Chapter 42
"So wait, he basically dismissed Neela being his and walked away?"
"Yeah."
"What an asshole!" Macaria shook her head, sipping her coffee and couldn't believe how callous Randy Orton was. "I would've seriously kicked him in the balls."
"Believe me, I wanted to." Nyla had raged about it until Roman distracted her with some angry sex, letting her vent her frustrations out on his body, hurt hand and all. "But then I thought about it after a while and realized it's the best thing he can do. Neela doesn't need to know what a douchebag her biological father is and she's already warmed up to Roman. I'd rather her just call him Daddy eventually than deal with all the drama Randy would bring."
Macaria couldn't argue that point, but at the same time, how could any man deny their offspring? It didn't make any sense to her. Growing up with loving parents spoiled Macaria and she never knew the hardships of broken families. Granted, she hadn't spoken to her parents in a couple years, but maybe it was time to mend those fences. She had always been dubbed a Daddy's girl. Randy Orton was a scumbag, just like Seth Rollins, and didn't deserve to know his beautiful, smart, funny little girl. Besides her eyes, Neela was all Nyla from top to bottom.
"So things are going great with you and Roman?"
Nyla smiled, her amber eyes glittering at the thought of Roman and took another pull from her coffee. "Yeah. Moving in with him was the best decision I could've made. It not only protected me, but Neela too. My parents are on their own." She wanted nothing to do with them after what they did to her or tried to do. "What about you? Anyone special in your life?"
"Oh yeah sure, I'll give you a list." Macaria retorted good-naturedly, not bothered by being asked about her personal life when it came to Nyla. "A woman that travels 300+ days out of the year all over the world, hardly gets any sleep or has time to wipe her ass. Looking for a strapping man that can only put up with seeing her 2 days a week, if that, and enjoys walks on the beach and having a good time. I should put that in the Vegas newspaper and see how many hits I get."
Nyla couldn't stop laughing, her stomach hurting and winced when she flexed her fractured hand. "Oh my god, you should as a prank and then, when the guy shows up wherever you meet up at, you can go 'have you lost your fucking mind or are you married with a dozen kids?'" That got them laughing harder.
"Seriously. Any guy who would go for that has a screw loose or is just looking for 'another' woman. I refuse to be someone's 'other' woman." Macaria would rather put a bullet in her head than deal with all that drama.
"Unless you work together…" Nyla immediately regretted saying that as soon as the words flew out of her mouth, the laughter stopping abruptly. "Sorry…"
"No, no it's okay." Macaria waved her off with an easy smile, no longer bothered by the mention of Dean and traced the rim of her coffee cup thoughtfully. "I know what you're getting at. It's only been 3 months though. I still have another 3 to go before I can even THINK about trying to mend what I broke between me and Dean."
"You didn't break anything, sweetie. It was the Authority. Hell, I'm sure with everything going on right now, if you two did get back together, Stephanie wouldn't bat an eyelash. She's too busy trying to protect Rollins and dealing with Roman possibly becoming the WWE World Heavyweight champion to worry about that stipulation. And it was only evoked because of Seth and Seth blew it when he backhanded you." Nyla made several valid points, shrugging at the solicitous look on Macaria's face. "The only question is: Do you still have feelings for Dean?"
That was a great question. One she could answer without hesitation. "Yeah. I do. I tried to forget about him and just focus on my work. I just don't want any more problems if we decide to get back together. I mean, I've done A LOT of work for the company since I signed and they know I'm legitimate." The other photographers actually came to HER for advice on poses and things related to their field. And they were there LONGER than her! "Love really sucks sometimes."
"So you don't just have feelings for him. You love him." Nyla beamed at her friend, seeing the realization dawn on Macaria. She hadn't meant to say the L word, but she had and there was no going back on it. "You love Dean Ambrose."
Macaria frowned, not meaning to say that word and lowered her head, fighting back the tears building in her eyes. She knew she loved Dean and it'd only grown stronger and more profound the longer they were apart. Three months felt like a lifetime, even with how busy she'd been. Late at night, alone in her hotel room, in the cold bed, is when it hit her just how much she missed him and longed to be in his arms again.
"I don't know if he even cares about me anymore." Macaria wasn't sure she wanted to take the risk to find out either. "Maybe he's happier without me…"
Nyla snorted into her coffee, tempted to tell Macaria the hell Dean had gone through without her being in his life the past 3 months. She promised she wouldn't, but the game had changed the moment Macaria admitted she loved him. Dean was her friend, but so was Macaria and it was obvious how much they needed each other. The Lunatic Fringe hadn't been the same without his honey blonde and Roman worried he would delve back into his dark places, from his Indy days.
She didn't miss that. "I bet he's probably got a whole slew of women coming to his rooms on a nightly basis wherever we're at." Macaria tested the waters, hearing another louder snort from Nyla and felt her heart swell, barely able to hold back a smile.
"If that's what you want to believe, I can't change your mind."
"Does he?"
Nyla shook her finger at Macaria, a smirk curving her lips. "I'm not saying anything. You wanna find out? You ask the man himself."
"Macaria, I really hate doing this to you, but I need you to get these approved by Ambrose."
Her head snapped up at the mention of that name, raising a brow at her supervisor, Neil, and took the photographs from him to look over them. They were all right, she supposed, but it definitely wasn't the way she'd do them. She nodded, turning away from Neil and recalled her morning coffee discussion with Nyla. From what little she heard, Dean wasn't with anyone else, not even ring rats to scratch an itch. Maybe this was her opportunity to talk to Dean, to find out how he felt and if he still wanted to be with her. Granted, it'd only been 3 months, but Nyla sounded pretty confident, as far as Stephanie not caring.
Chewing her bottom lip, Macaria made the decision to go to his locker room and walked out before she changed her mind. She didn't stop until she stood outside the door that read DEAN AMBROSE & ROMAN REIGNS. They were still sharing a locker room together, even after all this time. She dusted her shirt off a little, along with the pants she had on and reached her hand up to knock, waiting to hear his voice.
Instead, the door opened and there he stood in all his glory, unruly wet auburn blonde hair somewhat in his eyes, a t-shirt over his shoulder and tight blue jeans sealing to every part of his muscular lower half. Macaria was sure her heart skipped a beat, her jade eyes swimming in pools of pale blue. Dean stared down at the photographer curiously, wondering what Macaria, of all people, was doing here. He chewed his gum slower, giving her his own scan discreetly and decided it was time to break the silence when 3 minutes passed by.
"You lost, Macaria?"
His voice alone sent shivers throughout her body. The gritty rasp he naturally possessed, especially when he was relaxed. Macaria immediately snapped out of her daze and handed over the pictures, clearing her throat awkwardly. Business first, personal later.
"No, sorry. I need your approval for these photos Oliver took of you the other day. He's not here, family emergency, so I was asked to come here to talk to you about them." Macaria congratulated herself on remaining professional, seeing the amusement in his eyes.
"Is THAT right? Well, you are the expert with photography, so why don't you tell me? Are they good or bad?" Dean asked, gesturing with his hands to give her the floor and tried gauging how she would respond.
Sighing, Macaria didn't know if he was screwing with her or if he was serious; it was hard to read the man a lot. "Honestly?" She waited for his nod. "No. They're really bad. The lighting is off here." She pointed near the top of the first picture out of the bunch. This would take some commission out of Oliver's pocket, but if the job wasn't done correctly, he didn't deserve it anyway. "He didn't catch you at the right angle with this one." She flipped the picture to show Dean, her finger trailing on the photo.
Being this close to her was doing things to Dean. They hadn't been this close in proximity in 3 months. The smell of her intoxicated him as always and he found his hand having a mind of its own, pressing against the small of her back. Macaria didn't pull away, showing him a few more problems with the photographs and finally stopped to look up at him. She was also having issues too, the scent of leather and sandalwood infiltrating her nostrils making her slightly heady.
How did he feel about her?
How did she feel about him?
They were both questioning it at the same time, staring into each other's eyes and suddenly, the rest of the world disappeared and it was just them.
"So," Dean continued chewing his gum slowly, his voice lowering an octave to an almost gritty growl and felt a shiver rush through her. Good. He still affected her the same way. "What do you propose we do about these shitty pictures?"
Christ, she had to learn how to breathe all over again. "They need to be redone for sure. I didn't get a chance to look at them with my supervisor because he was in a hurry. But these aren't worthy of being in anything and need to be burned." Macaria wasn't saying it because she wanted to spend more time with Dean. It was the simple fact they blew chunks and could be A LOT better, deeper and sharper.
"Well, no time like the present." Dean stepped away from her to pull his Dean Ambrose black t-shirt on, smoothing it down his chest.
"I'm sorry, what?" Macaria blinked, watching him walk around the locker room to gather a few things.
"Does my hair look okay?" Dean joked, swiping at his bangs a bit and chuckled, not giving a damn what he looked like honestly. "What am I saying? I always look good."
"Dean…"
"Well come on then, Maca. Whip that camera out and let's take some new shots!" Dean was suddenly pumped up, clapping his hands together and dropped his chewing gum into the nearby trashcan. "Lead the way."
This was the last thing Macaria expected to happen.
She could only walk with him down the hallway and shook her head at the extra kick in his step. The way he rolled his shoulders while dancing, just little quirks and ticks this man had driven her crazy in a good way. His energy was off the charts and Macaria missed being around him, even talking or watching him while he did his pre-match workout. Macaria had been involved in the second half of the article, which would be coming out in a few days in a wrestling magazine. Half of it was Aya and the other was another journalist that had been hired to finish it up. All the photos taken of him by Macaria would be used, so she would get a huge commission from it.
"Okay, stand in front of the green screen." Macaria gestured to it, setting the lens on her camera and looked up from it, jumping slightly since Dean was RIGHT there in front of her. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing, just…look at you." Admiration laced Dean's voice as he gazed down at her and took a chance to slid his strong hands down her arms. Goosebumps formed instantly under his touch. "You've made something out of your passion. Your grandma would be proud."
An intense wave of emotion crashed over her as Macaria shut her eyes, once again fighting back tears. She recalled telling him about how her grandmother being responsible for giving her the passion of being a photographer. Gifting her a camera at such a young age. This was all she ever wanted – her own personal studio and she had it for the most part.
"Yeah, I hope she is." Her voice was barely audible, cracking under the pressure of holding her emotions back. "I thought I'd be happy to have my dream job. I thought it would be easy to be alone and do things my way. And it hasn't been. Because even with a new house and new car, a new job and life, it means nothing if you're alone. It means nothing if you can't be with the one person that makes you whole. The one person you can't stop thinking about. The one person who lifts you up when you're at your lowest. The one person you love…"
The entire time she spoke, Macaria kept her head down and continued toying with her camera. He could tell she was crying and knew those words were meant strictly for him. He made her whole. He was the one she couldn't stop thinking about. He was the one who lifted her up when she was at her lowest. He was the one she loved. Dean felt all of those things about her too and more, hating that he couldn't be with the woman he fell in love with because of company policy and a scumbag.
"Maca, look at me." Dean smiled when she shook her head, teardrops splattering against the camera and took it from her, setting it aside. "Babe, don't make me bend you over my knee now." That got a smile on her face and she felt his finger hook beneath her chin to raise it up until watery jade met electric, searing pale blue. "I should've told you this the day you signed your contract. I shouldn't have been a coward and kept what I felt bottled up. You were right. I didn't talk about my past with you because I didn't want you looking at me differently or pitying me. I never gave you that chance."
"I never gave US a chance," Macaria whispered, sniffling and felt the pads of his thumbs wipe away her tears. "After what Seth did to me, I was scared he would keep coming after me as long as I was with you or hanging out with you. And at the time, I was confused about my feelings for you because they were so intense and they scared me too."
"We were both scared. Let's leave it at that." Dean caressed her cheek with the back of his hand, hating how fear had taken her away from him and pushed him out of her life for 3 months.
"What is it you wanted to tell me that day I signed with the company?" Macaria had caught that and it was Dean's turn to look a little sheepish. "Come on, we're baring our souls here. Might as well go all the way."
It was hard for Dean to express how he felt, to put it into words. He was a man of action, always had been. Action wasn't needed right now, though. She needed to hear these words and nothing would stop him from saying them.
"I love you, Macaria."
She was the first woman he said those words to, besides his mother, and Dean hoped she would be the last. Sure, he'd told Renee and a few others he loved them, but never actually meant it as anything more than friendship. With Macaria, it was true, unconditional love and it took Dean a while to realize what he was feeling for her the more time they spent together. Love was the only logical conclusion.
"I know we still have 3 months to go…"
Macaria shook her head, stopping him by pressing a finger to his lips. "I'm not waiting a second longer to be with you, Dean. They can go ahead and fire me if they don't like it. Because I love you too."
Smirking at her rebellious attitude, Dean felt warmth rush through from the top of his head to the tips of his toes as he pulled her flush against his body, his eyes searching hers.
A second later, his mouth hungrily captured hers and felt her arms encircle his neck, lifting her off the floor.
