I was growing a painful headache.

I pushed it off in the beginning, trying to get through my studying and working on passing my tests, but it felt like my head was being hammered at continuously. I felt it after the day with Kate, starting as a small, almost unnoticeable throb. I blamed it on school and how overworked I was, as everyone would feel similar to how I felt. I never told Rachel or Chloe, because I didn't want them to worry. I thought about it, obviously, but I preferred ignoring it.

I studied and crammed all Nutrition facts into my brain for week eleven. That week could be described as super full of events, yet nothing actually happens. It was studying, hanging out with Kate, and then rinse and repeat. I actually spent one day in a study group on Thursday with Evan and other classmates, though all I did was listen to them and copy down answers. I passed my two classes barely with weak C's. Rachel and Chloe were impressed, however, Kate told me to try a little harder. She was proud, nonetheless.

After all of the stress was over and all of the classes were done with, my headache felt worse. When I got home (taking the bus instead, using the "I'm tired, need bed" excuse), and no one else was there, I fell into bed and wrapped myself in the blanket, wanting rest.

What's wrong with me? It feels like boulders sitting on top of my head. Just let me get a minute of sleep, Max. Why does it hurt so much? Maybe there's some medication somewhere.

As much as I hated to stand up again, I forced myself out of bed, feeling dizzy, and went into the bathroom, going into the medicine cabinet. Luckily, some ibuprofen was sitting inside. The inner-Chloe in me wanted to take a handful of them, but I took one and went back to bed.

I had too much on my mind. With school of out of the way, I still worried for the next quarter. And the next. And the next. On top of that, what made up most of my worry, were the awkward encounters with Warren. It almost made me sick to think about it; I wanted to barf. Lastly, but never least, was Kate. Hanging out with her was like a pain reliever and I wished it always worked. By now, I cared a little less about trying to date her. Her as a friend was pretty fun already. Us dating would probably be a happy accident. It was only one week for my mind to change like this.


"Max!" I woke up to Rachel's excited voice. Before I could react, I felt her jump onto me on the bed. My headache pain was duller, but still bad.

"Aw, my college daughter's tired." She fixed my bangs off my forehead to see my eyes. When my blurry vision focused, she was smiling down at me, and the light behind her burned into my eyes. I grumbled, not wanting to be bothered, but not wanting to push her away either. "Are you excited for Saturday?"

I nodded my head, weakly.

"What's up with you, Max?" She asked, leaning over more to see me. Even I felt her motherly instinct come out, unintentional, though strong as hell.

I took a deep breath, slowly sitting up to look at her. "I have had a headache, Rache, for a week. I think I just need sleep for more than two hours."

She raised her eyebrow, looking me up and down, "There's something on your mind."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

She kept watching me, trying to break me and admit that I wanted to talk about something. I never wanted to hide something from her, but the issues I had and wanted to deal with felt so small. Something that shouldn't matter as much as I was making it out to be. Isn't it a big deal? There's a reason why you can't stop thinking about it, Max. My temple throbbed in that moment, causing a reaction in me.

Rachel, being the mom she unexpectedly became, scooted to my side and let me rest on her shoulder, "What's going on?"

"I've been thinking," I started, shutting me eyes tightly, "a lot. I just—I saw Warren again at school. I don't know, it feels like he being here has brought some bad memories back. Almost like they're haunting me? I feel dramatic—"

"You're not. Max, if something's up, you can say something."

"But I feel like I'm overreacting over something I did a year ago. It feels so shitty what I did to him."

"And what did you do?"

I avoided saying anything at first. Like anything else I try to talk about, I felt resistance. I avoided looking into her eyes as she tried to lean into my view. I stuttered "I," "Well," "Um," and "Er." My fingers were so numb, it felt like a trillion pins were poking into them.

"Max."

"I–I can't—"

"You can't or you won't?" Her words stung. Tough love was a lot to take in; it felt like she was screaming at me. In my mind, the volume was passed one-hundred, anger was all I could feel in her voice. I was spiraling, shutting down. "Max?"

"It makes me feel stupid."

"We're all hella stupid sometimes. I know this is hard and you want to run away or get out, but I know you can do this."

I took a deep breath. You can trust her, Max. This sucks, but you can be honest. Just think of one sentence you find good enough and just speak.


I had no idea what I was saying. Words were falling out of my mouth, but I was speaking my mind. I never even told Chloe about it; From what I remember, all I told her was that I broke up with him. I couldn't look at Rachel in the face, but I could tell she was listening. At the end, she stayed quiet. Just for a minute.

"Max," she draped her arm on my shoulders, "You didn't have to hold it all inside. So what if your problems seems small? Everyone reacts to different things differently, and yours are still valid. If you want to talk to him, finally get it off of your chest, then talk to him. I want you to be happy and when you're with Kate, it wouldn't bother you anymore. You're okay, Max, you can breathe now."

Her voice was so soothing, like the sound of crashing waves or hearing a slow ballad, it made me feel safe. I inhaled and exhaled and relaxation washed over me. My shoulders stopped tensing, my hands were warm again, my heart was steady—I felt human again.

"Thanks, Rachel, it means a lot. You listening to me and all."

"Just another service I provide," she smiled for a second, then it fell, "and since we're being honest here…"

I knew the feeling wouldn't last long.

"I have no idea how long I'm gonna keep my mouth shut. I love Chloe, you know that and the entire world knows that, but she still wants to drink and depend on it."

"Is she here?"

"No, she went out again to work again. We started talking again, but she complains about how she feels. It's fine, but they're all withdrawal symptoms. How she feels restless and irritated, and this week, she hasn't been able to sleep. It's hella scary."

Her last sentence died down, like she tried to stop herself from saying it at all. I've never seen Rachel so unsure about something before. She said before, she wants to talk about it with her, but for some reason, she just can't.

"Do it at your own pace. It'll feel right… right?"

"Exactly. Thanks, this means a hella lot."

Chloe was another thing. After the whole passing out incident, she would rather kill him than try to fix anything, which was worrying for anyone. I wasn't sure how to confront her about it, let alone bring it up at all. If I were to be Rachel, I would call her on the phone and let my feelings out. But, I wasn't Rachel.


Chloe was late, as always. Not on purpose, of course, but like every other time, she walked in like she hated everyone, everything, and her own life. She would rather not talk, but after thoroughly convincing myself, I had to talk.

"Something up, Max?" She asked as she messed with my hair.

"Yep, so up it's in space now." I laughed awkwardly after. Lame ass.

She cocked her eyebrow at me, "I'm gonna ignore you saying that."

"Wait! Okay," I held my hands up defensively, "I need some help."

She was hesitant at first, but went towards me and crossed her arms, "Fine."

I bit my lip and looked down at her feet, finding the words again. I wanted to say what I told Rachel, but I had no idea what I said.

"It's about Warre—"

"Yeah, I'm out." She started to walk into the bedroom. I didn't stop her, watching her back, until I heard a hand slam on the door.

"You should really listen to her, Chloe. She really needs help." Rachel's voice sounded intimidating.

"My head's hella killing me and I want to sleep for once." She groaned, trying to get passed her.

"Just help her."

She groaned again, louder and deeper. She walked back to me and with an annoyed tone, "What?"

With the help of Rachel, we sat down on the couch and talked it out a little slower. I made sure to talk it out so I could remember the words. Chloe's face was becoming more and more annoyed.

"Why do you need to talk to that fucker?!" She burst out, jumping from the couch. "He fucking annoys me for existing!"

"She needs closure!" Rachel stood up too, "Wouldn't you want that too?"

"No, you ignore him!"

"Just support her at least!"

I was back in an awkward position again, watching them fight from the couch. Watching them made my headache worse—to the point I was flinching at the pain. There was so much tension inside. The fight was so unnecessary, I knew it was something deeper than that. From what Rachel said, she only wanted to talk.


"Kate?" I said after I heard her say hello.

"Max? Are you okay?"

"Hey, I know it's super late—"

"It's fine, Max. I'm always up at this hour, remember?" I felt like she was smiling when she said that. I still felt bad, but as I sat outside in the hallway, looking from side to side, while I could hear Rachel and Chloe's voices on the other side. "What's the matter?"

"Just Rachel and Chloe fighting. Nothing like hearing my two best friends in the whole world fight…"

"A nice little vacation would help them. You don't think they should be apart?"

"That would be the worst idea, I think. They were already apart for nearly a year, then again…" Is it really a bad idea? Maybe for this fight they should be apart… I wouldn't know how to do that. "But, shockingly, that isn't the reason why I called. I wanted your opinion on something."

"Of course."

"I know you met Warren recently and it has been bothering me for whatever reason." On the third time, the nerves were gone. Plus, it was Kate, who has proven to simply be sweet and kind unconditionally. "He's actually—He's my ex. I wanna talk to him, maybe it'll help? What do you think? Or, just do what Chloe said and just ignore it?"

"If you think it helps to speak up and get it out of your heart and mind, then you should absolutely talk about it. It hurts to just keep to yourself, so… you should try to find him and talk it out." She sounded hesitant near the end, like even she couldn't believe she was saying it. "Are you ready to?"

"I—" I felt my breath become shaky. I gulped hard, getting the sadness down, "I might be? Hell, if I don't do it, then when will I?"

"If you're completely sure you're ready, then I believe in you. Would you like me to come along to help you?"

"Thanks, but… I can do it. I just have to believe in me like you do."

Turns out, hearing her voice made my headache go away.