Mixed Signals

By: PhoenixJustice

Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer is property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc. I only own this story and make no profit from this.

Warning: Rated M for sexual content, language, etc.

Pairing: Spike/Buffy Summers (main), Willow/Tara, etc.

Setting: Bargaining pt 2/Afterlife, with spoilers up to Season 11 of Buffy, Season 11 of Angel and anything inbetween.

Summary: Two people who were never supposed to meet. She had seen everything, up to the Dragon that destroyed everything she loved. He had only the lasting memory of her words of love before he burned to cinders. Could they bridge the gap between them?

A/N: Flashbacks in italics.

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Chapter Five - Remembering the Fire

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She was a bit nervous to see Giles again. She had managed to patch things up with him in her original time, in the future of this timeline, after a lot of pain and strife and tears but they had did it and she had felt they had become closer than ever. Much more like a father and daughter team (despite his looks on the outside of looking like a teenager.)

But she had grown a lot since Giles (this Giles) had seen her and part of her didn't want to be a disappointment to him. The other part was worried he'd be a disappointment to her. It had taken her a long time to completely forgive him for working with Robin Wood against Spike like that. This Giles hadn't done that yet but he was capable of it.

And if she was to survive in this old, but new, world, then he, and the others, had to soon realize that Spike meant something to her. Spike was a non-negotiable, being a 'different' Spike or not. He was her world. He had saved her time and again and she had been through too much to even think of losing him again, in any way.

Speaking of Spike... he had yet to leave her side yet today. After breakfast she had gotten dressed and ready to go with the others to the Magic Box and he had been downstairs, all decked out in his duster (and blanket, because of the sun.) He had smiled at her, but almost absently. He seemed to have a lot on his mind. Not that she didn't, because she certainly did, but her curiosity (and ever driven desire to know more) made her wonder what was bothering him.

He had seemed a bit distant during breakfast, in some pain even. What could trouble him so? Was it all due to her resurrection and return? She remembered how he took it the first time and this was not like that. Not really. She and he kept missing each other, for all that he had slept in her bed with her last night. She didn't want these mixed things to keep happening.

After she spoke with Giles, she really needed to talk to Spike.

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For half a second, she could have swore Giles had super strength, with the force in which he hugged her close. She holds back tears as she sees his trail down his face. He only starts to wipe away at them when he finally pulls away from her.

"I'm sorry, my dear." Giles says, removing his glasses from his face and wiping them down.

"I understand. I mean, for once I got to the Magic Box early!" She jokes.

He lets out a bit of a startled laugh at that, putting his glasses back to his face. The others were mysteriously not around the back anymore, having obviously left while she and Giles had looked at each other.

"Yes, well, there is that." He says in a dry, humorous tone, before sobering back up quickly. "Buffy, this is...astounding."

"Astounding and wrong, I know." She says softly.

Giles' eyes widen at that.

"What Willow did," she starts, looking away. "What she and the others did...I know it wasn't right."

"It wasn't...proper," Giles hesitates. "But don't think that I am ungrateful or unhappy you're back. I am more than-" He breaks off, emotion coloring his tone.

She smiles gently at him. "I know, Giles. Believe me, I know."

He looks back at her now. "They told you the particulars of your resurrection?"

She is the one to hesistate now. She hated to lie to him, but she wasn't quite ready to speak her whole truth just yet. So instead she opted for something that was mostly true. "I know. I know what Willow had to do to do it. What they did. It's...something I didn't ask for. But I can understand their thought behind it. Even if...it was wrong."

Something in her tone must have caught his attention, because he focuses on her with a curious look.

"What do you mean?"

She shrugs, looking away again. "They..." She pauses, biting on her lip. "They...I wasn't in Hell, when I was resurrected-" The first time. "-or anywhere near it."

He looks at her confused for a moment before his eyes widen once more. He swears and starts to head towards the front of the store, where they had to be now.

"Those foolish children-"

"They didn't know, Giles."

"They should have!" He insists. "For a Slayer to...for all that you have done for this world. Where else could you have gone?"

She shakes her head. "On paper that sounds good, yes. But remember how it happened when I died Giles-" She ignores his obvious wince and continues. "-I had jumped in a portal where all sorts of Hellspawn and other things were flying out of. We were getting a look at Hell itself, or Hell adjacent. There was no guarantee where I was going to end up. I don't blame them."

"You don't?"

She shakes her head. "I...time has worked differently for me, away from here." She says evasively. Wasn't that an understatement? "It's helped me grow up. You can't understand it now, but believe me when I say that I don't blame them anymore."

"Do they know where you were?" He asks softly.

"No. I don't know if I want to tell them." She confesses. "They'll just feel a lot of extra guilt."

"They should-of all people, I expected Willow to respect the laws of nature the most!"

"She doesn't have a sense of magic that someone like Tara does." Buffy finally says. She was trying to figure out the best way to say it. "She didn't grow up around it. And she didn't have a teacher when she needed it. She needs help to understand it, truly."

Willow's lessening of morals the more she had gotten into magic had nearly killed her-had nearly killed them all at one point. She had gotten better after that, of course, but for awhile there it had been so very difficult to deal with.

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"And why is Spike here?" Giles asks, after a few minutes of them talking about other things. By silent agreement it seemed, they had avoided talking about her having been in Heaven. Not that it was such a touchy subject for her now. She had gotten past that death wish stage of hers, after all, but she was afraid that she might say more than she was ready to about the rest of...well, her. Who she was.

"Well, he's been helping the family since I've been gone, hasn't he?" She says mildly.

Giles looks rather touched at her using the term family to talk about them all, but he still looked a bit pensive.

"Well, yes," He says, a bit reluctantly. "But now that you are back-"

"Now that I'm back," She interrupts. "Things will be different this time around. I'm not going to treat Spike like second class, Giles. And I don't want any of you to either. He helped us against Glory when he didn't have to. He risked his very life to keep the secret of Dawn safe. He helped protect this family when I was dead. When he very literally had nothing to gain from it. He stays, Giles. He's family."

He looks at her astounded. "Buffy, I know that he has...helped, but don't forget about his infatuation with you. It-"

"I haven't. Not one day." She hadn't, even back then when she hadn't wanted to admit just how much she actually liked him. How much she loved him even. She had been blind, to herself even, for a very long time. "And it's not a 'infatuation'. He loves me."

"And just as much..." She swallows hard, not against a tide of shame, but of just the sheer amount of emotion, of love, she was feeling.

"I love him too." She says simply.

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"And why is Spike here?"

He pauses near the doorway. He had been the volunteer to get the Watcher and Slayer and bring them back into the Magic Box proper. Well, more like he had been getting impatient and said he was going to do so. The boy had had a bit of a problem with it, but he had been outvoted by the witches and Anya.

He can only wonder, slightly anxiously, what Buffy might say. Although they had seem to gotten on since her resurrection back (she had let him sleep with her in her bed, even), that was no guarantee as to what she would say to Giles. She had often changed or held back some of herself sometimes, to make them happy (to her own detriment sometimes.)

That had changed more once they had all left Sunnydale, when-

"That was bloody insane, that was. If you hadn't timed it perfectly-"

"But I did. I do everything perfectly."

Smirk. "I'll need to investigate that for myself."

He winces. Left Sunnydale? What the sodding hell was he on about now? When she had left the Scoobies, briefly, maybe, when they had thrown her out. Ugh. He really had to get his head back on straight. This whole business of time travel had thrown him for a loop.

"Well, he's been helping the family since I've been gone, hasn't he?"

He looks back up and starts to listen back in, ignoring the pain running through his head now (he had gotten rather used to it over time, from the chip, after all. Wasn't a great thing to be reminded of that pain though, however.)

"Well, yes," He does his best not to roll his eyes at the tone in the Watcher's voice. "But now that you are back-"

"Now that I'm back,things will be different this time around. I'm not going to treat Spike like second class, Giles. And I don't want any of you to either. He helped us against Glory when he didn't have to. He risked his very life to keep the secret of Dawn safe. He helped protect this family when I was dead. When he very literally had nothing to gain from it. He stays, Giles. He's family."

Why was everything blurring? That...oh. He touches a shaking hand to his eyes. The things she had said, they were everything to him. Everything. Things like the past, the present, the future...what did any of that matter when he was here now and she was here now? In the end...wasn't it just that he was Spike, was William Pratt, and he loved Buffy Summers?

"Buffy, I know that he has...helped, but don't forget about his infatuation with you. It-"

"I haven't. Not one day. And it's not a 'infatuation'. He loves me."

The way she says it so simply, so easily, would take the breath away from anyone, even if they were someone like him who didn't require it.

"And just as much..."

He freezes, eyes wide. Feeling like the world had stopped. There was no way. She couldn't be-

"I love him too."

"I've never regretted it, Buffy. Loving you. Not really. Everything I went through, to get to this place, here and now? I'd do it ten times over to be the man I am, to be worthy of you."

He winces again. What was this? He didn't...

The smell of fire was strong. It was in all of his senses and he was racked with pain. The only comfort this time around in the fire was that he had managed to keep Buffy away. He never wanted to cut it close, not like last time, when Sunnydale was falling around their ears.

He opens up his eyes, coughing, and his eyes widen when he takes in the sight of Buffy running his way, pain and tears in her eyes. He could smell blood. And fire.

"Buffy! Oh god, pet, why did you stay? I'm not worth it! You're-i love you, Buffy." He says, weakly wiping the tears from her face as best he can; a losing effort as she keeps crying. "I know that you know that, but if this is going to be the last time, I want to say it as much as I can. I love you, Buffy. I always will."

"I didn't forget, y'know." She says, tears in her voice, her eyes. She smiles against the shine of tears, of pain, and fire and blood and she's beautiful to him, even then. The greatest love of his life.

"What?" He breathes.

She places her forehead against his. The roar of the Dragon was nearing. The faux-witch, Wise, was nearing them, flames trailing in her wake.

"I love you too."

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He cries out, collapsing to a knee, clutching his head in sheer agony as memories come flooding back. Memories. Memories of the fire in Sunnydale, how he had become Buffy's Champion to save her, to save everyone. Memories of his return, being stuck as a ghost and messing with Angel, becoming corporeal again, of seeing Buffy again, to see she knew he was alive. To being with her...truly being with her.

All of it comes flooding back and it makes him realize that he was from much farther a time than he had thought, that he had remembered.

He remembered.

The door opens and he sees Buffy there. She looks down at him, concern in her eyes. She immediately kneels down, touching his face.

"Oh, Spike...are you okay?"

"Slayer." He whispers.

And collapses.

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A/N: Well this story has ended up being slightly longer than I expected it to lol. It still probably won't be too long, but we'll see!

I hope you enjoyed this!

Let me know what you thought!

-PhoenixJustice