Mixed Signals

By: PhoenixJustice

Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer is property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc. I only own this story and make no profit from this.

Warning: Rated M for future graphic sexual content, language, etc.

Pairing: Spike/Buffy Summers (main), Willow/Tara, etc.

Setting: Bargaining pt 2/Afterlife, with spoilers up to Season 11 of Buffy, Season 11 of Angel and anything inbetween.

Summary: Two people who were never supposed to meet. She had seen everything, up to the Dragon that destroyed everything she loved. He had only the lasting memory of her words of love before he burned to cinders. Could they bridge the gap between them?

A/N: Flashbacks in italics.

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Chapter Four - Breakfast, but no Bed

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If she had been the Buffy of old, before the stuff with the First and after, she'd have called this a walk of shame and would have done what she could to separate herself from Spike, making all the excuses in the world to her friends, her family.

As it was now, however, she isn't disgusted or trying to hide herself. She felt a bit sheepish, but that was because she had been caught without being able to explain herself. She wouldn't be full of excuses now, like she would have been before, but she had wanted the time to try and explain things to her friends. They were, after all, not the ones who had continued to be around Spike (and her, then Spike and her as a true couple) after the fall of Sunnydale. They didn't know the things that their future counterparts did, and had learned.

Spike's quiet they make their way down the stairs, leaving her to give him furtive glances here and there. He had gotten his shoes and the like on quickly after Dawn's call. She wanted to comfort him somehow, but she wasn't sure how. If only things could be easy, where she could be sure where she stood. She knew that he was in love with her and she loved him, but did she love him?

It might be a small distinction, but to her it felt like a very important one. It was very difficult to look at him now and be reminded of the man she had left behind. This was a Spike capable of many things, to be certain, but he hadn't went through the things that the Spike she had been in love with had, with or without her.

It almost felt like a betrayal to his memory to even look at Spike, even if they were the same person. Even if this Spike was merely a Spike from a younger point in time. This Spike hadn't fought through darkness and pain to gain a soul, hadn't fought beside her against Zompires and new vampires, hadn't struggled with her in the magical internment camp, hadn't dealt with the Dragon or the Wannabe Witch who controlled it. Or-

She closes her eyes. But he was Spike. And, confusing feelings within her or not, she wouldn't let himself feel like he was worthless or less than somehow, like she had once upon a time made him feel. She stops on the second to last step as he steps on the last step to the first floor and stops him with a hand to his shoulder.

He pauses, looking at her with brows furrowed. "Slayer?"

"I'm not ashamed, Spike." She says. She can see him visibly swallow at that. "That isn't why I was anxious. It's just all...still new to me, you know? Being back here." Boy was it. "And I don't want them to misunderstand."

His jaw clenches. "Right. I got it, Slayer. It-"

"No," She says, cutting him off. "No anger, Spike. I told you I wasn't ashamed and I'm not. You were...you were there for me when I needed it. Thank you." He seems to relax at that. "I just mean that, well, you know how my friends can be. And I don't want them thinking you were taking advantage of me in my state or something."

"Was I?" Spike asks in a whisper, frowning. She wasn't sure if it was rhetorical or not.

"No." She assures him. Her hand moves from his shoulder to-after a moment of thought-touch the side of his face. He looks at her with wide eyes, which makes her smile. "Like I said, thank you. I needed that. I needed to not be alone."

She moves her hand and starts to head down to the last step when he is the one to stop her this time.

"Anytime, Slayer." Spike pauses. "Buffy."

She smiles. "Good. Glad that's settled. So-" She stiffens a bit, in surprise, when she feels a cool hand touch her face briefly, but he's down the stairs and already making his way to the kitchen before she can even react (one of the uses of his vampiric speed she hadn't seen from Spike in awhile.)

"I mean, yeah, it can be scary and stressful. But I do pretty good with scary and stressful, don't I?"

"I'll give you that."

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The smell of artificial syrup hits his nose before he even makes it into the kitchen, when he does make it in, with Buffy shortly behind, he sees Dawn cheerfully making pancakes alongside Glinda. Well, mostly Glinda making them with Dawn putting plates together for everyone, but the Bit still seemed happy nonetheless.

Red was sat at the kitchen island, looking deep in thought until he gets in there. She sits up straighter and looks at him. They look at each other for a few scant seconds that somehow felt like much longer to him (it had been awhile since he had been so sized up by any of the Scoobies) before she turns away, looking over at Glinda.

He blinks, surprised. He had been certain she'd have said something to him then (even if Glinda was too kindhearted to, and Dawn the kind who didn't care. Or at least, this Dawn. She hadn't yet come to mistrust him because he hadn't attempted...what had been attempted to Buffy. At least that was no longer something that could ever happen. Even if he must live with that thought the rest of his days, at least Buffy could be free of that sort of burden in her mind.)

"Just in time!" Glinda says, with a soft enthusiasm he hadn't expected from her. She had been one of the things he had come to miss, as while she hadn't been his best friend, she had been an understanding sort. That was something he could appreciate. Now he'd have to do his best to make sure scum like Warren Meers couldn't ever be in the same vicinity with someone as pure as her. "I made extra; Dawn seemed to think that we didn't have enough."

"That's cause we didn't!" Dawn says, leaning against the sink as she watched Glinda work. "I mean between Black Hole Buffy and Bottomless Pit Spike we needed more."

"Hey, I resent that remark!" Buffy exclaims behind him. He very studiously does not turn to look at her (although he appreciated her words on the stairs more than he could say, he still felt hesitant. If not in worry of her sincerity, than because as much as he wanted to help her, he couldn't help but feel on shaky ground. He had just come back to this time and his head seemed to be feeling that still.) "I'm the Slayer! We burn off a lot of energy!"

He very much doesn't look at her now, all too keenly-and instantly-reminded of the hundred and one ways he and the Slayer had burned off energy together.

"And 'm not a bottomless pit." Spike drawls, as he takes a seat at the island. "Unless we're talking those onion blossom things, mind."

"Eww, you can keep those to yourself." He finally glances over at Buffy as she says that, as she takes a seat next to him. Her nose was cutely scrunched up and the thought comes unbidden that he wanted to kiss her. "Wow, though. That really is a lot of pancakes."

"Wow, move over, Sherlock Holmes."

"Sarcasm doesn't suit you, luv."

He winces, rubbing at his head.

"...you okay, Spike?" Red asks.

He looks up and sees them all looking at him in equal concern. Which was certainly a new feeling. At least for him to have them of this time looking at him in open concern (for his wellbeing and not from them worrying he would turn on them first thing or something.)

Buffy's brow furrows and she reaches to touch the side of his head. "Are you okay?" She asks in concern.

He feels his breath catch, though it was something he had no need of. She was either oblivious of the stares or didn't care-the latter was the one that was most surprising but also seemed most true.

"I'm fine." He says, trying to reassure her. "Just trying to wake up still, I suppose. You lot should remember I don't run the usual hours. M' a vampire." He sits a little straighter, trying to put on a cocky look that he didn't entirely feel. It seems to do the trick for the most part, however, as Red nods, the Bit snorts and Glinda goes back to her pancakes. Buffy still looks at him, a frown between her eyes. "I'm fine, Buffy. I promise."

That seems to reassure her more and she finally nods, her head turning as Dawn lays down a sizable stack of pancakes down in front of her.

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"Oh crap, I gotta go or I'll be late!" Dawn exclaims, moving quickly to grab her bookbag where she had set it against the table and starts to hurry out the kitchen.

"Wait!" Buffy exclaims. "I mean, uh, what about lunch?"

"Already got it! Love you guys! Gottagobye!" The front door closes behind Dawn, leaving the others in the kitchen, Buffy looking bemusedly at everybody.

"I made it for her." Tara says. "If you wanted to-"

"Oh, no worries!" Buffy exclaims. "Feel more than free to; I was just afraid she was taking off without some. You make much better food than I do."

"You make good mac n' cheese though." Spike says, nonchalantly, as he takes another bite of his pancakes. Between them both, they probably already had several of the breakfast items, but like she had said; Slayers burned off a lot of energy. She very much does not look at Spike as she thinks this (she was already confused enough. Last thing she needed was to think of sexy fun times with him. Not that was a bad thing to think, but...agh!)

She stops as she processes that. It was a comment that seems to fly by Tara and Willow's heads but not hers. She hadn't ever cooked anything while he had been around. Not this Spike, anyhow.

"And how do you know that?" She tries to ask in a casual tone.

He visibly freezes, before taking another bite of pancakes. "Uh, Bit told me before. One of the few things she said didn't taste like paste."

"Well as much as I love her vote of confidence of that," She says drily. "I'd like to know why my culinary talents, or lackthereof, were a topic of conversation."

"Well you did tell him to stop telling her tales of his past, didn't you?" Willow points out. She had already finished her food and was sitting, seemingly contently (despite Spike's presence) next to Tara.

"I did." Buffy accede. She remembered that much, though it had been a bit of time ago for her now. Still, the ease at which he said...no, the fact that he had even said that at all. While she knew the Spike of this time had previously went through her house and the like, she was pretty sure she'd have noticed if he had been around when she cooked something.

Or maybe not? She hadn't known he had been rifling through her house until she had literally bumped into him, after all. Who knew. Something about the thing felt a bit fishy, but she lets it go for now.

"Anyway," Buffy continues. "Giles is coming back home soon, right?"

"Yep," Willow says, with a smile. "I doubt he'll be happy about the million years of plane travel but to have you back? Pretty sure that's the most important thing."

"It is." She could barely hear it with her own Slayer enhanced senses, so she doubted the other two had. Spike...

"Though I don't think Anya will be so happy." Tara jokes. "She had just gotten the store from Mr. Giles, after all."

"You gotta stop calling him Mr. Giles, Tara." Buffy chides. "You're family, remember?"

Tara visibly flushes. "S-Sorry. Still a new thing to me."

Buffy smiles, grabbing her hand and squeezing it briefly before letting it go. "I know. But always remember we're family, okay?" She glances over at Spike and is surprised to catch his eyes (as surprised as he looks.) She looks at him as she continues to speak. "No matter what happens, we'll always be."

"Always." Spike whispers.

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I hope you enjoyed this!

Let me know what you thought!

-PhoenixJustice