Chapter 2: Hope

When she recalled the face of the little boy, her face and mind would always light up. He was, on top of being freaking adorable, the smartest, nicest and best behaving boy she ever met. In a way he was a lot like Shinichi, however unlike the grade-schooler Shinichi used to be, Conan was not as timid.

It always surprised people to hear that the Great Detective of the East was rather shy in his childhood, but that was exactly why Shinichi didn't and still doesn't have that many friends. Unlike what most people think, he isn't seeing himself as unworthy of others company, but instead is unsure on how to approach them and is, on top of that, not one to trust others quickly, what had earned him the reputation of the prideful genius, a role he slowly began to adapt.

Conan on the other hand was openminded and always nice to everybody, what makes him a embodiment of what a good child should be like, save for his ability to get himself, sometimes willingly and sometimes unintentionally, in a lot of troubles.

But even then, he was quick to recover from whatever fate had done to him and was back to be the cheerful little boy he always was in no time. Always ready to help other, rescue injured animals and assist his friends with their homework, without taking the challenge of solving it away. Whenever the bespectacled grade-schooler was around, something would happen and no matter what it was, Conan would make sure that nothing bad could happen and everybody would arrive safe at home.

In moments like these, when her thoughts started to circle around her little brother, she caught herself thinking about the generic questions a girl in love would ask.

"What is he doing right now? Is he thinking of me? Should I call him?"

Whenever her mind went down this route, she would instantly stop herself before her thoughts entered the normally overly romantic but, in this case, entirely wrong sphere of physical craving for love.

Just imagining it, would cause an immediate urge to puke to well up inside of her, which she could only resist till she reached the toilet and slumped together in front of it, to let her last meal see the light of day again.

The thoughts itself were just sick!

And even though she could no longer deny the verity of her feeling, she still would see this love as something that shouldn't and couldn't exist, again dragging herself deeper into the swamp of her guilt.

For some time, she tried to explain her love as a sort of projection, where she would miss Shinichi that much that she would see Conan as his replacement. That was also the reason why she accused him of being Shinichi or at least that is what she told herself. As unsettling as this was, it seemed much worse to think of herself as one of these peoples.

A pedophile.

Ran really hated the word now, because it didn't only embody her biggest fear, but also the most probable reality. Shinichi always said, "When you eliminate the impossible whatever remains however improbable must be the truth.", but just this time, she desperately wished him to be wrong.

"Shinichi, … help me…"

The faint cry of help, which would normally be nearly unhearable, seemed to echo in the office with the strength of a bell's ringing.

The muttered words however, bore no weight.

Ran was simply not able to tell ANYBODY about her current situation, about her sickness.

It wouldn't just be very uncomfortable and embarrassing for her, but she dreaded the reaction of the others the most.

Who would want to be friend with a pedophile?

Who would even listen to one?

What would they think?

The instance Ran took her own feelings somewhat serious, she agreed with herself that this wasn't something she could tell anybody. Not just for her own sake, but also for the peace of mind of the others. Because even if they wouldn't resent her, they would worry a whole lot. Not over Ran, but over what she may would do.

What if she molested a child.

Unlike the usual cases Shinichi had, this was nothing she could burden others with. She would figure out what to do herself or break while trying.

And there were only two options she had, either ignore her feelings, lock them up and never release them again or try to fight them, try to prove their false motives.

She really must be going insane to think of her own feelings as some sort of culprit, but it helped her cope with it for now, because it gave her hope.

Hope, that she wasn't as twisted as she thought.

Hope, that she could be cured.

Hope that it wasn't true.

Just hope, in general.


This is the first chapter of my first fan-fiction, so I apologize for any spellings and grammar mistakes. Neither is English my native language nor am I especially gifted when it comes to writing.

As always all right go to Gosho Aoyama, the original creator of the Detective Conan Universe.

Questions and review are highly requested and if you want to know how the story continues leave a follow.

Welcome back to my story, I'm glad that you came back.

I'm not a huge friend of walls of text over the, lets say, development of this story, but if you do want to know how I came up with the ideas and plot line, I could write a little bit about this after the story, so would you like to read that?

Last but not least, I do intend to finish this story and every other I will start in the future.

And that is all for today.

Farewell