A/N: To say this four month gap is understandable from my viewpoint is an understatement. I've gotten all the bad luck very, lost my house and my dog, and things are pretty shit, but I'm coming back to my writing, and here is a long overdue chapter. I hope you've all had a great year so far, and if not, same. Here's to better luck and more chapters.


Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.

––

Enid adjusted the saddle, stroking the long neck of the horse, who had thankfully been spared any abuse. She checked the pouches attached to the saddle to see what supplies they would be taking with them and tossed in a few more canned fruits. She turned to find Carl standing in the doorway to the barn, peeking in on her with Judith on his hip.

"Hey." She pulled out a smile but didn't move closer to him.

"Hey."

"Hi," Judith uttered from her brother's shoulder.

Enid's smile softened, and she crossed her arms. "Hello, Judy."

Carl adjusted her and met Enid's eyes. "You're leaving soon. Denise told me."

"Not for good, just for a bit. We're looking for supplies. Maggie and Rick decided a monthly trip would be helpful. We may find goods we didn't know we need, and we might be able to find things we'll need in the future. We could always use more seeds and medicine."

"And your classes?"

"Are almost over. Denise and I are going to finish our muscle lesson when Glenn and I return. Neva's my next teacher."

"That's great."

"It is. I'm excited." She lowered her arms and stepped towards him. "When Glenn and I return, before Denise and I leave, I'd like to talk to you."

"I don't want to talk about what happened."

"Neither do I. I've already spoken to Maggie and Glenn and Denise about it. I really don't want to talk about it anymore. I just wanted to talk to you, because I haven't in weeks. Pentaghast has been dead and burned, but I haven't gotten around to speaking with you. I want to change that. We...had something, and I'd like to keep it."

He smiled softly. "Me too."

She closed the space between them, searching his eye before placing a gentle kiss to his lips. She cupped his cheeks as she did so and stepped back once their lips parted. "I'll see you when I get back."

"I look forward to it."

She mounted the horse and guided it out of the barn to pick up Glenn from the house. She didn't look back at Carl, but she did smile to herself, biting her bottom lip to try and contain it. Good things seldom died, Maggie told her last night, and perhaps it was true.

Glenn was saying goodbye to Maggie, slightly concerned about her well being lately. She hadn't been feeling too great, and after everything that happened, he worried it might be an infection from her wound not being treated for so long. Or she might have an illness. He didn't like the feeling settling in his stomach.

"I'm fine." She hugged her arms. "Or I will be. I'm gonna stay inside and rest."

He held her hips. "Good, because I'm sending Carol to keep an eye on you."

"I thought she and Daryl were...busy." She moistened her lips. "He asked me to cover his wall shifts and asked Abe to cover his construction shifts, 'cause he and Carol had baby things to do."

"He's definitely not with Carol. She's coming to check in on you. She's going to make some soup."

"If I am sick, I don't want her around me. I don't want to risk getting her sick."

"She has a strong immune system, and the soup is just so you have something hot to eat." He smiled. "And she wants company. I thought you'd like some, too."

"I would, actually. I could talk to her about some things."

"What things? Things you can't tell me?"

"No, things that involve her and her baby. Like his name. Or how this godparent things works." While they were both healthy and alive and there to raise the baby always. She just wondered if they got first dibs on babysitting if Carol and Daryl went on a run or got sick or anything.

He nodded and spotted Enid. "We'll be careful and be back as soon as we can."

"Take your time. I'll be okay. I've got Luck and Carol to keep me company, and I'm meeting with Michonne to discuss some expansion plans. I'll hardly know you're gone."

"I feel so loved." Enid smirked at Maggie.

"If you ever doubt that I love you, you've lost your mind." She walked over to her and grasped her hand. "Be careful, okay? And avoid any place that looks suspicious or easy. They tend to not be, and the suspicious places tend to be...a nightmare."

"We'll be careful." Enid squeezed her hand. "We won't take what's easy. Unless it's super easy then it's just being stupid."

"Or if it's easy and the catch is visible." Glenn mounted the horse behind Enid. "We know what to look for, and we'll all be back."

"Good." She set a hand on the horse's neck and gently patted there. "Be safe. I'll see you soon."

"Bye." Enid smiled down at her.

She released her hands from both the horse's neck and Enid's hand and stepped back. She watched them take their leave and set a hand on stomach, trying to still the nerves still. They would be fine. She would be fine. She wasn't sick. She...hoped she wasn't sick, because she'd seen Daryl lurking around Denise's, and she doubted it had to do with the baby. She'd let them have their time and maybe drop in for a checkup. She had wandered in the cold quite a bit last week, so it was better to be safe than sorry. Or to at least recover before Glenn got back and could say he was right.

––

Neva finished up her appointment with Carol, who had dropped by unexpectedly, and she wondered what had Carol so worried. Perhaps the dreams were getting to her. Neva had strange dreams when she was pregnant. She had a litter of puppies. Evil puppies. It was funny considering how sweet her girl was...

"Have you noticed anything off?" Neva removed her gloves. "Anything that might make you anxious?"

"No. Everything's normal. I just... I'm sorry. I just wanted to see him." She turned to face Neva. "I didn't have any concerns."

"Oh, well that's good." She smiled. "And that's fine. Anytime you want to see him, let me know."

Carol glanced at the closed door to Denise's office, and Neva noticed.

"Do you want to talk to her?"

"It can wait." She stepped back. "I'm gonna spend some time with Maggie. Maybe I'll drop by after."

She nodded. "Be careful. It's slippery out there."

"I will be. Thanks." She left through the back door.

Neva was about to return to her room when someone else entered the clinic. Someone and sweet baby Ellie.

"Hey." Eric beamed at her, holding a bundled Ellie close. "I heard you wanted to talk to me. Aaron's on the wall, otherwise he'd be here."

"It's okay. Please, sit with me." She headed towards the living room and sat on the armchair, watching Eric sit on the couch and adjust Ellie on his lap. She was used to being passed around from woman to woman, but she was never too fond of men. She supposed Eric just had a gentle enough aura that it didn't bother her. The men in their group were rough with her, cruel even if they got a hold of her. Most wanted to kill her to get back at Pentaghast. Others wanted to rattle her up, make her cry so they could leave her for walkers. As anyone could assume, those assholes all met a slow death.

"How's she been?"

"Good. She's been so good." He smiled widely at her. "She's really well behaved. She hardly cries. She doesn't have many fits."

"She was always calm." Unlike her mother. A trait from her father, Neva assumed. She hoped she got many more from him. "How's she been eating?"

"Like a starved man." He laughed. "She loves yams, and she loves when Aaron feeds her. She'll go up to him whenever she's hungry." He had gotten a few pictures of Aaron holding her and feeding her after a long shift. Sometimes he'd find Aaron passed out on the couch with her on his stomach, the burping towel and bottle on the floor. It was sweet.

"That's good." She laced her fingers together. "You've had her for a couple weeks now while I've...mourned." Tried to mourn, anyway. "It means a lot to me. I'm thankful."

"Does that mean you're ready for her?" He swallowed with some difficulty. He wasn't quite ready for their time to end. He'd gotten used to spending his days with her.

"You keep calling Ellie "her". All the times you talk about Ellie, it's always a pronoun, never her name." She asked, "Why don't you use her name?"

"It just doesn't seem to fit her." He would say it to get her attention, but it never felt like the correct name when it left his lips. It was a sour taste. It wasn't her.

"What does?" Neva arched a brow at the man.

"Eli." He felt her look up at him and smiled down at her. "She seems to like it, too. It seems to fit her better. It's...not an old name, but it's not new, either. It's...just right for her."

"Eli." She chuckled. "It's a lovely name. I had a good friend in college named Eli. He was a free spirit, very compassionate. He would give you the clothes off his very back if you asked. You could be lying to him, but he'd give them up all the same with a huge smile."

"He sounds wonderful."

"He was." She cleared her throat and stepped closer to him. "You and Aaron are taking excellent care of her, aren't you?"

"Yes, we adore her. She's a perfect guest." He felt her little fingers curl around his hand. "She's one of the most well mannered person I've met since I came here."

"She's very like her father," Neva agreed.

"I suppose." He turned his hand so that his palm was facing hers. She wanted to separate his fingers to chew on them, but he hadn't washed his hands since he finished his duty in the garden. He didn't want her to be munching on any dirt under his nails. He doubted that'd taste good.

"About me taking her," Neva changed the subject and met his eyes. "You mentioned it."

"I figured that's why you wanted to see me. You're ready to take her back."

She noted how he lost that twinkle in his eyes. "I'm ready, yes."

"I have most of her things at the house. I can go and get them." He rose off the couch and kissed her forehead, muttering a gentle goodbye. "Here. I'll just be a few minutes." He wanted to leave before he got upset.

Neva stood up and grasped the toddler in her arms, smiling a greeting at her. "Hello, Eli. It's lovely to meet you." She shook her little hand, and Eli giggled at her. "Ah, there's a toothy grin. I haven't seen that in months."

Eric couldn't help but smile at the child's little grin.

Neva hummed. "It's not for me, you know." She rubbed Eli's chunky little leg through her pants and met Eric's eyes. "It's for you."

"I bet she's just happy to see you," he rolled his eyes to keep his emotions in check.

"Maybe." She walked around the coffee table. "Or maybe it's a farewell to me. Maybe...it's a farewell to her life with me and a happy hello to her new life with you."

Eric met her eyes and stammered.

"She needs solid parents. I can't offer her anything like I gave my daughter. I'm an old woman. A grandmother. I don't have the energy to keep up with a growing girl." She handed Eli back to him. "She's taken to you. I can see she has, and I won't stand in the way of her being happy. She deserves...a chance at normal, and I'm...coping to this new life without my Jo. She needs a whole heart and boundless love to guide her. I can see you and Aaron provide that easily, so if you want her to be in your family...she's yours."

"Are you sure?" Was all he could think to ask.

"I'm sure. I won't come for her when she's older, because she's out of her terrible twos and threes." She moistened her lips. "It's time for me to move on with my life, and I don't think I can do that with such a huge piece of my daughter's heart so close to me. I...I'd just see her and all of my doubts and self-loathing would return. I can't let her grow up around that. It's my burden, and she'll have her own some day. I'd rather that day come much, much later."

"I don't know what to say."

"Don't say, just...raise her. Raise her to be a good woman in a storm, to be relentlessly kind and fiercely gentle. To be...everything that this world will teach her is weakness, but show her the strength and intelligence to know...what's best. Don't teach her the easy way. Teach her a survivor's way, but with heart."

"That's a lot to ask," Erick commented.

"I wouldn't ask if you weren't up for the task." She smiled softly. "You have heart, and Aaron has skill. I'm sure you'll raise her this way without trying."

"Thank you, Neveah."

"No, thank you." She stroked Eli's soft, baby-fine hairs. "You've given my daughter's heart a home. I cannot think of anything...to say or do to show my gratitude." She smiled. "Take care of her."

"I will. We will." He returned her smile. "Thank you."

She inhaled shakily and nodded. "And if you ever need a babysitter—"

"You'll be the first to know," he vowed.

She nodded. "Go. Go and tell Aaron." She shooed him out of the clinic and collapsed into the desk chair, exhaling deeply and closing her eyes. The last part of her daughter was in that girl, and she would pray it lived on forever. And any memory of that bitch who carried her burned away, forever forgotten.

Perhaps it would be best if she were here to witness that—the erasing of Pentaghast and how amazing nurture really was. Yeah, it would be best to be here. There was no other place for her to go, after all. She had a grandchild here, and it was the last place her daughter was alive. Terrible as it was, it was still the last place Jo slept and woke and walked. Her memory...was still alive here, and Neva would soak it in until her last breath.

– – –

Daryl sat on the couch in Denise's office, twisting his thumb and index finger on one hand around his ring finger on the other hand, feet planted firmly on the floor. His back was slouched against the couch, eyes downward on the carpet, and he was trying to put his thoughts into words. She knew a lot now. More than anybody, even Carol, knew, and being so honest didn't feel good. He didn't feel liberated simply talking to her. He felt...heavy. His heart pounded, and his blood seemed to run cold whenever she nodded him along. It felt wrong. He felt like he was betraying something. Someone. But it didn't matter how he felt, because at the end of their sessions, he felt...a weight come off his shoulders. He didn't feel judged. He didn't feel stupid or angry. Some emotions did carry over their time, but...he managed them. He was able to...finally manage them.

"I...feel like it was my fault," he mumbled, not wanting her to hear this confession. "I feel like I did somethin' somewhere in my life that...earned me his abuse, you know?"

"Why do you feel that way?"

"I dunno." He lifted his head, his vision blurry, and thankfully his bangs had grown out some, so he didn't have to worry about her seeing his eyes right now. "I just feel that way."

"Okay." Denise nodded. "What else happens when you get in that head space of "I earned this"?"

He shuffled his feet and blew out a sigh, continuing on with the session. He had a lot to share, and he knew Denise squirmed in her chair, but she didn't stop him. She encouraged him when he wasn't sure if he should speak, and she assured him he was all right when he couldn't. It wasn't like he thought it was going to be, and it strengthened their relationship. He was glad to have taken this step—for his son, for himself. He didn't want to move forward with this new life still dragging around chains of the past. It wasn't as simple as that, but it was getting easier. Breathing, remembering, talking—it was getting easier.

They parted ways at the door, and Daryl found her waiting for him. He was surprised to see her there, but it was a welcome one. He...felt terrible about that night in the kitchen, still, and Denise had tried to move him beyond that guilt, but it didn't work. He was holding onto it, and only he could let go of it. He just didn't know when that would be.

"Howdy." Carol grinned at him, and he chuckled, ducking his head as he drew near.

"Hi." He lifted his head once he was before her, and he smiled at her. "What're you doin' here? I thought you and Mag had plans."

"We do. I was hoping you'd walk me." She reached out and ran her fingers down his arm to grasp his wrist. "Do you have time?"

He shook her hand off his wrist, grasping it once it loosened and interlocking their fingers. "Yeah, I got time." He kissed her temple and guided her towards Maggie and Glenn's place.

"What are your plans?" Carol peeked at him.

"I dunno, probably gonna go home and change the nursery sheets."

"Again?"

"They get dusty."

"Right." She inhaled and hummed. "Anything else?"

"Not till you get back." He leg go of her hand and wrapped his arm around her waist. "I'm gonna made dinner then, draw a bath."

"What's the occasion?"

"I need a bath," he mused. "Smell like construction and a stuffy office."

She laughed. "I'm being serious."

"So am I." He smirked.

"Well, I guess it saves me getting the hose." She fell quiet after that, and Daryl didn't like it.

"You all right?"

"Yeah, just... It's getting close, and I don't know what I'm feeling. Excited? Not really. Scared? A little. Mostly...I'm anxious. I don't...know."

"Don't let all that shit Pentaghast said influence you," Daryl stated. "It'll be fine. We'll be fine."

"It's not about being fine," she muttered.

He stopped walking and faced her. "Is there somethin' you wanna tell me?" He met her eyes. "'Cause I'm right here. I don't...wanna walk in circles. I think we did that enough at the start of this."

I just have a bad feeling about this was what she wanted to say, but she didn't. She couldn't. She drew in a breath. "I don't know. I guess I'm just not sleeping a whole lot lately. It's starting to show. I'm sorry."

"Don't be worry. It's all right." He reached up and lifted her chin. "You'll be great, like always."

She chuckled. "You're blind then."

"Ain't love blind or some shit like that?"

She smiled and kissed him. "C'mon, I should get to Maggie's. She's expecting me."

He caught her waist. "She's been expectin' you," he reminded her. "I doubt a couple more minutes is gonna do any harm."

"Not...here." She glanced around at the people walking to and fro, and she felt embarrassed.

He bumped his forehead on hers and exhaled. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong." She had her eyes closed. "I'm just...feeling more reserved about...open affection."

"Okay." He stepped back and caught her hand. "Let's get to Maggie's then."

She could tell he was somewhat hurt by that, but it was true. She didn't like all the eyes on them. She had to deal with them enough when they were living with Rick and Michonne, and she didn't want them to intrude. It felt like they were when they watched them or glanced at them. After all this time either being blissfully unaware or blind to her feelings toward him, she wanted...this relationship to just be them. It had been them and Tobin then them and Rick, but now it could just be them. She wanted to bask in that. Alone. At home.

They walked into Maggie's house a few moments later, Daryl parted by the door, and Carol tried to get him to stay a bit, but he had to do something all of a sudden. She didn't know what, but she didn't bother keeping him there. He clearly wanted to be elsewhere.

"I'll walk you home," he offered and kissed her.

"That's okay. I'll be fine." She set a hand on his chest. "But thanks. You can just stay and soak in your bubble bath. I might eat dinner here, too. I told Glenn I'd make her soup."

"Never said I was givin' you a choice—about walking you home, anyway." They could do dinner any night.

"Fine." She smirked at him. "I'll see you later."

"Have fun." He set a hand on her belly, stroking lightly with his thumb. "I'll drop by in a few hours. If you're not ready, I'll just hang around Aaron's."

"With Eli," she added.

"Didn't say that."

"Eli is a part of his life now. His and Eric's. They're a family, so you'll be spending time with the three of them." A tender smile appeared on her lips. "You're really...taken with her."

"They're my friends."

"Daryl, it's okay to tell me you're going over to see a toddler. I promise I won't get jealous," she jested. "I'm glad that you're bonding with Judy's new best friend and the newest Raleigh. Proves Judy wasn't a fluke."

"You're an ass."

She giggled. "I love you, Daryl."

He smiled somewhat. "I love you, too."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him, and since they were away from eyes and away from Denise's clinic, she didn't feel like shying away. She didn't like to do too much directly after his meetings with Denise in case anything lingered. She knew a lot lingered for her, so she wanted to be careful. She also didn't want to catch Tara sending her thumb's up or Glenn giving an OK sign with his hands as they walked by. It was really annoying that they found it so hilarious. She didn't tell Daryl about it, especially not Abraham's. He'd probably die. She even blushed. They were far too invested in the lives of other people—namely Carol and Daryl. At least Michonne kept Rick straight.

Daryl's hand found its way into her soft hairs, first cradling the top of her head then twisting into the silky curls that formed at the tips. The other hand rested firmly on the small of her back adding no pressure since the space between them was already occupied. He loved the taste of her mouth. There was always a faint taste of mint from when she brushed her teeth, a sweetness he didn't know where it came from, and it made him want more. He had spent so many nights with her like this, but they never went any further. He didn't want to push, and honestly...being just with her in this way felt like enough.

"Mmm," Carol broke away from him, breathless. "Maggie."

"What?" he was confused. Where did Maggie come from all of a sudden?

"This is her house." She chuckled at his blank expression. "We...have to stop. You have...things, and I really should check on her. I promised Glenn I would."

"Yeah...right." He cleared his throat. "Yeah, I got...erm, stuff, so yeah. I'll...be back by later."

"Have fun with Eli."

"Have fun with the pregnant lady."

"I always do." She smirked suggestively at him, and he narrowed his eyes. She kissed him lightly once for a goodbye and headed up to find Maggie.

Okay, maybe it wasn't enough, he thought to himself as he backed out of the house.

––

In her office Maggie scribbled out more detailed notes onto Deanna's plans, listing the materials they would need to expand, and she could feel the ideas flowing through her and out of her pen. She had a count of their current supplies, and when Glenn and Enid came back, they would have more. Or at least a way to obtain more. It would help further Alexandria. It would help further the living in this world full of decay.

"How's it coming?" Carol sat beside her at the table.

"Pretty well." She set her pen down. "I'm gonna turn over this section to Abe tomorrow." She gestured to what she was talking about. "Maybe give Eric this for crops."

"Wow, that's extensive."

"I have a lot of time on my hands now that I'm not being held captive." She smiled though. "And I want...to channel all my anger and annoyance at Pentaghast for trying to burn this place and us to the ground by...raising it up to...hope. I want sustainability for us. I want a future. I want all of the people who live here to thrive long after we're all gone. I want this place to be...the start of regaining what we lost when the world went to shit."

Carol returned her smile. "Sounds...like a challenge, but you have the passion and time for it."

"It's the future," Maggie added. "It's...everythin'."

Carol sat beside her. "It is, isn't it?"

She crossed her legs. "Your baby is the future. Judy. Eli. Carl. Enid. We're building a world for them. We won't get to see the full fruits of our efforts, but your son and his son and his son's son will. Judith's, her daughter and her daughter's daughter will. I've put these plans off long enough, and I'm glad everything happened the way it did with me." She paused and her knuckles when white as her fingers closed around the pen she was holding. "It's been difficult, and I won't forget any of it, but...it's given me a new perspective. I wish it had come at an easier price, but I've had enough of wishes."

"I think we all have."

She exhaled and released the pen. "I'm ready for the future. Come what may, I will keep these walls standin'. It won't be another farm or prison. It'll be Alexandria. It won't be looked back on in flames. It won't be filled with walkers. It'll be filled with people and growth and children and laughter. We'll...heh, we'll have Sunday dinners on the lawn and bonfires in the summer. We'll have birthdays and marriages and funerals. We'll live life, and we won't be bogged down by walkers and enemies. We'll stand united with our allies, like the Hilltop. We'll forge and strike deals. We'll be fair. We won't be used ever again."

Carol's smile widened. "That's admirable, Maggie."

"It's what I want, what Daddy would have wanted, Deanna and Reg, too." She met her eyes. "But more importantly it's what we deserve. A home. Happiness. Normalcy. I'm going to bring those things to our people, and if I can't then whoever takes my place will."

"Have anybody in mind?" Carol inquired.

She chuckled. "Not really. I mean, who knows what these babies will grow up into? Leaders or hunters. All warriors, no doubt about that, but the rest? Who can say?"

"Any child of yours and Glenn will be a natural leader."

"What makes you say that?"

"Because it's the truth. No world like this could hope to thrive without people like you. And Glenn and Carl and Michonne. You're all warriors like you said, but...your hearts are immeasurable. You've struggled through so much, lost so much, and here you are, ready to guide the world towards hope. It makes me happy that you and he are godparents to my son. He'll be guided down the right path from all angles."

She smiled and reached for her hand. "Thank you, Carol."

"No, thank you." She squeezed her hand. "And don't give up."

"I won't. No matter how many times I get knocked down, I'll always get right back up." She blinked back tears, her lips parting as her tongue rested underneath a top tooth, and she nodded. "I have so many people I've lost there to help me get back on my feet, so I know I won't stay down for long. I can't."

Carol blinked back tears of her own. "I'll go make some tea."

"I'd love some."

She patted her hand headed towards the kitchen, Maggie set her fingertips over the worn necklace wrapped around her wrist, and she closed her eyes.

Take my hand, I'm standing right here. You gotta hold on...

A smile crossed her lips, her hand moved down to her stomach, an unanswered hope possibility growing there, and she stroked her thumb across the smooth material of her blouse. She hadn't confirmed it. She didn't want to know just yet, but soon. Once Glenn was back, once the weather had calmed, they'd find out together. Them and Enid, as a family. That was the only way to move forward now—together. For her family and for her people.

"Keep singin', Bethy," Maggie whispered. "For my baby with you, and the one with us."

––

"How's she doing?" Michonne leaned the doorway to Judith's bedroom, finding Carl sitting there against the wall, knees upraised with their arms resting across them. He held one of Judith's cloth dolls in his fingers, and he was staring off into space. "I believe that's one called Dool."

He exhaled. "She tore a hole in it," he explained. "I was patching it up since Carol isn't here to do that anymore. I need to learn how anyway. She can't take care of my holes forever. She shouldn't have to."

"She doesn't mind to."

"She'll have a baby to take care of," he mumbled. "I couldn't ask her."

Michonne pushed off the frame and sauntered inside. "She looks pretty patched up to me."

"She is." He lowered one leg and let his arms fall to his lap, still holding the doll. "I...had a friend who had a cloth doll. It was a gift from another friend. A parting gift."

She nodded. "That so?"

"She loved it. She held it all the time." He smiled fondly. "She didn't play with it, using silly voices or anything, just cradled it to her chest. I'm not so sure she believed in all that."

"All what?" Michonne prodded.

"Playing. Making up a whole world for your toys and all that. I... I never saw her do that. She played with us, but she never...played with the doll. I used to play with action figures, go out on secret missions and do all kinds of adult and violent stuff." He chuckled in memory. "But Sophia never once...played like I did. I mean, her reality sucked. I don't understand...why she wouldn't build an escape."

"Maybe she couldn't give anyone, even a doll, a false reality."

"Maybe. It's not like I can ask her." He set the doll down beside her. "I wish I could. But if I wished that, I'd wish that I could go back and save...so many people." His eye lifted until it locked in hers. "I dreamed that I saved her. I...had this whole scene worked out in my head. I'd be the one to find her...hiding somewhere, like a cave or up a tree, and I'd bring her home. We'd...walk out of the woods, holding hands, and I'd bring her to Carol. She would have some cuts and bruises, but she'd be okay. Hershel would look her over, and we'd be playing and doing school work like before.

"But like before never came. She stumbled out of a barn, and...everything changed. I knew the world was bad, walkers were dangerous, but seeing her...made it all sink in. After all I'd seen, all I'd been through up until that point, it was her that cemented the picture." He dropped his other leg and loosely laced his fingers together between his thighs. "Then Dale...and then my mom. Every time I lose someone, the picture changes. I was scared when I lost Sophia. I was numb and shaken when we lost Dale. And when it came...to Mom...it was different."

"How do you mean?"

"The picture didn't change, I...did. For better or worse, I changed. I won't ever be able to get back to who I was that day in the quarry when my mom was cutting my hair and Shane was joking about eating frog legs. And that's not a bad thing. Of all the things I lost, that wasn't a bad one, but..." He huffed, unable to find the words.

"It was your choice," Michonne offered, "and it was taken away."

He nodded. "It's just hair, and yeah, it'll grow back, but...Mom was the last person to cut my hair. It sucked." He laughed softly. "It hurt, and I squirmed, but...I sat through it. And...it didn't seem right to cut my own hair or let Dad do it. Mom...was the only one who cut my hair, or decided to get my hair cut before all of this. I...don't know that I would have cut it one day. Maybe I'd have to tie it back, but it would have been my choice to let someone else do for me what my mom last did. I lost so much of her. I lost the sound of her laughter, the image of her family, the way her eyes lit up when she talked to Carol. I lost the only picture left of her...and now the hair."

"You're getting some of them back," Michonne reminded him. "It's not quite...how you'd want it, but it's there. In Judith's smile. In her eyes when she looks at you. I didn't know Lori, so maybe I'm talking out of my ass, but...Rick's told me about her, and I did see that picture. She's looking more and more like Lori each day, and while it'll never heal that hole, it can help it. Lori lives on through Judith and through you. She survived the farm and the prison and Terminus and all of it through you. You carry her around with you every single day, Carl. She's in your smile. She's in your glares. She's...in that pale skin of yours."

He smiled weakly. "My glares?"

"You didn't get that look from Rick. Some of them, but not that one." She smirked. "You'll never be held by her again, but you hold her with you every day. Her memory...will always be in your head and in your heart, and it'll never be enough, but you didn't lose all of her that day."

He nodded slowly, his eye filling with tears.

"It's hard to move on from a loss like that. It's...impossible even, but moving on doesn't mean letting her go. Lori...will always have a hold of you, Carl, and of Judith." She was about to continue when the next thing she knew she was jolted from the force of his hug. She blinked, not even seeing him move, and she felt his head on her chest. She relaxed and felt him shaking. She hugged him back tightly. "Knowing how much I love you, Carl, I know how much she loved you. And a mother's love is a bond that can't be broken."

He dug his fingers into her back, and Michonne kissed his temple, shushing not him but the demons that were preying on him. They wouldn't get her boy. She wouldn't let them, and she knew he wouldn't succumb to them, but right now after all that had happened, he needed a little aid. She was happy to lend her blade.

Rick stood in the hallway with Judith, having overheard the conversation, and he held Judith closer as she gnawed on her fist. He kissed her temple and headed back to the living room. This moment was for Carl and Michonne, and he would find a moment for him and Carl later. He had some stories for him about his mom. How she was during her pregnancy, how excited she was to have him, all of it. They were fading memories after all these years, and Carl needed them, so he'd tell him now. It wouldn't fill the void, but it would certainly bring a smile to the face of someone who really needed it.

"Judy, Judy." He lifted her up and sat on the couch, placing her on his knees facing her. Those big eyes met his, and she smiled around her fist. He couldn't help but smile back. "Wanna hear a story about your mama? Hmm?"

"Yah," was her reply.

"Well, I got a few." He set his hands on her hips and bounced his knees. "I think you'll like this one. It involves her best friend Carol..."

– – –

"No name yet?" Aaron worked on finishing his now cold dinner as he'd spent the majority of the evening trying to get Eli to eat her veggies. She was no fan of peas. Or carrots. Or corn. He was wearing most of it. She could throw like a son of a bitch. She even hit Abe square in the face with the bowl. It sent both her and Sasha doubled over in laughter. Abe was less thrilled, but he was a good sport about it. They did leave after dessert though, but who could blame them? He had corn lost in both his beard and his shirt.

"I've been thinkin' about names." Daryl shared his pudding with Eli, who had fussed until she got the lap seat. Apparently Eric's bony lap and Aaron's pea stained one wasn't favorable. Daryl had put on some weight since he and Carol moved in together, because they had to cook a bit more food for her to eat. It just happened to be really good, and he wanted an extra plate. Or two. Sometimes two and a half, but only if she made it into a pie. God, they were so fucking good. He could die in one of those and just be content as fuck.

"But you haven't settled on one?" Eric was clearing the table.

"Nah. I mean, I haven't talked it over with Carol since the last few I came up with, but..." He shrugged.

"But?" Aaron pushed, swallowing. "That's a hesitant but."

He stammered and faltered. "It's nothin'." He won the spoon and ate some of the pudding, Eli fussed at him. "You gotta learn to share, kid." She pouted, so he scooped some out and shared it with her. She smiled and leaned back against him like he was an armchair.

"What's nothing?" Eric set a hand on the back of Aaron's chair on his second trip back in, his other hand on his hip. "It's stupid, like...Jayvon or something?"

Daryl frowned like he'd eaten rotten meat. "The hell kind of name is Jayvon?"

"A prick I went to school with. Kinda hope he got eaten alive."

"Eric," Aaron exclaimed.

"What? He was a jackass." He collected the empty plate Aaron had. "It'd be karma."

He rolled his eyes. "That's just asking karma to come and do that to you."

"What's the name?" Eric instead called from the kitchen.

"It's...kinda stupid." He held onto Eli as she went all jelly-like and tried to slide off his lap. There must be something in the kitchen she wanted. He'd gotten to know her the last few times he'd been over, and she did this when someone had food she wanted or if Aaron or Eric were about to leave. She apparently thought it would prevent them from leaving, because clearly Jello Eli was unmovable. He hated to burst her bubble, but she was going to smack her head on the dinner table if she kept wriggling, so he sat her upright. She blinked and looked very confused at Aaron, who smiled and pressed his hand against his lips to keep from laughing. A few snorts came through, though.

"Just tell us." Aaron cleared his throat. "We won't laugh at it or think it's stupid."

"Or we'll just do it later, when you're not sitting at our kitchen table." Eric smirked playfully at him.

Daryl pursed his lips and told them the name he'd come up with. They were both surprised, but they loved it. Daryl didn't know how he felt about explaining how he came up with the name, and he wasn't going to tell them, because they would laugh. It was embarrassing, and he'd rather just tell Carol. If he told anybody. He could just take it to the grave with him.

And then he didn't have to answer, because Eli through a fit. Eric's eyes shut, his lips drew a high thin line at her shrill cries, and Aaron hopped up and collected her off Daryl's lap. She was up past her bedtime due to company, so she was grouchy. Well, that was putting it lightly. The girl was screaming murder. Bloody murder. She also hadn't gotten her daily nap in, and it was just...a really bad fit. They were rare, but when they happened, watch your head.

"She wouldn't go down after I saw Neva," Eric explained, "so I went on a walk with her and Sasha, and...I just got busy with dinner after that. She's not a happy camper today anyway. She's been upset. I don't know why. I think...she understands what happened with Neva."

"Kids are perceptive." Eric nodded. "She'll calm down once she's in her bed, right?"

"Oh, yeah. Aaron sings her some lullabies, and she's out like a light." He picked up the empty bowl of pudding. "I'm gonna wash these dishes, but you're welcome to stay. We're going to have a glass of wine to celebrate our...gift, and you're welcome to join us."

"Nah, I gotta meet Carol, but thanks."

"Anytime. Bring her by sometime too. I hardly see her."

"I'll try." He stood up and glanced down the hall where her bedroom now was, and curiosity got the best of him as her wails quieted. He edged down the hall to find her dozing off in Aaron's arms to the sound of his voice, gripping the hole between buttons on his shirt tightly.

"...for one so small, you seem so strong. My arms will hold you, keep you safe and warm," he sang. "I will be here, don't you cry."

Daryl's eyes narrowed at the familiarity of that song. He knew it was from a kid's movie. He'd heard it when Enid babysat Judy a few times, but...there was another voice in his head. A younger voice, a girl. It wasn't Enid, and it was...almost like this. This same picture, only Eli was holding onto her index finger, and the girl was walking by a hallway... It was like a dream. A dream of a dream.

"It's all that works to put her down." Aaron had gotten her to drift off while Daryl was lost in thought. "I tried so many songs before I came to that one. I nearly pulled all of my hair out." He placed her down gently into the bed and hummed a few more verses to ensure the movement wouldn't wake her then tiptoed out of the room, pulling the door so that it was slightly ajar.

"Yeah?"

"I'm so glad I'm with someone who loves kids movies."

"Tarzan was my first crush," Eric confessed. "I watched that movie about...ten times. A week." A bit more when he was thirteen...

Daryl shifted uncomfortably, assuming what else Eric had done during those ten times a week, and he headed for the door. "Carol oughta be ready to get home. It's late, and y'all got a lot to celebrate, but umm, thanks for dinner. And dessert."

"We're happy to have you."

Aaron walked him to the door. "Maybe we can...do some triple dates later."

Daryl frowned. "Triple dates?"

"Us adults and the kids," he clarified.

"Oh, yeah. Carol would like that." He smiled a little. "See ya later. Have a good night." He stepped off the porch and headed for Maggie's, knowing Carol hadn't left yet.

Eric crossed his arms and leaned in the doorway. "Do you think our sex life will decline now that we have a toddler?"

"I think our sex life will decline if you keep talking about your Tarzan crush."

"Have you seen that movie?"

"Yes, I have. Some people like you wanted to bone him, some of us wanted to be him."

He arched a brow. "Oh, really?"

"I didn't mean me, and even if I did mean me, it's a no."

"Oh, come on." He followed him back inside the house.

Daryl trotted along the sidewalk to Maggie's house, glancing up a few times to find the moon and its grey light casting shadows on the ground. He inhaled and hurried his pace. He wanted to catch Carol before she was too sleepy to talk. He had some things he wanted to discuss tonight, and he didn't want her passing out ten minutes into his rant. Again.

As luck would have it, he caught her just as she was leaving, she made a face at him, as she'd told him not to come and get her, but it faded quickly. He said goodnight to Maggie, and they headed home hand in hand.

Once there and inside, Daryl built a fire, and Carol kicked her boots off, getting comfortable on the couch. She had already eaten as well, so he grabbed a few dried fruit and threw them together in a bowl for snacks. It was pretty much all that had for snacks after Neva went on a kick, and Carol liked them, so it worked. He planned mostly on talking, so maybe it would be best if she was munching. She wouldn't be sleeping that way.

"You seem serious." Carol studied him. "Did you have a good time at Aaron and Eric's?"

"Yeah, it was great. Got to see Abe and Sasha, too. I was...the dessert favorite for Eli."

She smiled. "I think you're just good at winning little girls' hearts. Judy loves you. The kids at the prison. Beth. You're a cool older brother, a badass hunter, a...complete teddy bear."

He glared. He resented that last comment.

"Daryl, you've read books to our son and made voices. You can't fool me."

"I don't...make voices." He tossed a small log into the fire, grumbling to himself.

"He loves those voices," Carol informed him. "He especially likes Mr. Fox. He kicks super hard when you use that voice. It makes him happy."

He smiled a little. "He does?"

"Yes. He loves you."

"Think he'd love Tobin?" Daryl looked down at the floor.

Carol hadn't expected that, but she didn't hesitate. "Yeah, I think he would've loved Tobin. He would have been a good father. He just let the worst of him win, and...I wish it had turned out differently for our son, but...if wishes were poppy, we'd all be dreaming."

"I think we oughta incorporate his name into our son's name. I mean, it's only...fair."

"A name doesn't fill the gap," Carol remarked, "but I think you're right. Maybe a middle name? Like Toby."

His smile came back. "That's cute. Reminds me of a puppy though."

She laughed. "Don't tell him that."

He joined her on the couch. "I...uh, actually got a name in mind, and I got a story behind why I want to use it."

"I love your stories, just like our son." She gave him her full attention.

"Greyson." He peeked at her.

"Grey...son?" She hummed. It felt odd on her tongue, but not wrong. "Greyson Toby Dixon."

"It just... Well, I think of it like this," he blurted, thinking she hated it. "When I first found out you were pregnant and how you'd gone out of your way to hide it from me...everything was pretty shit. I mean, I ditch town for days, and it was rainin'. It was mucky and just...well, grey. Even the pharmacy I broke into was grey. Uh, anyway, when I got back and we talked...it got better. Not right away, but gradually, and...we had a lot of good days."

"Even when I broke out of town for air?" She wore a wince, waiting for a negative response.

"Yeah, actually." He chuckled, remembering that night. "It was kinda nice to get away, just us, without anythin' too terrible happenin'."

She bit her bottom lip to repress a grin.

"It was really sunny that day, but it was the day I think it all sank in, and I knew I would be there for him completely. It was...like it was burned into my skin...hell, into my soul even. It just became real for me, and when I saw the blood and thought something had happened to him...that's when it all hit me."

"Daryl..."

"So...Greyson," he concluded, "seems right to me. I know it's your kid and all. I mean, it's my kid too, but he has your blood and DNA and you have more of a say on his name and all of that—"

"Daryl," she cut him off and set a hand on his arm. "You had me at I actually got a name for him."

"Wait, really? You like it?"

"Like it? Daryl, I think it suits him better than any I could have come up with."

He chewed his bottom lip and smiled. "Greyson Toby Dixon."

Carol set a hand on his thigh and moved closer to him. "Thank you, Daryl."

He looked at her. "For what?"

"I can't begin to explain in words how thankful I am to have had you by my side through all of this." She felt her heart racing in her chest at how much she loved him and all he'd done for her. "I love you more than I think I've ever loved anybody, and I can't believe I can to raise this baby with you. I get to have you with me for the rest of my life, and...it makes me...so happy. Happy isn't even the word for it, but I can't think of another word right—"

He cupped her cheeks and kissed her softly once the tears appeared. He knew they weren't from sorrow, but his heart still hurt to see tears there. He knew what she was going to say, because he felt the exact same way. To wake up every morning with her in his arms, to raise this baby together and argue over every little thing they disagreed on. To teach him all the things Merle taught Daryl and to watch Carol teach him all the things Hershel taught her. Spending every day with her by his side and their son...right there beside them too was almost too much. Life had been so cruel to him, but now...despite the anger and the horror that still found its way to them, it was becoming very sweet. He was rich in all the ways anyone could be grateful to rich in and then some. If he could have just...done it all sooner, realized his feelings sooner and not have wasted time. Maybe then it would be their son by his blood.

"I love you," Carol whispered when his lips left his, her face still close enough that her nose was against his. It was all she could think to say, because those words she seldom heard in her life and it was even rarer for him to have heard them. "I love you."

He wiped a tear away and kissed her once more. He didn't know how to say it. I love you more than life itself. I love you more than the air I breathe. I love you so much that it physically hurts me, even when I'm thrilled out of my goddamn mind. It still hurts. There's not enough bliss, so somehow pain thinks it can cover and joins right in apparently. He didn't know. He didn't care. He just loved. Fuck. He loved harder than he thought he could.

Carol's moan dispersed his thoughts, and everything that he'd been trying to ignore came screaming at him. To say it'd been a long time since he'd gotten...any was a massive understatement. He didn't date, and he was awkward as fuck, so he didn't seek women out. And then the world ended. But now here he was alone with the woman he loved, and...everything overeager and...alarmingly ready.

He didn't want to put Carol in an awkward position, so he started to back off when her hand caressed him through his jeans. He shuddered and groaned almost pained by the contact, and he was pretty sure all it'd take was a few more of those and he'd be done. Fuck.

"Don't stop," she murmured by his ear when he ducked his head, trying to calm down enough to actually go somewhere with this. "Just don't."

"Carol—" he couldn't finished his sentence and just closed his eyes tightly. He wanted this, but he had no idea how to handle this. Figured.

"Let's go upstairs." She set a hand on his cheek, stroking away the tension settling onto his face from the force he was using to keep his eyes closed. "Come on."

She led him upstairs to their bedroom, he had somewhat regained control of himself, and she stood in front of him in a dimly lit room. She didn't say anything, didn't laugh at him for being so insecure and shutting down on top of her for fuck's sake.

He opened his mouth to apologize, but she shook her head. He tried once more, but she kissed him. It wasn't like their kisses downstairs; it was gentle and quick. He watched as she gathered the hem of his shirt in her hands and lifted it up. He aided her and let it fall to the floor beside him. She drank in the exposed skin, the tattoos and the scars, and he wanted to cover himself out of habit, but at her hand on his breast, he was...frozen.

Her lips met his chest first, soft and warm, and her hands moved to his sides. She was very gentle, very thorough, and the blood in his body while still rushing and screaming seemed to calm. His heart was pounding, and she continued to trail kisses along his torso up, moving to his neck and jaw then to his lips once more. It was a deeper kiss, her tongue slipping into his mouth, and he couldn't stand still anymore.

He wrapped his arms around her, she moved his arms immediately, and he was about to just let go when she moved his hands underneath her top. Together they removed it, and it dawned on him that this was the first time he was seeing her body. She had seen him before, but he'd never seen hers. Well, the upper half anyway, and he had to...see it and touch it. Touch her.

His fingers around the stretch marks from Sophia, and he smiled to the left of his mouth. He stroked her belly once then moved onto the small scars Ed had given her and the not so small scars. It dried out his throat, but he didn't let it stop him. He didn't want to the past to stop them; it already had so many times before, but it wouldn't tonight.

His hands came to her breasts, and all of his lovey lovey thoughts went out the window. He had noticed they had swelled months ago, but now he could... God, he couldn't swallow for shit, right now.

Carol chuckled at his expression. "They're breasts, Daryl."

"I know." He sounded whiny.

"Then...touch them," she suggested, unfastening the clasp of her bra and letting it fall to the floor with slight assistance.

He gulped and just kinda grabbed them like melons at the grocery store. It caught her off guard, and he wasn't sure what to do...with them now. He didn't know if they were tender or what, but they were incredibly soft, firm, too. He stroked them like he would her belly, a slow smile crossed her lips, and his thumb found her hardening nipples. He stumbled a moment then Carol's hand cupped his, her thumb moving over his, and she showed him what to do, what she liked, and honestly it was probably the sexiest thing he'd ever seen.

He continued the motions on her other breast, she was panting and moaning, and her nails were digging into his wrist hard enough to leave marks. And he knew there so much more they had to learn about each other's bodies, all the scars and the pleasure spots, but he couldn't take it any longer. To be so close to her and to have her moaning and kissing him was about to make him lose his mind. He wanted her to the point where breathing seem unfair, because he wasn't kissing her. Removing her clothes was a task, because he was pulling cloth off her body, not stroking it and bringing her body closer to his. He felt impatient, but at this point so was she.

He wasn't sure who had guided who to the bed, but he didn't have to think about who was going to be on top. Carol had made that decision herself, and he couldn't even think to protest against it. Once she was on top and he was inside of her, the entire world just...didn't exist. He didn't exist. All there was was her and the feel of her, and he dug his nails into her thighs and burned his lungs out calling her name, because Christ. Jesus H. Christ.

That was another thing he said, like he was a fucking pastor at a church. He'd never said God so much, and he meant it like he was thanking God for putting this woman on this earth at the same time as him. He didn't even believe in God, but there he was, grunting out his name and her name and trying to figure out if he even had a body anymore. Hell, he just felt like one being with her, and it felt like home. It felt safe. It felt...incredible and out of this world, and he had never come so hard before in his entire life. His hand was put to shame.

He had lost all feeling in his body afterwards, Carol just sort of silently observed him, and he wondered if he had bones for a long time. He would curl his fingers, but that was about all.

"You okay there, Daryl?" She propped her head on her hand.

He suddenly went very red and wanted to curl under the bed. How long had he been acting like this exactly? Fuck!

"Don't be embarrassed." She wrapped her arm around his shoulders and lied beside him. "Just checking in." She rested her head on his chest, not keeping him there, just being close to him.

"I'm sorry," was all he could think to say.

"Sorry for what?" she peered nervously at him.

"I'm not sure."

She giggled. "Then why are you sorry?"

"Just... thinkin' back, I'm not...sure it was anythin' good for you."

She traced his collarbone. "I was close to you in this entirely new way, and that was...amazing for me."

So I sucked pretty much, he thought to himself. "Oh."

"No, not "oh". It's definitely a stretched out "oh"." She smiled at him. "Then of course there's your name. Then another oh."

He reddened, and he wasn't sure why. He wasn't sure of anything other than she fucked him stupid. Very stupid. He lost about fifty IQ points.

"And besides I can take care of myself until next time." She traced his tattoo and felt his heart begin to race underneath.

"Next time?" He rolled his head to the side to look at her. Take care of herself?

"We're a couple. There'll be a lot more next times."

"...can there be one...now?"

She chuckled and kissed him. "Definitely."

He rolled her underneath him and had to pause at the bump. "Maybe you should..."

"Probably." She chuckled against and pulled him back to her, sealing his mouth with hers.

– – –

Daryl had gotten shit all day for the grin he wore. Abe was the one who recognized it for what it was—great sex—and everyone just joined in. He worked alone his entire shift because of it, but Rick came to help him out. Rick and his comments and jokes, and Daryl threw a massive chuck of mug at him. Rick was pissed but came back with more jabs, and they ended up wrestling in the mud like two idiot teenagers, and Abe just let them.

Michonne came to get Rick to meet with Maggie and was both annoyed and amused. She knew what happened between the Dixons, and she knew her man, so it wasn't challenging to put together, but this was just sad. She had to give Daryl a boost and let it slip Rick hadn't gotten any in a few weeks now, and Rick looked ready to bury himself in the mud. Abe busted out laughing and turned the hose on them. It was still cold as shit with fucking icy ass water blasting on them, and Daryl regretted even getting out of bed as he stood there, dripping wet with mud coating his boots. Rick seemed to share that thought as they slunk off towards home to shower and get changed.

Michonne went on ahead without Rick to meet Maggie, and she spotted Carol at the graves. She didn't want to interrupt, but she didn't approve of a pregnant woman sitting on the cold ground. She argued with herself before coming to a decision.

Carol was at Tobin's grave with the latest sonogram and news from Neva. She replaced the flowers at his grave and tucked the photo underneath with their son's name typed out onto it. "Thank you, Tobin." It was a soft whisper, filled with friendly affection and regret.

"Hey." Michonne stood beside her. "You shouldn't be on the ground. Also I'm positive from memory you can't get up right now."

"Nope." She smiled. "Care to give me a hand?"

She helped her onto her feet and dusted her off. "What are you doing?"

"Paying a visit to Tobin. I... his flowers needed changed." She shrugged. "And...um, I just needed to."

"You don't have to explain anything."

Her eyes moved over Michonne's shoulder. "But they do."

She turned to find Rick and Daryl sloshing in their shoes on the way home, and she snickered. "Sure you wanna know?"

"You know?"

"I was there."

"Then I definitely want to know." She giggled at her soggy soulmate and drenched friend.

"C'mon, I'll tell you on the way to the meeting." She looped her arm through Carol's, and they headed to Maggie's, laughing over their immature and adorable men. The grave of Tobin left with fresh flowers and a sonogram of baby boy Greyson at 30 plus weeks.