*** I do not own Harry Potter. I wish I did but I don't. ***
IMPORTANT!
/ AUTHORS NOTE: I'm sorry that I haven't uploaded in a long time! I had finals and then so much work to do. Then when I wanted to write I couldn't. I wrote like a whole page and then deleted all of it. This story is forming and I know where it's going but I can't seem to put it in the right words. I promise that I will write more often and hopefully be posting every week maybe more. Thanks for sticking with me and hopefully I will live up to your expectations. -Castlerocks/
\\\ PLEASE read the bottom note and answer the awesome question! Thanks! \\\
Giving In
Chapter 13: Lost In Thought
Harry sat lying in his/voldmorts bed staring at the ceiling. You know when you are so lost in thought that you seem to be daydreaming but you can't seem to move your body? Some call it a sleep coma Harry called it every night. He had so much on his mind that he wouldn't have batted an eye even if Voldemort had burst into the room wearing a tutu and declared his love for Dumbledore that's how lost in thought he was.
After Lucius Malloy had left the meeting. He and Voldemort got down to serious business. Voldemort explained to him that he expected Harry to join him on the "Evil Side". Harry wanted to but he still had his doubts.
* Flashback begins *
"If you are willing to listen then I'll try and persuade you." Voldemort said while flashing Harry a wicked grin. "Tomorrow night I'm having a inner circle meeting. I would like you to be there." Voldemort explained while Harry shook his head. "I don't think I can do that." Harry wanted Dumbledore gone but he didn't have the stomach to go and participate in a Death Eater meeting. He may have changed sides but he wasn't completely insane. Voldemort saw the look on Harry's face. "You don't have to join in. You can just sit in and listen. I think you will find it enlightening." Voldemort explained and Harry nodded his understanding. He would try and see Voldemorts point.
* Flashback ends *
What was a Death Eater meeting even like? People being tortured on the table they were sitting around? Everyone kissing Voldemorts robe and Bellatrix mocking him about Sirius? No, that was the Order of the Phoenix's way of thinking. Voldemort wasn't the same man that he had learned about. He wasn't completely evil. He wasn't the same so the Death Eaters also had to be better. They just had to be.
Voldemort had been so great during the entire meeting. He had asked Harry how he was and if he needed anything. He seemed to genuinely care about Harry's well being. Something that Harry had never experienced before. No one actual cared about him maybe Mrs. Weasley but she didn't seem genuine. Something about the Weasleys had been off. It started after fourth year. They just stopped actually caring about Harry. They always seemed fake and even Ron had changed. Harry didn't want to think about them. He had a new family now one that cared. Snape, Mcgonagall, and now Voldemort. They were his family and he liked it. They were true and real. His very own real family.
He continued to look at the ceiling. His mind started to drift and he could feel himself slipping into a dream, hopefully a peaceful one. He felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise. Someone was watching him but he was too tired to see whom. He finally let the darkness consume him.
Voldemort stood by the door watching Harry for a few minutes. He could tell that Harry had finally fallen asleep by the fall and rising of his chest. He smiled to himself. The boy looked so innocent asleep, so peaceful. Harry had too much on his shoulders. So much depending on him that he needed all the rest he could get. Voldemort slowly walked over to the bed and wrapped the comforter around Harry. He let his hand brush over Harry's head and it lingered on his scar. Harry seemed to snuggle into Voldmorts touch. Voldemort let himself sigh with contentment. He would give everything he had to keep Harry safe because without Harry, Voldemort wouldn't be able to function. It was amazing how much an impact that Harry had on his life. They didn't even know each other that much but Harry had been accepting of Voldemort and that kind of acceptance rarely happened to the Dark Lord. People usually cowered in front of him. Harry was his equal. He was what made him whole. He shook himself. 'Where did that sentiment come from?' Voldemort asked himself and it had finally dawned on him.
Voldemort walked out of the room without glancing at Harry. He had made up his mind. He was in love with the young boy. Although it had only been a few days and they didn't really know one another that well. Voldemort knew that he had found his soul mate. He knew that his life would never be the same. He had told himself long ago that he would never love anyone but he had been lying to himself because he had wanted Harry from the moment he stepped into Riddle manor. Voldemort always held on to the things he loved the most. He would keep Harry safe and sound. God did he need a drink. All this emotion that was going through him freaked him out. He wasn't used to it. He sat at his desk and poured himself a tall glass of firewhiskey. He downed it in one go. He sat at his desk and contemplated just how insane his life was and he realized that he wouldn't have wanted it any other way.
* Order Of The Phoenix Headquarters*
Snape sat up and looked around. He was finally alone. He leaned back against the headboard. He breathed a sigh of relief. The plan that Mcgonagall and him made up, worked. It hurt like hell but it worked. He had been healed by Poppy and properly interrogated by Dumbledore. He gave the story that he had tried to save Harry and was caught trying to sneak him out of the manor. Voldemort had tortured him and he had activated his emergency portkey just as he was left alone in his cell. That's why he ended up on the steps of Grimmauld place. To his surprise Dumbledore had believed him and just like that he was back in Dumbledores good graces.
It was probably three in the morning but for some reason he couldn't seem to fall alseep. He should have been dead tired after Mcgonagalls torture session (man that women could be scary if she wanted to) and being healed but he wasn't. All he could think about was Harry. He wondered how the boy was. He was all alone with Voldemort. He trusted Harry enough to know the boy would activate the Portkey if he was in danger but he still didn't trust Voldemort. There was something going on between the two and he didn't want Harry getting hurt.
He would never forgive himself if something had happened to Him. 'You sound like a mother goose! The boy is fine! Stop worrying!' His inner voice told him. He ignored it. He had spent too damn long not caring about anyone. He would keep Harry safe no matter what. He never wanted to feel alone again. The darkness of not having anyone is so very lonely. That he would give his soul to the devil to never be swallowed by it again.
'Why did I let myself be consumed by hatred?' He asked himself. 'Why did I let myself go this far without reaching out for help?' He asked himself again. No voice answered. He didn't want to admit to himself that he did it because he had been hurt before. That people close to him get hurt. That bad things happened to them because he hadn't been able to save them. 'Why me?' He asked again. 'Why can't I have someone? Someone to care for? To be there for?' Still there was no answer. He felt like screaming. He took a deep breath. He had worked himself into a panic 'calm yourself Severus!' He took another breath and felt his heart rate go down. He slid into the sheets and covered his face. He willed himself to forget his wrong doings and things he didn't have and focus on the things he did. He occluded his mind before he let himself slip into a dreamless sleep.
*At the same time at Hogwarts*
Dumbledore lay in bed. His mind too had been lost in thought all evening. Snape coming back to him was a blessing. Without the man his whole evil plan would have gone down the trash shoot. Snape had no idea just how powerful he really was. Had he ever found out Dumbledore was sure he wouldn't live another day. He let himself sigh. His plans weren't completely lost. He still had most of his pawns. He just needed a way to get back his knight. He snuggled into his comforter that was covered in unicorns and let himself fall asleep. It would be his last peaceful sleep of the year because his knight (Harry) would not be coming back. The Dark side had plans for the so-called light side and they got better and stronger by the second.
*** This chapter was short and horrible. I'm sorry! But I hope you liked it anyway! Please review! Oh and by the way on a side note I just wanted to ask if any of you have seen the movie THE LABYRINTH? I'm officially obsessed! The Goblin King is my new fav character of all time! Next to Snape of course! ;) *** -castlerocks
