Resolve

- Bastila Shan -


The blaster wound warmed my side with pulses of agony. I wrapped the pain up in detachment, and continued running. I could hear her footsteps echoing close behind, and my mind screamed at me in fear.

There is no emotion; there is peace.

The service tunnel exited into the back maintenance corridors of the swoop track. I halted, glancing wildly about as I tried to judge which direction to take. Sentients were sprinting past, most garbed in oil-stained coveralls that proclaimed them as mechanics. A few exclaimed loudly, jabbering in dialects too furious or foreign for me to decipher.

The panic made it clear, though: the gang fighting still raged, and I had to assume the hunt for me was on.

My companion nudged me, then; pointing silently to an emergency exit from the swoop complex, outlined in a galactically recognizable red and white. I ran straight for the door, hands grasping tight to yank the chrome bolt upwards, before shoving my weight against the heavy metallic barricade that stood between us and ephemeral freedom.

The exit groaned open as my supposed rescuer barreled into it, adding her strength to mine. An alarm wailed in immediate complaint; I darted through the opening and turned, already raising my hand as my accomplice followed.

The Force surged to my call. Comforting, familiar, powerful. A presence that, when denied to me, had been a more frightening experience than I would have foreseen.

The door slammed shut beneath my desire. Even through inches of whatever substandard metal composite was used on this dissolute planet, we could still hear a loud clang as the bolt dropped into place on the other side.

Followed shortly thereafter by the echoes of coarse yells and blaster fire. We had to move.

My limbs sped forth once more; I barely took in my surroundings as we both dashed forward blindly. Uneven, cracked walling formed the tunnels of habitation. Intermittent lighting threw shadowed ghosts that chased us as we ran into darker alleys. I strained to see, even to regulate my own breathing – and behind me came the hoarse pants of the woman who followed. The sound sent a staccato reminder of what was truly at stake.

You cannot make a person out of a beast. My father's sage advice, after my miserable attempt at raising a kath pup.

Let serenity dictate your actions; emotions simply blur logical judgments. That was from Master Vrook.

I fervently wished I still had my lightsaber.

Three exits beckoned at the end of the narrow tunnel. I choose the left one; a dark, twisting alleyway, and continued running.

My plan had been simple. Wait until some egregious lowlife won that childish competition. Wait until I was led away, submissive and apparently impotent. And then, make my move. All that, ruined by gang members and their precipitous tempers.

The tunnel split in two; again, I choose the left.

"Stop!" the woman hissed behind me. My legs jerked; halting suddenly, almost tumbling over one another. I spun around to see my companion slither into a side exit I had not even noticed.

The spike of alarm was hard to swallow down. Steeling myself, I darted after her.

Blackened walls closeted me on both sides. The artificial lighting of the Lower City had fled in terror from this place, and I could feel the acrid taste of panic rising to gnaw at the edges of my control.

It was a struggle merely to harness the Force, even just to sense the woman.

I am not prepared. The truth was more than simply a blow to my ego; it was a damning indictment of my competency – or lack thereof. I am not prepared to face Revan. Not like this.

Faith, child. Master Vrook may have been sparing with his praise, but his encouragement was always steadfast. You must have faith.

I had faced Revan before, in far more alarming circumstances. I had triumphed; surprisingly, amazingly, against overwhelming odds. I would not falter, not here.

The Force drew in deep; steady, assiduous and calming. I breathed in, and allowed it to settle into my core.

"We should be safe here for a few minutes," Revan- Jen whispered to me. Her face was a spectre in the shadows. "We have a lead on the Vulkars now, and I doubt they'd spot this alley if you didn't."

"Why are we stopping?" I demanded, and cursed the waver I heard in my voice.

She uttered no response, and a second later I heard an electronic beep.

"Are you guys there?" Jen hissed. There was a crackle of static, and it took a second to comprehend she was no longer addressing me.

I am indebted to her. I may have formulated my own escape from the restraints, but it is Revan who extracted me from the swoop track. The thought was sobering. Yet her own debts to humanity itself were beyond the region of appalling; truly, I owed her nothing.

But, why? Why has she rescued me?

::Jen! Dammit, I saw that fight on the holo-screens! We feared the worst – what in the blazes happened?:: a male voice snapped out from what must be her comm-link.

To my utter astonishment, I heard her laugh. A response, in a situation like this, so unlike the shy scholar that an icy horror crawled through my veins. How much of what remains is Revan? My mind touched on the ever-present bond that linked us; amusement wafted from her like smoke from a campfire. The emotion was more potent than her fear.

And I wasn't sure - but I thought I had felt her reach out to the Force earlier.

That alone made me want to run away, gibbering. Jen Sahara should not be able to remember such a thing. It was fortunate the bond allowed me to block her access, which had become instinctual – but the very idea she might be actively seeking the Force was, simply, frightening.

There is no passion; there is serenity.

"No time for lectures, Flyboy! We need help, and we need it now," Revan- Jen said in a low voice. Jen Sahara, I reminded myself. I must think of her as such.

::Zaalbar and I are already scouring the alleyways. Where are you?:: the voice demanded.

"No idea, Mission might know. Can I speak to her?"

::Uh, she's been missing since you left.:: A crackling howl of some description followed the response.

"Balls of a rancor!" Revan swore, and I winced instinctively.

Oh, who am I fooling? The realization was as irritating as it was perilous. Jen Sahara would never blurt such an epithet.

"Never mind," Revan continued, voice deep and intent. "We'll head to the Upper City – see you in the hideout."

::Don't do anything stup-:: A click, and the comm-link turned off. I sensed Revan turn to face me. I resisted the urge to shrink back from what I knew to be her piercing green gaze. You cannot make a person out of a beast. Why had I even tried?

Because she had been a person, once.

"We need to get to the Upper City. There may be some old maintenance shafts around here – I don't think we can risk going through the main entrance," she was saying, as she shuffled something over her head.

I could not quite tell, but she almost appeared to be removing her clothes.

"What are you doing?" My voice, firm and resolved. The Force echoed a deep thrum of reassurance in my grasp.

"Shedding my overalls," she drawled, and the lilt of mirth in her voice was evident. "I don't think you really want to wander around Taris half-naked."

My cheeks burned as I realized the state of my undress. That- that Brejik. That slimy, good-for-nothing- I forced the bright anger back under control with some effort. I could not entirely quell the desire to see that degenerate dead, for all that I had endured.

Revan threw me the crumpled clothing. As I hastily searched for the fasteners, it struck me that the leadership role had shifted. I must take charge. I must postpone the mission, and get her to the masters. I lifted a leg awkwardly in the darkness, struggling to pull the musty overalls up around my waist. I must get myself to the masters.

"Good idea," I offered, as I shrugged the clothing over my shoulders. "Now. What is your plan of action from here?"

There was an odd blast of incredulity from within the bond. I somehow had the sense she was staring at me in disbelief. "To get away from the guys trying to kill us!"

She moved back to the opening of the narrow alley as I affixed the final fastener. "Who were you talking to?" I demanded, one step behind her.

"Your boyfriend," Revan murmured. Her voice was wry, and once more thrumming with amusement.

"I beg your pardon?" I snapped. Even the mere thought of such set my cheeks burning.

She stifled a chuckle. "Carth Onasi."

The sense of relief was all-encompassing. Captain Onasi! Now this rescue makes sense! If Revan was following his orders, then that confirmed the situation was salvageable. She did not know who she truly was. But I do not believe she is entirely Jen Sahara anymore. Still, there was hope. Everything could still be on track.

"Captain Onasi is alive!" I enthused, allowing myself a small sigh of relief. "That is good news. But we're not out of danger, yet. You must tell me what kind of resources we can draw on, if I am going to figure out a way to extract us from here."

Talk about your all-time spoilt Jedi brats!

I stiffened in hot indignation as her thought crested sharply between us. Revan might have no awareness of our bond, but the Force-link was a constant curse in my mind. Her uppermost thoughts fed through to me with startling ease.

"Look, lady, I'm taking you back to Flyboy, and then I'm off." Her voice was cold.

Oh, no, you are certainly not. My determination swelled, banking down the fear that battled for supremacy. "My name is Bastila Shan, if you do not recall from the Endar Spire," I said archly. "But we shall discuss it later. For now, we should get a move on."

"Sun and stars, you brought it up!" she exclaimed petulantly. She huffed, before spinning around, and darting deep into the bowels of alley. "Just- just sodding well follow me so we can get out of here!"

There is no chaos; there is harmony.

I would not allow my fists to clench in fruitless anger. For all of her irreverence, Revan's approach was likely the wisest – we should keep moving, and fast.

"Jen!" a kid's voice squeaked deeper in the darkness, and halted our stride.

"Mission?" Revan gasped, her voice laced with surprise. I'm going to kill that reckless girl!

Fright struck hard; the Force responded, swelling in my grasp, ready to stun Revan at my will. I could not- I would not allow her to react with such flagrant and cavalier disregard for life.

"That was so intense!" the voice gushed. The form of a young girl slowly coalesced from the shadows ahead.

"You're in so much trouble," Revan muttered. I was on the precipice of throwing her into a Force-induced stasis when she laughed.

Laughed. Again.

The surprise alone held me back.

The girl called Mission huffed. And at that moment, I fully interpreted Revan's chaotic mess of emotions that echoed through our bond. Fear. Fear, rather than anger. Fear for the girl's safety?

It seemed… incongruous. Hard to believe. But the relief that surged from my bond-mate was now mirrored by my own. For a brief moment there, I had been afraid myself. Afraid of witnessing the return of Revan. Darth Revan.

"Trouble? Look, I did what you asked, okay?" the girl retorted. "I stayed out of the fighting. But, sheesh, I freaked when I saw the race!" She took a step closer. The shadows clung to the girl, but I could pick out a visor strapped around a young face. A set of Twi'leki lekku curled tight around her neck. "So, I hacked into one of the control computers, and tracked you on the holo-cams. I had to switch to the Bek grid when you went out the service tunnel – that was wizard by the way! The swoops behind you were about to-"

"Mission!" Revan spoke over the girl's onslaught, but her voice was warm and amused. "You're the amazing one. But we need to move. Know of a back way to the Upper City from here?"

"The Upper City? But I thought-"

"The Bek base won't be safe, after that slaughter," Revan muttered, cutting the Twi'lek off. Not entirely sure I'll be welcome, after pinching Anglu's swoop.

Her rash thought made me realize just how ill-planned and spontaneous this rescue had been. Either Revan's plan had completely imploded, or she hadn't had one in the first place.

Although, I could have been more tactful with my first words to her, I realized with some chagrin.

"Alright!" the kid agreed brightly. "Follow me!"

The girl led us further down the dark tunnel, and we followed her silently. Revan's emotions had settled down, and all I could sense from her now was an icy determination. I cannot let her get away. I realized I needed to use all my persuasive powers to convince Revan to journey with me. But that could wait, until we were in a safe place.

Mission led us to an abandoned elevator shaft. There was still no light whatsoever, and I wondered how Revan could find her way around. The Twi'lek had a visor, but Revan did not. Her ability to move through darkness disturbed me. She may not be who she once was, but she is not behaving how she should be, either.

"This hasn't been used in years. We can climb up the service ladders – they exit in a junkyard on the bad side of Upper Taris," Mission informed us as she twisted inside the hole. I wondered briefly what had happened to the elevator itself.

"There's a bad side of Upper Taris?" Revan muttered. It almost sounded sarcastic.

"Well, not bad like the Lower City. But generally where the aliens hang out. And some of the gangs."

"I think we had best avoid them, then." I said primly.

"That's the idea," Mission said brightly. I was glad to hear no sarcasm in her voice.

The agility of the girl surprised me, as I sensed her climb up the supporting railings in the shaft. Revan followed more slowly, occasionally muttering to herself. I did not have too much trouble, with the Force as my ally. The pain in my side had dulled to a distant throbbing. Soon I will take care of that.

As we ascended, a thin ray of weak light slowly pervaded our surroundings. My muscles ached despite my own strength. I cannot wait for some time in a refresher unit. I had been feeling dirty for far too long. I could still feel demanding, violent hands upon my skin, and I inwardly cursed Brejik to the darkest corner of the Outer Rim.

Yet I had to feel grateful that it had been a swoop gang who captured me, rather than the Sith. For all the indignities I had suffered under Brejik, he could have done worse.

He almost did. That time I escaped from his grasp. That time he realized he was dealing with a Jedi, not a fugitive Republic officer.

It must have been days ago, now. I had run free from a winded Brejik, and it had only been due to a lucky stun bolt from one of his men that I did not make it far enough. When I woke again, it was to a pounding headache and a disruptor cinched tightly around my neck.

A neural inhibitor could be overcome by Force-strength or inner will, but those kaiburr-based disruptors... they were rare, difficult to procure or purchase, and impossible to disable with the Force. In that moment, I had felt the taste of despair more bitter and bleak than I had ever known. There was no way to stop Brejik from enacting his most monstrous desires, no way to stop him from gifting me to the Sith...

But I soon came to realize that everything had changed with my calamitous escape attempt.

Brejik still continued his preposterous campaign of a swoop championship, but his manner toward me now held a reserve that had been lacking before. Perhaps it was because he feared the reprisal of a Jedi, or maybe he enjoyed drawing out the anticipation, but he did not subject me to any further violations – and certainly not the worst one of all.

I am lucky. The Force is with me.

Brejik decided a local swoop competition was of greater benefit to him than selling me out to the Sith.

I managed to free my hands and disable that cursed disruptor enroute to the swoop track.

All I have suffered is rough manhandling and lewd remarks.

I still felt unclean, and abused.

I gritted my teeth, pushed the tumultuous thoughts away, and followed the others.

The climb felt long. Each step was an arduous feat done in silence, broken only by the occasional grunt of effort from one of us. As the environs lightened, I allowed my attention to fix upon the others, while my feet climbed ever upward.

The girl Twi'lek was garbed in vivid green synthetics; a figure-hugging outfit the easily displayed her agility as she scurried up the ladders with the grace of youth. Revan, in contrast, had donned what looked like scale mesh beneath the overalls I now wore. The weight of her armour seemed to hamper her little; either that, or it was a sheer force of will urging her forward, matching pace with the speedy girl in front.

Once, Revan's physical form had been nothing but tightly packed muscle over a skeleton. She certainly did not have the same physique now, and nor was it the Force lending her strength. And yet... and yet it was not the bodily weak and emotionally fragile Jen Sahara I now had to control.

"We're here!" Mission hissed, and I looked up in surprise to see the youth scramble out of sight. Both Revan and I were quick to follow.

As I scrambled over the ledge of the empty elevator shaft, my first impression was one of enclosure. We were surrounded on all sides by dull high-rise buildings that looked both utilitarian and drab in appearance. Littered on the ground were various heaps of metallic rubble and broken machinery. In the distance, a group of Ithorians were bending over something I could not make out.

A beep cut through our silence; I turned, to see Revan tapping at the device on her wrist.

::Jen, where are you? Zaalbar's getting desperate, if his howls are anything to go by,:: a voice rapped out, accompanied by a roar from someone else. That must be Carth. I wonder who Zaalbar is. Could that be a Wookiee, here on Taris? As preposterous as the idea was, the howl sounded suspiciously like one.

"We're fine, in the Upper City. Mission's with us. Meet you at the apartment," Revan replied succinctly, before switching off the communicator.

"Big Z's gonna yell at me," the Twi'lek muttered sulkily.

I saw Revan grin at her. "Mission, can you get us to an apartment building? It's near a cantina."

Mission groaned at Revan. "How many cantinas do you think are in Upper Taris? Sheesh, and how many apartment buildings?"

"Well, the cantina hosts a dueling ring run by a Hutt called Ajuur, if that's any help."

The girl brightened. "We're close by! That's in the alien quarter, where we are. Follow me!"

We managed to avoid any Sith, but I saw some in the distance. It made me suddenly glad for the nondescript overalls I wore; appreciative for the foresight of the one who dogged my every thought.

Revan took over the lead as we entered a run-down building. She strode over to a door, pulled out a tech spike and started slicing the locking mechanism with practiced ease. That's not a skill Jen Sahara knows. A cold chill danced down my spine. Revan looked up at me suddenly, green eyes intent. Can she sense the bond? Fear pricked pimples along my arms. I hurriedly detached myself from it, and attempted to throw her a benevolent smile. She blinked warily at me, and turned back to the electronic lock.

"Hey, you're not bad," Mission commented as the door opened beneath Revan's ministrations. "Not as good as me, though." The Twi'lek grinned cheekily, drawing a laugh from Revan as we entered the room.

Revan's self-proclaimed hideout was no more than a one-room apartment, with dingy, stained walls and a cracked plasticeel floor. The sole bunk bore a rumpled blanket, with a knapsack of gear littered near the foot. The other wall boasted a tiny kitchenette that had obviously seen better days.

"Is this where you have been camping out?" I asked.

"Uh, more or less," Revan muttered.

"So," Mission interrupted brightly, turning to face me. "I'm Mission by the way!"

The girl was beaming at me. I tried to answer her welcoming smile with my own. "It is nice to meet you, Mission." I wasn't sure if I should offer to shake her hand. How did Tarisians act upon first introductions? "I thank you for your assistance," I told her. My sentiment was genuine, but I had the sinking feeling that my words came across as stilted. "My name is Bastila."

I was saved from any further social awkwardness by the door opening.

Carth Onasi strode in, followed by the towering form of a Wookiee. My eyes widened in surprise, despite the fact I had already wondered at the species of the one named Zaalbar.

"Bastila!" Carth greeted. His warm brown eyes creased in relief. "Finally, things are looking up."

"Captain Onasi, it is good to see you again."

Carth crooked a smile at me. "Under the circumstances, Bastila, I think we can dispense with formalities. Call me Carth."

My unease dissipated. I had not much to do with Captain Onasi on the Endar Spire, but I trusted his loyalty to the Republic. A famous war-hero, Carth Onasi had been stationed onboard the Endar Spire in an advisory capacity, commanding the pilots who navigated the Hammerhead-class cruiser in the name of our quest.

Our quest, which had so disastrously failed before we had come anywhere near our destination. My eyes closed briefly, and I once more struggled to detach myself from the despair that had loomed within me since the first alarm on the Endar Spire had sounded.

"(Mission!)" The Wookiee had loped over to the Twi'lek girl, before picking her up bodily.

I felt the tang of apprehension flare to life in my belly. The Wookiee fair towered over the girl. I could not trust Revan's strange companions-

"(You should not have been there! I should not have let Jen talk me into it!)"

The Twi'lek struggled in his furry arms. "Let me down, Big Z!" she squealed.

The apprehension grew as I wildly considered intervening. Why were the others not saying anything-

"(No!)" the menacing Wookiee howled. "(You keep running into danger, and scaring me witless!)"

I blinked. The meaning of his words registered, and abruptly I could sense the source of the Wookiee's distress. Concern, pure and simple – which immediately assuaged my doubts.

I felt the soft puff of a relieved sigh escape my lips.

"Zaalbar, you should blame me," Revan said quietly to the Wookiee. "I needed her skills, her ability to sneak onto the track. I did my best to keep her from danger-"

"I ain't a kid!" Mission protested hotly.

"-but if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have been free to rescue Bastila." Her eyes slid to mine, then, guarded and wary, and I recalled my earlier words. Embarrassment flushed through me; I had never felt at ease in social situations with normal people, let alone mind-wiped former Sith Lords.

I swallowed, and forced my mind to focus on the intangible mind-link between us. It was resonating with the maelstrom of her chaotic emotions.

Suspicion. Fear. Fear of... me?

Could she be just as scared of me as I am of her?

I was not certain, but the thought alone was enough to calm me.

"Thank you. All of you," I said quietly, keeping my eyes intent on Revan's green gaze.

Zaalbar put Mission down gently.

"(Jen)," the Wookiee wailed. "(I cannot-)"

And then, I realized, Revan had been following their conversation intently. She can understand Shyriiwook. Jen Sahara had known only a smattering of languages, half of them dead for millennia and of interest only to academics. She certainly had not the knowledge of the Wookiee language.

But perhaps this is a skill that would stay with her regardless? Perhaps the knowledge of a language is not something that would disappear, even under massive head trauma and a personality implant?

I had to believe that, for the thought of Revan relearning some of her old talents was horrifying.

"Big Z, calm down, okay?" the Twi'lek was saying. "Jen needed some help, and I was the only one who could do it. You'd put yourself in danger to help as well, if you could! Let me do my part, alright?" She finished on a scowl.

Carth sighed suddenly. "Whatever you guys are arguing about, you may as well drop it. Jen's determined to be insanely reckless, and for some odd reason it seems to pay off. Bastila's here, and alive."

Insanely reckless. Carth's words, exasperated and weary, were not an accurate description of the Jen Sahara that had been on the Endar Spire. As if I did not need yet another reminder that the personality implant was shaking loose. The Force healers said the chances of her recalling anything did not fall within a plausible range of probability. That the identity of Jen Sahara was firmly enmeshed. What has changed since then?

I would think on it later. For now, it was time to steer the conversation back on track.

"Well, enough of this. We should be talking about the plan to get off Taris," I intervened, hoping to end the discussion.

"I knew it!" Mission said. She threw an exuberant grin at the Wookiee. "Big Z, we're going on an adventure!"

I blinked in surprise. My gaze slid sideways, to purvey a strange grimace dominating Revan's countenance.

"Um, Mission," Revan began. She dragged one hand roughly through her short mop. "I'm not going with them." The Twi'lek jerked around to stare at her in bemusement. I felt the same sense of determination from earlier, a steely resolve swell from within, but before I could utter a word Carth jumped straight in.

"That's right," he said, his words low and angry. "Just leave – walk out on the Republic and your promises to the Jedi Council."

"I'm not walking out on anybody." Revan clenched her teeth. Between us I could feel her dark emotions building. In a way, it was less surprising than Captain Onasi's anger. He was a professional and experienced Republic officer, and yet obviously felt the taint of betrayal at the thought of her desertion.

They have been together for some time. Perhaps it is not all that startling.

I cleared my throat. "You cannot walk out, Jen," I said smoothly. "You signed a contract with the Jedi Council, do you remember?"

She should, that was one of the artificial ones. That memory should bind her well and truly to the Council.

Revan's face drained of all colour, as her wide eyes gazed at me helplessly. The stink of nausea and fear stormed from her, but was replaced immediately with a white hot anger that overpowered everything else.

"That contract!" she spat suddenly. "I wouldn't sign anything like that! It's- it's effective slavery!"

"Do not be preposterous. It is an employment contract, Jen, no more and no less. You have agreed to work with us for three years in return for an ample salary and the start of your career." I sent her a steady look, inwardly clutching onto my serenity. I had to stay calm. "The Jedi do not look kindly upon people who walk out on such contracts."

She dares to threaten me? Her thought, undercut with a vicious fury, shattered my calm. It was quickly followed by another. No, I will not get angry, dammit! Maybe I should go with them. Just to get off Taris. And then do a bunk, since Mission wants to leave so much. I wonder if that's feasible? I saw Revan's face twist with suppressed emotions. That logic should so quickly follow rage scared me. Her last thought ran through my mind - No, it's too risky. I cannot go with them.

I could feel my panic rise up again, the turgid sense of losing control. My only ally was a Republic captain ignorant of all the pertinent details, and somehow I did not think Carth Onasi would sit back while I Force-compelled Revan to follow me.

I must ensure she returns with me to Dantooine.

But what if some part of her recalled the importance of that planet? I had to get her to the masters, before the persona of Jen Sahara truly vanished and the worst threat to the galaxy reemerged. Perhaps... perhaps if I could persuade her to travel somewhere neutral, somewhere that wouldn't pose any sort of perceived threat-

"Jen, perhaps you can accompany us to Alderaan to begin with. I am sure we could do with your skills, and those of your friends," I suggested, keeping my voice mild and unassuming. Including her new... friends seemed an assumption, were it not for the loyalty they seemed to exhibit toward her. Considering who she had once been, that loyalty was not altogether surprising, and their company might make her easier to convince. One way or another, I simple had to entice the shell of Revan to follow me. "If you still feel the need to run, then I cannot stop you. But let us work together, at least, to escape from Taris."

Revan's lips thinned as her face blanked of all perceivable emotion. She was staring hard at me, and I could not decipher any emotion through the bond.

"Alderaan?" Carth threw me a frown. "That's an interesting destination. Why Alderaan?"

"It is not far from Taris," I answered, my thoughts racing in sudden need. I had not anticipated his rejoinder, although I should have. "Alderaan hosts a Republic base, Carth, and it should be a safe enough haven for the others. I can contact who I need to when we arrive, and Jen can... Jen can go her own way."

A true Jedi does not lie. I forced the calm to stay on my face, and stared back at Revan. Slowly, slowly, her head dipped in a nod of acquiescence. Success.

"Okay," Revan said softly. Her eyes narrowed. "I'll join you until Alderaan."

xXx

I spent time later in the refresher, trying to erase the stink of the Vulkars. I could feel invisible marks imprinted on my body, and flashes of Brejik's treatment tormented my mind. I shuddered, and forced back tears.

I am a Jedi, I am at peace. Trials and tribulations only make me stronger.

Oh, how I wished that I had been in full control of the Force back on the swoop track! Brejik would have been dead. No, Jedi do not kill. I would not have killed him. I am better than that. I could not quite convince myself. The neural disruptor and the sedatives had left me helpless, like a child.

He could have... he did not, in the end, but he could have-

I vowed, in that moment, that I would never be helpless again.

The others were talking softly in the main room; I had left them to clean myself and change into a spare set of clothes Carth had dashed out to procure for me. In my head, Revan felt more at peace than before. Or perhaps the word was resolved. I closed my eyes wearily.

I did not expect to deal with her alone. Back on the Endar Spire, there had been a Jedi Master and a squad of knights accompanying me. While I had been called Commander, it was only a technicality. A safeguard, should I ever have need of immediate compliance from all allies should the worst happen. Hidden as a token gesture due to my battle meditation, the change in manifest command had been accepted - even if grudgingly so.

In truth, Master Galdea had led the group. He had been one of three who had completed the personality transplant, and Jen Sahara was under his watchful eye as much as mine. We spoke many times of the brief glimpses I managed to pull from Revan's fractured mind when she dreamed. We had no reason to be alarmed then. And now Master Galdea is gone. All of those onboard the Endar Spire, gone. Carth had told me I was the only Jedi to make it to out – the others, all, had fallen while standing their ground against the Sith.

Master Galdea had ordered me to the escape pods, to wait until the last minute for Ensign Ulgo to bring Jen Sahara. To bring Revan. So I had been useless, my battle meditation unable to help, while all my comrades were cut down like renni grass. My old friend Kylah, gone. I will never see her face again. I will never scold her for her irreverence again, nor shelter behind her protection-

Grief can come later. I swallowed, forcing the bleak emotions at bay. I did not have the luxury of breaking down.

I must focus on the task at hand.

We had been heading toward Tatooine, the first of the Star Maps. Although my battle meditation had elevated my public persona in the eyes of the Republic, it had been my vision of Revan and Malak that granted me at last some status within the Order. Enough that, at long last, even Master Vrook started dropping the occasional comment regarding my oft-delayed Knight Trials.

The vision still struck fear into me, even now. It had been months after I had captured Revan; months in which the former Sith Lord had been kept comatose and helpless within the enclave's walls. Months in which the masters debated fiercely what to do with her; redemption, certainly, was a hotly contested topic, but our experts had decried that her mind was too damaged, too broken, too unstable to even bring back a coherent shell-

I had not been cognizant of the deep Force bond which linked us, had not understood why my sleep was so riddled with shadows of darkness and ever-present grief. Not until the vivid memory shot clear through my mind, that fateful day.

Revan and Malak, entering a tomb on Dantooine. Back when they were still Jedi, but in name only, for the shadows of the Dark Side were already eroding their souls.

Back when they visited Dantooine, flushed with victory from the Mandalorian Wars and determined to antagonize a council that had had little to do with them – for they had been Coruscanti Jedi.

The Dantooine Council had believed the short stayover was merely a childish act, a chance for Revan and Malak to spout I-told-you-so to the nearest Jedi Masters, for the Jedi Thirteen were now galactic heroes, famous saviours of the Republic-

But their visit had been a ruse. Not even the wisest of masters had realized then it was merely a ploy; an opportunity for the two erstwhile lovers to discover the master Star Map.

An ancient relic of the Dark Side, located not far from the Jedi stronghold, that no one knew about. We still had no idea exactly what the Star Maps pointed to, but the master one on Dantooine gave us the location of the other four planets. The Council were convinced that it held the key to the might of the Sith armada, the massive fleet that kept expanding and was slowly, surely, winning the war.

Malak was now leading the Sith, after turning on his old master when she faced me. Malak didn't have her finesse – the Dark Side had warped his reason, and he appeared to be blindly attacking any target within range. But his forces were superior. And Revan had, already, wrecked great damage upon the Republic front.

Yet I could still remember them both as they were when I had first met them. Malak, inordinately handsome and charming. Revan, cheeky, likeable, and fun. Both of them seemed so good.

It was as Master Vrook said, never underestimate the lure of the Dark Side. But there must have been something innately venal in them both to begin with, surely?

Even when I had first met them, their emotions had been apparent and uncontrolled. I closed my eyes, and remembered...

I followed Kylah into the courtyard. Dust swirling upward from a gentle summer's breeze swept into my eyes. I winced, squinting them shut. In the distance, I could hear the audible shink shink of a lightsaber duel.

"That's Revan Freeflight and Malak Devari!" Kylah whispered in awe. "They must be visiting from Coruscant!"

I snapped my eyes back open. Across the vast expanse of the courtyard fought two figures; one fast and fierce, the other fast and strong.

Revan and Malak? I thought in wonderment. I'd heard about them; after all, who hadn't? Two Jedi taken by the Order very late in life, and already both Jedi Knights after five brief years. And I have been here over ten. I quenched that envious thought, and reminded myself of the humility needed by all Jedi alike.

I watched as Revan ducked and dodged Malak's more powerful attacks. In return she flurried a few quick blows, which he parried easily. I couldn't take my eyes off the fight. Revan's two sabers were evenly matched by Malak's double-bladed weapon. Their speed was incredible – but it was becoming clear that Malak's strength was superior.

I cannot duel with anywhere near their prowess, despite my extensive training.

But my talents lay with the mental side of the Force, I admonished myself. I would not envy others for their gifts.

"It's like a dance, isn't it?" Kylah commented. I nodded agreement whilst keeping my focus on the duel. Inwardly, I pegged Malak as the better, but they were both talented. Very talented.

With a powerful thrust of Force that seemingly came from nowhere, Malak was thrown backwards into the dust. Revan was on him in the blink of an eye, landing a pseudo fatal blow before he had a chance to recover.

"End game!" she crowed.

"Hey, that's not fair!" Malak complained, scrambling to his feet. "You said no Force powers!"

"Fair? Come on, never expect your enemy to be fair!" Revan was grinning, green eyes dancing with merriment. Malak scowled, before glancing our way. His expression stilled as his gaze met mine. I was abruptly aware of just how handsome the young, strong, powerful Jedi Knight was. His skin gleamed in the sunlight, sparking deep brown highlights in his tousled hair.

Shirtless and muscular, the man was every inch a warrior. The day suddenly felt unseasonably warm.

Malak threw me a warm smile, and began walking closer.

"I don't believe I have met you before?" the man asked as he neared. His light brown eyes were intent on mine, and I inwardly damned the flush that scoured my cheeks. I was not used to such attention from a stranger, and I did not desire it.

He may be seven years older than me, but I have as much training as him. I am not a foolish girl to collapse into incoherence. There is no emotion; there is peace.

"I- I am Bastila Shan," I stammered, and my gaze dropped despite myself.

"Pleased to meet you, beautiful Bastila. I am Malak Devari." He caught my flailing hand, and raised it to his mouth. His lips were warm, almost hot. I looked back into his eyes nervously; they seemed to shine just for me. He winked, and then looked back to Revan. I followed his gaze, and saw the Jedi Knight glaring at us.

"Really, Mal?" she scoffed. "This is about that spacer on Chandrila, isn't it? I told you why. I told you it was a misunderstanding. I don't play these sorts of games, and frankly-" she shot me a pitying look. "-it should be beneath you, too. I thought we'd sorted these trust issues out years ago."

Her words dropped in the air like barbs, lingering even after the tempestuous knight turned on her heel and strode away. Ice formed hard and cold in my stomach, replacing the earlier glow. My gaze shot back to Malak, but he was frowning in consternation at her retreating back.

The deep emotion in his eyes gave the game away.

He loves her. And he is toying with me.

I snatched my hand away in outraged confusion. Malak glanced back at me and grimaced, perhaps in apology. Then he whirled around to chase after Revan.

"Revvie! Wait!" he groaned as he dashed off.

Kylah laid a hand on my shoulder. "He should not play with other people's emotions like that," she said softly. "A Jedi should not act so."

I sighed, and reopened my eyes.

I could have dealt with my present situation in a collected fashion, had Revan been assuming the identity of Jen Sahara fully. Like she had been on the Endar Spire. Back then, she had acted exactly like the real Jen Sahara would have; meek, shy and obedient. I felt a passing sense of sadness for the scholar, but there was nothing more we could have done. She simply did not want to live after what happened to her on Deralia.

But Revan is not Jen Sahara. Not anymore. The thought was terrifying, except that... there is light within her. Light that does not come from the shell of a dead scholar. I sense empathy when she looks at Mission. She risked herself to come to my aid on the swoop track.

I could not understand this enigma; either she was Jen or she was the Dark Lord. Yet she seemed to be acting like neither.

The only thing I knew for certain was that the planted personality was beginning to shake loose. I had to get her back to the masters.

Also, there was the ambush of the Endar Spire to think on, beyond the bitter loss of all those lives. How did Darth Malak deduce our location? Is it possible he knows we are tracking down the Star Maps… or even that Revan still lives? Our drop from hyperspace, near the Taris system, had been a refueling one. How had the Sith known we would be there?

I need guidance. And help. I shook my head in irritation, and stepped out of the unit. I am calm, I am serene. I am resolute.

Stress and tension had built up to a boiling point since I had first pulled Darth Revan from the burning wreckage of her flagship. Rationally, I forced myself to review the situation I was now in. I must lead this party to Dantooine as readily as possible. Revan aside, I knew that I myself needed time, guidance and recuperation.

I refused to let my fear overcome my judgment. I had to return to the others, calm and in control of the mission.

Somehow, I will get Revan to the masters.

xXx