Author's Note: I'm back with a new idea! And this one I managed to type down pretty quick. In the course of 3 or 4 days (not in a row, but still impressive for my writing record). This definitely seems like a "crack-fic" kinda chapter, but I think it makes for a good comedy piece. Instead of the usual comic book references and ribbings, I think Japanese anime/manga deserves some spotlight in this fic.
As for which particular anime/manga series I chose to reference here, I'll let you speculate until the end. I'll explain everything then, for those that prefer to try and guess and those that'd know what it is and don't need much of an explanation.
Disclaimer: Straight Outta Don't-Own-New-Jack-Shitty… What? Bad pun? Uhh, I think you get what I mean!
Chapter 11: Love Amity
The halfa's eyes opened to the sound of the alarm clock, seemingly the beginning of another normal day in the life of a teenaged superhero. However, as his half-awake brain gathered its wits, it processed one immediate observation. He hadn't set any alarm the night before…
Looking around, other things became apparent that something was quite off. For instance, while the room he was in did seem to have all the possessions he remembered having, the room itself was completely unfamiliar. And yet, the room looked like he'd been living there for years, slight dust on some of his shelves and space-related knick-knacks, a few items of clothes scattered about, a typical teenager's roost.
Having been laying down, he couldn't help but notice one definite sign that the room was totally lived-in. Near one corner of the ceiling was…. a hole? Covered up by something past it, the gap was big enough for a person to crawl through. Strange...
Speaking of strange, wasn't Ember with him when he went to sleep last night? Looking around, he couldn't find his mischievous lover anywhere. Perhaps she awoke first and went to scrounge for breakfast? Or maybe looking around this new place…
Before he could contemplate further, the sound of something sliding around above him could be heard, followed by a disgruntled but familiar voice. "Alright, dork, you up yet? We got business….to…. do?" the voice died in her throat as, oddly enough, Sam stuck her head through the hole and got a look at him.
Danny was in his boxers and nothing more. "Uhh, hey Sam… What's going on? What's this place? And why'd you call me a dork?" However, instead of good ol' reliable Sam providing answers or trying to be helpful like Danny was used to, the Goth scowled before her head disappeared back through the hole. He didn't have to wait too long for her to come back though, as her whole body suddenly came dropping through the gap, a combat boot landing squarely in his face, dropping the halfa in no time.
"First thing in the morning and you're already being a pervert! Who'd wanna see your damn boxers anyway?!" she yelled as she stood over the fallen teen, boot on his head. Backing off with a huff, she glared at the superhero as he pushed himself to his feet. "Now get some clothes on and get your breakfast. We got studying to do if we're going to actually pass this year…" she said before marching through the door.
Danny was stupefied. He knew he and Sam had their spats now and then, but to actually drop-kick him… He never seen that side of her before. "That… wasn't Sam… Alright, something's definitely wrong here. Studying? What, did Lancer fail us or something? And how am I a pervert?! Somebody tell her what kinda things Ember seduces me into doing?" he said aloud to himself as he pulled his usual outfit on. The thought of his blue-haired girlfriend made him feel a little better. He wondered if she was brought to this strange place too…
Leaving "his" room, he stepped into what looked to be a long corridor with a number of doors and a stairway at the end. He didn't get too much of a good look, however, as a kid-sized foot clocked him across the face out of nowhere, Danny crashing onto the floor as flashes of pain burst through his now-aching skull. Thinking that the Pseudo-Sam had come back, he glared at his attacker, only to find another familiar (but not normal) face. "Dani? Why'd you kick me? It's bad enough Sam did that! Ow… Never thought I'd be fighting my friends…"
Dani had what seemed to be a permanent grin on her face as she bounced around in her attire of nothing but a t-shirt and shorts. Strangely, her skin seemed tan. Did she come back from a long stay at a beach or something? "Aw, you know I always do that to you, Dan-Dan! You're my play toy, remember?" she said in a very hyperactive tone as she then leaped over and landed on the risen Fenton, shambling on him like a monkey on a tree until she was comfortably clinging to his back and shoulders like a human backpack. 'Dan-Dan?' thought Danny, the little clone having never called him that in her entire existence… She never attacked him to say hello either, unless he counted the very brief time she worked for Vlad when she was created.
Hoping that this'll be the last of the random attacks, Danny shrugged and started toward where he hoped was the kitchen, not minding Dani's arms and legs currently squeezing his chest and torso. After getting misplaced a few times in this surprisingly huge home (much to the giggly delight of the hyper clone, who teased him and mentioned something about a GPS system she had apparently invented), he finally found a sizable room with all the appearance of a dining room. He was dismayed to find Pseudo-Sam sitting at the table, glaring at him for reasons still unknown to him.
Suddenly, that glare shifted to a smirk. He'd seen that smirk on the real Sam before, usually when the Trio are playing video games together and she notices somebody about to get stealth-attacked by one of her team. Before he could wonder what her problem was, he suddenly had a long blade hovering near his throat.
"Fenton…. Put Dani down or the throat gets it."
Danny almost had to double-check that he hadn't accidentally morphed into Phantom or something as, indeed, Valerie was the one threatening him. Then he remembered that Val made peace with his superhero identity. Even so, he still seemed used to his former crush snarling at him. Some things die hard, after all.
What really threw him off was Valerie's appearance as she circled around him to face him, the tip of her katana sword relentlessly pointed at his throat. Her hair was done up into a long ponytail and her outfit was a sort of martial arts gi, ironically red.
"V-V-Valerie? C'mon, there's no need for that. It's just me. Danny." he nervously stammered. As unreal as this strange reality was, there was no doubt that the sword was all too real.
"I see that. Put. Her. Down!" Danny recognized that familiar fire in Valerie's narrowed eyes, the same fire from her dedication to her vigilante work. At this point, Dani giggled. "Aw, c'mon, Vally. He's nice to hold! Don't you wanna hold him too?"
"NO!" She said, lowering the sword to her side as her annoyance got to her. Her tone, however, was just as sharp and cold as her steel. Anybody with common sense would know to drop the subject. However, the new Dani seemed to lack that… "Of course you do, Vally! Here!" she said before dropping off of Danny and shoving him toward Valerie, causing him to stagger forward and flail his arms to try and regain balance, inconveniently forgetting that he could just hover.
Combining her rage and her hair-trigger instincts, Valerie prepares and swings her sword at the incoming stumbling halfa. "Shinmei Ryu! Stone Cutting Technique!"
The day was peaceful, the sky a clear blue with a few fluffy clouds to accentuate the peaceful morning. Well, it was peaceful until a body crashed through a roof, screaming, and headed skyward. Moments later, after a brief flash of light that nobody saw due to his altitude, Danny Phantom stopped the impromptu flight and hovered, clutching his bleeding chest wound. Not only did the ghost hunter (and now a samurai, apparently) manage to cut him, but her attack was powerful enough to send him crashing through multiple floors and keep going, like being punched by The Hulk!
Just what kinda crazy world did he land in?!
After taking a couple of minutes to fly back down to earth to determine which house he burst out of, Danny noticed that he didn't seem to even be in Amity Park. If anything, the cityscape he came down too looks more like a Japanese city. "Huh… Well, that might explain Valerie getting all 'Samurai Jack' on me. Still doesn't explain anything important, though…" It took another couple of minutes to track down the hole he had created out of a rooftop.
He soon spotted it after hovering around a bit. And, after getting a good look at the building itself, what a home! It wasn't some mismatched version of Fenton Works, it was practically a mansion that outdid Sam's place! He noticed that it even had a fairly sizable open-air hot springs bath! It turned out to be a good thing that he spotted the hole though, because the hole was currently being steadily repaired by what looked like a human-sized mechanical turtle. The strange Pseudo-Dani was standing near it, the apparent operator of the mecha judging from the video game-like controller in her hands. Danny hovered down, a stern look on his face.
"The hell's up with you shoving me at Valerie like that? You knew she seemed pretty mad." he said, surprising the young, tan mini-Phantom. Managing to catch the slipped controller before it hit the ground, Dani chuckled.
"Aw, poor Dan-Dan… I thought she was calmer today. I mean, it's not the first time you were sent flying. Still funny! But kinda sad too, because you're not a bad guy. But not really sad, since you got that whole immortality superpower dealy going…. Every time Sam or Val or I push ya around, ya just keep coming back, all better!"
'The hell is this world…?' he thought before replying. "Yeah, well, superpowers don't always give others the right to pummel the one with the powers. Sigh… So… Who bought this strange machine?"
"I made it, silly. Remember? You really got hit hard, huh? Forgot that I'm the genius inventor in this dorm." Dani said, giggling as she maneuvered the mech's robotic appendages as it finished repairing the roof.
"Inventor…?" mumbled the halfa, causing her to giggle again. 'The rules didn't just get changed, they got rewritten! Perhaps I should just try to play along…' he silently concluded. "Uhh, yeah! I remember! All sorts of machines and stuff. Sure! Uhh… I'll just zip on downstairs and get some breakfast before it's gone."
"Good idea, Dan-Dan. Kitty-chan's been wondering where you went and, of course, Sam and Valerie aren't going to be helpful since they're still mad at ya. Might wanna make an appearance before she gets upset again.
'Wait, hold it…. KITTY?'
After his chat with Dani, the displaced superhero phased down through the building and across many rooms until he finally found the dining room. Sam and Valerie were almost finished with their meals, disgruntled looks on both their faces. Just as he set his feet on the ground again, a short girl appeared from the doorway that must lead to the kitchen, a couple of plates of food in her hands. Familiar and yet not so familiar, Dani was right. It was indeed Johnny 13's biker babe. However….
This Kitty seemed to only be 12 years old, judging from the shortened height, her face looking more childlike as opposed to the womanly face he known, and the obvious lack of 'assets'. Another thing Danny had to note (and wish he had his camera phone with him for to tease the real Kitty with later) was the adorable outfit she was wearing, consisting of a simple 'Hello Kitty' dress, cute girly sneakers, and an apron. Kitty noticed Danny's presence and smiled sweetly. "Ah, Danny-Sempai… G-good morning!" she stammered, a little blush coloring her cheeks.
Again, the halfa was thrown for a loop. 'Play along, old boy. You ask questions about the world you know, it'll just get awkward. And sempai? Hmm… Oh, yeah… That Japanese term showing respect for an older student, right? This is getting weird…' With that, he managed to barely keep a straight face. "Morning, Kitty. What's for breakfast?"
"Oh, just standard pancakes and hash browns, Sempai… I made them for you. Please enjoy." She said, sounding even more shy and awkward, definitely not the Kitty the halfa had known for years. Kitty with manners? Ha! The younger Kitty placed his food on an empty space at the table before taking her food and sitting down, her spot being close to his. Danny sat down and began to eat, more than a little aware of the two hateful glares from the pseudo Sam and Valerie.
"Umm… Has anyone seen Ember yet this morning? Her breakfast is getting cold." Kitty asked, concerned. She was met with an amused huff from Sam. "Where else? Probably passed out in her room again after another night of the usual."
"Disgraceful. Again I fail to understand why she chooses to waste her life like this." Valerie said in a calm and even, if disappointed, tone. This got Danny's immediate attention. His girlfriend is here too? Or, as his mind was quick to point out, is it merely a version of her from this reality? Either way, he didn't exactly appreciate how they were talking about her.
"Uhh, what'd she do?" Danny asked, trying to hide his curiosity. He must have failed, since he ended up with two girls glaring at him as if he'd grown two heads (and pissed them off). "What do you mean 'what'd she do', perv boy? She does this crap every day!" Sam snapped.
"Does what crap every day, Sam?" a new voice replied. Looking over to the stairway, the gathered group saw a blue haired beauty, leaning against the railing as she stumbled down and looking a little flushed. Her hair, while still made of blue fire, wasn't in the blazing ponytail Danny was intimately familiar with seeing. Instead, she had it in a short hairstyle that screamed 'tomboy'. Her outfit was also quite unlike the normal Ember, consisting of sweatpants and an old t-shirt, perfect for spending an entire day lounging around.
"You know perfectly well, Ember. I would be very surprised if your head isn't reminding you right now with that hangover you're no doubt having." Valerie pointed out before muttering something about women with no honor. Ember merely chuckled as she stepped off the stairs. "Aw, Kendo Girl, you had to go and remind me of that. I was tryin' to remember the drinkin' while forgettin' about the bad luck at gamblin'."
Drinking? Gambling? This didn't sound like the normal Ember at all. Then again, who around here was normal? The halfa's musing was interrupted by a pair of arms wrapping around him and two very noticeable and prominent feminine parts squishing against his back. "Besides, I'm sure Mr. Landlord here doesn't mind my habits one bit. Do you, Baby-Pop?" Okay, there was ONE thing about this Ember that was normal! Unfortunately, some of the others weren't so enthused.
"Stop enjoying yourself, you sick freak!" Sam demanded, rising to her feet. Valerie arose as well, katana drawn. Danny panicked again as Ember giggled in amusement.
"Wait, wait, wait! It's just a hug! What's got you two so angry anyway?" Danny asked, praying that reasoning would actually win out. To his dismay, logic and reason were left in the normal Amity Park….
"You, touching a woman! That's what! You have no right to even be in the presence of woman, typical male pig!" Valerie declared, sword pointed at him. 'Yikes! I'm sure the Feminists would be glad to have this Valerie as a member!' the halfa thought sardonically as the dark-skinned Samurai demanded that Ember step aside so that she could attack. Danny noticed Sam storming her way around the table, clearly intending to separate the two the hard way. 'Oh, screw this!' he thought as he went intangible and flew through the walls, away from the two beings that were nothing like his actual friends. "Jeez, what kinda crazy place is this anyway?!"
"Darlin', you really must've hit your head hard or somethin'. Don'cha remember? This is Amity House, the all-girls dorm you manage." Ember said, Danny now realizing that this Ember's voice had a bit of a Southern accent for some reason. But that little note (and the fact that he took off without realizing she was still hugging him) was microscopic in comparison to her revelation. "Whoa, hold up! WHAT? How can a guy be a landlord of an all-girls dorm? Wouldn't people be concerned about the guy bein-"
"A perv, sugah? Ha. Sam and Val surely got that concern covered. A little too covered, if y'all ask me. But luckily for you, your powers seem to be an adequate defense against their little tantrums. Well… maybe not directly. You still get sent skyward almost every day, but somehow, ya come back almost all better! Probably from fightin' all those pesky ghost enemies, huh? Oh, don't tell me you forgot everything. I'm sure ol' Skulker would have a field day thinking you forgot all his weaknesses…"
"Annnd why would Sam and Valerie treat me like my enemies do…?" Danny asked, not sure if he would like the answer.
"Well, from what I could tell, you're just clumsy, sugah. One time, you'd be tryin' to clean your side of the hot springs bath and you'd trip over something and crash through the barrier and get a good view of our 'twins'. Or maybe just turnin' a corner and you end up bumpin' into one of them and they thought you copped a feel. One time, they even thought you said a double-pun. Hoo boy, I think you managed to hit an airplane from that one…"
At this point, Danny had managed to fly outside the Amity House and was just hovering around the surrounding land. 'Just keep playing along. That's the key. Keep going until you wake up or something.' he mentally told himself, growing concerned about the fact that he had apparently landed in a world where his life was an ironic comedic gag. He was surrounded by women, but they either were crazy or wanted his ass beat!
He began to notice that the two had company in their flight. It seemed to be a small flying… turtle? "Oh, hey, Cujo-chan…" Ember said, seeing the little turtle. Danny's eyes bulged. Now a ghost dog was a turtle… Juuuust great.
"SUPER-PERVERT, PREPARE TO DIE!"
"Get off of her, idiot!"
Perhaps it would've been a better idea to fly a little higher. Nonetheless, Danny was skilled enough to evade the leaping attacks of Sam and Valerie who had jumped from a nearby window to get at him. Fortunately for the two angry girls, it was only the second floor window. Unfortunately for Danny, it wasn't the last attack. The sound of rocket thrusters and Dani's giggling could be heard approaching…
"Oooh! We're playing target practice! Mecha-Cujo, attack! Wheeeee!"
He sped up, making sure Ember was holding on tight. If anybody had told him that he would have to escape the wrath of a formidable turtle robot with lasers and rockets, he'd have at least called it unlikely considering the amount of crazy his cabal of known rivals and criminals had. But here we are. Giant turtle robot, as well as psychotic versions of his dearest friends.
"Dammit, Leonardo! I'm not Shredder!" Danny yelled as he avoided another rocket by ducking around a corner of the building and kept going. Ember snickered, the ride surprisingly not negatively affecting her hangover.
"Now that's a good one, Baby-Pop. Hey, wanna throw a pizza at it?" she asked, the familiar tone of mischief evident.
"Knowing my luck today, Dani would just snatch it outta midair and eat it whole."
"Not before spicin' it up with her damn curry." the not-exactly-a-pop-star added in a snide manner. Then she looked forward. "Uhh… Sugah?"
"Yeah?" Danny said, trying to keep an eye on the turtle bot so he could predict its attacks and dodge accordingly.
"Incoming van!"
"Incoming wha?" As Ember said, a nondescript van seemed to be heading right for them. The odd thing about it was that the van was flying as though it was tossed like a football. Turning himself and Ember intangible, the van crashed right where they were, tumbling about a bit. This event was enough to thankfully stop the chase as Dani and the others were curious to see why a van would randomly crash at Amity House (as if that was the strangest event the dorm residents have seen… but that's another story).
Danny stopped his flight and turned around, keeping a distance just in case Pseudo-Sam and Pseudo-Val decide to chase him again. "Figured it was a matter of time before he'd show up again?" Ember said, smirking.
"He? He who?"
"Dipstick, you must have amnesia or somethin'. Ain't nobody else that parks a van by crashing it every time…"
Even from Danny's distance, he could see a door of the overturned van suddenly get kicked open. A figure climbed out and landed on the ground clumsily. Then he stood up.
Danny hovered closer. No way. There was just no way. There, dressed in a suit and not at all concerned that he had just wrecked his vehicle….was Clockwork? Sure, he looked human, but Danny recognized his face well enough.
"Time Out!"
Instantly, everything froze. Yep. Definitely the real Master of Time. "Hello, Apprentice. Strange world we live in, wouldn't you say?"
"You can say that again! I've been getting my ass kicked since I woke up in this twisted place!" Danny said, understandably annoyed.
"Well, there's a simple explanation for this whole mess." he said before trailing off.
"And that is?" Danny asked, noticing that even the hugging Pseudo-Ember was frozen in time, making it look like Danny's hauling a statue or a mannequin.
"Don't you just WISH that you knew?" Clockwork simply said with an amused smirk on his face. Danny's eyes narrowed considerably. "Desiree…" the teen immediately growled. The genie being friends with Ember made it easier for Danny to convince her not to give his hometown as much grief as she usually did. Nonetheless, she never did agree to completely stopping it, still giving Amity citizens corrupt wishes every once in a blue moon…
"Indeed. This world does seem to fit the dear woman's M.O., as you'd put it, doesn't it? Male superhero gets disposed of by not only women, but his female friends. At least the Ember and Kitty of this world are more benign than the others." The Master of Time then turned to the overturned van and gave it a couple of kicks, an odd sight in itself to see since Clockwork usually floats. One of the doors on the back of the van flopped open and out rolled the aforementioned genie.
"How'd you catch her anyway?" Danny asked as Desiree hovered off the ground, dusting herself off. Clockwork raised an eyebrow, as if that explained everything. Danny knew that Clockwork must have had an adventure of his own in this situation, adjusting to his sudden role of a human form and tracking down the rogue genie. But all the wise ghost said was "I can see all, remember.".
"Right, right… See all, know all, that sorta thing…" Danny grumbled. It had been a long morning, after all. He turned his attention to Desiree. "First thing's first, who wished for what?" At this, the genie grew nervous, despite her annoyance at being caught.
"Ah… I don't think you'd appreciate the answer, child. Even if I did want to tell you." The genie glowered at him, her usually beautiful face contorted into a foul look of anger. "Just… Just wish your way home and let's be done with this."
Danny hovered back a little. "Whoa, alright… Sorry. Being put in a totally mixed up reality while I'm sleeping kinda puts me a little on edge. Hmm… I wish I was back to where I belong… with NO tricks, NO twisting of my words, or anything else you usually tend to do with your ability!" he quickly amended, in case Desiree was mad enough to try something, despite his connection to her fiery friend.
"Sigh… So you have wished it, so it shall be."
The next thing Danny knew, he was sitting in the bed he often shared with Ember in her realm. He looked around. Just Ember's room, the exact way he remembered seeing it when he went to sleep. Sitting up next to him was a dazed Ember, rubbing her eyes.
"Em? You ok?" he asked, a part of him dreading that Desiree might have tried to double-cross his wish somehow anyway. "Yeah, Baby-Pop. Just had a wild dream. Strange, though… I don't remember falling asleep."
"You don't?"
"No. You had gone to bed early after we had that fight with SkulkTech and I decided to have some girl talk with Desiree… We…. Uh oh…"
"Uh oh?" Danny asked suspiciously, having a sudden feeling where this might be going.
Ember's face slowly changed from pale to red. "What uh-oh?" Danny persisted. Ember's lips became a thin line, as if she was forcing her mouth to stay shut out of embarrassment. He seemed to have his answer.
"You made a wish. Alright. That's fine. Mistakes happen… What happened was… kinda crazy. But everything's fine now, right?" Danny asked, putting an arm around her and gently pulling her in for a cuddle. Ember nodded. "Mmm…. So what was it anyway?" the halfa curiously asked as he felt his lover shift her body so that she was pressed up against him.
"Umm… Well, we got to talking about you and… I jokingly wished that I could see what happened if you were a ladies man…"
Danny went silent. He looked at her, wondering why the territorial rock diva would be curious about if her boyfriend somehow became a chick magnet. Then, the warped reality suddenly made sense. He laughed. "Aw, man. That totally explains everything! I bet Tucker would still be jealous, despite what Desiree twisted the wish into!" he said, amused. Ember scowled, thinking that Danny was laughing at her.
"Laugh it up, Dipstick…" she grumbled, resisting the urge to slap him upside the head in favor of using him as a pillow. She could just simply withhold affection from him instead if he gets any ideas. "So, what happened anyway. When Des hit her wish, everything went dark until I woke up in bed with you."
"You don't remember? You made the wish and you didn't even see the result? Now that's ironically rude of her, wouldn't you say?" the halfa wondered. Then again, the wish did distort reality itself temporarily. Who knows what the rules are once you totally change existence itself…
"Meh, might be Desiree's way of double-crossing me on my wish. Although… I can't place my finger on it, but some things do come to mind…" she said.
"Like what?"
"Well… I suddenly know what it's like to have a hangover… I really don't feel like doing ANYTHING today… and I suddenly wanna call you 'Sugah'. Jeez, did I become some Southern drunk or something?"
"Er… In a way…" Danny snickered. Then, suddenly, his eyes bulged as if he just thought of something. 'If that other Ember's tendencies are bleeding over… then that means…'
"Em? If Sam, Valerie, or Dani come knocking…. I'm not home!"
Author's Note: Another chappy successfully written. Alright, alright, I think I owe at least some of you fans an explanation for the Desiree-induced insanity. So I'll explain. The anime/manga I was parodying here is a harem anime called Love Hina, the story of a bumbling, klutzy college-age guy that ends up being the manager of an all-girls dormitory involving 5 (sometimes 6) women, each having their own brand of issues and quirks (like most women of the harem anime genre). Of course, romance and hilarity ensue.
To explain further, here is a list of characters I had the DP cast parody (and semi-brief descriptions):
Danny Phantom as… Keitaro Urashima = The (un)lucky manager of the dorm of babes. His dreams of entering a prestigious college in Tokyo are often opposed by his own lack of smarts. As if that weren't enough, his extreme klutziness ends up earning the wrathful ire of the more temperamental tenants (as well as some good views of unclothed women). Despite this, known to have a heart of gold (again, like most main guy characters of harem anime). An odd quirk about the character (in the sense that it's actually pointed out by the characters sometimes) is the fact that he seems to be able to get beat up and sent flying across the sky, only to come back less injured than he should be.
Sam Manson as… Naru Narusegawa = A nice girl if you manage to stay on her good side. However, as Keitaro found out the hard way, she has a zero tolerance policy when it comes to men being pigs. As Keitaro's klutziness usually ends with him getting an accidental view of one or more of the tenants, she quickly grew a grudge against him (along with feelings for him), usually resulting in her uppercutting or super-kicking the poor lug into the sky. Also college-bound.
Valerie Gray as… Motoko Aoyama = The dorm's resident samurai-in-training. Driven by honor and tradition, but has a nearly-insane hatred of men for reasons initially unknown, thus her adding to the beatings on the unfortunate landlord whenever she catches him getting a good unintentional peek. Obviously resorts to sword-based attacks. I figured Valerie might fit that role perfectly, considering the usual feud between Phantom and Red Huntress (and despite the feud being put to rest in my story's continuity).
Dani Phantom as… Kaolla Su = Fitting the "crazed foreign girl" trope rather well, Su is a tan-skinned younger girl with a penchant for inventing strange (mostly turtle-inspired) machines with her unnatural genius intellect, eating extremely spicy food, and being generally hyperactive to the point where dropkicking people's just her way of saying 'Hi!'. She likes Keitaro well enough, but won't hesitate to use him to test machines and weapons on anyway. Oddly enough, usually oblivious to the antics when she's the one getting inadvertently peeped at (probably due to said hyperactivity).
Kitty as… Shinobu Maehara = The other "child" of the group (being only 13). Ridiculously shy and known for her massive crush on the older landlord. Resident chef. Sadly, her embarrassment around him is often mistaken by Motoko and Naru for him "making her cry", causing more comedic assaults. I figured I'd go with the ironic factor by having DP's resident biker babe be "the shy one".
Ember McLain as… Mitsune "Kitsune" Konno = Drunk. Gambler. Slacker. Shameless well-endowed flirt. Unfortunate instigator of at least a third of the harm brought upon Keitaro when she comes onto him and the others go all "WTF" like usual. Perfect for Ember! To explain the accent I gave Ember here: In the US version of the anime, Kitsune's depicted as having a Southern Belle accent because in the original Japanese version, she's depicted as talking in a different regional Japanese accent (like how some New Yorkers have a "Brooklyn accent").
Cujo as… Tama-chan = The dorm's pet flying turtle. Threw him in as an oddball cameo.
Clockwork as… Seta = Not gonna say a lot because it was a minor appearance here, but Seta's a recurring character as the series goes on and is well-known for being such a crappy driver of his van that launching it into the air and crashing it is just "his way of parking". Can't have a Love Hina parody without at least one van crash!
With that said… Reader Review Replies!
Invader Johnny – All good girlfriends always have dirt on their lovers. Lol.
AdolescentPrimordial – Well, I certainly hope THIS chapter satisfied your desire for a Non-DC chapter of this series. Damn lucky this plot idea came to me outta nowhere. Still, your concern is a valid one. In any case, I'm glad you're enjoying my work nonetheless.
Stormy Vixen – Thanks for the lovely words. I noticed that cliché too about anti-D/S fics. I like both D/S and D/E, so I saw no point in Sam-bashing in this fic. I hope you enjoyed my selection for Sam's new lover. In a way, she still gets him. But just his clone.
Heartless Demon Wolf – This chapter may be a crack-idea, but I hope it manages to maintain the level of funny. Thanks for the support!
More will come as soon as I can think of more ideas. I might focus on my other couple of ongoing fics. Who knows with a brain like mine… In any case, please review!
