Chapter 17: Fall
The rest of the trip went smoothly, without any further incidences and besides the bitter note, obviously caused by the little squirrel thief, everybody could relax and take some time off from their usual lives. The kids had fun playing the whole day at the stony beach of the nearby lake, Hakase could relax and Haibara was even considerate enough to soften his diet program a little for the duration of their stay. However, Ran got the feeling that the trip had the best effect on Conan, he seemed a lot less tense and even put some his worries aside for the moment, to concentrate on recovering his peace of mind. So, all in all one could call the trip a complete success, if not for the strange feeling Ran got after they came back.
It started only as a small pinching sensation in her chest, but she could feel it getting stronger as the day progressed and by the time she came home from school it had grown to hurt considerably. However, the pain would always decrease, when she was at home enjoying the time with Conan and her dad. The pain became especially strong when things didn't go according to what she had expected, once for example she had to stay longer after school, helping her classmates with some preparations, a task that she would normally not mind doing, but at this particular day it annoyed her to no end and it took a lot of willpower to not snap at anybody. At another day, they went to meet a client, which meant that her dad got a new case and Ran and Conan simply tagged along, finding themselves, like countless times before, between a dangerous killer and his victim. Thank to Ran's karate, they could take out the man without any injuries, aside from the ones the culprit received by Ran, who hadn't held herself back as strongly as usual. She didn't quite know what the man did, besides killing an innocent person and attacking them, that ticked her off that much, but fact was that she didn't only break his arm, but also cracked a few of his ribs.
"It's his fault anyways." Ran scoffed annoyed, "he shouldn't have threatened Conan-kun!"
Sitting alone on the coach, she had intended to watch TV like she usually did when neither Conan nor her Dad would come home, but today she just couldn't prevent herself from thinking back to the case and again and again the words of the man echoed in her head.
"You little brat, you better forget what you've just said, or you will see your big sister never again!" the man had said, only to receive a death glare from Conan, who stood protective in front of the women who was the man's target. "Oh, a stubborn one, are we?" the man continued to taunt Conan, "Fine, I would have shown mercy because you were a child, but now I will bind you to a tree, so you can listen and watch, when I take my sweet time with your sister.", he emphasized his words by licking over the knife he held, showing a mad grin and glaring in a very adultery way over at Ran. Conan, who obviously understand the meaning behind the man's word and actions growled a loud, "YOU BASTARD!" and when the man started to chuckle over the little boy, it was too much for Ran to take. Roaring like an angry bear, she charged at the man, kicking his hand with the knife away, smashing it into wall, not only getting rid of the knife, but judging by the cracking noise also fracturing his arm. Using the momentum of her kick, she landed a heavy punch with her flat hand at the man's solar plexus, forceful enough to send him flying back into the kitchen sink. The impact from that was apparently enough to knock the man out for the time being and Ran only realized exactly how dangerous her attack was for the attacker, when Conan inspected him and sighed a "he should survive this." The memory of his worried face was still so clear like everything just happened a minute ago, but what irritated her the most, when thinking back, was her reaction to this.
She was jealous!
She was jealous that Conan worried over the killer instead of her. Of course, every reason he had to worry over her paled next to the dangerous situation the murderer was in and even though he deserved not a single ounce of pity, he should not die. That was after all, what made the difference between a detective and a killer. The detective puts any judgment aside and leaves it to the law to sentence the person, while a killer takes matters in his own hand and decides what would happen to his victim.
"What have I done?", Ran asked herself, sensing something like a Déjà Vue.
How often has she asked herself this question in the last few weeks, how often did she lose her temper and did something she always came to regret?
Her mind started to work hard, pondering over the questions, searching for a possible solution, a cause for her behaviour and her mind always gave her the same answer.
"I'm losing control over my feelings?" she questioned loudly, her words echoing in the silent room, asking the question back.
"No…. No. NO! I can't afford to lose control.", she tried to say but her voice cracked and the words came out with a loud sob.
"No… no…" attempting to deny her realization she repeated those words like a chant. Again and again, concentrating on maintaining her mental barriers, reaching out to find a secure and steady grip.
But every word she uttered quickly faded away, barrier after barrier came crashing down and her hand sliped.
She fell, seeing in her fall how a massive wall of black came closer and closer, till she plunged into the endless ocean of negativity. Ran tried to hold her breath, keep the little flame of happiness alive, but quickly guilt, grief, jealousy and despair broke though, filled her lungs and intoxicated her mind. She could feel her limbs getting numb, could feel her head getting dizzy and slowly everything went dark.
As always all right go to Gosho Aoyama, the original creator of the Detective Conan Universe.
Questions and review are highly requested and if you want to know how the story continues leave a follow.
I hope you liked it so far and are thrilled for more.
Farewell
