"Tell me how you're feeling." My therapist looked at me dead in my eyes.

"Right now or in general?" I asked, feeling tense in front of her.

"Whichever one you're comfortable with."

I'm tired. I had descent sleep for a college student—five hours. After what happened, I'm shocked I got five hours. I'm still anxious from yesterday during the party. I'm upset that Chloe wasn't able to make it to her appointment. I'm still worried about Kate.

"A lot of emotions." I looked towards the desktop desk behind her. "Mostly from the party I went to recently?"

"How was that?"

"It was good at first, but," I cleared my throat as I felt it tighten, "They did this group therapy kind of thing and I freaked out. M-my friend saved me and took me home. Then, I got home to my other friend who's an alcoholic, and something happened…" I had to stop. Repeating the night in my head was too much.

"What did happen?"

"Well, she's a sad drunk, but last night, she was a little more… not violent, but angrier. She was crying and screaming all these things about her girlfriend. I was able to stop her, but my back is killing me. She wasn't able to go to her therapy session today. I wanted to come here because I haven't found time to look for help since I moved. It effected some of my relationships and how I work in school."

"Then, it's certainly a feat for you to come here. Your mental health is very important and this is a very big step forward. I want you to acknowledge that and be proud of yourself. As for your friend, that's also a big responsibility, but you took it on. You have to keep going with that."


The therapy session was what I was used to. Even though I was supposed to trust them with my problems, I was resisting and avoiding my problems. I always forget what I need or want to say; it was the most frustrating part of therapy. I was still feeling a lot of things: grogginess, confusion, irritation, and a lot of back and head pain. I looked around the room until I saw the bathroom door closed with the light showing through the cracks. I heard Chloe inside, cursing and vomiting, along with some groans after said-vomiting.

The door opened, revealing Chloe, who was holding a glass of water and a bottle of pills. She could barely walk, her eyes were squinting, and her movement was so stiff.

"Chloe?" I still felt afraid of her. My back was especially hurting from what happened.

"That's me." Her voice was still raspy. "Don't wear it out."

I sighed in relief. Relieved with her being semi-okay and was, at the very least, alive. She sat down next to me, groaning as she attempted to sit slowly, only to fall down onto her seat.

"Max, I feel so shitty." She cleared her throat. Before I could reply, she spoke again, "Not just because of how much I drank. I can't believe I'm still alive. I feel so shitty for losing my damn mind."

"Chloe, we live together. You take care of me and I take care of you. I've taken care of you many times before and I'll keep doing that until I die."

"I don't even remember what I did. Don't tell me I did something fucking stupid."

"You did the stain on the wall. You threw it at me."

"Are you fucking kid—"

"You pushed me to the ground. You were crying, yet so angry. When you spoke, you would hit my back against the floor. It kinda hurts, to be honest."

"Fuck, Maxper, that's—I fucking hate myself."

"Don't say that. I'm just glad you're here."

"I wish I remembered what Rachel said, if she said anything at all."

"Did you check your phone?"

"I can't see shit right now, so I can't."

"I'll check for you."

I stood up and she slid to the side, lying down on her side. I went into the room, reminded of the night from the stain to my laptop on the floor, and grabbed her phone from the bed. I had to pause as the smell got to me. There were glass bottles and beer cans in the room still, covering the whole room in its bitter smell like a shitty air freshener. I had to leave before I was going to become secondhand drunk.

Rache: I hate how possessive I was of you. Scratch that, am of you. I want to take the blame for leaving. Because of me, we have to be apart. I really wanted to be mad at you when Max said you were drunk. I didn't want you to think I hated you.

Rache: I didn't want my anger management teacher to see me like that either.

Rache: It's okay to not be able to do it right away. I'm not upset. Please stay strong, I know you can do it. I'm having a hard time too, but we're doing this together. I'm sorry for losing my cool before. Love you.

I smiled at the screen. She sent it recently, not even ten minutes ago. She had to be working now, so Chloe had time to send some back. I was proud of her, both of them, and their willpower showed.

I went back into the room and gave her phone back. "Rachel left you some texts."

"Thank you." She looked about ready to pass out again. "Fuck…"

"I'm gonna call Dana. You should stay home, take the bed, and sleep it all off." I left her as she groaned again.

Now I felt like the mom. I was calling her work at HUE, along with Dana directly to talk about the good news about Juliet. I was giddy at the thought of her excitement, wanting to see her best friend again. I waited as it rang a couple of times, before she answered with loud music in the background.

"Hey Max! What's up?" It was so loud I could barely hear myself think. If I had to work in a place like that every night, my ears would've given out already.

"Uh, hey, Dana! I'm just calling to say Chloe won't be going to work. Well, duh, but I do want to come by later tonight."

"Why? Is it bad? Don't tell me it's bad!"

"It's not! It's good news I promise. It has nothing to do with Chloe."

"Alright, I'm trusting you! See you soon!"


Kate: Max, is everything alright?

Me: Yeah, it was about Chloe, but everything's cool now. Sorry for making you worry.

Kate: It's fine. Do you want to meet at the library tomorrow? In the morning, I'll bring coffee. My treat. She added a smiley face at the end of her text.

Me: Sounds great. I smiled, happy she wanted to see me.

When the sun was going down, I pushed my pride aside, and took a bus out to HUE. I put Chloe back into bed and left, with plenty to think about. Okay, this is the first official day on our road to getting healthier. Chloe will be sober, I will continue my journey to good mental health, Rachel will control her anger, and Kate… I dunno. Kate will be honest? Does she not trust me? Was it too much information to learn? Does she feel as though it'll drive me away or make me think differently of her?

When I arrived at HUE, the two bouncers recognized who I was and let me in right away. I would call it the "Rachel Effect": you get anything you want, no questions asked. I felt my anxiety rising. I had to ignore it; I was meeting Dana.

"Max!" Dana called out to me as she strutted through the crowd. She hugged me, "So, what's the good news?"

"You're gonna want to sit down for this." I chuckled. She raised her brow, but she obliged, taking me to the bar, where someone else was working behind the counter.

"Okay, now will you tell me your good news?"

"Yup! So, I remember you bringing up Juliet and how you guys just stopped talking." I felt my smile growing bigger. "And guess what?"

"What?" She beamed. I could see in the white and blue lights that she was as happy as I expected her to be. It was like her entire being was sparkling.

"She's here! She goes to my school!"

"Oh, my god! I missed her so much. You talked to her?"

"Oh, er, no? I saw her at the party, but uh… I might've had an attack and I couldn't go and talk to her."

"That' fine, Max. I'm happy knowing she's here! Crazy how I mentioned her and she just happens to show up!" She was so filled with joy, it was rubbing off on me. "Please let me know once you talk to her!"

In that moment, I had a trick up my sleeve. I really wanted them to meet by chance and, since I wasn't fate or God or whatever controls the world, that was going to be near impossible. I nodded, but my gears were running.

"Speaking of that party, how was being with Kate again? Was it weird or anything?"

"I dunno, it feels normal, yet kinda different? She helped me leave the party, even hugged me and helped me to her place, but other than that, I feel like there's something wrong. Maybe it's just me."

"How so?"

"Like… there was a wall between us now. Almost like a glass wall?"

It sounded deep and profound, but I really wasn't sure where I was going with that. But, all I knew was that there was detachment again. Dana nodded though, like she understood.

"Don't pressure her or maybe don't bring it up? Feelings are a lot, I wouldn't blame her if she was confused and upset. I'm sure she's more upset at herself than you."

"Maybe…" I shrugged, dropping my shoulders. "Relationships are difficult."

"Tell me about it." Dana groaned.