A big thanks to Liz for being my beta :)
"Are you sure about this, Annie?" My Dad asks me and I sigh. He does not want me to move to Canada.
"Dad, I'm just going for a visit, so CJ can meet with his other family. I haven't made up my mind about moving to Canada, it's too early to decide something like that." I tell him. And it's true, I still haven't made up my mind. I thought with finding Christian everything would fall into place... and never even thought about the fact that the man I find might be very different from the boy I knew. I just can't get over the fact that Christian dismissed Elliot as if he was a stranger to him and didn't even want to wait for Mia to arrive.
I understand that he has siblings who are related to him by blood but that doesn't mean that Elliot and Mia are any less of siblings to him. He grew up with them for pity's sake. The boy I knew would never treat them so poorly.
"You love the boy... I know you will stay." My Dad says and it's true I did love the boy Christian once was... if I love the man he is now is yet to be seen.
Still, I say goodbye to my Dad, promise to call him at least once a day. I follow Christian and his Dad, Jason, to the security area of the airport with CJ snuggled up and fast asleep in my arms.
CJ was so excited to go to Canada today that it was impossible to get him to sleep last night, so now he is tired and will probably miss the plane ride completely.
When we checked in, I see Christian's ID saying that his name is now Christian Taylor. I wonder what kind of trouble he will get into once he has to admit that his new identity is fake. Though, I suspect that my Dad and Jason have their own ways to make any kind of trouble go away.
Speaking of trouble, Elena Grey had to be released from police custody for the time being since she wasn't aware of what her husband had done and even the circumstances of Christian's adoption weren't enough to keep her in police custody. So, I'm actually relieved to be able to get the hell away from Bellevue, especially since I don't want her to get anywhere close to CJ.
While we are waiting to board, Christian excuses himself to use the restroom which leaves me with his Dad who still seems to be pissed at me, so I decided to tackle that first.
"Why are you pissed at me, Mr. Taylor?"
"Told you, it's Jason... and I'm pissed as you put it because you have not just put yourself at risk but also my son and you didn't even think of your son when you did all of that." He says and I glare at him.
"Well, excuse me, but had someone bothered to tell me what happened I would have never had to come back and look for answers myself. My son has a right to know what happened to his father." I snap back.
"It was for the best interest of everyone that no one knew where Christian was." Jason insisted.
"Really?! The sixteen-year-old girl that I was back then... alone and pregnant ... would certainly disagree!"
"You had your family," he says.
"Yes, but what I needed was Christian, he was my best friend, I was in love with him and pregnant with his child, all the while I had to deal with the fact that I had no idea what happened to him... you might think you've done the best you could, but in reality, you only did what was best for you and your wife!"
"I kept him safe, Ana."
"It took me two weeks to figure everything out, you would have needed less time to get Carrick Grey and his wife behind bars, but you never even tried... because of what you have done, my son was without a father. So, if anyone has a right to be pissed it's me and I choose not to be... that's why I would appreciate it if you could spare me all those angry looks of yours, Mr. Taylor." I hiss.
"You are certainly not afraid to speak your mind... and I admit that my concern was aimed towards my wife and no one else, so I can't say I'm sorry, but I do understand your reasoning." He says as if that was some sort of huge admission for him. I don't say anything because Christian is walking back towards us and I don't want him to know about the resentment I have towards his stepfather... or my Dad for that matter.
"My mom just texted me... she may have gone a little overboard and has set up a room for CJ at my apartment." He says and shows me a picture of a sports-themed bedroom for little boys.
"Wait... how did she do that? She only found out about CJ last night." I say in surprise and he laughs.
"Oh, believe me, if my mom puts her mind to something it's done with a blink of an eye." He says proudly and I can see the happiness in his eyes whenever he talks about his mom, so I make a vow to myself to be more open to meeting her and to give both his parents a real chance, after all, they are my son's grandparents, so no matter what happens between Christian and I, they will always be a huge part of CJ's life and I want that for him.
After only an hour we arrive at the airport in Vancouver, BC. Jason drives us to their home which takes almost an hour because according to Christian they live a little outside of the city.
When we arrive at their home I'm a little overwhelmed because it's not just a very beautiful mansion surrounded by open land and woods, but it's also huge.
"Come, my mom and my siblings are probably already waiting for us." Christian says and wraps an arm around me after I have CJ in my arms again, who just woke up and is a little grumpy.
We walk towards the house and as soon as the door is open Grace Taylor comes running into the entrance hall and hugs Christian.
"Don't you ever scare me like that again, young man." She scolds him but I can tell that she is smiling and just happy to have her son back in one piece.
"Mom, please, I'm fine. Besides, I couldn't risk that something would happen to Ana." Christian says and his mom turns to look at me. Just like her sister, Grace Taylor is a very beautiful blonde, though she has warm brown eyes and is more petite than her sister.
"So, you are the Ana my son has been telling me about for years now... and this is my grandson?"
"It's good to meet you, Mrs. Taylor and yes, this is CJ... sweetheart say hi." I tell him but he is still sleepy and has his face hidden against my shoulder.
"I'm sorry, he was so excited about coming here last night that he couldn't sleep and now he is a bit grumpy." I say as an apology when CJ ignores her.
"Oh that's alright, we'll have so much time to get to know each other. Now, come Christian, your son is tired, time to show him his room so he can rest a little." His mom says and I follow them through the house, all the way to the back of the house where we walk through a door along another small hallway and through another door where I find myself in an open living space with a kitchen and living room, one side of the wall has french windows that open out onto a patio. Everything is kept in light colors and seems to be more of a female living space, so it isn't until Christian asks me if I like it here that I realize that this is his place.
"Yes, I like it."
"Great... come, we can put CJ down for a nap, then I'll show you our bedroom." He says and I try not to show any reaction but his mom beats me to it.
"I've set up the other bedroom for Ana."
"Mom.."
"It's ok, Christian... after all, you owe me at least three dates before there will be any bedroom sharing." I tell him with a raised brow and try to keep my tone teasingly but honestly, I'm not sure I want to share a bedroom with him just yet.
"Ok, dinner tonight, breakfast, and lunch tomorrow, so by dinner you sleep in my room." He smirks and that makes me laugh.
After CJ is down to nap a little longer, Christian shows me the other bedroom and leave to talk to his parents. I unpack my bag, take a quick shower, and change into a tank top, jeans shorts, and flip-flops. Since Christian isn't back yet, I get myself a glass of water and sit down on the sofa to try and think everything through.
I know I should call my Dad to let him know that we've arrived safely, but I'm still so hurt over what he has done and kept from me that I decide he can wait. I wish I knew where to go from here. This is what I always wanted, why I came back to Bellevue. But the reality is that I never thought about what would happen once I found Christian. Maybe I hoped things would just magically go back to normal, as if the last six years never happened.
Only they didn't. What I've found out was way worse than I could have ever imagined. I just wish that I could feel the same as Christian. To him, it seems to be so clear that we belong together that nothing has changed, but maybe I just need a few days to deal with everything that has happened and I will feel the same.
"Still overthinking things, Ana?" I hear Christian behind me and look up.
"Why change the habit of a lifetime?" I ask with a smile and he sits down next to me.
"What is going on, Ana?" He asks me and takes my hands in his and there is... nothing. I remember back when I was a teenager even the slightest touch made me tingle all over and now it's not there anymore.
"I don't know." I answer truthfully... I feel so numb.
"Ok, then let's talk... tell me about your time in college?"
"I graduated with a degree in Literature and worked part-time in a children's bookstore, so I was allowed to bring CJ with me. My parents didn't want me to work but I wanted to work and with them being all the way back in Bellevue they couldn't do much about it. While I had classes, CJ was at the daycare center...then kindergarten later on."
"You said you haven't had a boyfriend... so you didn't date at all?" He asks.
"Siobhan set me up on a few dates. I went on a few dates with one of the guys but CJ didn't like him so I never saw him again."
"Remind me to thank our son for that." He says and I giggle.
"What about you?"
"At first, I wanted to spend all my time with my family and then had to focus on college to get a degree, so I never had time to date." He says. I want to ask if that means he hasn't been with anyone since that night at the lake but for some reason, it feels wrong to ask.
"Now, why don't we get this over with... so, why are you mad at me." He asks with a smile and I blink.
"Mad?"
"Yes, you are mad at me, it's in the way you look at me and shut me out... you've always done this, so let it out." He says and I think about it for a moment until I realize he is right, I am mad.
"Why did you break into my house?"
"I needed to put the necklace somewhere you'd find it, so you would find my message." He says and I get up.
"Are you insane? I had a gun... I could have shot you! And why would you put a message in that darn treehouse which in turn would force me to sneak into the Grey's backyard?" I snap, this is insane.
"I didn't know how else to contact you..." He says and I gasp.
"How about just put the message in my house while breaking in... or calling me... write me an e-mail... a letter... hell a fucking postcard!" I yell at him.
"I don't know... I wasn't thinking clearly... please don't be mad at me..."
"Do not give me that lost puppy look, Christian! It's not working, you put yourself at risk... you put me at risk because if it wasn't for that message Carrick would have never kidnapped me with the intent to kill me... and what about the six years before that... you could have found a way to let me know you are alright. Do you even know what it's like to live like that... not a day passed by where I didn't think of all kinds of horrible scenarios that could have happened that night... do you know that I blamed myself for what happened, because I always thought that if I hadn't said something we would have just stayed at the lake all night...?" I start to ramble and didn't even notice that I am crying until Christian gets up to hug me.
"I'm sorry, Ana... I'm so, so, sorry... but please don't shut me out. I've missed you for so long I can't stand that you are shutting me out... just let me in and I'll make it better." He begs and I just hold on to him. This has all just been too much to handle for me, but maybe a good cry is all I need to feel a little bit more like myself again...
