Just to answer one question that I have seen a lot in the reviews, no, Christian is not going to end up with with Kate...
"I hope this doesn't turn into a disaster." I mutter while I'm in the kitchen with Elliot cutting some veggies for dinner.
"Worst case scenario, he acts like an ass and I will kick his ass." Elliot shrugs and I frown.
"Don't you want to be back in touch with him, El?"
"No, the day I had to sit in a hospital waiting room, waiting to here if my sister was still alive or not was the day I gave up on him. He knew how sensitive Mia is, all he had to do was say, Mia right now I don't have space for you in my life and I'm sorry about that but you'll always be my sister, and she would have understood, but he had to treat her like dirt and on top of everything we already had to go through. Not saying he didn't have to go through hell and back, but still, he handled this all wrong. He made the choice we are not his siblings and by now I can live with it." He says but I can tell he is not completely over it.
"It's OK to still love him, you know?"
"Maybe... do you?"
"What?"
"Still love him?" He asks and that question startles me for a moment.
"He was my best friend for many years, and he is the father of my son. As such, he will always be special to me, but you are the only person I am in love with." I finally reply and kiss him.
"I always thought the day he returns is the day I have to let you go." He says quietly.
"Why? I'm not in love with him Elliot and I wouldn't have started dating you if it wasn't for the fact that I felt ready to open my heart to someone else. Everything else would have been so unfair..."
"OK, I get it, I guess it's just that even I always saw you growing old with him and I don't ever want to stay in your way, you are not just the woman I'm in love with, you are also my best friend, Ana."
"I know... please don't worry about our relationship Elliot. I love you and I'm so very happy with you... there is nothing that can change that." I reassure him, and so we finish preparing the food and then wait for our guests to arrive. Mia, Andrew and Kate arrive right on time, but Christian doesn't and finally at 7:30 pm we decide not to wait any longer and start with dinner. But just as we have started to put everything on the table the doorbell rings.
"I'll get it." Elliot says, and we all just look at each other not sure what to make out of this situation until Elliot returns with Christian, who is now dressed in jeans and a white button down shirt with the first couple of buttons casually undone. He looks amazing, but he is also radiating tension.
"Well, will you look at that... you are sitting opposite me... damn you got hot, Christian." Kate whistles and that effectively breaks the tension and has Mia and I giggle, while Elliot and Andrew roll their eyes and Christian snorts.
"It's good to see you too, Kate... how is your brother doing?"
"Ethan is doing great, he just finished his master degree in psychology and will be working in England for a year." Kate tells him.
"Good for him... so... Mia do you have a moment?" He asks and Mia gets up.
"We wait until you guys are ready." I let them know and watch as Mia walks out on the patio with Christian.
Mia
I can't believe this is happening. Why now? I am happy again, I have an amazing fiancé, the most beautiful little girl in the world and a loving extended family in Elliot, Ana and little CJ. I'm in a good place in my life and I'm scared that Christian is just using me to get closer to Ana. After all, she has always been more important than anyone else to him... or at least until his real mother brainwashed him into being her puppet. Now, I don't know what to think. I just know that I can't allow myself to have hope until I'm 100 percent sure that Christian is being honest with me. I just can't go back to that dark place I was in five years ago when I tried to take my own life... I have too much to live for.
"Are you cold?" Christian asks and I shake my head.
"You look good, so... the tall guy is your boyfriend?"
"His name is Andrew Reynolds, he is my fiancé."
"What does he do for a living?"
"He is an architect, he works with Elliot. We met when I went to visit Elliot at one of his construction sides. I forget to put a hard head on and someone dropped a toolbox from the roof. Drew jumped forward and pulled me out of the way... we went on a date the next day and have been together ever since."
"Ana told me you have a daughter." Christian says and it's obvious to me that he is way out of his element and doesn't know how to handle this situation.
"Yes, Nylah she turned two just last week, here." I say and show him pictures of my little girl on my phone.
"Wow, she looks a lot like you, just with blonde curls."
"I know, she gets that from Drew's side of the family, they are all blonde."
"I see... so you have a good life now?"
"It took me a long time to get there... what about you?"
"Working on getting there... Mia I never meant to hurt you, I was just so trapped with my Mom and trying not to upset her..."
"But it was OK to upset me when all I wanted was to see you and make sure you are fine? To see that my brother is alive after I had to believe I would never get to see you again... would it have been that hard to simply tell me that you are fine but can't handle having two families right now?" I ask and he stares blankly at me.
"I couldn't... not while my mom was listening and then I thought it would be best for you to just move on with your life."
"Move on with my life? My life was a complete mess... I mean, I was twenty-one my father in jail, my mother dead and you just rejected me... Elliot was trying so hard to be there for me to make everything better, but he was also heartbroken over everything that happened and had his company to think about... I didn't need to move on with my life, I needed my big brother... my best friend... to just hug me and tell me everything would be fine, that I'm strong enough to get through this... and I know you've been through so much yourself... but I would have never abandoned you when you really needed me... I still wouldn't because blood or not, you are my brother and I love you." I sob.
"Mia I... I'm so sorry... I just... I couldn't allow myself to think about what my actions would do to anyone else or else I wouldn't have been able to live in that situation... is it true that you tried to take your own life?"
"Yes... I was just... I can't even explain it, I felt like I can never be happy again... that I couldn't life any longer in this hell and it seemed like my only way out. Elliot found me... he, Ana and her parents helped me to get through this... as well as therapy and then I met Drew and I finally had something to look forward too again..."
"I'm so very sorry, Mia..."
"It's OK... look, we all have to do things to survive... and sometimes we have to make tough decisions... but now I have one question. Are you just here to get my forgiveness or do you want to be my brother again?"
"Actually, both... I've missed you a lot." He says and it makes me smile.
"I was always here waiting... but I'm also no longer the girl you once knew, so how about we take this slow. We could meet for lunch next week, see if we can fix our relationship and if things go well you meet Nylah. I just need to be sure you'll be there permanently before I introduce you to her as her uncle."
"Yes, sure we can do that." He says smiling and I smile back, but then sigh.
"Christian... Ana is really happy and Elliot loves her a lot. I know it's not my place to say, but maybe it's time for you to let her go... not see her as the love of your life, but your best friend who happens to be the mom of your son." I get out and I can tell he is not happy about this.
"Look... I can't do that. Ana is it for me. I know I ruined everything and Ana might never forgive me, but I have to try."
"What about Elliot?"
"He said he loves her enough to let her go if that is what she wants... I know the situation is fucked up... I just don't understand how Ana could ever think it was OK to date Elliot out of all people." He says frowning.
"He was always there for her, ever since she came back he was nothing but supportive without asking for anything... they were friends for a long time and eventually they fell in love. You can't control love it just happens and I assure you Ana didn't jump into this."
"What do you mean by that?"
"After her first date with Elliot she came to me, and we had a long talk. She was so torn because he is your brother, and she knew that if you ever came back it would put all of you in a very awkward position. She was also worried how CJ would react to it and that it would be all sorts of weird for him if Ana had kids with Elliot." I say and he cringes.
"Are they... trying?"
"Not that I'm aware of, but they do want to have kids eventually."
"Fuck... I really don't know what to do, I expected Ana would be still single when I'm back."
"Now isn't that very selfish and frankly arrogant of you?" I ask.
"Why?"
"Geez, Christian, Ana is a gorgeous woman, she bright, beautiful, kind and has so much love to give... why wouldn't someone fall in love with her? You can't seriously expect for her to remain alone until it suits you to come back and re-claim her... she is not your property. Also, I can't imagine you being celibate for the past five years."
"Well, no... but I never fell in love with someone else, I just fuc... umm..."
"Fucked... I'm a big girl now and I know how men are." I laugh and bless him, he actually blushes a bit.
"Did Ana..."
"No, she is not that kind of girl and you know it. She certainly wasn't lacking offers but for the longest time she wouldn't date because she felt like she was truly free. She was waiting for you but after years had passed by she had to start over."
"She asked me not to contact her and set her free."
"Oh Christian... if a girl tells you to do that it means she wants you to fight for her and prove to her that you do love her... she was asking you to not let go but to fight and hold on to her." I sigh and he cusses.
"Fuck me, why are women so darn complicated, had she told me to fight for her I would have done just that."
"So, you would have left Canada to come here?"
"Well, no, I couldn't at the time..."
"See, then it wasn't the right time... maybe it isn't the right time now either... or maybe you have to accept that the right moment has passed by now. Whatever it is, just try not to hurt her and Elliot in the process... and keep in mind that whatever happens is not just going to have an impact on the three of you, but also on your son." I say and Kate pokes her head outside.
"Starving here... are you guys fine?"
"Sure, come, we can talk more over lunch next week." I say and we head inside.
Christian
Watching Ana and Elliot during dinner makes me want to smash something or punch someone... preferably my brother who just can't keep his fucking hands off her. To be honest, neither can Ana and I know she doesn't do it on purpose or to prove a point with me. It is just her way of showing affection to hug and kiss him or hold his hand whenever he is within reach.
As I watch them the bitter thought crosses me that this could have been me. I could be the man in Ana's live if it wasn't for my mother. I can't hate Grace for being mentally sick and in need of her. But I can certainly blame Jason and myself for enabling her to continue with her controlling and frankly crazy behavior.
At first, I wasn't old enough to do something about it and by the time I was, I was so caught up in the situation I just couldn't do what was right anymore.
And now it has most likely cost me my chance to be with Ana. Because seeing them together, for the first time I'm having second thoughts if I should really try to break them up to be with her. In addition, I would be devastated if I was to realize that I can't do that and that it was my own fault that I will never be with Ana.
I listen to Mia going on and on about how she wants another baby right after the wedding and already think about a polite way to leave early when Drew looks at Ana.
"What about you guys, don't you want a sibling for CJ and a little play buddy for Nylah?" He asks and much to my surprise Elliot glares at him, while Ana looks stone faced at him for a moment and then excuses herself but I swear there have been tears in her eyes.
"What was that all about?" I ask looking at Elliot, and he takes a deep breath.
"Let her tell you... she is probably in her study, up the stairs and then door at the end of the halfway to your left." Elliot says and I get up not sure what is going on or why he wouldn't just tell me but suddenly I get a really bad feeling about this...
