Author's Notes
The reasons why I wrote my Friend Request fan fiction, was because I was going through a difficult time prior to watching the film. I was suffering from the worst case of heartbreak in my life, where writing was the only way to let it all out and allay my emotions.
Part of the reason was because of the actress Liesl Ahlers, who portrays the antagonist Marina. When I saw her behind the scenes and pictures of her on IMDB, I was shocked to see how beautiful she is in real life. There was the fantasy if Marina and the protagonist Laura became friends, but in time their friendship became a romance. It did occur to me in the film that Marina was physically attracted to Laura by the way she looked at her.
This was the longest fan fiction I have ever written, and I'm proud that I continued the project until I completed it.
Heartbreak
My story of heartbreak begins with this one job I had working at a call centre as a German Speaking Customer Representative. As I became more acquainted with my colleagues, I would then meet this one colleague who was with the German team. She was really attractive, with blonde hair, expressive eyes and an exquisite gentleness about her. She was really friendly, warm and helpful, and we got on really well together when we first met. Her and I shared common interests, which were reading and the horror genre, and of course; we both spoke German.
I would ask her if she would be free to hangout at lunchtime, which she said she would, so I was sort of expecting a friendship to emerge. As weeks went by, it seemed she was not being so engaging with me as I expected, it would become quite clear she wasn't interested in associating with me.
Along the way, I realized I was growing romantic feelings for her, despite I knew from day one she was in a long term relationship. I was shocked to realize this, and I was worried how this would effect me on the job, so I did all I could to try and get rid of my feelings for her. I went as far as avoiding her, but I knew that inevitably I would have to interact with her when it came to work related subjects.
I talked to my team leader about the problem, and he confided in me that he had the same experience with another colleague, but he became friends with her eventually. Unfortunately that wouldn't work out for me, as I knew I could not avoid her no matter where I sat in the office, even hearing her voice was painful for me to endure.
Eventually she would find out I had feelings for her, and her perception of me and her attitude towards me changed. She became more cold and distant, and I feared that my working relations with her would never be the same again.
I made many attempts to approach her and try to win her acceptance, which all ended in vein, and she would resort to other measures to avoid me.
This doomed romance or friendship attempt really crushed me, and I became less committed to my work, which did decrease my chances of passing probation. I no longer wanted to be there, I was miserable and lethargic, and only came to work for the sake of getting paid at the end of the month. I was no longer interested in interacting with other colleagues, I just wanted to be alone and wallow in my own self pity.
Eventually my probation hearing would come, and as expected, I did not pass probation. Part of me was a little upset, but a bigger part of me was relieved that I was no longer going to see her again, and that I was free of her.
Of course as I'm writing this, I still feel depressed and haunted by the experience, which did change my attitude at work and how I associate myself with colleagues. I have no interest in making friends with colleagues, I only keep everything professional with them. I will be nice, friendly and helpful, but I would never make the effort to get too involved in their personal lives. I might get engaged with conversations, but I try to cut them short and get back to work. This new demeanor and disposition has helped me pass probation with my current job, and I'm sure I have done the right thing by not mixing business with pleasure.
Whenever I see colleagues talk to each other like friends, I leave them to it, if they talk to me I will try to be polite as I could ever be. If they go out for lunch or for drinks after work, I just hope that they will never ask me.
I can't help but compare myself to Marina, when she tried to approach Laura and unintentionally scare her off. When she asked Laura if she did anything wrong, I wanted to ask my former colleague the same thing. When Marina saw Laura with friends, who she assumed mattered more to her, I felt the same; when there were other colleagues who she was more warm and friendly towards. When it became clear that Laura rejected Marina out of her life, I felt the same when I knew it was over, and all hope of a friendship was lost.
I do compare this sob story to the Sorrows of Young Werther, because both him and I fell in love with a girl, where the romance was doomed to fail from the start. The only difference was there was no suicide attempt, and I lived throughout the pain, and tried to not let it hold me back and ruin my future. It's been over a year, and I'm still going through all the mixed emotions: sadness, anger, regret, paranoia, past romantic feelings and self-worthlessness. I know in time I will get over it, and open my heart for someone else, who will hopefully be available and requite my love.
I did sort of base my fan fiction on my heartbreak experience, in regards to the road to infatuation and becoming fixated, but I made this a requited love story; unlike the Sorrows of Young Werther. Many who know of my heartbreak story, considered it a bad idea to write about a romance that came to be, but I sort of wanted to capture the feeling of being in love; and implementing them in my writing. Writing this fan fiction might have prolonged the recovery, but I'm happy I wrote it; and I can put the whole thing to rest and focus on other projects.
Friend Request: Movie Analysis
I was familiar with the found footage movie „Unfriended", which I thought was a pretty decent film (I'm not really into found footage films). I would hear from a friend that there was another film, which is based on the social media phenomenon titled „Friend Request". Subsequently, I would watch the trailer and I would become intrigued, I would rent the film. For my first viewing, I found it a good horror film, which made me question my own morality and imperfection as a human being.
The antagonist Marina I found myself relating to, because just like her, I can be quite a clingy person and I fear rejection and abandonment. When she discovered the shocking truth that Laura did lie about her birthday plans, I could understand how hurt she was, knowing that Laura was trying to rebuff her advances.
Throughout the film, I did find myself questioning both Laura and Marina as characters, about their own moralities and their actions; which shaped the course of the film. Marina was a lonely tortured soul, who longed for that one true friend. Laura was a popular and vivacious student with good virtues, who wanted to help people in need.
Even though Laura accepted Marina as a friend, whether it was out of sympathy or just to be polite, it lead to the unexpected result of Marina taking the social acceptance too far. Unfamiliar with how friendships work, and how to maintain them, she stalks Laura's profile and bombards her with messages. This impertinent approach vexes and eventually scares Laura, when she finds out how obsessive Marina has become.
When it's Laura's birthday and Marina assumed she's been invited to the party, Laura lies to her and tells her it will only be a dinner date with her boyfriend. This white lie doesn't work, as Marina finds uploaded pictures of her birthday dinner with her and her friends. This hurts Marina deeply, and she angrily confronts Laura, which results in a scuffle.
Laura deletes Marina from her friends list, which is the last psychological blow for Marina, and she commits suicide. Subsequently, Marina's vengeful spirit stalks Laura's profile, and exerts a terrible ruthless revenge. Laura finds Marina's suicide video uploaded to her profile with her friends tagged. Unable to delete the video, Laura receives angry comments from her friends, and they begin to decrease from her friends list. Her close friends, who she invited to her birthday party get killed off one by one, and their deaths are filmed and uploaded onto her profile. This ends with Laura having her reputation sullied and losing everyone. She ends up becoming possessed by Marina, and is doomed to repeat the assumed cycle of seeking revenge on those who would likely reject her.
This is one movie where I felt bad for both the protagonist and the antagonist, both were victims of circumstances, and I'll explain why. Marina lived a hard life, having difficulties meeting other people through appearance and lack of confidence. She was overjoyed when she was socially accepted by Laura, she over zealously messaged her, not realizing she was being too forward.
When Marina realized that she wasn't invited to the party, and she hinted that Laura was trying to brush her off, did she feel so betrayed. After the confrontation and little fight she had with Laura, she did show signs that she has forgiven Laura, and wanted to remain friends with her. She wanted to know what she did wrong, and why Laura was keeping her at arm's length. Despite all attempts to get answers from Laura, she would discover that Laura had unfriended her.
Laura dedicated her life to helping others by participating in charity and activism. She had a goal of becoming a psychiatrist like her late father, and continuing his work. When Marina came into her life, she did want to help her gain confidence and feel like she belonged, but that all changed when she realized how obsessed Marina became.
Laura clearly was under the influence of her friends, who were less charitable and good natured like she was. They warned her about Marina, and suggested she is not worth the time and attention, which I think partly influenced Laura to not invite Marina to her party.
Laura did lie to Marina, but felt bad about it, and knew that part of her was guilty. Even when Laura knew that Marina had uncovered the truth, she expressed guilt and apologized for hurting her feelings.
It was tragic indeed what happened to Laura, and that she suffered under Marina's vengeance, but in hindsight; it's easy to see where she was at fault. Being the people's person she is, I would expect her to try and be more communicative to Marina, which is something that psychiatrists do in order to help their patients. Unfortunately it was the fact that Laura was surmounted with fear, which hindered her from going the right way about dealing with the situation. She did rely on her friends to make decisions for her, even though she was reluctant to go through with them, because it goes against her nature.
Laura did one of the things that I find so frustrating about people, the fact that they wont be honest, and just use communication to resolve the issue. At the end of the day, Laura didn't have the courage to tell Marina how she felt, and it lead to her inevitable doom.
When I finished watching the film, I was convinced for the first time that we are all a little selfish, as much as we want to deny it. You can be caring, noble and altruistic, but your own personal needs, search for pleasure, priorities and actions will prove to be questionable by others.
Many viewers who would deem this film to be tragic, with a likable protagonist who loses everything, and for a tragic antagonist who only wanted love; I wrote this fan fiction for them. They can simply watch the film and always read my fan fiction for a happier ending, where Laura and Marina's friendship did come to be and they are both happy.
Meaning of Rejection
Rejection is indeed a big part of life, which will happen to us all at some point. It can hurt and can drain you psychologically, to the point you have almost lost faith in humanity or life itself. Of course rejection is just like any other psychological pain, which will fade in time, and we find ourselves back on our feet with new confidence and self esteem.
Genesis
Referencing the band Genesis I kind of got from the Bret Easton Ellis novel „American Psycho, where one chapter is the protagonist's reception and analysis of the band. He particular shows a keen interest in the Phil Collins era of the band, and how it made a slow transition into mainstream.
Without ripping off any dialogue from the book (and film), I applied my own reception of Phil Collins' era of the band. I also wrote it in a way how I critique each album, and how some of the tracks would pertain to Marina's character development, and how she feels a strong mutual connection to Phil Collins.
Phil Collins has had much success in his career, while being a member of Genesis and pursuing a solo career, but he has had his share of misfortune, which could have destroyed him. He has had three failed marriages and claimed he did have suicidal thoughts, but he found a way to cope with the pain through music, and focusing all the good things in his life.
This was how Marina found a role model in Phil Collins, because both him and her are artists who both have suffered from traumatic events, but came out on top in the end.
LGBT Theme
Many might be wondering why I decided to make my fan fiction a LGBT romance. I can assure that I'm male and am straight, but my true intentions were based on my perception of Marina's fascination with Laura in the film.
When I see Marina's facial expression, when she lays eyes on Laura, I do think it implies that it's infatuation. There might be some who disagree, and say that Marina just wanted a platonic relationship with Laura, but it looked like something that could evolve into something sexual.
There are theories that women who were subjected to sexual abuse from childhood, are likely to come out as lesbians. Of course this doesn't apply to all lesbians, but it has been the case with some.
The trauma of them being abused by males, would be what makes them realize that they can no longer trust men, and they become more connected to those of their own gender. Like I said, this is only a theory, and nothing is scientifically proven how some people discover their sexuality.
Marina was bullied by two boys at her school, and we see them torture her behind a closed door. It's not confirmed what they did to her, but it was something unpleasant, which lead to her becoming distrustful towards men. She only wanted a connection with an individual who was female, and that female was Laura. Although she wanted to be friends intentionally, it could be possible that she could make sexual advances on Laura, which would have some impact on their friendship.
Prussia
Even though Marina's origin is explained how she was born and what her childhood was like, I decided to use this fan fiction as the opportunity to flesh out Marina's origin, and her witch coven.
Being a real history buff, I implicated my knowledge of an unsung almost forgotten historical subject, Prussia. Historians know Prussia to be the most powerful German state, which helped unify the other German states to form Germany, but not often do they mention the crusade involving the Teutonic Knights and the Kingdom of Poland. There were pagans that inhabited the region that was known as Prussia, but became Germanized when the Teutonic Knights raided and occupied the land.
Upon analyzing the visuals that involve Marina's past and dark fantasy world, I tried to make little connections that might involve witchcraft in Europe, before American became populated by Europeans. I tried to decipher the inscriptions that were displayed during the scene, when Kobe tries to help Laura identify the problem with her account being hacked by Marina. I would have assumed it was Viking, but not quite, as I tried to compare it with other ancient languages. I never was able to confirm the language, so I assumed the creators improvised and made up symbols, which nerds like me could never pinpoint its origin.
Marina is a name commonly used in Europe, especially in Eastern Europe. Marina's mother who is named „Ada" which is a German name.
When I researched about Prussia and its association with paganism and witchcraft, I discovered that it was the one country in Europe where witches were safe from witch hunts. I also looked further back into the origin of Prussia, and that it was discovered by Widewuto who was king of the Cimbri, an old Germanic tribe. He had an older brother called Bruteno, who served as the high priest. At the age of 116, Widewuto along with his brother burned themselves in order to become immortalized and worshipped as gods. This is what inspired the Prussians to cremate their dead, so the souls would find their way to the gods. This discovery I would use as reference to why Marina and her witch clan would burn themselves as part of a ritual.
Researching about Prussia and using its history in my story was fun, and I hope this will inspire readers who are just as fanatical about history as I am, to go and research something I missed about this once powerful and mysterious nation.
Laurina
One thing I'm really proud of with my fan fiction, was how I created build up between Laura and Marina. I love how I slowly turned their friendship into a romantic relationship, which to me is how you make a romance feel genuine and believable. I also wanted there to be purpose to their romance, and why they were made for each other.
I mainly wanted to capture my experience of becoming infatuated and becoming fixated. Basically I wanted to write this story, while the feeling and fantasy was still fresh in my mind. Even though my story of infatuation and fixation was unrequited, I didn't want to write the story as an unrequited romance. I feel that there are many stories that executed the unreciprocated romance perfectly like the Sorrows of Young Werther, the Little Mermaid and Phantom of the Opera. I wanted to write about the positive sides of love, and how it can truly motivate you to enjoy life for what it is, and see the world as a bright vibrant place.
Both Laura and Marina are two girls with a big heart and a passion for what they do, but they are imprisoned in their own hell. Laura is controlled by her friends, who do love and care for her, so much that they thrive in her reputation and prominence. It occurs to me that Laura is not truly free to express herself to the full degree, but is tolerant with how her friends treat her, and she's happy regardless. Only by getting to know Marina, did Laura learn more about herself and understand her own flaws.
Marina is tortured by loneliness, and the failure of building any real social connection with anyone, which all changes when she meets Laura; and is convinced she's the one who would understand her and accept her. Part of her fixation is based on the fact she trusts Laura and sees her as the one who can give her friendship. It does seem that Marina had almost given up on humanity, to the point where she's scared and intimidated by them, which is why she needs Laura to help her restore her faith in humanity.
When Laura and Marina do finally start to connect and truly get acquainted, their friendship together is ambiguous and rather flexible according to how they develop as friends.
In the early stages of their friendship, Laura does intend to let Marina down gently, and hope she finds someone else, whom she can make a connection with. Waiting for the right time to pull herself away from Marina and get on with her life, she does find herself slowly warming up to her, and actually caring for her; so much she starts becoming like a mother figure to Marina. Upon discovering this new compassion for her stalker and obsessor, and reflecting on the kiss that Marina stole from her, did she realize she had a guilty pleasure from that experience. The more she thought about it, did she find her bicurious side, and knew that she was developing romantic feelings for Marina. She came out to her mum and friends that she might be bisexual, and that she was seeing Marina, and was determined to muster the courage to live with her sexuality and date someone of her own gender. In other words, Marina was a test, a test to prove that Laura can overcome her fear of oppresion and ostracism. Marina gives her complete freedom to be who she wants to be, and to express herself how she chooses to express herself.
Marina fought hard to win Laura's acceptance, and was that desperate to prove to her that she would be a loyal and trustworthy friend. After a week of getting to know her, Marina discovered that she was sexually attracted to Laura, which she knew could ruin the friendship. When Laura's presence became too much for Marina to control her urges, she took advantage of Laura's close proximity and impulsively kissed her. Both Laura and Marina were shocked about what happened, but eventually came to terms with it, and looked passed the incident. Eventually Laura warms up to Marina, and even considers seeing Marina and having a complicated relationship with her, which eventually becomes a real relationship. Marina enjoys her new life having her first ever romantic relationship, but along the way, she realizes as much as she loves Laura; she lusts over other women. From that moment on, Marina worries how it will effect her relationship, and if she would break and give into the sexual advances of another woman. After some strains and tensions in her relationship, she does differentiate between lust and love, and she was certain that what she felt for Laura was pure and true love; other women could warm her blood, but Laura was the one that made her heart beat. Marina needed Laura as her guide, to show her the world and all its beauty and amenities, and also be the light in her soul to prevent her from slipping into darkness.
There is of course the prophecy between Laura and Marina, which they unfold, and learn that the purpose of their romance is to break a curse; which has been in their family for past generations.
Even though they do find the world a cruel and dangerous place filled with the complexity even barbarity of humankind, they will continue to live in the world, and try to make it a better place for them and for those who they love and care for. When the time comes to leave the world, they will ascend into the sky like two angels, being granted access to the divine and utopian place we call heaven.
Future
Maybe in the future I might write stories that are connected to my fan fiction, maybe short stories that involve little adventures that Laura and Marina embark on. I might consider writing about Laura and Marina's ancestry, during the Prussian crusade when the curse between them initiated. I was also considering writing about their journey to start a new life in America, where they bond but tragically that bond was separated, and the curse was postponed.
I would have included an aftermath story of Marina discovering who her father is, and they both have a happy reunion. In the last chapter, I have hinted who Marina's father is, but that is for the reader to figure out.
Another idea I have for a sequel is Laura and Marina's wedding, they both get married in Masuria, Poland in the small town of Ruciane-Nida. Laura and Marina have their own seperate bachelorette party, with Laura going out clubbing with her friends and her mum, and Marina has her own private bachelorette party with her father.
The wedding is out in the open in the lush green grass next to the river, where Laura stands at the altar and watches Marina being walked up the aisle by her father. Both are dressed in cream white wedding dresses, and they are both in tears as the ceremony commences.
During the wedding party, Laura and Marina are on the dance floor, dancing to „This Love This Heart" by Phil Collins. After the middle of the song, Phil Collins himself surprises Laura and Marina by giving his testimony to the wedded couple. As expected, Marina reacts with astonishment, seeing her idol standing before her, and giving her his congratulations.
Laura achieves her dream of becoming a psychiatrist and Marina becomes an IT Engineer. Eventually they decide to become mothers, and they have two children, two girls. They live as one happy family in the same community as Laura's mother, where they own their own house with a swimming pool and two cars. They receive frequent visits from Laura's mother and from friends, who make the journey to come and see them.
Evaluation
Writing this fan fiction has been a long epic journey, and also the first time I've taken on the LGBT genre. This is the first time I wrote a fan fiction in the style of a novel and have included 18 chapters. I was determined to complete this story and find closure to my story of heartbreak, which has been a chore I found both fun and salutary.
If I could truly end the story if it was a film, I would have the end credits as a montage. I would have a combination of posts from both Laura and Marina's Facebook profile, showing how happy they are, and the many adventures they have together. I would also have the track titled „The Beginning" performed by Gary Go play in the background, kind of like how the montage at the beginning of the film plays, which introduces us to Laura's backstory.
Overall I am very happy with what I've written, and that I devoted a lot of my time to completing the story, and getting it posted online. Like every story I write, I know that it has to come to an end, and that it's time to move onto other projects. The ending leaves the perfect conclusion to Laura and Marina's journey of romance, and the quest to solve the mystery, which answers the reason why their romance was meant to be.
