L's PoV~
I watched Light with growing concern.
I felt like I never took my eyes off of him, though, with the chain, that was not abnormal.
Rarely did he sleep well at night. Or at all. A couple nights he had stayed up working on cases with me, while other times he would lie in bed, facing away from me, pretending to sleep. If he ever did fall asleep, then it was restless. He would cry out in fear from the Kira he saw.
Every time, I tried my best to comfort him, but there was only so much I could do. I had never been good at comforting people.
I had almost stopped sleeping entirely. I knew there had to be a way to save Light, if only I could find it.
Light was still good at keeping his perfect facade whenever we were around the Task Force. The only time that he seemed to break was at night. He had stopped keeping his facade up when he was alone with me. Those were the times I tried my best to keep him sane.
One night, while Light-kun was (finally) fast asleep, after I had forced him to lie down, I typed a message to Watari:
Watari,
I need your help.
I can't move but I need to talk to you.
I looked over the note multiple times. I never typed much to Watari because of how well he understood me, but I knew this was a strange request. I sent the message before I could change my mind and waited for his response.
As I waited, I noticed that it was two in the morning. I cringed, instantly feeling guilty. I knew Watari would wake and come at my beck and call, but I still felt bad for waking him.
Watari's reply popped up on my computer:
I'm on my way, Ryuzaki.
I closed my eyes, thinking through what I would say, categorizing my points in my head. I didn't want to tell him about Light being Kira, about him admitting to being Kira. I also didn't know if I could tell him about the two of us. Though, Watari was so perceptive, it would be much harder to fool him than it had been for the other task force members.
I heard the door to our room open softly. There were no lights in the hallway so no additional light flooded into the dark room. I held my breath as I heard the soft click of the door's latch.
Watari walked over calmly to me. He was wearing his usual suit and tie. I still didn't know why he did that; those things were so uncomfortable.
"Thank you for coming, Watari," I said softly.
"Of course. What do you need, Ryuzaki?" Watari whispered.
I glanced over at Light-kun then instantly regretted it. I saw Watari's eyebrow twitch in inquiry.
"I'm worried about Light-kun," I said, looking at the ground instead of at Watari. I felt like a child admitting to having broken a vase.
Watari remained silent, letting me continue when I was ready. "I-I think the stress is getting to him. He's showing signs of… of suicidal tendencies." I held my breath, trying to force my thick and cumbersome tongue to articulate words. "He… he tried to kill himself a few days ago."
Watari nodded solemnly, "What can I do, Ryuzaki?"
"Can you make sure that there are no sharp blades anywhere that he could get to them on his own? I think I can handle him if I pay attention, but if he gets a knife when I'm not looking at him…"
"Yes. I will remove all blades from Light's accessible vicinity." Watari paused, as though he were debating whether or not to ask the question that was very clearly on his mind. "Yes, Watari? What is it?" I prompted.
"When was the last time you slept?" Watari asked plainly.
"It's that obvious?" I asked, playing with my lip as I did so.
"Yes," Watari said. "You know, I'm responsible for you too. You need sleep."
I knew from past experiences that Watari would not relent. He had only forced me to sleep once when I had stayed awake for over four days, 102 hours, but he would shut down my computer for a couple of hours.
I decided to relent, I was rather tired. I glanced over at Light, his forehead creased in worry. I wanted to lie down next to him, to hold him. But, I looked back at Watari and knew that I couldn't with him there. "Okay, thank you, Watari," I sighed, closing my computer and dowsing the room in a shadowy fog.
I turned around in my chair and laid my head on my arms on the back of the chair. I was facing away from Watari and was instead staring at Light-kun.
"Ryuzaki?" Watari asked.
I closed my eyes for a moment, wishing I could fall asleep quickly, but Watari knew me far too well.
"Ryuzaki?" Watari asked again. I turned my head over and looked at him. "Yes?" I asked. Even I could hear the annoyance in my monotone answer.
"You shouldn't sleep in the chair again," Watari told me.
"What?" I asked, extremely confused.
"You always sleep in your chair. I think you should sleep somewhere else."
"Where?" I asked waiting impatiently to see what he would say. I had to focus to breathe.
Watari looked pointedly at Light and then down at me. He raised an eyebrow ever so slightly and then turned away from me. "I'm going to take care of the knife situation. I expect you to be working no earlier than six."
In the past, I would have balked at the time he set for me and argued for four or five in the morning, or maybe even earlier, but this time, my mind was far too occupied by the implication he had made about Light and I.
I wanted to ask, but I didn't really want to know the answer.
Watari gave me one more look and then walked out of the room, closing the door silently behind him.
I stood up, the chain rattled softly in the silence of the room. I wondered if Watari knew about Light and I. He had to know based on how he was looking at us. Nonetheless, I crept over to the other side of Light's bed and gently crawled in. I rested my head on the pillow, staring at the back of Light's head. I wondered what he was dreaming about. I hoped that he would be able to sleep soundly for a night.
It was only a moment before the warmth of Light beside me lulled me into a restless sleep.
I woke up to the sound of Light whimpering at around four in the morning. I was immediately awake. I slowly stroked his shoulder trying to calm him down. The whimpering stopped after a moment. I thought Light had gone back to sleep until I saw his open carmel eyes staring forlornly down at the sheets of the bed.
"Light?" I whispered, "Did he come back?"
Light blinked slowly then gave me a nod so small I worried I had imagined it.
I wrapped my arm around him then, resting my head on on his shoulder, I held Light to me. "We'll figure a way out of this," I told him but I knew my voice was uncertain.
Light said nothing. We were trapped in a lasting silence that seemed stiff and like it clung to everything.
After a while, I thought Light had fallen asleep until I heard the soft breath of his voice, "What if… What if Kira comes back?"
"Then I will find Light Yagami," I replied.
"What if I— he— kills you?"
"Remember: you still don't know my name."
"Ryuzaki, you know how resourceful I am! I— Kira probably has a plan to kill you," Light had raised his voice so he was almost shouting.
"Then I would just have to work quickly to beat him. And save you."
"Nothing you do would help. He's insane," Light paused, his voice dropping back to a whisper, "I'm insane."
I wanted to deny it but I couldn't. I was still forced to suspect Light-kun even though I didn't want to. I was still asked to find Kira and send him to his death. And, though I didn't want to admit it, I was starting to wonder if Light could have schizophrenia. If Kira was in his head as an embodiment of his wrongdoings of the past. No, that wouldn't explain his being Kira before. Maybe Light has a split personality and defeated the Kira in his mind causing his personality to go all weird.
Even if he does have a split personality, I thought to myself, I can help him. He already fought Kira once, maybe he could fight him again.
I steeled myself and gripped Light-kun's shoulders. "Light-kun, I will NOT leave you. I will fight Kira with you but I refuse to let you suffer. So, are you with me? Will you fight Kira with me? Or will you give into depression?"
Light looked taken aback. He was quiet then, he wiped his eyes and nodded, speaking quietly. "Okay, I'll try. Ryuzaki, I don't want to lose you."
I wasn't used to this kind of attachment but I didn't want to ever lose Light. I welcomed the foreign feelings.
Tentatively, I leaned forward, wanting Light-kun to be close to me. I didn't want to let him go. I pressed my lips to his in a soft kiss.
I clutched Light to me as I kissed him. After a moment, I pulled back, "It's not me I'm worried about. I'm worried about losing you. You aren't allowed to get me to be attached to you only to then disappear and become Kira."
Light nodded and I accepted his answer with a soft kiss. I breathed into him, moving with him. His touch was soft and warm, but still distant.
I decided then that I would help Light-kun no matter what. Even if Kira took over, I wouldn't put him to death, I would fight until I found my Light-kun again.
~next morning~
I noticed Light-kun dragging as we looked for any evidence we could on Yotsuba. We were trying to get Misa to find out who the Kira was but that still involved a lot of waiting and searching for additional clues.
I saw Light's fingers hovering above the keys of the computer, his stare vacant and distant. "Light-kun, are you okay?"
It was unusual for his perfect facade to drop so suddenly and dramatically.
Light shook his head sharply and looked back to me, despair in his eyes. "Yes, Ryuzaki. I'm okay."
I glanced behind me. Everyone was out working on some task or another, save for Yagami-san. I played with my lip, wondering if I could get him to leave for a moment convincingly.
"Yagami-san?" I called out. He sat up sharply, his gaze piercing, "Yes, Ryuzaki?"
"Could you bring me and Light-kun some tea and the report Watari just printed?" I hesitated hoping he would believe my lie. I had sent a file to Watari and told him to print it, but I didn't know if Yagami-san would go collect it. Or if he would believe it was a real file.
"Of course, Ryuzaki," Yagami-san said and then he was gone.
I blinked. We were alone. Light and I were alone. It was that easy.
I stood and walked to Light's chair, then, without wasting a moment, I turned his chair around towards me and kissed him. He was clearly stunned; I felt his eyes open wide and his breath catch. It was so worth it though.
"No more acting depressed!" I ordered playfully but sternly.
Light opened his mouth as if to protest but then decided against it. He nodded solemnly knowing that I was right.
"You know I'm not good at comfort and affection but I will be here for you. I…" I wanted to say that I promised I would help him to be rid of Kira, but I could make no such promises and I knew that. "I will try to help in any and every way I can."
Light smiled sadly at me. He leaned forward and kissed me deeply. "Thank you, Ryuzaki, we also can't make this a habit."
"What?" I asked innocently.
"Giving the task forge menial tasks so we can talk to each other."
"I wanted to make sure you were okay," I told Light. "But, you are right." I sighed and kissed him one last time. "Okay we have to get back to work, now."
I sat back down at my seat right around the time that Yagami-san walked back in. I thanked him for the file and the tea as he walked back to his own papers of work. I smiled coyly at Light, happy to have gotten away with our much needed diversion.
Note: Please tell me what you guys think. I did this over a long period of time and while I was fairly tired so... I don't really know how it turned out relative to my other chapters. I will continue this sometime but I have a few other things that I'm working on first so it may be a couple weeks/months before I update. Y'know, juggling school and writing...
Tell me if you guys are enjoying this story! Next chapter... Kira gets his powers back! *dramatic music*
