Disclaimer: I own nothing.
– – –
Harlan gave them a moment to collect themselves and to try and silence his stereo, Daryl tried to inconspicuously wipe at his eyes, and Carol cleaned the gell off her belly and fastened her pants, sitting up. She looked over at Daryl, and she smiled at how he was "scratching" the bridge of his nose.
"I asked him to do it again for Maggie and Michonne before you came in," Carol told him. "But I have to use the bathroom first, so why don't you get them?"
"Sure." He cleared his throat. "I'll get 'em."
"Thank you."
He paused by the door and glanced over at her, smiling to himself, and he stepped out to retrieve Maggie and Michonne. Once Carol had finished in the bathroom, Harlan did the Doppler again, but not the sonogram, which they were both fine with. Michonne hadn't been sure she'd wanted to see either, because of how emotional she might get, but she was pleased to have come inside and heard it. It did cause a stinging in her chest, but it was worth it.
Maggie held Carol's hand and smiled widely, thoroughly captivated by the sound of the baby's heartbeat, and she was nearly in tears at the same time. It was incredible, and she couldn't wait until the next time they were here at Hilltop for her and Glenn again. She wasn't ready to start trying again, but she wasn't going to not try ever again. She wanted to have kids. She wanted to expand the family she had with Glenn with their own children. And one day they would.
They loaded up into the car afterward, Carol thanked Harlan, and he once more offered his condolences. She smiled thankfully and climbed into the backseat with Maggie. Michonne drove towards home, and Carol drifted off to the rumble of the engine a few minutes out of the Hilltop. Daryl smiled at her through the rear view mirror, which wasn't lost on Maggie or Michonne. They didn't say anything, didn't tease him on what he was looking at, but they did share a secret smile of their own. One Daryl noticed, but he didn't ask it was for. He'd rather just keep silent and let Carol get her rest.
Once they'd returned to Alexandria, Maggie woke Carol despite Daryl insisting he could just carry her inside to his bedroom to let her sleep, and Carol rubbed at her eye. Maggie guided her to the house to talk to her, and Michonne pulled the car around.
"Hey," Glenn jogged over, "how'd it go?"
"It went good." He held out the sonogram Harlan had given him. "It's nine weeks."
"It looks so different." He smiled at the little human. "That's incredible."
"We were able to hear the heartbeat," Daryl enthused. "That was incredible. It was like a train. It was so fast and so different from Carol's. It was...just real incredible."
Glenn smiled at the man. "Do you have baby fever, Daryl?"
He glared. "I'm just happy for her is all."
"Come on, you can be honest with me. I know you practically stepped up to the Daddy plate after Tobin...passed. You can be excited about this. I'm excited for her." He returned the sonogram. "I think you'll do great."
"I don't know, but I'll try." He tucked it into his breast pocket.
"That's all anybody can do." He slipped his hands into his jean pockets. "I know a lot has happened the last couple of weeks, and I want to thank you for being there for me. I know you didn't like Tobin, and he wasn't too fond of you, but I really appreciate you being there."
"Don't mention it, short round."
He chuckled and nodded. "I have to show Enid how to tend the horse properly. She passed her latest exam, and it's a reward. I'll take her riding once she'd gotten this taken care of."
"Who's been takin' care of it till now?"
"Gabriel. Sometimes Morgan." Daryl nodded. "Enid wants to give it a shot, so when she's not studying she has something else to do. If you'll excuse me."
"Yeah, have fun with that."
"I will." Truth be told he was fond of Enid. She was like the sisters he had growing up, only it was reverse. He was the older one, and she was the baby. Nevertheless he liked her a lot, had a soft spot for her and wanted to keep her safe. He didn't smother her, but he did like teaching her. He liked helping her study, the look in her eyes when she finally grasped an unknown term or muscle, and he wanted to be there for her in other ways too. Like tending to the horse, teaching her to ride. It was almost paternal what he felt for Enid, and he knew by watching Maggie she felt the same maternal affection toward her. Enid might feel they were just being kind, and that was okay, but without knowing it, she was helping to fill a hole their miscarried child left behind. For that, he'd always be grateful. For that, he'd keep that girl safe and fed and warm, like he'd do for his own children one day.
Daryl bounded up the stairs to the house, and he nearly walked smack into Carol. "Shit, I'm sorry." He held her upper arms to keep her from tripping backwards.
"No, that was on me." She set her hand on his chest, the other over her own heart. "I was coming out to ask you a question."
"Uh, sure. What is it?"
"Maggie's going to find ingredients for me to make cookies since I can't go outside the wall. Would you like to learn how to make them?" She studied him. "In case I can't make them for the baby."
"In case you can't make 'em?"
"Say I'm sick and he or she wants a cookie, do you really want to hurt their feelings because you don't know how to make them?" She cocked her head to the side and smiled sweetly at him. "Well?"
He sighed, though that smile was doing funny things to his pulse. "All right, I can...do that."
"She's going out tomorrow, so I'll find you after." She let her hand slid down his chest and to her side. "I'll see you at dinner."
"Where are you goin'? Tobin's?"
"I've had enough fresh air for today. I'm just going to my room to work on the blanket." She stepped back. "You don't have to bring me tea or anything. I'll be fine, and I can get my own drinks."
He nodded. "I was only tryin' to help."
"I know, and I appreciate it, but I just kind of want to be alone right now. It's been a big day, very emotional for all of us, and I just...need some time to myself."
"All right. We'll holler up to you for dinner."
"Thanks." She turned on her heel and padded up the stairs.
Test the waters, Daryl thought to himself, remembering what Denise had told him. See how she responds. Okay, how the hell was he going to do that? How the hell was he going to test the waters? It's not like he could ask her flat out, and he didn't know how to test the tests. It wasn't like he had loads of experience or had anybody to ask. He couldn't tell them he loved her, and he couldn't ask that type of question without giving a lot away, so what the hell was he going to do?
– – –
Maggie sat on a bale of hay Abraham had found, watching Enid and Glenn groom the horse, and she was looking over the list of ingredients for Carol's cookies. She knew where to find most of it, but they'd have to go outside the walls for some of it. She'd enlisted Glenn and Enid to help with her ingredients hunt, and they weren't too thrilled, but it was like a fun family activity—they'd just have to deal with it.
"When I was a kid," Enid told Maggie and Glenn, "I always wanted a horse. I only got the plastic ones, and my dad always said he'd take me out to ride a real one when I was old enough. But I was never old enough, and the world died on us, so..."
"You have a chance now." Glenn nudged her. "I'll teach you."
She returned with a half-hearted smile.
"Maybe one day you'll have a horse of your own," Maggie commented. "One to take care of and name and train."
"You think?" Enid gently pulled the brush through his mane.
"I know." She smiled at the girl. "Glenn's a good teacher, so I'll try not to stress about this."
"I'll take good care of both of them." He saddled the horse. "And it's not like I decided to take her outside the wall. I just don't want to leave a dung trail through town."
"Be home before the sun sets." She rose off the bale, shoving the list into her back pocket. She patted the horse's behind and reached over, tugging the zipper to Enid's jacket up and earning an eye roll. "It's gettin' colder out there, so don't roll your eyes at me."
Enid smiled. "I'll be fine."
"I'm just makin' sure." She smoothed down her hood. "I'll ask Carol to make you a scarf. It might put me at ease."
"Come on, Maggie, she'll be fine." Glenn reached over and carefully pulled Enid to him to help her mount to the horse. "All right, put your foot in the stirrup. I've got you. You won't fall back."
She inhaled and hoisted herself up. "Whoa." She nearly slid from the force, but Glenn caught her hoodie and yanked her upright. "Thanks."
"Yeah, she'll be fine." Maggie sent him a slight glare. "Be careful."
"We will be." He kissed her goodbye and stroked her cheek. "We'll be back by dinner."
"Have fun." She opened the stable door for them.
"We will." Enid was grinning. "Bye, Maggie."
Glenn lead the horse out of the stable and toward the gate, Maggie could feel stress seeping out of her every pore, but she trusted Glenn's ability to teach. She knew they could take care of themselves, and they would be home soon. Until then she had a job herself, which involved gathering the last of Enid's things from Olivia's and moving it into her and Glenn's home. She might enroll Tara to help. She missed spending time with her, and she wanted to make up for how bitchy she'd been upon Tara and Heath's return from their run.
––
Rick padded down the steps toward Michonne and Judith, Michonne could tell he wasn't in a great mood, and she adjusted Judy in her arms, though she was getting too big to be held all the time. She would be walking on them soon, and then they'd really have to keep an eye on her.
"What's wrong?" Michonne asked when he came off the last step.
"Carol."
"What about Carol?"
"I went to check up on her, and she's in a crabby mood."
"I told you to be gentle about the check ups."
"Yeah, I know." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I thought I was, but apparently not."
"What'd she say?"
"A lot of things, and not one was nice." He smirked. "Guess the mood swings are in full effect. She seemed happy when they got back."
"Or...you walked into her room without knocking and put her in a bad mood," Michonne suggested.
"It could be that too."
"It's not always the pregnancy and the hormones that put women in bad moods. Why don't you give it some time and start knocking. I'm sure she'll be a little less annoyed with the check ups."
"Or I could leave 'em to Maggie."
"There's that too."
He chuckled. "There's some stuff to make another smoothie. I'll toss one together with a note, knock and leave it by the door as an apology."
"That's a good idea."
"I just hope no one else tries to bother her. It ain't gonna end pretty."
––
"Just so you know, quality time together doesn't involve moving things," Tara jested, leaning on the dresser in Enid's old bedroom and filling a box with her things. "I would have accepted a few of Carol's cookies and a hug."
Maggie dropped to her knees and collected the comics from underneath the bed. "I just want to get this out of the way, and you don't have anythin' better to do, do you?" She smirked when Tara didn't answer. "And I wanted you here to help me."
"And Rosita's too busy screwing Rebound Boy."
Maggie laughed. "What?"
"Tall, dark, and whiny." She smiled. "You know who I'm talking about."
"I don't know him well enough to say that's an accurate description of him, but yes, I know who you're talking about." She neatly stacked the comics and placed them into the box, rising. "She can sleep with whoever she wants to sleep with. She's an adult."
"She's reckless. He's a guy, and hot sex is totally fine with him, but...for her? It's not going to end well. She's not even working through what happened with Abraham."
"What do you mean?"
"She's only sleeping with Spencer. She's not...going through it. She and Sasha don't even speak, and she avoids Abraham. She's pulling in, and I'm worried about her. She's a tough cookie, but Gorgeous is going to snap like a twinge at the wrong comment."
"Have you tried talkin' to her?"
"Yes, many times, but she assures me she's fine." Tara sighed and flicked through the items in the box. "She's going to hold it all in until she explodes."
"You're really worried about her." Maggie stopped working to meet Tara's gaze.
"I am. I've tried asking Denise to talk to her, but Denise says Rosita will come to one of us when she's ready." She put a hand on her hip. "But she won't. That's not who she is."
"I'll try and talk to her. I've been through some rough break ups. I might be able to help."
"Good luck. I'm not saying you can't get into her head, but good luck." She picked up the box. "I'm done with this side of the room, so I'll just take this over."
"Tara, you completely missed her games."
"She's going to be a doctor. She won't have time for that."
"Tara, please."
"Fine, but I sleep with the town doctor, so I know her lesson plan, and I'm telling you the kid will have no time for...whatever the hell this is." She picked up and read over the summary.
Maggie looked over her shoulder at the sound of feet, Daryl entered the room, and she blinked, doing a double take to make sure it was the right man. It was. What the hell was he doing in Enid's room?
"I needa talk to one of y'all," he mumbled, looking embarrassment as all hell.
"What about?" Tara tried not to snicker or grin at his appearance, because the poor guy looked so damn uncomfortable and flustered.
He pressed his lips together then shook his head. "Never mind." He fled from the room.
"Daryl?" Maggie hurried after him and caught his arm. "Hey, wait."
"It's nothin'."
"It's not nothin'. You look...just awful." She studied his pale face and red cheeks. He looked simply sick from embarrassment and unease, and she could only imagine how he felt. "What's goin' on?"
"I need some...advice." He couldn't meet her eyes. "How'd you...and Glenn...?"
Maggie laughed, knowing the question without having heard the end of it. "We had sex in the pharmacy."
He blinked. That didn't help him at all. "I should go."
"Wait, why do you want to know how we started?" She caught his eye and a grin crept across her lips. "You...and Carol?"
"No, not me and Carol, just...just me," he muttered.
"That's amazin', Daryl." Her grin soften into a compassionate smile. "If it's advice you need, I can't offer much. Carol and I are two different women, but if you want to get her attention, just try to be subtle. Let her...come to you, you know? She's...goin' through a lot right now, her body's workin' constantly, and you have to be understandin' about that."
He nodded. "How...do I be subtle?"
"Just do little things for her."
Like what? He wanted to demand, but he didn't. "All right."
"You can't be as direct as I was with Glenn. I don't think that'd work out well, but you have to find your own way. You know Carol better than most, so really the only one who can help you is you." She shrugged her shoulders. "You could try takin' a few pages from Glenn or Rick, but in the end...only you know how to go about this. It's obvious Carol made the first move with Tobin, even if he thought he did, and she had a plan in mind during that relationship, so...it's kinda really up to you."
"And if she don't feel the same? Won't I just ruin everythin'?" he murmured.
"No. If she doesn't feel the same, she'll probably give you some time to try and move, and eventually you'll find your relationship back to what it was. Carol wouldn't want to lose you entirely."
His mind reflected that day on the farm following his accident with Nervous Nelly. I can't lose you too. Her big blue eyes filled with tears at the thought of it and at his relentless attitude toward finding Sophia. How she'd run forward when he'd tossed the saddle and pulled on his stitches, how he swatted her away, insulting her on his way out.
"Are you okay?" Maggie could see he was lost in his thoughts.
"Yeah, I'm fine." He stepped back. "I gotta go."
"All right. I hope I helped."
He nodded and headed out.
"So," Tara drew when Maggie returned to Enid's room, "what was that about?"
Maggie beamed. "Romance."
"Romance, huh?" Tara teased. "Then why'd he come to you?"
Maggie glared playfully at her. "I know a thing or two, all right?"
"Yeah, but it's Daryl. He's not like you. He's the opposite of direct and to the point. He's...beat around the bush guy. At least when it comes to romance, and I've never seen him try to romance anyone. It's just the kind of vibe he gives off."
"He'll find his own way to do it. I just gave him a little push."
"Let's hope it wasn't into a volcano."
– – –
Carl and Michonne were setting the table that night, Rick was pulling the dish out of the oven Michonne had prepared, and Michonne caught a glimpse of Daryl in the living room on the floor. She blinked and neared him, finding him on the floor with Judith. It would have been a cute moment had he not looked so demoralized and depressed. She told Carl to finish up and approached them.
"It's about time for dinner." She knelt down beside them. "Why don't you get washed up?"
"I ain't too hungry." He let Judy have the toy they'd been playing with. "I'll let you get her cleaned up."
"Did something happen?" She sat beside Judith and searched his eyes. "Did you...tell her?"
He shook his head. "Didn't get around to it. She just gave me the boot."
"She's been short-tempered all day. Rick started it by walking into her room without knocking. I'm sure it wasn't you." She collected Judith. "Now get cleaned up for dinner."
He shook his head. "I'm gonna take a ride. I'll be back by noon tomorrow."
"Noon tomorrow?" Michonne's brows shot up. "Where are you going?"
"I just need some time and some air." He stood up. "It might take me longer to get back, but I'll try and make it back by tomorrow."
"Daryl." Michonne shot up to stop him. "Da—"
"What's going on?" Carol stood by the steps, having heard Michonne's tone. "Is everything okay?" Her eyes moved from Daryl to Michonne.
"It's fine." He drew closer to her. "I'm just gonna be out for a bit."
"Out?" She frowned. "Where is out exactly?"
"I just needa get some air, get my head on straight, but I'll be back. I'll try to be back by tomorrow, but if I ain't, I took a couple more days."
"Days?" She gaped. "Daryl, what's wrong?"
"It ain't what's wrong." He met her eyes. "It's just what I need right now."
She understood, but she didn't like it. "Okay."
He moved away from her, keeping eye contact until he turned to open the door, and he disappeared out of it. Carol dropped her gaze to the floor, and Michonne frowned and Carol could imagine him riding out on his bike. She didn't know what was going on with him, but she hoped this trip helped to clear his head. He'd been acting peculiar all day, and now this? She had only seen him once since they got back, but maybe she was the cause. She had been short with everyone since Rick came to check on her. She hadn't meant to be, and she thought she'd been a little more gentle with Daryl than with Rick, but perhaps not. She hoped if that was the case she hadn't hurt his feelings.
"He'll be back." Michonne set a hand on Carol's shoulder. "Until then it's time for dinner."
She nodded and followed her to the kitchen, her eyes moving back to the door a moment later. She inhaled and decided to talk to him when he got back. If he wanted to talk to her.
Outside the wind that had been whipping up all day picked up, white clouds turning black, and thunder rumbling through the sky with flashes of lightening. The sky opened out and heavy rain poured down on them.
Glenn guided the horse back to the stable, dropping Enid off at home so she wouldn't get as soaked. He then bolted through the ran back home, finding both Enid and Maggie on the porch. Enid was wrapped in a towel, and Maggie was waiting for him with more towels. He shook the water from his hair, chuckling as he dragged a hand through it to get it out of his face, and Maggie wrapped the towel around his shoulders. She then slipped her arm around Enid's shoulders and escorted her inside to the fireplace to keep warm, rubbing her shoulder.
Maggie tossed a blanket over Enid's towel as she wasn't soaked to the bone like Glenn. "Stay here until you're dry."
"I will." Enid curled up in front of the fire. "How's Glenn?"
"In the shower. I'm going to make something hot for y'all to eat. Let's just hope you didn't catch anythin' out there." She added another log to the fire. She had to get ingredients for Carol tomorrow. She didn't want to deny that pregnant woman cookie ingredients, so she hoped the rain didn't make it terribly muddy out, or she'd been sliding for ingredients instead of looking for them.
– – –
Carol woke up in her own bed that morning, rain dripping from the roof to the ground, and she wasn't sure she'd slept at all. The rain had been a pleasant melody, but sadly it wasn't enough to chase off her nightmares. Last night's had been especially merciless, and she felt shaken by it. She couldn't wander the streets last night, as she used to when she couldn't—or didn't want to—sleep. All there was to do was sleep or read, and her eyes were tired. Yet somehow they were even more tired now.
She pushed the blanket back and sat up, her hand finding the little lump on her belly. She didn't know how shaken she was until that moment. That nightmare had been so vivid. She could feel the knife stab through...
"Carol?" It was Carl.
"You can come in."
He opened the door and smiled as a greeting. "Morning."
She weakly returned his smile. "Morning."
"Breakfast isn't ready yet, but I wanted to let you know that in case you're hungry now. I can make you something really quick."
"That's sweet, but I'm okay. I'm a little queasy this morning."
He nodded. "Well, I'm watching Judith, so I'll be here if you need anything."
"Thank you."
He stepped back and pulled her door closed. He headed downstairs to where Enid studied with Judith in her lap, and he smiled, watching his baby sister make it damn impossible for Enid to be able to focus. He chuckled and reached over, picking her up, and Enid thanked him.
"You're welcome." He sat beside her on the floor. "You do know you can work in the clinic, right?"
"Tara and Denise and Glenn and Maggie are in there. It's about time for the hospital run, and they're crossing off a few last-minute items or routes. I couldn't hear myself think over their voices." She peeked at him. "Besides...I like it here."
He caught Judy's little fist before it smacked him, and his smile widened. "I...like having you here." He felt his cheeks flushing. "And so does Judith. She gets to play with someone other than me and Michonne."
"Well, one day she'll have friend to play with." Enid smiled at the girl. "It won't be for a while though, even after birth."
"I'll manage until then." He handed her one of the toys scattered on the floor to entertained Judy, glancing over at Enid as she returned to her studies, and he almost spoke when Judith crashed into him with a stuffed teddy bear. Well, Judith didn't like him having his attention divided, that was for certain.
––
"He left?" Maggie whirled around to face Michonne who was on the wall, waiting for Glenn and Enid to lend her a hand with collecting ingredients for Carol's cookies. "Last night? Why?"
"I don't know. One minute he's trying to find a way to tell Carol how he feels, and the next he's blowing out of town again."
"I told him to find his own way to show her how he feels, but I didn't mean like this." She heaved a sigh. "How's Carol?"
"She's been in bed most of the day, working on the blanket. Rosita's gone to take her for a walk, stretch her legs, but she seems pretty content with staying in bed. She looked dead this morning, so I'm fine with it. I just wish she could sleep."
"Why can't she sleep?" Maggie inquired in a whisper. "Does she have bad dreams or somethin'?"
"I don't know what it is, but I hope it goes away. We can't give her anything, and warm milk won't cut it." She crossed her arms. "I honestly think Daryl's the only person who can help her."
"And he just skipped town. It could be for a day, for two, but he's still not here, so warm milk will have to do. There's some honey in the pantry, so I'll try and add some in tonight."
"Let's hope it works."
Glenn and Enid arrived then with the list of items Carol normally used, a basket each and dressed in rain boots. It was all they had to protect them against the puddles and the mud, so it'd have to do. It was getting chilly at night, so the last thing they needed was to fall on their asses and catch a cold stumbling back towards the gate.
"I'm sorry we chased you out of your lesson today." Glenn glanced back at Enid who walked beside Maggie, collecting some acorns. "This run is vital, and we had to fill Maggie in."
"It's okay. Carl and Judith kept me company." She brushed some leaves aside. "And I know. This run means a lot to me too, so it's fine. I didn't need much help on this chapter."
"How do you like it so far?" Maggie stepped over a log.
"It's complex," she admitted. "Denise has to help me with a lot of it, but of course she does. I didn't finish high school before the world ended."
"You're doing great, according to her." Glenn reached over to help Enid and Maggie over a large pit of mud.
"Really?" She smiled. "Denise thinks I'm doing great?"
"Yeah."
"I feel like I'm letting her down. It's so much to remember, and I'm worried I won't know enough when the time comes." She moved loose hair out of her face.
"That's a long time in the future." Maggie glanced at her husband. "You have time to learn all you don't know."
She nodded and bent down for a small bunch of acorns. "It's just my nerves."
Glenn repressed a smile. "And speaking of the future, Enid, we need to talk to you."
She looked up. "What about?"
"It's not bad news," Maggie assured her.
"Okay." She rose. "What's going on?"
"We don't expect to take the places of your parents," Glenn imparted. "We don't even want to try, but we do care about you, Enid. You've been there for us, and you've helped us in a way you can't possible know."
"And there's a reason we didn't want you to go home last night," Maggie added.
She moved her gaze from Glenn to Maggie and back. "What reason is that?"
"We moved your things into the guest bedroom of our home. It's premature, like I told Maggie, but we'd really love if you lived with us. It's not that Olivia doesn't want you in her home anymore, or anything like that," Glenn promised. "It's just that we do. We like having you over, and I like helping you with your homework."
"I love having you around." Maggie crossed her arms. "You just...make my day."
Enid blinked. "You want me to live with you?"
They nodded.
"What is this? You can't have a kid, so I'm the substitute until you do?"
"No." Maggie shook her head. "No, no. That's not it. You're not a substitute for anythin'. We care about you, Enid, and we want you to know that. We want you to be in our family. We don't want to deminish what you had with your parents, and we definitely don't want you to feel like you're a replacement. You're not."
"You mean that?"
"Of course we do." Glenn smiled at her. "Do you think I'd sit up all night to help someone cram for an essay test if I didn't care about them?"
She returned his smile and hugged him.
"Is this a yes?"
She nodded and stepped back to hug Maggie. "Yes, it's a yes."
Maggie grinned and squeezed the young girl in her arms, smoothing down her hair. "Welcome to the family."
Glenn looked on at his wife and Enid, smiling at the not-so-new addition to their little family, and he was grateful they would have the chance to start this journey together. It would be an interesting road, but they were all walking it together, so they would be there through the heartaches and the joy and the dark corners. They would protect each other. He knew Maggie and Enid could take care of themselves without his help, but he wanted to take care of them. He wanted to protect them, and he would. He wouldn't let anything happen to them as long as he breathed.
Glenn rubbed Enid's back when Maggie released her, and they began their search anew. Maggie wasn't sure how much Carol needed, but she figured the more the merrier. If any of them weren't up to snuff, Carol would have plenty to replace it with. And if Carol was sharing the cookies like she normally did, maybe Maggie and Enid and Glenn could get a batch for all their hard work. It was a reward-less offer Maggie had made, but she could hope for one container of cookies.
"Maggie!" Glenn called out.
"Shit!"
Maggie had lost sight of what was happening around her, absorbed in collecting acorns, and she didn't notice the massive puddle of mud she was walking into. She fell flat on her ass, Enid covered her mouth at the sight, and Glenn was trying not to laugh. She didn't blame him, and she would laugh too if she didn't feel the mud slipping into places it should not be.
"Oh, God." Enid stood just outside the rim of the muddy area. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." She sloshed mud off her arm and tried to stand up, sliding. "Whoa!"
Glenn was chuckling now, setting his basket down and reaching for a tree branch. "Hang on."
"That's easy for you to say." She couldn't stand up, just slid here and there trying, and she huffed, happy to have at least rolled over to be on her knees. "Jesus."
"I don't think he can help." Enid giggled at the mess the mud had made on Maggie.
"Here." Glenn leaned out, holding onto a firm branch to keep him steady. "Take my hand."
Maggie reached out to clasp her husband's hand, Enid fished out the basket, and Glenn nearly had Maggie out of the mud when she yanked him down beside her. He looked stunned for a moment, frozen with mud splattered onto the side of his face, and Maggie laughed at him as he'd laughed at her. Enid did laugh this time too, just at how surprised Glenn looked.
"You should know better than to laugh at your wife." She smirked. "I'm a farm girl, and I had a jerk for a brother. I'm used to mud."
He tried to wipe it off his face, but he only managed to smear it. "Honestly I don't know why I didn't expect this."
"Yeah, me either." She tossed some onto his shirt and smiled sweetly at him. "We're not even, but we're both covered."
"Thanks, Mag."
"Any time." She climbed unsteadily to her feet. "Enid, you'll have to hose us off at home."
"Okay." She snickered at the sight of them.
"Unless..." Glenn reached for the young girl, but Enid was faster—and on firm ground—so she avoided him, and he nearly face planted in the mud. "All right. I want out of this."
"Come here." Maggie held her hands out, Glenn took them, and together they managed to get him to his feet without the other falling. Maggie smiled at the messy sight of him, and she tried not to laugh, but she couldn't help it. She guided him toward the log where Enid was waiting for them, and the pair tripped at the same time.
"Oh." Enid winced at the sound of them going down and averted her eyes.
"I think I just twisted my ankle." Maggie groaned. "And my spleen may be dislocated now."
Glenn pushed himself up to hover over her. "Are you okay?"
"If either of those things seem like I'm okay then sure." She rolled her head to the side, the cold mud cradling her head, and she smiled tenderly at him, reaching to cup his cheek. And despite the cold and the wet mud around them, she found she was rather warm. Looking into those beautiful brown eyes kept the cold away, even the chilly breeze that had been blowing, and she stroked his cheek, forgetting momentarily that she was simply wiping mud back and forth on the arch of his cheekbone. She leaned up, he leaned down, mirroring her thoughts, and they kissed.
There was something familiar lingering on the edge of their kiss, Maggie knew instantly what it was, and her smile widened. She pulled Glenn closer, her hand slipping around his shoulders, and she was about to kiss him once more when Enid's voice cut in.
"As romantic as making out in the mud is," Enid suggested, "maybe getting out and avoiding catch the flu would be better. Also we have walkers."
Maggie shot up at the moment of walkers, nearly falling once more, but she stepped out of the mud puddle and wiped the mud off the machete she'd brought. She and Enid tended to the walkers while Glenn waddled his way out of the mud. He was crawling to prevent landing on his ass or his face, and the girls hauled him up. Maggie couldn't brush the mud from his hair without adding more, so she decided to have Enid seriously hose them off outside their home. It was too cold for it, but they had blankets and a shower and they'd be fine. Well, she would. Glenn had a weak immune system, so she might have to nurse him back to health.
Enid walked ahead of them with the baskets, Glenn laced his fingers through Maggie's, and she leaned against him, smiling softly. She knew when the breeze picked up, they'd have to haul ass back home prevent the mud drying in places it shouldn't, but for now...it was nice. It was something simple, but it had been enough. She had Enid in her family, and she and Glenn...found that last part the miscarriage had taken from them. Searching for cookie ingredients definitely had been a good idea.
Back in Alexandria, Enid hosed the pair off as best she could, Glenn didn't even jolt at the icy blast, and Maggie squealed when it smacked her right in the chest, and soon they were clean enough to go inside. Maggie dumped their clothes on the porch to be dealt with later, Enid headed out to deliver the ingredients to Carol—or at least the kitchen of her home—and Glenn and Maggie headed for the shower.
Maggie moaned blissfully at the hot water that shot out of the shower head, stepping into its spray, and Glenn wrapped his arms around her. She leaned back into him, opening her eyes as she nuzzled her head into his neck, and he kissed her temple.
She turned in his arms, cupping his now warm and spotless cheeks and locking her eyes in his. "I love you."
"I love you too."
She grinned and kissed him, pulling him closer, and that old familiar spark returned, just as it had moments ago in the mud. She didn't understand how or why, but it happened. It had come back, and nothing really felt different yet it was. Their entire relationship had transformed. It had overcome, and they were still standing together. She didn't know what other challenges the world would throw at them, but if they could get through this, she was sure they could get through anything.
Soon she wasn't sure if it was the steam of the shower or the potency of his kisses that made it hard to breathe.
– – –
Daryl sought shelter from the storm in an nearby house. He was miles away from Alexandria, and he wasn't entirely sure he'd made the correct choice. It was his make, and he was the only one who could help him, as Maggie had said. He had tried other people's approach to romance to no avail. He wasn't like them, and they weren't like them, so he had to do this the only way he thought—maybe—would work.
He'd watched Rick and Michonne at breakfast, picking at his oatmeal more than eating it, and he'd tried not to notice Carol sitting beside him. She had a delicate way of eating, he'd noticed. She was so adorable, but so beautiful too. Her hair was all fluffy and soft, and she was wearing a false smile—which left a bitter taste in his mouth to this moment—but she was enthralling. He'd locked his eyes on Rick and Michonne to keep from staring at her like a damn stalker, and he'd noticed the occasional touches. Neither one pulled away, just let their fingers linger, and it was almost sweet.
But when he'd tried it on Carol, it wasn't. He didn't do much, just reached out to grasp her fingers, and she'd been in a foul mood. She didn't want to be touch, not even lightly, and he should have picked up on that, but he was too nervous about trying. He wasn't good at this. He'd never had to do this before. Not once in his whole goddamn life had he had to figure out how to tell a woman he loved her. It wasn't even just that. Carol wasn't just a woman. She was his best friend. She was his family. She was part of him. She was like a lung or his torso, and he couldn't bare to destroy what they had, because it'd kill him. Just as it'd kill him to lose a lung and his torso. She was the first person to look at him and see more, to tell him he could be more, without wanting anything in return.
And to be honest he felt like he was asking her for something now. He knew it'd hurt when she told him she didn't feel the same. He knew it'd be like a damn cement wall on his chest, and he knew he wouldn't be able to be around her for a long time. He would miss a lot with the baby, but he'd make it up to the kid later. He just couldn't...prepare himself for any other answer than "I love you, but like a brother" or "You're my best friend, Daryl. I don't see you any other way. I'm sorry", and the other responses were cruel ones his mind had conjured up that he knew Carol wouldn't say to him. He couldn't bear to hear her say she was still in love with Tobin. He didn't know if she did or ever was, but he knew if she said those words, he wouldn't be able to recover. A stranger had earned her love while he fumbled blindly in the dark trying to figure out what the hell love was.
He had lost track of his point. He'd feel like if she did say yes, it'd be out of pity or out of obligation. They'd been friends for so long, and she knew him better than anybody. She might feel she had to do this, because she knew how much it'd hurt him. He didn't want that. He wanted her honestly, or he wanted her to make it clear that she didn't and wouldn't return his feelings so his mind wouldn't try and trick him with false hope. He'd had enough of that in his life, and he couldn't handle anymore. Love was torture, he'd learned, and he couldn't endure it for the rest of his life. He was going to be involved with her and with the baby, and he couldn't have the weight of false hope on his heart. It would strain their relationship, and it would cause a rift. One that might expand until she was a single mother, and he was just someone who used to be there but was now a distant memory to the kid.
That was another reason his tongue thickened. He couldn't bare for his feelings to be the reason Carol raised this child alone. When she told him she didn't feel the same, he worried she'd tell him she would handle this alone. Or she'd lean on Glenn and Maggie, or Michonne, or Rick. He didn't want to be in the background of her kid's life. Or her life. He wanted to still be friends, but he knew this would change everything. She might feel awkward around him or worry she was leading him on. He didn't want her to worry about that. Hell, even if she was, this area was so unfamiliar to him he probably wouldn't pick up on it. He didn't even know how to flirt, and Merle's idea of flirting was harassment. He wouldn't say anything Merle said to women to Carol. She'd probably punch him in the jaw if he did, and he'd let her. God knows how Merle didn't get a bloody lip for the shit he said. Well, more than he did anyway.
He shook water out of his hair and plopped down onto the couch, done with locking up the place, and he leaned back, closing his eyes and trying to get comfy. It wouldn't be easy, given his heart hadn't stopped racing since he saw Carol at home, and every nerve in his body was alive with trepidation and worse-case scenarios. He didn't know if he'd be able to sleep a wink, but he could hope. His mind was being especially brutal, and he knew there could be a chance she felt the same, but for the life of him he couldn't invest in that chance. It never worked out before, so why would this be any different?
His mind began to punish him with unwanted thoughts of what could happen if Carol did feel the same, and he dragged a hand through his hair, squeezing his already closed eyes tighter shut, and he groaned.
He would be able to kiss her. He would be able to hold her, and not just for a hug, not just for a moment. He could hold her through the night. He could stroked her hair and kiss her cheeks and be there beside her when she woke up in the morning. He could touch her and feel the baby against his palm without worrying if he was making her uneasy. He could be there for her and for the baby always.
There were other thoughts, other images, but he banished them. He didn't want to think of Carol like that. He was alone in an empty house, and there was no one around, but he didn't like how he felt when he thought about her like that in this type of situation. She meant enough to him that he couldn't go there. She was his friend first, and until he knew...how she felt, he'd keep that out of his mind. He'd try, anyway. It wasn't like he could control his damn dreams.
He hated the vivid ones he'd been having since he piece his feelings together. He could practically taste her skin and smell her hair. He could feel her on top of him, mounting him, and he couldn't keep his mind from going there while he was awake. Partly why he didn't stick around as much as he used to. He had terrible moments of deja vu, and his body would react at the thoughts, and he couldn't explain that to her without coming off as a complete creep. He didn't want Carol to think of him in that way. He didn't know exactly what way he wanted Carol to think of him in, but it wasn't as a creep. She'd had enough of those in her life, and he...hoped he wasn't one of them...
He wasn't like Ed. He'd never raise a hand to her. He'd sooner die than to lift his hand to intentionally cause her harm. He couldn't still the flames that roses up in his stomach at those fuckers who did try to hurt her, and he knew he couldn't do that to her. It wasn't in him to hurt her. That one time on the farm when he lunged at her, and she stood there, offering her cheek for him...was when he knew. His stomach dropped to his damn feet, his heart stopped beating, and he wanted to pitch himself off a cliff, because he'd stepped over the lines of victim toward abuser. He wouldn't be his old man, and he wouldn't hurt the people he loved. To see her do that, to know where she'd come from and what she'd just lost...yet she still offered herself as a punching bag for him, if that's what it took for him to be okay...was astonishing and horrifying. He didn't want to see her do that ever again. He'd rather the earth swallow him whole than to see her offer herself up like that for anybody.
And Tobin? He wasn't a damn thing like that man. He was blind to who Carol was, and it wasn't until the end that he knew he'd sat still while she blindfolded him to who she truly was. He had this perfect bubble of how things were and how he thought they should be, and Carol refused to let him pop it—though it came undo on its own. Daryl and Tobin weren't even on the same coin, so there was little to argue. Tobin was just a guy who was sheltered by the world and by Alexandria, and he would have been a good father had he not been so foolhardy and headstrong and passionate about securing the future of the town. He saved partly did that, but the cost wasn't worth it.
Daryl didn't want to remain on a dead men, so he lied down to wait the storm out, hands stacked on his stomach, and he inhaled the icy wet air. He hoped by this time tomorrow he was either heading back towards Alexandria or was already there. For Carol's sake, he hoped. Well, Carol's sake and the relief his heart yearned for. Good or bad, he had to know where he stood with Carol. As her best friend and family member only, or...perhaps more. He knew how short life was in this world, especially now, and he couldn't swallow this now that he knew what it was. He'd seen so many relationships in this world. Good ones like Maggie and Glenn, and doomed ones like Rick and Lori, and he didn't want to be like them. They didn't make any progress, and Lori died when there was still hostility and bitterness between them. There was a moment before the walkers filled the yard that Daryl saw that maybe Rick was about to patch it up, or talk to her, but...the world intervened as it always would. He wouldn't let him and Carol stand still and drift apart, so come what may, he would tell her in his own way the minute he was back in Alexandria that he was in love with her.
– – –
Carol sat on the porch, nestled in the blanket she'd taken off the back of the couch, and she searched the night sky. She wasn't looking for answers. She had no questions the stars or the sky could answer, and she heaved a sigh, wrapping herself even more in the blanket. It was too cold to be out there, but she couldn't sleep, and her bedroom felt this cold. There was no escaping that.
The front door opened, boots thudded over to her, and she looked beside her when Rick sat down, letting out a sigh himself and propping his elbows on his upraised knees. She couldn't see his expression, the porch light casting a shadow along it, so she didn't know if she was in for another lecture or perhaps some type of talk. She didn't care for either, but she was honestly happy to not be alone for once.
"It's a nice night." He rubbed his palms together. "A bit chilly, so I'm guessin' it's near late October."
"I guess so." She peered at him. "The leaves are changing."
"Bit by bit." He nodded. "You should have brought another blanket out here, one for me."
She smirked. "I'm not sharing, and you came out all on your own."
He chuckled. "That's true." He rubbed his warmed hands over his cool cheeks. "Why are you out here?"
"I couldn't sleep."
"Been hearin' that a lot lately." He rested his hands in his lap. "Anythin' you wanna talk about?"
"No. It's just nerves." She hugged the blanket tighter. "And a poor mattress."
"I'll try and see if there's anythin' we can use to pad your mattress with."
"Don't worry about it."
"I am worryin' about it." He locked his eyes in hers. "Carol, you're not sleepin' at all. I wake up in the dead of night 'cause I think I hear Judy, but it's not her. She's out cold. It's just you. I stayed up the majority of last night, tryin' to see if you were goin' to bed or not, but you never went down. You look awful, and...it's not healthy. Not for you, not for the baby."
"I can't help it. If I could, I would have done something by now."
"I know, but we have to try somethin'."
"There is no "we", Rick." She shook her head. "It's me who can't sleep, not you, not Michonne or Carl. It's just me." She blinked back the tears in her eyes. "It's just me."
He frowned. "Carol—"
"I should try and get some rest." She stood up. "Good night."
He turned towards her, hand on the cold wood, and he groaned a sigh when she vanished inside the house. That wasn't his plan at all. He knew there was something eating her, and it was coming out in her worn state. He wanted someone to be there when it did, and as Daryl had been gone for three fucking days, it would appear it'd have to be him. Or Michonne. Maggie and Glenn were...distracted, so unless Denise caught her at the right time, it'd have to be one of them.
He cut his gaze over to the gate, knowing a major reason why Carol couldn't sleep. Where the fuck are you, Dixon? he seethed.
– – –
Sasha playfully shoved Abraham away, reminding him that he and Eugene had another productive day of testing the first batch of bullets they'd been able to make, and she was about to kiss him goodbye when a loud rumbling came. She turned as Spencer opened the gate for Daryl, and she was relieved to see him in one piece. She was ready to lecture the shit out of him, but Abraham stopped her. They watched as he pulled his bike in, dismounted and took off like a shot towards the house.
"What the hell?" Sasha blinked. "Who lit a fire under his ass?"
Abraham smirked. You ever think about settling down? "Let him be."
She narrowed her eyes at him. "What do you know?"
He chuckled. "Something you don't for a change."
"If you're referring to Daryl being in love with Carol...then you're wrong there." She returned his smirk. "I have eyes, you know."
"Trust me, I know." He leaned down. "Eyes like a damn hawk."
"Exactly."
Spencer rolled his eyes at the banter and closed the gate, collecting the discarded bike and hauling it back to where it belonged. He found the front door wide open to Daryl's shared house with Rick and Michonne and their kids. He set the bike upright and padded up the stairs to close the door. He knew Abe and Sasha were right, so he'd at least give them some privacy should they be on the first floor.
––
Daryl caught his breath outside Carol's bedroom, though he knew she knew he was back—that, or someone just ran up the stairs for sport. His heart was pounding in his chest, and it wasn't from the run from the gate to here; it was in anticipation of the conversation to come. It was the stress and trepidation that had been with him since he climbed onto his bike to retrieve one single item. Well, it was a bundle of one thing, but that wasn't the point.
He straightened and knocked on the door, not wanting to rudely walk in without permission, and he inhaled deeply to try and release some of pressure, but it didn't work. In fact it may have added more. This moment was beyond massive. It would...change everything, and there was no point trying to belittle that. It was happening. As soon as she replied, it would happen, and everything would be different.
"Come in."
Daryl pushed the door open, Carol was in the chair by the bed, working on the baby blanket, and he smiled slightly at her, closing the door behind him, and he set the gift down on her nightstand.
She'd tensed at the sight of Daryl, but at the sight of what he'd brought with him...she damn nearly broke down into tears. She couldn't take her eyes off it, the white petals appeared to glow as the light hit them, the yellow of the center familiar, and her stomach knotted itself. She set the blanket down in the basket along with the other yarn and placed a hand to her stomach, her eyes locked on the wall in front of her.
"You...left...for that?" she ground out, tears burning in her eyes. "You were gone...for four nights...for those flowers?"
He shook his head. "There's...more to it than that."
She met his eyes and pleaded, "Take it and leave."
He frowned and tried to explain, but she wouldn't let him get the words out. He heard the struggle to remain steady in her voice, and he could see she was quaking. He drank in her pallor, how small she looked, and there was something vulnerable about her. She looked haggard, utterly ashen and fragile, and his heart broke. What happened while he was gone to make her look like this? To tremble and cry? And how long had it been with her?
"Please, I appreciate the sentiment, but I really don't want those flowers in my bedroom."
"What's wrong, Carol?" He approached her. "You're cryin'."
"Get rid of them," she weakly croaked. "Please."
"Is the baby okay?" He paled and tried to comfort her, but she wouldn't let him any closer. "What happened when I was out?"
She shook her head, pressing her fingertips into her temple, whimpering as tears cascading down her cheeks. She began to recall the last time she'd been given flowers and the events that follow, and she remembered the last time she'd been around flowers. She snapped under the burden of those memories. "I killed Lizzie..."
