Chapter 8: A Father's Love
My father was my teacher, but most importantly he was a great dad.
- Beau Bridges
Laura's Diary 20th of October 2016
Being single again sure has grown on me in the last couple of days, after having realized I have more free time to myself. I will admit, I do miss Tyler still, but I don't let that feeling hang over me like a rainy cloud to ruin my day. My productivity has increased ever since the breakup, because I've had more free time to myself to focus more on my studies.
Having experienced heartbreak and going through all the emotions, I became interested in the psychological side of heartbreak, and how it can effect one's behavioral pattern. Sure heartbreak is extremely painful, but there is the benefit of feeling liberated from the routine of being in a relationship, and how much of a chore it was to maintain it. Those that are in a relationship or are single aren't truly satisfied either way, there are problems regardless of our relationship status, and we shouldn't dwell on the thought that we might die alone or with our lover by our side.
I also became interested in Marina, the mysterious side of her that is, how ironic is that? Marina would be an ideal case for my psychological study about loneliness, even the fear of abandonment she undoubtedly suffers from. I wanted to help her in anyway I could, even dragging her to a professional psychologist if need be, but that might not be the best way to go about it. I was willing to devote some of my time to keep Marina company and be her friend, but the new feeling I was developing for Marina was something I questioned.
When I did browse through her timeline with Liv and Isabel, I beheld the horrific imagery, which involved mutilation, destruction and dark rituals. Reluctant as I was to view her timeline again, and dig even further, I knew that this was what I would need to endure; if I was ever to be a psychiatrist. I must be prepared to go deep into Marina's subconscious, and uncover what is needed to be uncovered in order to help her. The question remained, was I ever going to succeed in rehabilitating her?
One therapy I've been looking into, which I think might be the solution, is sexual therapy. It was obvious after Marina stole a kiss from me, she wanted to be more than friends with me. All she needs is love, and an urge waggled around in my stomach that I wanted to be the one to give her that love. At first it felt like I wanted to experiment my sexuality on someone of the same sex, but I knew there was the danger that it could become more than an experiment. I also wanted to know if I truly was falling in love with Marina, or I just felt sorry for her, either way I wanted to go on an adventure with her.
Tonight, Marina and I will be meeting up at her place, where she told me she has a surprise for me. I was nervous how everything was going to turn out, and if it's true if Marina was associated with witchcraft, not that I ever believed in superstition.
On a quiet afternoon at the dorms, Marina remained in the sanctuary of her room; preparing for the ritual and Laura's arrival. Frantically and scrupulously, she paces up and down the room assembling all the needed resources and items needed before Laura finally arrives. Pedantic that all the additives to cast the spell were assembled and organized, she took a final inspection, and ran through the check list just to be sure.
While there was still time, Marina looked in the mirror and scrutinized her appearance. She took off her hat to brush her hair. Feeling the back of her head just to brush her hair back, she felt something unusual at the back of her head. No longer was there a large bald patch, but hair had grown. This new discovery was such an overwhelming sensation, she felt less insecure about her baldness and inclined to wear a hat in public.
Before Marina could put her hat back on her head, she heard a knock at the door; and hesitated about putting her hat back on. She decided to throw the hat on the bed and brush the hair draping over her face. She answered the door and there stood Laura, looking as pretty as ever. In the last three days, Laura had been less kempt and wore barely any makeup; it seemed Laura applied makeup just for this occasion. Either Laura got over the break up with Tyler and decided to look her best routinely, or she did it for Marina.
„Hi Marina," greeted Laura, baring a smile with her pearl-white teeth and sparkling eyes, which astonished Marina and took her breath away.
„Hi Laura, you look so gorgeous," astounded Marina, fixing her eyes firmly on Laura.
„Thanks Marina," responded Laura earnestly. She spun around with her arms spread out, and with her bag still resting on her shoulder. Suddenly Laura froze, her mouth gaped open and confounded, „Marina, you're not wearing your hat."
Marina smiled in response and explained, „Well, I have something to show you, come in."
Marina stepped back, allowing Laura to make her way in. Marina closed the door behind her, and turned her back to Laura to show her hair growing back. „Oh my God, Marina, your hair, it's," gasped Laura, walking up to Marina to touch the back of her head. She ran her fingers through the new strands of hair, which have grown thick and healthy. This curious physical touch sent pleasant sensations over Marina's head, and they ran all the way down her spine.
„This is amazing Marina, how did your hair grow back?" questioned Laura, removing her hand away.
„Well Laura, it's hard to explain, but I think I should let you in a little secret; I'm worried that it might scare you," worried Marina.
Anxious but confident, Laura walked up to Marina, took her hands and incited, „Try me." They both looked into each others eyes with Laura smiling and Marina looking nervous, unsure whether to tell Marina the truth, but this was the only way forward for her.
„Laura, this might be hard to believe, but I am a witch," revealed Marina. Laura laughed, but the way she laughed was bizarre; it was if she was prepared to prove her suspicions right about Marina. „I'll prove it to you," mumbled Marina, stepping back while Laura stood on the spot and observed her. Gulping and closing her eyes, she breathed through her nostrils and exhaled, then out from behind her back emerged a black wasp; which buzzed really loud. Then more wasps subsequently emerged and swarmed around her; they reverberated the room, which made Laura's ears ring. Laura froze stiff and swallowed hard to control her fear from the intimidating looking wasps.
When Marina made the wasps disappear behind her back. She stuck out her left hand to the wall beside her, and spanned out her hand. Then thick dark blue strands of smoke swirled in circular motion and materialized a small round mirror, with a white frame. The frame had two skulls on each side looking at each other, and on the top and bottom was an unidentified shape, maybe skulls; but not human looking skulls.
Marina closed her hand and instantly spanned out her hand, which made the mirror silently explode into smoke again, and disappear from the wall. Laura was less scared about the mirror on the wall magic trick, which Marina performed. She was convinced that Marina truly did have supernatural abilities.
Marina smirked with pleasure, which made Laura gasp, smile and exclaim, „Marina, that was amazing."
„Thank you Laura," thanked Marina.
„Did you learn witchcraft or did you always have these abilities?" asked Laura.
„I always had these abilities, as far as I can remember," explained Marina.
„Can you do anymore tricks?" asked Laura intriguingly.
„Well that is precisely what I'm about to show you now, come and sit on my bed and we'll begin," insisted Marina, beckoning with her head for Laura to follow her. Laura slipped off her footwear and sat cross-legged. Marina sat on the bed with her, and begun to grind herbs in a mortar and pestle, which had a strong aroma. Laura would have mistaken the strong smell of those herbs for marijuana, but knew it wasn't, being around Kobe who smoked it around her on occasions.
„So what are you going to show me," inquired Laura.
Marina looked up and answered, „Well, I'm going to give you the opportunity to see your father."
„You mean take me to heaven?" guessed Laura.
Marina looked up at Laura while grinding the herbs, looked down and hinted, „You could say that."
After the herbs were ground into powder, Marina added some chemical onto the powder, lit a match and threw it into the mortar. Flames shot out, but waned quickly as the flame burnt out, and thick vapor rose up slowly.
„Here Laura, breathe in the essence and think about your father," instructed Marina, handing Laura the mortar and she took it from her hands.
Laura held the mortar close to her face and held it under her nose, feeling the vapor moisten her skin, and she deeply inhaled the vapor through her nose. When she breathed out, the vapor did not exit out of any of her orifices, and the effects of the herbs made her lightheaded and acuminated her vision. Marina was in her field of vision, completely in focus while the background behind her was a blur and started to go somber.
„Laura, hold my hands and look into my eyes," commanded Marina. Laura obeyed, held hands with Marina and looked deep into her eyes. Laura did feel nervous about her state of condition and taking what she assumed to be drugs into her system.
All of a sudden, a single wasp flew into her line of sight and hovered in front of her face. The wasp attempted to gain entry into Laura's slightly opened mouth, but she was able to seal her lips tightly; denying the wasp entry into her body.
„No Laura, you have to let it in you…" said Marina, stroking Laura's face. "Just trust me okay," pleaded Marina, squeezing Laura's hands and smiling to encourage her.
Laura gulped and nervously opened her mouth, allowing the wasp entry. She felt the wasp vibrate in her mouth and against her palate, but did not feel it in the back of her throat. Her vision started to distort with Marina still in focus, and the background faded into a gloomy and desolate forrest. Laura looked up into the night sky, where no stars were sighted, only dark visible clouds colliding with one another. A flock of birds, which Laura could not quite identify, flew across the sky with a loud flutter of their wings.
Laura looked at Marina who looked at her and acknowledged her presence with a smile, which made her feel secure that her companion was accompanying her in this alternative dimension.
„Where are we Marina? Is this heaven?" asked Laura.
Marina giggled and replied, „No, this is purgatory, well from what I know."
„Is my father here?" asked Laura surveying her surroundings not seeing anyone other than Marina in sight.
„He is," confirmed Marina, as she got up and so did Laura subsequently. Marina stretched out her arm and pointed into the the trees, where they made an arch. „Walk into the woods, and your father will appear before you," directed Marina. The thought turned Laura's stomach with skepticism, worried that it might be a trap, but she trusted Marina and took her word for it.
„Okay," gabbled Laura, and she slowly destined her way into the dark abyss of the woods without looking back, determined to encounter her deceased father.
Once Laura was deep in the woods, she became very nervous and intimidated by the dead crooked trees (which bared no leaves) that surrounded her. She breathed in and out, but each time she exhaled, shivered and went pale, she could feel her stomach churn; and was inclined to throw up.
Unexpectedly, a bright white light, which did not blind Laura or even make her blink; illuminated the wooded area, turning the trees as white as white could be. In that blaze of light an unidentified humanoid figure advanced, and the closer it approached, the figure became recognizable. The approaching figure was a broad shouldered, 40 year old man with short spiked up dark hair, who Laura immediately recognized as her father "Paul Woodson".
This recognition lit up the light in her eyes, and she was smiling all over her face, she cried with joy. „Daddy," cried Laura, and her father responded gracefully and sentimentally as he stretched out his arms.
„Laura," uttered Paul lovingly and endearing.
Laura ran to her father and wrapped her arms around him and kissed him on the cheek, which felt real to the touch. Her father hugged her tightly, placed one hand on the back of her head and they both cried together. „I missed you so much daddy," cried Laura.
„I missed you too sweetie," responded Paul with a curved open smile on his face.
After a long and passionate embrace, they released each other. They paused to give each other time to let their reunion sink in and commence conversation.
„You've grown, you've grown so beautiful and vivacious, just like your mother," expressed Paul, examining the resemblance of Laura's mother.
The thought of possessing the same charisma and charm as her mother, caused Laura to smile and chortle. „Oh daddy," giggled Laura, she blushed as did her father too.
„I've begun to study psychology, just to follow in your footsteps," disclosed Laura.
„I know, I've been watching you from above," confirmed Paul with a smile, „You've made me proud."
Paul placed his hands on her and cupped her face, and Laura closed her eyes, stroking the back of his hands.
„I love you daddy!" cried Laura.
„I love you too greenbean," replied Paul.
„Daddy," giggled Laura.
„Well you didn't think it was just your mother that called you that?" remarked Paul.
„No, of course I remember you calling me „greenbean" too, mainly because how small I was as a baby," recalled Laura.
„That's right, even when you were a little toddler you were so tiny," described Paul. The conversation halted, and Laura proceeded to seek advice from her father.
„I have an issue, which requires your proficiency," mooted Laura.
Paul titled his head to one side and obliged, „Sure, what's the problem you need help with?"
Laura tucked her bottom lip under her top teeth, took a deep breath and confessed, „Well I recently came out of a relationship, I do sort of want to get back together with him, but I have my doubts; mainly because I think I have feelings for someone else."
„What was your relationship like?" asked Paul. Laura licked her lips before giving an analysis.
„Well first of all, his name is Tyler, he was a really caring and loving boyfriend; who was always concerned for my safety and wellbeing, but he was a little too overprotective and controlling. One night, he accused me of being unfaithful to him, and he kicked me out of his flat that we both shared," divulged Laura, while her father attentively listened and fixed his eyes on her, like the good listener he was.
„Sounds like a really affectionate and devoted lover you had, but overreacted because of an insecurity in the relationship, am I right?" quizzed Paul.
Laura nodded and confirmed, „Yeah, he was insecure, wouldn't let me give my side of the story and forcibly ejected me. I'm still really upset about that."
„I'm sure in time that traumatic event will fade, but the question is... do you love him?" questioned Paul with his hand over his mouth.
Laura hesitated and answered, „I do, well I think him and I do need a break, because the last thing I need is to be distracted from rekindling my relationship. Besides, I don't know if I can trust him again."
„Trust takes time, longer than it takes to forgive somebody; the best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them" quoted Paul.
Laura gave a long pause, and mulled over the idea of forgiving Tyler before trusting him, and giving the relationship another chance.
„I suppose that's what I should do now, is try and forgive Tyler and in time, maybe consider a relationship," cogitated Laura, reflecting on her decision to not haste her way back into the relationship.
„That's my girl, you're still youthful and developing. The right relationship will come along, but your education should be top priority," advised Paul.
Laura smiled and agreed, „I know daddy, I still have much to accomplish, before I think about settling down."
Paul smiled upon hearing his daughter's wise and judicious words, knowing that his daughter is going in the direction he hoped.
„There is another issue I have, which I need help with," revealed Laura.
Paul affably responded, „Of course, that's what I'm here for."
„I have this one friend… her name is Marina; and she's obviously a deeply troubled girl, who fears abandonment," disclosed Laura.
„Okay I can see where this is going," reacted Paul.
„I just happened to be the very first person who accepted her socially, and she took it too far by stalking and obsessing over me. She even assumed that I invited her to my birthday party, and I told her a little white lie, that there was no longer a party and that it would be only Tyler and I going out to dinner. Of course she found out the truth and confronted me, we both got into a little fight," elucidated Laura.
„Well are you still friends with her now?" asked Paul.
„I did rekindle the friendship, and she in return became less forward and coercive, but I'm unsure how I truly feel about her," responded Laura.
„What do you feel about Marina?" inquired Paul with a curious frown.
„I do feel sorry for her, and I'm strongly inclined to help her, but she was coming on too strong for me and it scared me. No that's not the truth, part of it was because of peer pressure, and I knew that was selfish," confided Laura.
„I can understand that you were inclined to help her, and a dark disturbing secret about her was unveiled. Well I can assure you that I worked with mentally disturbed patients, who gave me nightmares and sleepless nights, but I knew that it comes with the job. Having the courage to examine them was my job," stated Paul.
„I guess I just don't have the same courage as you," admitted Laura.
Paul smiled and continued to advise his daughter, „You get used to it, you cannot let the patient get into your head… about peer pressure, it's okay to have your personal life and have your own friends, but don't let it deter you from doing what you want to do. If you want to help Marina you should help her."
Laura looked to the ground and hesitated before she expressed her concern, she confessed, „I'm hoping that she wont depend on me to help her keep her life on track. I'm hoping there'll come a day when she wont need me anymore, but the truth is, there's a part of me that doesn't want to let her go. I'm too concerned for her safety."
„Just concerned or is there something else?" queried Paul.
Laura reluctantly admitted, „Well, I want to give Marina something no one else can give her, I want her to be loved; because she's never been loved before."
Paul's eyes widened upon hunching the possibility about a change in his daughter's sexuality, he asked, „Are you a lesbian, or coming out as one?"
Laura frowned and hesitated, and the guilty thought that maybe it was true; maybe she is coming out gay, and is embarrassed to tell her father about it.
„Daddy, I have to admit my guilty pleasure and reveal my embarrassing secret… one time Marina forced a kiss on me, and I have to admit, I kind of liked it. I could really feel the tenderness and passion," confessed Laura.
„Maybe you might be bisexual, it doesn't mean it doesn't develop at a later age," implied Paul.
„I do on occasions think about kissing her again, but I don't know if I should hold out for Tyler. Or maybe I should shift my focus onto Marina, and try a relationship with her," apprehended Laura.
„If there's one thing you should do, is explore your sexuality, don't be deterred by being ashamed of your sexual orientation. Don't forget, it's not a disorder you have. All you need to do is give this experimental relationship a chance if you really are curious, that way you'll know and realize who you are, and if you want to continue a relationship with her," recommended Paul.
„What if I hurt her feelings and the trauma is too much for her to take?" asked Laura, fretting the idea that Marina would be devastated by a break up. Everything would revert back to the way it was, and Marina's confidence would be shattered.
„If it turns out that Marina is not the one for you, then break up with her at the right time, and let her down gently," advised Paul. A long pause lingered over the atmosphere for comprehension.
„You know what, I think I'll continue to help Marina and maybe give this experimental relationship a try," suggested Laura with a smile of confidence.
„That's the spirit my greenbean, I'm sure you'll make a great psychiatrist, just like your daddy," praised Paul.
„Thank you daddy, I will make you proud," responded Laura.
„I've got to go now, but I will always cherish this moment to have seen you a grown girl, just as I hoped when I watched you grow," said Paul.
Laura smiled and agreed, „I understand, I'm so happy we got to meet again, and I will show you I can help this troubled girl."
Father and daughter exchanged smiles, and as the lights of heaven casted a bright light, which illuminated the area. Paul leant forward to kiss his daughter on the forehead, and Laura closed her eyes, basking the loving touch of her father. When Laura opened her eyes, she had her hand lightly gripping her father's. He stepped backwards into the light. They let their fingers slip until they were no longer touching hands, and her father disappeared into the light. It reminded her of the ending of the Patrick Swayze film "Ghost". She watched until the light dimmed and faded, reverting back to the shady and gloomy scene she stepped into. With nothing left to see, she turned around and walked back.
Walking through the quiet lonesome corridor of trees, Laura found her way back to Marina, who was awaiting her return with a gleeful smile. Once the two were together again, Marina offered Laura her hand and asked, „Are you ready to go back now?"
„Yeah," responded Laura. She smiled and took Marina's hand, joined hands, and sat crosslegged facing each other. Marina closed her eyes, breathed tensely through her nostrils and held her breath as Laura did the same.
When the two opened up their eyes, they were back in Marina's bedroom, where it was still daylight and everything was the same it was. The two giggled playfully, and Laura acclaimed, „Marina that was amazing, I never thought you were so multi talented."
„Well I had time to devote myself to such hobbies," explained Marina, getting the mortar off the bed and packing up all the materials she used to conjure the spell.
Laura watched Marina clean up all her witchcraft materials and put them away, ruminating her father's advise about exploring her possible bicurious side. She licked her lips and filled her lungs with the air needed to talk to Marina, and get her attention.
„Marina," called Laura.
Marina impulsively turned round to face Laura and acknowledged, „Yes Laura."
Laura extended her arm with her palm open, beckoned with her fingers and requested, „Could you come here please?"
Marina curiously walks towards Laura and took her hand, was lead to sit back on the bed and they crosslegged like before. „I want to thank you for giving me the opportunity to see my dad again," thanked Laura, stroking Marina's hands.
„My pleasure Laura, I just wanted to give you what no one else could give you," clarified Marina, loving the affectionate contact she was receiving from Laura. She looked down to see Laura apply such tenderness to her hands with her thumbs.
„Look at me," said Laura, Marina looked Laura in the eyes, „Marina, you can if you want to."
„You mean I can?" exclaimed Marina, as her eyes lit up and Laura nodded and hummed, indicating that Marina has permission to kiss her.
Marina gasped and smiled, feeling speechless to give a response with words, but her reaction and expression of elation was enough to gratify Laura. She tried to take control of her breathing with a large butterfly stuck in her esophagus, still fluttering and trying to fly its way out. She savored the opportunity to indulge in her first real kiss with Laura, she moved in closer. She brushed Laura's hair back over her ears to clear any strands of hair dangling over her face. Laura tittered and relished Marina's fingers combing the roots past her temple and scalp.
Marina applied both of her thumbs on Laura's lips, and ran them to the oral commissures of her mouth, feeling how soft, delicate and smooth they were. When her thumbs had brushed past the lips, Laura raised a smile, enticing Marina and intensifying her excitement.
Marina begun to moisten her lips, as Laura did the same. Marina licked the inside of her lip to separate her lips apart, and Laura slipped her bottom lip under the top lip to moisten her bottom lip.
Marina prepared herself to move in for the kiss. Her heart raced with excitement, and the sensation of butterflies in her stomach, with the big butterfly fluttering in her throat tingling. She slowly and gently inclined herself towards Laura's smiling face, who was also inclining herself to meet Marina's lips. When the two had their faces close to one another, they slowly closed their eyes, and prepared for the collision of their lips. Their lips touched and they caressed each other's lips, feeling the moistness and their own bubble they were dwelling in. Their tongues clicked with their lips smacking together with each kiss they bestowed. After three passionate kisses performed in a slow rhythm, they separated themselves. They drew their heads back and letting their lips break apart, then maintained eye contact.
„Laura that was amazing, you're such a good kisser," complimented Marina, whose voice was effected by the rush.
„Thank you Marina… you know, you don't kiss like an amateur," perplexed Laura. She was expecting Marina to either kiss too wet, miss her lips or accidentally bite.
„I… I've been watching movies, that's how I learnt," jittered Marina, but Laura looked at her dubiously. „Okay I have been practicing on an orange," confessed Marina, and then they both bursted into laughter.
Once the laughter concluded, they continued to make eye contact and Laura announced, „I plan to visit my mum this weekend, I was going to invite Tyler along, but as you know him and I are taking a break. I was wondering if you would like to meet my mum and stay round for dinner?"
Marina was elated and responded, „Of course, that would be great."
„On one condition," snapped Laura with her finger pointed up, „You need another make over, but this time from a professional."
Marina beamed on the thought of having a make over, as Laura ran her fingers through Marina's hair. „Okay," agreed Marina enthusiastically.
„Very good, we'll arrange a time to go shopping and visit a beautician," suggested Laura. Laura took her phone out of her bag and gawked at the time. She put the phone back in the bag, looked at Marina and said, „I've got to be going now, but I'll keep in touch and inform you about our next meeting... okay?"
„Okay," conceded Marina.
Laura smiled, held Marina's hands and said, „Take care of yourself Marina."
„You too Laura," responded Marina. Laura kissed Marina on the lips and got off the bed and took her leave.
Marina remained seated on the bed and watched Laura see herself out. Once she was gone, Marina threw herself backwards onto the bed with joy and content. She hugged herself tight, and with upmost passion whispered, „I love you Laura."
To be continued...
