I woke up in the morning still resting against a warm body. I hugged it closer and tighter, not wanting to be awake.

"Jesus, Max, hold on any tighter and I'll die from lack of oxygen." That was not Kate's voice. My whole body shot back and my head looked up towards the voice, meeting blue eyes, not-really-blue hair, and an impressed grin.

"How did you get here?" I let go right away. I started to look around and, turns out, I was somehow in the living room, squished against Chloe. It was still Kate's apartment, though. So, really, how did I get there?

"Kate went to church. She woke me up about it," she stated, "And I didn't want you to wake up scared, so like a best friend would, I dragged you out of bed and kept Kate's space warm."

"Thanks, you big softie." I got out of her embrace and sat on the couch. She did the same, still glued to her phone.

"I saw Victoria leave too, so it's just us." She said. "And, I have a big plan for today."

"Oh," I cooed and grabbed a fluffy, white pillow from behind me and hugged it, "What is this big plan, oh wise one?"

"Dana told me we could totally hit up her boyfriend's tattoo shop today. It's near your school, that fucking blew my mind. She wanted to thank you for bringing her and Juliet together again and said she'll pay for all of it."

"Wowser, really? I don't know if I want her to pay for it..."

It sounded very nice of her and I was excited for a second, but I always thought Chloe or Rachel would be the one paying for my first ink. So, I almost felt guilty Dana wanted to pay for it instead.

"Come on, it'll be hella fun. You're getting your first tattoo and I'll be getting one with you. You know, so you don't puss out?"

"You finally thought of one?"

"Yep, but I'm not saying shit about it until after I get it. Do you want to come back here for one more night or do you want to head home?"

"Maybe since you decided today to get one..." I really wanted to stay over, just one more night, but we should go home so we could be in pain and suffer in our own place. "We should just go home again after."

"So you're pulling through with it? No bullshit? I can call and make the appointment official for tonight?"

I took one deep breath and with a confident voice, "Yes."

"Fuck yeah, show-me-the-car-Max. I'll be with you when you do. I'll even get mine first, so you could see it."

"No, I think I should go first just to get it over with."

"Good choice. You'll be okay, Max." Chloe then stood up and looked down the hallway. Specifically, Victoria's room. "We should totally break into that shit."

"What? Chloe, no, why—"

"Did you not hear me annoying the shit out of her? God, that was hella funny to do. But, she said something like, "Don't follow me, you punk creep. I have a party to set up.'" Chloe had put on a higher-pitched voice as she recited what Victoria said. I had to assume she was impersonating her but I couldn't help but laugh at it, because it sounded nothing like her. She went back to her normal voice, "Come on! Be my lookout and I'll pick the lock."

I sighed and let my head fall back. I just woke up. "Okay, fine."

Chloe hopped in joy and ran to Victoria's door. It seemed to be a plan she already had, since she had a paperclip ready in her pocket. I stood in front of her, my back in her direction, watching the front door for Kate or Victoria. I could hear Chloe jiggling the doorknob behind me, trying desperately to unlock it and get it opened once and for all.

"What the hell were you doing that made Victoria freak out that much?" I asked her as I leaned against the wall.

"Oh, you know, existing." She said. "Every time she came out of her damn room, my ass went ahead and messed with anything she got in her bathroom. I love to fuck with people and I'm just getting started." She made a grunting sound, "I'm in!"

I turned around and saw that Victoria's door was opened without a trace of it ever being tampered with. It was impressive yet slightly terrifying to know that Chloe somehow got better at picking locks. It only proved to me that Chloe will never stop surprising me.

"Right this way, your majesty." She said, flatly, while directing her arms into the room.

"Why, thank you." I walked into the room and was more... disappointed? More than shocked, for sure. White room, big ass portraits of herself, fancy expensive technology, and, lastly, one anime figurine on her table. It was the first one I saw, but on another table, the black bedside one, was a whole plethora of chibi characters of movies and shows she liked. I never took her to be the "nerdy" type, but she clearly loved anime. I recognized the first, being from that movie, Ghost in the Shell, and it was more realistic than the other ones.

She had three, floor-to-ceiling portraits of herself at a formal event, the beach, and just herself being herself hanging above another black couch. Another strange, but not surprising feature in her room was the perfect collage of photos next to her door of, not only herself again, but friends, family members, celebrities, and maybe some romantic interests. Of course, her queen-sized bed somehow fit in the tiny room, with a silky set of covers. Everything in the room felt so her.

"Does she need to see herself all the time?" Chloe grumbled. I wasn't sure if she was referring to the pictures or the huge fucking mirror next to the collage. I was willing to bet she was talking about both.

"Maybe she loves herself." I shrugged.

"Or insecure as fuck."

"We should get out then." I turned back to the door and stride out, nervously checking the front door again. It was still just us. "Before she kicks us out of the apartment for good."

"Whatever, but fine. Since you let me break in." She locked the door again from the other side and closed it behind her. "I have another hella crazy idea."

"You're just full of ideas, aren't you?"

"Life's boring when you do the same shit." Chloe fell back on the living room couch again, making a "thump" sound with her whole body. "Kate should come along with us."

"She kinda has to already," I sat next to her, replying to her with a smile. "She drew my tattoo design."

"You must really like her if you want her art on you forever."

"Didn't Rachel get a tattoo for you?" I reminded smugly. Ah, yes, Rachel went on for an eternity about how she got a star on her wrist just for Chloe. It was some promise for them to get out of Arcadia Bay when they could. Some promises were worth keeping, but that kind of commitment was a whole other level.

Chloe hummed, "That's hella different and you know it."

"How so, Chloe? I'm dying to find out."

It seemed a cat got her tongue. She snickered and messed with my hair. "Since when did you become a smart ass?"

"Ever since I met you again." I smirked at her.

The front door started to move and make some noises, eventually opening to reveal Kate in her formal wear and clutching a Bible to her chest. She almost seemed... unsettled. Not like she was running away from something or someone, but like she saw something she wasn't supposed to see. Or, hear something she wasn't supposed to hear. I was concerned and looked on with worry; Chloe had the same worried look too.

"Hey Kate," I greeted as lightly as I could. "How was mass today?"

"It was fascinating." Her mood changed slightly, but I could tell in her eyes, low and the bright hazel became a dim brown, she was hiding something. "The sermon was about how we always miss people we love and how we should never let communication dwindle over time. Comforting, right?"

First, it was the question she asked about happiness. Next, her words were not matching the forced smile on her face. I wanted to ask, but she was obviously uncomfortable and almost look like she could barely stand. I wanted to hold her and ask what was wrong, but I didn't want to offend her at the same time. Maybe she wasn't hurting and she was just tired?

"Kate, you're coming with us to the tattoo shop today? We could walk there, to be honest." Chloe changed the tense atmosphere.

"I've never been." Kate cleared her throat. "I was going with Max anyway to provide the design, so yes, I would love to come along."

"Have you thought about it? Getting tatted?"

"It was never a desire, but it would be a lie if I said that I never thought about it."

"You should consider it. It hurts, but it's hella worth it." She chuckled, yet it sounded so forced out.

"I'll consider a temporary first, before I commit."

"Right," Chloe snapped her fingers. "So, later tonight, meet Dana and her boyfriend, get tatted up, and we'll leave back home. Being here's nice and all, but pain is a "home" thing, I guess."

"I understand. Just let me know when we'll leave, okay?" She walked to her room with her head down.

Something was up and Kate was showing it. I couldn't control myself. I followed her in, grabbing her shoulder. "Kate, is something wrong?"

She turned around and looked at me with a look of disbelief. With a smile, she responded, "No? I'm fine."

That sounded forced too.

"You can tell me, Kate. Whatever is on your mind, I'm here."

Her smile faded, "I know, Max. Just let me think about it for a little longer, okay? I have a lot to do."

I nodded, understanding her, "Okay, I'm here whenever you need me..."


I stayed with Chloe as she continued to listen to Rachel's voicemail and whispering to me once in a while to mention how fucked up Victoria's room was. It wasn't so fucked up but more why does she have so many pictures of herself? I couldn't help but check up on Kate, who simply had her head in her sketchbook and was distracted and busy, that Chloe and I were able to shower and change without her stopping. We even put all our stuff back in Chloe's car trunk, all without Kate turning around to look. I couldn't help but stay worried for her. She seemed even worse than after our Spring Break.

The last thing before we left, because Chloe told me to, was to eat and drink something. Passing out was a possibility and she didn't want that to happen to me.

"Hey, Kate..." I knocked on her door to let her know I was there. "We're gonna go to the place now."

"Oh, uh, coming, let me just fix some things on this." She referred to her book and went back to working. I haven't left until she said, "Okay, done, let's go."

We all walked together to the shop, called Moth Dagger, which was a good seven minutes away by car. We decided to take the short drive, so Chloe and I could just drive home after. Kate sat silently with her sketchbook on her lap, her hands interlocked together on top of it and looking out the window with the same distant look.

Did I do something wrong? I hate to make Kate upset again, but she shouldn't be afraid to tell me things, right? Did my answer last night make her upset? I have to do something about it... But, what do I do?

We parked in front of the shop, small but with a large and eye-catching sign, right next to a corner laundromat. The red-and-blue "Open" sign shined bright in our eyes and a big decal of a moth was plastered on the window. I could even see inside that Dana was already there, talking to two men on the couches by the window.

"Alright, here we go." Chloe got out right away and I followed behind. I stayed back for a little so Kate could catch up. We walked inside, welcomed by light brown wooden floors, about a million different framed pictures of designs and ideas on the walls, and two men, one with two gray-scale sleeves and a long beard and one with one big tat on his neck and glasses.

"Hey you two!" Dana approached and hugged me and Chloe at the same time. "Glad you could make it!"

"I'm hella pumped for this!" Chloe smiled widely.

Dana let go of both of us and looked back at the guy with the neck tattoo. "Alright, babe, they're all yours."

"Alright," he went around the counter and held his hand out, "Hey, nice to meet ya. So, you're getting your first tattoo today, right? Have you eaten or taken any precautions for that?"

We all shook his hand. Looking closer, his neck had a picture of a very-realistic owl in side view. He was also wearing a green plaid shirt and had a comb over hairstyle ever guy nowadays seemed to have. But, he came off pretty friendly and I could tell Dana was very happy with him.

"I did," I nodded. My heart suddenly throbbed and my hands started to shake, causing me to grab my own wrist to stop it. I had to be strong and act grounded.

"Would you like to go first?" He asked. "We'll sit down, talk about what you want, and we'll get you ready."

"U-uh..." I felt myself freeze up. Nevermind, I couldn't go first. I felt like passing out right then and there. "Chloe! You should go first!"

Chloe raised an eyebrow, but nodded, "Yeah, I have pretty small one to get, so it won't take long."

"Sure," he nodded and waved his hand, "Come and sit, let's talk designs then."

Kate had her book open and ready when we sat down, saying, "Max wanted me to draw one out for her. Here's what she wants."

She handed her book over and he looked impressed, "Your attention to detail is amazing. You go to that art school, don't you?"

"We both do. Max is more of a photographer, though."

"Nice! So, for you," he redirected to me, "Since it's your first, would you mind multiple sessions with me? It's a big piece and I wouldn't want you to jump in."

"No, I would love to do that. To finish it in stages." I answered. "It's going on my right back of my shoulder, if that makes sense."

"Ah, right on the shoulder blade." He smiled as he returned Kate's book. "What about you, Chloe, was it?"

"Yeah, um, I looked into getting another sleeve for my left arm. But then, I thought about one thing that I wanted and it'll be the only thing on it. So, just a star on my wrist." She pointed on her arm where she specifically wanted it and, suspiciously, it was the same spot Rachel happens to have her own star tattoo.

"Alright, sounds good to me," He clapped his hands together, "Chloe, you first then."

They walked off to one of the four black reclining chairs in the shop, leaving me and Kate on the couch. We could hear Chloe and him joking around with each other as he started to set up his tools around him.

"How are you feeling, Max?" Kate placed her hand on my shoulder.

"A little scared?" I cleared my throat. "I can do it. I got this. I'll just focus on anything else but hundreds of needles stabbing me."

"You'll do great."

Dana had come around and sat next to me, "You'll be fine! I'll hold your hand if you want."

"Thanks, but Kate and Chloe have that covered." I chuckled. "Are you sure you're okay with paying for this?"

"I'm sure! I'm so happy that you brought Juliet and I back together, so let me handle the money part." She pulled me into another hug. "Can't I just do something nice for an awesome friend?"

I finally gave in to her, "Fine, fine. You win, Dana."

"Glad you finally see it my way." She let go of me and sat normally again. "You got this, Max! Chloe looks like she's already done."

I looked over and Chloe was walking over again with saran wrap around her wrist. She said with a smile, "Your turn, Max! He'll get a stencil ready, so just sit over there and try to relax." She held her other hand. I grabbed it and she dragged me all the way to the same chair she was just in.

"That didn't take long at all." I said with a nervous chuckle.

"It was nothing compared to this shit." She referred to her sleeve. "I'm going to stay by your side, so if you pass out... and Rachel wanted a video."

"Wait, like, video chat?"

"I asked and she said she needs to sleep for an interview thing tomorrow."

"Great, she's going to wake up to me crying."

"Maybe, but it's okay! It'll be over before you know it so suck it up buttercup!"

I had to sit on a different chair, since my stomach had to be pressed against it and my cheek rested against the headrest thing. Taking off my shirt, I was both embarrassed and a little cold. Little to no warning, Chloe unhooked my bra and I was forced to stay in that position to not accidentally reveal myself. Kate seemed to have disappeared, but I was sure she was just working with the artist on the outline.

"This is it, Max." Chloe remarked with joy.

"Yup," I forced a laugh. "You're gonna leave once you get your video, aren't you?"

She scoffed, hella offended, "I fuck around with people, but you're my best friend! I won't leave, promise."

I let out a deep exhale as I pressed forehead against the leather chair. There was another peptalk going through my head, making myself as confident as possible before it started.

You got this, Max. This is something you really wanted for a while! It'll be over before I know it...

However, no matter how ready I thought I was, once I saw him and Kate again, my body was instantly tense and every relaxed muscle in my body contracted and frozen in place. My mouth even started to water, like I was getting ready to barf my organs out. Hell, maybe my skeleton and soul too!

"Alright, Max," he started as he sat down and put blue gloves on. "Are you ready?"

I nodded and gripped the chair I was on, head down, and eyebrows furrowed together. I could feel him cleaning the area where my tattoo will go, along with a piece of paper being pressed against it and slowly peeling it off.

"This is gonna look fucking awesome." He praised.

"You'll look so badass, Bat-Max." Chloe awed.

"That looks so cool!" Dana had come over and watch me cry too, it seemed.

"Okay," he continued, "I'm gonna start. Just let me know when it's hurting, 'kay?"

I nodded rapidly. I wanted it over already!

I heard the whirring and buzzing sound of the tattoo gun and, for the first minute, it wasn't so bad. There was discomfort, but I was practically digging my nails into the chair. Then, the pain kicked in. Like a cat that just won't stop scratching you. It felt like that pain was lasting forever and it was like getting deep scratches continuously. I could feel that the shape of the doe and the camera was there, but the little flowers hurt way fucking more.

The pain then lead to a stinging one, as he was running the gun against my shoulder blade. I was clenching my teeth together and held my tears in, deciding now I didn't want to give everyone the satisfaction of my pain.

"You're doing hella good, Max." Chloe said.

I reached my hand out aimlessly, "I need someone's hand, anyone's!"

"I got you, dude!" Chloe exclaimed and grabbed my hand. All my strength seemed to go to it as I squeezed the life out of hers. "He's almost done."

"Fuck!" I couldn't help but get that out, at least. It was forced through my teeth, but I sucked in a whole breath of air as this went on for another half hour.

"Okay, Max," he said as he turned his tattoo gun off and wiped a paper towel on my back over my fresh and kinda wounded ink. "You're officially tatted."

I finally lifted my head again, the shop's lights burned into my pupils and I was more dazed than anything. I felt like I was on a high of some kind, like the ink had already sunk into my brain.

"It looks fucking sick, dude." Chloe was almost happier than me; she even had a little bounce in her step.

"It looks amazing, Max." Kate smiled at me.

"You did great!" Dana rubbed my back to comfort me. She must know that my back feels like it was on fire. It changed into burning, tender sensation.

Between this chair and the one on the other side of the room was a full-length mirror from floor to ceiling. I got up, holding my bra to my chest and with the help of Chloe, Kate, and Dana holding me steady, and was able to admire the lineart he started. It was exact to Kate's design and I couldn't see a single flaw in it.

"Holy shit..." was all I could mutter.

After wrapping myself in saran wrap and getting my shirt back on, Dana went ahead and paid for our tattoos in full and even told Kate if she wanted one, she'll pay for that too. She politely declined, but said she'll think about it.

"Hope you two will heal fast." Kate wished us before we parted ways.

"Thanks, Kate. I'll text you when we're home, okay?" I weakly hugged her and she did back, cautiously placing her hand on my lower back. We split and she waved one last time before turning and walking home.


During the car ride, I had to sit in an odd position to keep my tattoo from pressing against the seat. Chloe kept talking about how "hella awesome" I was and how well I got through. I was only half-listening, but I quietly thanked her.

Chloe insisted on carrying all our backpacks up and I'll stay in our apartment, so she gave me the house key and I rode the elevator up.

I was never as happy as now to see this place. The apartment made me feel bad, even after all this time when Chloe has been able to pay it and all its bills. But now, I truly felt like I was home.

I sat down on the couch arm rest as I sent a quick text to Kate that we were home. Me: Hey, just got back.

Chloe had somehow brought all our bags up in one trip and immediately threw them on the couch.

"We should leave the wrap on for another hour before we start caring for it." Chloe fell back on the couch and groaned. "What do you think? Like, your first tattoo experience."

"It's an experience." I chuckled. "But, I kinda want another one now. I dunno what, but it's definitely a possibility."

"They're hella addicting, I swear." She then looked at her own through the bandage the shop gave us. "Says me, who said I won't get any other tat on this arm."

"You should tell me about that." I said as I turned towards her, placing my feet on the couch cushion.

My phone vibrated, so I checked it and saw Kate text back, Good, how's your back?

Me: Still feels all tingly and still kinda burns.

"Maybe after we take care of them."


"Okay, time to care for our new ink, Max." She announced as she walked into our bathroom and ran the bath's water. I only followed her mutely as I took my shirt off again, waiting for further instruction.

I watched as Chloe ran the water hot and unwrap the clear plastic from her wrist. Excess black ink started to wash away from her wrist, showing the black-lined star underneath. I should've known that she'll get one that involved Rachel. She continued to use soap and wash it under the hot water until she turned it off again and grabbed a paper towel and started to pat it to dry. Then, she opened the cabinet under the sink and took the little circle container labeled Tattoo Goo and applied the green ointment onto her new tattoo.

She then repeated the same thing with me. She helped me get the wrap off me, washing my back with soap with hot water, patting my tattoo dry, and putting the same green goo on me.

We then got ready for bed. I was stuck in shorts and pink bra with one bra strap off to give my tattoo air to breathe, and lied down on my stomach. I felt exhausted from breaking into Victoria's room, worrying about Kate, and from hours of just needles getting into my back and shoulder blade. I deeply sighed as sleep started to make my eyelids heavy.

Chloe got into bed, waking me up again as she bounced onto it. Lucky her, she was able to lie down on her back.

"Now you should tell me why you got that." I scooted closer to her.

She smirked, "Rachel, duh."

"I know that, but I need more than just her name."

"Well, Rachel got her star tattoo because we promised to get out of Arcadia Bay together. Along with her bracelet for a while and the kiss, obviously. I drew it on her with a black marker and then she got it permanently on her and... that was history, I guess. It was something she committed to after all that stupid shit she went through... You should have seen it, Max. I wanted it too because of that and... we had this talk one time. We were gonna leave, but then Rachel found out her mom wasn't her real mom." Her voice started to waver.

Chloe and Rachel have brought it up to me. They never got into it in full detail, but I knew enough to make a timeline of their crazy time together. Meeting Rachel at a Firewalk concert, skipping school together, being in a play together, kissing at night, meeting each other's parents, both getting nearly killed by crazy drug dealers, meeting Rachel's real mom, and the rest was just bliss. Then add me into the mix and now it was "two moms and their daughter."

"Rachel had this nightlight thing that made stars and we talked about how much she loved them." Chloe sighed wistfully. "She loved that they remind us how there's always so much more out there. And I dreamed of stars... all the time. I remember being in her bed and holding her... She cried so much, but I was there and she felt safe. We felt safe. I helped her find her mom, Sera, but it was the most wild shit."

She cleared her throat, continuing, "I don't want to talk about that shit right now. Her star was to promise that we'll leave Arcadia Bay together. Mine is to promise to just... never leave."

Rachel didn't talk about her family much. She never talked about her dad and not-mom, anyway. But, Sera, her real mom, was a true figure in Rachel's life. Rachel talked about her and how she went to rehab so she could finally be in her life again. That was probably why Rachel stopped doing drugs and alcohol when her career started up; To follow her mom's steps and strength. Maybe for herself, for her mom, but most likely for Chloe. She still went by Rachel Amber, though because, her dad did shape her into who she was, nonetheless.

I was going to say something, but Chloe had turned away to listen to her phone, which was a different voicemail. It was clearly Rachel's voice. I could hear it:

"All I ever say anymore is I love you. It's enough for me to say and to hear from you. My manager says I'll be able to go back soon after I do some auditions for movies and do more classes to not beat the shit out of strangers." She laughed, light and amused. "I can't wait to see you. I have so much to tell you when I get there. Can't wait to see your new tat. I just want to... hug you? I feel hella cheesy for saying that. Anyway, I had some extra time and decided to send you another voicemail to let you know how I am. Miss you a lot."

Chloe then turned her head to me, slow and eyes starting to feel with tears, but they looked more happy than sad.

"Don't look at me," I shook my head, rubbing against my pillow. "Send one back."

Chloe cleared her throat and tried to call Rachel. Of course, it went to voicemail and so she started her message: "Hey, Rachel. I just got home from the ink session. Sorry if the video of Max wasn't as funny as you thought. I can't wait to see you too. I've been sober for days now... Are you proud of me? We're hella cheesy now, but hugging is something I want, too. That would be enough right now. Miss you more. Love you."

She ended the voicemail and tossed her phone between us, "Max?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm whipped as fuck." She said with a giggle.

"Um, I think the word is "married.'" I teased and then heard my phone on my computer desk vibrating. I got up and checked it. Somehow, the time was midnight and Kate had gone back to her old habits and called me. I answered it as I left the bedroom, hearing Chloe listening to a voicemail behind me.

"Kate? Are you okay?" I asked, rubbing the back of my neck.

"I'm sorry to bother you at such a late hour." She sounded like she just woke up.

"It's fine, really. What's up?"

"I just had another question to ask you."

"Fire away." My heart was pounding in my chest as I waited for her to ask.

"What would you do... if your memory was foggy? Like, you remember as one thing, but then it suddenly changes? Or, there's no recalling it at all? It's just empty space."

"What brought this on?" I countered. I needed a little more context than that.

"I asked you that question and earlier today, before I got back, talking about all of the things about connection and keeping relationships and… I decided to call her again. I'm having weird flashbacks. Please answer my questions."

"Then, talk it out? Go to your therapist or do you want to tell me first? What did she say? What happened?" I can't stay calm anymore. I can't. Forget the pain, forget the kiss, forget breaking into Victoria's room.

"I don't know if she loved me... or hurt me, this whole time."