Author's note: Sorry this took so long. I wrote so many different versions of this chapter, it's insane! The finished version has elements from each of my favorite scraps, along with parts that are unique to it, and I'm pretty satisfied with how it came out. I'm really glad I kept picking at it, even if it took forever...
Cedric anxiously unlocked the door to their house, aware that in a just a few minutes he would have to make his confession, and unsure if his sister would forgive him after he told her everything. He swung the barrier open and marched inside, leaving Sofia to follow and lock the door behind him.
"Should we have something to eat, or maybe some tea..." He stalled, but she shook her head.
"Not before you keep your promise." She insisted, blocking his way to the kitchen. He closed his eyes and swallowed hard, then nodded, continuing up the stairs and into his bedroom. There, he climbed up on the mattress and waited for her to join him. "Well..." She prodded when he didn't start right away.
"Ca-can you not look at me while I'm telling you?" Sofia tapped her lips thoughtfully, then scrambled onto the bed behind him. She braced her back against his, then reached out and took one of his hands in each of hers.
"How's this?" She questioned, leaning her head until it, too, was touching his. Cedric chuckled, shaking his head at her antics, even though it really did make him feel better.
"Amber's been trying to tell you about something that happened a few times in primary, but I really wanted you to hear it from me first." He started, wondering if he really had the courage to see this conversation through to the end. Maybe it would be easier to let Amber tattle on him and just accept the consequences. "The thing with Hugo, it was a little different, since he was trying to force you, but..." Cedric trailed off, finding it difficult to put his confession into words. Sofia squeezed his fingers, and he rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb, genuinely afraid it would be the last time she would let him be this close to her.
"It's okay. Whatever you want to tell me, I'll listen." She reassured him softly. Taking a deep breath, he tried again.
"Everytime I've thought someone liked you, I did everything I could to scare them away." He blurted out, feeling his cheeks burn with shame. "I pelted one with dodgeballs all through gym period, stole a boy's bike and refused to give it back unless he never talked to you again... I was even the one who started the rumor about you liking girls back in year 5." Once he started admitting to the things he'd done, they just came poured out of him, and he found himself both unwilling and unable to stop himself. I bet she hates me now. He hung his head, clinging to her hands like a lifeline while they sat in absolute silence.
"Did you draw that picture on my quiz today?" She thought to ask, recalling what Amber had told her in the hallway earlier.
"Yes." He admitted sheepishly, shifting uncomfortably in his spot on the mattress. He actually felt a bit guilty for that one, since Sofia hated to get into trouble, but she hadn't given him much warning, so he was forced to act on the opportunity when it presented itself instead of planning something less obvious.
"Why?" Sofia whispered after a tortuous pause, asking the one question he couldn't possibly give her an honest explanation for. No, this is bad enough. I can't tell her how I really feel about her, too. If I did... I would definitely lose her forever.
"Because I'm your brother, and it's my job to protect you." He lied, almost gasping when Sofia broke their contact. "I guess I-I just get carried away sometimes."
"I see..." She muttered simply, suddenly feeling so far away even though she was still right behind him.
"Are you angry?" Cedric asked, too frightened to look behind him and see what kind of expression she was making just yet.
"I-I'm confused. The stuff you did was really not okay." Cedric nodded, then remembered that she couldn't see him.
"I know that." He breathed. Despite what he said earlier, he really wished he could see her, so finally he turned around, snaking his arms under hers and wrapping them around her waist to draw her into his lap. "I know I was wrong, and I know I'm asking a lot, but I want you to forgive me."
"I need some time to think." Sofia replied, tugging free of his grasp and hopping down off of his bed, a move that both surprised and alarmed him, considering she was usually the one pushing him to get close. Cedric watched helplessly as she left the room, then threw himself face down onto his pillow, muffling a frustrated scream.
If she were anyone else, he could just tell her the truth, that he was jealous. That the thought of her with other boys destroyed him because he loved her and wanted her to love him back. But he couldn't say something like that to his sister, what he'd already done was horrible enough.
I'm such an idiot! He shut his eyes tight, praying that when he opened them again, he would be waking from a terrible dream, that none of this was really happening. When the door to his room quietly squeaked open a while later, he ignored it, afraid to face Sofia again.
A fluttering sound from above his head distracted him from his misery, and he opened his eyes to see dozens of papers and photos raining down on his bed, all coming from a bin his sister held upside down over him, standing on her tiptoes to reach so high.
"What are you doing?" He demanded, completely confused by her strange actions. She tossed the empty bin aside, grabbing a crayon drawing that had landed on his chest and holding it up for his inspection.
"See this? This is a picture you drew for me in nursery. That's you, and that's me-" She paused to point to two poorly drawn blob people, "and we're having a picnic." She reached out and grabbed a photo from next to his head, holding this up, too. In it, the two of them were standing in the yard with their bikes, grinning like Cheshire cats.
"This is the day dad took our training wheels off, I fell and skinned my knee, but you told me I had to get back on or you'd tell everyone I was a 'fraidy-cat, so I did, and we rode down to the stop sign and back together." She dug through some papers by his feet until she found what she was looking for. "This is the Christmas card from the year you gave me that awful green dress as a present."
"Mom picked that dress." Cedric defended himself. "What are you getting at, Sofia?" She carefully collected the mementos, piling them back into the box before scooting back onto the mattress beside him.
"This is the box I keep all my most precious things in." She told him, patting the side of it. "You know what isn't in here?" Cedric sat up, shaking his head to answer her question.
"The glow bracelet Jun gave me in second form, the letter from Luke that came in the mail over last summer, anything from any of the boys that have ever showed me the slightest bit of attention. Cedric, you matter the most to me!" He tugged her to him again and laid them both down.
"I won't do anything like that again." He whispered, peeking down at her satisfied face. "Unless they're actually being pushy, of course."
"Then I forgive you... after you apologize to Amber." Sofia snuggled against him, and before he knew it, both he and his sister had drifted off to sleep.
The doorbell rang, interrupting Cedric's pleasant nap with its incessant buzzing. At first, he planned to let Sofia handle it, but when the noise continued unanswered, he climbed out of bed and trudged into the hallway, taking one last longing look towards the bed he'd been sharing with Sofia before slowly descending the handful of stairs that led to the main floor of the house. As he made his way past the vacant living room and kitchen, heading to the front door, it dawned on him how very empty this part of the house always seemed.
With their parents gone more often than not, and their older sister a ten minute drive across town, he and Sofia were usually the only ones in the house, and they spent almost all of the time they were home upstairs in his room. He let out a small groan before sweeping the white gauzy curtain aside to peek through the windowed top half of the door. Standing outside were James and Amber, with the former just raising his finger to the doorbell to try again until he spotted Cedric peeking out and waved at him, instead.
Cedric turned the deadbolt and slid the chain of the lock at the top of the door, yanking it open to let them inside, though what he really wanted to do was run back upstairs and hide under his covers until they took the hint and went home.
"Hey guys, what's up?" He inquired, remembering to force a smile as they entered the house. His eyes locked with Amber's for a moment, and it was impossible to miss the venom in her stare. I see, so this is about earlier.
"I texted you, but you didn't answer." James began, marching past to disappear into the kitchen, where he began to raid the already pitiful stock of food in the fridge. "I thought we could hang out tonight." It wasn't an unusual request for a Friday night, and not so long ago it would go without saying that the four of them would be spending the entire weekend together. Everything had changed so suddenly with the end of the summer and middle school starting up, and even Cedric found himself a bit nostalgic for a time when they were all closer, save for his self-imposed distance from Sofia.
He reached into the cupboard, pulling down glasses for the soda James had set on the counter, and bracing himself for the part where one or the other of his cousins would launch into the verbal assault he knew must be coming after his showdown with Amber earlier, but James seemed oblivious, and if she was planning to give him an earful, she seemed to be biding her time.
"I'll go tell Sofia you're here." Cedric offered, though he disliked the idea of dragging her out of bed. "I already told her everything." He whispered as he passed Amber. She opened her mouth to reply, but he was already on the steps again, taking them two at a time.
"Sofia?" He knocked lightly on the door, but when no response came, he turned the handle and went in. She was still fast asleep on top of his covers, and he eased himself onto the mattress beside her, taking the opportunity to memorize her sweet sleeping face even though he'd seen it millions of times before. She let out a steady breath that drew him in, and even though his intention had merely been to shake his sister awake, he inched his face closer to hers until their lips were touching, cursing himself for his actions even while he was in the middle of carrying them out.
Her lips were warm and soft, inviting him all the more as he deepened the kiss as much as he dared to. As he was pulling back, she drew in a shuttering breath, fluttering her eyes open to stare up at him in shock.
"Did you just... kiss me?" She whispered, bringing her fingers to her lips. He knew from the way she looked at him that he'd been caught, but he wasn't about to admit defeat so easily.
"Of course not." He lied, scooting away from her with as much false shock as he could muster. "I told you, that time was a mistake. I wouldn't do it again."
"But I could swear that-" She started to protest, sitting up in the bed and blinking rapidly in confusion.
"What kind of weird things were you dreaming?" Cedric stood, avoiding her gaze as he hurried towards the door. "James and Amber are downstairs, so hurry up and come down." He instructed calmly before leaving the room. Closing the door behind him and leaning against it, Cedric squeezed his eyes shut, biting back the temptation to shout every cussword he knew. I'm such an idiot!
It took a few minutes of deep breathing before his heart rate slowed to normal, and he felt he could face everyone without acting strangely.
