Can't Let Go: PT 2


Chapter Thirteen


ELIZA'S POV


My wife is seething. She's mad. Furious. Hearing Xavi recalling what's happened at school has left her feeling like everyone is talking about her and our family and she's not happy. Neither am I. I mean, who allows their kids to know about this stuff? Who tells their kid that Arizona was taken? Poor parenting is what that is. Like, they're ten. They're not adults or teenagers. They're ten and they shouldn't know about this stuff. I know people aren't happy unless they're talking about other people's lives but this is a step too far for me and Arizona. This is definitely crossing the line. We've both spent the past week or so trying to protect our kids from the knowledge that their mom was taken by some fucked up people, but now it's all gone to shit. It's gone to shit because those kids have told Xavi that their mom is basically not coming home. Dead, maybe.

She was doing so well with the kids being here. She was the happiest I've seen her. I knew once she had them in her arms things would feel different for her. I knew once she saw our kids, everything would totally change with her mood and her body language. She was just so relaxed. Way more relaxed than she had been when it's just us here at home. I'm not offended by that, not at all. I'm just so happy that she could feel some kind of relief. I'm just happy that for a few hours, her issues disappeared. Sure, I know they are still there at the back of her mind, but being with our kids overpowered everything else that is going on in my wife's life right now. It just felt right. I know she felt it, too. I could see how her eyes lit up at the sight of them. How her demeanor totally changed as we all snuggled down and shared dinner together. I know she didn't want them to leave last night, but she also didn't want them here for fear of their safety, and for fear of her snapping. I know she never would, but she's woken this morning madder than ever and now I get it. I get why she didn't back down when I suggested the kids stay with us. I get why she refused point black when I tried to explain that they were okay here.

I've been watching her from the kitchen for the past fifteen minutes or so, and yeah…her jaw is clenched and her eyes haven't once left the coffee table I'm pretty sure she's trying to burn a hole through. I want to see if she's okay, but I'm not sure what reaction I will receive from her. Last night felt so good and I don't want that to end if I'm being honest. It's the only time when things have felt even slightly okay. Okay in her life and okay between us.

"You're staring…" Her voice low, I close my eyes and think about how best to approach this. I don't want to tell her to relax because she has every right to be pissed off. "Eliza?"

"Y-Yeah?" I clear my throat as I close the distance between us and head for my wife, a coffee prepared for her in my hand.

"Why are you staring?"

"Oh, I didn't realize I was…sorry." I drop down beside her. "You know, your face is looking really good this morning."

"It is?" She glances my way, her brow furrowed. "You're not just saying that?"

"I wouldn't tell you something that wasn't true…" I give her a sad smile. "Just, it seems different."

"That's good, right?" She settles her hand over my own.

"It is." I nod. "Did you want to talk about what happened last night?"

"About the kids?" She smiles. "It felt so good, Eliza."

"Maybe they can come home soon?"

"Yeah, I'd like that." My wife breathes out. "Just…scared, you know."

"About what?"

"Everything, I guess." She shrugs. "My mood. Them asking questions. Someone figuring out that we're all back together."

"We have people on our home at all times, Arizona." I try to reassure her. "If you want them home…then we will bring them home."

"I just…there is something you need to know." Arizona sits forward and runs her fingers through her hair. "And I know you won't like this, but you should know. Y-You need to know."

"Okay, what's going on?" I furrow my brow. "Something is going on…"

"Well, I could ask you the same thing." My wife gives me a knowing look. Okay, what does that even mean? "But before I do, I just…Alexis offered her help in another way as well as the boxing…"

"I don't like where this is going." I place my head in my hands.

"She knows a guy." Arizona clears her throat. "A guy who does, you know?"

"No, I don't know." My gaze shoots up. "So, you'll have to break it down for me."

"A hit man." She stares at nothing in front of her. "A guy who can take care of all of this for us…"

"A hit man…" My stomach flips at the prospect of my wife even getting involved in something like this. "You've hired a hit man!"

"No, not yet." She shakes her head. "Well, I don't think…"

"What do you mean you don't think?" I'm trying so hard to remain calm right now but it's hard. It's hard because this isn't Arizona at all. This behavior…it isn't right.

"Alexis said she was making the call…"

"Well, this is just great," I say, barely above a whisper as I stand. "I just…I don't even know what to say to any of this."

"What else are we supposed to do?" Arizona scoffs. "Wait until they blow this fucking house up? Wait until one of us is alone and we go through all of this again? Or worse?"

"The police are handling it."

"Like shit they are." My wife laughs. "They're doing nothing and you know it."

"We don't know that." I shake my head. "We have to trust them…"

"You really think they are going to go after the Russian Mafia?" She raises her eyebrow. "You really think if that bastard was still alive, they wouldn't just prosecute him and call this a random attack?"

"I don't know…" Nothing is making sense right now, I know that much. "But this is all wrong. I know you're hurting and I know those bastards deserve to pay, but you'll get yourself into trouble, Arizona. So much trouble."

"Alexis is paying." She clears her throat. "Says that the less involved I am, the better."

"How fucking heroic of her." I scoff, shaking my head. "I just…I don't want this for us."

"And you think I wanted this?" She asks as she stands. "You think I wanted to feel this way and go through what I did?"

"That's not what I'm saying." I give my wife a knowing look. "And you know it."

"So, what the hell am I supposed to do?" She throws up her hands. "Just wait? Hope that they've gone? Because they haven't, Eliza. You and I both know that they're just waiting. Waiting for one of us to be alone…"

"Arizo-" A loud knocking on our door, I drop my gaze and head for it. "We will talk about this later over dinner." Opening the door, I find our usual guy standing out front. "Can I hel-"

"Mrs. Robbins...I need you and your wife to go to the bedroom. Do not approach the window and do not try to contact anyone." Gently pushing me back inside our home, the guy who has been on our door since last week has a hard look of concentration on his face and his gun in his hand. "Now, Ma'am." Simply nodding slowly, I head back inside and find Arizona frozen in her spot.

"Come on…" I take her by the hand and pull her through our home. "Arizona, you're okay."

"None of this is okay." That familiar sound of complete fear in her voice, we take the staircase and head straight for the bedroom. When we were briefed last week, we all decided that our bedroom would be the best place to wait out any kind of attack. It's furthest from the street and it would be more difficult for someone to aim at us should they wish to. Yes, I'm beside myself with terror right now but I have to put on a brave face. If I don't, I'll crumble. If I don't, Arizona is going to hit the floor. Reaching the corner by the closet, we climb to our knees and drop down out of view.

"Eliza…"

"It's okay." I take her hand in my own and tighten my grip.

"You're not safe here." Her voice trembles. "I don't want anything happening to you…"

"I'm safe here with you." I press a kiss to the back of her hand. "I'll always be safe with you."

"No, I can't protect you." She cries. "I want to but I'm not sure I can."

"So, we protect each other…." I nod slowly. "And then you make a call to Alexis." I breathe out. "Giving her the okay."

"Yeah?" She glances my way. "You're sure."

"Right now, yes." I agree. "So I need you to do that before I change my mind."


An hour later, we are still sitting on the floor in our bedroom and Arizona seems a little calmer than before. I know inside she is just as scared as I am, but we've both got each other and we both know that we are okay. She's right, though. The police haven't done anything to give us any hope for this being over soon and honestly, I'm not sure they will. Yeah, my wife is completely right. The Russian Mafia is never going away. Not unless we take things into our own hands. I still don't like what is about to happen, but what alternative do we have? How else are we supposed to feel safe? A light knocking on our bedroom door pulling me from my crazy thoughts, the door opens and Sanchez approaches us. "Okay, we've cleared your property."

"What happened?" I furrow my brow.

"Drive by." She clears her throat. "One of our offices has a gunshot wound to the shoulder but he's going to be okay."

"Shit." My wife cuts in.

"We're heightening the security." She backs up a little.

"How close are you to finding them?" My wife asks. "Truthfully…"

"We're not," Sanchez admits. "We're using all the resources we have but it's been near on impossible, Mrs. Robbins."

"Okay." My wife gives the detective a fake smile. "Just, keep doing what you're doing." She climbs to her feet. "I'm sure you've got this."

"We have." The detective gives Arizona a reassuring smile. "I've called the guys at your mom's place. The kids are safe."

"Thank you." I breathe out. "Can we leave now?"

"You can." She disappears out of our bedroom. "I'll be outside if you need anything."

"T-The phones…they're tapped." I whisper. "We cannot call Alexis from here."

"What about the one you bought me when I was at the hospital?" Arizona replies. "Did they take that from you, too?"

"Oh, no."

"So, we can use the one I'm currently using?" She raises her eyebrow.

"I don't see why not…" I drop down onto the edge of our bed. "I swear this is going to kill me one of these days." Dropping my head on my shoulders, my hands settle on my bump and tears fill my eyes. "How the hell did this happen, Arizona? How did things get so messed up that people want us dead?"

"The world is messed up, Eliza." She stands in front of me, her cell in her hands. Pressing a kiss to the top of my head, it's the first time my wife has openly done so since her attack. "But we can end this now…" Taking her cell from her hands, I furrow my brow and she gives me a knowing look. "Make the call."

"Me?" My eyes widen. "Why me?"

"Because I need to know that you are okay with this." She sighs. "If I go ahead and do it…you will turn it all against me someday."

"I wouldn't." I shake my head.

"You're sure?" Arizona raises her eyebrow.

"Okay, fine." I nod slowly. Hitting the contact list and bringing up Alexis' details, I press call and wait for it to connect.

"Hey, Zo."

"Arizona is ready for your help." I clear my throat. "Bring your kit with you…"

"Eliza, is everything okay?" My wife's ex-girlfriend realizes I'm the one on the line.

"When you get here…the guys on the gate may be a little off with you. Tell them you're my sister and that you're here to work with Arizona."

"O-Okay." Ending the call, I drop my wife's cell to the floor and she takes my hand in her own.

"Thank you." She climbs down to her knees, groaning as she does. "Eliza, look at me…"

"I can't believe we're doing this."

"Don't you want us to be okay?" She asks. "Don't you want us to be able to live our lives how we have been? Happy and without fear?"

"Yes, but can that ever truly happen?" I ask, my voice breaking. "I mean, it's not just about them, is it? It's about you and your recovery too."

"Something tells me I'll find it a lot easier to sleep at night knowing they can't hurt us." Arizona gives me a sad smile. "I know this isn't either of us, Eliza. We both wouldn't ever want to hurt anyone, but sometimes we have to do what's best for us. Not everyone else."

"I know." My eyes close and I nod slowly. "I know and I get that."

"So, I need us to be okay about this." She breathes out. "I need us to stick together."

"You know I'd do anything to keep you safe." I squeeze her hand. "I just wish we could've done this differently…"

"Me too." Arizona sighs. "But knowing that they're not around? It's going to make things so much easier."

"This guy…" I stand and help Arizona to her feet. "You're sure about him?"

"I don't know who his he…" My wife admits. "We will know more when Alexis arrives. She just said she knew a guy."

"God, this is messed up." I look up at the ceiling and sigh. "So messed up."

"You saw what just happened…"

"I know. I know." I hold up my hand between us. "I just need some time to let this sink in…"

"You're not going to hate me for this are you?" Arizona has that look of worry in her eyes and it breaks my heart. "I can't lose you, Eliza…I just can't."

"You won't." I give her the smallest of smiles. "I just don't trust Alexis."

"You know, uh…she wanted to call you." My wife clears her throat. "Over the years…"

"Why?"

"To apologize, I guess." She shrugs. "To form some kind of relationship with you…"

"Right." I narrow my eyes. "So, all of this? This isn't just her way of putting herself back into our lives?"

"No, I don't think it is." We both head for the bedroom door. "Just…give her a chance, please?"

"Mm, that's what I'm afraid of doing," I answer honestly. "All of this…it isn't about us. Me and her. It's about getting rid of the guys who did this to you and that's all. I don't want a relationship with her, Arizona. I'd appreciate it if you didn't force that upon me."

"I wouldn't ever do that." She grips my wrist and stops me from heading downstairs. "Just…she's trying okay?"

"I'm not sure any amount of trying in the world would make any difference to how I feel about her…"


Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.