Nine years had passed and there she was again back in Stars Hollow… It was not good but it was not bad either. She didn't know how to feel really… Being with her mother all the time was really nice, but the feeling that she failed somehow in her propose of being a real life journalist… she couldn't get that idea out of her head.
The most understanding of her feelings was Luke, he noticed her frustration when people spoke to her, letting her know that it was a good thing she was back. He offered her the apartment above the diner, for her to live in, he understood how demeaning it could be for a young supposedly successful woman to come back to her mother's house.
She said that she would think about it. She had got to Stars Hallow two days ago and she was still deciding what to do with her life and since Luke was living with her mother the apartment was sitting empty. She needed to figure out what to do next with her life, her work on Washington Post was a good reference letter, especially because she was let go because of budget issues not because of her ability or lack of professionalism, but after the Obama campaign it all seems so promising, the opportunities just keep falling in her lap, and she was not prepared for being out of a job in a blink of an eye, not at all…
She entered Luke's diner with all that stuff in her head and sat at the counter.
"What can I get you?" Luke asked but got no response. "Rory? What can I get you? Rory? Are you here?"
Rory finally noticed that Luke was saying something to her. "What? Sorry Luke, yes I'm here and I will have coffee, of course, a large one please and a blueberry muffin."
"Ok… are you feeling good? … You have a strange look on your face."
"Well all of this is new and I need to figure out what to do with my life you know…" In all these years her relationship with Luke was getting really good. In the beginning he was like her father who wasn't really around but when she left he seemed to get closer to her. It seemed like he understood her better than her mother. Her frustrations and expectations were more simple for him to sense and he got her very quickly, before she noticed he grew from kind of a father to kind of a friend and that was very nice.
One thing he really understood too and her mother didn't even talk about was Jess. Jess visited Luke from time to time, he still lived in Filly and worked in Truncheon Books and had written two more books. Rory secretly bought every different copy of Jess' books every time she found one. They spoke from time to time, when he released one book or when she wrote some article that hit too many tweets, but nothing more than that, mostly Rory knew about Jess by Luke. And she liked to know about him, she really didn't know how things between them could be labeled but Luke always made her smile when he told her that Jess paid a visit or called him to say that something good had happened in the publishing house.
Rory thought Luke secretly always wanted Rory and Jess together and sometimes she thought that's what she always wanted too… But life got in the middle and they never had the opportunity to do anything about that. They were not friends because friends spoke to each other more often than they did but they had some kind of connection because he always knew the right moment to call her.
Since Logan, she only had been with two guys, Jerry and Dean, not Dean Dean, another Dean, and none of them got her where she was supposes to be. Meaning none of them made her really fall in love. She almost got married to the new Dean but sometime along the way they fell apart, they grew distant and simply broke up, knowing that marriage wasn´t a good fit for them. How tricky the universe could be that put in your path a man that has the same name as your first love. For some time she really believed that they were meant to be. Fortunately, they didn't start planning, he just asked her and she said yes and the wall between them began to grow, she knew it was her fault and deep inside she knew that she didn't love him like he loved her and she was the one who began to construct the wall.
After analyzing her life and her choices she decided to stay single for a while. She thought that some time alone would bring some new light on her life. All these years she never admitted to herself that she compared all the men's she dated to Jess, even Logan. And all these years she never admitted to anyone that she sometimes dreamed about having a family with Jess.
She didn't even admit that to herself but here and now she recognized that she missed Jess in her life. He probably was the only one that could have her starting to think about having a life beyond work and friends. Here and now she truly missed Jess and sometimes Luke seemed to know that…
"Mom I need o talk to you," Rory announced, entering the living room.
Luke came out from the kitchen, he already knew what the conversation was going to be about. She had accepted his offer and had decided to live in the diner apartment. Lorelai was not gonna be happy about it so Luke came to the living room to give Rory some support.
Rory spoke low, rubbing her hands over her pants. "I'm going to live in Luke's apartment above the diner, ok?"
Lorelai looked astonished. "What? Why? Why on earth do you want to get far away from me when you have just arrived?"
Rory was already prepared for the drama. She knew her mother too well.
"Rory tell me why?" Lorelai sounded upset or maybe sad.
Luke came closer to Lorelai and hugged her from behind speaking close to her hair. "Let her be Lorelai, she needs space."
Lorelai turned to face Luke and now she looked mad. "From her mother?"
Rory breathed deeply and started speaking without stopping. "Mom I'm just gonna explain this to you once. You know me and you know us, so please try to be normal and understand what I am feeling right now. Think like if this was with you. I just returned home, after being on my own for nine years. By this, I'm accepting my failures and my defeat. I lost my job and for now, I don't really know what to do with my life. I need my space, my privacy and need time to figure out what to do with my life and my time and basically, I need to find me again and for that, I need to be alone for a while and we both know that that is impossible here. So just let me be. OK?"
Lorelai listened in silence with her arms crossed over her chest with some kind of childish attitude. When Rory finished, she opened her mouth to speak but she closed it again. She kept her eyes on her and finally said, "OK! But we see each other every day."
Rory nodded in agreement. She knew that she was going to be mad at her for a while but eventually her mother would accept the circumstances.
They turned their backs on each other and Rory left to pick up her stuff. Luke had said to her that he would take her stuff to the apartment but she needed to collect everything. She didn't unpack almost anything so it would be a pretty easy task.
The apartment looked exactly the same. And suddenly a big storm of emotions and memories hit her right in the chest. Jess' face, Jess' smell, Jess' bed, Jess' couch and some of Jess' stuff. It was all there and she could almost sense him there. Suddenly she missed everything about him. Maybe this decision of living in Luke's apartment was not such a good idea after all. She could see Jess here trying to offering her a soda and begging her to accept avoiding him, making a fool of himself.
She smiled to herself. This place gave her very good memories.
Luckily she was alone and no one saw the goofy smile on her face. She sat on the couch and traveled back to that time. They were just two messed up teenagers that actually loved each other and couldn't handle that.
She never found anyone that she felt connected to like she felt with Jess. They simply spoke the same language and unfortunately for her that was too hard to find. And being here, now, in this place, made all the feeling and memories come back to haunt her.
She started to unpack, first the book box of course. She started to pull them out and place them randomly on Luke's bookcase. When she got to Jess' books she stopped again. Sitting on the floor she started to read one of her favorite passages. She forced herself to close the book and keep unpacking, leaving the book on the floor next to her. But she still kept staring at it for a second. How their lives turned so much. How was Jess a published author of three short novels now and she was out of a job and back in Stars Hollow again? She was alone and living by favor where she and Jess shared so many good moments. Life was a bitch!
Luke came to check on her and offered her some help and coffee of course. He noticed Jess' book on the floor and she noticed that he was looking at it but both kept their silence about that. He showed her some drawers that were empty and that she could use and freed up some more space on the bookcase when he realized the amount of books that she had bring with her. He showed her where the linens were and the bathroom towels and tried to show her the kitchen supplies but she just smiled at him, telling him that she would not need that and that she trusts that she could find enough food in the diner downstairs.
Luke finally picked up the book from the ground and noticed all the notes that were written in the margins. "Jess does this to books too, I don't get it…"
"I really caught the habit from him. We write our thoughts about the story in the margins. It was a big problem when I started returning the library books full of notes." She said with a smirk.
"I never thought that Jess could influence you on anything," Luke said looking through the window.
"More than you think really." Rory blushed a little and Luke noticed.
"He comes here often?" Rory could not believe that she was really asking this but her curiosity took over her and she was feeling strange and nostalgic since she entered the apartment.
"Now and then yes. Avoiding all important dates… You know Jess. But don't worry I believe that he will not pay a visit soon. Last time we spoke he was swamped with work."
"And when was that?" Rory was unstoppable really.
Luke looked at her smiling then he approached the window. "Last week I think… don't worry Rory he probably will not be here for more than a month." Luke said looking closer through the window. "Or not…" And just like that Jess was parking downstairs next to the dinner. Luke went mute.
"Or not what?" Rory asked but Luke didn't answer and kept looking through the window making Rory get up from the place she was placing books and go check what was so fascinating outside.
Luke just pointed to the black Ford pickup that had parked near the diner making Rory question him again. "What?" and then Jess got out of the truck making Rory's heart beat so fast that she could feel it in her head. "Oh!"
Luke looked at her, she was blushing. "Yeah… Oh!"
Rory and Luke keep looking through the window observing Jess' movements.
Luke looked at Rory. "Do you want me to tell him to go?"
She tore her gaze away from the window and from Jess and focused on Luke. "Not at all Luke, no way…"
It was hard to focus on anything but the young awesome man that was picking a small duffel bag from the black Ford pickup outside, but she would never ask Luke for something like that. He was his nephew and this was his place too. But she had to confess she was not at all prepared to meet Jess today. She looked around and realized that she had no place to go so if he came upstairs she would have no option then to talk to him and be in the same room with him and be close to him. She started to feel really nervous and her heart started to pump in her ears.
"Maybe I should go downstairs and meet him," Luke said waiting for Rory to sort of allow him to.
She smiled at his concern. This man was really amazing, he really cared about her. She always knew, but seeing his abashment around this situation made her almost laugh inside. For a bit, it seemed he was more nervous than her for them to meet. Luke always was pretty supportive of Rory and Jess. She thought he loved the idea that Jess could end up with someone that he valued and respected so much. She knew that for Luke she always was a role model, even before his daughter came and turned out to be a pretty smart girl, he always cheered for all Rory's victories and always looked at her with pride, that kind of father-daughter pride and that always made her feel close to him.
"Maybe you should Luke." He turned his back and headed straight to the door. "And Luke?" He turned to look at her, waiting for what she was about to say. "Thank you. And please don't drive him away. I can handle it OK?"
He smiled at her. In the end, she seemed happy to know he was downstairs. "You're welcome and I will not. Actually, maybe it's good for you two to talk. Don't you think?"
She just nodded in agreement and got back to her unpacking. Luke left the room and closed the door behind him. When he got to the diner Jess was already at the counter. "Hey."
Jess smiled and nodded. "Hey."
"That's a surprise. What brings you here?" Luke asked dying to tell him that Rory was upstairs. But this situation didn't belong to him to tell.
Jess gave a small smile. "So apparently you are not very happy to see me."
"Of course I am happy! Just surprised. Last time you were here you spoke about coming back after Christmas and now here you are." Luke said serving Jess some coffee.
"I was nearby because of the editor and decided to spend the night if it's ok with you. After all, the apartment is empty and I was not in the mood to go back to Philly tonight." Jess informed Luke with his eyes on the coffee cup. The truth was he missed Luke and the diner lately. He really didn't know why but from time to time he felt lost and needed to come "home." Well not home because this wasn't his real home but in the end, Luke was the only family that he really considered family. As much as he struggled with the feeling that he had to try to get along with his mother and father the truth was he just couldn't look at them the same way that he looked at Luke. He was Jess' refuge. He always felt safe with his uncle, as much as they fought, the truth was Luke was always the only one that really cared about him. And for a troubled teenager with zero expectations about life, meeting someone that was willing to help him to be a better person was overwhelming. Yes, he never really knew how to handle all this feelings and support but he recognized all that and when he decided to stop being that cocky dumb kid he told that to Luke. Jess had tried to pay him back all he could and he was very happy with the fact that after all these years he has a place to go that felt like home to him.
"Yes, Jess it's ok. Just a small thing. The apartment is occupied now but I think you two could share it without problems." Luke informed Jess with a smirk.
"Occupied? By who?" Jess' poker face was priceless. He for sure was not expecting this.
Meanwhile, Rory was upstairs feeling nervous and circling around the room looking at the mess she had made with all of the bags and boxes as she tried to figure out where to put everything. The floor was complete chaos and she didn't even know where to start. Looking at the door she felt her heart beat fast again. Jess was downstairs and she didn't quite knew why she was so nervous about that but in that moment she decided that she needed to take it out of her chest and go downstairs and face him and hope she felt better after that.
In a blink of an eye, she was downstairs. When she saw him he was with his back to her. Her heart raced again, she could feel it everywhere.
When he turned back and faced her she blushed and he was so surprised that he almost fell off the stool.
"Hi," He said, smiling.
"Hi," She said, facing him with her whole body shaking. She really hoped that he didn't notice. Then she turned to Luke and added, "Hi."
"Hi! Oh my, I think I'm having déjà vu." And with that the three of them broke into a big laugh.
