Disclaimer: I own nothing.
– – –
Daryl exited the house, the mist of the morning cloaking the ground, and he bowed his head, nearing the group gathered around the cars and the truck. Rosita was leaning against the front of a car, arms folded, avoiding eye contact with anybody, and he knew they were in the same head space. He could only hope that once they were on the road, it wouldn't bother him as much.
Maggie and Glenn stood by the car they were going to be driving with Enid. They had tried to slip out without waking her. There was no need for a dramatic goodbye. They would be back soon, and she wouldn't have to worry, but they were glad she had woken up to see them off. More than glad, they realized as she lightly decked Glenn in the arm and scolded Maggie for trying to leave without saying a word.
"Be good." Maggie embraced her tightly. "Don't forget to study hard."
"I will, and I won't forget." She squeezed her. "I'll be the ideal house guest."
"We know you will be." Glenn moved in for his hug when Maggie released her. "Stay safe, okay? When on patrol and on the wall, be careful for our sake."
"I will be."
He stepped back. "And take care of the puppy. Maybe think of a name for her."
"I have some ideas on them, but I'll let you know when you guys get back." She tucked her hands in her hoodie pocket. "How long until that is? Just an estimate."
"We can't say for sure, but maybe a week at the longest?" Maggie glanced at her husband, and he shrugged. "It just depends how things go."
She nodded. "I'm coming with you guys next time."
"We'll see." Glenn gestured towards Maggie and shook his head, as if saying Maggie wouldn't allow her to go on such a dangerous run, and Maggie rolled her eyes. "What? It's the truth."
"Be quiet, or I'll make you drive the entire way."
"We agreed to take turns."
"That was before you started tellin' Enid I'm an overprotective person."
"You are!"
"I know she can take care of herself," she stated. "I trust her to survive."
"Then you'll go all mama bear on her, and she won't be able to take two steps out of camp. It's adorable, Maggie. It's not an insult." He smiled lovingly at her. "I doubt Enid thinks so."
"In theory it's all right," Enid replied. "But on our next run? I'll hate it."
"Well, I care." She reached out and smoothed downed a section of Enid's hair. "You'll just have to learn to live with it."
"I already am." Enid smiled. "Be careful, you guys. For my sake. I can't... I don't want anything bad to happen to you. Either of you, so be alert and cautious and as safe as you can be."
"We will be."
Tara and Denise walked by the Rhees, checking on the supplies, and Tara confirmed they had everything. Spencer and Abraham were loading up the empty totes from Glenn's last run into the back of the truck. They would use them to transport the medicine they found and any other salvageable items. Francine and and Leo were tucking away the gasoline in the back of their cars, and Rosita and Daryl were being two grouchy logs.
"We're not in the same car as them, right?" Tara turned to her girlfriend. "I mean, they're family, but during a long car ride, I'd rather not be trapped in a small space with two people who look miserable and somewhat pissed."
Denise snickered. "We have Spencer and Francine. Daryl and Rosita are taking the truck."
"Thank God." Though Tara would find time to talk Rosita. She definitely needed it from the look on her face. "I call shotgun."
"How about something better?" Denise offered. "You drive?"
"Not until I nap. I'm so tired right now."
"Fine, but when I wake you up, you're driving. How does that sound?"
"Fair." She kissed her. "All right, let's round up the stragglers. We have to get going. We're wasting daylight."
Everyone loaded into their cars, Maggie and Glenn lingered for a moment with Enid, and Enid opened the gate. She watched them pull out, car after car until the truck was the last to slip out, and she tightened her grip on the gate as she slid it shut, watching them disappear. She felt like part of her heart had been ripped out, following Maggie and Glenn as they went out into the world without her. It hurt more than she thought it would.
"Hey." Sasha, who had been on the wall, rubbed her back underneath her hood, "don't worry. They'll be back before you know it."
She looked up at the older woman and nodded. "I know they'll be back, but...I think it's gonna feel like forever."
She smiled sympathetically at the young girl. "Well, I guess we're going to have to keep you busy then."
She chuckled, a weak imitation of her actual laugh, and she lowered her eyes. "I guess so."
Sasha pulled her close and squeezed her shoulder, being there for her silently now. The wind began to pick up, blowing at them, and Sasha shivered, feeling Enid shudder beside her. She told the girl to get inside where it was warm, and she returned to her position on the wall. She would have a lot to do while they were gone, so she better get this shift over with. They weren't the only one who'd have things to show off upon their return.
– – –
They had driven through two days and almost through two nights, stopping only for bathroom breaks and for meals. It was a pleasant drive for most of them. Glenn and Maggie were curled up in the back of their car when they finished their portion of driving for the day, Tara and Denise were going over the plan, and Rosita and Daryl were embracing the lovely sounds of nature. Not a single word was shared between the pair, not since they climbed inside and made it known they weren't in the chatting mood. They were both grateful.
They stopped for the night. Daryl and Glenn gathered wood for a fire, Maggie and Rosita and Tara set the parameter with rope that held noisy objects, and Abraham volunteered to take watch. Daryl had already appointed himself on guard for the night, but he didn't mind sharing. They had quite a large group, so two on guard couldn't be a negative thing.
Glenn and Maggie lowered the backseats in their car, laying out the blankets to sleep with for the night. Maggie lied down and Glenn brought over some food fresh off the fire, and Maggie smiled at his not-at-all enthusiastic reaction to the meat Francine and Abe had caught.
"It has to be better than the owl." She reached over to try it for herself and her lip curled up. "Hmm."
"Right?"
"Okay." She sat up. "It's funky."
"Really funky." He moved beside her and studied her. "You miss her?"
"Huh?" She met his gaze. "I don't miss her."
"Maggie."
"I don't."
"It's okay to miss her. She's been with us for a while now, and she's part of our family. I kinda miss her. I'm definitely worried about her. Without us, I'm concern she might start roaming again."
She frowned. "Now I'm worried about her."
"She can take care of herself."
"You're the one who put these thoughts into my head," she reminded him. "I wouldn't have gone there if you hadn't said anythin'. You can't undo it with assurances."
"Fine, have me weird meat and try to get some sleep."
"I napped most of the ride. I'm not tired." She did take more of the meat.
He crossed his legs and balanced the plate on the console between the driver and passenger seats. "So, we're doing this." She looked at him. "We've talked about this run, prepared for it, and it's finally here. I'm glad. I want it over, and I want the medicine and any equipment we can salvage, but...my stomach is in knots. Who knows what we'll run into in that hospital, who might be staying there, what...might be lurking there."
She smiled at him, and it was laced with gentle affection. "Whatever we find...we'll be able to handle it. I'm not gettin' cocky; I just know what we're capable of, and we're not alone. Francine will be a great lead, and we both know you already are."
He bowed his head. "Maggie, the last time I lead a team...I lost every one of them."
"You were the only one prepare for the worst. We have Daryl, Rosita, Abe, Eugene, Tara and Denise. The others might get scared, but they won't run. They know how important this is. They volunteered, knowin' the stakes. Give 'em some credit."
"I am, but...it's a hospital, Mag. It's not in a big city. It's not like the one Rick came out of. It's practically in the middle of nowhere, and...and they may not have gotten to it. It could be overflowing with walkers, or even people. They might have settled there."
"We won't know until we're there." She reached over and grasped his hand. "We'll do some recon, and we'll see what we're in for. If it's too much, we won't do it. Daryl and Denise want this so badly, but they're not gonna risk our lives for it."
He shifted and wrapped his arms around her lower back, his head resting on her stomach, and he tossed a blanket over them. "Okay."
She chuckled lightly and weaved her fingers through his hair. "Okay." She placed a kiss to those dark locks and gently lulled him to sleep by stroking his hair. She closed her eyes and hoped Enid found sleep easier.
Outside Francine and Spencer began laying out sleeping bags and blankets. They couldn't all fit into a car, and as Glenn and Maggie had claimed their car, and Tara and Denise the back of the truck and Rosita Francine's car, the rest of them were left sleeping on the ground. Some had taken up in the remaining cars, but the lack of warmth drew them back. Spencer laughed under his breath and fed the fire, and Francine went to scrounge up some more sticks just in case they ran out. Leo went to lend her a hand—and his flashlight.
"And the truck thief shows her face," Spencer mused when Tara came out.
"You're just jealous you didn't think of it first." There wasn't enough room in the back for more than a couple people with the empty totes for medicine and the rope for securing the equipment and such. So it was a two person room and those two people were her and Denise. At least for the duration of the trip to, on the way back they'd be just as uncomfortable on the ground as the rest of them.
"True." He handed her a plate. "If you need any extra blankets, Maggie put them in the front seat of their car."
"We're good, but thanks."
"You don't have to thank me. It's just blankets."
"Learn to take a compliment." She lightly punched his shoulder. "I doubt you get very many."
He sent her a glare. "Then you're welcome."
She smirked and walked off, climbing back inside the semi-warm cocoon she and Denise had made. "I bring ambiguous meat."
"I'm not hungry." She was reviewing the notes they'd taken.
"You have to eat." She set the plate down. "You've had one oat cake today, and I'm pretty sure I saw Rosita finishing it off."
"I'm not hungry," she repeated, still not looking up at her.
"Denise." Her tone was low and brimming with concern, and those light eyes finally met hers. "You have to eat. We have a long drive ahead of us still, but...who knows what we might run into. You need to keep up your strength."
"I'm too nervous to swallow anything."
"Could you just try? Please, for me?"
She lowered the notepad and plucked a handful of meat off the plate, eating it to appease her girlfriend then groaning at the taste. "What is that?"
Tara busted out laughing.
"What did you just feed me?" She glared. "Tara!"
"I dunno what it is, but that was priceless." She fell back onto the blankets, her ribs aching as her chest bubbled up with laughter. "I wish I had a camera."
"You're an ass."
She rolled her head to the side, grinning. "You would have laughed too if you'd seen your face."
"Why don't you eat some?"
"I did. Outside earlier with Francine." She rolled her to be on her side now. "I was going to try and talk to Rosita, but she's stewing in the front seat of the car. If her vibes weren't enough to keep me away, her glare was."
"Well, Abraham and Spencer both are here with us. She's in the same group as Spencer...and Abraham too, technically." She was on inside guard, and Spence and Abe were moving equipment as Abe was filling in Michonne's slot, and Spencer was just physically strong and was tossed in there. It wasn't as vital a job as Glenn's group or Francine's. Rosita would be protecting them from any threats that appeared on their way through the hospital, and Glenn was protecting them all from any threats that showed up on their way outside to the truck. If any noise they made drew walkers, he and his group would have to take them out to keep Daryl's group safe.
"Well, Glenn's group already has six people in it, and we need to work as a team. Right now, Rosita isn't too down with the team vibes, so...it's her own fault. Inside guard can tolerate more solo moves than outside guard."
Denise heaved a sigh. "I hate that you're a part of Glenn's group, and I'm in medicine. I won't even see you until we're done."
"I think it's better that way." She rubbed her thigh. "We'll be able to focus better. You won't have to look after me, or me after you, putting anyone in danger because we love each other."
She smiled and laced her fingers through Tara's. "You're right, but that doesn't mean I like it."
"Then why are you smiling?"
"Because you said we love each other." A blush crossed her cheeks, and Tara ran her eyes over her face. "It's not that I forget, it's just...nice to hear."
"Well, I guess I oughta say it more." She leaned over and kissed her slowly, reaching up to cup her cheek, and when she pulled back, she placed a kiss to her forehead. "I love you."
Denise's smile widened. "I love you too."
"Then eat the ambiguous meat and get some sleep." She took the notepad away. "Turn your brain off."
"That's not possible, but I'll try."
"Good, because I can hear the gears in your head turning, and I can't sleep with all that noise."
"Oh, poor you. How have you survived all this time?"
"I sleep in the guest bedroom."
Denise blinked. "Do you really?"
"Only when you're planning exams."
"That's almost every week." She scrutinized her girlfriend. "Are you joking?"
"No, but you're adorable." She lied back. "I'm exhausted, so hurry up and eat."
"You can turn the light off."
"No, I wanna wait. It's cold. I want to cuddle and suck all the heat out of your body."
Denise chuckled. "Fine, but know it's against my will."
"Sure it is. I just happen to wake up and find you curled up against my back every morning, because you hate cuddling."
She laughed at the wink Tara sent her and finished off her dinner, lying down beside her and flicking the lantern off. "Good night."
She laced her fingers once more through Denise's. "Good night."
––
Rosita watched the group get settled in front of the fire, passing around food and water, and she could smell the food Francine had brought her still sitting in the passenger seat with a bottle of water beside it. She wasn't hungry, and she wasn't sure she could even give the freaky meat away. They would want her to eat, and she had no appetite for food.
With a grunt, she slipped out of the front seat of the car, closing it silently, and she approached the area where everyone was resting. Tara and Denise had chosen the truck to sleep in, Glenn and Maggie had cleared out the back of their car to rest in, and the others were around the fire, save for the two on watch right now. She only needed one person from this group.
"Hey." Francine tried to greet Rosita, but she kept walking. "Or...not." She wasn't sure what she did to piss Rosita off, but she hoped this attitude faded before they got to the hospital. She didn't need that negativity and brashness in her group. She'd have a talk with Rosita about it. If she let her even get out two words.
Rosita found who she was looking for bunking up in the shadows like an idiot, away from the fire and the warmth the group provided, and she grasped the front of his shirt on her way. He yelped at the sudden jerking movement, climbing quickly to his feet, and she dragged him off deeper into the woods, away from the group and into the cold. Stopping only to all but slam him against a tree, where he tripped backwards and nearly fell on his ass.
"Hey!" He caught his balance. "What the hell, Rosita?!"
"Keep your voice down," she hissed.
"Fine." He lowered his tone and pushed off the tree, adjusting the frumpy collar of his shirt. "What are you doing?"
"Just stop talking." She pushed him back against the tree. "It's just better if you don't talk."
"What?"
"Do I really have to spell it out for you?"
"What, here?"
"What's the matter, you scared?"
"No, of course not. It's just...not ideal. It's dark, and there are people right over there, not to mention walkers." He narrowed his eyes at her. "And I thought you hated me. You've spent months avoiding me, and whenever we do speak, you go off on me. Sometimes not even in English, and now—?"
"I never said we were friends, did I?" She searched his eyes then cast her gaze to the side. "If you don't want to, it's fine. I won't force you to do something you don't want to."
He caught her wrist before she could walk off. "I didn't say I didn't want to." He pulled her back. "You just...keep on surprising me, and I can't figure out if I like it or not."
She nearly smiled. "You can stop talking any second now." This time she was actually teasing.
He chuckled and pulled her against him, pushing back hair from her face. "Are you sure you want to do this?"
"I'm the one who brought you out there, wasn't I?" She tilted her head back, her hair falling further behind her, and she cupped a hand behind his neck, the other sliding down his shirt, her knuckles brushing against the rough material of his jeans, and she smirked when he shuddered. "What's the matter there, Spence? Cold getting to you?"
He chuckled softly and dropped his forehead down onto hers. "I think you'll be the death of me."
She laughed. "I'll certainly try." She yanked him down by the hand cupped on the back of his neck and crushed his mouth against hers.
––
Daryl sat with his back against the tree, his crossbow resting on his lap, and he scanned the area for movement. His jacket kept him warm, though he envied those curled up by the popping fire and those at home, all toasty and warm in their beds. He longed to be his own bed right now, but he had a job to do, and that could wait. Besides home was complicated right now, and he couldn't focus on that.
Yet that was all he could do. The look on Carol's face when she confronted him, the way she was silent all throughout their meal, how tense her body language was the entire conversation. It played in his mind, and he couldn't fight the lump forming in his throat. Three words and their entire relationship changed in the blink of an eye, and he still wasn't sure if it was good thing.
If the other morning gave any indication, it was absolutely a negative thing. She didn't even look at him. Perhaps she couldn't. Maybe she found the answer that night when she was "sleeping", and she couldn't return his feeling. Yet she couldn't send him off on this run with that knowledge, fearing he might do something stupid and get people killed. Or get himself killed. Maybe that was why she couldn't look at him, why she was clutching her blanket. She knew, and she didn't have the heart to tell him to his face just yet. She would probably wait until he got back and let him down gently. She would say all the right things, and he would love her more for it.
He yanked out a few blades of grass, a stinging sensation searing through the back of his eyes, and he huffed, avoiding eye contact, though nobody could see him.
Or maybe she realized...she still wasn't sure. He didn't know every inch of her mind, certainly not this part, as he didn't even know this part of his own mind. Well, it wasn't so much his mind as his heart. His head screamed at him for falling in love with the worst possible person. Honestly, he had to the biggest fool. He was such a jackass, a numskull, a...a damn pea brain! To fall in love with Carol, he had to be every one of those things and then some!
For the first time his in entire life he had someone. A constant, unwavering someone who would be by his side, who knew when to set a hand on his shoulder to comfort him, who knew when to hand him a weapon when he needed one. Someone who would silently eye him until he confessed everything with a single glance. Someone who understood. He never had to use words with her; she simply knew his mind and his heart, as he knew hers. There were walls between them, yes, but the important stuff—the way he knew she needed to keep what happened to the girls to herself, the way she knew he needed to let himself mourn Beth and Tyreese—was never hidden so deep they couldn't find it. All they had to do was be around each other, and it was all exposed, even the surface of old injuries and scars.
He never had someone like her in his entire life until the goddamn world ended, and he was finally able to collect himself and become more. He wasn't a nothing. He wasn't a nobody. Not when he provided, not when he stood by her side, not when he...not when he did his damn best for everyone, even if...the outcome wasn't what he wanted. He wasn't sure who he was, but Carol did. She set that bar so damn high that he was still jumping to reach it. A man of honor. That was who she saw when those big blue eyes moved his way. Not a redneck asshole, not a criminal, not a drug head, not all the things he tried to make himself out to be, because he didn't know who or what else there was he could be. He tried to fit into the shoes the world threw at him, and he never questioned it until he looked into those eyes and saw her looking at him. She wanted a hero, someone to find her little girl, and she looked to him. Not Rick, not Shane—him.
You're every bit as good as them. Every bit.
Those words left her lips without a moment's pause, words he knew she longed to hear herself. He didn't say anything to her then, but he did later. Nice shootin'. That was the first compliment he gave her. He had so many of them now, and he didn't know where to start. He wanted to shower them on her daily, because not only were they true, but he wanted her to know she had all of these lovely and awesome qualities. He wanted her to know she was more than just a blade or a mom or a good friend. He wanted her to know she was the best person he knew. She was brilliant and beautiful and crafty. She was the woman...who any guy—any guy—would be lucky to have. Even that lug Tobin. He had no clue what he had, and that made him twitch, but he was damn lucky to at least even had gotten close enough to hold her, to smooth back her soft hair, to kiss her...
He scratched a hand through his hair. He wasn't jealous of him anymore, but damn, it did piss him off a little. A hollow anger. He didn't have even a sliver of Carol. The real Carol, the one he loved, the woman he admired. He wanted the whole package—beautifully bruised heart, shadowed mind and all. He wanted to be with her, every inch of her that was authentically her, and he wanted her to want him back just as much. It was probably...wishful thinking, but it was the only thing to warm him on this freezing night. He really should have stayed closer to the fire.
"Hey." Abraham approached Daryl. "I'll take the rear of the camp." With a group this big, they should have two people on guard. It made sense. Now he was just letting him know where he'd be if he needed him, or if he wanted to get some shuteye.
"Yeah." He nodded. "Thanks."
"Don't mention it. I have a feeling I'd be in deep shit with Sasha if I didn't bust my nuts to keep you all safe."
Daryl smirked. "You're a real champ."
He chuckled. "I know."
Daryl scoffed and flicked the blades of grass in his hand off to the side as Abe departed, and he pulled his legs in to keep his body heat from wandering. He rested his arms across his knees, his crossbow beside him on the ground, and he gazed upward towards the night sky. He truly hoped she was sleeping tonight, instead of looking at the same night sky, riddle with insomnia.
Abraham walked through the camp, checking on their group, adding more wood to the fire as Francine shuddered in her sleep, and when it was properly fed, he rose to head back towards his spot to keep guard. However there was a sound in his ear, and he couldn't tell what it was. It wasn't entirely unfamiliar to him, so he investigated when he counted and saw one spot lay abandoned.
If pretty boy went and got himself bit, he bitterly grumbled, hearing the lecture that would await him. He had to keep that kid alive, for Deanna's sake. She was a good woman, and at least some part of her should survive, even this part.
Yet when he located the boy and the sound that caught his attention, he knew instantly he had nothing to worry about. He was a bit surprised to find him on the forest floor, screwing...someone he couldn't see in the darkness, only day into their run. Although he'd done the same thing, but that was different. He and Spencer were vastly different, and honestly...
Wait. He rethought the people curled up by the fire and the limited number of women traveling with them. Francine was out cold in her bag, it certainly wasn't Tara or Denise, and the Rhees were curled up in their car, so that left only one other woman. He glanced over, seeing that caramel skin in the moonlight. He narrowed his eyes when those dark orbs found his and held his gaze for a brief moment before he averted his eyes and walked away.
––
When they were done, Rosita dressed and stayed huddled up by the tree, listening to Spencer dress himself, laughing about how the cold now bothered him. She silently rubbed her arms and rolled her head to the side to gaze at him, and he caught her eye, smiling at her. She shook her head and shot up, he pulled his jacket back on, and she made to walk off.
"Hey, wait." He grasped her wrist.
"Why?" She didn't look at him. "We have an important day ahead of us. We need to get some sleep."
"Rosita—"
"Good night." She pulled herself free and headed back to the car she had crawled out of an hour ago. She stopped short and turned to the truck, tugging it up and climbing inside. Tara and Denise were cuddled up in the back, and she lowered the door slowly to try and mute its rusted wails. She then lied down beside Tara, her back to her, and she rested her head on her arm. It wasn't long before tears rolled down the bridge of her nose and she was snuffly as noiselessly as possible.
She hated this feeling taking up roots in her belly. She hated its green poison, and the power it held over her. She despised it. She was better than this, and she knew it. She was stronger. She was doing things she wasn't even sure why she was doing them, and it was getting her nowhere. She knew it wouldn't. It was just a distraction, but normally it'd do, and she would move on... Yet tonight, despite how good it felt, despite how attentive and compliant Spencer was, she felt hollow. Even worse she felt like trash. Scum. Lower than low. She was disgusted with herself.
And this time there was no avoiding it. It had showed its ugly head tonight, and it wasn't just that Abraham saw. She didn't care that he saw... Did she? She wasn't sure, but she couldn't deny how sweet the sex had become after he stomped off, but after it was over, and she thought about how he looked at them—at her—that sweetness became stale and bitter on her tongue. The green poison once more swept through her system, and she was left with nothing.
She buried her face in her arms, ashamed and frigid and alone. Just like Denise said on the tracks all those months ago. You're alone for probably the first time in your life.
"Hey." Tara sat up. "Rosita...?"
She didn't say anything, but she couldn't suppress the shivers leaving her body nor the whimpers that betrayed her and squeezed through her lips.
"Hey." She set a hand on her shoulder and turned the lantern on to shine light into the truck. "What happened?"
"Hmm..." Denise began to rouse at the light and the noise.
Rosita shook her head and rolled over, flinging herself towards the only people in this entire group she could openly trust. She landed with her head on Tara's lap, her hands digging into Denise's pant leg, and she bawled. Without explanation, but with powerful sobs and with nothing held back.
"It's okay." Tara smoothed out her hair, finding some leaves there, and she flung them off her hands with a slight groan at the unwanted cold. "We're here."
Denise grasped Rosita's hand. "Just let it out. I think you've held it in long enough."
No truer words had were spoken that night, the three of them now wide awake. two comforting a friend, and one mourning. Mourning what exactly? Her relationship? Her petty attempt to get back at Abe for his words and actions? Who could say? Perhaps it was simply mourning the last shred of who she used to be back when Eugene had a cure and Abraham was their leader.
– – –
They spent the next day driving again, stopping a few times to rest and search for supplies and gas in the cars on the road. Daryl and Maggie and Denise went in one group to try and find fresh meat, Glenn, Tara and Eugene skirted off to find water, and Rosita and Francine were left on watch while the others searched the cars.
Rosita swayed back and forth with her rifle, eyes narrow as she kept her guard up, and she heard movement behind her. She knew it was him before she even turned around, so she didn't, but she did still herself, ready for whatever he would have to say to her. If she was lucky, she might...be able to actually talk to him. She couldn't let the green monster win. Not again.
"You enjoy the show?" she started the conversation when he didn't. "I thought that was Eugene's hobby, but maybe you picked up something from him after all."
"I wasn't out there looking for a show," he responded.
"Then why stick around and stare?"
"I didn't mean to. Spencer's bare ass in the moonlight wasn't somethin' I ever wanted to see. I was on watch. I heard a noise, so I went to check it out. Maybe leave a sock behind to give us a heads-up."
"So it's our fault you found us in the woods?" She dared a glance over her shoulder. "Right."
"You should be careful."
"Like you care." She turned to face him. "We're nothing, Abraham, so spare me the advise and fake concern. I'm done with fake people in my life." She stormed off, but not before he spoke again.
"Then why are you knockin' boots with one?"
She scoffed and continued to storm off, finding Francine and Spencer at the opposite end. She cursed and ran a hand through her hair. She couldn't win today, could she? What the hell? She made one mistake and there it was, popping up again, because she just had to try and feed the animals. Too bad there were no animals to feed.
"Rosita." Spencer smiled at her.
She gave a nod. "Abe took over my post. I'm going to join Daryl's group."
"Okay." Francine nodded. "Be careful."
She tossed a yep over her shoulder and hurried after the trail Daryl and the others had left. Francine crossed her arms, and Spencer watched after where Rosita had disappeared in the treeline. She studied him and tried not to chuckle, shaking her head now.
"What?" He didn't look at her, but he did make a point to look at everything else.
"You're an idiot."
"What did I do now?"
"It wasn't just now." She smirked. "I've known you for a while now, Spencer, and you're not hard to figure out."
"Francine—"
"Look, it's your personal business, and it doesn't concern me, but try and keep it to yourself. We have a mission, and you can't go all lover boy every time you see her."
"What? I do not go all "lover boy"."
"Uh-huh."
"I don't."
"You can keep arguing with me, but I don't believe you." She dropped her arms. "You shouldn't let her take advantage of you."
"I'm not."
"Right, you're a big tough guy. You don't have feelings, and you aren't attached to her at all." She peeked at him. "Expect you're none of those things, and you are attached to her. I can see in your big love struck eyes."
"I don't—"
"Why don't you stop trying to deny what I'm saying and actually hear it?" she challenged. "You two aren't even friends. There's no connection beyond sex. You can say it doesn't matter one way or the other, but it does. You're not a heartless guy. A bit of a dumbass and somewhat cowardice, but we can all claim a little of that."
He pursed his lips and folded his arms over his chest.
"I'm just looking out for you. Talk to her about it or don't, it's not my business. I've said my piece, and I'm going back on watch."
He shuffled his feet and muttered, "Thanks."
She nodded. "No problem."
They waited around for half an hour more, Glenn and Eugene and Tara were the first group to return with full jugs and a half soaking wet Eugene. Tara was trying not to laugh, as it was cold, and he'd probably get sick, but she couldn't help it. She wouldn't tell anybody what happened, and neither would Glenn. Francine even pushed for a hint, but they wouldn't reveal anything.
Daryl, Maggie, Rosita and Denise stepped out from the treeline a few moments later with dinner. It was cold enough outside that they didn't have to worry about it spoiling before they cooked it, so dinner it was. They had to get going. It was still a long drive out, and they were all getting a little bored and restless. It wasn't as if this was a fun road trip. For some of them, it might be the end of the line. Hell, for all they knew, it was the road to hell for all of them. They didn't know what to expect, and that put a lot of people on edge, their minds overworking themselves to try and work out a plan for every situation that may or may not arise, and let's just say it left a lot of people in a poor mood.
"We'll stop here for the night. We're a few hours out from the hospital." Daryl looked over map. "We'll take a scoutin' group out there in the morning."
"Who's in the group?" Maggie leaned on the warm hood of the car.
"Glenn, Francine, me and Abe." He met her eyes. "I need you and Tara to keep...people steady. They're gettin' antsy, and y'all are the best people for this job."
She nodded. "Okay."
"I need those of you in the scoutin' group to ready to leave at dawn," Daryl told Francine, Glenn and Abe. "We've been on the road for nearly four days now. Let's do this and get home."
Abe smirked. "Short and sweet. I like it."
"But we don't know what we'll encounter," Glenn reminded him. "So, it might not be as simple as in and out."
"Which is why we're sendin' a group ahead." Daryl straightened. "It's not a guarantee that we'll be able to handle whatever issues we see, but...it's worth a shot. We might have to come back and get the others to deal with whatever we find."
"Guess we better turn in early." Maggie studied the map for a moment more before pushing off the hood. "Eugene's on guard tonight with Rosita."
"I don't think that's wise," Abraham remarked.
"Eugene will be fine," Maggie retorted. "He won't let us down with this."
"I wasn't talkin' about Eugene."
They made the group blink, and as Abraham walked off and didn't explain, they got no answer. Glenn had a feeling he knew what Abe meant, but he didn't voice it. Maggie and Daryl exchanged a glance, he shook his head, and she nodded. Daryl told the group to grab dinner and hit the sack, and they mostly did. Maggie lingered.
He folded up the map. "What?"
"You haven't talked about anythin' but the mission."
"What else is there to talk about?"
"We could all die tomorrow or the day after on this run," she replied. "Everyone knows that. That's why Enid saw us off, why she asked us to be careful, why we held her longer than usual. We don't know what's gonna happen, and we wanted what could be her last memory of us or both of us to be a good one." They had spent the night before together, made it as happy and memorable as they could, and she were glad Enid had caught them, because it hadn't been enough. It still wasn't enough.
"Where are you goin' with this?" He already knew, but there was no stopping Maggie at this point.
"Carol wasn't there to see you off." She steadied her gaze on him. "Why wasn't she?"
"I saw her in the house," he muttered. "There wasn't a point to her gettin' out of bed to see me off."
"What happened between the two of you?"
"Nothin' happened."
"Daryl, I know you both pretty well, and she would have seen you off. Cold or warm, night or day, snow or rain—she would have been there. And you love her. I know she has to love you, so I don't—"
"Why does she have to love me?" he pitifully murmured, eyes locked on the folded map.
"You've been friends for a long time now. Of course she loves you."
"I don't think she loves me beyond...friendship, and I wouldn't get my ass outta bed to see Rick off, so." It was a strained musing, and she could tell. There was a hollowness in those baby blues, and her heart ached. "I'm gonna turn in. Got a long day ahead of us come dawn."
"Da—"
He was gone before she could get the rest of his name off her tongue, and she frowned, wrapping her arms around herself, shivering. She felt something warm and scratchy rest on her shoulders and found Glenn behind her. She smiled a thank you and glanced back over to where Daryl had slumped off too. You're wrong. She does love you beyond friendship. If he could just break through that thick wall of insecurity, maybe he could see it too.
––
Eugene and Rosita watched the recon party drive off, leaving them behind, and Rosita stretched her limbs and headed towards Maggie and Glenn's car to catch some sleep before they came back. Eugene wasn't as tired as Rosita, so he decided to lend Denise a hand with rearranging the back of the truck. Tara and Spencer were now on watch, the rest of the group cleaning weapons or sharpening their knives to pass the time. Today in the mid-afternoon or tomorrow in the early morning, this run was going to begin. For some, perhaps only one or two, might not seen the fruition of their efforts, but many would. The big picture really mattered here, so it was better to...tie up loose ends now.
"Hey, Tara." Spencer jogged over to her, no longer bearing the rifle they'd given him for his watch, and she turned to him.
"Where's your rifle?"
"Morris has it." He met her eyes. "I'll take watch tomorrow. I just have a few things I need to do before they get back."
"If it involves Rosita, go back to your post."
"Why would you think it involves Rosita?"
"Because I know it does." She didn't blink. "Go back to your post. Morris has the night shift with Adam. Just...worry about what happens when they come back, all right? Let Rosita rest."
He gave a frown. "I just want to talk to her. Since when did you become her keeper?"
"Since she's my best friend, and our mission here is more important than any boner you have. I'm in charge here, just as much as Daryl. This mission, this run, is vital, and I won't have you or her pissed each other or tired or whatever. So back to your post." She huffed. "Sometimes...it's about more than just what you want, Spencer."
"I'm not being selfish here. I just—"
"But you are. Unless you can help her with whatever it is you have to say, you are being selfish, especially since she needs rest to prepare for when the recon group gets back."
He opened his mouth to argue, but nothing came out so he screwed it shut. "Fine. I'll talk to her later then."
"I'm sure you will." She sent him a forced smile and turned away from him, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. She didn't want to say he was an asshole, but she would say he certainly didn't get any of Deanna's finer qualities. Boy might as well have spawned from a log.
– – –
Daryl crouched down low at the walkers that stumbled around the parking lot of the hospital, Glenn was by his side, scanning the area, and Francine and Abe were checking out the rear of the hospital. They had an entrance, though it was currently blocked by more than a dozen walkers, but the doors were intact and shut tightly, it appeared. There were either no walkers inside whatsoever, or they were trapped inside. They would have to enter to find out, but if they could get those doors closed, they would have time to locate meds and the equipment while Glenn's team diverted the walkers' attention.
Meanwhile Abe saw a chance to test the rear door, Francine watched his back, her machete ready to take out any threats, and Abraham found the door locked. It could have been opened by a pass key, but without power, that wasn't an option. They could knock the glass out, but that would draw the attention of the dead and cause them to break off from Glenn's distraction. It would be like what happened at Alexandria, only they couldn't be sure there weren't walkers inside.
Abe told Francine to be ready as he knocked the back of his hand against the door loud enough to draw the attention of any nearby walkers inside, and Francine took out the ones that heard it around them. He waited a moment and saw moment through the thick, dirty glass. He stepped back when a walker slammed into the glass, snarling at him, and he pulled out his knife to lend Francine a hand. The sooner they were dealt with the sooner they could report back to Daryl and Glenn.
"How many more do you think are inside?" She glanced at him on their way back to regroup.
"Who can say." He sighed. "We're pretty much gonna be flyin' blind."
"Well, we knew this might be a one-way trip." She gripped the handle to her machete. "It'll be worth it. We'll make it worth it."
He smirked at the fiery determination in her voice.
"Don't smirk at me." She flushed slightly, but not losing her composure.
"I didn't realize you cared so much."
"Of course I do. Alexandria is my home, and...I want to it to thrive long after I'm gone. I want to make a future for Judith and for Tobin's baby. That's why I'm here." She averted her eyes. "I won't let what happened last time happen again."
"You can't control everythin'," he reminded her.
"I can try."
"And you'll get yourself killed." He held his arm out to stop her, and she turned towards him. "We'll do what we came here to do, no matter who we lose, no matter how hard we have to fight. We'll get the job done, but sometimes...there just isn't anythin' you can do. Sometimes you just gotta let people go."
"Would you let Sasha go?" She arched a brow. "Or Rosita?"
"This isn't about me."
"This is about letting go," she corrected. "That involves everybody."
He shook his head. "Rosita can take care of herself. She doesn't need me or anybody looking after her, and besides she has Tara to watch her back and fill in any blind spots."
"Right." She began walking once more. "You don't care what happens to her at all."
They caught up to Daryl and Glenn, Francine filled them in on the walkers inside, and Abraham brushed off their previous conversation. He couldn't argue with her, because Rosita wasn't meaningless to him. She meant as much to him as Eugene did, but things had changed. They both had changed. There was no way around it, and honestly it was for the best. They never really worked together anyway. Not that her and Spencer worked any better, but she was still young. She still had a lot of mistakes to make. When she finally understood the lesson, maybe...they could talk.
"I know how to draw them," Glenn informed the group, "but I need more daylight and some time to get it together."
"From the look of it, there's no people around, so we can just come back tomorrow." Francine wrapped her arms around her stomach as she crouched down beside them. "We'll divide into our groups and like Daryl said, we'll get the job done. We'll need Glenn's group to move first."
"We better head back while we still have some light," Abe reminded them. "The headlights on this car have been knocked out."
"Yeah, let's go." Glenn rose and started to follow Abe and Francine, but he noticed Daryl wasn't trailing behind them. He found the man still on the ground, watching the walkers, and he frowned. "Daryl? What's wrong?"
He heaved a sigh and pushed himself up. "I got...kind of a bad feelin' about this."
"What do you mean?"
"Just... I dunno. It ain't about this run, just...knots in my gut." He pursed his lips. "Not sure what it is."
Glenn crossed his arms. "We'll be back before her appointment. It's only been a few days."
"I didn't—I wasn't—"
"You have the last sonogram in your vest pocket. You've been holding your hand over it for most of the trip." He grinned at him. "Don't worry. The next one will be great. The godfather will be there."
"You're comin' with us?" He nodded. "Not that I mind, but why?"
"Just...to remember." His grin shrank but still was there. "I don't know when Maggie wants to try again, but...being with Enid these last couple of weeks has been great. I want more of that. I want...a baby, and I want Enid to have siblings to teach and look after and be annoyed by. I want her to have the family I had growing up, but in our own way, you know?"
He nodded now. "Yeah."
"So, yeah, I want to see Carol's baby...and talk to Harlan on how we can improve our chances of keeping this baby and Maggie safe. I can't see her go through that lose again, and I don't think I can survive it either, but I won't put our lives on pause because of fear."
Daryl smiled. "Good, 'cause my kid's gonna need a playmate. Judith's too deep in the only child shit. She ain't big on sharin'."
He chuckled. "Okay, but if we end up playing princesses with our kids, I'm gonna find glitter and stickers just so they could torture you with them."
"That ain't even fair."
"But it's gonna be hilarious."
They joined Abe and Francine in the car, Daryl kept his gaze out the window, and Glenn was thinking over his plan to draw the walkers away from the hospital. The car was silent, thankfully not jammed by a shit CD like the truck—which Daryl would see Rick paid for—and it felt like the calm before the storm. Tomorrow it would all go down. Good or bad, bloody or not, they would do what they had been planning and preparing for and turn home to their family. Some of the group might find home to be a little different, but certainly filled with friendly faces. Daryl wasn't sure if he believed in an afterlife or Heaven, but he believed that they would see those they lost again somewhere, somehow. It might be a silly thought, but he didn't care. It was comforting, as was the hand over his heart, and he didn't mean the beating organ in his chest.
