Disclaimer: I own nothing.
––
Maggie and Glenn were in the back of the RV, Maggie was shuddering on the mattress, holding tightly to Glenn's hand, and Glenn was glued to her side. Michonne and Sasha were securing the weapons for the trip inside the RV, Carl and Enid were arguing about her coming along, and Rick was trying to come up a way to keep Daryl from joining them. He knew he'd put Morgan on the back burner until he was sure Maggie and the baby were all right. Morgan was capable of taking care of himself, they both knew that, but he'd have to try.
"Daryl." Rick waved him over. "We'll take care of Maggie. Why don't you go and look for Morgan? He...er, went out a couple days ago, and he hasn't been back yet. We don't need him putting himself in unnecessary danger." He wouldn't even kill people. The sooner he was back here doing yoga with his stick, the better.
"You're sendin' me after Morgan? With Maggie sick?"
"You can track him better than anybody else."
"Yeah, he can find his way back just fine."
He had a point, and unless he spilled the beans on why Morgan was really outside the walls, Daryl wouldn't go looking for him. He'd assume Morgan marked his trail and would be back in his own time. Rick couldn't tell Daryl Carol bolted three days ago. If he did, he'd have to explain why she came back, or Daryl would hunt her down and command her to tell him the truth. They didn't need her slipping out again—he couldn't sleep at night knowing she was out there alone, possibly pregnant—so he'd just have to keep pressing him. At least when he failed, he could say he tried his best. Not that his best would mean much to Carol.
"If he marked his trail, he'll be back when he's ready. He tracked us, or he tried to before he lost our trail at the church. I think he's capable of gettin' back here in one piece. Maggie needs us, and who knows what you'll run into."
"We'll able to handle it. It'll be me, Michonne, Sasha, Denise, Glenn, Carol—"
"You're takin' Carol?"
"She volunteered."
"Then I'm goin' too."
"Daryl—"
"The last time we went out together as a group, Carol and Maggie were taken. I ain't gonna let that happen again with somebody else." He moved by Rick and climbed in the RV.
Son of a bitch. It would be hard to cover Carol getting an ultrasound with Daryl lurking to ensure their family was safe. He'd have to keep him close to the RV, and it'd be tricky, but both women needed Harlan, and they couldn't waste time here bickering. He and Michonne would get a handle on the situation once they were there, and he wouldn't break his word. He owed Carol that. He considered the note she'd written before bailing. He owed her more than just this. This was how he began to make amends for his...mistake.
––
"I'm coming, and that's final," Enid spat. "She's my friend, too, and I have a right to be there."
"Yes, you do have a right to be there, but you're staying. It isn't safe, and we don't have a lot of room in the RV. We don't need to crowd Maggie. She has Glenn and us, and we'll keep each other safe. You need to stay here and do the same for our people here," Carl retorted. "Keep Judith safe for me, okay? I know Gabriel has her, and I trust him, but... Just keep an eye on her for me."
Enid huffed. "I don't take up much space."
"I know you're worried about her, but we all have to do things we don't like for the better of the group."
"Then why don't you stay, and I'll go? You're Judith's older brother anyway. You should be here protecting her."
"Maggie's my family, and I'm going to go with them and be there to ensure her and the baby's safety."
"Actually," Rick neared the squabbling teenagers, "you're not."
"What?" Carl whirled around. "Why not?"
"I need you here with Spencer and Gabriel. With Abe and Eugene, and the group of us that's leavin', I need you here to take care of things. You and Enid both." He glanced between the two kids. "We can't afford for anyone to get gravely injured or...worse with us takin' Denise. I trust you to keep everyone safe."
Carl wanted to groan, but he understood. "Yeah, we'll hang back."
"I'm gonna say goodbye to Maggie then." Enid sent a smirk to Carl then ducked out of the armory/pantry.
Rick and Carl parted ways with a brief hug and exchange of words on guard shifts. Carl was disappointed, but at least Enid had to stay behind with him. His dad was right. They needed to hold down the fort here, and with most of their people—the people who could handle themselves in any situation—out, Carl and Enid were better left here with Aaron, Spencer and Gabriel.
Denise checked in on Maggie, Carol was gathering the medical supplies Denise wanted to bring along just in case Maggie or one of them needed it, and Aaron joined her.
"Are you staying behind?" Carol zipped the bag up.
"Yeah. I wish I could be there with Maggie and you all, but I should stay. Eric and I will cover Sasha and Abe's shifts, and Carl and Enid will cover Eugene and Michonne's. We have a few volunteers to cover the shifts we'll be missing." He stuffed his hands in his pockets. "A lot of people care about Maggie, and they'll do what they can for her."
"It's no surprise. Maggie's a kind person. She's tough too. I'm sure she'll pull through." She shouldered the bag. "You'll take care of things here."
"Me and the others, yeah."
"And we'll take care of Maggie." She offered him a smile and started to leave.
"Are you going to talk to him?" Aaron asked. "Tobin, I mean. He...was pretty distressed when he found your note." She halted, and he continued. "It's none of my business, but you should talk to him. You don't have to explain, just let him know you're okay. I don't think he knows you're back yet."
"I have to escort Maggie to Hilltop. She and the baby are our top priority. Tobin will understand."
"I'm sure he will." He returned her smile from moments ago. "Be careful out there."
"Be careful here." She exited the infirmary and made a beeline for the RV. She really didn't want to speak with anyone else, especially not Tobin. She wanted to get this trip over with. Her stomach was already in knots. She had to know Maggie and the baby were all right. She could hope, but hope did little in this world. This doctor would know what to do. Rick and Glenn seemed confident, so she would trust their judgement. And she would worry about herself later.
Everyone had assembled in the RV, finding their seats and double-checking the route to Hilltop. Carol's eyes locked in on the muddy boots in the passenger seat, and she cut a foul look to Rick who was now boarding. He didn't offer an explanation so much as an apologetic shrug and moved onto the driver's seat. She sat across from Michonne, handing the bag to Denise when she slid onto the bench beside her, and Rick pulled out of Alexandria.
This was going to be a long, painful trip, Carol suspected, looking back at Maggie and Glenn, for all of them.
– – –
Halfway to Hilltop, they came across a few fallen trees and had to turn back to use a different route. Sasha had taken the wheel, Rick was looking over the map so they didn't get lost, and Daryl had replaced Denise beside Carol. Denise was back with Glenn and Maggie, explaining the trees and new route and to examine her again. Carol crossed her legs and slouched, feeling like she'd been inside this RV for half of her life, and she rubbed a sore spot on her wrist. She'd noted both Daryl and Michonne glancing at her, and she wondered why.
Denise joined them, sitting by Michonne as Daryl had stolen her seat, and she said Maggie was hanging in there, but the sooner they arrived at Hilltop, the better. Carol was tempted to go back there to see Maggie for herself, unable to get the image of her shaking on the floor out of her head, but she decided against it. She wasn't sure moving was a good idea right now. She didn't trust her stomach.
"Are you all right?" Denise leaned a bit toward Carol. "You look a little green."
Carol smiled softly. "I'm fine."
"I found a couple cans of ginger ale while out on our run. I...brought them with us since Tara's already gone. You can have one."
"I'm fine," Carol insisted.
Daryl glanced at her. "You sure?"
"Why don't you both please focus on the person who actually has something wrong with them?" Carol crossed her arms and avoided eye contact, hoping the rest of this trip was a silent one. She had to concentrate to keep the uneasy flipping of her stomach from becoming more. She hoped it was just from the stress of their current circumstances.
"We should be there soon," Sasha announced to the group.
"Good." Daryl rose off the bench and walked down the hall to peek in on Maggie, seeing she was smiling as Glenn spoke softly to her, stroking her hair. He could hear Glenn talking to Maggie about his sisters and his mother, and Maggie looked at him with such love and joy despite the what was happening with her body and the baby. It made his lips twitched in a half-smile. They were a good match, and he was glad Glenn was there for her and their kid. They'd be great parents. He didn't interrupt them, so he quietly moved away.
Carol didn't want to test how much sheer willpower could keep what little food she'd eaten that morning down, so she excused herself to the bathroom. She leaned against the wall, closing her eyes and steadying her breathing. She wasn't sure which was bothering her more: the small space of the bathroom, or the possible "morning" sickness. She wanted it to pass and have this all be some flu bug, or bad food. She didn't want this to be a real. She couldn't be a mom again. She couldn't even be a good adoptive mom to Lizzie and Mika. How in the hell was she going to do this if this was real? If this baby was real?
She covered her mouth with her hand as the churning intensified in her gut, and bile rose up in her throat. She bent down and threw up. If she could do it quietly, she would have, but sadly she had no control over that. She didn't want them to hear and ask questions, but they were less than five feet away in an RV. She was sure these walls were thick, and the rumble of the engine would aid drown her heaving out, but if this was anything like pregnancy with Sophia, or perhaps the last time she had a stomach bug, it wouldn't be over quickly, no matter how little she'd consumed.
––
Michonne peered over the hall to see if Carol was coming back or not, but there was no sign of her. She didn't wear a watch, but she knew it'd been over five minutes. She could hear the ticking of the watch strapped to Rick's wrist. He had traded places with Denise to stretch his legs for a bit then he sat down. That was five minutes ago if her counting was correct, and she was certain it was. The ticking was getting on nerves, so she knew.
"She's been in there a while now," Michonne whispered to Rick, leaning toward him, her overlapped legs knocking against him at the movement.
"Has she?"
"I normally wouldn't worry, but...considering her condition." She wondered if she was experiencing morning sickness. She didn't want to press her ear to the door to find out, but if that what it was, they'd need to cover for her. Michonne hadn't told Carol she knew, but given how private Carol had become, she most likely didn't want anyone to know until she knew. If Daryl figured it out, he'd become a smothering papa bear, and Carol wouldn't be able to take two steps without him. If Glenn weren't here, he'd do the same to Maggie, only he'd hover mutely in the room with her. He cared deeply about their family, even more deeply for Carol, so Michonne understood Carol's reservations on telling anyone else, especially Daryl. She'd experienced his concern firsthand when she relentlessly tried to hunt down the Governor.
"We're almost to Hilltop," Rick replied. "I'll get Daryl to help me with Maggie, and you check in on her with Denise. Keep her relaxed and give her fluids if she needs them."
"I know how to handle a pregnant woman."
"Do you?"
"Yeah." She didn't elaborate. She'd tell him about Andre one day, but not today. Today was for Maggie and for Carol. Rick didn't need this story on his heart right now. "I'll be by her side while you all are with Maggie."
"What's with the whisperin'?" Daryl called from the table.
"Nothing you want to hear," Michonne teased, snuggling against Rick. "Unless you do?"
He snorted and returned to giving Denise tips on how to use the scoop on one of the rifles they'd brought. He'd asked if Tara or Rosita taught her how to shoot and load the clip, and she said Tara had insisted. That helped, put some of his nerves at ease, for the time being at least. He didn't want her out here without knowing how to protect herself. There were worst things than walkers.
Carol stumbled out of the bathroom, all but collapsing across from Rick and Michonne. She curled up slightly on the seat, her arms gently around her lower abdomen, and she rested her head on the wall, eyes closed. The rumbling of the engine was oddly soothing; however, the motion of the RV wasn't in any way comforting. She was reduced to dry heaving, because there was nothing else remaining in her stomach, so she wasn't worried about vomiting on the bench. She might have to hide it by coughing into the crook of her elbow, but otherwise she had no doubt that her stomach was empty. And she couldn't hide in the bathroom without a good excuse. She would have thought of one, but they would be at their destination soon, and if the urge was still there, she wouldn't have hide it. They'd all be busy with Maggie.
Michonne and Rick exchanged glances, Michonne moved to sit beside Carol, and Carol felt someone sit down, but she didn't open her eyes. Michonne didn't speak, simply ran her eyes over the pale woman beside and looked to see how near Hilltop they were. Arriving sooner rather than later would benefit both women.
– – –
"How are you feeling?" Glenn whispered, lacing his fingers through his wife's.
"Not well." Her voice was weak, and she kept her eyes closed. "It's... kinda hard to explain, but...not well covers it."
He kissed her knuckles. "I'm right here, okay? We ought to be there any minute now."
"Any minute?"
"Yeah."
Moments later the RV halted, Glenn distantly heard an indistinct conversation between Rick and someone else then the RV pulled forward a little. The engine cut off, Daryl and Rick came in and nodded to Glenn. They didn't want to pick Maggie up, as she looked as fragile as glass, so they lifted the mattress and carried her on it to Harlan. They then gently moved her onto the gurney, Rick and Daryl returned the mattress and waited outside for news.
"Are you all right?" Michonne questioned Carol.
"I'm worried about Maggie." She opened her eyes. "And the baby."
"Or your baby?" Carol frowned, and Michonne smiled gently. "Rick told me. Although even if he hadn't, I would have recognized the signs."
"I don't know if I am." She averted her eyes. "It could just be a bug. I did sleep outside for three nights."
"You wouldn't have come back if you thought it was just a bug," Michonne declared. "If that's all it took, you wouldn't have left in the first place."
"I don't want to talk about this, Michonne. I'm sorry, but please, I don't want to talk about it." She pushed herself up. "I need some air." She padded down the stairs and out of the RV, sucking in the humid air, and she heard Michonne exit behind her. "Michonne—"
"You have to talk about it, Carol." She carefully turned Carol to face her. "It could be a reality."
"Don't you think I know that?" Carol snapped. "What do you think I'm so afraid of? I'm not like Maggie, okay? I'm not young, and I know the risks. I didn't plan on this happening. Trust me, this is the last time I would ever want!"
"What if you are pregnant? What then?"
"I don't know, all right? I don't have a clue what the hell I'm gonna do if I'm pregnant, or how I'll tell the father, or how I'm going to raise this baby in the world we live in." She threw her arms out. "If the baby survives long enough for me to raise it, that is. Who knows what's going to happen to it. If I strain myself and lose the baby, or if the baby just...dies inside of me...or there's SIDS..."
Michonne lowered her eyes. "You've thought this through."
"Of course I have. That's why I came back to Alexandria. If the worst should come to pass, I don't want to suffer as...one of those things. Me, or the baby." Subconsciously her hand moved to her stomach.
"Baby?"
They turned to Denise who had come back to the RV for the medicine she brought along with them, Carol winced at yet another person finding out about her possible pregnancy, and Michonne was surprised she'd manage to sneak up on them as she had. She either had skill, or they were too distracted by their conversation.
"Rotters!" one of the Hilltop men on watch shouted, arming himself with a spear.
A small pack of walkers stumbled out of the treeline, heading straight for Hilltop. If they closed the gates, they could prevent them from entering the community due to the slow rate they moved at, and the distance between the treeline and the Hilltop. However they'd still be there when they headed back to Alexandria, and they'd have to deal with them then. They'd pound on the walls, possibly even weaken them if they worked on the same space. Carol had seen it at the prison, and she didn't want a repeat of that here. She didn't want anyone to get hurt, because of the walkers. She could imagine what would happen if one of the walls fell, and she didn't like the imagines flooding her mind. She'd seen it too many times. The scent of fire burning on wood and stone, the choking scent of decay surrounding them, the moans and hungry snarls of the walkers, the grabbing hands, the screams of terrors as they sank their teeth in and ripped flesh from bone.
She leaned forward and almost threw up again at the memories of those scents and sounds, Michonne gripped her arms to steady her, and Denise moved to her other side. Carol gazed at the dirty, raggedy pack of walkers advancing toward them, and she observed the men on watch tossing spears at them. They weren't going to stop the small group like that. They were only wasting their weapons.
She pulled her knife from her belt and slipped out of the gates as they drew them shut.
"Carol!" Michonne ran after her.
Denise was terrified at the thought of following Michonne and Carol out the gates, but what kind of person lets a pregnant woman fight a small group of walkers with the assistance of only one other person? She escaped before the gates were shut, hearing Rick and Daryl yelling on the other side. She had the gun Daryl had given her, a knife, but that was it. She spotted a spear that must have either fallen or was thrown by someone with extremely shitty aim. Or extremely impressive, considering it was almost directly against the wall. It would have taken work to have it fall and land in that position.
She cleared her head and collected the spear, thrusting the sharpened tip through the skull of the walker reaching for her. She yanked it out and stumbled from the force needed, and she repeated it on the next one and the next one and the next one. Her heart was racing in her chest. This wasn't how she expected to be spending her afternoon!
Michonne whipped her katana out, cutting through the heads of three walkers with ease, and she planned her lecture out as she was nearly swarmed by walkers. She used her aggravation at Carol to kill the walkers around her, and she hoped when this was over and they were all okay, she was going to rattle Carol as gingerly as she could rattle a potentially pregnant woman!
Carol could remember all the times their home had been overrun by walkers, how many times those homes were now graveyards, and she couldn't stomach it happening here. This wasn't her home. These people weren't her people, but she was so fucking tired of walking away while these things remained, roaming and destroying everything in their path. They were decay, and this place wouldn't be touched by it. Not while she was here with them. She refused.
Air shot by her head, she blinked as a walker that would have blindsided her crumbled to the ground, a bolt lodged in his eye socket. She caught the shirt of the walker in front of her and plunged her knife into his head, Daryl, Sasha, Jesus and Rick taking on the walkers they hadn't gotten to yet.
The seven of them made quick work of the small horde, Denise seemed fond of the spear she'd been using, and Michonne lost most of her aggravation toward Carol. Sasha cleaned her blade off, double checking the treeline for any movement as Daryl reclaimed his bolts. Carol stumbled back, panting, and Jesus send a nod to the men on guard to let them know the threat had been eliminated. Rick slipped his gun back in his holster, and he got in Carol's space, not bothering to keep his voice down.
"What the hell was that?!"
"Another day in our life."
"No, you know what I meant." He felt the eyes of the people around them, but it was too late to sweep it under the rug. "What the hell were you thinkin'?"
"It's over, Rick. I'm fine—we're fine." She swept a hand out to the group.
"You were impulsive," Michonne remarked. "You can't afford to be impulsive at a time like this! Do you have any idea how stupid this was? We could have handled it!"
"What are you, my parents? It's done. Arguing with me now won't change that."
"But it'll change how this works in the future," Rick remonstrated.
Carol scoffed, shaking her head and walking back toward Hilltop. She had to get away from them and their concern, but mostly she had to get away from that stench. It'd cling to her nose, and she wouldn't be able to smell anything else. She'd consider their points later, but for now, it didn't matter. It had been dealt with, they were fine, and she'd apologize. Once the results were, no matter what they said, she'd apologize. They were just looking out for her. That was, after all, what family did.
––
Daryl and Sasha both glanced from Michonne to Rick, but Sasha bit first. "What was that?"
They exchanged a look, Denise was heading back with Jesus, and Michonne would have abandoned Rick to handle this himself if she thought he could come up with a suitable lie. She moved between the two men, sheathing her blade, and she looked from Daryl's confused blue eyes to Sasha's curious brown ones.
"Carol might be sick. We don't know for sure, but if she is, she doesn't need to overexert herself." She maintained eye contact with Daryl, so he would buy her lies. He was the one they needed most to believe, after all. She would explain it to Sasha later, if Sasha came asking. "You saw how bad a simple flu escalated. We don't want that to happen again. If we keep her pumped with fluids and vitamins, she should kick this bug. If not, Harlan might have meds for her, which is why we brought her."
"Thought she volunteered." Daryl chewed on his bottom lip.
"She didn't want you to know," Rick commented. "You tend to...panic when things happen to Carol, so we kept it a secret."
"Don't tell her you know. She isn't exactly in the most pleasant of moods, but she did spend a good portion of the trip puking her guts up."
Sasha crossed her arms, a brow arched. "Why yell at her like that then? She's a grown woman, capable of making her own decisions, and I think she'd know if she could or couldn't handle some walkers."
"Besides we were here," Daryl added. "Had her back."
Rick sucked air in through his teeth. "I...may have overreacted, but I didn't want anything to happen to her, not like Patrick and the others." His gaze moved to Sasha. "You remember what that flu was like."
Sasha's brow lowered, though suspicion glistened behind those dark orbs.
"We got the equipment to take care of it," Daryl told him. "The meds too now. Helpin' the Hilltop out just now might have gotten Carol the meds to make her better."
"Maybe."
Michonne jerked her head back to the Hilltop. "Why don't we go check on Maggie and Glenn? Give Carol some space for a bit, let her cool down, and I'll bring her the meds."
"I can do it," Daryl offered.
"It's okay. I've got it."
Daryl narrowed his eyes at Rick and Michonne's retreating figures, an uneasy limp forming in this throat, and he spotted Carol and Denise by the RV. Denise had said she looked green, and she was in the bathroom for a long while. She could be sick. She was paler than ususal, but the way Rick went off on her wasn't normal, not even for a sick family member. There was something else going on here, but they clearly didn't want him involved. They weren't going to tell him anything, so he'd have to find out for himself. If Carol was sick or worse, he'd find out
