Disclaimer: I own nothing.
––
"I don't have the proper equipment to check on the baby," Denise informed them, "but her vitals are fine. She doesn't appear to be in any pain. So, I think she worked herself up, shot up her blood pressure."
"She's okay then?" Michonne inquired.
"I believe so. I'll keep an eye on her, but she ought to be okay."
"Do you think the baby's okay too?" Enid moved forward toward Carol. "How are we gonna know if it's okay?"
"Well, if Carol wakes up and feels any pain that doesn't feel normal, we'll drive her to Hilltop. Beyond that, there's nothing more I can do."
Tobin released the breath he'd been holding. "Thank God." Sort of.
"You can stay with her," Denise told Tobin, "if you'd like. Till she wakes up. I have a few things to review, but I don't mind you staying."
"I appreciate it." He slid the nearby stool to Carol's bedside and grasped her hand in both of his.
Michonne trusted Denise and Tobin to watch over Carol for her, and she showed Enid out of the house. Maggie ducked under an armchair to hide from Enid and Michonne, gripping the back of it for support, and she sank down to her knees. She could hear Tobin and Denise talking. It was about the baby. His baby. Carol's baby. Their baby together.
She dug her nails into the leather, her insides quaking, and she raised her eyes, listening to Tobin talk to Denise about his reservations on being a father. She nearly laughed when he said it wasn't at all planned, that he didn't know he wanted this until it happened, and she didn't realize she was crying until a drop fell down her onto her hand. She couldn't sit there and listen to this. She had come to talk to Denise. Glenn hadn't come home, and she needed to talk to someone about all of this. Denise was the perfect person. She was compassionate and patient. She went to school for this, but now Maggie couldn't stay another second in this house with them.
Denise distantly heard the front door shut, knowing Michonne and Enid had departed a good five minutes ago, so she was curious who else had come with or after them. She'd dismissed Henry after she was sure Carol was stable and so it wasn't him. Who the hell was it?
––
"Have you guys talked about if you'll live together once the baby's here?" Denise tossed a blanket over Carol. "Or will the baby stay with her, and you'll just have it some days?"
"We were about to talk about it when she fainted," Tobin replied. "But I hadn't really thought about that. I mean, it'd make sense if we did live together. It'd be easier for us to tend to the baby, but our relationship... I don't know what it is, and I don't know if I can do it again. I want our kid to have a good home life, 'cause the world is shit, but I'd be worried I'd come home to an empty house. Again."
Denise nodded. "I get it, but you'll have to talk about it eventually. You know, if everything works out."
"I think it'd be best for the baby to stay with her. She knows more about babies than me, and Michonne'll be there. Rick too. I'll be around, and I won't miss anything." He smiled. "I think she'd prefer to keep the baby with her."
"I couldn't say," Denise confessed. "I don't know Carol very well. I guess you'll find out when she wakes up."
"Yeah."
Denise had a seat and returned to her studies. Well, she did for about a minute before the door flew open, and in poured Rick, Carl, Michonne and Abraham. She made the choice to study another night, because they were going to keep her up late. She'd start again tomorrow. She had plenty of time to learn, and they might need her beyond Carol passing out, but more likely than not they were here for Carol.
"She's okay?" Rick hovered by her bedside, eyes on Denise's face.
"So it seems." She scooted closer in her wheel-y chair. "She should wake up any moment now."
"You don't know about the baby?" Carl questioned.
"No." She shook her head. "Carol will have to tell us how she's feeling."
"How did you know about the baby?" Rick leered at his son.
"You guys are the worst at whispering," Carl joked. "That, and I heard you and Michonne talking about nurseries and cribs, and you kept saying Carol. It wasn't a challenge to work out."
"So else knows?"
"Enid knows now," Michonne answered.
"I know." Abraham waved his hand.
"Anyone else?" Rick pressed. "Carl, did you tell anybody?"
"Who's there to tell?" He put his hands on his hips. "Besides I know a secret when I hear one." He kind of dropped the ball with the last secret Carol and he had, so he made up for it. Or would until she told everybody.
"So, it's just seven of us who know? Not includin' Harlan." They have a collective nod, and he sighed. "Let's try and keep this contained. For Maggie's sake, as well as Carol's request for privacy."
A series of "my lips are sealed", "won't tell a soul", and the like were said, Rick nodded, satisfied with their silence, and Carol began to rouse at the noise they were making. Denise was on it in a flash, Rick reached for her hand before Tobin could, and a soft moan slipped out of her lips.
"Carol?"
She felt a warm hand in hers, instantly thinking of Beth at the gentle tone her name was called in, but she could feel the rough ridges of their palm. It didn't match Beth's at all, and the hand was too big. Her eyes fluttered open, and it was Rick. Rick was holding her hand, scrutinizing her with concerned blue eyes, and Denise was speaking to her. It wasn't Beth.
"What happened?" She sat up with the unneeded but given aid of Rick, his hand still holding hers. "Why...am I in the infirmary?"
"You passed out," Tobin imparted. "I brought you here."
"I passed out?" She blinked. "I fainted?"
"I think it was high blood pressure." Denise laced her fingers together. "How are you feeling? Do you feel well?"
"Yeah, I feel fine. A little crowded, but normal."
"That's good." She spoke to the group. "If you don't mind, I'd like to talk to her in private for a bit."
"Yeah, yeah, we'll go." Rick released her hand. "If you don't feel well, let us know."
Carol smiled weakly, watching them file out of the room, and Denise even asked Tobin to leave. Carol was grateful. They had an entirely new conversation to have, and she wanted to have it, but she felt a little disoriented. Once she had her bearings, she'd meet him at his, or on the way to his job to talk, whichever was more convenient for him. She'd drop by in the morning and get it sorted.
"I thought I'd tell you Carl, Enid and Abraham now know about the baby."
"Wonderful." She brushed hair from her forehead. "How long until the entire town knows?"
"I'd give it a good week or two." She smirked, and Carol faintly chuckled once. "You're sure you're all right?"
"I have to be." She slipped off the gurney. "I'm going to go home and sleep, if I can. I have a couple long talks to have tomorrow, so good night and thank you."
"It's what I'm here for."
– – –
It was a beautiful morning, the construction crew had hauled out bright and early, and Carol lowered herself down onto the porch swing. He would be back before the sun went down, and she didn't intend to wait here the entire time, but it had become a familiar place. It was nice, the gentle swaying of the swing, the breeze that occasionally blew by, the scent of flowers that accompanied it—and Daryl didn't come out this far. He and Rick may be out on their run again with Abe and Eugene, but who could say? She'd avoided the group on her way out. She eaten the rest of the food she'd made for her trip to a new place for breakfast, but she suspected Michonne would hunt her down to verify she'd actually eaten as she hadn't joined them. Might as well wait here.
Morgan was by the solar panels, back his old schedule, and she watched him for a moment then over him to the group tending to the crops. She might lend them a hand. It was nice to get her hands dirty with soil instead of blood, and they were shorthanded with Maggie recovering. They would never have too many hands tending to the garden, and if there were, there were other things she could occupy her time with. Well, if Rick had any said, it'd be the garden, watching Judith or teaching a class for the little ones. God, he was never going to get off her back. Here she thought Daryl's over-protectiveness would be the death of her. She never thought it'd be Rick's.
"Hey."
She moved her gaze from the garden to Morgan, who stood on the steps to Tobin's house. "What are you doing here?"
"I know you ran away," he instead replied.
"I know. Rick told me you and he came after me. You said you'd find me on your own, made him return." She didn't offer him a seat beside her. "You didn't have to do that. I didn't want you to."
"I'd still have gone after you."
"Why? Why do you care?"
A gentle smile. "Why did you come back?" He noticed she wasn't smoking or holding the rosary.
"It's really none of your business what I do, Morgan."
He tilted his head to the side. "Do you want to talk?"
"No, and even if I did, it wouldn't be with you." She stood up. "Excuse me."
"If you ever decide you'd want to talk to me, I'll listen." He stepped aside. "Whatever it is, whatever you're running from, you can come back from it. I promise you that. People can come back from anythin'."
She scoffed and hurried away from him. She shuddered and wrapped her arms around herself, continuing down the sidewalk back toward the house. Maybe watching Judith wasn't such a bad idea. If it keep Morgan from trying to talk to her, she'd babysit her any day, any time.
Whatever it is, whatever you're running from, you can come back from it. She inhaled roughly and swallowed. He didn't know anything.
––
Maggie slammed the window shut as rain poured down on Alexandria, and she rubbed the beads of water off her arms and pushed the hair from her face. She had been out walking when the sky opened up and gushed down on her. It was another sign that it just wasn't a good time to be her.
She stripped herself naked, about to toss her clothes into the hamper, and her eyes fell on the clothes she'd worn to Hilltop. She yanked them out and dumped the others in. She slipped on Glenn's nightshirt and padded down the stairs to the living room, tossing the clothes into the fireplace, and she lit a match, tossing it in. She watched the cloth slowly catch fire, and she stood back as it devoured her top. The warmth reached out to her, and she lowered herself down onto her knees in front of the fire, tossing in two logs, and she slid the screen over it.
Beth loved fires. She couldn't get enough of them. Whether they were in the house, or a bonfire, she adored them. The heat, the sight, but not the smell. She would complain, but only a little. She could sucker Shawn and Daddy into cooking out, so she could make a bonfire and roast marshmallows and sing campfire songs. She was such a kid.
She would have traded anything to hear Beth sing right now. The last time she heard Beth sing was to Judith, the poor baby just wanted to play with cups, but Beth kept singing. She eventually let her play with them, but not before the song over. It was something of Tom Wait's, but Maggie could barely recall the lyrics, let alone what the song was.
She bowed her head and saw how the extra cloth folded at her stomach. She placed her hand there, feeling the flat surface underneath, and she screwed her eyes shut. It wasn't supposed to be like this. She wasn't supposed to lose the baby. She wasn't supposed to be afraid of what would happen with her and Glenn's relationship now. She wasn't supposed to relive that moment every time she closed her eyes and die each time.
And now Carol was pregnant. She was pregnant with Tobin's child. Tobin who she didn't know for very long, or have a strong connection with. Tobin, who she suddenly moved in with. Tobin, who couldn't possibly know the kind of woman she was. He didn't know anything about her. And Carol didn't know anything about him. She put on quite the act, but Maggie could tell. There something off about the two of them being together. All that time in the prison with guys like Axel who propositioned her, and she always said no, but suddenly Tobin was the one? No, no, there was something more there. But it didn't matter. No, it didn't matter, because somehow despite the fact that Carol didn't love him, and he couldn't love her yet, somehow they were going to be parents. Tobin would be a dad, and Carol would be a mom. Again. Carol was going to be a mom again, yet Maggie couldn't even be a mom once.
She ground her teeth and shoved off the ground onto her feet. How was it fair that a woman who didn't even want a child was pregnant while she'd only just lost hers? There was still a long road ahead, and Carol might lose her baby too, but...Carol had already given birth to one child, so why would there be a problem with the second?
She headed upstairs to change into actual clothes, flames taking up residency in her belly as she yanked her boots on, zipping them. She trudged out into the storm and across the street to the house filled with lights. She pushed wet hair out of her face and thought about this for about one second before the woman of the hour came into her line of sight. She was in an over-sized white blouse, and for a moment Maggie could imagine a small bump underneath, and she felt like she'd be sick once more.
"Maggie?" Carol hurried over to her. "You're soaking wet. Here, let's get you some dry clothes."
"Don't touch me!" Maggie jerked away when Carol reached out, stabbing a finger at the woman. "Don't."
"What's wrong?"
"What's wrong? What's—what's wrong? Oh, let me check the list!" she spat. "I think the first would be losin' my baby, and the second is findin' out you're pregnant now!"
"Who told you?"
"Nobody told me!" Balled fists clenched at her sides. "I was gonna talk to Denise about my miscarriage, and...everyone's just terrified for you, 'cause you passed out! "How's the baby?", "Is the baby okay?", "Is she okay?"...ha." It was a bitter and resentful sound.
"Mag—"
"You don't even want a kid, do you?" she interjected.
"No, I don't," Carol honestly answered.
She laughed, a dry, humorless sound. "Well...must be the trick of it. When you don't want it, it comes. Like Lori...and now like you."
"Maggie, please, let's just get you out of those clothes. You'll freeze to death."
"Good. Good! I'd rather freeze to death than watch you and your baby..." She couldn't breathe at the fires of rage and envy that consumed her, and she stepped toward Carol, an almost threatening aura to the young woman directed at the older woman. "I'd rather."
"You and Glenn can try again. I'm sure it'll...happen when it's time."
"When it's time? When is it time? When we have a safe place?" She threw her arms out to gesture to the entire community of Alexandria. "When we have a reliable food source? When we have the people and numbers to not worry? To sleep well at night? To not cringe every single time Judith cries? Because we have all of that! So why don't you tell me when it's time, Carol? It's workin' out for you, so why don't you tell me when?!"
"Mag—" Carol tried to touch her again, but Maggie smacked her hand back against the wall.
"I said don't touch me."
"What's going on in here?" Michonne heard their conversation from upstairs while she changed Judith's diaper. She wasn't worried until Maggie began to scream, and now joining them with this animosity in the air coupled with how close Maggie was to Carol told Michonne she'd made the right choice in coming to check on things.
"Why you?" Maggie ignored Michonne. "What makes you so special? You just keep...comin' back from it all, don't you? And now...now you're havin' a child."
"Special?" Carol snorted. "You think I'm special?"
"Well, ain't you? You survived Ed, the farm, Isolation, the flu, being cast out by Rick. I can keep goin', but I think you see my point. All of that, and now a child you don't even want."
"Maggie, I think you should go home, get yourself cleaned up and eat something." Michonne passed Judith to Carol and lodged herself in between the two women. "I'll go with you."
"Tell me when you found out," Maggie demanded, leering over Michonne's shoulder at Carol.
"You don't want to do this, Maggie," Michonne warned.
"Tell me when you found out!" Maggie shouted.
"After you miscarried," Carol whispered. "Rick insisted—"
"Oh, God." She covered her mouth with her hand and backed out of the house, turning on her heel and dashing away.
"Maggie." Michonne sighed. "I'll be back. Watch Judy for me." She ducked out into the rain, following Maggie to her home, but when she arrived, she was met with a locked door. She knocked, but Maggie didn't open or answer her calls. She knew Maggie needed time. Time to accept Carol's pregnancy, time to mourn her miscarriage, time to move on from the anger. They would simply have to give it to her. Only Maggie could help herself now.
– – –
Carol rocked Judith on her hip, telling her a story to try and hush her wails. She wasn't a fan of the thunder. Carol brought her closer and kissed her forehead gently, continuing with the story. She paced the living room as she spoke, raising and lowing the pitch of her voice for the characters, and Judith began to calm.
However the story did little to mitigate the nerves tightening in Carol's stomach at Maggie screaming at her, announcing her pregnancy to the world, revealing the magnitude of her own torment. Carol knew all too well the anguish of losing a child, but this was the first time for Maggie. She could take the anger and the heat of Maggie's suffering, if it aided in her recovery, or allowed her to feel some sort of release, even for a second. What Carol wouldn't give for release...no matter how brief.
Judith spread her fingers over Carol's chin, pulling her from her thoughts, and Carol couldn't help the smile. She kissed her little fingers, and Judy looked at her with such unconditional love and trust. It nearly broke Carol's destroyed heart, so she focused on the story.
Daryl looked in on Carol and Judith, hidden in the shadows of the hall, holding the strap to his crossbow, and he smiled to himself at the sight. He didn't dare enter the room and chase her off; but he lingered, watching the smile she gave the girl to cheer her up, and he listened to the story. He didn't know what was wrong, or if he'd done something, but he'd figure it out. He had a lot on his plate right now, but there was always time for her. He'd make the time. He just had to get Rick alone, grill it out of him. Michonne was a vault, but Rick? Maybe he could load a few into him, it'd loosen his tongue right up and get answers. They had booze lying around. He'd just have to pick his moment.
"How is she?" Carl crossed over to Carol and Judy.
"Calmer." Carol rubbed her back. "She isn't going to nap while it's storming, so I'll let her help me with dinner."
"Okay." He chuckled at Judith's face, wondering if she understood them. "I think she's upset about missing that nap."
"I would be too."
He smiled widely. "Do you need a hand?"
"Did your dad or Michonne ask you to ask me?"
"What? No, no." He was telling the truth. "I just don't have anything else to do. Dad and Abe are planning how to work that factory, and Spencer and Gabriel are on patrol. Sasha's on the wall. Besides it's a big family to feed."
"All right." She adjusted Judith. "Let's get started. People will be coming home soon."
"Tobin's joining us," Carl reported. "He said he needed to talk to you about the whole...situation, and I invited him for dinner. I hope you don't mind."
"It's fine." She wrapped an arm around his shoulder. "So, how good are you with casserole?"
Daryl's nose scrunched at the mention of Tobin, here, eating dinner with them like he belonged. He knew he should give the guy a fair shake, but he couldn't. He didn't like the man. It wasn't anything he'd done. Daryl just wasn't fond of him. He didn't understand why in hell Carol was with him, but he tried to be happy she was happy. The only problem was...Carol wasn't happy, not here, not with Tobin, and not even now with Judith. She was struggling, and he could see it. He'd lived his own version of it. She was drowning, and he wanted nothing more than to bring her to shore, but he didn't know how. Perhaps, once Rick coughed up what was wrong, he'd focus his full attention on how to help her through whatever it was.
– – –
At dinner, the storm was still going strong. Rick smiled and gazed at Michonne affectionately as she shushed Judith softly, his attention on her more than his meal, and Carl tossed out comments, teasing the couple. Rosita, who joined them for dinner now, chuckled somehow bittersweet and helped herself to more wine, and Carol rubbed her shoulder, playing more with her food than eating, thankful the Grimes were busy with their own plates. Having thought that, Tobin would now and then nudge her leg, reprimanding her and prompting her to eat without saying a word. She weakly smiled in return and shoveled another bite down.
Across the table, stabbing into his meat a little too forcibly, was Daryl. His bangs covered his eyes that glared daggers at Tobin, and he knew Carol had noticed. She was just about the only one who could discern his expressions through his hair, but she said nothing. Her eyes didn't remain on him longer than necessary. He would have been bothered by it were he not bothered more by Tobin's presence at their table.
"Daryl?" Rick repeated for the fourth time, getting his focus now. "Michonne and Rosita are takin' Eugene to the factory tomorrow, and we're gonna try and find material for him to work with."
"Us?"
"Yeah." An amused smirk. "Abraham has to help Morgan with the stable, and Glenn's mannin' construction for now."
"I wouldn't say that," Tobin muttered.
"What's he doing then?" Carl polished off the peas from his meal.
"Working himself to the bone. He was there before us this morning, and I don't think he even went home. I—I've tried talking to him, but he doesn't hear me."
"Is he still there?" Michonne held Judith closer in her lap.
"When we left," he nodded.
"In this weather?" She cast a look to Rick. "Maybe we should go check on him."
Rick began to rise out of his seat. "Yeah, you wanna come and show me where, Tobin?"
"Sure."
They two men departed the house, Rick kissing his kids and Michonne and Tobin squeezing Carol's shoulder on their way out, and Carol collected their empty plates. Rosita thanked them for the lovely dinner and rolled out before clean up, and Daryl shoveled in the last few bites of his meal and carried his and Rosita's plates to the kitchen.
"Since when are Dad and Tobin the life of the party?" Carl whispered to Michonne.
"Your dad can be entertaining," Michonne wiped food off Judith's chin. "I can't say the same for Tobin."
Carl snickered.
"I don't know the guy, is all I meant."
"Better get to know him. He'll be around a lot." He set his fork down. "It's still odd, you know? Like with my mom."
Michonne tenderly brushed hair from his eyes. "Carol will be fine. It's not the same as her." She stroked his cheek. "Okay?"
He nodded, though that day had been growing more and more familiar and present in his mind at the news of Carol's pregnancy.
––
Carol rinsed the bits of food off the plates, sighing at the thought of returning to the dining room, and she turned the water off. She'd wash them later with the rest. For now, she just wanted to finish her meal and pretend everything was all right.
"Brought you two more."
She tensed. "Two more? Who else left?"
"Rosita, and I'm done." He was beside her, placing the plate in the sink. "Need a hand?"
"No, I'll do them once we're all done. It'll be quicker." She dried her hands off. "You're done? Without any second helpings?"
"Not a fan of tuna," he lied.
"Right. So it wasn't my cooking?"
"Nah, if anything...could make me eat tuna, it'd be your cookin'."
A beat.
"I should get back in there and finish eating, so I can tackle these dishes before it gets to be too late." She dropped the washcloth on the counter. "Good night, Daryl."
"Night."
– – –
Rick and Tobin searched the site for Glenn, the storm worsening now, and Rick called to him over the howling winds and surging thunder. Tobin had grabbed the spare flashlight from his truck, but it was useless in this storm. Still he used it as a guide to where he last saw Glenn, and Rick walked ahead, calling to his comrade.
"Glenn!" Rick held a hand over his eyes to keep the leaves the wind blew at him out of his face. "Glenn?"
There was a shadow on the ground in the distance, Rick snatched the light from Tobin and directed its beam to the shadow, revealing the shadow as Glenn. He and Tobin darted over to the unconscious man, blood on his brow, and Rick shook him hard. Glenn didn't wake.
"We gotta get him to Denise." Tobin gripped an arm, Rick the other, and they hauled the young man up between them. Together they carried Glenn to the truck, Rick looked for bites as Tobin drove, but luckily there were none. It might be some debris fell loose, knocked him on the head, and he went down, but only Glenn knew. Rick would have to wait until he woke up.
Rich pinched the bridge of his nose, thinking of how in the hell he was going to tell Maggie about this. It was the middle of the night, during a storm from hell, and only a couple days after she lost the baby. Her husband was found unconscious at the construction site with blood on his brow. For fuck's sake, couldn't the world cut these two some slack?
