Disclaimer: I own nothing.

––

Rick spotted the barn and heard a horse nickering in the distance. He had Daryl search around the other way as he crept toward the horse. As he neared, he was almost met with a stick to the face. Luckily both he and Morgan had good reflexes, and Rick moved aside.

"Well, it's good to see you too." Rick smirked at his old friend.

"What are you doing here?"

"We came to get you. Carol came back." He saw the confusion in Morgan's eyes. "She had a...situation, one she couldn't handle alone, so she returned to Alexandria. Daryl and I came to bring you back."

"She came back? What was the situation?"

"I'll let her tell you, if she wants, but I need you to not mention her leaving. Daryl doesn't know, and it's really complex. If you want the truth, you'll have to hear it from her mouth."

Morgan nodded. "Found a horse."

"That you did." Rick approached the horse, remembering the one he found his first time out of his hometown after he woke up from the coma. Just like old times, he thought to himself. "Wanna ride it back? Safer than leavin' it out here by itself."

"Better than walkin'," Morgan agreed.

"You're pretty close to where we found the car. Were you circlin' back?" Rick grasped the reins and guided the horse out of the pin.

"Yeah. I lost her trail, thought I might find it again if I backtracked. Guess I know why I lost her." He stroked the horse's snout. "Is she all right?"

"Tired of me and Michonne gettin' on her, but yeah, she's all right."

"Rick?"

"That'd be Daryl." He handed the reins to Morgan. "Yeah, over here, Daryl! I found him."

Daryl rounded the corner and met the pair. "We bringin' him with us?" He glanced at the horse. "Hope Abe won't mind buildin' a stable on top of everythin' else." They'd already had him and the crew blueprint a pin for the animals they were getting from Hilltop.

"We are." Morgan patted the horse's shoulder. "I can lend him a hand."

Daryl nodded. "You ready to head back? It'll be dark soon."

"Yeah, I'm ready." He smiled at the horse. "Seems my job was done for me."

"What job?"

Rick shot Morgan an inconspicuous glare.

Morgan simply shook his head, mounting the horse. "It's nothing." The horse trotted him toward Alexandria.

"He had a job?"

"Hell if I know." Rick followed after the horse. "C'mon, and we might make it back before nightfall."

Daryl didn't like the way Rick said that, or the look he sent Morgan. It was barely there, but Daryl could have sworn he saw a panic in Rick's eyes. He didn't understand what the hell was going on, but Rick was in on it, and possibly even Morgan. If involved the job Morgan was sent out here to do, or that Morgan took upon himself to complete. If he found out what that job was, he might find out what the hell was going on with Rick and Carol. It all seemed connected, but he didn't have proof. Morgan wasn't the type to lie without a good reason. Maybe if Daryl prodded him, he'd get an answer. Morgan was a good guy. He might just straight up tell him, if he asked. Either way, he was gonna prod the fuck out of him and Rick and maybe even Carol to get answers, because they were hiding something from him.

– – –

Enid made herself at home in the living room the next morning, taking glances at the stairs, pulling her legs in tighter and continuing to scribble in her notebook. She had finished her shift and was just hanging out to keep an ear on Maggie. She didn't want to hover or crowd Maggie, but she wanted to be nearby. She knew heartache, and she knew Maggie had endured more than she ever have had to, and maybe Enid didn't fully understand it, but she could be here. Maggie might not want company, but on the off chance that she did, Enid was here. Besides if she wasn't here, Rosita would be, and Enid and Denise both agreed Rosita needed to get out of the house for a time. She had her own duties and life to live, and while her concern was sweet, it was going to drill her into the ground. Thus Enid being on Maggie duty it was.

Glenn entered the house, sweat staining the front of his shirt, a pair of worn gloves in his right hand, and he didn't acknowledge Enid with anymore than a possible head nod. He might have been lowering his head. She couldn't be sure, and she didn't want to call out to him. He looked beyond rough, and she didn't want to interfere with his healing process unless it was hurting him more than helping him. He inching toward hurting every second.

"Rick found a horse," Glenn spoke to her, his voice a croak, dry as his throat.

Enid lowered her legs. "Yeah?"

"Yeah, he's—he's all saddled up, pretty used to people, so he probably belonged to someone recently. Morgan and I are gonna make a stable for him and any other horses we come across."

"I thought Abe was in charge of construction."

"Yeah, he has a new project with Eugene. Uh, I haven't heard the full story, but if it works out, it'll be great for us—for the community." She nodded. "Why don't you go check on the horse? Carl's already over there. You can help brush him down."

"Carl, or the horse?" Enid mused.

Glenn didn't bite. "I have to get back to work, but you should go and have a look."

"After lunch," Enid promised, "I'll go and see him, but...I'm kinda pooped after my shift, and I'm in the middle of writing, so..."

"All right." He cleared his throat and his gaze momentarily flitted to the stairs, but all too soon he drifted out the door he'd only just walked through, and Enid was alone again.

She released a sigh and pressed her lips together. "Goodbye to you too." She rested her head on a cushion and began to write once more. At least it was progress. He hasn't spoken a word to her or anybody this morning, just threw himself head first into other people's work. Improvement. It was something.

––

Carol meandered through the garden, watering the plants that Maggie had been all but pleading to grow weeks ago, and she found a little comfort there in the greens and the browns, the rich scents of the earth pleasant. She had eluded her wardens this morning and asked Trudy for her shift. She wasn't allowed to do anything else, and gardening was supposedly therapeutic and good for you. It could only help her.

She shook her head, smiling sardonically. Help her. She wasn't sure anything could actually help her. She couldn't get space here, and she wouldn't for the next nine months. She couldn't turn without hitting Rick or Michonne. At least Denise didn't live with them. She was grateful for that. Although if Denise did stay with them, she wouldn't pester Carol half as much. She had her own job to do, and she didn't have time to get on Carol. Unlike Rick and Michonne who seemed to have worked it into their daily schedules.

She shouldn't complain. They were being kind. They were looking after her. She loved them very much, and she was glad they cared so much, but their persistent presence wasn't helping her. She longed for distance and time to sort through things. With their prodding and poking, she couldn't think about anything, let alone the real issues in her life. She had to find a place that was safe within Alexandria, a place they weren't likely to find her, and she needed to find it relatively soon. She couldn't handle being asked how she was one more time. She wasn't fine. She wasn't okay. She was falling apart, but putting on a good show so they wouldn't know just how broken she was. There wasn't enough glue or tape to hold her together, but she had to try when they were around. So the less they were around, the less she had to try. If she could make them understand this without having to elucidate the reason behind it, she would have done it the moment they were safe and out of Terminus.

But she couldn't. Maybe one day she'd have the words to clear it all up, but not today. Today she was simply watering the veggies and ensuring their growth. She had seen Rick and Hershel work on their crop many times, and Hershel didn't just give her tips on how to treat a wound. She could probably grow a small garden all on her own. She might have to one day, if this all worked out. Well, worked out wasn't the right way to word it.

She bent down to examine the growing tomato plant, and as she reached out, a voice called to her. She nearly laughed at her luck, and she gazed up at the moment he stopped beside her.

"Hey."

"Hey." She narrowed her eyes to shield them from the sunlight. "You're back?"

Daryl bobbed his head. "Found Morgan last night, came in this mornin'."

"He wasn't that far away?"

"Nah, said he was circlin' back. We got lucky, coulda been out there a while."

"I saw the horse. I guess you two brought him in."

"Yeah, Morgan found him in a pin."

"He looks good, healthy, like Flame did." She cast her gaze to the plants once more. "There were no problems?"

"Not with Morgan."

"Shouldn't that be a good thing?"

He shifted his weight beside the woman who felt a million miles away. "What's goin' on with you?" He gulped, unable to clear the lump in his throat. "Did somethin' happen...when I was out with Rosita and Denise?"

"No, Daryl, nothing happened." She stood up, brushing the dirt off her hands. "Nothing's going on with me." She couldn't look him in the eye.

"Again with the lies." His voice softened. "I'm here for you, Carol. You know that. Whatever's eatin' you, you can tell me."

She tempted herself and looked over at him, her mouth opening to spill the beans, but she saw Tobin in the distance. He had halted at the sight of her and Daryl talking, obviously not wanting to interrupt their conversation, and her mouth ran dry. She couldn't take her eyes off of him, but she couldn't handle talking to him. Being close to Daryl, being close to spilling it all—she needed to cap this, wrap it all up in a tight bow and pretend it didn't exist. At least until she found a way to get through it.

"I have to check on Judith."

She was gone before Daryl could get another word out, and he frowned. He had seen the answers to his questions in her eyes. He had seen her on the edge of telling him everything, but she stopped. She stopped and peeled out as quickly as she could. He didn't understand why, or what was going on with her. He normally had an inkling. He and Carol were close, good friends, and he could tell when something was off. He could nearly guess it sometimes, mostly the small stuff, but he had no clue what it was this time. He was in the dark, and she wanted him to remain there, despite wanting to let the cat out of the bag. It was right there, on the tip of her tongue...then poof! Gone. Like her. What the hell happened?

He scratched the back of his head and turned, finding Tobin a ways away, holding something thin and small in his hand, watching where Carol had retreated to. He narrowed his eyes at the man and approached him. If it had to do with Tobin, if he had hurt Carol in some way, Daryl would end him. No one would hurt Carol, not like Ed had. If it was physical or emotional abuse, Tobin would be swallowing his teeth for lunch. So help him God, if he put his hands on her...

Tobin backed up at Daryl's rapid shot over to him, and he nearly wanted to turn tail and bolt. But he figured if he did that, he'd only wind up with an actual bolt in his ass. Obviously Daryl knew and had heard. He and Carol were best friends, and he must not have liked the way Tobin handle the whole pregnancy situation. He wasn't too thrilled with his reaction either, but it was done. He intended to make amends, but that might not be sufficient.

"Before you go off," Tobin hurriedly remarked, "I am going to talk to her. I know it was a poor reaction, but she said she understood. We agreed on space."

Daryl glowered. "'Poor reaction'?"

"Okay, it was shit, all right? I didn't plan on this happening, certainly not in this...way. I mean, after what she did, and now she springs this on me?" He gripped the test tightly. "I just need to speak with her. That's all."

"She doesn't seem interested in talkin' to you right now, suggest you give her some room for a bit. Don't you got a job to do around here anyway?" Daryl's voice was rougher than normal, an acute edge to it, and Tobin didn't have to know Daryl to know there would be no negotiating.

"You're right. I'll...drop by later, after my shift." He remembered the pregnancy test in his hand and nearly gave it to Daryl to give it to Carol, but he would do it himself when he saw her. He didn't want to remain in the same area as the clearly pissed off Dixon.

– – –

"Still no appetite?" Denise searched Maggie's hollow green eyes. "Would you at least drink some broth?"

"Later." She inhaled. "I'm not thirsty right now. I just want to...to be left alone."

"I'll be back in an hour to bring you your lunch." She slipped off the bed. "If you drink all of it, I'll leave you be for the rest of the day. I'll have Glenn bring you dinner, or Enid. She seems eager to lend me a hand. She's really worried about you. We all are."

"I don't know what to tell you." She rested her chin on her knees. "I lost my child, and I can't be around all of you right now. I need...to figure out where I am now. That's hard to do with people comin' in and askin' me how I am, or do I need anythin'." Tears rose up in her milky green eyes. "I don't have an answer for 'em either. How the hell I am supposed to feel?"

Denise ducked her head. "Do you want me to answer that?"

"Yeah, I do." She looked at the blonde woman now. "I can't figure it out, so why don't you tell me what I should be feelin'? You're a head doctor, right? What the hell is going on with me?"

"I...don't know what—"

"Try." Maggie stared at her. "Try to put what you see into words, so you can relay it to them, and they'll stop askin' me."

Denise lifted her chin. "Empty. I say you are hollow, like a vase, and there's nothing you feel can fill that huge, hollow hole. Everything that tries...deflects, and all that remains is the weight of that hollowness. It's like...a black hole, sucking in everything—all your hopes and beliefs and thoughts of a second chance, of a family. It's tearing you to pieces, but all you feel...is nothing. Nothing can touch you, fill you, warm you, comfort you, because there's nothing there inside of you that feels it can reach out and reciprocate the gesture. It's like staring at a book, but all you see are white, clear pages, and all they...all we on the outside...see are the stars and the universe."

Maggie shuddered, tears splashing down onto her cheeks, and she snuffled. "Kind of a long response to how are you, but...it fits."

"I'll be back at lunch."

"Before you go," Maggie called to her, "could you tell me where Glenn is?" He hasn't been back to see her since he first carried her upstairs yesterday. He didn't come to bed. She had coiled up on one end, so there was plenty of room, which meant he was steering clear of her. Or he was burying himself wholeheartedly in some task like after what happened to them with Merle and the Governor. He immersed himself in maintenance, and he was doing it again now. Wasn't he? She didn't blame him. At least he could get out of bed. Although he may never have gotten into it in the first place.

"He's with Abe's team, working on extending the wall. He's taking over for Abe in a couple hours when Abe, Eugene, Carl and Rick leave for a run." She caught the details in passing.

"If you see him, tell him I'd like to him to come home."

"Of course."

"Thank you, Denise," Maggie called to the woman disappearing down the hall, and she was thankful Denise didn't turn around. She didn't want anyone to see the mess of tears she was about to become. For something so empty, the agony and the tears seemed to occupy every inch of her insides, crushing her lungs and stomping out her will to get out of bed. It kept piling on, like she was being pressed, massive rocks being slammed down on her chest, one after another. She feared she'd be crushed by the weight of it, but the truth was...she already had been compressed into a fine, gory puddle.

The wind blew in from the open window, ruffling her short locks, and she could smell honeysuckle, the tears burning even more. It reminded her of the farm, of Shawn tending to the animals, of Daddy and Mom laughing and loving each other and all three of them, of Patricia and Otis working the crops, of Beth running around on chunky toddlers legs, trying to keep up with all of them, flaxen pigtails flailing in the wind, her giggles just as infectious.

Maggie rocked herself back and forth on the mattress, arms locked around her body, and she wailed gently. She kept imagining the the little legs of baby Greene-Rhee darting here and there after they'd taught their baby to walk, but that wouldn't be anytime soon. Any month soon. Maybe not even any year soon.

– – –

Abraham loaded the last beam onto the truck and knocked on the side to let the others know it was safe to drive it to the site, wiping his brow. He spotted Tobin sitting on the side of a bulldozer, off in his own little world, and he joined him, knowing this wasn't the place to be doing that. They also had a lot of work to get done, and Abe and Eugene were taking Rick and Michonne to the bullet factory to be, so he needed Tobin to keep them in line, get the work done as he had in the past. He'd trust Glenn with it, if Glenn were in his right mind, but he wasn't. He was venting, and Abe would let him be. Sometimes you just have to beat the shit out of something to feel better. He understood that, respected it even.

"You know, there are other places for a man to get lost in thoughts without the risk of a walker snackin' on you," Abraham reported.

Tobin squinted up at the ginger. "I came here to work."

"Well, work's about ten minutes that-a-way." Abe pointed behind them.

He buried his face in his palm. "I have a lot on my mind right now."

"I'll bet. Woman runs off in the night, comes back a couple days later—that'd throw any man into confusion."

Tobin shook his head. "It's not her leaving and returning that's...shaken me." He pulled the test from his pocket and showed it to the man. "It's this."

Abraham sucked on his teeth. "Well, shit on a stick." He folded his arms over his chest. "You're gonna be a father?" Was something going around the air, or some shit? Man, he needed to watch himself.

"Yeah." He sagged against the bulldozer. "I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this. She says I don't have to be involved, but...it's my kid. I mean, if this... if this baby makes it and is born...I'm a father. How can I not be involved?"

"That is a pickle." He didn't like to talk about children. He had been happy for Glenn and Maggie, though he didn't understand why you'd want to procreate in this world. He looked at Judith sometimes and saw his own kids, torn apart and dead. He never wanted that to happen again. Kids were off the table for the rest of his life, but for people like Maggie and Glenn, kids were the future, and he supported them, in their first try and in their next. It just wasn't for him. Might not be for Tobin either, by how the man looked. "How do you feel about this whole thing?"

"I just said—"

"Bullshit. You know how you feel about it," Abe interjected. "Tell me how you feel about possibly bein' a father in nine months."

"I dunno. The idea of it scares me shitless. I remember what happened when the wall fell...when we all had to take on those walkers..." He was right beside Carol, fighting shoulder to shoulder, and it didn't scare him. But this? A small, helpless, vulnerable child? Terrifying, even more so than the walkers that nearly devoured him were it not for Tara and Rosita. "Now add a kid to that? Anyone's kid being in that mess would be devastating, but for it to be my own flesh and blood...?" He abandoned Francine to die when walkers swarmed this area, but Abe took charge and saved her. Abe did that, while he cowered away. What kind of man was he?

"You wouldn't be paralyzed." Abraham met his eyes. "When it's your own kid or kids on the line? It's a whole new level, and you don't have time for fear or second guessing. You face your shit—be it walkers, be it weather, be it people who wanna kill you or worse. You grit your teeth and do whatever the hell needs to be done to get back to them, to keep 'em safe. You wake up in this whole...other state of mind." He chuckled. "Actually, you don't ever shut down...even when they're gone."

Tobin noted the flash in Abraham's eyes. "I wanted to talk to her, but Daryl wouldn't let me anywhere near her. He's probably just waiting to kick my ass."

Abe remembered the embrace Daryl gave Carol after she saved them from being food, and he remembered the stress on his face when she was taken by those Negan assholes. He nearly laughed in Tobin's face. Kick his ass? Tobin would be lucky to walk away from the man. "I'm not gonna say he's harmless, but if you're honest with him, and if you're good to Carol, you two ought to be square."

"You think?"

"He's a good man, honorable, protective. He wants the best for Carol, so you treat her right, stand by her, and he shouldn't...hand you your ass too bad." He smirked at the grimace that crossed the man's face. "It might go tits up, but...with Carol, you get Daryl. It's like a package deal, those two." He figured they were together from that sweet embrace, but apparently that wasn't the case. There was something there. He wasn't the type of man who easily picked up on that, but anyone who'd ever been around the two—save for maybe Tobin here—could pick up on that shit. Ooh, that could be why Daryl was being so hostile. If so, Tobin didn't stand a chance. He might want to be there for that.

Tobin nodded and slid off the bulldozer. "Thanks for the talk, Abraham."

"Just get your ass back to work so I can head out and meet Rick." He smirked again. "And talk to the damn woman. This won't get anywhere till you do."

"Yeah."

Abe chuckled to himself, Tobin hurried to catch up with the rest of the team, and Abe started back to his car to meet Rick and the others. An accidental pancake this time. Well, he hoped this one fared better than Maggie and Glenn's. He knew the pain they were going through, and he had no words for them, but even though it'd sting like a motherfucker, seeing another baby being born would be a good thing. It'd give them a boast. Second chances, second tries, were worth it. Hell, third and fourth chances and tries were worth it, if Sasha taught him anything. Just have to keep at it. Eventually, when the time was right, it'd happen. Till then they just have to grit their teeth and keep going strong. It was easier said than done, but most things that were worth it were worth the wait.

––

Michonne and Enid were preparing dinner trays for Maggie and Carol, Denise was currently caught up with a patient who had broken his thumb while working, so it was up to them to feed these women. Michonne didn't mind. She wanted to keep tabs on them, and she enjoyed cooking in the kitchen. It was like old times, only in some ways better. In others ways, it ached, but it was becoming a pleasant ache. An old friend she knew was always around but only visited now and then.

"I'll take this to Maggie." Enid tucked hair behind her ear. "Or I can take Carol's."

"Actually," a new voice said from the doorway, "I can carry it up to her."

Michonne looked at Tobin. "Is she expecting you?"

"No, but we need to talk."

"Sure." She slid the tray over the counter lightly toward him. "I have to take the wall in a couple minutes anyway."

Enid glanced from Michonne to Tobin, picking up on...something there. "Rick and the others ought to be back soon, right?"

"Should be." She collected the baby monitor from the counter. "I'm going to give this to Rosita, so she can keep an eye on the little one."

Enid picked up the tray for Maggie and glanced at Tobin. "It'll get cold, you know. Soup doesn't stay hot forever."

"Right." He grasped the handles. "Uh...where's her room?"

She laughed. "You don't know?"

"Well, she used to come to my house, so...no."

"Down the hall to the right." She pointed with her index finger. "Knock first."

"Will do." He lifted the tray from the counter and pounded up the stairs, finding his way to Carol's room. He had to knock with the tip of his boot, but she answered. "Hey."

She looked over him and the tray. "You brought me dinner?" Why did Michonne think she couldn't walk?

"Michonne made it, I think, but yeah."

She let him in and gestured to the nightstand. "I'll eat it in a bit. I'm a little busy right now."

"Actually, I came to talk to you." He did as instructed with the tray and faced her. "About the baby."

"You want to talk about this right now?"

"Yes. I've spoken to Abe, and I realized what I wanted from this."

"You told Abraham I was pregnant?" She stared.

"Is that a problem?"

She sank her teeth into her bottom lip and shook her head. Shit. If word got back to Daryl, he was going to chew her out. Not only did she not tell him first, but the entire community of Alexandria knew about her pregnancy before him. He was her closest friend, but she hadn't told him she was pregnant. She had avoided him altogether, been terse with him, so now...when he found out—if he found out—by someone else, he'd feel like none of it mattered. All they endured together, all of their conversations and jokes and teasing meant nothing to her. He'd feel like he was the furthest person from her, when that wasn't true. He was the only person in the entire world she would want to know she was pregnant—if things hadn't happened they way did at the grove.

However what occurred at the grove between Lizzie and Mika, between Lizzie and Carol, and almost between Lizzie and Judith, had happened. She couldn't ignore that. It changed her without and within. She had to do something she never thought she was capable of, and she didn't know how to live with herself. She was different now, no denying that, and she was petrified of having this child, of what could happen to this child whether she was there or not. Like she'd told Michonne, perhaps this baby would be better off with someone else. She had lost Sophia, because her little girl wasn't prepared for this world. She wasn't able to defend herself, and Carol couldn't protect her either. She had lost Mika to Lizzie, because Carol had put a knife in her hand and taught her how to use it. She had to killed Lizzie to keep her from harming Judith and Tyreese and herself while they slept. And now she was with child. She would be a mother again to a child conceived with a man she didn't love. A man she had, in fact, used to distance herself from Daryl and their family so she could do what needed to be done to flee these walls, these people and this town.

She knew without a shadow of a doubt Tobin wouldn't notice the changes like Daryl would have, like Rick or Maggie or Glenn might have. She picked him, because he was a caring man, a good man, and he was oblivious to the world, to what this new world did to people. He still had his innocence. He hadn't seen what she'd seen, didn't await the things she awaited, and she used that against him. And the product of her using him was this baby. That was the price of separating herself from the group. A child. One she didn't ask for, one she didn't want—at least not in this world, not with her in this twisted, dark mindset, not...with the shadow of Lizzie hovering over her.

"Carol?" Tobin hadn't been aware she didn't hear anything he'd just said, but at the sight of her eyes hazing over, he stopped talking. "Are you all right?"

Pure panic dug its way up her throat, the roomed tilted, her breathing grew shallow, and Tobin's figure blurred. She lost her hold on the world and fainted, and Tobin caught her before she hit the ground, holding her in his arms.

"Carol? Carol?" He gently shook her. "Oh, God. Michonne! Enid!" He scooped her up into his arms, stepping out of her room and hurrying down the hall where Michonne met him, katana strapped to her back, and Enid ran out from the kitchen. "She—she just fainted!"

"Did she hit her head, or anything?" Michonne reached for the dooknob to take her to Denise.

"No, we were just talking, and then she seemed out of focus and then she fainted." He was filled with trepidation. He had only just come around to the idea of being a dad. Had it been taken away already? "Is—is this what happened to Maggie? Is the baby all right?"

"Baby?!" Enid exclaimed, staring wide-eyed at Carol. "She's pregnant?!"

"I don't know what's going on." Michonne declared, "We'll get her to Denise, have her take a look, and if it's serious, we'll take her to Harlan. Let's just get her to Denise first."

The four sped to Denise's with Enid in the front. The young girl yanked the front door open and yelled for Denise, who was laughing with the man who'd broken his thumb. Immediately the laughter died, Tobin carried in Carol, and Denise shot over to them, pointing to the gurney they should put her down on. Michonne remained by her head, Tobin by her side, holding her hand, and Enid in the doorway, panting, still staring at Carol. Denise immediately got to work on the unconscious woman.

"Is she okay?" Tobin demanded. "Can you find out if the baby is or...or will be okay?"

"I don't know." Denise tucked loose hair behind her ear. "Give me a minute to look her over, all right? And just give me some room to work, please."

As they all moved back to where Enid was, their eyes were locked on the small body of Carol Peletier, unaware of Maggie who lingered in the shadows just a few feet behind.