On their way back to the castle, La Muerte was silent in shock and dread the whole trip, no matter how much Aimé tried to comfort her and told her everything was going to be alright. Her hands were on top of her abdomen, just where Doctor Chamán had placed his hand and found a tiny life inside, growing and nourishing. She could not believe it, she still had trouble processing the news; if only the circumstances were different, she'd be the happiest woman, but right now the last thing she needed was a baby.
This did not mean she did not love her baby. A baby was always a blessing, no matter the situation, and when she learned she was with a child, that very moment all her maternal instincts awakened from their dormant state within her heart, and she felt nothing but motherly love, adoration for this tiny being in her womb, she felt the need to protect it from all harm and whoever wanted to hurt it. But the knowledge of who the child's father was… That was the thing that was bothering her the most.
She didn't know what she'd do now. But one thing was for certain, she'd have this child. She said it once, she repeated again. She did not need Xibalba, she'd raise her little son or daughter herself, and she'd teach him/her morals and principles. She wouldn't let his genes spoil her little one.
As they climbed out of the carriage, La Muerte and Aimé immediately headed upstairs, and went straight to the former's room. Luckily Sol was making all the preparations for La Muerte's birthday ball, and he did not notice his daughters' anxiety and worry when he greeted them as they came back. As soon as they were back upstairs, Aimé locked the doors of her sister's room to make sure no one would hear their following conversation; La Muerte sat down on the edge of the bed, her hands still on her abdomen.
"La Muerte, are you sure you are okay?" Aimé asked her sister worriedly. "You haven't said a word ever since we left Doctor Chamán's place."
"I'm alright, Amy…" La Muerte whispered. Her eyes were stinging with tears, but these were neither too joyful nor too painful, she was in between. "But I just… I don't know…"
"It's his, isn't it?"
Holding back a sob, she nodded. She was carrying Xibalba's child.
"What are you going to do, big sis?" Aimé sat down next to La Muerte, holding her hand. "Are you going to tell Xibalba-?"
"No." Her gaze hardened. "He'll never know."
"But it's his child, I think he has the right to know-"
"For what? I doubt he'll take responsibility, he would certainly mandarme al demonio, I'm not going to go through that humiliation. I don't need him, I can raise my child by myself."
"And you know you have all my support, sis, but… I mean, what are you going to do when Father finds out…?"
Her anger was replaced by worry and fear. Aimé was right. King Sol was a firm believer of the old customs, of decency; he didn't take pregnancy out of wedlock lightly… She had been married when she had sexual intercourse with Xibalba, that was right, but to him it would be like bedding with someone out of wedlock. She knew her father was no fool, when the months passed by her state would be given away by her panza, Sol would realize what had truly happened between her and Xibalba… She even thought he'd be capable of giving her child away to 'conceal her shame'. "I don't know, Amy…" She was afraid of what he would say. Of what everyone would say.
"I don't think keeping it a secret it's a good idea. If Father finds out by himself, he won't be happy."
"I know, I just… I need to wait for the right moment…"
"But how? You know that it ruins his plans of you finding a new husband, I don't think he'll take it lightly…"
"Well, it could be a chance to get rid of all those suitors…" La Muerte sighed. No god would want to raise Xibalba's child, his reputation was too fearsome and dark, they wouldn't want to imagine what he had passed down unto the baby. It might was well turn out to be just like his father, but La Muerte would make sure it didn't happen. From this moment and on, her top priority would be the wellbeing and safety of the baby; if anyone wanted to be by her side, they'd have to accept her child. Aimé figured her sister wanted to be alone for a while, so she kissed her cheek gently and then stood up, heading to the door and leaving the room. La Muerte sighed. Maybe she should rest a bit to clear her head and think on what she'd do. La Muerte fluffed her pillows and allowed herself to fall unto her mattress, letting out a sigh as her eyelids closed, it wasn't long before she fell asleep.
…
She was awakened by a sound in her window. Reluctantly, La Muerte woke up, shifting to sit up in bed and glance at her window; she saw a crow pecking at her window, cawing to call her attention. Curious, she opens the window telepathically with a small wave of her hand to allow the black bird in, and not a second after the crow entered the room it burst into green fire to change into a crocodilian god she knew too well.
"Z-Zipacna?" La Muerte stood up this time, warily approaching him.
"La Muerte, are you alright?" Zipacna was not was awkward, and he approached his sister-in-law to place his hands on her shoulders. "What happened? I heard what... occurred between you and my brother."
Her stomach sunk. "Don't talk about him in front of me!" she tried to free herself from his grip, but it was unusually tight.
"Answer the question. Is it true? Did you leave him?"
La Muerte's eyes were swelling up with tears. Her struggle ceased, and she found herself embracing him, sobbing. Zipacna was taken aback for a while; he was used to feminine company, but he was not used to comforting women. What was he supposed to say? Or do? He had the feeling she just needed an ear to hear her out, so for the moment he just returned the embrace, pulling her closer and wrapping his wings around her. "Shh. There, there, it's okay, cariño."
"It's true, but…" La Muerte was sobbing uncontrollably. "Not for the reason everyone thinks…"
"What do you mean?" Zipacna raised his ears, and pulled away from the hug, bringing the goddess over to bed so she could sit down.
"I… He…" she struggled to finish the sentence. "He deceived me… He m-made me think he l-loved me, but… it was a lie… Fue una maldita mentira… He only wanted my m-maidenhood…"
Zipacna couldn't believe what he was hearing. He could not believe what he was hearing; really he could not, that was not like Xibalba. He knew his brother well enough to say he was not the type to toy with women. Sure, he has had many lovers in the past, but he always respected them. There was something off… "Hey, La Muerte, don't take it badly, I don't mean to take sides, but… Maybe you misunderstood what he did?"
La Muerte turned to him, and he could see the fire in her eyes. "What?"
"Well, I… Look, I know my brother. You might not believe me right now, but he is not the type to treat women like trash-"
The goddess stood up from bed, glaring daggers into him. "Then you didn't know him as you thought."
"I'm serious! La Muerte, he is not evil, he is just insecure! He probably thought that you'd be better off without him." Zipacna was starting to tremble. "I mean, It's the first time he has loved someone-"
"He never loved me, don't you get it?! He only used me!"
"La Muerte, I only-!"
"Did he send you?"
"Wha-?!" Now it was Zipacna who grew angry, standing up and nearly towering over her. "In case you forgot he has not spoken to me for who-knows how long!"
"How can I be certain that is not another lie?!"
"Now listen here, missy! Do I look like a liar to you?! You can judge Xibalba if you want, but you don't know anything about me; you don't have the right to judge me! I'm sorry if you got hurt, but it doesn't mean you have to take it all out on me just because I'm related to the one who did it!"
He regretted his harsh words when La Muerte started to sob again. Heck, why did he have to mess everything up?! But there was something off, she was being too exaggerated… not in that way. He hadn't seen her change from sad to angry and then back to sadness that quick, unless… He realized what was going on.
"You're pregnant, aren't you?"
La Muerte froze. "W-What?" She quickly tried to regain her composure to no avail. "I d-don't know what you're talking about! I'm perfectly fine!"
She was a terrible liar, Zipacna could see it in her eyes and her face. She was expecting a child, his brother's child, but maybe it would be best not to upset her any further; he had heard the first trimester was very sensitive, there was a greater risk of a miscarriage should the mother get under too much stress or emotional distress. He chose to follow her game. "Sorry, just an assumption. I guess I should think thrice before I speak."
La Muerte sighed in relief. He had not caught on. "Don't worry, it's just…" a few tears were rolling down her cheeks, even though she vowed she'd never shed any more tears for him. "I still can't believe I was foolish enough to have fallen into his deceit…"
Zipacna remained silent. He listened to her words intently. He knew what he'd have to do.
Asclepius had told him to stay in bed until further notice, but Xibalba simply could not stand to be unmoving for long, it irritated him, made him feel useless, especially now that La Muerte was gone and he had no one to keep him company. Sure, he had his servants, but it was her company he wanted, he wanted that infuriating, stubborn annoying woman to come and chastise him for something he did, or disagree with his beliefs and actions, but she had left. He was so lonely…
No more than once had the need of feminine company (other than Regina's) crossed his mind, but he always scrapped the ideas. He didn't want another woman, he wanted his woman. He could never think of touching another. He had tried, but he could not. He was not proud to say this, but a few days after driving his wife away he grew desperate with loneliness, and went to find someone to 'comfort him'. But he could not even touch her, everytime he tried memories of La Muerte's kisses, caresses, tender skin and silky hair would come back to haunt him. In the end he gave up. It was official, he would never touch another woman again in his life.
Finally he couldn't bear it any longer. With some difficulty, while being careful not to move too quick or forcibly, Xiballba made his way out of bed, and grabbed unto his staff to support himself as he walked out of his room. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to go and take a walk around his castle, he didn't really feel like going to the garden, as incredible as it sounded. He just wanted to get away from everything. Soon he was passing through the west hall, and in front of the dreaded door with the claw marks. Xibalba just stood there in front of the door for a while, he had not been here for a long while (except when he had found La Muerte here), and wondered if the dark aura inside had grown fainter.
A shiver ran down Xibalba's spine as he pushed the doors open and walked inside, finding it as abandoned and neglected as before. The sound of his staff and his footsteps echoed in the dark room, reminding him how silent it was in here. As soon as he was inside, he lifted his gaze to the portrait hanging from the wall. His heart started to hurt and ache again, but this time it was not because of La Muerte. This time it was because of his mother, watching that portrait of her holding him a an infant, it had been centuries ever since that picture had been taken, but he still remembered her. Her smell of flowers, her angelical voice singing and the warmth of her embrace.
He glanced at the music box just at the feet of the portrait. It had been so long ever since he heard the melody in that trinket, out of sudden a feeling of nostalgia overwhelmed him; his curiosity betrayed him, and he walked closer to the music box, running a finger on the lid, then lifting it slowly. When the little tune started to play, he felt the nostalgia return tenfold, and his eyes swelled up with tears. Suddenly, he saw a small white light coming from within the music box, and before he knew it, the flash that came afterwards made him lose consciousness.
When he woke up, he realized he was still in the room; with his head still spinning from the flash, his vision took a while in adjusting to the new-found illumination, but he caught movement in the corner of his eye. When he turned around, Xibalba's eyes went wide and his heart nearly stopped, not believing what he was seeing. Selena, the goddess of the Moon, his mother, was right there, in this very room, just in front of him. He was so stunned he did not notice the state of the room.
"M-Mamá…?" this couldn't be. As Xibalba went back to his feet, he approached his mother warily, though he was happy to see her. Soon, however, he noticed she had not turned to see him, and was hurriedly packing up. "Mother… Can you hear me?" As he reached out to touch Selena's shoulder, he quickly withdrew his hands when his fingertips went right through her. That was when he realized this was a memory, and he was nothing but an unseen ghost travelling through the sands of time.
"Selena!"
Xibalba froze for a second time, this time because of the roaring voice coming from the hall, and the skeletal dragon he had to call Father entering the room with a menacing expression.
"Mujer, would you care to explain why you let my son leave with that-!" Akrinok noticed the clothing on the bed, and the half-finished baggage at the side. "What are you doing?" he hissed.
Much to Xibalba's surprise and shock, this time Selena did not flinch nor show any fear. For the first time ever, she was glaring at him with all the hatred she could muster. He never thought he'd see her like that. "I'm leaving."
Both Akrinok and Xibalba couldn't believe what they had just heard.
"What are you saying?" Akrinok's blood started to boil as he returned the glare tenfold, his pupils turning to slits and his eyes starting to glow red.
"I'm taking my children away from you!" Selena retorted, stepping away from the dragon. "I'm not going to stand by as you keep torturing them any longer!"
Akrinok chuckled humorlessly. "You think you can just leave me just like that?" He grabbed her chin and forced her to look into his eyes. "You belong to me."
"I belong to no one!" the goddess stood back, her hands clenching into fists. "I'm not letting you turn Xibalba into a beast like you! As soon as I get him away from you I'll undo all the damage you've done to him!"
Xibalba was moved by his mother's words.
"Damage?" Akrinok growled. "I've been toughening him up. If he is to be my successor, he must have an iron fist!"
"Iron fist?! You are cruel! You take advantage of helpless people, you destroy families and lives out of sheer pleasure, you kill women and children! I'm not letting you rub off your cruelty into my son!"
"You seem to forget something, my dear." Akrinok was slowly starting to lose control. His red eyes were glowing menacingly now, and he was baring his teeth at her. "You are powerless. Your power was stripped from you the moment you became my wife. You have no chance against me, even if you managed to get out of this castle, the Forgotten Beasts would tear you as well as the boys apart."
Selena started to back down.
"Mamá, don't listen to him!" Xibalba cried out, forgetting for a moment they could not see nor hear him.
"And you're not the one who's had enough. You've been softening my heir into a mama's boy for too long, Selena."
"Stay away!" Selena was stepping back, but she was cornered.
"Get away from her!" Xibalba tried in van to intervene. He only watched helpless as Akrinok violently smacked Selena in the waist with his talon with such strength that he sent her against the wall. But as Akrinok was approaching to finish her off, he stopped in his tracks when Selena cried out in pain, clutching her stomach; both Xibalba and Akrinok were confused as to what was going on, until they saw blood tainting the skirt of her dress between her legs.
Realization hit them both.
"Mamá!" Xibalba ran to her side, but he could not touch her. He could only watch helplessly as she continued to bleed, screaming.
Akrinok was frozen. She was… S-She… Xibalba turned around to look at his father with hatred, but what he found in the dragon's expression was even more shocking than what he had just discovered; he saw horror, shock and… was that… guilt? N-No, he must be imagining things…! Akrinok could not bear the sight anymore, but not out of disgust, and turned into a shadow to flee the room. Selena's screams soon called the attention of the servants, and five seconds didn't pass before Regina crossed the doors, gasping in horror at the scene. Despite the agony and the tearing cramps that tore her from the inside, Selena managed to glance at Regina with grit teeth, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Regina… ayúdame…"
"Mother!" Xibalba tried and failed to touch his mother, again only watching as Regina ran to her mistress's side, screaming at Emilio and the others to come and help. Suddenly, all his surroundings started to disappear when the other lizards ran inside the room and headed towards Selena. Xibalba felt like something was dragging him out. "No, let go of me!" he screamed at practically no one, but he did not care. Black tendrils of energy were pulling him away from Selena, until he could only hear her screams of agony. Finally, the tears ran down his cheeks as he only managed to release an arm and reach out for Selena in despair. "MOTHER!"
Xibalba woke up with a start. He was drenched in cold sweat, and his heart was drumming, nearly bursting out of his chest. It took him a few minutes to calm down, until he realized he was no longer in the forbidden room, he was back in his own chambers. But how did he get here…? Had Regina and the lizards found him unconscious and brought him back?
The image of his mother on the floor, bleeding, screaming and dying returned to him. He was at first confused, not understanding what had happened to her. She just started to bleed like that, from between her legs. Something told him she had not been sick, however, a part of him feared the words. He knew what had happened, but he did not want to even think about it. But then his thoughts turned to her words.
She was going to take them away.
Xibalba's eyes swelled up with tears. Selena was going to leave his father, she was going to take them away from his cruelty, from his shadow, she had finally gathered the courage to stand up to him, and it had been for him. She was willing to give everything up just to save him from Akrinok. And it had cost her life… and that of his unborn sibling.
His blood started to boil when he thought about his father.
Finally he knew what had happened.
He finally knew how his mother died.
"You killed her…" the dark god spoke through grit teeth, clutching his sheets in anger.
Akrinok's shadow had been watching his son during his trance, and realized it was futile to keep hiding it. His shadow materialized next to his son's bed, for once his red eyes were not glowing with hate. Once Xibalba had the object of his fury and hatred in front of him, he instantly teleported in front of him, spreading out his wings menacingly and sending his father against the wall with a single punch, his teeth turned into fangs.
"ASESINASTE A MI MADRE!" Xibalba roared, hot tears of anger now streaming down his cheeks.
Oddly, Akrinok did not snicker nor make a mocking comment. As he recovered from the atttack, he glanced at his son, but he had no hatred or fury in his eyes. "…I did not want to kill her…"
"SAVE YOUR DAMN LIES FOR SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY BELIEVES THEM!" Xibalba screamed at him. "She was pregnant and you didn't care! Not only did you murder mamá, you also murdered my unborn sibling!"
"I did not know…" Akrinok simply said, his voice full of regret. "She never told me she was carrying another child… I would have never touched her had I known…"
"I don't believe you…!" Xibalba stepped back, bringing his hands to his head, gritting his teeth. "You never loved her, she was nothing but a trophy to you…! Have you forgotten all the times you mistreated her in front of me?! How much I suffered seeing her being a victim to your cruelty!"
"You don't know anything, boy!" Akrinok was losing his cool, and started to growl. "She was going to abandon me! I did not want her to leave me! Even if you don't want to believe anything of what I said, I loved her!"
"Please! You didn't love your own children, why should I believe you loved mother?!"
"I tried everything but she never reciprocated me! Did she never tell you?!" There was genuine hurt and despair in Akrinok's voice. Xibalba never thought he'd hear those emotions in his father. "I gave her gifts, compliments, everything but that was not enough for her! No matter what I did Selena never loved me back!"
"And you think that you'd earn anything from her by treating her like garbage?! A woman is not an object to discard once you're done with it!"
Akrinok chuckled humorlessly, bitterness in his voice as he narrowed his eyes, floating closer to his son and fidgeting with the ring hanging on his neck. "You should talk, boy. Isn't that exactly what you did with your wife?"
Xibalba narrowed his eyes as well, clenching his hands into fists. "I let her go. It's a very different thing."
"Please!" Akrinok snapped, floating backwards, gnashing his teeth. "As soon as you got what you wanted from her you got rid of her! Isn't that what you wanted from the beginning?"
"Maybe I did. But unlike you, I never lay a finger on her. I always respected her, I gave La Muerte her place. Then I got to know her better, and saw her as a friend. That wonderful woman was the first one who stole my heart, and I'll never regret falling in love with her. That's why I made her leave, because she deserved better than me."
"For once, I agree with you boy." The spectral dragon floated closer to see his son in the eyes. "She did deserve better than you. Look at you, you are nothing but a pathetic excuse for a ruler. You are nothing worth loving, you're not handsome nor rich, you have nothing to offer to that woman, do you?"
For a moment, Xibalba's fire seemed to extinguish momentarily, until he spoke again. "You know, perhaps if you had told me this before, I would have believed you. I used to be afraid of you ever since I was child, so much I never contradicted your words in fear you'd torture me further, and eventually I came to believe what you said was true." La Muerte's reassuring words returned to him, and he found himself with a new feeling of confidence as he looked up at his father defiant. "But not anymore."
Akrinok was stunned for a few seconds, before he uttered one single word. "What?"
"I'm not like you, Father. You may think I'm no one, but you are wrong. I'm much more than a pawn in your stupid game of conquest, I'm not six years old anymore. I am a much better King than you ever were, I was a much better husband than you ever were." As his confidence continued to strengthen, Akrinok started to feel weak. "You were so afraid of me getting out of your shadow to create my own that you tried to break me." Xibalba chuckled humorlessly. "I must admit, though, you did a good job the first years you came to haunt me. You preyed on my loneliness and insecurity to manipulate me like a puppet, made me drive everyone away to make sure I would not have any sort of comfort. But you know what, Akrinok?"
Akrinok's shadow was starting to disappear, but he did not say anything. He tried to speak, but something kept his throat dry and his jaws clamped, and he was soon cornered against the wall. Xibalba was smiling in satisfaction at seeing his father backing off for the first time. "You failed. You may have killed mother, but her spirit lived on. Her love kept me going through all these years, and it was reborn on a new type of love I never thought I'd feel. La Muerte's love changed me, she brought me out of the darkness and despair you cast upon me. I don't fear you anymore. Go back to Hell, orwhenever you returned from." When Akrinok's head was the only thing left of his spirit, Xibalba's smirk grew wider with glee. "Farewell."
As if on cue, Akrinok vanished into thin air.
When he was alone, Xibalba let out a deep sigh, and had to support himself against the wall; for the first time in his life he felt… he didn't know how to describe it… Free. At peace. He felt a great weight had been lifted off his chest, giving him freedom to finally be himself. He was happy.
There was a knock on the door, and Emilio peeked his head in. "M-My Lord, you have a v-visitor who wishes to speak to you…" he sounded nervous when he said the word visitor, why would it be…?
Unless…
His heart skipped a beat. Had La Muerte returned? A great part of him wished she had, he was desperate to see her and touch her, he wanted to tell her he loved her and make up for the horrible things he said. Emilio still looked reluctant, but he nevertheless stepped aside to allow this visitor to come in.
Xibalba's hopes to see his wife turned into bitterness, anger and indignation when he saw this mysterious visit was not La Muerte. He narrowed his eyes,, clenching his fists and gritting his teeth.
"You."
