Disclaimer: I own nothing.

––

Michonne walked by Rick to Hilltop, and she didn't dare look back at Daryl and Sasha. "Next time, let's better prepare our lie."

"Next time? What do you mean? Next time we hide Carol's pregnancy, or next time she goes off on her own to take on a pack of walkers?"

She chuckled. "The first one. I don't know if Daryl bought that."

"Sasha definitely didn't."

"If we just go along with it, Daryl might let it drop."

"Do you know Daryl?" He smirked at her.

"Like you could have done any better."

"All right, the next lie is on me."

Meanwhile in the RV, Denise handed Carol a bottle of water, Carol politely accepted it and drank a few sips to appease her, and Denise checked her blood pressure. She would have complained had she not basically dragged her and Michonne to kill a small horde of walkers simply because she darted out the gate and may be with child. She owed them an apology for risking their lives. They'd faced worse at Alexandria, but that didn't mean they had to go seeking danger to prove they could survive.

"Your heart's racing."

"It's not easy work," she set the bottle on the table and twisted the cap shut with the same hand, "killing walkers."

"Yeah, that was... Yeah." Denise laughed a little and was pleased with Carol's blood pressure.

"And I'm sorry for that, making you come after me and fight them."

"Don't apologize. I didn't have to follow, but I did. I wanted to. So...don't apologize." She smiled. "Uh, so...how far along are you?"

Carol opened her mouth to speak, but before she could get the words out, Daryl entered the RV. Carol shook her head at Denise, hoping she'd understand and not mention the P-word in front of him.

"Could you give us a minute?" Daryl asked Denise.

"Sure. I'll see how Maggie's doing, if Harlan needs help."

Carol wanted to flee with Denise, but Daryl wasn't going to let that happen. He wanted to talk to her, but she didn't want to talk to him. If she was around him for too long, it might all come spilling out. She didn't want to go back to the grove. She went there every night in her dreams, and she didn't want to relive it in her waking hours. She didn't want to remember how pale Mika looked, lying there in the grass, soaked in her own blood. She didn't want to remember how proud Lizzie looked, standing over her, almost smiling, happy that she'd finally figured out how to show them, how to make them see what she saw. She couldn't go back there. She couldn't, not even for Daryl.

"You all right?" He hovered beside her, hands on the strap to his crossbow. "Rick told me—"

"What?" She interrupted him. "Rick told you what?"

"Just to check on you." His lips shaped a line. "Is somethin' wrong?"

She lowered her eyes from his. "No."

"Well, now you're lyin' to me."

"Daryl, I don't want to talk about it. All I ask is that you just respect my decision, please. I need to be alone right now." She swiped the bottle of water and stormed out of the RV. She didn't know her way around Hilltop, but she needed space. Solitude, from the group and especially from Daryl. If she stayed in the RV, she might not be able to keep her front up, and she needed it. If she couldn't hide... She had to hide, and Daryl was the only person she couldn't hide from. Maybe one day he'd forgive her for this, but for her own protection, possibly even the protection of their friendship, she had to put distance between them.

She moved behind the building where they crafted their spears and seated herself in the shade, the bottle of water beside her. She squeezed her eyes shut to keep the tears away, pressing her fingers against her temple. She slowed her breathing, forcing back the ache dancing over her heart, and she opened her eyes when the threat of crying passed. She remained there for a moment, just to make sure she had control over her emotions, and she got to her feet. She couldn't sit here and think. Or try not to think.

Instead, she chose to go see how Maggie was doing.

– – –

"What's goin' on out there?" Maggie rolled her head to the side at the shouting. "Did...they say walkers?"

"Don't worry about it." Glenn smiled at her. "Rick and Daryl and Michonne will take care of it. Carol and Sasha too."

She nodded feebly.

He knew Harlan would be back in a few seconds, but he wasn't sure he could wait that long. He wanted to be optimistic, but he was shaken. He'd never seen Maggie look like this up until this moment. She was very pale and trembling, a layer of sweat coating her forehead. It broke his heart to see her in this condition, and he couldn't imagine what she was going through. He wanted to make it better any way he could, but he was helpless. He didn't have the skills to make her and the baby better. He could only stand by her side while she endured. It didn't feel like enough, like it was his best, but there was little else he could do.

He had tried to pray once back at the farm. He wasn't exactly sure how to pray to a god that let this happen to the world. So many good people had been killed, and he didn't understand how God could watch it happen. The rotten souls and dark hearts wouldn't be too hard to watch die. People like the Governor and Gareth got what they deserved. But the innocent ones? The kids? Sophia, Beth, Mika, Lizzie. The good ones? T-dog, Dale, Hershel, Lori, Andrea. The list went on and on when it shouldn't. They should be here with them today. Hershel should be here with them, helping Harlan with Maggie and his grandchild. Beth should be here to hold Maggie's other hand and reassure her sister.

He didn't know how to have hope in this situation. His hope for so long had been the baby. The world was cold and cruel, but little lights were born into it. Judith was born into it. She was growing and living and playing and laughing. She was this precious little ray of hope. She was the future. He and Maggie were going to have their own little ray of hope, of the future, but now this was happening. He didn't know what would happen, but he was scared. So many close calls, so damn many of them.

He inhaled, a quiver coursing through him, and he blinked rapidly several times to keep the tears, the doubt that crept into his heart, away. When they found Maggie and Carol in that place, when they got them home, he saw the cut in Maggie's shirt. Her skin wasn't grazed, but she'd come that close. If the knife had been even an inch closer or longer...who knows what would have happened. If Carol hadn't been there...

The door closed, Glenn spotted Harlan and quieted his thoughts, and Maggie braced herself for whatever was to come.

––

"Have you seen Carol?" Michonne located Denise outside Harlan's office, and she knew Rick and Daryl were by the RV, pacing and waiting for news, but she hadn't seen Carol since the walkers.

"No." Sasha adjusted the gun across her shoulders. "I haven't. Why?"

"I have medicine for her." It wasn't a total lie.

"Well, I haven't seen her, but if I do, I'll let her know you came by."

"Thanks."

"So, why are you really looking for Carol?" She leaned back on the chair she rested in. "And why did Rick blow a gasket at her killing walkers if she's just "sick"? It's not the flu like I had. I know what that felt like, looked like, and Carol seems fine. Fine enough that Rick shouldn't be as worried as he is." In addition, Carol was around the sickness, guiding people into A block, and she didn't catch it. So how did that illness come and go without touching her yet some other illness did months later? Either her immune system was a bitch, or it was a lie. She leaned more toward the latter.

"It's complicated."

"Try me."

"I can't. It's not for me to say, but if Carol wants to tell you then she will."

"Fair enough. I'll give Carol her space and her privacy." Everyone needed some of both now and then. "But if something is going on with her, let me know if I should look out for her."

"I will." Michonne had run out of places to look for Carol. She had been all throughout Hilltop, and they hadn't let anyone out of the gate since they killed those walkers. Carol wouldn't wander off by herself anyway, and if she tried, Daryl would be on her heels, because of their lie of her being sick. Besides Rick and Daryl were by the gate with the RV, so there wasn't a chance in hell of her escaping that way. There were no other ways out of Hilltop, so either Carol was in the RV, or Michonne walked by her and didn't notice her.

"You should check Harlan's office," Sasha suggested. "She might have checked on Maggie."

Well, she hadn't checked there yet. Perhaps she should have. It was the most obvious place, but she assumed that'd be the last place Carol would have gone. Carol was distancing herself. She couldn't leave because she might be pregnant, but she could keep away from them. With the baby possibly at risk, maybe she couldn't stay away. They were her family, so of course she'd be there.

– – –

Carol reached Harlan's office, extended her hand to knock on the door, but her hand stopped short at the noise coming from inside the office. Her heart shattered at the agonized cries that came from within, and she knew it was Maggie. She had only heard her like that when Daryl carried Beth's body out from Grady. She knew why it was happening now, and she felt her heart sink to her stomach.

Michonne stopped instantly in her search for Carol at the wails erupting from Harlan's building where Maggie and Glenn were. She knew the pain in those wails, and her chest contracted. She had made a similar sound when she returned from her run to find her home destroyed, her child dead, his father and her friend bitten and infected. She couldn't keep her mind from replaying it, and she threw out a hand toward the building to steady herself.

Rick and Daryl, although they were the furthest away at the gate, could discern the woeful cries from the young woman. Guessing what had happened was elementary. Nothing but anguish rang out in those cries, the cries of a young mother who wouldn't ever hold her child. Rick wanted to run and see if he was right, but his legs wouldn't carry him. So instead he slumped down and pinched the bridge of his nose, muttering a curse under his breath.

Daryl sank his teeth into his lip, not caring at the stinging pain of cutting through skin, and he ambled away from Rick and the RV. He knew how overjoyed Maggie and Glenn were. He had seen it when they were together in the RV after their first visit to Hilltop, how they looked at the sonogram like it was the most beautiful thing in the entire world, and now that was gone. The beauty, the joy, the precious new life they had tried to make together was gone. Gone like Hershel, gone like Beth, gone like so many others. It couldn't fight, couldn't be strong, couldn't defend itself, but it had passed on. Shit, he was right. Nothing good survived in this world. He didn't want to be right.

Sasha gulped with difficulty at the faint cries, shaking her head and closing her eyes. She knew this was an option. She knew it was on the table, but she had hoped it wasn't. She had hoped this kid would pull through like she'd seen Glenn pull through, like she'd seen Maggie pull through. They were such strong people, together and apart, and she hoped the baby had taken this quality in from both of them. She wanted it to hold on and grow and join them. She didn't want the see the darkness return to Maggie's eyes. She didn't want to see Glenn struggle to be there for her when he could hardly be there for himself. She didn't want this nightmare to be real, because she knew how hard it was picking herself back up, but this...? She couldn't begin to know where to start collecting the shattered pieces of yourself after losing your unborn child. Jesus, she didn't want to try and put herself in their shoes right now. God, poor Maggie and Glenn. And little baby Rhee who wouldn't see the faces of its loving parents.

Denise stood to the side of the room, watching Maggie coil up on the gurney and against Glenn, big tears splashing down her cheeks. Glenn couldn't console her, and he couldn't appear sooth himself. Denise didn't have any words, nor did Harlan. There were no words in this situation. Had things not gone to shit and the dead weren't walking, it might not have seemed as...demoralizing. Women miscarry, and they try again, and eventually it takes and they have their child, or they adopt or try through surrogacy. It worked out, and this loss, this hole, would one day be bearable.

Nevertheless those options didn't exit, and the world had gone to hell; the dead were up and walking around, plaguing the world and those who still lived. Maggie had lost so much, and now she had her own child to add to that list. Her body, the thing that kept her going, that allowed her to fight the men and monsters that took away her sister and father and other members of her family, and even her home, had been what failed her this time. Her own body had failed to nurture and sustain her child. And she had to live with that knowledge, with the fear that it could happen again, and maybe the baby would be big enough to...claw its way out of her next time. Perhaps next time would be the last time Glenn had a wife.

– – –

Maggie was unconscious on the bed in the RV due to a sedative Harlan had given her, and Glenn sat with her in the back, the door shut so no one could see them. Denise and Sasha were in the front of the RV, Sasha ready to man the wheel, and Denise was thoroughly cleaning her glasses. Daryl picked at one of his bolts, not acknowledging anybody around him, and Michonne was at the table, fingers laced together, lost in her thoughts.

Rick stepped up into the RV. "I'll be back in just a couple minutes."

Sasha nodded. "We'll be here."

Rick jumped out and strolled to Harlan's office where Carol was pacing, trying to get out of this appointment. He had to talk her into it again, because she didn't want to consider the possibility of her being pregnant after Maggie just lost her child. They came here for both women, and while Maggie's visit had ended in unspeakable tragedy, they had to be sure if Carol was or wasn't pregnant. They really had to know now.

"Where's Harlan?" Rick scanned the room that was vacant save for Carol and himself.

"He's gone to get a pregnancy test. I told him I don't think I'm far enough along for an ultrasound to pick up on anything." Hell, even the test might not.

"How far along do you think you are?"

"I dunno. A couple weeks?" Maybe it was just menopause. Maybe she was overworking herself, which caused her to be sick on the way over. It wouldn't be the first time. And she was near that age, so it could be menopause. She hoped.

"So, it's Tobin's?" Rick guessed, but she said nothing. "You were stayin' with him, so...it's his?"

She protectively wrapped her arms around herself, leaning against the wall. "...mmm."

"If you are, are you gonna tell him?" Rick studied her. "He deserves to know. He's... he's a good guy. I think he'd a good dad too."

Still she say nothing, simply nibbled on her bottom lip, panic and alarm in equal measure filling her eyes at the knowledge of knowing in a few moments she would have tangible confirmation as to whether or not she was pregnant. Either her worst fear in this regard would come to life, or she might feel relief for the first time in far too long.

"Kid's gonna be tall," Rick tried to jest. Tobin was a good six feet plus. Carol was so small compared to him. If the kid got his height, Carol was gonna spend the rest of her life looking up to talk to the kid. Rick hoped Carl didn't get any taller, or he'd have to do the same.

"Rick, please, just stop." She let up on chewing on her lip and hand held up in a stop gesture. "I appreciate the effort, but...please, stop. I feel sick with anxiety, and my sense of humor just isn't...here right now."

He complied with a nod.

Harlan rejoined them, sensing the tension in the room, and he handed Carol the box. He didn't have the equipment to analyze blood or urine, but he had a couple of these lying around here. He had them picked up a while back when a couple of their runners went out. Babies were being born here, and women needed to know. Sooner rather than later, so their shifts and duties could reassigned.

"The bathroom's right in there, and we'll be out here." He offered her his watch. "Here you go."

"Thank you." She accepted both and disappeared into the bathroom.

Once Carol was out of the room, an awkward air spilled into it, and Rick and Harlan exchanged glances. Neither knew what to say to the other. The first time Harlan saw Rick, his group was saving him and his, and the second time Rick was wearing the blood of on his group on his face. Since then he'd only seen Maggie and Glenn, so he didn't know how to address Rick. He seemed warm enough to his own people, but Hilltop and Alexandria were only neighbors, so to speak, and they weren't his people. However he did help them out with those walkers. Him and his, so perhaps.

"Are...you the father?" Harlan broke the silence, stuffing a hand in his pocket.

"What?"

He pointed to the bathroom. "The father? Or...a good friend?" Or brother? Ooh, he hoped not. It was already strain in here without him asking if his sister was pregnant with his kid.

"No, no, I'm not father." Rick set his hand on his pistol when he shifted his weight. "We're...we're family."

"Is the father not around anymore?"

"No, he's around."

Harlan could see he'd only get vague answers from the man, so he abandoned his questions and hopes for a conversation until the lady rejoined them. "I'll go get the prenatal pills, just in case." He busied himself with that task.

"All right then." Rick placed his hands on his hips and waited for Carol.

––

In the small bathroom that reeked of cleaner, Carol stood in front of the mirror. She set the watch down on the counter and opened the box, her hands shaking so violently you'd think she was shaking them intentionally. She paused to take a deep breath, though it did little to set her at ease. She hadn't taken a pregnancy tests in years. She felt foolish taking one now, but it was better to know. If she was or wasn't, it was better to know.

"Okay." She turned to the toilet with the test in hand, compelling her hand to quiet. One way or another, this was happening, so her body needed to calm the hell down. Once it was over, it was over. Well, there was the chance that once this was over, something else...was beginning.

– – –

Rick heard the door open and turned from the poster on the wall to Carol, who was staring down at the test in her hand, and he couldn't read her expression. He started to cross the floor over to her when she dropped the test entirely, and he hurried over when she nearly fell to her knees.

"Carol!" He caught her elbow, his other arm around her back, but thankfully she didn't go down. "Carol?"

"I—I'm fine." She curled her hand around his on her elbow, the other on her her stomach, as if she were going to be hurl. "I—I'm okay."

He didn't agree with her. "Let's get you into a seat." He glanced down and saw the results of the test. His eyes moved back to her, and he pulled her into his arms. "C'mere." He led her over to a chair and eased her into it. "I'll talk to Harlan, get you some water."

Carol wasn't certain if she responded to him, but to be honest, she didn't care. Her mind was torn between being consumed by the results and by the emotion swelling in her chest. She couldn't make heads or tails of the latter, but she was sure about the first. She was positive about it, and so were the results. In digital, black letters the results were positive.