Chapter 12: Loose Ends
I felt much better after boarding the bus to the valley, but as I came closer to our destination, I became apprehensive. Although I had every intention of seeking out Sebastian, I didn't want to ruin the party with a confrontation right off the bat. I reminded myself that I was there primarily for Abigail, and I had even brought her a gift of an Amethyst to celebrate her big day. I concentrated on keeping my breathing steady on the long bus ride, and once I arrived, I was completely calm.
I had written to Abigail in the time before the scheduled event, confirming my appearance and securing the details of when and where. The celebration, she told me, was to take place in the Cindersap Forest, in the clearing normally reserved for the Flower Dance. Since my farm was on the way to where I needed to be, I stopped by to see how things were going.
Shane was standing outside of the coop with my chickens happily pecking away at the corn he had scattered by his feet. I called to him and waved. He nearly jumped when he saw me.
"Nobody told me you were coming back today," he gasped.
"I'm here for the party," I explained, "but I wanted to check on the farm first."
"It's a lot of work, but it gives me something to focus on to keep from drinking too much. Plus, it's a learning opportunity for Jas."
"That's great!" I gave him the thumbs-up.
I spent the next couple of hours tending my animals. I was certain that they missed me, as they seemed extra happy to be reacquainted with me. When celebration time loomed closer, I took my leave and headed south into the forest.
Walking into that clearing was surreal. My head began to spin as I looked around at the people I had known – Robin, Demetrius, Pierre, Caroline, Clint – even Shane and Marnie had managed to get there around the same time as me, despite having taken different routes. All of them acknowledged me as I passed, giving positive or neutral greetings. Some of the younger townspeople came up to greet me and talk about the ambience of the event, but Sam, Abigail, and Sebastian were nowhere to be found. I made my way to a large buffet table with a tiered chocolate cake, which I presumed to be the handiwork of Evelyn, and a variety of appetizers. There was a small pile of wrapped presents on one side of the table, but I wanted to present my gift to Abigail personally.
At that moment, someone shouted my name excitedly. It was Abigail, of course, looking the same as ever. "I was afraid you weren't going to come!"
I wasn't sure how to answer that, so I just smiled pleasantly. "Happy birthday!" I held out the Amethyst, and she accepted it earnestly.
"An Amethyst!" she exclaimed. "I'm impressed. Thanks."
"Those are good for digestion," stated an unknown woman's voice. I checked behind Abigail and saw a thin, pale woman with short spiked hair and three piercings in each ear. She dressed in a similar manner to Abigail, but more tomboyish.
Abigail affectionately wrapped her arm around the woman's waist. "This is who I wanted you to meet," she chirped. "This is Zanna."
Zanna smiled and offered an awkward wave. "Nice to meet you."
"You too." We shook hands.
We spent some time shooting the breeze. Abigail and Zanna told me about the obscure magick they were deciphering, which wasn't something I was familiar with, but I found it interesting nonetheless. They served me some chocolate cake and suggested I pick a beverage from the self-serve bar to wash it down.
"I wouldn't trust the punch," Zanna said. "I think the old blonde woman over there added an extra ingredient to make it more…exciting." She pointed behind her back with her thumb over by the bar, where Pam and Shane were having a conversation.
"There's some spiced pumpkin juice over there that's pretty good," Abigail suggested.
"All right, I'll see what's over there." I left them at the buffet table and headed over to the bar, which was lined with several empty glasses and a myriad of liquor bottles, and a centerpiece of a fondue fountain modified to serve punch. In spite of Zanna's warning, I decided to try a bit of the punch. I picked up an empty glass and reached into the fountain to collect my drink, but was surprised to hear a clink as I accidentally toasted a glass on the other side. I craned my neck around the fountain to see who was there.
It was Sebastian. He dropped his glass into the fountain and grew even more pale than normal. I jumped backward myself and bumped into Sam, who had come up behind me on the way to use the punch fountain.
"Hey, I didn't expect to see you here," Sam greeted cheerfully.
"Abigail invited me," I explained.
"Good to see you again. Are you coming back for good?"
"I…" I didn't know how to respond to that, especially with Sebastian standing just a few feet away. I eventually settled on, "That's a professional secret."
"I see." Sam sauntered over to the bar to examine the selection of beverages. I turned to look at Sebastian, my heart racing to the point of inducing vertigo.
Here he is, I thought. This is my chance to talk to him… But I couldn't think of what I wanted to say to him.
Sebastian broke the awkward silence. "I thought you were finally out of my life." He said it so nonchalantly that I couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or if he was actually disappointed to see me.
"Abigail invited me." I shrugged. "I assume she invited you, too."
"Yeah, of course."
"So…you're friends again?"
Sebastian sighed with annoyance. "Did you come all the way out here for this?"
"No…" I paused for a moment to clear my throat. I might as well just spit it out. "I still love you, Sebastian. I'm sorry I doubted your love for me. And I'm sorry I didn't fight harder to save what we had." There was more to say, but that was a start.
Sebastian's expression softened into the sadness I had seen the night he moved out of the farm. "I don't hate you." He put his hand on my shoulder, and immediately I felt tears spring to my eyes. "It's just been hard trying to get over you…distance is the best remedy for that." He forced a weak smile. "Just…live your life, okay?"
I was speechless. I nodded and whispered "Okay." He pulled his hand away slowly, and I added, "Goodbye."
