Chapter 5: Silhouettes in the Graveyard
After dropping my shells into the shipping bin and taking care of a few other tasks on the farm, I returned to the cemetery, curious to see if something unusual was going on there. I stood beside a grave marked for "Our Beloved Mona," where I had often seen Abigail stand before. I never thought to ask if this grave has any significance to her… I closed my eyes, wondering if I could channel some type of spirit. I heard the low murmur of two people engaged in a hurried conversation and the shuffling of feet. My eyes flickered open for a moment, but closed once I realized it was just a couple of people passing by. The footsteps stopped a few yards away from me and the conversation became more audible.
"…I'm sorry," a female voice sighed. "I can't help the way I feel."
"If that's how you felt, then why didn't you speak up before we got married?" I recognized that voice as Sebastian's. My eyes widened and my muscles tensed.
"I don't know," the woman continued, and I realized it was Abigail. "I guess I didn't want to deal with it…but now, it's all I think about."
I quietly shuffled into a hiding position against Mona's tombstone, peering around it slightly to see their silhouettes sitting dangerously close together on a nearby bench.
"There wasn't any point in telling me," Sebastian went on. "I mean, you're my friend, Abby…I care about you. But I don't know how to deal with something like this." He shifted his hand anxiously through his hair. "I wish I had a cigarette right now or something…"
I felt nothing as I eavesdropped on their conversation, which I knew meant that I would succumb to an incredible heartache later. Nevertheless, I was frozen in place.
"I'm sorry," Abigail apologized again. "I don't even know why I said anything…I guess I just needed to get it off my chest once and for all."
"Don't say anything to her," Sebastian warned angrily. "Just…put it out of your mind, okay? There's no future in it."
Those last five words made the context of their tragic exchange crystal clear: Abigail is in love with Sebastian. I felt a knot form in my stomach as my throat went dry.
I watched them from the shadows as they walked back to the Stardrop Saloon, and once I was certain that they were out of earshot, I quickly escaped home through the Cindersap Forest. Once I was locked away safety in my home, I decided to take a shower and get ready for bed.
I did a lot of thinking as the hot water rushed over me, washing away the sweat and grime of the day. I was angry at Abigail for having feelings for Sebastian, and even more so for telling him, but I knew I couldn't fault her for something she had no control over. But Sebastian…something in the way he phrased things didn't sit right with me.
"If that's how you felt, then why didn't you speak up before we got married?" What did he mean by that? If Abigail had confessed her love for Sebastian before he and I exchanged vows, would he have chosen her instead? There was a certain anger in his voice as he spat out those words…could it have been frustration after the fact?
Is this what Sebastian has been hiding? I wondered as I toweled off and slipped into comfortable pajamas. As I stepped out of the bathroom, Sebastian was waiting for me. I let out a startled cry and stumbled backwards, knocking the toothbrushes into the sink. "I thought you were out at the saloon," I exclaimed, fixing the mess I had made.
"It's almost eleven." He shrugged casually.
I looked up at him and our eyes locked. He showed no signs of guilt or resentment, but something about his piercing gaze made me question his integrity. He seemed so happy when I told him that I loved him…he seemed so honest when he shared his feelings with me. Was all that a lie?
"You okay?" He waved his hand in front of my face, and I snapped back to reality.
"Sorry." I moved past him and sat on the edge of the bed. I expected him to use the bathroom, but instead he followed me to the bed. He sat down and whispered my name to catch my attention.
"Yeah?"
"You…you love me, right?"
"Of course…" Was he trying to make a decision? Weighing his options? I couldn't figure out why he was asking me that question. "Do you love me?"
"You're everything to me," he replied without missing a beat. I wanted to believe his words, but I could barely trust my own ears at that point. I was second-guessing every nuance in his voice. He draped his arm around my shoulders. I rested my hand against his chest, and we leaned in to kiss each other.
I tried not to think about the possibility of him imagining that he was kissing someone else, and instead decided to focus on persuading him with my physical affection. She could never give you this, I told myself. He pulled me closer as the kiss deepened, bringing his hand to my face and caressing the contours of my cheekbones with his thumb. I moved my hand to his leg for support, gradually sliding my palm upward…
He caught my wrist in his hand and gently broke the kiss. "Let's save that for another night," he suggested tenderly. "I've got a lot on my mind right now." He planted one last kiss on my forehead as he rose from the bed. "Why don't you get some rest?"
I mumbled a soft "goodnight" as I slipped under the covers, turning my back to Sebastian so he couldn't see the tears of rejection pooling up in my eyes.
