Chapter 15: You Hurt, I Hurt Too
Laugh and the world laughs with you, weep and you weep alone.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Marina's Research (part 2): The Uprisings Of The Prussians
Before the whole region of Prussia was occupied by the Teutonic Order, the first Prussian uprising broke out, when the Christian Duke Swantopelk of Pomerania allied with the conquered Prussians.
This particular uprising did result in some victories and reclaiming of their land. The Prussians and Pomeranian allies outnumbered the Teutonic Order, and were superior in skirmishes and wooden terrain. Even though they attacked and occupied castles that were constructed by the Teutonic occupation, the Teutonic Order were better equipped and were more advanced with their weapons technology.
The first uprising came to an end when Pope Urban IV proposed the Treaty of Christburg in February 1249, which granted the Prussians more liberties and autonomies. This brought rebellion down to a minimum, and preserved peace in the conquered territories.
The Teutonic Knights resumed their campaign to take all of Prussia as they took Bartia and Natangia. The remaining tribe of Prussia that was left to be conquered was Sambia, which proved difficult to subdue, and therefore another crusade was called for. With allies from the Holy Roman Empire and Bohemia (Czech Republic), the Sambians were defeated and all of Prussia was under Teutonic rule. It was during this crusade that the city Königsberg was established, which became the new capital of Prussia, and was named after Ottokar II of Bohemia in honor of his allegiance to aid the crusade.
In 1260 begun the Great Prussian Uprising after the Livonian Order (branch of the Teutonic Order) lost two battles against the Samogitians (Lithuanian Pagans) the Battle of Skuodus and the Battle of Durbe. This rallied the pagans in Prussia to rebel against the Teutonic occupation, and once again, reclaim their conquered lands.
Fortunately for the Prussian rebels, the occupation was weak and not well reinforced should such a rebellion occur. Many Christian nations were distracted by other affairs that they prioritized, so this would give the rebels a head start in their campaign.
Eventually, the monarchs and nobles of the Holy Roman Empire responded, and sent reinforcements to stem the uprising. The Prussian rebels were once again outmatched and were defeated, ending the Great Prussian Uprising in 1274.
Hostility between the Teutonic Order and Prussian Rebels ended, order was restored and harsh punishments were imposed on the rebels. Many rights that the Prussians were entitled to when the Treaty of Christburg was signed were revoked, and were subjected to serfdom. Some Prussians fled to the sanctuary of Lithuania, where they could continue to follow their pagan traditions. Those that stayed in Prussia, yielded and accepted Christianity, and became vassals to the restored Teutonic occupation of their land.
There were further rebellions and other campaigns, which could only be realized and dependent on alliances who desired to crush the Teutonic Order, but the occupation remained strong and facilitated. The new Germanized Prussia would become a Christian country, and a European power, which grew powerful throughout the centuries.
Marina's Diary 5th of February 2017
While I'm coping with my own problems trying to resist the demon's temptation, my first ever male friend Tyler was having issues of his own. His recovery getting over Laura was not getting any better, in fact, it drove him to self-destructiveness. His studies and grades were behind and he had low attendance, which put him at risk of being expelled.
On more than one occasion, he did get emotional, and even one time when him and I were at a coffee-shop. He made a scene by breaking down and crying his eyes out. This overpowering emotional burden was too much for him, he became enervated and needed me to help him walk back to his apartment.
When I helped him into his apartment, I did notice how untidy it was. He obviously neglected his housework and disregarded sanitation. I helped Tyler into bed where he relaxed while I proceeded to clean up his apartment.
After I was done, I sat on the bed with him and tried to engage in conversation with him. He lay on his side and spoke impassively, even croaked some of the words in his sentence. I would further allay his emotions by rubbing his shoulder slowly, and let him confide in me his feelings for Laura, which still tortured him. He would tell me how he feels a large hole in his chest and how he still feels it getting bigger, to the extent he couldn't feel his own stomach react. This would indicate that he might have been going days without eating properly, or even not eating anything at all. This did shock me and feel scared for my friend's wellbeing, I would then insist in making him something to eat.
When I was in the kitchen, browsing in his fridge and making him a sandwich, I did cry. I have never seen him like this, I've seen him upset before, but I have never seen him in such an emotional wreck. I was dating the girl who he once loved and still has feelings for, and I had won her heart, which did make me feel guilty for being happy while he was sad.
I brought him the sandwich, along with a glass of water and laid it beside his bedside table. Tyler had not changed positions in bed, he just remained there completely frozen and emotionless, but with the same depressed look on his face. I knelt beside him, stroked his head and cried for him. I promised I will do all I can to help him get over Laura, even if it meant I had to break off contact with him for the sake of me being a reminder of Laura to him.
He did find his voice and confess to me that there were many mementos in the flat, which reminded him of Laura, and that he still possesses pictures of her on his computer. I offered to arrange a date and time to help him clear out his flat, and he apathetically agreed on the idea and arrangement.
I took his outstretched hand and begged him to eat something. Before I stood up and left, I stroked the back of his hand, leant forward and gently kissed it. The kiss I compassionately planted on his hand brought a smile on his face, which made me feel like a miracle healer. My loving touch brought a broken man, who looked like he had given up on life happy again.
When I did leave his flat feeling I have succeeded in cheering him up, I ruminated about Tyler. He was the first man I kissed, not on the lip, but on the hand.
One quiet afternoon, where the sound of waves crashing, and the singing of seagulls could be heard. Marina remembered her arrangement to meet Tyler, and went round his. Tyler had remained accommodated in his apartment, which he borrowed from his uncle and once lived with Laura. Ever since the breakup, Laura has not set foot in that apartment, which left a haunting memory ever since Tyler expelled her from the household.
It was difficult for Tyler to move on, because nearly everything in his flat reminded him of Laura. On this particular occasion, he asked for Marina's help in disposing everything in the flat, which reminds him of Laura.
Marina roamed around with a box in her hands, throwing in anything Tyler consented to getting rid of. These would include small items, which were mementos, which Tyler couldn't bear to look at anymore.
While Marina carried out the task of collecting mementos, Tyler sat at his computer gathering all the photos of Laura he could find. Once he scrutinized everywhere on his computer, making sure there were no more photos, he dragged them into the waste bin. Before he could delete them, he turned his head to see Marina by his side with a box full of mementos.
„Are those all the photos of you and Laura?" asked Marina, bending down to get a view of the photos as small square icons in the waste bin window, ready to be deleted.
„They sure are, and they need to go, it's time to move on," asserted Tyler, taking a deep breath, holding it in his lungs and releasing it. He actuated the option to delete the photos from his computer. With the final procedure, he hammered his finger down on the button. The photos vanished, leaving only a blank window on the screen.
Tyler did have a sentimental moment, which made him want to cry. He knew that it's time to accept that Laura is not going to take him back and that it's over. He did shudder, as he stared at the blank window doing what he had to do, and that he can finally get on with his life again.
„Well done, I know it was hard, but you wont regret what you just did," praised Marina, placing her hand on Tyler's shoulder. Tyler smiled, knowing that deleting those treasured memories would grant him relief, and help him lift the heavy burden off his heart.
„What's that?" asked Marina, pointing at a little ornament on the desk, which looked like a small plush toy. It was a little brown plush-kangaroo with beady-eyes and a cute little black nose.
Tyler picked it up, held the little kangaroo in his hand and disclosed, „Oh this is Laura's little toy kangaroo, she had it since she was little. Maybe she forgot about it." Tyler looked down at the kangaroo, and gazed into its beady black eyes, overcome by its adorableness and how much it reminded him of Laura. He could almost cry again, but before he knew that he was getting too attached to the wistful toy, he threw his eyes onto Marina. He would quickly throw the kangaroo into the box, without having second thoughts and thinking nothing more than a bad memory he had to dispose.
Marina looked down at the kangaroo laying on its back in the congeries, staring up at Marina. She too was smitten by its cute tiny, beady eyes, and smiled at how tiny and adorable the little kangaroo was.
Tyler looked at another ornament on his desk, which rested at the side of his computer. It was a small horse conch, which had a pointy end, a white body with faded orange stripes, and a beautiful smooth, pink aperture.
„What's with that conch?" questioned Marina.
Tyler picked up the conch in his hand, examined it and answered, „This was what brought Laura and I together."
„Oh," reacted Marina, who hesitated, unsure whether she should ask Tyler to divulge to her the story behind the conch, „Tyler, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to."
„Well I might as well tell you, it's the least I can do for you helping me," offered Tyler, generously looking at Marina with a light smile.
„Sure, if you are comfortable in doing so," permitted Marina, sounding eager to hear.
„When I was out alone surfing, I noticed three girls out on the beach having a picnic. One of those girls was Laura of course, and the other two were Isabel and Olivia. When I swam to the shore, I heard a loud scream of agony, which turned out that one of the girls had an injured foot. I ran over to help and noticed that this girl, who happened to be Laura by the way, had this conch stuck in her foot.
We got her to a hospital to have her foot treated, and I paid her a visit after her foot was disinfected and bandaged. I would offer her the conch as a good luck charm, which she happily accepted. We did have a little conversation, and we both introduced ourselves. Of course we parted ways without exchanging numbers, but luckily I met Laura and her two friends when they attended a club, where I temporarily worked as a barman. Meeting her for the second time, I did not waste the opportunity to ask her out for a coffee, and of course we exchanged numbers. Then we went on a few dates, and after a couple of months, we became a couple," narrated Tyler.
„Aw that's so romantic, a cute little conch brought you two together," expressed Marina.
„It sure did, now that it's over, I suppose you'll be wanting this," assumed Tyler, passing the conch to Marina, who took it from his hand.
Marina looked at the conch, and did consider placing it in the box, but then came up with a better idea. „Tyler, this conch here is what brought you and Laura together, it is the last thing that connects you to her," reminded Marina.
„But that's precisely why I need it gone, I need to get over Laura, that's why we must get rid of this," baffled Tyler, confused why Marina seems reluctant to throw away what reminder is left of his former relationship with Laura.
„I can't bring myself to dispose of it for you, this is something you are going to have to do. When the time is right, and you are truly over Laura, you will give this conch a new home," advised Marina, handing the conch back to Tyler, who took it willingly.
„Yeah you're right, this is something I got to do, thank you Marina," thanked Tyler as Marina smiled.
„You're welcome Tyler, I think I should take my leave, the sooner this junk is out of this house the better," suggested Marina.
„I'll see you out," offered Tyler, getting off his chair and escorting Marina to the door.
„Thank you for having me Tyler, it was a pleasure to help you," said Marina.
„Thank you Marina, I really appreciate all your help. I don't know what I would do without you," appreciated Tyler. Both Marina and Tyler smiled at each other, as Tyler made a sudden request, „There is one thing I would like you to do for me."
„What is it Tyler?" asked Marina with a wide gleaming smile.
„If things between you and Laura don't work out… please don't do what I did. Don't let it tear you apart, try to be happy and be the best you can be," pleaded Tyler sounding tearful.
„Oh Tyler," sniffled Marina putting down the box, to wipe a tear from her eye.
„I just want Laura to be happy, and to be treated right, please do that for me," begged Tyler also beginning to shed tears.
„Tyler of course I will, I promise… oh Tyler (sniffs) come here," sobbed Marina, advancing towards Tyler as they both hugged tightly.
„Take care Marina," cried Tyler with his big arms around Marina's short fragile body.
„Take care Tyler," cried Marina with her arms around Tyler and her hands flat on his back. She then kissed him on the cheek, which made Tyler smile and feel loved again. „You will be loved Tyler, trust me, someday you'll find that one special girl who will love you," blessed Marina as Tyler could feel Marina's voice tickle the inside of his ear. They released each other as they both imparted smiles before going their own separate ways.
Tyler closed the door and decided to stand outside the balcony, to let the aftermath of Marina's visit and departure sink in. He took out the conch that he had in his pocket, and had one hard look at the one thing that he knew he would have to let go when the time was right. In the distance he could see the beach, where the waves rolled over the shore, and crashed aggressively.
From that moment on, Tyler had an idea what he would do with the conch once he was devoid of all feelings he has for Laura. He would cast it back into the ocean from whence it came. He looked down at the conch he held firmly in his hand as if it still had sentimental value to him, and said, „Someday, but not today."
Marina's Diary 7th of February 2017
After my recent visit to Tyler, I did make frequent visits just to see how well he was doing. He told me he was doing fine, and that he has regained his concentration and determination while he's been attending medical school. His grades have been improving, and he's started to occupy his time with many hobbies, which he devoted less time to when he was with Laura.
He did reveal to me that music has been the perfect catharsis to help him fight off the bad memories, which obtruded its way into his head. He did often play guitar, and even have jamming sessions with me. He told me about his favorite bands, which helped him overcome grief. Those bands were Pink Floyd and Radiohead, which I compared similarities with Genesis. Both Pink Floyd and Genesis were artsy and experimental bands, even Radiohead were sort of that style, only difference was they were more alternative and indie. Listening to both Pink Floyd and Radiohead, I understood how Tyler could relate to those bands, and how it provided him the perfect remedy or therapy he so desperately needed.
One Pink Floyd album Tyler introduced me to was one of their later albums, simply titled „The Wall". This particular album from Pink Floyd would tell the story about a man called „Pink Floyd" (presumably Roger Waters, the songwriter and bass guitarist), who struggles with past traumatic events, which continue to haunt him. Eventually, when it gets too much, he decides to isolate himself by building a wall around himself; fearing the damage and pain he could inflict on others. Once the wall has been built around him, and he's walled off from society, he slowly begins to lose his sanity. When he realizes that he has descended into madness, he accepts that he must face the people who he has hurt (emotionally), and face the consequences of his actions and decisions.
I'm not going to deny, but the whole concept of the Wall album and the deep meaning it signifies, I also found myself relating to. Mainly because of the demon that's in me, and persists to bedevil me. Both Tyler and I were battling our own demons, except my one was supernatural and not psychological.
Project Werther: Under the Willow, Werther Weeps Alone
I have documented the many adventures and moments of joy that Marina has indulged in, but recently, she has been going through a new phase; a phrase that was torture for me to witness. The Marina who I tried to shape to become the socialite, and truly bring out her cynosure, was in danger of fading away.
She would become more socially detached and reluctant to take part in any invitations that would be offered to her. There were even times she pretended to be busy, or have some alibi prepared so she could make excuses to not take part.
When we were in group conversations, Marina was no longer taking part in the conversation, and would remain the introvert she originally was. If there was someone who tried to communicate to her and get her attention, her name would be repeated more than once before she snapped out of her catatonic state and pay attention.
It would become more recognizable that she would develop two personalities, one personality was her sociable and affable self, and the other was when she was broody and completely aloof. It was even more conspicuous that she was only trying to be polite by engaging herself in conversation, but wanting to cut the conversation short, and retreat back into her own seclusive world.
On more than one occasion I tried to comfort Marina and get her to confide in me what was bothering her, and why she has been acting the way she did. She did remain secretive and only tell half a truth, which would raise even more concern I had for her sanity. This new attitude of hers, and the fact she wasn't being entirely truthful with me, really did hurt me. It even got to the point where I would just let Marina wallow in her own self pity, while I spent time with friends, who were interested in having a good time.
However when she did cry, I would always take her in my arms and never let go until her weeping abated. I would one time sit cross-legged from her and stroke her face, lovingly and gently, until she would give me a smile.
Her smile was a visage I always wanted to see. Marina's big wide smile, formed in a perfectly shaped bow, pearl-white teeth, nasolabial fold and dimples. Those dimples, those cute tiny little dimples, the final little features; which completed her smile. Looking into those blue eyes, I would deliver her an important message about feelings, and how they motivate us; and give us new perspectives about life. I told her if she's going to be sad, be sad, if she's going to be happy; be happy. Whatever feelings she has, she must not be afraid or ashamed to admit or express them. Being true to yourself and letting out your emotions is healthy, but being in denial and trying to bottle them up for so long, only prolongs recovery.
As much as I do wish Marina would confess to me what's troubling her, and why she's having withdrawals and mood swings, I'm not going to pressure her. She must be in the right state of mind and have the willingness to reveal all, so that I can truly help her and achieve the aim of this project.
Marina's Diary 8th of February 2017
The past week has not been its brightest for me, I've been having this new attitude problem, which I regret and know it's not healthy. I know for a fact that I'm letting Laura and my new friends down by behaving the way I am. This is all because of the demon that stalks my dreams and gazes right back at me when I look into the mirror.
As much as I hate to admit it, this demon might have all the answers I'm looking for, and be the actual key to solving the mystery between Laura and I. Asking the demon for information was a risk I was at this moment not willing to take, because I don't know how accurate it would prove to be, or there was any deception behind it.
Besides, Laura and I have already uncovered traces of Laura's ancestry in the United States. We have proven that Laura is indeed of German descent, and that her family went by the name „Holzmann". During the first World War, there was an outbreak of Anti-German sentiments around the nation. Many German Americans changed their names in order to avoid persecution, or because they renounced their German heritage. Laura's family would have their name changed from „Holzmann" to „Woodson", which would be the closest translation they could think of at the time.
Discovering that Laura's family-tree bared the name Holzmann, we decided to turn our attention to Germany. We were able to find further traces of Laura's ancestry and hopefully eventually, my ancestry too. We sought help from a historian and demonologist from Berlin, who is also a big fan of our dancing and he's subscribed to our Youtube channel. In return for the research he's going to carry out for us, he has asked us to visit him in Berlin for his birthday, which we promised him we would try. I was puzzled why he wouldn't celebrate birthday with his family, but then it occurred to me that he must be somewhat lonely, just like I used to be before I met Laura.
When Marina was busy doing her homework on her laptop, trying to take her mind off the recent argument she had with Laura, she got a new email in her inbox. Having developed infomania like most people of her generation have done so, she looked at a list of read emails and saw one email unread. This new email was from the historian and demonologist from Berlin, which must be an update regarding what research he has accumulated so far.
Excited as Marina was to click on the email and read it, she thought about Laura, and considered it to be the best way to approach her. Together they would look at the email and read what their friend from Berlin has discovered. That way they would forget the little altercation they had, and strengthen their bond as a couple.
Marina did try to get through to Laura, but there was no reply, so she tried to call Isabel who answered promptly. The call was short, because it was only asking for an invitation, which Isabel accepted.
On the way there, Marina bought strawberries and a small bottle of non-alcoholic champagne (fearing she would get asked for ID if she attempted to buy alcoholic champagne) to sweeten her advance, and celebrate with Laura.
When Marina arrived at Laura's flat, she rung the door, and Isabel answered and greeted zealously, „Hi how are you?"
„Hi, I'm good, how are you?" asked Marina rhetorically while wrapping her arms around Isabel and kissing both cheeks.
„Good thank you," responded Isabel, struggling to articulate her sentence, while kissing Marina's cheeks.
Marina quickly made herself at home, while Isabel made them both green tea. Since Laura was not yet home, both Marina and Isabel passed the time by doing their hair and make up. Marina would do Isabel's hair while they both engaged in conversation.
„I'm sorry about the little argument you had with Laura," expressed Isabel her condolences.
„That's okay, I'm sorry for the way I behaved in front of you and the others, it was rude of me," apologized Marina.
„Marina don't, I know it's normal to get upset, but it's not fair on you or anyone else that wants to have a good time," clarified Isabel.
„I know, if I wasn't feeling too good, I should have just said so and not tag along," understood Marina.
„Marina, what you can't keep doing is keeping secrets from Laura, you need to be honest to her about what's troubling you. I always share my concerns and problems with Gus, and you know what he does?" asked Isabel, hoping Marina would guess the right answer.
„No, what is it?" asked Marina feeling baffled.
„He makes me laugh, and I laugh with him, which is why you need to. Laugh if you want the world to laugh with you" answered Isabel, making a reference from a poem.
„Hmm why does that sound familiar?" asked Marina rhetorically.
„Ella Wheeler Wilcox, great American poet, you should love her if you love poetry," recommended Isabel.
„I will, maybe I'll learn a lot from this Ella Wheeler Wilcox," grinned Marina.
„You will learn a lot from her, I can lend you her book on poems," offered Isabel.
„Thank you Isabel," thanked Marina while she continued to brush Isabel's thick smooth, curly hair.
While Isabel painted Marina's toenails and Marina was relaxing her feet and reading the book Isabel lent her, which was Ella Wheeler Wilcox's book of poems, Laura came in through the front door. Marina watched Laura enter the kitchen with a bag of groceries, and heard her in the kitchen restocking the fridge and storage cupboards.
Then there was a sudden moment of silence, which Marina begun to suspect that Laura had seen her bag and laptop, and knew that Marina was there. Laura then entered the lounge and found Marina with Isabel on the couch.
„Hi Laura," greeted Isabel with a light smile.
„Hi Isabel," greeted Laura with a reciprocated smile.
„Hi Laura," greeted Marina with a big wide smile and a sparkle in her eyes.
„Hi Marina," greeted Laura apathetically with a neutral expression on her face.
„Maybe I should leave you two alone, I'll help unpack," offered Isabel, getting off the couch and walking into the kitchen.
Laura sat on the couch next to Marina, but for the first time ever, didn't treat her to a kiss. It was possible that Laura was still upset about the argument they recently had, and she was not ready or in the mood to be on speaking terms with Marina.
„Laura I'm sorry, I'm sorry I embarrassed you in front of your friends by being gloomy and a bit crabby," apologized Marina.
„Marina, I'm sorry too. I forced you to participate in the event and it only made the situation worse. I guess you really did want time alone," assumed Laura.
„I know you are only trying to help me and make me happy, and all I did was mope about and act pessimistic," jabbered Marina.
„Marina stop, stop arguing, lets just kiss and make up," demurred Laura, preventing any argument as she took Marina's hand.
Marina smiled, they both moved closer together and kissed. Laura wrapped her arm around Marina and held her against her chest.
„I have a surprise for you," revealed Marina.
„Oh a surprise, what is it?" wondered Laura.
„I'll tell you, but after dinner," said Marina.
„Okay," accepted Laura as she kissed her girlfriend on the head and squeezed her tight.
After dinner, both Laura and Marina were alone in the bedroom, while Marina prepared Laura dessert, which were strawberries and non-alcoholic champagne.
„Ready for your surprise sweetie?" asked Marina, after she placed the strawberries and non-alcoholic champagne on the bedside table.
„Sure, I can hardly wait," said Laura ambitiously, sitting cross-legged on her bed.
Marina took her laptop in her arms, placed it on the end of the bed, opened it and lay on her belly next to Laura. She logged into her emails and revealed her surprise, „Our friend from Berlin has got back to us."
„Oh really," exulted Laura, who lay on her belly next to Marina to look at her laptop with the unread email.
„Ready to read the email together?" asked Marina.
Laura gave Marina her hand and encouraged with a smile, „Lets do this."
Marina clicked on the email, which then opened a window showing text and some attachments in the email. The email read:
Liebe Marina,
Thank you for your patience waiting for a response regarding your inquiry.
Sorry that it took a while, I had to get in touch with many historians and demonologists, who could direct me to the source of information required. I even had to make short trips to Poland just to get my hands on some of the oldest manuscripts available to the public, and even get a Polish translator.
After a lot of digging and researching, I came across these photos, which I have enclosed in this email. These photos date back to the German revolutions of 1848-49, when a mass influx of Germans fled to the United States.
Before you open these photos, I do have to warn you that in all my life of researching into the mysterious and forbidden truths, I've never seen anything more bizarre in my life. Please brace yourself with what you are about to see, and be prepared to have your world turned upside down.
I will continue with my research to uncover what there is to be learnt, but in the meantime, please allow me another week until I get back to you with another update.
Liebe Grüße,
James
„Okay, looks like we are about to witness a life changing moment, are you prepared?" asked Marina looking at Laura, who has her lip hanging open.
„Marina, my heart is pounding and my stomach is flipping, if we are ever to uncover the truth we've been looking for (Laura swallows) I'm prepared for whatever we're about to see," slurred Laura.
„Keep holding my hand darling, this is something we do together, this is for our eyes only," heartened Marina also feeling nervous.
Marina hovered the mouse over the attachment (zip file) and clicked on it, and a loading bar appeared below. A window popped open, and showed an image was being rendered, and then popped up an old photo. The photo was filtered light brown with black and white figures in the photo huddled together, but the main focus of the photo was who these people in the photo were. Not only did these people wear 19th century clothing, but there were a couple of figures standing in the photo, which were enough to shock both Laura and Marina to the core.
„Oh my god, I can't believe this," gasped Laura, flabbergasted at who she saw in the photo. There was a young female in the photo who looked exactly like Laura, all facial features that resembled Laura were identical. Marina had the same reaction too, as she looked at another young female figure, who looked exactly like her.
„Laura, is this us, or could it be that our ancestors were old acquaintances?" questioned Marina, still overwhelmed with disbelief.
„Marina, it must be, we're… Marina we're… Marina I don't know what to say," vacillated Laura, unable to say what she wanted to say.
„Laura it must be, there's a connection in our family… maybe this is a sign that we were meant to meet. This must mean that we're meant to be together, like sisters," marveled Marina, looking at Laura, who was still looking at the screen in amazement.
„And lovers too," added Laura, turning her head to meet Marina's bewildered face. The two smiled teasingly and kissed slowly and avidly to celebrate their shocking discovery, which both scared them, but at the same time amazed them.
Laura and Marina broke out the strawberries and champagne while browsing through the old photos, which were attached in the email.
„Laura I can't believe this was us, both on the same boat, ready to start a new life in America," effused Marina.
„I find it hard to sustain belief too, I only wonder what we did when we both reached America?" pondered Laura.
„Were we a couple? Did we get married? And did we live happily ever after?" questioned Marina.
„Well hopefully we'll eventually know, but most importantly, we need to know what's the meaning behind this and what we are destined for," suggested Laura.
Marina grabbed Laura's hair to play with it and facetiously affirmed, „We were destined to love, what else?"
Laura turned to look at Marina, rolled her onto her back and climbed on her. „I know that Captain Obvious. What I meant was, do you think we're part of a never-ending circle, or there's some prophecy that our ancestors failed; but we together need to succeed in fulfilling?" asked Laura with her hair dangling over Marina's face, which tickled her.
„That's what I'm dying to find out, we will solve the mystery and complete our destiny," determined Marina, brushing away Laura's strands of hair that tickled her face.
„What do you think we should do until then?" asked Laura.
„What do you think Captain Obvious?" remarked Marina, whose face was shadowed in Laura's long hair, which created their own little tent.
Laura stretched her lips into a long wide smile, then lowered her head down to kiss Marina on the lips. They kissed and rolled around on the bed, leaving the laptop to go into sleep mode.
When it was time for bed and they both brushed their teeth, Laura took a tub of Vaseline. She flipped open the top, tipped her finger it and advised, „Before we go to bed, it's good to rub petrolatum on your lips, makes them nice and soft."
„For kissing?" guessed Marina.
„Exactly," confirmed Laura, as she rubbed a finger of Vaseline on her bottom lip in one horizontal stroke. She opened her mouth to run her finger over her top lip, then pressed her lips together to rub in the Vaseline. She dipped her finger in the tub of Vaseline, and rubbed her finger on Marina's lips and added, „Also if they get too dry, they crack and bleed."
„Really?" asked Marina with her mouth open and making movement with her tongue.
„Yeah," confirmed Laura with a whisper and smile, as she dipped her finger in the tub of Vaseline again. She kept her finger in the Vaseline and unsuspectingly with a wide impish smile, whipped her finger out the tub and brushed her finger down on Marina's nose.
Marina was shocked to feel the greasy smear on her nose, and to see Laura's smile widen and open, until she could no longer help but burst out laughing.
„Why you, you little devil," growled Marina. She dipped her finger in the open tub and roared, „Come here." Laura screamed and laughed as she tried to get off the bed, but Marina grabbed her foot. She tries to get onto her feet, but she feels Marina's weight pounce onto her back, which crashes her back down onto the floor. Almost winded from the impact, she shouts „No" and her girlfriend's name several times while laughing and going red in the face.
„MARINA, PLEASE DON'T" shrieked Laura, continuing to laugh while resisting Marina, who was trying to get revenge on her. „MARINA… YOU'RE SO STRONG," screamed Laura, holding Marina's arm with both hands, trying to avoid getting Vaseline on her nose.
„I know... I maybe small but I'm a strong girl," vaunted Marina, with her Vaseline coated finger next to Laura's nose.
Unexpectedly, the bedroom door flung open and Olivia stepped in looking vexed. „Would you keep it down you two, I'm trying to sleep," scolded Olivia with an aggressive frown on her face, so aggressive, it looked like she was going to hit the wall next to her.
„Sorry Liv, we were just having fun," apologized Laura, while still on the floor with Marina on top.
„Thank you," retorted Olivia, swinging the door shut, which made the glass window on the door rattle.
Laura and Marina just lay on the floor motionless just gazing at the door, looking quite shook up by Olivia's rebuking and how serious she was. Marina slyly took the opportunity to catch Laura off guard, and brush the Vaseline on her nose.
„Got you," whispered Marina, who also rubbed what Vaseline was left on her finger on her own nose, „Vaseline eskimo kiss." Laura and Marina eskimo kissed rubbing in the Vaseline and making out on the floor.
Meanwhile outside of Laura's bedroom stood Olivia, she had her back against the wall enveloped in the shadows. She eavesdropped on the affectionate scene between Laura and Marina, she could hear how much they loved and cared for each other. She heard them playfully tease each other with nicknames and fighting over who loves who the most.
Their expressions of love, which Olivia could hear behind the door, were enough to bring her to tears. Experiencing a deep feeling of envy and resentment for the couple, she scurried to the bathroom crying.
Olivia locked the bathroom door, finding comfort and solitude from the happiness Laura and Marina were basking in, which she undeniably envied. Laura, someone who she considered to be one of her best friends next to Isabel, she then started to resent. She resented Marina more for stealing Laura away from her. She was no longer getting the attention she craved and thrived from Laura, ever since she begun her relationship with Marina.
Olivia sat on the toilet feeling broken and useless, silently crying and holding a razor blade in her hand. She held the flat thin, shiny piece of metal in front of her eyes, seeing it as a way to free herself from her suffering.
Olivia stuck out her arm, resting her elbow on her knee with her forearm at an angle. She moved the blade over her arm, but struggled to stop her hand from trembling. She mustered the courage by thinking of Laura and Marina happy and lovingly together, and the good times she had with Laura, which she didn't think she would ever have again.
Before Olivia knew it, the blade rested on her wrist horizontally, pressing the blade deep into her skin and feeling how sharp it was. Feeling something dislodged in her throat, and biting her teeth together while letting tears run down her face, she removed the blade from her wrist. The blade didn't leave a cut, but did leave a horizontal purple mark on her wrist.
Olivia then turned the blade vertically over her inner forearm. She pressed the blade onto the suppleness of her inner forearm, seeing the blade dent in her skin and feeling the sharpness. Her veins were visible, showing the light blue lines that ran down her inner forearm, knowing that the blade would cut right through them.
Olivia looked at her surroundings before taking what might be her final action, which would result in watching her life drain slowly out of her and she would depart this world. The door was locked, the lights were still on, and it was dark outside. Not the most beautiful place to die, but the perfect opportunity to make the attempt and be successful.
Olivia replayed the romantic and flirtatious dialogue between Laura and Marina in her head, which gave her the drive and disposition she needed to go through with her suicide attempt. She took short breaths, letting the tears she had left to cry run down her cheek, held her breath and closed her eyes.
To be continued...
