Chapter 4: True Friend or False Friend
A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself.
-Jim Morrison
Laura's Diary 7th of October 2016
Today has been quite awkward, first I had lessons, which were some of the most complex and convoluted. Never had I had to accumulate and assimilate in just one day. After a busy and hectic day of studying, I almost forgot the arrangement I had scheduled to meet Marina at 17:30. Knowing that if I didn't keep my promise and not turn up at her dormitory, there would be another confrontation the next day.
Of course I was uncomfortable and vexed by Marina's constant advances and attempts to get my attention, but I could not deny that I did feel sorry for her, immensely. I wanted to help her, but I didn't want to make it my daily chore to help her. I have this opportunity to obtain my degree, which would benefit my career in the future, and to become a psychiatrist like my late father. Trying to graduate and trying to help Marina get her life on track, wasn't something I could devote my time to. Not that I didn't want to, but just on the account that maybe I'm not the ideal or qualified person who could help her. It's obvious that I am not going to put things on hold just to help Marina, but I just didn't want to have the guilty conscience if anything bad happens to her. By this point I might have had the inclination to report her for harassment, but I am a patient woman who believes in second chances.
When I went to visit Marina, I was tense and rethinking about the whole arrangement, but another purpose was to return her shirt; which I washed and ironed for her. Of course Marina was happy to see me, and I did the best I could to humor her, and act as polite and caring as possible.
When Marina gave me the present she had made for me, I was convinced for the first time, that despite her eerie pose and clingy nature; she did have a really big heart. So much effort and passion went into making that portrait of me. I was so pleased with the drawing, I hung the portrait on the wall above my bed. If Marina could see me hanging up the portrait, or even if she saw it hung on the wall, she would be delighted to see how much I value and appreciate her artistic and thoughtful present.
She has demonstrated and proven her friendship to me, but has also proven to be obsessed with me, which makes me uneasy. Part of me is chafed with her advances, but another part of me is flattered, and is willing to give her another chance; and be more patient with her.
For the remainder of the night my flatmates Liv and Isabel (aka Miss Izzy), plan to have a movie night. We don't know which film, but my flatmates are choosing the films and are buying the snacks. Maybe I should ask Marina round for our movie night, but I think it's too soon, and I think her and I need space for one night.
Before I go to bed, I think I will arrange another meet up with Marina later in the week. I just hope she won't be too demanding to know when our next meeting will be, but I just want her to show me that she can be patient and considerate about my space and privacy.
Suddenly the main door creaked open and slammed shut as the noise could be heard in the corridor. Fast paced footsteps clomped on the floor and the rustling of plastic bags could be heard, which to Laura's perception was that Olivia and Isabel have returned home with snacks, and a couple of films to watch.
„Laura, we got the movies and the munchies," called out Olivia as her voice echoed in the hall. After a moment of silence, Olivia with Isabel tagging along behind closely walked into Laura's room. „Laura, what are you up to in there?" asked Olivia who frowned curiously as she took little steps closer to Laura.
„Nothing, I was out," explained Laura sheepishly.
„Out where?" asked Olivia.
"Just... out," retorted Laura, lifting a guilty looking smile on her face.
Olivia's eyes then turned to the middle of Laura's bed, frowning suspiciously at the pictured frame that Laura hung above her bed. "This is new," said Olivia, advancing towards to the side of the bed to get a better look at the black and white portrait. Olivia was so close to Laura, she could have ran into her, but she halted and continued to gawk at the portrait. "Where'd you get this?" asked Olivia.
Laura hesitated before she responded with an alibi, "Just picked it up from town, there was a street artist who wanted to do a portrait of me, so I paid him to do a portrait of me."
"No no, I'm seeing something evident about this portrait," doubted Olivia, fixing on the small obscure signature and date on the bottom right of the portrait. "From a street artist, right?" inquired Olivia.
Laura turned to face the portrait too, and nervously nodded with a response, "Yeah."
"Then why do I see a little signature here inscribing "Marina 04.10.16", if I may ask?" asked Olivia with a sullen voice.
"Oh... I... well," stammered Laura, with Olivia turning to look at Laura straight in the eye, with her hands firmly on her hips; knowing that Laura was not being truthful, and had something to hide.
"You've been seeing her haven't you?" interrogated Olivia with her lips buttoned up, and eyes burning into Laura's.
"Okay, I lied and I'm sorry," confessed Laura, trying to sound as apologetic as possible.
"What is it with you two?" asked Olivia, still frowning with confusion.
"I don't know, I felt guilty about lying to her about my birthday party," explained Laura, while walking aimlessly around the room. "Besides, she had a present for me, the least I could do to make it up to her was go to hers and accept it," said Laura, trying to come up with a good reason.
"Look Laura," snapped Olivia, as she sat herself on Laura's bed and huffed, "You can't go around lying your way out of everything, especially your friends, who are trying to protect you."
"I'm sorry okay, I'm just," apologized Laura, as she buried her face in her hands, and sat herself next to Olivia. "I'm not like you okay," sobbed Laura.
Olivia looked at her and asked, "What do you mean, not like us."
"I'm not blunt okay, I just didn't want to hurt her feelings," revealed Laura with her eyes starting to leak and turn red.
"Well you did by lying to her, didn't you?" implied Isabel, who was still on her own two feet looking affectionately at Laura.
"I know, and that's one thing I regret, I should have told her the truth or maybe invited her," bawled Laura, continuing to sob. Olivia snapped into action, reaching for tissues at the bedside table, while Isabel placed her hand in Laura's soft palm. Olivia dried Laura's face and wiped the tears away from cheeks, and gave her the tissue in her free hand.
"Look, it was your birthday, the choice who you wanted to invite was yours; but come on, you didn't invite anyone else who's on your friends list," expounded Olivia, while watching Laura clean her face and nose with the tissue.
"I know," sniveled Laura.
Olivia asked, "This girl "Marina" if I must say so; is just a messed up troubled young girl, and it's not your job to be her therapist, is it?"
Waiting for a response, Laura eventually answered, "No" as she brought the tissue to her face to blow her nose.
"There you go," responded Olivia.
"Just why are you making a big deal about what I do and who I see?" asked Laura, with a mouthful of thick saliva.
"Laura, at the end of the day, you can't just let people walk all over you; you can't put things on hold for them, sometimes it has to be you, besides; you keep lying and someone in particular is going to get funny, and you know who?" hinted Olivia with a smile, giving Laura the hint who she is talking about.
"Tyler, you mean Tyler?" asked Laura.
In response Olivia placed her hand on Laura's lap and said, „Exactly, you know how he acts when he gets suspicious." Laura turned her head to look at Olivia with her face moist and eyes red.
„I know, he gets funny whenever I interact with other men, especially Kobe," mentioned Laura, aware that she has an overprotective and jealous boyfriend.
„That is precisely why you must be careful not to screw up your relationship with Tyler, that's if you want to keep him that is," reminded Isabel, squeezing Laura's delicate hand.
„I just feel, that I want to take things easy with Marina, I know she's sick and needs help; but ignoring her and brushing her away isn't going to help," suggested Laura, as Isabel sunk her head down and huffed with Olivia tutting in frustration.
„Listen Laura, how you choose to go about dealing with the Marina dilemma, just be careful, okay; because we love you!" explained Olivia, putting her arm around Laura, and smothered her face in Laura's shoulder; with Isabel doing the same. „Come, lets go and watch some films," enticed Olivia, standing up along with Isabel, as Laura livened up and got off her bed. Laura strutted into the kitchen and prepared the snacks, even putting the popcorn on the stove, while Olivia and Isabel would join her in the kitchen to lend assistance.
When the snacks were ready and the three girls got themselves seated, they commenced their movie night with a chick flick. The chick flick was Peter Jackson's "Heavenly Creatures", also known as Kate Winslet's first film. The film is based on a true story about two girls who form an obsessive and inseparable bond, which leaves them to a path to commit an act of matricide.
In the dark room that was lit by the television, Laura sat completely relaxed and engaged as the movie played. She watched the two protagonists Pauline and Juliet played by Kate Winslet and Melanie Lysnskey as they played and frolicked through the green environment. Seeing them together and how determined they were to not let anything or anyone separate them, and how grim things would turn out. When the film got to the part where they got intimate, it immediately triggered a scene in Laura's mind, and she started comparing their obsessiveness to Marina's.
In order to shake the thought of her and Marina becoming like Pauline and Juliet out of her mind, Laura swung her head to face Olivia, who was playing with her phone. It was unclear if Olivia was actually invested in the movie, or she was answering a message or a post on her profile. While swaying her attention away from Olivia, Isabel seemed to still be invested in the movie, but made no facial expression.
When the final scene of the movie played, which showed the shocking and horrific act of matricide that both Pauline and Juliet participated in, Laura's stomach started to turn, she could throw up. Even when the screen cut to the aftermath, explaining in text what happened to them when they got caught, and were sentenced for the murder. Goosebumps formed on her skin and shivers ran down her spine. She hoped that the next film would be light hearted.
While Isabel got up to take a break by stretching her legs, Olivia got up to select the next film.
„Do you think we could watch a film that's more… comedic or tamer?" requested Laura, still shivering from the effect the ending had on her.
„Of course, and I know just the film, this is one I picked myself," said Olivia, being occupied with taking the DVD out of the player and putting it back in its case.
„Who picked that movie?" wondered Laura, feeling bitter about being made to watch a buddy film, with a dark and disturbing ending.
„Isabel picked it, she kept pressuring me to watch it with her," claimed Olivia, picking the next movie by snapping open the case. „Laura, be a dear and go make us some more popcorn?" requested Olivia, passing Laura the bowl while her eyes were still fixed on the TV.
In response, Laura got on her feet and took the bowl from Olivia's hand. Once she was in the kitchen she put more popcorn on the stove, and waited until the tinfoil containing the popcorn bloated. Still reflecting about watching "Heavenly Creatures", which she never seen before, and didn't intend to rewatch it anytime soon. When the popcorn started to pop and the tinfoil started to inflate like a balloon; she had no appetite for popcorn, as her stomach was refusing any consumable of any kind.
Taking her mind off the film and the idea of eating, Laura turned to the one thing that distracted her in her daily life, her mobile phone. Laura was surprised to see posts on Facebook that weren't from Marina. Feeling generous and believing that Marina is showing signs of respecting her privacy; Laura starts to arrange a meeting with Marina.
In Marina's dormitory, spending her evening routine just browsing on her laptop after doing some sketching, she sees a new post from Olivia. Even though Marina was only interested in Laura, she did browse through Laura's friend's profile just to see anything involving Laura. As soon as the film "Heavenly Creatures" caught her eye, she instantaneously recalled the time when she watched it. She strongly related to how Pauline and Juliet were devoted to each other, and how they both lived in their own fantasy world. Was she Pauline or Juliet, and which one was Laura? The film itself, was what got her into the LGBT and buddy genre, and drew her away from her interests in the gothic subculture. Laura was tagged in the post, and she was thrilled to see that Laura watched it too, and assumed it was one of her favorite films too.
Suddenly a window popped up on the bottom right of screen, which displayed Laura's profile picture. This sight provoked a smile of Marina's face, which hurt her cheek. "Hello Marina, hope you are having fun this evening. I was wondering if you would like to meet up Tuesday evening for a makeover?" read the message.
Dithering and smiling, she hovered her hands over the keyboard ready to type in the response, and typed the response in rapid succession. "Hello Laura, yeah I would love to, what time?" read the message with a smiley face placed at the end.
"How about 18:00?" read the message that blinked with a tone.
"Okay, see you then" read the message that Marina typed in, and included another smiley face.
Laura smiled at the sight of the smiley faces, knowing how happy she made Marina feel. Realizing that the popping had concluded for less than a minute ago, Laura jolted and impulsively took the popcorn off the stove to avoid it being burnt. After the relief of not burning the popcorn, she was then inclined to extend the online chat.
"We just watched a film, 'Heavenly Creatures' it was called" typed in Laura, hoping to get a response from Marina.
"Cool, I love that film, what do you think of it?" typed in Marina, and waited for the ‚typing' indication knowing Laura was typing a message.
"It was interesting, I don't think I've see anything like it before," typed Laura, wanting to humor Marina and not wanting to hurt her feelings by criticizing a film she liked, but didn't want to give her the idea she liked it as much. Marina started a long message describing why she idolizes the film, and was inclined to compare her to Pauline and Juliet.
„Laura, hurry up with that popcorn, the next movie is starting," shouted (not so loud) Olivia from the lounge. Laura turned her head, her heart leapt and started to pound, she turned back to her phone to type a departing message to Marina.
"Sorry Marina, I need to go, but I'll see you in class on Monday," wrote Laura. She tipped the popcorn into the bowl and scurried to the lounge.
"Okay see you soon," read the message that Marina typed, but Laura was too frantic bringing the popcorn to her friends to sense the message had been sent.
After Marina sent the message, she closed the laptop and decided to go to bed, feeling fulfilled and content. When she was in bed and was trying to sleep, she fantasized about the next meeting she will have with Laura. The fantasy and the anticipation was overwhelming, she hardly slept that night.
To be continued...
