Here is another chapter that focuses solely on the girls' thoughts and feelings and reasons for certain things. I wanted to try and explain everything from the last chapter and set a small foundation for what will happen in later ones. I hope you don't mind. x


The next two days neither of them talked, save for short sentences and one-word answers.

They walked to school in silence, not even exchanging glances. Everyone, even passer-bys who did not particularly famailiarise with the two senshi, knew that something was awry. Ikuto-mama even noticed that the two girls were acting as if something bothered them – what it was, exactly… well, that was something she was unsure of.

And, although both attempted to feign their way through school, their closest friends even sensed that they weren't their usual selves. That there was a hidden problem beneath the fake smiles and the false reassurances. That, in their eyes, there was something distant. Something sad.

- x –

The teacher, dressed in his usual faculty attire, wandered around in the front of the classroom, casually lecturing about mathematical equations and algebraic expressions.

Of course, Usagi sat with her chin resting in her palm, not the least bit interested in taking notes or listening to Mr. Wakane talk about numbers. Instead, blue sapphires stared ahead, at nothing in particular. Empty. Troubled. Thoughtful. Specifically, about the day before. About the realization she had come to.

The realization that… she wanted to forget. She had always wanted to forget, ever since she had re-remembered. Perhaps, that's partially why she had ditched the shrine meeting, and claimed to 'forget'. Perhaps, that's why she had chosen Mamouru, because she hadn't had the opportunity to remember before. Perhaps, that's why she had wanted to disregard her feelings for Rei and push them away as if they had never existed in the first place.

Because of the memories. The quick flickers of her and Rei during her time in the Silver Millennium.

[Flashback]

Silver Millennium.

"Princess Serenity."

The Moon Heir, who had been standing upon the royal balcony and gazing at Earth, spun around to see Princess Mars clad in her senshi fuku. The ravenette stood behind her, and stared at the white-gowned blonde with an understanding, with a softness to her features. The princess of purity felt a sweet smile envelop her lips at seeing the one closest to her. At seeing the one person she loved so dearly and so unconditionally. The one person who… always seemed to make her truly happy.

"Hello, Mars." She greeted. Her smile turned slightly teasing, flirting even, as she eyed the woman's warrior uniform. "I see that you failed to forget my weakness for one in combatant clothing while you were away."

Princess Sailor Mars smirked. Her princess could be so amusingly foolish at times. "I have just returned from a battle on Phobos, Princess." She took a few steps forward so that she stood directly in front of her lunar love. A gloved hand rose up to cup Serenity's cheek. To touch it. To caress it. Her amethyst eyes bore into Serenity's sapphire ones tenderly. "Surely, you know I only fight to protect you."

The Princess Of The Moon returned the gesture by reaching up to cover Mars' hand with her own. She released a small laugh. "Yes, I am fully aware." Her own eyes reflected something deeper than respect or friendship for the woman before her. Much deeper. Her sapphire pools shone with just as much affection and gratitude as she could offer, and she took the raventte's other dangling hand into her own empty one. "The combination of all of the stars in the galaxy could not compare to all my gratitude. You do so much for me, and I must let you know that I am eternally grateful for it. For… everything." Her eyes sparkled. "For… you."

The War Princess smiled full-heartedly, obviously touched by her Princess' endearing words. She squeezed the blonde's hand. "And, I am grateful for you."

[End Flashback]

The memory still left Usagi blushing. Blushing more than anything, but also left her brain puzzled and head reeling. She couldn't tell if it was real or not. It felt like it actually had happened in her past life… but… how could she be sure? Why was she getting these images now, instead of when she had first regained all of her memories as the Moon Princess?

But, then, she thought… maybe… it wasn't that simple. Maybe those type of moments… that those memories… were earlier during her time in the Silver Millennium. Before her death and Queen Beryl. And.. maybe… even before Endymion….

No, no, no! That couldn't be possible!

….Could it?

Usagi thought a moment.

When she had awakened as the Princess of the Moon, she only received flashbacks of her and Endymion and the last battle before they died. The memoirs of Endymion had flooded back almost instantly, because… those had been the most recent. It seemed as if it had taken her longer – much longer – to regain the ones of her and Rei – if, of course, if that's what they were, and she still had a hunch that there were more to come. More to be remembered.. if they were memories. And, if they were, it would only make sense if they were before Endymion, because she definitely knew the ones with him weren't just dreams or illusions.

It started in flashes, bits and pieces here and there, like the one she had just seen. She still got them sometimes. Though, at times, the images seemed so ancient, so obscure, she wondered if such reminisces weren't just subconscious fantasies. In hindsight, they really began once she began to have feelings for Rei. In subtle dreams, barely recognizable at first... back when they were searching for the crystal treasures and the Messiah of Silence. Then, she began to have foggy moments of déjà vu during the day. Then, slowly, after her Starseed had been taken, she began to actually have short, but clear and delicate recollections. But, now, she had been having them much more often now, much more clearer, with emotion, as if they were real. As if they had actually happened. Especially since Rei started staying over at her house.

These were the memories she was running away from, the ones that played in her mind. She found herself revisiting these flashbacks once she had witnessed them, these daydreams that overcame her without warning. She couldn't understand why they were happening, or what they were… where they came from, or if they were even genuine memories. All she knew was… they were making her feelings for Rei-chan stonger. And, that… well… that was a problem, right? Her goal had originally been to avoid her crush on the miko, to throw it away, disregard it, and continue as normal. But, now, how could she do that, when every time she looked at her black-haired friend, she flashed back to the unsettlingly comfortable Silver Millennium dreams/memories that had recently begun to affect her? How could she keep trying to ignore her feelings, when, every time she looked at her black-haired friend, she felt a slight pang to be the least bit more than just 'best friends'?

Ugh!

There had to be something she could do to both make it up to Rei, for treating her so wrongly, and prevent these visions from affecting her! She had considered talking to the psychic girl about it, to confront her with these weird flashbacks, explain that they had been the reason for avoiding the shrine meeting(and Rei), and see if the miko could somehow take them away. But, then… that meant she would have to explain what, exactly, was happening in her visions… and that… that was something Usagi dared not go into detail about.

Besides… her guilt and feelings had her handcuffed. She could barely look at her, much less speak to her, without feeling some sort of heartache.

She sighed.

There had to be something she could do. There just had to be.

- x-

Rei sat at her round lunch table, surrounded by girls who adored her. Private School friends who knew nothing of her life as a senshi, or of her love for Usagi, for that matter. Normal girls who chatted animatedly about normal things and upcoming events as the miko stoically stared into space.

She hated not talking to her blonde friend. It was almost as if a giant wall had been built between them, and an uncomfortable atmosphere always lingered in the air now whenever they were together. She thought it would pass – Usagi's silent moping. It wasn't like her to not talk. It wasn't like her to just stare into space and get lost for long periods of time without having hearts in her eyes. It wasn't like her to… not act like Usagi.

But, ever since the day before, ever since they had left Mamouru's, Usagi had barely said five words to her the whole day, and Rei, not wanting to further upset her, did the same. She felt responsible and she blamed herself. She convinced herself that she had went too far. That she had over-reacted when she'd found Usagi at Mamouru's, and had said too much. That she let their time together get the best of her. Usagi, after all, had originally agreed to spend time with her and their friends. To come to her shrine… even if it was dismantled. Not Mamouru's. And, even more disconcerting, the Rabbit hadn't even bothered to tell them that she had been with him, much less bring her communicator along in the first place. In her own defense, the fire senshi had had every right to worry about that odango-atama and be furious once she had discovered she was perfectly fine(and not dead or injured, like she had initially thought).

But, then again, perhaps she had been wrong to lash out like she had. Even though she had matured quite a bit, Usagi was still Usagi. Forgetful. Ditsy. And, still not the most responsible person ever. It had been only natural for her to not show up at the shrine, because that was the way she was - she had done that sort of thing and unintentionally ditched her friends before, after all. At this point, it was even expected of her… because that's just who the beautiful blonde was.

Plus, Usagi was with Mamouru. Usagi and Mamouru were together, and they had every right to spend time with one another. Mamouru always came first in Usagi's eyes, and everyone knew that. They were an 'item' – a couple, and had been in a relationship both their past and present lives. It hadn't been Rei's place to act on her seemingly unreciprocated feelings for the Rabbit. It hadn't been her place to allow her jealousy to get the best of her, to guide her anger… when her and Usagi were just simply 'best friends' now.

She had already had her chance, when Beryl had brainwashed Mamouru and turned him against them. She had already had her chance, when Mamouru had decided to break up with The Rabbit. Both times, she had had the opportunity to become more with Usagi… to be in a relationship, to take advantage of the situation. Yet, she still had encouraged her to go after him. To not give up. To be with him, even when the sight of them and the mere thought of them being together pierced her heart like a thousand knives. Even in their past lives, in the Silver Millenium, when they had been more than best friends, when her and Usagi had been… together - before they met the Prince of Earth, before the war with Beryl, before everything turned to hell and they were reincarnated here, in the present, on Earth – even then… she had made Serenity forsake her, and had even (ironically) initially been the one to jumpstart her and Endymion's relationship. Even when it felt like her heart was breaking into a million, tiny glass shards.

She had always been there for Usagi, and always would be. Usagi's happiness triumphed everything else. Usagi's safety and uttermost best effort was more dear to Rei than her own. And, that's why… that's always why she put Usagi before herself or anyone else. And, that's why… she was so worried about her now.

Rei would have to find a way to get through to her, to apologise. To come to terms with her over-reaction and how she should have allowed Usagi to at least say good-bye to Mamouru. To become close like they had been, like they usually were, and break down all the walls and all of the discomfort that had been built up. Maybe she could try talking to her later on that evening (if she was lucky), or even the next day might would work.

In any case, she wanted things to return to normal soon. The emotional distance between them had been long enough.