"Hey… girl?" I attempted, clenching my teeth as I cringed. Chloe could only shake her head, covering her face with her hand. Three hours passed of my attempts at being a confident person. It had to painful to watch, because being a part of it was very painful.

"I swear, Max…" she groaned. We both never wanted to do this ever again; we didn't have to say it. We stood together in the middle of the living room, still in our pajamas, desperate to work out what to say and how to act. All we learned was words don't form in my mouth and my body language looks uncomfortable all the time.

Hi, we're in the same class! I was the one in my pjs who came in late.
Hey, you're pretty and I've been wanting to talk to you?
Um, get out of my school?

"Chloe, no matter how many times I do this, I'm gonna mess it up once it happens." Please… end this. This sucks. I suck.

"You know what," Chloe pressed her hands together, "Let's go to Starbucks. I'll work, you'll relax, I'll pay for all the fucking coffee you want, hot or cold or whatever-the-fuck, and we'll talk on my breaks."

She had me at "relax," but the drinks were a plus. What we did was three hours too long.

"I should work in a bar instead."

"I feel like that's more your forte," I replied, "You should think about it."

"I wanted to, but now you need coffee in your system. What's next? IV?" I was ready to answer, but it was rhetorical. "I'll get it as a second job during the night. Damn, my mom would be proud of me."

She hasn't spoken to her mom since we left. I was still in touch with my mom and dad, but I remember she fixed her relationship with her family, especially her stepfather. She talked about them in a better light at the very least, though I wondered if she ever missed them. I didn't think about it long. I got ready for the day out.

When I wore my usual jeans, t-shirt, and jacket, I sat down on the couch again; the TV was still playing the food channel. I never understood the appeal of watching food, but now as a nineteen-year-old college student, I couldn't bring myself to stop watching it. Ironic to say as my diet continued to transcend into dangerous amounts of coffee per day.

"I'll treat you to the pirate cake pop little shits," Chloe came back out in her all-black and green apron, "Right, remind you of our times together to chill out a bit."

"That would be nice." I replied, turning the TV off. I didn't eat those much; it was a little too sweet every time I get them. It made my face scrunch up like it was sour, but it was so sweet I might be killing my teeth. But, Chloe was offering, so I didn't mind that.


I've noticed at her job that she was very good at spelling people's names. I've asked if misspelling on purpose was a thing, but she didn't know what I was talking about. We passed by my school, looking very empty on the outside since class was in session, and went to the Starbucks parking structure. It was a parking structure for lots of the things in the area and it was well-hidden behind my school.

We walked into the café; the employees were still setting up and getting everything ready for the day. At least the chairs were on the ground already and not upside down on the tables.

"I'll pay for the things, 'kay?" Chloe asserted.

"I can go half—"

"You're broke," Chloe said before walking through the "employees only" door, "Let me do it."

As she disappeared, all I thought was how right she was. I decided to check my bag; I only had one dollar in my wallet.

"Chloe, you're here!" An employee called out.

"Sup, I need one black coffee and about ten pops!" Her voice became further and further away.

I sat alone at a two-person table. I really liked circle tables, like this table was for me and for me only, even with the second chair.

I went into my phone and went through apps again. I got texts from Rachel from time-to-time—the last one was around four AM and it said "goodnight, Max!" She sent goodnight texts every night. Not at any specific time, just if it was still night. Chloe wasn't subtle about talking to her so late. I tapped my fingers against the wooden table as I looked at my phone, looking at memes. I saw this new one about a monkey in a barber chair and I've never been more confused.

I heard the door open, and I looked for a couple seconds, before looking down again. I couldn't help but drop my phone on the table and rest my head down, letting what happened earlier catch up to me. Stupid! What the hell is wrong with me?!

"Max, you're not happy to see me?!" I recognized the voice in a heartbeat. I looked up and met with Rachel's eyes, bright and happily looking down at me.

"Oh, Rachel!" I stood up and hugged her. Despite being a worldwide model star, she was still in her blue flannel. She was only gone for about ten months, though we thought it would be for a couple of years.

"I took an overnight flight here. I didn't want to say that it was my last show for the time being; I wanted to surprise you! Your hair is hella cool!"

"Thanks. Wowser, you really tricked me yesterday. Chloe's gonna break and lose everything once she sees you."

"Good, because I'm going to do that too. And, her birthday just passed, so—" She winked and stuck her tongue out, approaching the front counter. My eyes widen as the unfinished sentence and action sank in. I laughed, but in the end, I was still feeling awkward.

Chloe came out again from the back with a cup of coffee in hand. She passed her like she was nothing. I feel like even in the corner of your eye, you still knew it was Rachel. I saw her smile as she looked at the back of her.

"Here," she dropped the cup in front of me, "Don't lose your shit, alright?"

"You should be saying that to yourself." Rachel spoke up.

Chloe took a minute to let her voice sink in. She didn't turn at first, eyebrows furrowing and shaking her head, like it was all in her head. She gave me a look, eyes pointing to her and then me again. I nodded. She turned, dropped her jaw, and ran to her. They went into a tight hug, hiding their faces into each other's shoulder. It couldn't last too long, being in the middle of a Starbucks, but there were photos being taken from the employees. I knew they were only taking them because it was Rachel Amber.

"You're really here!" Chloe exclaimed.

"I wanted to surprise you. It felt like I've been apart from you for too long."

I should take pictures. I reached into my bag and took my polaroid camera out, taking pictures of them from my seat. They'll want something to remember this.

When they separated, Chloe was still holding onto her arms, "What do you want to eat? I'll make it for you."

"I already did, but maybe later. Max, do you want anything?" Rachel turned her head to me.

"She does actually," Chloe interrupted, "She only drinks coffee."

I already had one cooling down on my table. It was the first of maybe ten I was going to drink in one sitting.

"Eat a sandwich, at least," Rachel walked over and sat across from me, "You don't eat anything else?"

"I drink like… three cups a day."

Chloe scoffed, under her breath, "More like three hundred." She walked back to behind the counter again.

Rachel clasped her hands together, walking to the counter, "On second thought, I'll eat a little bit. I'm going to buy a sandwich and a coffee for myself."

"Do I have a problem, Rachel?" I asked, resting my elbow on the table, pressing my palm to my cheek.

"No, I just want you to eat something." Rachel sounded like a mom. Chloe was the cashier, so she was all smiles. I haven't seen Chloe smile so big in a long time.

I heard Rachel say, "Does she eat anything here?"

"Nope, I don't know what the hell she eats anymore."

Now hearing it, it was embarrassing. My diet's fucked. Rachel might become my mom for real and feed me.

Rachel came back with her receipt, sitting across from me, "You should tell Chloe what you eat, you know."

"I only eat snacks. I didn't think it was that important to mention."

She rolled her eyes, smiling in the end with a light laugh. Her smile and overall presence was so contagious, my good mood was all the way up already.

"So," she clasped her hands together again, smiling with intrigue, "Tell me about this mystery girl."

Of course, I couldn't escape from this. "She's just a girl in my Tuesday class. I always thought she was pretty and, since the first time she smiled at me, I've been too afraid to speak to her."

"I get you." She nodded as she listened. "I can see why Chloe told you to open up, but I have a feeling she was a little more forceful."

"I tried to practice earlier, but none of it felt right. Chloe tried her best, but we were both frustrated. I don't know what to do."

"Just let it happen naturally, Max. I know you developed some anxiety from moving before and then moving here. It's hard talking to anyone, especially someone you have feelings for. I could see you shaking from here. You need to do is get those first words out, then all that stress is going to melt off."

Both she and Chloe took my anxiety into consideration, all while still being themselves without changing too much. It made me feel happy, if not a dead weight they had to drag around. The feeling can't be helped. I wish I could just speak like a normal person.

As I looked down, the door opened again and I couldn't believe it. It's her! I slammed my hands down and the look of Rachel's face she knew. My hands made her divert her attention for a split moment, only to turn back again.

"She's really cute, Max." Rachel whispered to me. She had the same bun and wore the same cardigan and in her hand, was the same sketchbook. I know that, Rachel!

"I'm gonna talk to her." Rachel stood up quickly. I grabbed her wrist; I think that was the fastest reaction I ever had. She looked surprised too, but her expression softened. "I'm not ready." I whined. I probably looked pathetic; I felt like it.

"I'm not going to mention you." She patted the back of my hand. The reassurance helped me let her go. She went through a quick order and Rachel caught up right away. I had to listen. Rachel, I hope you didn't lie to me.

"Hey, I just wanted to say that I like your hair." Rachel started the conversation.

"Oh, thank you," she replied, "I like your earring." Her voice sounded timid and tired. She must have come from class.

"Do you go to that art school? I'm asking because of your book."

"Yes! I'm almost done with my third quarter."

"That must be a relief."

"It is, but… you do have a familiar face."

"You look at magazines often?"

"Oh, yes, you're a model! My roommate talks about you a lot—"

I stopped listening when Chloe came back out with two bags of sandwiches and a box. It was full of cake pops, I think. My teeth hurt just thinking about eating them.

"Who is she talking to?" Chloe bent over towards me and voice low.

"The girl I need help talking to."

"Um, hello, talk to her! She might fall in love with Rachel!" There was still anger in her tone, even though she was whispering.

"I wouldn't be surprised if she did."

Chloe smacked me on the forehead. I could barely hear their conversation anymore because of the blender. Chloe walked back to her job and Rachel came back to me, leaving her to go to her own table.

"What did you learn?" I asked her.

"Her name's Kate, she's an animation major, and she loves rabbits." Rachel listed.

I nodded, fiddling with my sleeves. I pressed my lips together to say something, but she wasn't done yet.

"She's also very religious. She went on this whole thing about God; it was surprisingly fascinating."

Okay, there goes my hopes down the drain. It was one of those things you first learn when you realize you like girls, and it was to never fall for a straight girl. I thought it was a joke, but I have had my fair share of crushes that ended up being one-sided.

"Hey, don't get all sad," she grabbed her sandwich, "Just because she loves God and all, doesn't mean there's no chance. I still want you to try."

The chance was so slim that light wouldn't shine between the cracks. Rachel was so good at speaking and connecting to people, I was envious of that. I had no hope, but if I gave up now, would I ever know? I have only ever been in one relationship in my life and it ended a year ago on a bad note. I need a long talk with myself.


We stayed for half of Chloe's shift. The sandwich was good, even though it was tasty, it was still unsatisfying. She drove us to our apartment, so Rachel can admire the decor and whatnot. She said she was going to sleep over and said something about getting her bags later. She had the box of cake pops in her hands; we only ate a couple.

"How much is rent here?" She reached into the box and ate another one.

"It's about nine-hundred, I think, without water and electricity," I replied, unlocking the front door, "welcome to pirate cove."

She walked in and looked at every single poster. I couldn't tell what she was thinking, but the little smirk told me she liked it. "It reminds me so much of Chloe's old room. It's so like you guys to be disorganized. I'm into it." Her standards were still the same; I thought they would change since she was surrounded by expensive materials for almost a year.

"How do you guys pay for this thing?" Rachel placed the box on our dining table. She sat down on the couch, sinking into the brown cushions.

I sat next to her, falling into the seat, "We were given some money from our families."

"You guys are saving most of the money, right?"

"When you only drink stuff, we pretty much save ninety-nine percent of it. She wants to get a job during the night at a bar, though."

She crossed her legs, left over right, "That's good. It's more of her style! But, you should really eat better."

"I'm fine! I'm still the same, just a lot of caffeine in my system."

"Speaking of addictive in systems," she laughed at herself for saying that, "Does Chloe still smoke or anything?"

I hummed, trying to think of the best answer. In the whole year we lived here, there were a few times I could smell cigarette on her. She never talked about it and I never found them, so the answer would be "yes, but she wasn't honest or in my face about it?" She never smelled like weed since the move.

"Sometimes? She might take smoke breaks at work. You could smell it on her when she comes back. Why do you ask?"

"I'll keep that in mind. It's her thing, you know that. I was curious, I stopped completely."

"That's good. I always thought drugs were huge in the model industry."

"Oh, they are. I wanted to stop after everything at Blackwell and there, in general. I needed a new start. And my mom, of course! She got clean just to be with me, so that helped me too."

I nodded. Rachel had kept a close relationship with her mom since her career took off, which was good, because from what she told me, her family back in Blackwell put her through some shit. She developed hate for living in Arcadia Bay, hated it more than us. She left before us to pursue her career, making Chloe very bitter (still kinda was) and not admitting it.

She added, "What about drinking?"

That was a different problem. Chloe had a drinking problem. She used it for stress, like the smoking, but it was becoming alcoholism. It was becoming worse and worse since Rachel had to be away. She won't drink now that she's here. I know it! She can't.

"Same thing. Not on breaks, I mean—we'll see."

She tilted her head and had a worried look on her face, "Okay." She shifted in her seat, holding her pinky out to me, "Promise me, Max. You're going to eat more and better and you'll talk to Kate."

"Y-you want me to talk to her next week?"

"No… but, soon would be nice." She had a wide grin on her face, waiting for my answer. That means we would have to practice more…

I suppressed a groan, nodded my head, hooking my pinky with hers, "Okay, but you're helping me practice with Chloe!"

Rachel nodded more enthusiastically, "Well, duh! I want you to be good and ready. You know, I want you to feel and know you're ready."

"Thanks, Rachel."

"No problem, Max. Now, do you want to hear about what I did in New York?"

"Always!"