Can't Let Go: PT 2


Chapter Fourteen


ARIZONA'S POV


I have a feeling my wife thinks I want this to be the outcome. The hitman. The violence. It really isn't like that and right now, I just want this to be over. I need this to be over. The thought of someone shooting a gun outside my home is something I've never imagined in my life but it's happened. It's happening and I don't like it. I don't like feeling unsafe in my own home. I don't like not knowing what is coming next. My wife is ready give birth at any moment and people are trying to kill us. Kill is or intimidate us. Whichever one it is, none of this is good. We live in a good neighbourhood. We live in the ideal area. Imagine what our neighbours must think knowing this is happening on our street? Imagine what they're saying about us? I can't even bring myself to think about it and honestly, my attack is firmly at the back of my mind right now. This is more important. I may feel different about it all but in a weird way, it's nice to not think about what they did to me. It's weirdly nice to not think about him on top of me. Hurting me. Crushing my body...his breath on my skin. I have to push it from my mind and fix what is happening here. I cannot allow my wife to feel unsafe and unfortunately, I feel like this is the only way to go about it. I feel like we don't have any other way to fix this. I could be wrong and I may live to regret this, but in this moment…it has to happen. In this moment…I cannot take this feeling of being helpless any longer. I already feel helpless in my own body and mind and I cannot feel helpless in my own home. Not now…not ever.

Alexis is due here in the next few minutes and I need to know how my wife is feeling. I need to know that everything is going to be okay between us because if this ends our marriage, I'll stop it. If there is even a slight hint of us being unhappy after this, I'll stop it all now. "Talk to me…" I step up beside her at the kitchen counter.

"I don't know what you want me to say…" She breathes out. "I mean, it's one thing to have Alexis here, but to know why…I just don't know what you want me to say."

"That we're going to be okay after this." I sigh. "That you aren't going to go on hating me."

"What if people get hurt, Arizona? What if someone who is just walking down the street becomes involved and they die?"

"I-I…I don't know." I drop my head between my shoulders. "I really don't."

"Maybe we should just discuss it first?"

"Okay." I agree as I take my glass of water in my hand, clearing my throat as I do. "You know, Xavi said something to me last night when we were out back together…"

"I know, you've told me all about it." She settles her hand over my own. "I'm going to call the school."

"N-No, not about that." I shake my head. "Something he said about mom calling Tim."

"Oh, what did he say?"

"That mom called him and told him to stop being a hero." I study my wife's face but she doesn't seem to have a reaction to what I've just said. "Do you have any idea what that means?"

"N-No." My wife clears her throat. "No idea…"

"Eliza?" I narrow my eyes. "I know you know something…"

"I can't say." She breathes out. "It isn't my place to say."

"You're my wife and I'd appreciate it if you could be honest with me."

"I want to…" She nods. "But you should call your mom."

"They've gone after them, haven't they?" My eyes fill with tears. "Dad and Tim, they've gone after the Russians."

"Arizona…" My wife drops her gaze. "I didn't want them to do it. I told them they shouldn't do it…"

"Damn it, Eliza!" The glass of water in my hand being thrown against the nearest wall, I shock myself with my actions. "Shit, I'm sorry." Watching as my wife backs away from me, she turns and moves into the living room, tears in her eyes. "Eliza, I'm sorry…"

"Sure, yeah." She gives me a small smile as she takes a seat on the couch. "I deserved that."

"No, you didn't." I close the distance between us and drop down to the edge of the coffee table. "You didn't deserve that at all and I'm sorry…"

"I asked them not to do it, Arizona." Her voice breaks. "I just…they want you safe, too."

"And going after them is the way to keep me safe?" I'm having more of a discussion with myself right now. Eliza is simply staring at me. Staring…and probably hating me. "I have to call my mom."

"Okay." She nods, tugging her fingers. "Whatever you need to do."

"I can't believe you didn't tell me." I breathe out, disappointment evident in my voice. "When did they leave?"

"The night we got the call from the hospital." She admits. "They were planning to leave before we knew you had been found…"

"A week?" My eyes widen. "N-No, more than a week…"

"I think your mom keeps in touch with them…" Eliza gives me a hopeful look. "You call her and I'll get the glass cleaned up."

"No, you won't." I shake my head. "You're staying there and relaxing. You've had enough to deal with today. I'm sorry."

"Hard to relax when someone is trying to kill us." She scoffs, her words barely a mumble. "And I think Alexis just arrived." Our security system alerting us to a visitor, I head for the door and figure I'll deal with the glass later.

Pulling it open, I find Alexis climbing from her car, a full smile on her face. "Hey, Zo."

"Hey, come on in." I motion for her to head inside as I step away from the door. "Thanks for coming…"

"Hey, Eliza." She gives my wife a slight smile. "I didn't expect a call from you…"

"I didn't think I'd be calling, either." My wife eyes me intently. "Things change, though."

"Well, I'm glad you called anyway." She heads for the kitchen. "So, you wanna start up with the boxing?"

"No, not yet." I clear my throat. "The help Eliza was talking about is the other kind of help."

"Oh, you mean…" She narrows her eyes. "The other issue?"

"Yeah." I nod. "Just…we couldn't talk on the phone. They've got them all tapped."

"Of course, they have." Eliza pulls herself up onto a stool. "So, I already called him. You know, mentioned it. Tested the waters."

"And?"

"Half a million." She shrugs. "Told him he could have one, instead."

"But is this guy going to be around to spend it, Alexis?" I give her a knowing look. "Is this too dangerous?"

"No, and when I told him who he was to target…he got a little excited." She admits. "Turns out…Eighteen months ago, his mom and sister were shot dead down by the Hudson. They were estranged for a long time so the Russians didn't know he was around. He isn't sure they even know he exists."

"Okay…"

"So, he's ready to do this for you." Alexis nods. "He's ready and like these things always turn out…the police probably won't even investigate it." She gives me a reassuring smile but I'm not feeling overly reassured right now. Call me crazy, but I still feel bad about this. "He says it will be quick."

"How?"

"Explosive device." Alexis states. "He knows where they meet to do their business. They never meet during the day. He believes there to be around seventeen of them there every night and it's kinda like some sort of club for them."

"Where?" I ask.

"Down by the river." My ex states. "Disused building that over time they have made their own. It's heavily secure but during the day, nobody is around."

"And what about civilians getting caught up in it?"

"Not likely." She shakes her head. "These guys do their business away from the public. He thinks they've been using the building for at least three years."

"Who is this guy?" My wife cuts in.

"I don't have a name for you," Alexis replies. "The less we all know…the better."

"So, you're just going to hand over $1 million to this guy and take his word for it?" She raises an eyebrow. "That's a little stupid, don't you think? I mean, he could be one of them. Hell, you could be one of them." My wife narrows her eyes. "Are you one of them?"

"One of who?" Alexis gives us both a look of confusion.

"One of the people who hurt Arizona. Involved in it, at least?"

"Y-You are joking, right?" She scoffs. "I mean, I know you don't like me and I know you don't trust me…but seriously?"

"I'm asking you a question." Eliza stands and shrugs. "One that I'm perfectly entitled to ask." Brushing past my ex, she moves into the kitchen and pulls a bottle of water from the refrigerator. "You two may be perfectly fine with being the best of friends again, but not me, Alexis."

"Eliza…"

"I will be watching you." Eliza gives Alexis a sarcastic smile. Whilst I love that my wife can hold her own, this really isn't necessary. Alexis is here to help and I wish Eliza would see that. She made her life hell. I can totally understand my wife's worry, but times have changed. We've all changed. "We have kids, Alexis. Gorgeous, beautiful kids who cannot be at home because it's not safe…"

"I know." Alexis nods slowly.

"And I'm really not here for your games." She stares her down as she approaches my ex. "So, if that is what you're here for, you can leave. If not…you're welcome here."

"No games from me." Alexis holds up her hands. "I swear to you, Eliza…none."

"Then you should probably stay for dinner while we figure all of this out."


"H-Hello?"

"Tim, it's me." I breathe a sigh of relief when I hear my brothers voice. "You doing okay?"

"Sure, Zo." He replies. "Just…out with dad."

"Yeah, you can come home now." I smile. "I want you both at my place in the next thirty…"

"Oh, we're out of town."

"Bullshit!" I scoff. "I know whats going on and I want you at my place in thirty. You don't show, I'll come and find you myself."

"I-I, uh…I should run it by dad first."

"Since when do you care about dad and what he wants." I laugh. "You can both stop now. It's being handled."

"What does that even mean?" My brother asks.

"It doesn't matter what it means," I reply. "My place…or I'm calling Sanchez and telling her what's going on."

"You wouldn't!"

"Wanna test me on that, huh?" Ending the call, I set my cell down on the coffee table and glance up at my wife. "I still can't believe you didn't tell me, Eliza."

"Yeah, well you arranged a hitman with your ex and didn't tell me until you knew you had to." Okay, I deserve that. "You see where I'm coming from?"

"Y-Yeah." I sigh as I drop back against the couch. "Maybe we should just call all of that quits, huh?"

"If it makes you feel better…whatever." She shrugs. "Everything is just getting way out of hand."

"Hey…" Shifting closer to my wife, I take her hand in my own and give her a soft smile. "We've got this, Eliza…"

"How am I supposed to relax with everything going on around us?" Her voice breaks. "How am I supposed to bring our daughter safely into this fucked up world when this is happening?"

"Everything is going to be okay…"

"You say that, but you can't be sure." She shakes her head. "This could all go wrong and we both end up dead."

"Not gonna happen." I shake my head. "You think I'd ever let anyone hurt you?"

"No." She rests her head on my shoulder. "I know exactly what you've been through for me…"

"That isn't what I meant." My hand settles on her back, my palm gently ghosting up and down. "Why don't you take a lie down?"

"I'm okay here…" She breathes out. "I'm not sure I could settle anyway." Alexis left our home almost thirty minutes ago and since then, Eliza has been on edge. I'm feeling the fear too, but I don't have time to sit and think about it. Just like I don't have time to sit and think about my attack. I need to keep my mind clear. I need to think about what is happening right here and now…not the past. I know once this all settles, things will creep back into my mind, but for now…I'm okay. I have to be. Weakness isn't an option for me right now. Weakness isn't going to keep either of us safe.

"You know…I just want us to be safe and happy." I press a kiss to the top of my wife's head. "I'm not trying to play the asshole by doing this. You know that, right?"

"I know." She nods slowly. "Maybe when this is all over…we should just leave New York." Laughing, I suspect she's half joking but it's not the worst idea in the world.

"Yeah, that could work." I agree. "Anywhere in particular?"

"Arizona, I was joking." She lifts her head and studies my face.

"I wasn't."

"You wanna leave New York?" Eliza furrows her brow. "You would do that?"

"In this moment…yes." I shrug. "A fresh start could be something that I need. What we all need."

"What about the office?" She asks. "You wouldn't be able to work from there."

"I'm done with the place, Eliza." I give her a sad smile. "I'm selling up."

"W-What?" Her eyes widen. "You cant sell up…that's your baby."

"Maybe so…" I agree. "But the thought of ever stepping foot in the city again is the most terrifying thought I've ever had."

"It will get better…" She settles her hand on my thigh. "Don't do anything without thinking it through first, okay?"

"I wouldn't." I shake my head. "But right now, I know exactly what I want."

"And what is that?" My wife tilts her head a little.

"You and I…in a Californian home. Our kids happy. Just…life ticking by without worrying about anything ever again."

"Wow, you've clearly been thinking about this."

"Maybe." I shrug. "I'm thinking of giving it all to Jo." I try to gauge my wife's reaction. "I'll consult, but it would be her business."

"Jeez, Arizona…slow down."

"Maybe I could build us our home in California? Los Angeles, maybe?" I may be getting carried away with my own thoughts, but I don't care right now. It's taking my mind off everything else and yeah…I'd move tomorrow given half the chance.

"Arizona…"

"Just…think about it." I squeeze her hand. "That's all I ask."

"Okay." Eliza smiles. "Shit, this day has been a lot to take in." Shaking her head, we both settle back against the couch and it feels good to have her in my arms. I've hated feeling too scared to be touched. I've hated unintentionally pushing my wife away. I know we have a long long way to go, but this feels good. It feels right. For the first time since I was ran off the road and attacked, I feel like maybe my life will get better. I don't know what the next few days or weeks will entail, but I have to focus on what I have here. The most amazing wife. The only woman I will ever move heaven and earth for. Anything I am and anything that I have…it is all because of Eliza.


Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.