Disclaimer: I own nothing.

– – –

Daryl and Rick walked the road together, side by side, the weight of their guns familiar and oddly a comfort. The sun beating down on them, their water supply was plenty, and Rick kept an eye on the too-silent man. Daryl wasn't a big talker on a normal day, but today he was especially quiet. It wasn't like him to keep his lips glued shut as they searched for supplies. Rick thought he'd be pleased that they weren't in the car, and as they weren't in the car Rick couldn't serenade him, which they both knew Daryl hated with a passion. Apparent that wasn't enough to lift the gloomy cloud hanging over his head.

It had been three weeks since the funerals, and Daryl had become an especially mute man those three weeks. He'd spoken only to Denise and a few words here and there to everyone else, but it wasn't anything important. He appeared to be lost in his own mind, in his thoughts, and Rick was curious to know what was bothering him. He suspected he knew as Daryl had been acting strangely toward Carol. They were still good and close, but there was something odd about how Daryl hung around her. Or how little he did these last few weeks. It wasn't like him.

"Hey, Daryl." Rick adjusted the high powered rifle in his arms and faced the man, cocking a hip. "Stop for a moment."

"Why?" His voice was dry, raspy, and sweat caused his bangs to cling to together, so Rick could see the narrow gaze underneath.

"I know you're chewin' on somethin'." Rick searched his eyes. "You wanna talk to me about it?"

"There ain't nothin' to talk about," he grumbled, not entirely bothered by the question.

"Daryl, I know you. I can tell something's botherin' you. Just tell me what it is."

"I dunno."

"Well, try and explain it to me. You can trust me."

"No, I mean...I don't know what's botherin' me. I know some of it, but...the rest of it's..." He shrugged his shoulders and caught Rick grinning at him. "What?"

"Nothin'." He chuckled. "Why don't I just give you some advice?"

"You don't even know the problem."

"Yeah, well, neither do you." He tilted his head. "Just go for it. Whenever the time seems right, go for it. It's better in the end than to overthink it. That just...kills it."

Daryl looked bemused.

"It might sound weird now, but when the time is right, you'll get it." He patted Daryl's arm and turned to continue strolling down the street. "Her appointment's tomorrow. Maggie and Michonne are goin' with her. I think you and I should pick up the slack around construction then, maybe one of us can take the wall—"

"I'm goin' with 'em," Daryl interrupted Rick. "I'll help out the day after, but not on her appointment day."

Rick's grin returned in full force as Daryl caught up to him. "Oh?"

"You know that." He looked over Rick's side profile, seeing he had that shit-eating grin on again. "What the hell's goin' on with your face?"

He wheezed a laugh. "Don't worry about it."

"I won't." He smirked. "Gotta wonder what the hell Michonne sees in you."

"Hey." Rick playfully warned his brother, and Daryl chuckled softly. "Don't make me do it."

"Do what?"

"You know what." Rick squinted at the sunlight. "Pookie."

Daryl sent him a dark glower.

"What? Only Carol gets the privilege of callin' you that?" Rick smirked. "Gotta wonder what the hell she sees in you."

"It ain't like that," Daryl corrected.

"You sure about that?" Rick studied the messy-haired redneck beside him for a moment and approached an abandoned car on the road, leaving Daryl behind to contemplate what he'd just said. Rick bent down to peer into the window, and he hoped Daryl caught on to what they were all catching onto. Hell, even Tobin knew. He probably didn't know exactly why he disliked Daryl, but he had to have picked up on Daryl's feelings. Lord knew everyone in their group did. Save for maybe one person, but that wasn't obliviousness. He wiped away layers of dirt and grime. That was the fear of what change could bring. Change wasn't always kind, and he understood that. They couldn't all be as lucky as Glenn and Maggie.

– – –

Carol sat on the porch to what was once Tobin's house, working on the blanket for the baby with a fruit smoothie Maggie had brought her, and she wasn't too fond of how thick it was. It felt like mucus going down, but it was refreshing, and it was good for the baby.

At the thought of the baby, her hand drifted down to the small lump on her belly. She was about three months. She knew she was around the end of week nine or the beginning of week ten. She wasn't entirely positive which it was, but she would know by this time tomorrow. She knew Maggie and Michonne were taking her to Hilltop for her appointment. She felt it was too soon, but given her nightmares the last couple of weeks, it might do her some good. It wouldn't ease the torture her subconscious unleashed on her every night, but she would have the facts to sooth her racing heart when she woke up the next morning.

She pulled the thread, adjusting the cotton underneath, and she saw the shadow of someone nearing. It was a man, and she knew instantly who it was. She didn't bother looking up from her work, and she finished with this patch of plaid, gently rubbing her finger over it. The shirt was rather worn, and that made it soft. It wouldn't feel scratchy to the baby's sensitive skin. That was good.

"Hard at work, I see."

"It won't finish itself, and it's not as if I have other things to do." She tugged the needle through, and she knew connecting it to the yarn would be a painstakingly long process, but it'd be worth it, and she had plenty of time on her hands. "Want to help?"

"I'm afraid I'm not too good at this kind of thing." He gestured to the step beside her. "May I?"

"I don't own the steps." She stopped her work to look at him. "Why are you here?"

"I just wanted to check on you." He sat beside her. "I saw you at his funeral, and you've been...even more distant since."

"Nobody wants to hang around a hormonal headcase." She said it in an only slightly joking tone.

"You're not a headcase."

"So I am hormonal." She nodded in confirmation. "I knew Michonne was lying for my benefit."

"I wouldn't know about that."

"You had a wife and a child. I think you do know about that." She crossed her legs and proceeded in her work.

He lowered his eyes. "It's been a long time since I've had either."

She nodded in agreement but said nothing further on the matter.

"Where's Daryl? He's usually hangin' around." Morgan had noticed Daryl would sit on the porch swing if Carol was out here, repairing or crafting bolts, or looking over their plans for the hospital run next month, or he'd be leaning against the railing, talking softly with her. He didn't know the man, but he knew Daryl wasn't as comfortable around other people as he was around Carol. The same for her as well. She smiled more when he was around, and Daryl showed emotions other than that blank or burning stare.

"He and Rick are going out." Carol smiled at that sentence. "Michonne doesn't mind sharing."

"Do you?"

She blinked and lifted her head. "Excuse me?"

"Just an observation." He waved it away. "How are you feeling today?"

"That's only the fifth time I've been asked." She inhaled. "I'm fine."

"That's good, and I'll wait for sixth next time. I like even numbers."

She peered at him. "Why are you here? Honestly? You only talk to me when you want to gently force me to swallow your do no harm bullshit."

"It's not bullshit."

"It also won't last long, not in this world."

"How can you have that attitude?" he demanded. "You're carrying life that will be in this world."

"That's exactly why I have this attitude," she snapped. "When you can't kill, you're weak. I've been weak before, and it cost me my daughter. I won't let that happen again."

"You weren't weak—"

She squeezed her eyes shut. "I don't want to talk about this. You weren't with us, and you don't know how I was." She released a sigh. "Could you just go? I don't want to start an argument, and you're upsetting the baby. It's giving me a stomachache."

"I wasn't there," he confided, "but I can tell a woman like you...was never weak. The situation might have made you think you were, but you're here now. You're here, and that proves just how strong you are."

She moved the blanket aside and stood up. "I have to use the bathroom." She entered the house and closed the door, inhaling and exhaling a few times to calm herself, and she leaned against the door, feeling somewhat queasy. She hoped the smoothie didn't make a reverse trip, and she set a hand on her stomach, trying to halt the churning.

She didn't want to talk about Ed and Sophia. She didn't want to talk about before or at the quarry. She just wanted to make a baby blanket. She just wanted to pour her attention into something that required a large amount of intricacy to keep her thoughts and fears at bay. She didn't want to linger. If she did, it would all come pouring out, and the last person she wanted it to pour out in front of was Morgan. He wouldn't understand. He was the last person who could understand. The only one who truly could was dead and buried, and now it was just her burden to bare. She would bare it alone. She was used to it.

She rested her head against the door, hearing boots on the steps, and she knew he was gone. She waited a moment before pushing off the door to use the bathroom. When she returned to the porch, she found Maggie sitting where Morgan had sat, and she lowered herself down beside the young woman to see what was going on with her.

"It's coming along nicely." Maggie had picked up the blanket a moment ago, curious to see what Carol was doing with it. "It's soft. Cushy."

"I took the cotton out of one my pillows to pad the bits of Tobin's shirt." She rested her hands in her lap. "I'm not sure how appealing it'll look, but it'll be soft and snug. I think the baby will like it."

"I like it. I wish you had enough yarn to make me one." She smiled at her. "It'll be beautiful. One day when he or she is old enough, he or she will say the same. I know it's corny, but it was made with love, and that makes it special, no matter how much you want to change it."

"Maybe."

"No, not maybe. Definitely." She pulled her legs up to rest her arms on her thighs. "So, did you like the smoothie? I know it was kind of thick."

"It was very thick, but it was good."

"Was it?"

"Yeah. Just cut back on the fruit next time."

She nodded. "Enid and Carl helped me make it, so I'll just do it myself next time. Enid's gotten all doctor on us, said what fruits would be best; and Carl said it'd taste better if we added this fruit and that fruit, and honestly it was just a mess." She laughed at the memory. "I had to kick them both out, but by that time Glenn had come back and mixed it all up. He thought he was helpin', and I didn't want him to feel bad so I brought it to you."

"It's fine, Maggie. Really."

"Okay."

"You and Enid have gotten close."

She nodded. "She's important to me. I feel very protective of her. I feel the same way about her as I did about Beth, only...I know Enid can survive out here without any doubts." She lowered her eyes. "Beth was always a fragile girl, and I didn't...put enough faith in her while she was here. I should have. I should have pushed her a bit more, gotten her out of her shell a little faster. Maybe it..."

She reached over and set a hand on her shoulder. "It's all right."

"I know." She smiled through the shimmer of tears in her eyes. "I'm not sad anymore. I just...miss her so much. Enid helps me...miss her less, but I still do."

"I miss her too."

"She would have been all over your pregnancy, you know."

"I know. I wouldn't be able to cough without her asking me if I'm all right."

She laughed through the tears. "Exactly." She inhaled deeply to regain control over herself, and she cleared her throat. "So, Michonne and I are taking you to Hilltop, and we're taking a car, not the RV. We'll leave at dawn. Is that okay?"

She nodded. "It's fine with me."

"We'll bring some snacks for the road. Do you have any requests?"

"Not unless you can pry chocolate out of Olivia's hands." She smiled sweetly as she said it bitterly.

"I'll try." She wiped under her eye. "If not, Enid can distract her, and I'll take some."

"Daryl tried to get me some the other day, but Olivia caught him. He tried to talk his way out of it, but it didn't work in his favor." She smiled at how fired up he'd gotten about it. "I think that's partly why he went out today, trying to find me chocolate."

"That's not a surprise."

"I suppose not."

"I can go out and get you what you need to make cookies, if you're cravin' sugar."

"That'd be great. I can give some to Olivia to try and pacify her after Daryl's...attempted theft. Thank you."

"You're welcome. I'm glad to help." She leaned over to murmur. "Don't tell Enid about it. She'll say sugar stresses the pancreas."

"She's going to be that kind of doctor then. I'll stick to Denise."

"Hey," Maggie laughed out her words, "she's learnin'. I'm sure once it's all settled, she'll piece together what kind of doctor she'll be."

"I'll keep with Denise all the same. I'm too old to be switching doctors."

"You're not old."

"Though my pregnancy begs to differ, I am. I feel about a thousand years old."

"It's this world," Maggie remarked. "It ages you a hundred years in a couple of weeks."

Carol concurred with a mute nod.

––

Rick and Daryl returned that night with some game, Daryl skinned and cleaned it, and instead of asking Carol, he pointedly sought out Abraham to prepare it on the grill, and Sasha had frowned at the broad-shouldered man. She and Abe had no plans tonight, but he always went to Carol. He liked how she prepared the meats, and he always said Abe under cooked it too often, leaving it in its rare juices. So why was Daryl coming to Abraham and not going to Carol?

Carl and Enid were on the porch, curled up together under a blanket, and Carl was helping her with her homework, holding Judith in his lap as she gnawed on the ear to one of the toys Glenn had brought back with him. Rick and Michonne were rocking on the porch swing, hand interlaced, and they were having a hushed conversation, laughing softly now and then, exchanging a few kisses. Carol was inside on the couch, watching them from the living room, and she felt an icy distance between them and her.

The feeling hollowed her out, and she had no appetite. She didn't want to taste any of the meat Abe had prepared, mostly due to the fact that he liked rare, and she couldn't eat that right now. He might take the time to prepare it well done for her, but who could say. Sasha might pester him to do it, but Carol hoped now. She wasn't in the mood to eat, and if he went through all that trouble, she'd feel guilty. The was the last thing she wanted to feel right now: guilt tossed in with nothing and apprehension.

She rubbed her arms and slipped off the couch, her bare feet meeting the cool floor, and she headed to her bedroom for the night. She'd lock her door, leave a note and said she had eaten. It might not get Daryl off her back, but it was worth a shot.

"Hey."

She halted by the steps at his voice and turned to him. "What are you doing in here? I thought you were all outside."

"I wanted to check on you." He shuffled toward her, keeping a glaring distance between them.

"Why? I'm okay. I'm just a little tired." She held herself tighter. "It's getting colder too."

"Yeah, it is." He peered at her shyly through his bangs. "Do you need any blankets? Extra blankets, I mean."

"I have enough." She moved to the stairs. "I should get some sleep. It's late, and I'm exhausted."

He nodded. "Uh...I got you somethin' while we were out."

"You didn't have to."

"I know, but I did anyway." He waved her to his bedroom, and she followed without a moment's pause. He could smell the soap she'd used when he bent down to reach under his bed, and it seemed his heart wasn't pounding quickly enough before. He felt a strange tingle beneath his skin, and he fumbled for the item underneath his bed.

She lowered herself down beside him. "Do you need a hand?"

"N—nah." He dropped his head and felt his face burning. He pulled the bag out from under his bed and set it on top of mattress. He unzipped it and pulled out a bag filled with yarn. They were clean, soft and varying in colors. "I couldn't find any sweets, but...uh, Rick and I found a truck filled with yarn. It was weird till we saw the logo on the side."

"That's a lot of yarn." She reached over, her hand brushing over his, and she smiled at him. "Thank you. With all of this, I can make you a gift. What would you like?"

"...doesn't matter." He cleared his throat.

"Well, since it's getting colder, I have an idea of what I could make you." She climbed to her feet. "Is the whole bag yarn?"

"Yeah, pretty much." He rose with her. "I'll take it up to your room later."

"I can lift a bag of yarn."

"I got some stuff in here for me," he explained. "Just wanna clear it out before I give it to you."

"What kind of stuff?" she teasingly inquired, head tilted to the side, that familiar twinkle in her eyes, and his mouth dried out.

Before he could collect his thought to reply, Rick came in and said dinner was ready. Carol left with him, and Daryl regained control of himself. He had no clue what the hell was happening. He'd felt nervous before many many times, like when he thought he'd gotten close to finding Sophia and when he saw Merle's severed hand on the roof. When those Termite assholes had them lined up for slaughter. When Rick told him Carol was out there alone. When he stumbled out of the house to find Beth had been taken. When he came out of the church to Carol nearly taking off on them in the middle of the night.

This wasn't like that. Those were nervous-terrified, not...fluttering in his belly, his heart pounding rapidly but felt like it was in a good way type of nervous. He didn't know what this was, and he didn't know why when her hand touched his, he didn't want her to move away. He wanted to hold it as he had that night weeks ago after the funerals. He hadn't had any physical contact with Carol since, as he and Rick had a job to do, and Carol couldn't overexert herself. He found himself beginning to crave her touch, and that caused his heart to race all over again. When he thought about her touch...

He shook his head and joined the others, not ready to pick at that just yet.

– – –

The kids had fallen asleep on the porch after dinner, Carol was drifting in and out against the house, and Michonne decided it was time to call it a night. Denise and Tara headed off hand in hand, Glenn and Maggie snuggled up and crossed the street, and Sasha and Abraham had ducked out hours ago due to early shifts in the morning. Michonne and Rick woke Enid and Carl, Carl sleepily said good night to Enid and carried his sister inside the house to her room, and Rick bent down to collect Carol, not wanting to wake her, but Daryl intervened.

"I got her." He climbed the steps soundlessly.

"I don't mind." Rick moved to pick her up.

"I got her." He flitted to the other side and gently scooped her up, and Rick watched Carol curl against him in her sleep, and he repressed a smile. "Night."

"Good night." He watched Daryl carry her inside, and his grin slipped free. He chuckled and ran a hand down his chin, rising.

"What's so funny?" Michonne gathered up the blanket Carl had left behind.

"He has no clue what he feels for her." Rick approached her and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Not a damn clue."

"Stop it." Michonne was smiling all the same. "Let him try and figure it out himself. Don't tease him."

"What's the fun in that?"

"It's not about fun. It's about Daryl realizing what she means to him, and I don't think poking at him for it is "fun"." She lightly scolded her boyfriend. "Don't mess with him, Rick."

"I'll try."

"You'd better do more than try."

"Fine, but if he offers me something I can't resist, I'm going for it."

She laughed. "I wonder now who's the child. You or Carl."

"I never had any siblings," he defended. "I'm just makin' up for what I didn't have as a kid."

"If he hits you again, it's going to be justified. Again."

"Probably." He kissed her temple. "I'll go make sure the kids are in bed."

"I'll put the food up."

He kissed her then ambled inside, Michonne folded the blanket and strolled to the kitchen to put the leftovers away, and Daryl lowered Carol down onto his mattress. It was faster and safer than trying to get her upstairs, which was why he took her from Rick. He didn't know where he was planning on putting her, likely not in her own bed, but Daryl's bed was more comfortable than the couch. She also seemed to sleep better in his bed than her own. It might be the company. She would have been used to sleeping next to someone, as she and Tobin had...

That burning rage flared up in his chest again, and he couldn't breathe. He didn't like this. He knew what this was, but he couldn't comprehend why he was feeling it when he thought about Carol and Tobin. He cared for Carol, of course. She was one of the most important people in his life. She'd been with him through so much, and she and he had an understanding, a bond. He loved her, like he loved Rick and Merle and Judith and the rest of their family. It wasn't weird to love your best friend, but it was fucking weird to be jealous because they used to be with someone else. It wasn't like Tobin and Carol were best friends, it wasn't like Tobin had replaced him in any way, so it didn't make any sense.

Yet the thought of them together, of her touching him and kissing him and having sex with him made his blood boil and his stomach clench. Tobin was good to her. He was kind of an asshole to Daryl, but he knew Tobin was good to Carol. He couldn't be this angry over them being together for months. It happened, and it's over, but it wasn't, because he was still livid at the thought of Tobin undressing her and kissing her and being with her in that way. It wasn't over for him, and he didn't know why.

Carol rolled over in bed, facing him, and he studied her. She looked so peaceful, her silver hairs mussed ever so slightly, and she moaned softly, a sleepy sound. He smiled at how adorable she was, and his heart ached and swelled at the same time.

He wondered if Tobin ever watched her sleep. He would have had a lot of opportunities. He probably just slept beside her. He probably didn't even realize what he had, how special and wonderful and amazing Carol was. He only saw the side she wanted him to see, so of course he didn't look deep enough into her eyes to see what was really going on with her. He didn't press when she looked out of focus, and he didn't know to check in on her to see if she was okay—really, truly, genuinely okay. He just swallowed the lies she told. If Daryl had been there the way she let Tobin be there for her, he could have—

He ceased that thought straightaway and moved away from Carol and the bed. Did he just...? He stumbled out of the room, passing Rick and Michonne, and he found himself outside. He gripped the railing and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment.

He was jealous of what Tobin and Carol had. He knew this feeling was jealousy, as he'd felt it his entire life with Merle. He never felt good enough, and he always envied how easily charm and lies and quips and strength came to Merle. He was so skilled, so intelligent, and Daryl didn't stand a chance. He could never catch up, and it made him so goddamn jealous of him. But he loved his brother so he didn't let it show.

However Merle wasn't Tobin. Merle hadn't had sex with Carol, hadn't lived with Carol, hadn't swallowed her lies and been happy with them. It was Tobin. He had done all of those things, and it caused an ravenous storm of envy and what he thought might be hate to course through him like blood. He envied the relationship he and Carol had, but it wasn't a relationship. He knew that. He was a means to an end, one he didn't know until Tobin blurted it out before the run.

Yet he still was green. Tobin had been fed a lie—several lies—and had a massive misconception of who Carol truly was. There was nothing to envy. Daryl knew the real Carol. He'd stood by her, he had fought with her and beside her, and he had been there through most of her hard times. He could tell she was struggling with something, and he knew it was the girls, as she'd mentioned it. She'd brought it up, almost pressuring him to ask what happened, tempting him, but he knew she wasn't ready, so he didn't. He knew her that well, so why in fuck was he jealous of Tobin?! The only difference in their respective relationships with Carol was one was romance and one was friendship.

He dragged his hands through his hair and flung off the porch, stomping down the street.

––

Denise closed the door to Enid's room and headed downstairs to turn off the lights. She knew Tara was already out cold, as a big meal always put her right to sleep, and she smiled at the thought of her all passed out under the covers, probably hogging the good pillows.

She heard a knock on the door, and she opened it to find Maggie standing there with an apologetic smile on her lips. "Maggie."

"I'm not wakin' you up, am I?"

"No, no. I haven't been to bed yet." She moved aside to show her in, and she closed the door. "Enid's crashing over here with us, so I made sure she found the right bed."

"She's tryin' to give me and Glenn some...privacy." She crossed her arms and sat on the couch. "She still has her room with Olivia, but she's moved a lot of her stuff into our home. I don't mind. I love havin' her over. She's like family to me."

"She's been there for you since the miscarriage. Of course she's family."

Maggie nodded. "She's with y'all 'cause of me and Glenn."

"What do you mean?"

"Enid's a teenager. She knows all about sex and adult relationships, so she wants to give us space to do that." She lowered her eyes. "It's not that easy."

"You two aren't...?"

She nodded. "Not since before we lost the baby." She sat back. "Everythin' else is normal again, but we haven't...gotten that part of our relationship back. I love him, and he loves me, and we've gotten back so much, but it just feels..."

"Feels?" Denise pressed.

"When Enid stayed with us, we used it as an excuse. We weren't havin' sex 'cause we had a teenager down the hall. Now that she's with you and Tara...it's the elephant in the room, and it's only gettin' bigger." She met Denise's eyes. "I'm ready to try, but...I'm also not."

"What are you afraid of?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know."

"Do you want my opinion?"

"Yes."

"It'll happen when it happens. I know that's clichéd, and it's not helpful, but you and Glenn went through something traumatic. It's like a car accident. You've gone through the physical therapy, and you've been given a clean bill of health, but you're scared to get back on the road. It's perfectly normal. You just have to give it time, and when it's right, that...spark will come back, and your anxiety won't drown it out."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. Don't try and force it. It'll happen when it's right."

She exhaled and nodded. "Okay. Thank you." She stood up. "I'm sorry to have come over out of the blue."

"Don't worry about it. I'm glad to help." She showed her out and locked up once Maggie fell out of sight. She continued on her way to turn the lights off in the clinic, and she heard someone in the house. They were down here with her. It wasn't Enid or Tara. The footsteps were too heavy, so it was a man. She nearly panicked, but she saw who the man was and calmed, sending him a glare for his rude entrance.

"You can't use a front door? Or knock?" Denise chastised. "You nearly gave me a heart attack! At least make a nose or call out."

Daryl didn't reply, just glumly hovered in the living room.

"Are you okay?"

He shook his head silently.

"Have a seat." She motioned at the couch and seated herself in the chair. "Had I known I'd have clients, I would have started charging."

"Money's useless."

"Yes, but I could have you all bring me items back from runs." She tucked loose hair behind her ear. "What's wrong with you? You look...miserable."

"Did you tell her?" Daryl picked at his nails, not answering the question. "Tara? Did you tell her?"

I could've gone with Tara. I could have told her I loved her, but I didn't, because I was afraid.

She slowly nodded.

"That's good." He chewed on his bottom lip.

"What's this about?"

"How'd you know?"

"Know what?" She felt like they were working on the same puzzle, but he had hidden major pieces of it from her. She was so lost. "What are you talking about?"

"I think... I think I do too."

Denise stared at him with narrows eyes, drowning in her own bewilderment, and he finally raised his head, and she saw the depth of emotions swimming around there. Her heart tightened, and she finally realized what and who he was talking about. She would have cheered if he didn't look so tortured. She didn't know what the hell had happened prior to this realization but clearly it wasn't pleasant.

"When did you find this out?"

"I've...uh, been thinkin'," he replied in a low tone. "Thinkin' about this for three weeks...since the funerals, and...tonight it hit me. I didn't like him 'cause I was jealous of what he had with her. Because I—I wanted it with her too..."

Denise nodded him on.

"But real, you know? I don't want the fake smiles and the walls. I don't want her...pretendin'. I want the real her, the woman I've known since Merle and me found the quarry. I know it won't be pretty 'cause a lot of shit went down after the we lost our last home—hell, even before then—but I want to know it. It's part of her, and...I want to know that part too." He rubbed his thighs, his heart pounding at his admissions, but it was light for the first time since he saw Carol outside the gate with blood on her clothes and carrying a bag, and his lips twitched to form the smallest of smiles. "I lo—I love... I love her."

"You love her," Denise repeated, smiling at Daryl. "Does she have a name?"

He dropped his eyes, his heart pounding in his ears, and he swallowed. "Carol."

"And this just hit you tonight?"

He shook his head. "The first time...was back at the prison. I thought I'd lost her, and...after all those months on the farm and those months on the road...to have lost her in our new home, I just couldn't..." Another head shake. "But then I found her. She was alive, dehydrated and weak, but she was alive. I carried her out of the cell she'd been trapped in by a walker corpse blocking the door, and then I had to leave. I told her to stay safe, and I really looked at her for a moment...how happy and alive she looked, how she held Judith, and I knew something had changed, just didn't know what until now."

"You didn't know what it was?"

"I've never...gotten close enough to feel this way about anybody before."

"So Carol is the first woman you've loved?"

He bobbed his head to say yes.

"She's very lucky." Denise smiled at him.

"I don't know about that—"

"She is, and so are you. Finding love in this world was never simple task, and since it ended, it's even more impossible, but...you have someone you love. I have Tara. Glenn has Maggie. Rick has Michonne. And vice versa."

"She don't love me in the same way," Daryl argued. "She couldn't."

"You don't know that she doesn't."

"I'm just a friend to her."

"Then show her you can be more." Denise searched his eyes. "She cares about you, Daryl, and it's enough to have caused Tobin to dislike you. It's enough to make people question what your relationship actually is. You can't deny that, so stop being self-deprecating. You don't know until you try."

"I don't wanna push her to do somethin' she ain't comfortable with."

"And she wouldn't let you." She moved beside him. "Just promise me you'll give this a shot before you dismiss it entirely. You don't know how she'll react, and I'm not saying jump her, but...test the waters, see how she responds. You're good at tracking animals and getting in their heads, so try getting into her head."

He rubbed the back of his neck. "It ain't that easy."

"You haven't tried."

He huffed then dropped his hand. "And if she don't feel the same? If I'm like a brother to her or some shit like that?"

"Then...I'll be here to help you through it." She offered him an encouraging smile. "I doubt it'll come to that, but I am here for you."

He nodded, feeling sick to his stomach now, and he swallowed. "All right then."

– – –

The following morning, Maggie, Michonne, Carol and Daryl departed for Hilltop. Carol was in the backseat with Maggie, Daryl was driving, and Michonne was looking over the final plans for the hospital run. It had come together perfectly, right to a point where they would meet up if it all went to pot. She wasn't thrilled to be doing it, but it would work. One way or another, it would work.

"This all seems feasible," Michonne commented to Daryl, folding the map up.

"It should be." Maggie moved hair from her eyes. "He and Denise have been workin' on it for weeks now. We all know it'll be a challenge in practice, but in theory and on paper it looks good. Glenn's been talkin' about it, and I think I might come too."

"Are you sure?" Daryl glanced at her in the rear view mirror.

"I'm sure. I could use some time out of Alexandria that aren't visits to Hilltop, and I want to be there for Glenn. I want to be there for all of us." She smiled to herself, glancing at Carol. "And I think Carol could use a break from me poppin' in on her."

"I don't mind as much." Carol offered a weak smile. "I guess I'm just used to it."

Daryl peered back at her through the mirror and swallowed hard, focusing again on the road, and Michonne noticed how concentrated he was on driving. She frowned and nearly asked what had happened, but she didn't want him to go off on anybody in the small car. He wasn't upset about Maggie tagging along, so...he was upset with Carol? Or he was upset by Carol's reaction. That half-hearted smile. It was upsetting, she'd admit. Carol was so tired here lately, so out of it, and nobody knew why. Michonne thought maybe it was sleeping in Daryl's bed, but the night she did sleep in the same bed with Daryl, she slept great. She woke up refreshed, but this morning she yawned into her breakfast and looked dreadful. She still did.

"You sleep okay?" Michonne asked Carol.

"I mostly tossed and turned." She shrugged a shoulder. "I'm okay. I'll be in my own bed tonight."

"You weren't last night?" Maggie inquired.

"No. I woke up in Daryl's room, so I guess I fell asleep after dinner."

"Where did Daryl sleep?"

"I slept on the couch." He actually hadn't slept much at all either.

"That's why you both look awful." Maggie rested her hands in her lap. "The couch is a terrible place to sleep, and so is an empty, cold bed."

"I've always slept alone," Carol reminded Maggie.

"Not always." Maggie pressed her lips together, unintentionally letting her thoughts on her and Glenn slip out. "Uh, never mind."

Michonned noted how Daryl's grip on the wheel tightened on Maggie's comment, and she had a feeling she would have to have a word with Daryl when they arrived at the Hilltop. That, or they would have to pry his hands off the steering wheel one finger at a time when they got home.

At Hilltop, Maggie and Carol began the walk toward Harlan's, and Michonne stopped Daryl from joining them. She pulled him to the side, he was trying to argue, but she wouldn't let him get a word out.

"You like her," Michonne stated to get him to stop trying to argue with her and listen. "You have feelings for Carol."

He blanched.

"You don't need to worry. I won't say anything." She offered a smirk. "I have to admit I'm surprised you realized it. I'm guessing it happened recently. Like last night?"

He swallowed hard. "How—?"

"Because you slept with Carol the last time she was in your room, but you chose the couch last night? I knew something had happened when I saw that, but I didn't...think it was this." Her smirk became a smile. "Are you going to tell her?"

"Not yet."

"Good. You should take some time and figure out just what you're feelings are. Rushing into this like a bull in a China shop is dangerous for both of you, especially since Carol's expecting." She stepped toward him. "Take it slow, but not so slow that any chance of it dies, okay?"

He watched her skirt around him to catch up to Maggie and Carol, and he decided then that both Michonne and Denise were shit at giving him advice.

––

Maggie and Michonne were waiting outside the office, Daryl asked if everything was all right, and they said it was fine, to just go in. He opened the door and found Carol and Harlan inside, and he wondered why they hadn't gotten started.

It's been a mystery but still they try to see why something good can hurt so bad

Caught on a one-way street, the taste of bittersweet. Love will survive somehow, somewhere

"We were waiting on you. Carol told me what happened to the father, and I'm so sorry for your loss."

"We weren't that close," Daryl admitted. "We really only had one thing in common."

"I'm still sorry."

"Yeah, me too. He...didn't deserve what happened."

"Yeah." Harlan cleared his throat and gestured behind him. "I'm sorry about the music. The knob is broken, and I haven't had time to fix it."

"It's fine." Carol leaned back on the gurney.

"Are you two ready?"

"Yeah." Daryl stood beside her. "Are you?"

She looked at him, a cool gell being squirted on onto her belly, and she nodded, reaching over to grasp his hand. "Yeah."

"All right. Let's see how everything's looking."

One love, feeds the fire. One heart, burns desire. Wonder, who's crying now?

Two hearts, born to run. Who'll be the lonely one? Wonder, who's crying now?

Daryl's eyes fell on the screen, Carol's hand tightened around his, and he gave into temptation and interlocked their fingers, holding them close to his chest. His heart soared at the sight of the baby, and he was surprise how different it looked now. It was looked more like a really little person now and less like a dot. It was amazing how much it'd changed. It was kind of like a curled up shrimp. He wouldn't tell Carol that. He didn't know if that would upset her or not, and he didn't want to find out. It was a good thing, or he meant for it to be. It probably wouldn't sound good if he were to verbalize it. The thought of it wasn't all that great either.

Harlan went through and showed them what was what, Carol appeared to already know, but Daryl was fascinated by it. Carol spent most of the time watching him and trying not to laugh, and when the baby moved, she wished she'd had a camera to capture that moment, because it was perfect. He was so enthralled and so amazing, and Carol couldn't keep her eyes off his face throughout the entire check up.

So many stormy nights. So many wrong or rights. Neither could change their headstrong ways

And in a lover's rage they tore another page, the fighting is worth the love they save

"I'd estimate the baby is around nine weeks, five days. Give or take a few days." Harlan stepped into the back room and returned wth something Daryl didn't recongize. "Would you like to try and hear the heartbeat? It's only nine weeks, so it'll be tricky, but it's up to you."

"Why not?" Carol was interested to see how Daryl would react to this.

"Okay."

"What is that?" Daryl asked in a whisper.

"It's a Doppler. Obviously you use it to hear the baby's heartbeat." Carol figured he'd found one while out on a run. She'd seen some like it when she was shopping for Sophia. She'd never bought one, but she had a few friends she'd made in Lamaze who had purchased it. She'd been invited over to give it a try, but of course Ed wouldn't allow that.

"You'll hear a lot of different and weird sounds," Harlan told the pair. "Whooshing and the placenta, even Carol's heartbeat, but you'll definitely be able to tell the baby's heartbeat from the mother's."

"The placenta?" Daryl's nose scrunched. "What the hell?"

Carol laughed. "Shh."

He quieted as Harlan began the search for the baby's heartbeat, and Daryl could hear a slow beat. Harlan said that was Carol's heartbeat, and Daryl wondered how the baby's would sound. Harlan assured them the differentiation was blatant, but he wasn't so sure. There were weird sounds, like he said, but not one so different that he could—

Daryl's thought ended at the sound of rapid thumping. It almost sounded like a train starting up. A little train inside of her, and his breathing slowed. He didn't want to overpower the sound of the baby's racing heart, and he studied the pale skin closely, remembering the little shrimp from the sonogram. He couldn't explain the heat flooding his eyes, and he couldn't explain the smile he didn't know he had, but he did know without a shadow of a doubt he loved this child. He adored this unborn baby, and he adored its mother. He loved them both so much he felt sick from it. Any vow he'd made with himself to keep them safe amplified in that moment.

Carol smiled tenderly at Daryl whose eyes were misting over, and she knew that no matter what would happen in months to come, she would savor this time. She would savor these moments as if they were her last, because of all the things she'd seen, of all that things she'd done in this world now, none had ever made her feel quite like this.

Only so many tears you can cry 'til the heartache is over

And now you can say your love will never die