I'm sorry that you had to wait for so long. But finally a new chapter is up and I really hope you like it :)
They remained in each other's embrace, until Tony pulled back and whispered:
"Come on, you really need to rest."
Pepper nodded and smiled at him. She couldn't believe how everything had changed between them, but couldn't deny that she was nervous about it either. The last few days with Tony had been so different, but Pepper was a little bit afraid that his affection torwards her would vanish when they were back in Malibu. She looked up into his brown eyes and her stomach tingled when she realized Tony's eyes were full of something she had never seen in them before. Love.
With Pepper looking at him like that, Tony couldn't hold back and whisked her off her feet carrying her upstairs bridal style.
They reached the small bedroom, only a wooden singlebed stood at the opposite wall and a matching wardrobe at the other. The sun shone through the small window and illuminated the room with a soft light. It looked really peaceful and Tony set Pepper down, but when he took her hands and tried to pull her to the bed with him, she refused and blushed helplessly, avoding eye contact when he grinned at her.
"What's wrong, Pepper?"
She nervously tugged at the towel she still wore and finally managed to look at him before she mumbled:
"I don't have any clothes to sleep in... and I don't know if I can just... well..."
Tony smiled and softly took her face in his hands to force her to look at him.
"Pep...", he whispered. "Where's the problem? We already slept in the same bed and cuddled and I just kissed you... I... I just want to hold you, after everything that has happened I want to keep you as close as I can."
He placed a lingering kiss on her forehead and Pepper leaned in, not wanting him to pull back ever again. Eventually he did and took her hand to pull her to the bed with him. When he sat down, he pulled her in his lap and whispered:
"Look, you have to rest, doesn't matter if it's with or without the towel. And I promise I won't touch you in an inappropiate way, as long as I can cuddle you, alright?"
Pepper was incredibly touched by this gesture of him and she whispered back her "okay", before she stood up and got rid of the towel.
Thomas' bed was particulary small, so Pepper ended up lying half on top of Tony, her head on his shoulder and one of her hands resting on his chest while Tony had his arms wrapped around her waist. To keep her warm, he had pulled the blanket over their bodies and Pepper answered by snuggling closer to him. Since they lay there, Tony felt warm and comfortable, having Pepper in his arms. To him, it felt absolutely perfect, he could feel her heart beat against his own and her soft skin felt oddly familiar against his rough hands. She was everything he had and everything he cared for and he tried to memorize every detail about her. How she had always dealed with his behaviour and protected him. The way she could light up his mood with a simple smile... Tony knew he didn't deserve her, Pepper deserved a man who was reliable and honest with her. She was too important for him to mess this up.
He couldn't bear to tell her that he was dying. Tony sighed heavily, she deserved to know...
"Pepper..?", he spoke softly and Pepper hummed. "I... I have to talk to you..."
He sighed. Why was it so hard? Everything he had wished for the last few months had finally come true, he finally had Pepper by his side and he didn't want to risk their new-found relationship. He started playing with a strand of her hair and Pepper finally leaned up and kissed him softly, enjoying that she could do that so easily now. She smiled at him, until she noticed the look on his face and asked:
"Are you alright? Is... Is this alright?"
Tony had gotten lost in the kiss and her ocean blue eyes, so he only nodded absently and Pepper frowned. She knew him well enough to know that something was up and she needed to know what it was. But she was also incredibly tired and everything she wanted to do was cuddle up in Tony's arms and sleep. She soflty caressed his cheek and snuggled back into his side. Tony kissed her forehead and whispered:
"Good night Peps..."
Even tough he was incredibly tired, Tony couldn't find sleep. It was quiet around him, the love of his life was sleeping in his arms, she was alive and would be as good as new soon. She looked so peaceful, her breath was steady and calm and her hand rested protectivly over his arc.
A shame that she can't make the deadly lines disappear with her love... Tony thought bitterly.
But did Pepper really love him, like he loved her? How could she?
Tony knew he was quite a handful and absolutely not easy to deal with. Nonetheless, Pepper had always stood by his side, like no one ever had and he was incredibly thankful for that. He was a playboy, egocentric and treated most of the people he met like they where not worthy of his time.
In fact, the only people who had his attention where Rhodey and Pepper... Of course, there had always been a flirting banter between them, and Tony couldn't deny the sexual tension either. But he had realized that there was more between them, a lot more than he had wanted to admit. He had started to find new things about her that he didn't recognize before. The way she always looked incredibly cute when she was concentrated on work and bit her lip ever so slightly. How her blue eyes sparkled when he made her laugh...
Tony sighed heavily and pulled Pepper even closer. She groaned in her sleep and Tony was afraid he had woken her up, but soon her breath got steady again. He couldn't hold back a single tear rolling down his cheek. With Pepper he felt like home... He could talk to her about anything, he trusted her more than he trusted himself and he knew she would always have his back. He wanted to give back to her what she had always given him, but he hadn't had much time left.
Carefully, so he wouldn't wake her, Tony fished his phone out of his pocket and whispered to Jarvis,
"Hey buddy... what about the last analysis? How much...", he didn't want to ask, because hearing it would make it irretrieviable, but he had to know.
"How much time do I have left?"
"About a month, Sir. Using the suit would increase the palladium poisoning, so I suggest you won't fly anymore."
Tony groaned... How should he get them home if he couldn't fly? He was sure that his jet woudln't be allowed to fly either, because of the volcano eruption.
You will die in a month moron...
Why do you want to go home? You could spend your last days only with Pepper at the beach of one of the japanese islands...
You won't die, you'll find a cure...
His mind was furious and his head hurt a lot. Tony sighed and pushed the thought aside as he softly leaned over to kiss Pepper's forehead and closed his eyes. Concentrating on her breath and her heartbeat finally made him fall asleep.
When Pepper opened her eyes the next day, the morning sun illuminated the room in a magical glow and she smiled, turning her head to find Tony still asleep next to her. He looked a lot healthier than he did yesterday and she hoped she did too. She leaned up, caressed his beard with one hand and kissed him softly. It didn't take long until Tony kissed her back and when they broke apart he opened his eyes and smiled at her.
"Good morning beautiful...", he whispered. "I like waking up like that."
Pepper blushed at his comment and mumbled back:
"Me too..."
They stared into each others eyes for what seemed like hours, until Pepper finally stood up and realized that she was still quite obviusly naked. She blushed again and her face matched her hair, but Tony approached her with the thin blanked they slept in and handed it to her. She smiled thankfully at him and wrapped herself up properly, but as she wanted to thank him, he just wrapped his arms around her. His forehead rested against hers and he sighed softly.
"Pep, I..." Tony knew what he had to say, but he just didn't had the courage to tell her, he didn't want to see her shocked face. His mind was furious and he stared into her blue eyes, trying to form coherent words.
I have to tell you...
I know you deserve someone better than me...
I'm dying...
I don't want to hurt you...
Finally he said what he had always wanted to tell her and he had to do it now, before it was too late..
"I love you..."
Pepper stared up at him, she had never expected those words from him, but she felt that he truly meant it. Tears welled up in her eyes and she threw herself at him, kissing him deeply.
Tony knew he had to find a cure at all cost. For Pepper...
