Chapter 6: Lost but not Abandoned

Grief changes shape, but it never ends.

- Keanu Reeves


Out in cool fresh air, the air started to get rapidly colder and the the sky got cloudier, which darkened the whole atmosphere where Laura stood. She stared at the door that was recently slammed in her face.

Without warning, rain fell from the sky and it came down so heavy and brutal, it hurt as if it was raining gravel. The rain was so fierce and cruel, it soaked Laura in mere seconds, it was enough to make her cry. The afterthought of her breakup and expulsion from Tyler's apartment, including her being soaked in the rain, induced her to turn and walk away in tears. She took her luggage that wasn't too weighty for her, but it kept hitting the side of her leg while dragging it along with her.

Laura tried as quick as possible to get away from the apartment without looking back, but didn't know who to turn to, either her mother or her friends. She even thought she should call herself a taxi if she wanted to reach her shared apartment, or have her mother come and pick her up. Trying to carry her suitcase and walk at the same time, she pulled out her phone and tried to select one of the two numbers. The touch screen of her mobile phone became wet with raindrops that splashed on, and made the touch screen harder to use and even made the display harder to read.

Before Laura could select her contact list on her phone, her foot slipped and she tumbled down the stairs. During her tumble down the stairs, she felt the sharp edges of steps against her skin and bones. When she reached the bottom of the stairs, she could feel grazes on her legs that burnt, and her ankle that she slipped on was twisted. The hand that she used to break her fall caused her to hurt her wrist, which was also the hand she used when she tried to make a call. Her phone lay in front of her in a puddle, showing no signs of life.

Laura burst into tears, knowing that she was kicked out by her boyfriend, she was injured from falling downstairs; and she was soaking in the rain. „Laura," whispered a voice in the shadows. Laura looked up to see who it was who called her name. In a scene that was illuminated by bright orange lights and shadows near where the trees stood, the dark figure advanced towards Laura. The orange light reflected on the figure's face, and there out of all people who would approach her at a time like this, stood Marina. Her face looked concerned, worried about Laura's safety and wellbeing, she knelt down in front of her.

„Laura, let me help you," pleaded Marina, holding out her hand. Laura looked up at Marina, looking scared and unease, not expecting her to turn up at a time like this. Nonetheless she took Marina's hand and was helped onto her knees. „Can you walk?" asked Marina, helping Laura sit and lean against the wall.

„Not really," anguished Laura, beginning to shiver because of the rain having soaked through her clothes.

„I can't just leave you in the rain, come, I'll help you walk," offered Marina with a smile to lighten up Laura's mood.

Slowly and gently, Marina got Laura onto her feet, but not without feeling the bad ankle and sore wrist. Marina took Laura's suitcase and had Laura put her arm with the sore wrist around her neck, and she put her hand on Laura's hip. Along the way, Laura was hopping, trying to not put too much weight on the foot with the twisted ankle. The trees that hovered above them, provided cover from the rain, and made their walk together more comfortable and easeful.


Before Laura could question where she was, or where Marina was taking her, they both arrived at the block of flats; which was where the dorms were located. The whole area went black and the rain stopped, and Laura had Marina as support, and guide her through the blackness. Suddenly an electronic beep and the click of a lock emitted, then a door creaked open, revealing a dimly lit interior. It became clear to Laura that Marina had carried her all the way back to hers, and she was unsure if that was where she wanted to be as her preferred place of solace. Regardless where Laura wanted to be, or whose company she wanted, she allowed Marina to lead her into her dormitory. They both approached the desk, which had a lit desk lamp and a closed laptop. Once near the desk, Marina placed Laura's suitcase beside the table and then sat her on her bed. Laura's shivering became more intense, and it was conspicuous that she was at risk of hypothermia, if her need for warmth wasn't tended to.

Marina knelt in front of Laura and took her cold hands, then rubbed them to make them warm. „Laura, you are so cold, I'm going to get you a towel," commiserated Marina, and went to fetch her a towel.

Laura remained seated on the bed, still feeling cold and shivering uncontrollably, unsure what to feel about the current situation she was in. Wanting to feel warm again and wanting someone who would comfort her, Marina came back with a large towel. Marina wrapped the towel around Laura, which stopped her shivering and she became more relaxed and calm. Laura looked up at Marina who was smiling at her, knowing that Laura was safe and comfy in the sanctuary of her dorm.

„I think I need to get something to warm you up," proposed Marina gleefully, like a flight attendant helping a nervous passenger.

While Marina was gone, Laura looked around the scenery of the room, noticing that not much has changed since she last visited. Her clothes still felt damp, but the towel stemmed the dampness, which would have given her a cold. She could hear the kettle boiling in one of the rooms that Marina has disappeared into, once the kettle had stopped boiling, and seconds later there was metallic ringing; concluding with a metallic clang.

Marina then returned to Laura with a thick black mug in her hand, with steam rising out. „Drink this… don't worry it's decaffeinated," assured Marina, gently passing the mug to Laura, as she took the mug from her hand. Laura brought the rim of the mug to her lips and drank the decaffeinated coffee, and let the strong hot brew run down her throat. This hot beverage instantly warmed her body, and she no longer felt cold and damp. She held the mug in the hand, which didn't have the sore wrist, and just gawked at the wall where Marina's sketches hung.

„Is the coffee just right?" asked Marina, with an affable tone of voice and smile, but Laura did not make eye contact; and just nodded in response. Reflecting about what had happened as a result of Marina stealing a kiss, the thought of what happened in the aftermath started to boil in Laura's mind, she was too blinded with rage to verbally communicate with Marina. She would blame her for why Tyler accused her of cheating on him, and kicking her out.

Laura had the urge to bludgeon Marina with the coffee mug and condemn her, but that urge was repelled. Her eyebrows moved close together, her face scrunched and she burst into tears. Her crying caused her body to tremble, as some of the coffee in the mug begun to overflow. „Laura…Laura…Laura," repeated Marina, expressing emotion and concern for Laura's sudden breakdown, moving closer to comfort her. „You're spilling your coffee," heeded Marina, taking the mug and placing it on the desk.

„Oh Tyler, I'm sorry… I'm so sorry… why did you… why wouldn't you listen?" wailed Laura almost inaudibly. Marina wrapped her arms around Laura, and buried her face in her shoulder.

„Laura please don't, I'm here for you, I always am and always will be," consoled Marina, compelled to cry along with Laura.

„I've got to go," sobbed and sniffed Laura, as she stood up trying to separate herself from Marina, but her bad ankle reacted, and a sharp pain ran up her leg. Wincing with the pain and almost collapsing onto her knees, Marina grabbed Laura and prevented her from falling.

„Laura no, it's still raining outside, and you have a bad ankle. It would be better if you stayed the night," suggested Marina, sitting Laura back down on the bed.

„Marina," sniveled Laura, as she looked at Marina, who was crouching down in front of her; holding her hands.

„Laura please, don't do this to yourself, just stay for the night; everything will be alright in the morning," coaxed Marina, and Laura would just look expressionless without saying a response. „Lets take off your jacket," suggested Marina, as she went behind Laura to remove her denim jacket. After the jacket was removed, Marina crouched down to Laura's still wet feet, and removed her shoes. She would then dry the wet feet with the towel, and try to warm the soft cold feet with her hands. Looking up at Laura and smiling amicably, she would then stand up and get Laura to lie down on the bed.

Once Laura was lying on the bed sideways, Marina grabbed the quilt and covered Laura's body, all the way up to her shoulders. She laid there peacefully and submissively, not looking tired at all, but Marina was happy that she got Laura in bed. Gently and lovingly, Marina brushed the hair away from Laura's face, and decided to get herself ready for bed too.

When Marina was ready for bed, she turned off the light and cautiously climbed into bed, and positioned herself next to Laura. She was tempted to wrap her arm around her to stop her falling out of bed, but the response she would get, repressed her to do so. With Laura's long hair in sight and being close to it, Marina would give into the temptation and sniff her hair, smelling the scent of hair products that the rain water had not washed out. Yearning to hold Laura, Marina buried her face into Laura's hair, feeling the soft silkiness, which would help her sleep easily that night.


Laura's eyelids slowly opened, still feeling really heavy, as if she was either still tired or there was sand in her eyes. Her vision was blurry, and she saw orange and brown shapes with no outlines, but as her eyes adapted and came into focus; she realized she was somewhere that she did not expect to wake up. Feeling light headed and regaining her memory, she knew she was in Marina's room, but could not remember how she came round to falling asleep there last night. She stretched her arm out to let the skin on her inner forearm breathe in the cool air, and she turned around to see who lay on the other side. Upon turning the other side, she saw Marina, who was wide awake and warmly smiling.

„Morning Laura," greeted Marina, but in response, Laura flipped onto her back and shot herself into sitting position; and leaned against the wall.

„Marina, what happened, why am I here?" asked Laura, feeling scared and worried about what happened.

„You came here, it was wet outside, I brought you back here; and I let you stay the night," answered Marina, looking confused how Laura could forget all of a sudden. Laura looked down to see the clothes that she wore to bed, noticing the dress she usually wore underneath her denim jacket. Marina was revealed to be wearing her short sleeved T-shirt with her dark panties, baring her naked legs. „Laura… is there something wrong?" asked Marina, concerned that Laura was uncomfortable.

„No, I… I didn't expect to wake up here," replied Laura, without looking at Marina.

„You really don't remember do you?" asked Marina, looking shocked and bemused.

Laura looked at her hair that covered her eye sight, and realized how dry and frizzy it was, probably a result of the rainwater. „My hair is a mess," tutted Laura, grabbing a strand of her hair, and holding it in front of her eye.

„You can use my shower if you like," offered Marina, pointing Laura to the direction where the shower is.

„Thanks Marina," said Laura with a gentle smile, showing her appreciation for Marina's hospitality.

Laura got off the bed, and felt a little pain on the foot where she twisted her ankle, which didn't hurt much and only slightly limped on the way. On the way to the bathroom, and only halfway through the doorway, Laura noticed Marina was behind. „Please Marina don't," declined Laura, blocking the doorway to the bathroom, as Marina stood looking baffled by Laura's reaction.

„I'm going to get you breakfast," clarified Marina.

„Oh okay then, thank you," appreciated Laura, graciously smiling, which provoked Marina to smile too. Laura closed the bathroom door, and Marina marched out of room to get breakfast from a local coffee shop.


Laura spent a long period of time in the narrow shower cabinet, reflecting about yesterday and pondering about the future, and how she was going to sort everything with Tyler. The lukewarm water cleared her mind, as she tilted her head up to let the water splash onto her face.

Laura turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. After wrapping a towel around her body, she stood in front of the steamed up mirror, and wiped it clear to see her reflection. Upon staring at the mirror and practicing her speech to Marina, unsure and doubtful how Marina is going to react.

Suddenly the front door opened, and Laura's heart started to pound, experiencing the same fear actors or singers felt when they are about to go on stage. She was almost expecting Marina to open the bathroom door, or try communicating to her from the other side.

Laura slowly and nervously proceeded to exit the bathroom, enduring the cool air against her bare shoulders and face. She approached the bed where Marina was sitting, smiling and holding two paper cups of coffee in a disposable coffee holder, with a paper bag. „I brought coffee, and I hope you like bagels," said Marina, placing them on the desk.

„Clothes?" questioned Laura promptly.

Marina instantly pointed with her thumb where Laura's suitcase stood, and indicated, „Right over there." Laura opened up the suitcase, and dug around for the articles of clothing she needed.

„Oh great," moaned Laura.

„What is it?" concerned Marina.

„I have no panties," tutted Laura.

„You can borrow a pair of mine," insisted Marina, impulsively opening her draw and fetching out a pair of thick, dark green panties, and held them out to Laura. As much as Laura was reluctant to put on someone else's underwear clean or not, she saw no other alternative but to borrow them.

After Laura had gathered the clothes she was going to change into, she noticed that Marina was looking at her smiling. „Don't worry I will look away, while you get dressed," said Marina, and willfully turned to look at the wall. Laura just looked at Marina, baffled by why she would think that it would be wrong to look at the naked body of someone of her own gender. Laura of course remembers being naked in front of other girls, even Olivia when they hit the showers after gym class.

Marina almost gave into temptation to turn around and view Laura's naked body, visualising her to have an angelic, even an impeccable naked body; but wanting to be polite, she continued to fix her eyes on the wall.

Once Laura was dressed, she sat down on the bed and had breakfast. She found the bagels a bit dry, so she used the coffee to moisten up the bagel in her mouth, so she could swallow it. Marina watched Laura amusingly as she ate, seeing how fast Laura was trying to eat the bagel, as if she was hungry or just impetuous for what she planned to do after breakfast. Marina took a bagel for herself, but didn't pursue to eat it, she took little swigs of her coffee.

After Laura had finished the bagel, letting the final piece slide down her throat, she impulsively begun to search for her phone. „Where's my phone?" asked Laura, squatting down next to her rain soaked clothes she changed out of.

„Right here," answered Marina, holding out her phone with an outstretched arm.

Laura took it from Marina's hand and thanked apathetically, „Thank you." Marina got the horrible feeling that Laura wanted to assemble her belongings, and see herself out as quickly as possible.

„I fixed your phone," informed Marina, squeezing her hands together, as Laura raised her chin to look at her. „It was not working because it got wet, but I fixed it for you," confirmed Marina.

„Thank you," responded Laura gratefully with a smile, which made Marina smile too and blush.

A moment of silence fills the room as Laura calls her mum "Caroline", and waits patiently for a response. Marina sits on her bed, just staring at Laura and listening in, curious to know how Laura communicates with other people.

„Hi Laura," warmly greeted Caroline, which causes Laura to smile and respond.

„Hi mum," responded Laura warmly.

„Is everything okay my greenbean?" asked Caroline, feeling a little concerned.

„Everything is fine mum, well to be honest I had a fall out yesterday," replied Laura. Laura looks at Marina smiling, which discourages Laura from wanting to divulge the whole truth. All of a sudden a request on Laura's phone appears, which is a request for FaceTime. Laura being reluctant to accept the request, accepts the video chat offer and takes the phone away from her ear, and holds it in front of her face.

„Oh sweetie, with whom?" asked Caroline with teary looking eyes and tucked in lips.

„Well I…" hesitated Laura before taking a deep breath, and exhaling before delivering the tragic news, „Tyler and I… had a fight, and he threw me out."

„Oh no," reacted Caroline, making a facial expression as if she was about to cry too. The sight of Laura's mother's face was enough to bring back the emotional pain from yesterday, she started to cry which made Marina cry too. Marina handed Laura a tissue, which she whipped out of her hand, and proceeded to wipe her face. „What did you do?" asked Caroline emotionally.

Laura stuttered tearfully and tried to respond, „He accused me of cheating on him."

„Oh no," reacted Caroline, trying to conjure a solution, „I'm sure you two can get back together, maybe it's best you just give him space, and let him come to you when he's ready."

„I understand mum, I still have other pressing matters to attend to, and I still got Liv and Isabel," sniffed Laura. The mention of those two names filled Marina with pure green jealousy, as she clenched her fist with the tissue she used to wipe the tears, aware that she wasn't mentioned among the friends she had.

„Well spoken greenbean, keep focused on the course, make your father proud," encouraged Caroline with a smile.

„I will mum, bye," said Laura.

„Bye," responded Caroline, as they both waved and ended the call.

Laura took a deep breath and breathed out, then reflected on the situation she was in, and how she was going to get things back on track. „Marina, I've got to go and drop my stuff off at Liv's and Isabel's," announced Laura, looking at Marina with a neutral expression.

„Okay," concurred Marina, watching Laura get up and close her suitcase, and make her way out. „You want time alone?" assumed Marina nervously, with her heart beating rapidly, as Laura turned to look at her.

After seconds of hesitation, Laura responded, „Marina, at a time of crisis, you need time to be alone. I need to figure out how I'm going to win Tyler's trust back."

Marina gasped with her mouth wide open and blamed herself, „This is all my fault, if I didn't kiss you this wouldn't have happened!"

„No Marina, it's not your fault. Kobe spread the rumor to Tyler, and Tyler does overreact sometimes," demurred Laura with a smile. Marina was able to alleviate her guilt about her action, and the burden was lifted off of her shoulders. „Besides, it wasn't the first time a girl has ever kissed me," confessed Laura with a wide smile, and a hunch of her shoulders.

„No?" reacted Marina, raising her eyelids and barely visible eyebrows, reacting to the new discovery.

„I was out one night with Olivia and other friends, we had a bit too much to drink. We got really intoxicated, and we got affectionate with each other, and before I knew it; I was face to face with Olivia… we leant forward and we pecked each other on the lips," revealed Laura, not feeling embarrassed about it. Marina started to giggle, tucking in her lips and expelling the air out of her nostrils, and Laura burst out laughing.

After they stopped laughing and caught their breath, there was a pause until Marina asked Laura, „You still want to be alone?"

Laura hesitated and threw her eyes in a different direction and exhaled, then she answered amicably, „Oh the heck with it, you can walk with me." Marina's eyes opened wide, feeling elated, and she got off her bed. Her and Laura exited the dorm.


On the way there, both Laura and Marina engaged in small talk, and had laughs on the way. Laura mainly shared funny stories as Marina did the same, but she didn't have many funny stories to share. Marina mainly talked to Laura about theories regarding superstition and paganism (regarding European paganism), which Laura did take an interest in, and was somewhat impressed.

When they reached the shared flat, Laura halted and turned to face Marina to indicate that she wanted to go her separate way. „Well, here we are," said Laura cheerfully.

Marina passively assumed, „I guess you want to be alone now, you need time to think how you are going to resolve everything."

„Yeah of course, but thank you for walking back with me, I needed someone to talk to and cheer me up," expressed Laura gratefully.

„My pleasure… I better get to class, better early than late," laughed Marina, and Laura laughed along too.

„See you at class," said Laura, turning her attention to the flat.

„See you Laura," replied Marina, turning her attention to the opposite direction, and started to make her way to class.


When Laura had dropped off her suitcase (didn't have time to unpack), she made her way to class where she saw Marina sitting in her comfort zone. When Laura looked at her, Marina smiled but looked away assuming that Laura wanted her space. Laura was baffled why Marina shied away, she wouldn't have shooed her away if she wanted to sit more closer.

While Marina remained seated at the back, she did look at the back of Laura's head, and she did catch glimpses of Olivia looking at her. The expression on Olivia's face, was of distrust and disapproval. This was enough to intimidate Marina and make her curl up in a ball. Unlike when she wasn't in the flesh, and Marina could feel more dominant and resilient against Olivia.


During lunchtime when Laura and her two other friends Olivia and Isabel sat at one of the tables, Marina subsequently entered the cafeteria and sat at an empty table. She assumed that Laura wanted space from her, trying to control the urge not to glance at her. When she did turn her head to look at Laura briefly, she noticed Laura looked back at her. In a panic, she turned and threw her eyes off Laura, and fixed her eyes onto her closed laptop on the table. Her laptop was black, had a white image of a tree and a flock of birds.

„Wow it's your girlfriend again," quipped Olivia, gazing at Marina who was frozen stiff, looking at her laptop.

„Liiiiiv" whined Laura jokingly and lightly slapped her on the tricep.

„What?" asked Olivia sarcastically, and continued her suspicion of Laura and Marina's private hangout, „Well you still have that portrait she did of you, and you have been seeing her often."

„Besides you are with Tyler, what would he…." reminded Isabel, unable to finish her sentence. Laura threw down the fork she was eating her salad with, and buried her face in her hands. The reaction shocked Isabel, and she remained silent while Olivia placed her hand on Laura's shoulder.

„Hey hey hey, what's the matter?" concerned Olivia. Laura unburied her face, which looked damp with tears.

„Yesterday, Tyler and I had a fall out," cried Laura, trying to stop herself from crying.

„Oh no, Laura I didn't mean to bring him up," apologized Isabel, feeling guilty.

„Laura, I know Tyler can be paranoid and maybe a little overprotective, but I'm sure he will eventually calm down and start talking to you again," assured Olivia, rubbing Laura's back.

„Yeah," agreed Laura, breathing in and out, „Life goes on I suppose, I've got my studies to focus on."

„That's more like it Laura, you got your psychology degree to achieve, make your daddy proud," praised Olivia for Laura's words of wisdom, which made Laura smile.

Shrugging off the thought of Tyler not being on speaking terms, Laura looked at Marina again and saw her still in the same sitting position, and looking at her laptop; without moving a muscle. She hesitated at first about the idea, but she impulsively got off her seat and walked towards Marina.

„Marina," whispered Laura. Marina reacted by turning around to look at a beautiful sight, which enlivened her. „You want to join us?" asked Laura softly.

„Yeah," responded Marina happily. Marina grabbed her laptop and held it close against her chest like she usually does, and followed Laura back to the table where her friends are.

When Laura brought Marina to the table, she tried to introduce her to her two friends, „Marina, this is Olivia and Isabel, say ‚Hi' you two."

„Hi," said both Olivia and Isabel unenthusiastically.

„Hi," greeted Marina, as she sat down on the opposite side next to Isabel, but Isabel distanced herself a little; uncertain and wary about Marina's presence. With Marina sat at the table, still looking painfully shy, and trying to make eye contact with Olivia and Isabel. They just stared at her with skeptical menacing eyes, unwilling to proper make her acquaintance.

„So you want to tell us a little bit about yourself Marina?" asked Laura, looking at Marina who looked directly into her eyes, being the one who she was not shy with.

„Well, I'm not sure where to begin," replied Marina with jitter in her words.

„Did you see the animated short Marina did, Olivia?" asked Laura.

Olivia nodded and answered, „Yes I did, it must have taken you a long time to do it."

„How long did it take you to do it?" questioned Laura.

Marina answered, „About a week, or less."

„Wow, that's amazing, I thought it would take longer to do animation," responded Laura astonishingly.

„Yeah, I guess it would have taken longer," assumed Olivia uninterested. The social circle became quiet and unsocial.

„I'm going to go to the bathroom real quick, I'll be back shortly," announced Laura zealously, getting up and pacing out of the cafeteria. With Marina left alone with Olivia and Isabel, the whole atmosphere became quiet. Marina felt intimidated and daunted by Olivia and Isabel's presence, it suddenly occurred to Marina that the two were reluctant to start a conversation with her.

Almost reluctant to initiate the conversation with two girls, whom she was undeniably jealous of, she silently mumbled until she could finally get the words out of her mouth. „So how long have you known Laura for?" asked Marina.

After a brief pause Olivia answered, „Since we were kids."

„That nice," responded Marina, as she gave Olivia and Isabel time, expecting them to ask her a question. After half a minute of awkward silence, Olivia spontaneously blurted, „I think I forgot to close my locker, I got to go."

„Yeah me too," said Isabel, as the two girls stood up without conveying concern or any emotion with their body language. Marina was left sat at the table with half eaten food, feeling rejected, but kind of relieved to be free of two girls whom she envied. She hoped that Laura was not using the same alibi as Olivia and Isabel just to ditch her.

After staring at the empty space at the table, Laura unexpectedly sat back down, prompting Marina to look up and see her return. „So how did it go, did you have a conversation with Liv and Isabel?" asked Laura, looking around, noticing they are nowhere to be seen.

„No, they left, they weren't so keen," said Marina emotionless.

„Oh dear, just give them time and they will hopefully warm up to you," advised Laura, which heartened Marina.

„Are you okay with everything?" concerned Marina.

Laura looked at her and responded, „What do you mean?"

„You were crying!" explained Marina, looking deep into Laura's eyes.

„Marina, I really need to figure out how I'm going to get him back, and I just don't know how…" disclosed Laura, mumbling halfway through her sentence, and ending up in tears. Her face turned red and her eyes were soaking, with saliva in her mouth turning thick.

Marina shocked to see the state Laura was in, grabbed her hands and turned them palms up, gripping her fingers tight. „Laura don't, please…." pleaded Marina, „You're making me cry too."

Laura watching Marina's eyes, seeing a tear leak out of the right corner of left eye, stopped her crying. „Marina... don't, I've seen you cry too much, please stop," begged Laura stroking Marina's fingers with her thumb. Marina loving the affectionate contact from Laura smiled, and they both looked deep into each other's eyes. Laura then spontaneously moved her eyes to the right, and saw a couple of male students looking at them. They both looked engaged and intrigued by the sight of two girls holding hands affectionately, hoping to witness a love scene between the two.

Marina turned to see the two spectators staring at them, which made her assume that Laura was embarrassed. „Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to draw attention," apologised Marina releasing Laura's hands.

„No Marina, please take my hands," implored Laura tearfully with a sorrowful look on her face. Marina took both of Laura's hands and placed them together, with her hands enveloped around Laura's, she gazed deep into her eyes looking happy and content. Marina lunges forward to place a gentle kiss on Laura's hands, which made Laura smile. Marina smiled too, feeling proud that she consoled Laura, and they were together alone.

To be continued...