Luckily, I was not scolded as much as I thought I would be. When Rachel came back, she simply gave me a slap on the wrist and told me to never avoid drinking from the same cup again. She has actually slapped me across the face once, but I would rather forget that. My cup incident seemed to bring them together again, scolding me and being my moms once again.

When I was left alone again, I slapped myself on the forehead. It was stupid of me to just avoid and avoid, what was I doing? My mind just… shut down and it makes me do stupid shit. There were so many things I wanted to ask: how the short film was doing, why she didn't wear her purity ring anymore, why she couldn't sleep. She was becoming more mysterious to me. The whole story and how open she was to being so close to me made me want to believe she was gay.

"Max, what the fuck noise was that?" Rachel had decided to come out to check on me.

"I was scolding myself." I replied, pulling the blanket closer to me.

"You should do that more." She pushed my legs and sat down, then pulling my legs again to put them on her lap.

I laughed softly, "Maybe I will. What did you and Kate talk about? On the way home?"

"Oh! That's what I forgot!" She smacked her hand against my knee. "You're going to see her tomorrow!"

"I'm gonna see her tomorrow?"

"Yup, meet her in the library in the morning. I think seven at your table."

"My table?"

"Yes, Max. Her words, "tell her to meet at our table.'" She pushed my legs off her and stood up again. "So, get some sleep, girl!"

Our… table? Did we meet so often and we becoming so close it was considered our table?


My morning was… fucked up. I woke up from the sheer force of a pillow hitting my stomach, flailing around, only to end up falling on my face on the floor. It was Chloe, because who else would it be. She spent the next hour making fun of the cup incident while I was trying to get my clothes on. Honestly, it was making my anxiety shoot up. I couldn't stop my heart from racing and sweat on my face from embarrassment. I was getting to the breaking point, I was so emotional, I wanted to scream. I was too nervous to tell her to stop.

Okay, something needed to change. I needed to be more confident and take Rachel and Chloe's harsh words as helpful tips and only out of love. I had a strange feeling again, but I shook it off.

"You could sleep in the library again. I would do that."

"Maybe, but I'm meeting Kate there." I said proudly.

"Great, but you better not pull the same shit you pulled yesterday."

"I got it. I'm gonna fix it... raviChloe."

"Leave the nickname thing to me, CarMax."

It didn't hurt to try.

Chloe dropped me off, sarcastically telling me to have a horrible day (because of the nickname attempt), and then sped off. I immediately left to the library, though my stomach was grumbling rather loudly. I went to the same table closest to the entrance and sat there, seeing that Kate wasn't there yet. I didn't want to work and I didn't want to read, but I had to do something while I was waiting. I took out my journal, writing down everything that happened in the past couple of days:

April 3, 2015 6:45 AM

It's the end of week nine; basically, two weeks until school's all over. It depended, but most days were pure bliss. Most moments were ruined by me being a piece of awkward trash. This quarter felt so slow compared to the other ones. I dunno why, maybe because I ended up talking to someone so sweet and pretty, everything somehow felt slower? Crap, I did something so insane recently. I had an opportunity to indirectly kiss her, but that would make too much sense.

I continued to write until I saw someone sit in front of me. Of course, it was Kate, who was happy this day and placed a cup of coffee right in between us. It was a hot day again and she was in another jacket, but I was more distracted by her left hand. I couldn't stop thinking about her saying the whole purity ring thing. As her fingers tapped against the table, I couldn't help but imagine the ring being there at all.

"Good morning, Max." She finally said, stopping her tapping.

"Good morning, Kate. Did you have to see your friends again?" My eyes made contact with hers.

"I was actually practicing. I play the violin and I've been able to play in the mornings again."

"That's cool. How long have you been playing?"

"Ever since I was six. I try not to miss a day, but my roommate, you know?"

"That's so cool. I play the guitar, or used to, I haven't played in a while."

"You need to show me sometime." Kate grabbed her cup and took a sip. At the same time, my stomach let out the loudest growl it could make, making me place my hand over it in surprise. Shit, that could wake anyone up!

"Don't tell me you skipped breakfast." Her face just said "over it."

"I did. Chloe had to go right away to open."

Kate pushed her cup to me, "Would you like some? It's coffee again."

To stab me in the heart again, she actually took the cap off for me. She waited with the cap in her hand. How do I tell her to put it back? I hesitated, but I awkwardly reached over and grabbed the cover, putting it back.

"I'm sorry that happened yesterday."

"What's there to be sorry about?"

"The whole not drinking from the same cup thing. And the literally taking the cap off thing."

"It's okay! Don't be sad about that, it was just the last thing I expected."

"I will drink it, but that will never happen again." I started to, but I practically chugged it down. It was past halfway once I stopped.

"This is why I can't share. It's already almost gone."

"That's fine. I bought it to share."

Kate then went to her bag for her notebook, opening them to a page of neatly-written notes, and started reading it. I sat there, trying to read them upside down and holding onto the white coffee cup close. My mind went blank when I repeated her words in my head. She wanted to share with me, even though yesterday it looked like I didn't want to do that at all. Heart, could you please calm down for one day?


"Is that enough or do you want to get something at the cafeteria?" Kate asked me, eyes still down at her book. I felt like I was stuck in a trance. A whole hour had passed without a single notice. Two things brought me back to reality: her voice and my loud stomach rumbling.

"Are you hungry?" Stupid question. I'm the one who's hungry.

"I'm not the one with the monster in her belly." Kate looked up again.

I was embarrassed, but I couldn't deny it. My cheeks were becoming a bright red, burning hot on my face.

We packed everything we had and then left the library, passing the cup back and forth for sips. It was quiet on our walk through the hall; the cafeteria was on the second floor. Once it was back in Kate's hand again, it was very empty.

"Oh great, I need to get more coffee." Kate laughed as she shook it around.

"Sharing with me is hard, okay?" I laughed with her. I looked at her up and down and felt myself warm up. I cleared my throat, rubbing the back of my neck. It became quiet, which I was both okay yet so bothered with. Talk about something. I hate to annoy, but this sucks…

"Do you wear those kinds of skirts a lot?"

"Not before, but I wanted to try these skater skirts and I really like them. My roommate told me my old ones made me look... insecure, she said."

"You look nice, but that's a mean thing to say." Her roommate sounds like such a bitch.

"It was, but that's how she acts," She grabbed onto my arm, latching on loosely as she caught up to me, "You're walking kinda fast."

Oh my dog, she's grabbing my arm! "Oh, um," I slowed down, allowing her to be at the same pace, but she didn't let go, "Sorry, I didn't even notice I was."

"You're really hungry, aren't you?"

"I am!" I replied. We arrived at the cafeteria, which was roughly the same size as the library, filled with circle tables with many chairs, the walls were covered in graffiti and many different pop culture characters and bright colors, and on the wall, there was a big ass TV with different gaming systems readily available to play on. Against another wall were lines of vending machines with snacks and drinks. Ironically, no cafeteria food.

"What do you want? I'll get it for you so it won't get stuck." Kate finally lets go of my arm.

I chuckled, "You're never gonna let that go, huh?"

"That's how we officially met, so I can't."

Oh, right, that was a real thing that happened... We went up to the machine with the most number of snacks in it and peered in.

"You don't have class until afternoon too?"

"Both afternoon and evening, I have Color Theory and Geometry."

We both continued to look until we heard another voice.

"I suggest the granola bars." A male voice said. Oh shit, you had to be kidding me. I wished every day and night for this scenario to never happen—every hour, even. I don't know what forbidden being didn't want me to move on, but I despised them. I avoided looking at him; I already knew who it was. Stay calm. Breathe in. Breathe out. Keep moving your hands. You're freezing up, come on.

"Oh really, stranger?" Kate responded. She spoke with a very formal and nice tone. Breathe in.

"Yeah, it's early in the morning, it'll help you get that energy you'll need!" Breathe out. As he spoke, I heard the water vending machine whir and then drop a bottle into the shoot.

"Maybe we will, but my friend and I are still looking." Don't notice me. Please, don't.

He was quiet until he gasped, "Hey Max! Crazy to see you here too!"

I slowly turned around and forced a smile, "Hey... Warren. What brings you here?" Keep it together, Max.

"I was called here to fix some of the classroom's computers." I didn't get a good look at him the last time. He looked the same from what I remembered: same helmet hair, same meme t-shirts, and literally nothing else.

"Oh, you two know each other already?" Kate kept the nice tone, but it also sounded slightly strained.

"High school, had some classes together." He replied. Please leave and stop talking. I feel sick.

"That's wonderful. Well, we're going to keep looking, but thank you for the suggestion."

"No problem, see you ladies around." He finally left and I was able to get the breath I was holding in out.

"Are you okay?" Kate rubbed her hand on my back. I looked at her and her face was fully of worry, furrowing her eyebrows and had concern in her eyes. Don't answer honestly. It's okay. It's not that important.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine." I said after a deep breath. "I just haven't seen him in a while. It's just… wowser."

She hummed, lifting her hands to feel my cheeks and forehead, "Are you sure? You feel overheated." The concern was still in her voice.

Think of an excuse! Something that makes sense! "Yep!" I grabbed her hands, taking them off me, "The weather's crazy. How are you never hot?"

"I like my sweaters, Max." She laughed and went back to the vending machine. She kept smiling, but she stayed attentive to me, like still touching my arm and keeping me close.

We got Poptarts instead, eating them through the halls and walking aimlessly. Kate talked about how she used to eat them all the time because her younger sister, Lynn to be exact, loved them a lot. I didn't have an interesting story involving any food (or I had plenty, but they either involved drugs or binging).

"Do you watch that E!News thing?" I asked.

"I watch it with my roommate. Why?"

"Rachel is going to have an interview on there and, from what she said, she was gonna come out. Like, she's just gonna say it."

"Wow, how admirable of her! Must have been scary for her."

"When she talked about it, she seemed chill about it. She talked about not wanting to hide Chloe anymore, so we'll see."

Another moment of silence fell over us. Occasionally, Kate's hand brushed against the back of mine, sending a calming yet electric feeling through my skin. It's Saturday tomorrow… maybe she'd want to hang out? She might be busy with all this film-making stuff.

Kate decided to test me on all the Nutrition things I learned yesterday. As we walked around, she asked random questions she somehow remembered, but I was able to answer. I mean, I answered after five minutes of thinking, but they were correct. Kate then went into her phone and let out a light, yet annoyed laugh.

"Friends need you again?" I guessed.

"Yup and it's barely nine-thirty. Are you going into the library?"

"Yeah, I'll wait for you again in there."

"I'm sorry, but I'll see you there, okay? Don't move unless you have to go to class." Kate ran off, leaving me in front of the vending machine I kicked last time.


I sighed and trudged to the library. I hope to see that short film soon. It better be the greatest short film ever if they keep having to take her away for her help.

I did as I was told and sat in the library. I was switching between reading and walking around the bookshelves, which was incredibly boring. One eventually came and I had to leave for class. I dunno if I feel disappointed or sad…

In class, it was a lot of review, more paper with practices, and lots of going up to the board to put answers. I think I impressed my teacher, judging by their expressions and sometimes clapping from saying the right answer. It got to the point that everyone in class started to clap for me, even though they have no idea why it was happening at all.

At the end of class, Evan stopped me.

"Hey, what you did in there was quite impressive!"

We walked together, but more he was following me.

"You think so? All I did was say answers." I dismissed the compliment. We passed by other classmates, saying small greetings to them.

"You told me you failed the other test. I'm sure they weren't expecting much and that's why they called on you. And then you killed it!"

I only forcefully laughed. I appreciated it, don't get me wrong, it was just that pain you get in your chest when you hear your name get called. Then, the surge of adrenaline when it's over.

"You're really blowing up my ego, dude."

"It's what you deserve."

"Thanks. I need to meet up with my friend though, so I'll see you on Friday, okay?"

"No prob, see you next Friday!"

He left towards another classroom, even though it was early-dinnertime. I continued on my way to the front; Through the glass door, Kate was sitting on the curb again. I decided to sneak, slowly opening the door, and taking far and quiet steps towards her. I was crouching down and, quickly, I grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her around, "Boo!"

She let out a squeak and doing little shrieks. She gripped my wrists and then turned around, "Max, what the heck!"

"I couldn't help!" Even though she sounded mad, she was still smiling. I sat next to her, hugging my legs to my chest, "How was being with your friends?"

"It was actually... uncomfortable, I think I could say?"

I perked up, my back straightening and my eyebrows raised.

She rested on her hands behind her, "I had to do some bad acting."

"Never been a drama kid?"

"Nope, they wanted to try, since I wrote it. But, it was an experience, I guess. It was just a practice at a bench! It went bad..."

"I'm sure you did way better than you think."

"That's uplifting, though you weren't there. Oh, I need to know when the interview will be on, because my last class today ends at ten."

"That's right! Crap, I need to ask." I grabbed my phone and text Rachel. She should be up and about around this time.

"How was your class?" She asked after I finished.

"Surprisingly good, my teacher kept calling on me, but jokes on them, I knew all the answers."

"That's wonderful! I'm glad I was able to help you on your studies then."

"I owe you one."

I laughed, then, ask her tomorrow to hang out. That's the best thing I could give. Just… get those words out! My phone vibrated, it's going to be late, around ten-thirty? Are you ready to go? I texted back, Yeah, at the front with Kate.

"This is really nice."

"What is?" I shoved my phone back into my pocket.

"Hanging out together. Being with you is fun. Rachel and Chloe are fun to be with and... I feel comfortable with you is what I'm trying to say."

"I feel the same way." I nearly choked getting those words out. Just blurt it out! "Um, the interview will air around the time you leave class." I reiterated.

"Okay, good. Wouldn't want to miss it."

It was silent again, listening to the sound of cars speeding off or people walking by us in their own conversations, sitting there with our arms still pressing against each other.

"How was yours, by the way? Your class, I mean." I asked back.

"It was fine. Just learning more about colors and mixing them together, there's nothing interesting to say."

"Do you like it?"

"I do. Though, it does get boring."

"And you have Geometry later?"

"Yeah, my Fridays are incredibly boring, except for today."

I felt my cheeks burn from the statement. Kate had really pink cheeks, and was also avoiding any eye contact with me. Bravely, I also leaned back on my hands, letting one hand inch closer to hers. Okay, here's an opportunity… this is it, Max. It might get weird, but… fuck, you've kicked vending machines and hit your forehead into tables in front of her. I was so distracted, I didn't even hear Rachel calling out my name. Kate looked like she didn't either.

"Earth to Max, are you there?!" I finally heard. I looked to my left and Rachel was standing at a car, still half-out of it, decided to take one of those Uber or Lyft cars. She was a block down in an available parking spot.

"Shit," I stood up right away, "Did you hear her?"

"No, I don't know what happened! I didn't hear her either!" She stood up next to me. Last chance, just ask! You'll be fine. So what if she rejects you? That would be pretty fucked, actually…

We stood around, not wanting to really leave each other.

"This is really nice." I felt her hand touch against my back.

"What is?"

"Hanging out together. Being with you is fun. Rachel and Chloe are fun to be with and... I feel comfortable with you is what I'm trying to say."

"I feel the same way." I nearly choked on my words. Now, now, now! "U-um, hey, are you doing anything tomorrow?"

"I'm just studying for the week. Why, what's on your mind?"

"I was thinking we could hang out tomorrow. Because I owe you!"

She giggled, causing my cheeks to heat up, "That sounds lovely, Max."

"It's super short notice, but we'll meet here?"

"I could give you my number." She suggested. I practically ripped my bag open for a pen. When I found one, I placed it into the palm of her hand. She smiled and laughed at me, popping the cap off the pen. She grabbed my hand and started to write on the back. There was so many things to focus on: how the pen tickled, how soft her hands were, and how Rachel and Chloe were just watching.

"I'll text you later, okay?!" I left, running and jumping into the car, knowing I left the pen behind.

"Maxine Caulfield, how dare you ignore me." It wasn't even a question, it was a strict sentence.

"I'm sorry, Rachel. I was distracted." I rubbed the back of my neck. I wasn't sure what she was going to do.

Her face started to twist and tried to stay serious, failing in the end. She lets out a breathy laugh, "I'm kidding! You look so scared, oh my god!"

"I can't help it!" I pushed Rachel in retaliation.