Due to a bit of good news I've received, I decided to share another chapter.


Disclaimer: I own nothing.

––

"So, this is what they'll need?" Rick looked over the items in the bag Harlan had given him.

"I've spoken to Denise on how much to give Maggie, so her body won't overwork itself, and in case she can't calm herself down. They should help her, but as for the emotional damage, it's up to you guys to help her. Denise likely would be great for that, given her major."

"And for Carol?"

"She mentioned she's been pregnant before, so just leave it to her. She'll know what to do with them, and I'd like you to bring her back in a few weeks. We might be able to a read on how far along she actually is once the fetus has grown more."

"This is it?"

"That's it." He smiled. "At least something good happen today." His smile faded some. "Poor Maggie. She's such a kind woman. I hope she'll be okay."

"You and me both."

"When she tries again, don't hesitate to bring her over."

With that, Rick departed the office with Carol who had collected the test for evidence of it being real, and they trudged back to the RV without a word shared between them. The trip back to Alexandria was similar. Were it not for the rumble of the engine, it would have been deathly silent in the RV. The tension was already suffocating, so they were thankful for the rumbling. Some of them anyway.

– – –

Carl and Enid greeted them upon their return, Michonne pulled them aside to let them know what had happened, Enid's big green eyes filled with tears and she ran off, and Carl asked to see Maggie. Michonne said they were going to give her space for now, and he understood. He saw Glenn carrying her out of the RV and towards home, and he asked Michonne if they could get her some flowers to brighten her room. It might cheer her up. Michonne smiled and said they'd go out tomorrow, as it was nightfall, and he gave Daryl a hand with returning the weapons.

Carol and Denise sauntered over to the infirmary together, Carol's prenatal pills hidden in Denise's medical bag, and Denise held a flashlight to guide them on their way. She had vials in the back, and she didn't want to trip and shatter any of them. They were vital, and she was clumsy, but she didn't want Carol to carry them, because she was pretty tuned out right now.

Carol zoned out of her thoughts when wood scraped across the ground, and she looked over at Denise. "They let you keep the spear?"

"Yeah, it was a thank you." She blushed slightly. "I helped a couple of Harlan's patients while he was with Maggie, and they saw how we helped with the walkers, so they let me keep this. They even carved my name into it."

Carol couldn't help but smile at how proud Denise looked at the spear. "You use it well."

"Thanks. I kind of can't wait to show it to Tara. She'll be so impressed."

Carol's mouth dried out at the mention of Tara, but it wasn't because of Tara herself. It was the mention of a significant other. She had one. One she had to inform that he was a father. Or he would be, if this pregnancy stuck. "Yeah, I bet she will be."

"Two weeks, give or take." She opened the door to her home and showed Carol in to the infirmary. "You should be back at Hilltop by then, right?"

"Uh, I don't think so. Rick said a few weeks, not a couple." Carol took the bag from Denise and unloaded it. "Why?"

"I was just making sure. I'm going with you again." She began to place the medicine vials and bottles were they belonged.

"Oh? What for?"

"Well, one day the women here will be getting pregnant and having kids. One day Enid may have children, and we might not be able to make the trip to Hilltop, so I want to broaden my knowledge of this area."

"I think you'll do great."

"Of course there's still tools I'll need, but maybe one day when Daryl's free, we can come up with a plan for that." She shrugged a shoulder. "I'll figure it out later. I need to learn it first."

Carol nodded. "That's everything."

"Going home?"

"It's late, and I have to get some sleep." She cupped the bottle in her hands.

"If you need me for anything, you know where to find me."

She gave a nod as thanks and darted from the home. She would speak to him tomorrow, but for now she had her bags to unpack and sleep to catch up on. She also had to eat dinner. She hadn't had food since this morning, and she couldn't very well go to bed without eating. Rick and Michonne wouldn't let that happen. They were going to be on her ass this entire pregnancy. She could feel it, and there was no beating Michonne off with a stick. She could Rick, but Michonne would fight back. So she might as well get used to it.

Carol tapped her palm over the cap of the bottle. God, she couldn't imagine how Maggie would react to this. She almost didn't want to tell her, but it was enviable. She would start to show, and there would be a baby. She couldn't just pretend that wasn't going to happen, not for Maggie's sake, or her own. It was a reality, and she needed to come to terms with that. That meant she had a lot of shit to work through in only nine months. How in the hell was she going to do this?

––

Glenn placed Maggie on their bed, carefully removing her boots and covering her up with a blanket. He pressed a kiss to her forehead and clicked the light off. He shut the door behind him and made it about halfway down the stairs before crumbling to the floor. He brought a balled fist to his mouth as tears rolled down his cheeks, and he would have punched the wall over and over and over if he thought for a second it could relieve him of this torment bubbling in his chest and filling his heart, staining his soul.

He buried his face in his palms and wept, his body vibrating from the strength of his sobs, and he didn't know if it would end. He knew pain. He knew every fine layer of it, but this raw, gaping gash in his chest was entirely new to him. And he wasn't confident he would survive this.

––

Maggie opened her eyes once Glenn had tugged the door shut, the moonlight drifting in through the open curtains, and she slid her hand underneath the blanket to her stomach, clutching the material of her shirt. A wave of anguish rolled through her, her lips parting as a sob slithered up her throat, but it was a muted cry. She couldn't close her mouth or draw in air as hot pain occupied her chest, even hotter tears cascading down her cheeks, and she felt a burning in her lungs at the air that wouldn't reach.

She felt like she was dying there, between those soft clean sheets and her sweat and snot stained clothes. She had never been this hollow until this moment. She thought she'd felt the worst of losing her blood in the past. Watching Glenn, Andrea, T-dog, Shane, and Daryl form a line and kill her stepbrother, watching Mom grab at Beth's pigtails, hungry for her flesh, Rick and Shane trying to yank her free while T kicked at her until Andrea grabbed the scythe and thrust through her forehead. Seeing Daddy lying there in the grass, bleeding and dying before the Governor finally beheaded him, ending his pain. Seeing Daryl carry Beth's little body out of that hospital, blood staining her beautiful blonde hair, her body so limp in Maggie's arms when she pulled Beth from Daryl. And there were the countless others they'd lost who were family to her too.

However nothing prepared her for this, and as she could finally, finally inhale, she wasn't sure if breathing was a blessing or a curse. It was something her baby never get to do, yet there she was, gasping in air, burying her face in the pillows, digging her nails into her stomach through the layers of her top. It wasn't fair. It wasn't just. This was a pure, innocent life, and it had been snatched away. The mixture of her and Glenn, the combination of genes and traits from their respective families that would live on through this child, had been snatched away. Here one minute then...

If God had a plan for her, she didn't know if she hoped this pain was worth it in the end, or she wanted to say fuck all of it—fuck His plan, fuck any belief she had left, fuck the way she was raise! Her suffering—Glenn suffering—was becoming all to familiar, and she was so tired of it. She wanted something good for the two of them, because the whole group had Alexandria and their own little happiness with other people or themselves. She wanted this baby so badly for her and Glenn, so she could look at this little life they'd made and know it was all worth it, know that God was with them, know that her line and Glenn's would continue on see a world neither of them would know. She wanted that so badly, but it was taken from her—from them—and she didn't know how to cope with that. She didn't know how Carol could do it, losing Sophia. God, how did she survive this?

––

Carol had folded the last blouse when a knock on her bedroom door got her attention. "Come in."

The door opened, and it was Rick—of course—carrying a bowl of something that smelled like heaven, and dear God if he didn't give it to her now, she might have to attack him for it. She swallowed the saliva that flooded her mouth at the smell, and she closed the drawer, stuffing the bag under the bed.

"Michonne made dinner. Well, her and Carl. Anyway, I brought you some."

"It smells great."

He set the bowl on the nightstand with a cup of water. "You settlin' in all right?"

"You don't have to worry about me, Rick. I can do that for myself." She walked around the bed to where he stood. "I'll be fine. I've done this before."

"I know, but I was just checkin' in."

"I'm settling in well. It's the same room I was in a couple weeks ago." She sat down. "Thank you for bringing me dinner. I appreciate it."

"If you need anythin', you know where to find me and Michonne." He lingered for a moment. "Good night, Carol."

"I'll talk to him in the morning," Carol informed him. "I'll let him know about the baby, but I want to keep this among the four of us, okay? With Maggie's situation, I don't think spreading this around is a good idea."

"I agree, and we'll keep your secret." His brows met at the number she'd said. "Wait, four of us?"

"You, Denise, Michonne and myself."

"Right. We'll keep it quiet." He interjected before she could thank him. "You don't need to thank me, Carol. You really don't. You're family, and...I'd do anythin' for you."

She could see he was sincere, and she offered a small smile. "Good night, Rick." She pulled her legs up and folded them, the door closing as he walked out, and she helped herself to the meal Michonne had thoughtfully prepared for them. She stirred it with the spoon. "Let's hope your father is as accepting and helpful as Rick, Michonne and Denise." She didn't see any reason why he wouldn't be, but this was a curve ball neither of them expected. Who could really say how he'd react? Frankly, she wasn't entirely sure what her own reaction was.

– – –

"We'll go and get Morgan," Rick said to Michonne and Rosita, now that he had convinced Daryl that they needed to bring him home. Rick had to twist the truth a lot, playing on Morgan's unwillingness to kill people and that was putting him at risk to guilt Daryl into coming along; however, the task of convincing Daryl was simpler than he thought it'd he. Daryl seemed eager to get out of Alexandria for a bit. Rick didn't blame him for wanting to separated himself from the heartache staining the streets. "We'll be back as soon as we can, but keep an eye on things here." He was talking directly to Michonne about two particular things.

"I've looked in on Maggie," Rosita told him. "She won't eat or speak, but she's drinking fluids. She cried a lot last night, so that's probably why. I'll try and get some broth in her later today."

"Have Denise try and talk to her tomorrow, if we're not back by then."

"Will do." She turned on her heel and marched off as Spencer walked over.

"We've got the car gassed up and ready." Spencer glanced at Rosita's quickly retreating figure. "Daryl's already there."

"See you when we get back." He walked toward the gate, stopping when Michonne called to him. "Yeah?"

"Are you sure it's a good idea to take Daryl? Won't Morgan tell him about why he was out there?"

"I can't take Glenn, and I need you to be here for Carol. Denise has her hands full with the infirmary and her studies and soon Maggie. She has too much to do, and there's no one else I can take who can find Morgan."

"Aaron could go with you."

"He ain't as good at trackin' as Daryl. Besides how I could explain switching him out?"

She sighed. "Just be careful and try to catch Morgan alone, if you can. Carol has enough on her plate without Daryl beating down her door to ask why she left in the first place."

"I'm curious about that myself, but it isn't my place to ask." If it were anybody's, he'd have to say it was Daryl's. They were close, and if she'd tell anybody, it was him. Likely why she moved in with Tobin, to make her escape easier. Poor guy. He was used and dumped, and now after that, he was a father. One hell of a week for him. "I'll see you when I get back." He kissed her gently then placed a kiss to the forehead of the toddler in her arms. "Be good for her, okay?"

Judith burbled, and Michonne laughed. "She makes no promises."

Rick chuckled. "Be safe."

"You too." She adjusted Judith and watched him depart, nuzzling the child to her. "C'mon, Judy, let's go see how Carl's doing in class then we'll see how your aunts are holding up." She patted her back lightly and strolled toward the school.

––

Carol ambled down the road, seeing people hard at work with their duties, and she spotted Aaron and Eric on their porch. She thought he might have sent a smile, but she couldn't be sure. She'd worry about it later, but for now she had to speak with Tobin. Aaron was right that she did need to speak with him, and the sooner the better. She didn't want him coming to their house and causing a scene, though Tobin wasn't the make-a-scene type of guy. He was a good one, like Rick had said, and he deserved to have a clean break up, so she would provide that. This was new territory for her. She'd never broken up with anybody before, so this ought to be awkward and painful, considering what she did to him.

She ascended the steps to his house and knocked on the door. When no answer came, she worried he might have left for his job already, but a moment later the lock came undone and there he stood. He drank her in, shell-shocked to see her there, and he opened the door wide to let her inside. She entered, and he closed the door behind her.

"I'm surprised you haven't left for your shift yet." She stood in the hallway in front of him, arms crossed.

"Glenn took over for Abraham. I let him, so he could keep busy. I heard about what happened over at Hilltop. I just wanted to give him something to take his mind off the...baby." He cleared his throat and aped her by crossing his arms. "So, you're back. Since when?"

"Since yesterday." She moistened her lips. "I'm not sorry I left like that. I had—and still have—things I needed to deal with on my own, and I couldn't afford for any of you to follow me. I can't explain it to you, but I came to say I am sorry I worried you."

"Why leave and then come back? You made it clear you didn't want us to come after you, and you just walked out on me. Why did you come back?"

"It's complicated."

"I think you can un-complicate it," he stated. "You owe me that, at least. I mean, you did ditch out in the middle of the night."

"For reasons you can't begin to understand," she pointedly added.

"Fine, you have a past you won't share with me. I get that. But would mind sharing why you left as you did only to show up a couple days later? Was it a prank? Because I don't think it was funny, and Rick wasn't too fond of it either. I can only imagine how Morgan took it. He's still out there looking for you, you know!"

"Rick and Daryl have gone to bring him back, and no, it wasn't a prank! I intended to stay gone, but I found something out that made me have to return."

"And that was?"

"I'm pregnant." She lowered her arms and pulled the test from her pocket, extending it to him. "The doctor at Hilltop gave me a test, and it confirmed my hunch. I am pregnant, and though I don't know how far along I am, I can assume a couple weeks."

He gaped at her then reached out for the wall and sat down on the steps slowly. He grew ashen, and he blinked. A lot. He dared himself to look at the test, and when he eventually did, he couldn't look away. "You—you're pregnant?"

"Yes." She inched forward until she was sitting beside him on the steps and laid the test down between them. "I was hoping I was wrong. I was hoping for menopause or—almost anything else, to be honest—but the facts are facts."

"H—how did you know?"

"When I was pregnant with my daughter..." she trailed off, unable to reopen those memories. "It felt the same, and I was late. The first two days out there, I was very queasy, and I had hoped it was a bug. Something I caught because I was sleeping out in the open, but that wasn't the case."

"How are you feeling now?" He peered at her.

"I'm fine." She rubbed her hands together. "Everything seems...still, at least for now."

He dragged a hand down his jaw. "Uh...aren't the first couple of weeks...risky?"

She nodded. "Who can say if it'll stick, but if it does... Well, I thought you should know."

"I—uh, I need some time to...think about this." He climbed to his feet, his legs barely holding him up. "I'm sorry, but I really need to...uh, I need some time."

"I don't blame you for needing time. This isn't exactly small news." She rose up off the steps. "I know you didn't want this or expect this, but it happened, and I don't expect anything from you, Tobin. I'm not even sure I would know what to expect from you, but you deserved to know. If nothing goes wrong and when you're ready to talk, you know where to find me."

"Yeah."

She showed herself out and the stillness that was once there had vanished. She slipped behind the house on her way back, in case she was sick. She didn't want to heave in a rosebush or draw any attention to herself, so the back way it was. Besides she liked the shade the houses provided, and if she were to walk in the street, she might be tempted to visit Maggie. She knew Maggie needed time and distance from sympathetic eyes, and she would give it to her. After all, she knew the pain of losing a child in this new world.

––

Rosita sat in the doorway to Maggie's bedroom, peering in her on from time to time. She knew there were a million other things she could be doing, but she might run into Sasha, and she didn't want to make conversation with her. It would be uncomfortable for both of them, like any conversation she might have with Spencer, and she'd rather avoid that for as long as possible. Plus Maggie needed someone to keep an eye her, make sure she drank and didn't push herself too hard.

Glenn had headed out to join the construction team. No one argued. He was the type of man to busy himself in heartache, and they had plenty to do. Rosita had seen him before the crew drove out, and he wasn't in the mood to be approached. It seeped out of him like the air he exhaled, and she was grateful Tobin had decided to stay in, a day off he likely needed, and let Glenn take his place. He needed this. They all could tell. Hopefully this helped him with the anger portion of loss. If not, they might have to get the guy a punching bag. She'd suggest Abe, but Glenn could take him, especially with all the rage and sorrow he held inside.

She set her head against the frame of the door, Maggie slept on, and Rosita worried for her. She was tempted to have Denise set up shop in here to keep an eye on her, keep her fed and alive. Maggie didn't appear to care about doing those things for herself, so they would have to. They would until Glenn was ready do it himself. He couldn't fight his way out of a wet paper bag right now, nor could he see the purpose behind this loss. She'd seen him look like this before when Maggie lost her sister and again with Tyreese. With Noah...Glenn was distraught, his core thrown off balance, and he floundered. But he had Maggie to ground him. He didn't have that now—neither of them had the other—and they were drowning alone. God only knew how long until they hit the bottom.

Rosita clambered to her feet at Denise coming up the steps, and she halted her. "No more drugs."

"Excuse me?"

"Don't give her any more sedatives. She needs to have a clear head, and it sucks, and it'll be hard, but she needs to get through this without sedatives."

"I haven't given her anything," Denise admitted. "I've checked her pulse and blood pressure, among other things, but I haven't given her anything."

Rosita glanced over her shoulder. "So, she's been in bed all day of her own choosing?"

"What did you expect?" Denise walked by her. "She has a lot to work through. I wouldn't get out of bed either."

"But she's asleep," Rosita protested. "I can hear her snoring. It's light, but it's there. She's been asleep all day? Without any help?"

"She might not have slept last night. She was crying pretty hard when I checked in on her last. She'll find her way back. You don't have to hover over her." She offered a kind smile. "Go home. Go on guard duty. Just get some air, all right? Being cooped up in here isn't good for you."

"Is that why you opened her window?"

"That, and it's a nice day." She crossed over to Maggie's bed and gently clasped her wrist, finding her pulse, and she bent down beside her, looking over her pale features. She appeared as if she aged ten years over night. Poor woman. Denise's heart went out to her, and she hoped this wound would heal quickly. She doubted it would, but she would be here as much as Maggie would allow to aid her through this.

Maggie's brow creased, a soft moan escaped through parted lips, and her eyes fluttered open. Denise's blurry figure came into focus a moment later, and she felt a dryness in the back of her throat. She saw the water on the nightstand beside her, their first and only sonogram behind it, and tears stung in her eyes at the memory of yesterday. She was stunned she had tears remaining in her. She thought she'd cried them all out last night, but apparently not.

"Shh." Denise tried to sooth her, but Maggie moved away. "Mag—"

"Get out." She hugged her legs to her chest, her voice unfamiliar and hoarse. "Both of you—get out."

Denise nodded. "There's water on the nightstand. If you need us, you know where we'll be."

Rosita's heart sank at the whisper of Maggie's sobs following them down the stairs, and she came off the last, marching on out the front door, because she couldn't stand to hear another second of her crying. She couldn't help her. Nobody could help her. And Maggie didn't need them lingering while she mourned, Denise was right about that. Maybe later she'd try and get her to eat. If not, there was plenty of broth.

– – –

Michonne sat across from Carol in her bedroom. "How are you feeling?"

"I dunno." She stitched the hole in the pair of jeans she found in the laundry room, trying to busy herself since she wasn't allow in the kitchen or on any shifts. "I'm a little tired, but that's because I didn't sleep well last night."

"Did you take your pill?"

"Rick watched me take it this morning." Her annoyance bleed into her words. "Apparently I have to be watched like a prisoner these days."

"We're just trying to—"

"I know." She stopped sewing and met Michonne's onyx eyes. "I know. I get it. I do, but I don't need a constant babysitter. I'm not going to leave in this condition. Do I have to give you my word?"

"It wouldn't mean much. You've spun tales for the people here, and you'd try to do the same to me."

"You wouldn't buy it."

"No, I wouldn't, and I am going to look in on you. You say you won't leave in this condition, does that mean you'll leave once you have the baby? Or if you lose it?"

Carol returned to her sewing. "I don't know what the future holds. If I do, if I figure it out, I'll let you know."

"Would you really leave your child? A newborn? We don't even have formula, powered or otherwise. You would do that?"

Her head snapped up. "If this goes that far, trust me, this child will do much better without me in their life."

Michonne noted the torment in those glacial spheres, and she would have asked why that was, but she knew. She knew about Sophia, and she knew how it felt to lose Andre. She carried that with her every day, and she knew where Carol was coming from; nevertheless, she could sense that there was more to the story than simply Sophia. She wouldn't press the issue, but there was much more to this story, to her pain, than she or Rick knew.

"I should check on Judith." Michonne slipped off the bed and out of the room, pausing once in the hall to ask, "Did you tell Tobin?"

"He needs time to think." She couldn't blame him. She needed time to think herself. She needed more time than she had. Nine months, if this stuck. She had nine months to get her shit together, because a new life was going to need her. She didn't like that. A life needing her. She had failed in every type of mothering role she'd taken on. She didn't know how she was going to do this, but she needed to work through what happened with the girls. She needed to be able to do whatever it would take for this child, so she had to work through it. She wasn't sure if she could do it, but it wasn't just her. She would give this child its best chance to survive this world. She would protect this child like she hadn't been able to protect Sophia or Mika. To do that, she had to give herself a clean slate, but it wouldn't as easy as that. It was going to take a while, it was going to take tears and time and patience with herself. She didn't know if she could that here, but she had no choice, because at the end of the day, there was nowhere else to go.