A fractured mind
- Jen Sahara -
…
"Through victory, my chains are broken," I murmured to myself, tapping through the restricted archive.
"Padawan!"
A jolt of unwanted surprise lurched through me. Turning, I found myself pinned by an intense turquoise gaze.
"Not Padawan anymore," I muttered, feeling the bottom of my stomach drop out. Stars, she won't understand. My fingers twitched to shut down the output display, but stopped at a firm shake of the Zabrak's head. Great. I can't avoid a lecture now.
"Old habits take time to break," the Jedi Master said, grimacing as she stepped towards me. "Particularly when I come across you…" She broke off, close enough to view the holoscreen over my shoulder, and gave an audible sigh that echoed through the quiet library. "Breaking the rules again."
"I was researching-"
"You do realize that some on the Council did not support your rise to Knight?"
"I passed the trials-"
"My old student," she cut in once more, the exasperation in her voice evident. "Perhaps you would like to explain to me why you are viewing restricted data that only a Master has clearance for?"
Not really. I frowned in frustration. "Look, Karon, the Sith dallied with the Mandalorians two decades ago. I think-"
I stopped at her raised hand. She stared intently for a moment before finally speaking. "You suspect they have influenced the Mandalorian skirmishes."
"It's more than just skirmishes," I grumbled. "But yeah, I'm considering the possibility. Did you know there's a famous Mandalorian saying? Kar'tayl gar aru'e. Understand your enemy."
"I believe the Mandalorians have a lot of sayings. And I'm certain you could use any number of them to justify any number of actions." She placed gentle hands on my shoulders as her turquoise eyes sharpened in concern. Her voice dropped on the next words. "My friend, my old Padawan, there is a reason this knowledge is restricted to Masters. We do not conceal information to serve our own ends. Some knowledge is dangerous, even to those with years of training."
I held her gaze, but I could see she wasn't convinced I'd taken her words seriously. With an inward sigh, I resigned myself to at least an hour's discourse on the subject.
…
"Jen!" an urgent voice dragged me from the hazy depths of slumber and a half-forgotten memory. My eyes opened, and the blurry shape of a Cathar leaning over me came into view.
"Call me Ness," I whispered groggily, rising a hand to rub at my eyes. I winced; the side of my face was still tender from my last bout with Canderous. Perhaps I should have applied more of that gree-bacta salve back on the 'Hawk, but it stank. "Stay in character, Staria."
"Oh, yes. Of course," she murmured as I sat up with a groan. "Are you alright, my friend? You were thrashing about in your sleep."
My hand stilled, and dropped, and I met the alien amber eyes watching me in concern. "A dream, or a memory. It's this cursed place. Staria - I dreamt I was looking up the Sith Code," I muttered. The frelling Sith Code. I grimaced. Kar'tayl gar aru'e, indeed.
But it fit. It fit with everything I knew so far. Street Kid had fought in the Mandalorian Wars. She'd – I'd – followed Revan into that war, at the least. I'd believed in the cause passionately.
Sun and stars, I'd been a frelling Jedi Knight. Bastila had said I'd been a Jedi, but a Knight? How many Padawans d'ya think followed Revan and Malak, you numbskull? That meant- that meant I outranked Bastila, in a sense. A surprised laugh erupted from me before I could stop it, and Juhani pulled back, her ears twitching nervously.
"You were here?" Juhani whispered, her eyes moving around the small habitation quarters we had been resting in. I drew in the Force deeply, and could sense her apprehension. She thinks I learned it on Korriban.
"No," I muttered absently, stretching out my legs. "I was with the Jedi somewhere, researching the Sith. Researching the enemy." Until Karon rebuked me for it. Karon. "Master Karon was lecturing me…" I mumbled, and my eyes widened. "Stars, Juhani, I think she was my Master."
"Oh," Juhani replied uselessly. My mind jumped about, trying to connect the dots, and all I could see was the life draining from the Zabrak Jedi on a cold floor on Manaan. She'd been my frelling Master, and she stuffed Darth Revan in my head? And Jen Sahara? I must have… I must have, for some reason, agreed. Why else would a Master do that to their old Padawan?
The Force roiled angrily through me, frustration cresting through my veins and demanding an outlet. A growl rose in my throat, and my fist clenched. My eyes rested briefly on a useless plasteel side table before I sent my hand punching straight through it, the Force riding high in my muscles.
It shattered into a thousand splinters. Much like my mind.
"Sithspit," I cursed bitterly. "If I'd been five minutes earlier on Manaan, she might still be alive! And I might know more about… about everything." The Force ebbed as despair rode out the fury, and I dropped my head lifelessly into my hands. At my waist, I was hyper-aware of the only token I had that proclaimed Karon's importance to me, once. Her lightsaber.
I hadn't let out of my sight since Manaan.
"Let it guide you."
What did that even mean? When I'd turned it on, facing that mouthy Mekel, I'd felt the Force sing through Karon's lightsaber in a cleaner, lighter way than the red 'sabers did in my grasp.
Kaiburr crystals are, in essence, Force amplifiers, a voice murmured in my head. I wondered with a wrench whether it was Karon's voice, or merely just my own broken mind tormenting me. They are the power source for our lightsabers, and different crystals sing louder to different Force sensitives. Once entrenched in corruption, they turn scarlet no matter their original hue.
The red 'sabers burned and twisted, and the Force was a rollercoaster of emotions. Is that what Karon had meant? Could a natural rock influence a sentient being, or did the being influence the rock?
Does it even frelling matter? Karon's dead, and I still have more questions than answers. I need… I need to talk to Bastila.
My bond-sister was asleep through the bond, having her own bad dreams. It all comes back to Bastila. As soon as I'm done here, she'll tell me the whole truth.
"Regrets and what-ifs are poison," Juhani was murmuring softly. Her warm hand was resting gently on my shoulder. "You must look to the present and the future."
"But if I hadn't run in the first place... or, no – if I'd stayed, maybe then I might be meek little Jen Sahara once more." I felt my whispered words break as I realized that. If Karon had brainwashed me once, wouldn't she do it twice? On the Endar Spire, all I'd been was Jen Sahara. Did I agree to that too? An entire scrubbing of my identity? No… no. My entire being rebelled at that thought. It seemed like the worst kind of violation.
And Juhani must think I was going frelling insane. I jerked my head to look at the Cathar, and the strongest emotion I could see in her feline eyes was a deep, distraught empathy. "Don't listen to me, Staria." I forced a laugh. "This place is just getting to me. I'll- I'll go meditate with Bastila when we're back on the Hawk." I laughed again, and inwardly winced at the hollow sound.
Juhani was still staring at me intently. "What happened on Rii'shn?"
None of the others had asked yet. They'd all, even Carth, seemed to accept my brief explanation. No more running. And it was the truth, but not the whole of it. Juhani… the only one who'd accepted me back with no recriminations, perhaps deserved more.
"I found the Dark Side within me," I said simply, staring past her at the plain granite walls that extended upwards to a ridiculously high ceiling. Absently, I wondered if the original creators of this cavernous warren were five metres tall.
"We all have the darkness within us," Juhani whispered. "It is how we deal with it that defines us. Even if we have failed before, there is still hope to do better."
Was Juhani talking about herself now? Her amber eyes had a faraway look and glistened with emotion. Not so long ago, she believed herself too weak for the Light. She's come far.
"But what if it's always there?" I murmured. The rage, the fear, the pull for power… the feelings came and went, but thus far I'd never felt them go entirely. "The Dark Side?"
"It is a battle that we face constantly," Juhani agreed, and her attention was back on me again. She'd composed herself; her face serene and thoughtful. "I am only just beginning to comprehend that."
I sighed heavily. "Yeah. Do you think some Jedi fall because they're just so damn sick of resisting it?"
Her eyes widened fractionally. "No," she said after a moment's thought. "I believe the more you live the Jedi way, the easier it is to resist the pull of Dark Side. But that doesn't mean we should become complacent, for no one is infallible."
I shot her a sideways glance. "Wise words. Are you sure you weren't a Knight?"
Juhani smiled sadly. "I was close. It was when I failed my Knight trials that I fled."
I blinked, startled to hear her speak of it.
I saw a pained look before she closed her eyes. "You must understand… my Master, Quatra… I was devoted to her. The sort of blind, unwavering devotion that is both unhealthy and weak. She had made it clear numerous times how wrong my attachment to her was, but at the trials… I was made to choose… and when I saw her… I thought it was part of the vision. I..." She inhaled deeply. "I am sorry. I try not to dwell on it, but this place has me on edge."
You and me both. Her slanted eyes were open once more, but evading my gaze. She regretted speaking, I could see. "I think she was the wrong master for you." She was an intense soul, Juhani, and this Quatra sounded like a by-the-books ice queen with little empathy. I wondered idly if I'd ever met her.
Juhani's gaze had snapped back to mine. "Perhaps you mean I was the wrong Padawan for her."
"No," I said a little forcefully. "For the Master chooses the apprentice. When she realized the depth of your devotion, she should have transferred you to another Master rather than try to kill it with coldness and jumped-up Knight trials." For, to my ignorant ears, it sounded like Quatra had used Juhani's trials to test the depth of her emotions. Bet she didn't expect it to backfire this way. But in the end it had hurt the Cathar far more than her Master, I suspected.
The chronometer dinged, breaking our conversation with a high-pitched electronic buzz. I frowned, and leaned over to switch it off. Our eyes met again.
"Yuthura will be here soon," I said, feeling my lips twist. Juhani nodded, and we both rose silently. I felt refreshed after a decent sleep, but I could have done without the dream. Suppose it's too much to hope that Bastila didn't see it.
Uthar's drivel yesterday must have dredged it from the depths of my damaged memory. I didn't put much stock in either the Jedi Code or the Sith Code. It's just words, Bastila! I'd seethed at her. But Bastila disagreed vehemently… and I promised myself I'd take the time to listen to her, now.
I shook my head to clear the thoughts, and began buckling on my discarded armour mesh. Juhani was already clothed in her plain tunic. We'd both, I noticed, ignored the dark robes that Yuthura had mentioned, when she'd taken us here the previous evening.
…
We followed Yuthura Ban in silence down the imposing corridor carved deep into the rock. Her posture was tense, and her lekku flicked her discontent. I wondered if she felt this sort of orientation beneath her.
There were many doors on either side of us, all wooden and without any obvious locking mechanism. The Twi'lek Dark Jedi stopped in the centre of the hallway, and turned to face us.
"These are the aspiring student dorms," Yuthura murmured silkily. Other than the occasional glance at Juhani, she kept her attention focussed on me, pegging the Cathar as an unimportant side-kick.
Intriguing, in that it was the flipside of Uthar's reaction. He'd been quick to agree to our admittance as Initiates, and then spent the next hour espousing the glory of the Sith, their code, and their delightful way of life. Then, before dismissing us into the temporary tutelage of Yuthura Ban, he'd directed Juhani to visit him tomorrow.
Not happening, I'd thought darkly at the time, sending a loaded look towards my friend. There was no way I'd let her meet someone like Uthar Wynn alone.
"Pick your rooms. There are no locks, so I suggest you do not be too quick to make enemies," Yuthura was saying. She threw me a pointed look, referring no doubt to yesterday's incident with Mekel. She hadn't been particularly impressed at the time, but I'd wagered a minor irritation on her side was a worthwhile trade-off for a swift entrance into the Academy.
I hadn't expected the witness, though. Halfway through the confrontation, a young, blonde human woman had slipped out through the Academy's grand doors and set Yuthura's teeth on edge. I had the odd feeling that Yuthura wouldn't have sent Mekel off to the tombs had the witness not been there.
And the blasted irony was vicious little Mekel, being forced directly to where we needed to go.
Within the Academy, Yuthura's sensual voice contained the monotony of boredom. "You will find robes inside that befit your new station in life."
I glanced over at Juhani, whose mouth had tightened.
"Once you have proven yourself a true student of the Sith," Yuthura was saying, "you may end up having your own secure quarters on the other side of the Academy with the Adepts. But the first part of your training is your initiation, shall we say." Yuthura smirked. "You must show yourself worthy."
I folded my arms, quirking an eyebrow at her and concealing my unease. "Time to use our… independent thinking, was it?"
Yuthura laughed, a high tinkling noise. "I do not want to like you, Ness Jonohl, but it seems I cannot help myself. You are quite amusing."
"I aim to please," I said drily.
"I will give you one tip: placate Mekel or risk his wrath at your leisure. He does not forget a slight." Yuthura's words were soft and surprising. Her unnatural eyes were serious, and I wondered at her motivations. She'd sent him to the Valley of the Sith Lords, but perhaps she hadn't had a choice.
"He's a favourite of yours," I said quietly.
"It does not pay to have favourites here," Yuthura replied, her voice colder than before. "You are foolish if you trust anyone." Her gaze slid over to Juhani. "Allies, yes, to help increase your prestige and power. But a true Sith stands alone. If you do not comprehend that, then it is at your peril."
…
She had little more to impart after that; a pointer towards the nearby amenities, and a brief discourse on Uthar's rise – slaughtering the old Headmaster Jorak Uln plus his apprentice a few years back in the charming tradition of the Sith. At some stage Uthar must have chosen Yuthura Ban as his first. I wasn't sure what to make of Yuthura; she seemed content in her environment, but her posture changed when she spoke of her master and it wasn't deferential.
We'd been left to ourselves, then, to rest and find some food in the student kitchenette. The empty room filled with rows of food synthesizers had been a disappointment; I'd had an amusing vision of throwing a wad of mash at some unsuspecting student, but it appeared Dark Jedi wannabes didn't socialize over meals.
One Initiate entered while we were dallying, shooting us both a distrustful look while filling a plasteel container with gelatinous goop before vanishing.
"Maybe the Adepts have a cantina on the other side of the Academy," I remembered muttering grumpily, while serving myself a tray of nutritious yet highly unpalatable mush.
Yuthura had told us to be ready at dawn for training, so we had retreated to one of the empty rooms to rest.
And now, it was time to start the day as a Sith student.
I sat back down on the lone bed with a sigh. "I wonder what Yuthura's training entails," I muttered, looking up at Juhani. Unease coiled like a sick snake in my belly. "I won't lie to you, Juhani. I'm… scared. Here, this dark place… I'm scared I'll lose myself to the darkness. Again." A shiver coursed through me, and I stared down at my hands. They'd been covered in blood back on Rii'shn. Sure, the blood of people contracted to kill me… but the enjoyment I'd felt then was bone-deep terrifying. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe Korriban was the worst place to visit next.
A gentle touch on my head had me looking up. "Together we will be each other's strength, Jen. Together we will walk in the light." The Cathar sounded so righteous, so damn good and strong, that I couldn't help but feel a bit better.
I felt my mouth tug in unbidden amusement. "You could warn me when I do something bad," I suggested. "Blink once for dark side, twice for light."
Juhani stared at me, and I saw the uncertainty in her as she struggled to comprehend my words. It was hard to suppress my smile.
"I-I do not believe your irreverence is an appropriate response, Jen," she said finally.
The grin broke out genuinely now, and I nudged her leg with my hand. "Maybe not appropriate, but it seems to work for me."
I saw her lips curve with the smallest of smiles. "Humans baffle me," she murmured. "Especially your odd humour."
"Do Cathars not tell jokes then?"
She frowned. "To be honest, I know little of my peoples' culture or customs."
A light knock interrupted our conversation, and she rose silently, stepping forward to answer it.
A male human stood awkwardly in the doorway, hands hanging loosely at his sides as if he didn't know what to do with them. He was garbed in a dark grey robe that ill-fitted him, hanging loosely at the sides. Somehow, he didn't appear cut from the same cloth as all the other Force sensitives around here. But he was one, I could feel the spark of it around his aura.
I'd been holding in the Force without realizing it. It had become second nature at some stage.
"Oh, ah… hello," the young man stammered. He was older than Mekel by a few years, but youth was still evident in his rounded cheeks. "My name is Kel Algwinn. Master Yuthura ordered me to show you the Archives this morning."
I glanced briefly over at Juhani, whose expression was neutral.
"Archives," I echoed. "Great. Are we studying for something?"
Kel blinked uncertainly. He was an olive-skinned, attractive sort, with an open, wholesome look to him that most certainly didn't belong on Korriban. Either he had a very convincing front, or he wasn't going to last long on this frelling planet.
"Well, er… we are studying to be Sith, of course," he replied at long last.
I inclined my head. "Can't wait for the final exam," I muttered. "Well, Kel, I am Ness Jonohl and this is Staria, although I'm sure you know that already. Want to lead the way?"
He stood there, his eyes flicking over both me and Juhani. A twitch on his left eye betrayed his nervousness. "Ah, do you not want to change first? Into robes, or a uniform?"
"No," I said flatly. I understood why Force-sensitives preferred the advantage of robes to armour – although I still felt more comfortable behind scale mesh – but what I didn't get was this blasted conformity the Sith and the Jedi seemed to have in announcing their alignment with the colour of their clothing. And surely, being contrary on Korriban would help me fit in as much as wearing their stars-cursed uniform.
"Okay," Kel replied slowly, seeming anything but. "Come this way, please."
We followed him down one of the imposing corridors out of the student quarters. Again, the sheer height of the granite ceiling impressed me. It must have taken some work to carve out these passageways. Mission said this Academy was new, but the caverns themselves aren't. They're ancient. The Force was strong here, or perhaps I was more attuned to it. I could feel a dark twist to it; an angry, resentful vibration that felt like it wanted to latch into my head. My eyes slid to Juhani and I thought I saw a tremor by her mouth.
As we turned a corner, my senses touched on an odd, dead patch in the Force, a gap where the Force curved away, as if something was repelling it. Yesterday, when Uthar had been glorifying the values of the Sith to us I'd thought I'd sensed the same thing. It had been moving, then.
"Ness?" Juhani questioned, and I realized Kel and Juhani were waiting for me further ahead while I'd been blankly staring at the wall. With a shake of my head, I fell into step with them. The Force is warped on Korriban. Maybe this is just a sign of Dark Side corruption.
Juhani was shooting me a warning glance, and I chased the thoughts from my head. She probably thinks I'm chatting with Bastila again. Bastila was still asleep, but lightly so. She'd wake soon, I could tell.
The bond was growing stronger.
I cleared my throat. "So, Kel, this place is pretty empty."
The young man gave me a cautious sideways look as we neared a set of double doors. "We normally have more students than now," he agreed. "Darth Bandon visited us a month ago, and most of the Adepts left with him to join the war."
Darth Bandon. The name meant something to me, or it should. Or it does to Evil Bitch. One didn't call oneself Darth without being powerful, I knew that much. "Malak's apprentice," I half-guessed.
Kel nodded, opening the doors and leading us inside a large, deserted room. "Bandon or Nisotsa come here every few months to take the strongest. The departure of the last group has caused a bit of a power struggle here, actually."
He didn't seem like he was going to expand on that, and instead motioned to the consoles on one side of the room. Most of them had cerebral plug-ins for those with implants, and all boasted a holo-reader and full AV headset. "These computers are off the grid, linked into our Archives and databanks. The ones on the other wall are connected to the galactic HoloNet."
"What do you mean?" I asked. "About the power struggles?"
Kel blinked. "Oh, ah… just Academy politics. You'll get used to it once you've been here for a while. So anyway, Master Yuthura-"
"Kel," I interrupted, straining to keep my voice both pleasant and pleading. "I'm new here, and a bit nervous to tell you the truth. If you could give me a rundown on the Academy politics I'd be most grateful." I didn't doubt the consoles might yield valuable information – probably our best bet for pointers to the Star Maps – but I wanted to get a feeling on the hierarchy here. So far, all I knew was that Uthar was top kath-hound and Yuthura one pup below him.
And that there appeared to be very few students.
Kel was gazing at me again, and I could see the caution in his dark eyes. It's not a front. He really doesn't belong here. "Please," I added softly.
"Okay," he swallowed. "Well, there's only five Adepts left, plus a few dozen Initiates like yourself. It's the Adepts who rule the pecking order, you see – they're the ones who sponsor you for graduation. They're the ones you have to listen to."
"And they are?"
"Lashowe, Mekel, Dustil and Dak." Kel looked away. "And myself, I guess. What- what I'm really saying is that you should be careful not to get on the wrong side of these guys. They've been here a few years now, and the Initiates follow them. You'll – you'll probably end up siding with Mekel or Lashowe."
"They're the two leaders here?" I queried. At his nod I grimaced, and saw a slight wince from the Cathar. I'd humiliated Mekel yesterday in front of Yuthura – his Master, if her reaction was anything to go by – and worse, in front of what must have been Lashowe. "Lashowe reports to Uthar," I said slowly, seeing confirmation in Kel's face before he looked away.
No wonder Yuthura has dressed him down so harshly. She couldn't afford to show any sort of mercy to her favoured student in front of Uthar's plant. It'd figure the headmaster and his apprentice would play out a little power game using their students as bait. I don't need to get involved. I should keep my head down, and stay out of these Sithling politics. But it might already be too late for that.
"Here, this is the Archive's home portal," Kel told us, motioning to the screen. A holo-picture appeared on the pad in front of the terminal. "Master Yuthura wants you to become familiar with the history of the Sith and the founding of this Academy. She'll be here to check on you shortly and give you some rudimentary training."
He took a step back, his body language clearly stating his desire to leave us – and it was a perfect opportunity to do some uninterrupted research. And yet… curiosity overcame my caution. For Kel was also a weak link, and our best source of information on how this sodding Academy worked.
Jen? How do you fare?
"Kel, which faction is the most powerful?" I asked. He glanced towards me again, twitching eyes betraying his uncertainty.
I'm fine. Just interrogating a Sithling.
"Well," he said slowly. "Dak follows Lashowe, although most of the Initiates tend to side with Mekel. I- I stay out of it as much as I can." I stared hard at him, and he dropped his gaze to the ground. "I- Mekel's always been kind to me. He can be nasty, but he leaves me alone. I don't want to take part in any fighting."
I mulled things over. Mekel, nasty little snot that he was, was probably stringing Kel along for his own purposes. However, it seemed we'd come at a fortuitous time. I'd felt Mekel's strength, and it wasn't to be sneezed at – but it didn't exactly frighten me either. The small amount of actual Dark Jedi here was a pleasant surprise.
Overconfidence can lead down dark paths, Jen. At the least, it can cause errors of judgment. Even the mightiest of Jedi can be slain by a knife wound. I grimaced. Bastila's caution, as usual, was annoying – the more so because she was right.
"Mekel's the most powerful graduate here?" I hazarded a guess.
"I shouldn't be talking to you like this," he mumbled after a long pause.
"You should not be here," Juhani said, her voice low and serious. She'd surprised both of us by speaking; I'd almost forgotten the Cathar was there. "Kel. You are too good for this place, and you know it."
My stomach clenched. This was reckless and dangerous, no matter Juhani's drive for redemption. "Staria," I said warningly. She flashed me a challenging look, her slanted eyes glinting in resolution.
"I- uh," Kel's eyes were wide as he looked back and forth between us, uncertainty and unease rolling off him in waves.
"You do not belong here in this darkness," Juhani said softly. "You do not have to stay with the Sith."
Sod it, Juhani, this is frelling risky. And yet, if she was going down that path, I may as well throw my hat in and support her. I suppose if we get caught out, we can always say we were tricking him.
What is risky?
I sighed. "She's right, Kel. This place will devour you, and you'll end up detesting yourself."
Juhani wants to redeem the world.
I spotted his fists clenching, and my muscles tensed in response. "Master Yuthura always says I'm too trusting," he muttered, "too willing to show weakness. What you're saying… Sith like you use any means to succeed, to trick others."
Is that not a good thing?
"We are not Sith, Kel," Juhani whispered.
"Yeah, we've only been here one night," I added irreverently. "I'm sure it takes at least a couple of days."
"Ness," Juhani reproved.
I ignored her, still staring at the young man. "Look, Kel, Staria's a good judge of character. Honestly. You must have thought of ditching this stars-cursed place."
Kel was shaking his head, and his dark skin paled somewhat. "No," he said. "You don't just leave the Academy. I mean… not that I've ever thought of it. But you can't. Either you graduate and join the war, or…"
"Or?" I prompted.
"Or you keep trying to graduate, like poor Shaardan. But those that try to run… they never get far." His voice dropped to a husky whisper, and I heard the echo of despair behind it. Something snapped in me, and I stepped forward, my hands dropping onto his shoulders.
"Kel. Look at me," I commanded, putting on my best authoritative voice. His black eyes shot up to focus on mine, and I felt his shoulders bunch under my hands. "Once we've concluded our business, we won't be staying. And we will offer you a way off this planet, should you wish to take it."
He stared, and I could see the beginnings of hope start to burn in his eyes. His mouth opened soundlessly. He wanted away from this soul-destroying place. Juhani is right.
"Don't say anything," I added. "We'll talk no more about this. But we'll come for you before we leave and give you the option."
He glanced over to Juhani, who was smiling beatifically at me. "Okay," Kel said. "I think. Thanks. Maybe. Um…"
I laughed, and motioned him away. "Go. Don't dwell on this conversation, Kel. We'll see you later." The Force thrummed through my words, and I winced when I recognized the faint taste of compulsion. That had been both accidental and instinctive.
"We will not forget about you, Kel," Juhani added quietly. Her words rang genuine and true, and once more I was filled with admiration for my Cathar friend. She is a true Jedi.
And then the young man smiled, hope well and truly alight in his face. He turned, and made for the exit.
"One last thing," he murmured at the door. "What you said earlier, about Mekel. Most people believe he's the strongest, and if he weren't aligned with Yuthura then Uthar would be priming him to replace her."
"You don't think that," I said slowly.
Kel shook his head. "I watch people, and stay out of things as best I can. The strongest graduate here is Dustil, and he's Uthar's true protégé."
I'd missed the fifth candidate in our conversation. That was sloppy. "I thought Lashowe led Uthar's faction?" I asked.
"Outwardly, yes. Dustil works alone… people call him Uthar's pet, like he's some sort of bootlicker. But he hides his strength and works for Uthar in the shadows. Everyone underestimates him, even Mekel. I don't. I've seen what he can do."
"Thanks for the tip," I said quietly. Kel shot us one last, small smile before exiting.
Juhani and I shared a measuring look as the door snicked closed shut behind Kel's retreating figure.
"Well," I said, sighing. "Sith politics 101. That was enlightening."
"We may have another crew member when we leave," Juhani replied. Her slanted eyes were wide with pleasure. "This is a good thing we have done, Jen."
"Ness," I muttered. "Use Ness. The walls likely have ears. And anyway… you started it."
She gazed at me soulfully. "Thank you for supporting me, Ness."
I inclined my head. "You are shining a light in the darkest of places, Staria. And… despite the risks, you are right to do it. But let's hop on the consoles and see what we can find, okay?"
With a loaded look between us, we moved to adjacent computers and started our research. Despite Kel's directive, there was only one primary objective for us both: finding the most likely location of the Star Map.
There was plenty of information on the tombs, they'd obviously been studied excessively by Dark Jedi and Sith scholars alike. Part of me was surprised to realize there was such a thing as academics aligned to the Sith, but I lectured myself that believing things to be so black and white was not only ignorant, but potentially foolhardy. Not all Sith are evil… and not all Jedi are honourable.
There were half a dozen tombs of great importance, all of which listed various traps, and warnings about unstable Dark Force energy that made me grimace. Enough to make any ill-prepared Force sensitive insane, I imagined. None of them had their contents fully recorded – either no one had come back alive from the depths, or those that did refused to share their knowledge. They were all ancient. I'd been hoping that I'd find one eons older than the rest, as an obvious hiding place for a hidden relic.
Juhani was tapping away awkwardly on another console next to me, having also switched off the visual feed. I turned back to my screen, pulling up a query on the dead Sith Lord Naga Sadow. Sadow had triumphed over Ludo Kressh, and Sadow's tomb lay near the bottom of the valley. It held some importance to the leader of the Academy, it seemed graduation ceremonies were often held there.
How likely would it be for a Star Map to reside where they send all the wannabe Adepts? And if it's so accessible, wouldn't Malak have come back to destroy it? Perhaps he meant to, in time. Or perhaps, with the supposed destruction of the Dantooine master Map, he hadn't thought it necessary. That'd be an embarrassing oversight, given how far we've come.
Kressh's tomb, on the other hand, lay somewhere in the bowels of the shyrack caves, protected by the stars-cursed terentateks. Somewhere, presumably near the ruins of a much older Sith Academy. I shivered. When Mission had mentioned that, I'd been swamped with a vague, foreboding feeling – like someone trampling over my very soul.
Ludo Kressh was a cautious Lord, and obsessed with the history of the Sith, a dark and all-too-familiar voice whispered. He surrounded himself with artefacts of dark power, even if he didn't fully comprehend them.
I swallowed, pushing Revan's voice away. Korriban was messing with my mind, and yet I could feel I'd walked this dark path before.
My eyes slid back to Juhani, who was frowning in consternation at the screen. I need a distraction. Looking back to my console, I tapped a key back to the home portal and saw a link to the Academy's founding. May as well follow Yuthura's orders. She's likely to test us on them.
The holo-reader lit up with a recording, despite my earlier preference for text-feed only. Two figures shone into existence; one, an older humanoid bowing deferentially to a masked, dark-robed figure that faced him.
"What is that?" Juhani asked, her attention caught by the video.
"It is time to open this Academy up to new students, Jorak," the masked figured said in a cold voice. "I know you've been snivelling around here for years, letting the odd Force-sensitive poke around under your tutelage, but I expect you to actively recruit now that I am leading the Sith."
"It shall be as you say, Lord Revan," the older man replied.
"Jen?" Juhani's voice was sharp and frightened. Bile rose in my throat as stunned shock froze my mind, and a sickening vertigo rushed in my ears.
…
"No messing about, Jorak," I commanded. I could sense the older man was appeasing me, waiting for me to throw my weight about and then leave. Little did he know that we'd met before. I'd dropped a false name back then, of course, and kept a low profile. Acted suitably servile and pandered to the Sith's ego- just enough that he'd been willing to let me roam this part of Korriban mostly unhindered. And I'd found what I required, and then I'd left.
But now... now I led an empire. Now I had a war to win. And for that I needed trained Adepts- and Jorak Uln was powerful enough to both seek out and train suitable prospects... if he complied.
"I have only let a few Force sensitives walk these walls before now, my lord," Jorak answered slowly. "But I understand the playing field has shifted since your rebirth."
Jen! Come back!
"Indeed," I replied, and pulled the Force deep into my body, deep enough to impress upon him my superior power. "I have a Dark Jedi with me, Nisotsa, who shall serve as an off-world recruiter for your Academy. Lord Malak will be here in three months to witness your progress. I expect no less than six loyal Adepts, Jorak. If not, then my apprentice shall delight in testing his new experiments on you."
The damn mask made it hard to breathe on Korriban, with the tangy sulphuric taint in the air. The Force had once aided me in ignoring it, but it seemed that while some of my talents had strengthened… others had waned. The mask was a symbol I'd once believed in, when I'm been idealistic and not understood the real threat. These days, its foreboding presence carried more importance than its history.
…
A steel mask lay innocently on the ground.
The wind howled over the rocky terrain; it was a desolate and lonely place littered with the debris of war and the breaking of innocence.
The mask was of Mandalorian make, perhaps once belonging to a foot soldier, judging by its simple yet striking design. As I reached to pick it up, a Force vision blindsided me with such intensity that I felt a scream rip from my lungs.
…
Death. Howling death all around. The screams of a billion Cathar, all being relentlessly hunted due to one leader's ego. I could sense all the sparks of life extinguish one by one, and with each a small segment of my soul cried out in anguish.
I told them! Again and again… we can't ignore these atrocities… and this is proof!
What is this? Jen! Please, answer me!
…
My head jolted abruptly to the side, and a burning sensation spread throughout my cheek. I blinked.
A Cathar was standing in front of me, a wildly shocked expression in her amber eyes. The downy fuzz on her cheeks seemed to be standing on end. A Cathar just slapped me. Huh. Didn't they all just die? A tinny noise was ringing in my ears.
Jen, what did you just see? All those deaths in the Force? Are you- are you still there? Please- please-
"Jen," the Cathar said, her voice low and shaky. "Jen, come back to me." Her hand snaked out to switch the console off. Hey, I'd been watching that. I wasn't sure what I'd seen, though.
"Don't call me that," I said automatically. For some reason, she flinched.
"Ness?" she whispered, the very name a question in itself.
…
"Ness Jonohl," a voice said in disbelief.
The night was warm on the grassy plain, and the two men were staring at me outside the tent that was our temporary campsite.
The red-skinned Twi'lek was frowning, muttering something about luck under his breath before giving an audible sigh. "Well, I do not see another solution but to ride this one out. They are expecting Knight-" his mouth twisted, "Ness Jonohl to attend the delegation, so you shall go and I will accompany you as an advisory Master. We'll be staying out of the negotiations as much as possible."
No we won't, I thought in determination. Andara will become part of the Republic if I have anything to say about it.
JEN!
…
My face stung, and I opened my eyes once more. I was curled up in a foetal position, mumbling something incoherent as the same Cathar crouched over me. I'd never seen her eyes so wide.
Have I seen her eyes before?
Jen… do you know who I am?
The Cathar's hand shakily rose to cup the side of my face. She'd slapped me twice, I realized. All those images, flooding in, cracking through my mind. I shied away, it was too painful. I couldn't think about what I'd seen, what I'd felt. Who I was.
"Please, say something," she begged. Juhani… the name slowly floated up through my subconscious.
The door to the room swished upon, and a female Twi'lek strode in, her face pinched with barely concealed fury. She glanced down at me prone on the floor and her displeasure deepened.
Jen, you have to pull yourself together… please, answer me!
Bastila, I realized groggily. Bastila, I need your help.
"I trust your time has been productive," the violet-skinned Twi'lek sneered, looking at me scornfully.
A centred feeling of calm radiated in my mind, and the tatters of my psyche realized it was coming from Bastila. My bond-sister. Like a lifeline, I clutched onto it, and felt some semblance of sanity slowly seep into the cracks. The Ebon Hawk. Carth. Bastila. Mission. Juhani. Canderous. Zaalbar. The Star Maps. CarthBastilaMissionJuhaniCanderousZaalbar. I gasped. The sound echoed throughout the room.
"Get up," the Twi'lek hissed venomously. Her luminescent eyes were shooting sparks of fury at me. Yuthura, my mind rose helpfully. Something's happened to royally piss her off. "If this is your way of studying, you won't be here long."
I slowly stumbled to my feet, but my concentration was on Bastila, and the serene pull of the Force she was projecting out to me. Juhani was tenser than I'd ever seen her, a coiled spring of nervousness as she glanced between me and Yuthura. She's ready to fight, if need be. Her ears were laid flat against her head. What did I just see?
My mind flinched away, an instinct for survival.
Yuthura looked at the both of us, frowning as she took in our collective unease, and appeared to dismiss our situation. A disinterested, derisive expression crossed her face, and she turned on her heel.
"Follow me," Yuthura growled, and stalked out of the Archives.
I gave Juhani a shaky, slow nod, and we followed the Dark Jedi master out of the room in silence.
xXx
