I was sitting in the library with Mary and Remus on Thursday afternoon working on our Defence Against the Dark Arts homework.
"What is it again that the shape of your patronus is supposed to reflect?" Mary asked, flipping through her textbook.
"Something to do with your true character, I think," Remus said distractedly, sketching out a Dementor on his own parchment.
"That looks terrifying," I told him. "You're good at drawing."
He shrugged his shoulders, muttering a quiet thanks. We worked in silence for a few minutes, until I felt someone tap me on the shoulder. I turned around and saw a fifth year Hufflepuff prefect, McMillan.
"Hi Lily," she greeted me with a smile.
"Hey," I smiled back "What's up?"
"Well I've just heard from one of the Slytherins that my patrol partner, Goyle, got himself hurt in potions today, something about his cauldron blowing up. So I don't have a partner for tonight since he's still in the infirmary."
"Oh," I tried to contain a smile. Goyle was known for being somewhat of a hazard in a potions classroom, and it seemed that his reputation was justified. "Well I'm sure we can switch him with someone else, let me check." I pulled the prefect patrol roster from my bag and scanned through it briefly. I picked the pair of prefects on duty for tomorrow night and decided to switch one of them, trying to remember whether either of them would be free on a Thursday night. At that moment, Potter and Pettigrew joined us at the table, and Potter leaned over my shoulder to see what I was doing with the roster.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"Goyle's got himself injured so McMillan needs a new patrol partner tonight - I'm thinking either one of these two," I pointed at the names of the pair in question.
"Easy," Potter said. "Hufflepuff has training tonight, so we swap Goyle with Jorkins." He glanced up at McMillan. "You ok with that?"
She shrugged. "Yeah, no problems. Do I need to let Jorkins know?"
"Nah, that's ok," Potter smiled at her. "I'll find her and ask her to make the switch. If you can let Goyle know once he's out of the infirmary that he needs to patrol tomorrow that would be good though."
McMillan agreed and left, going back to her friends to continue her study.
"Why are you so sure you'll be able to find Jorkins?" I asked Potter. "She could be anywhere in the castle." James just shrugged, pulling his bag back over his shoulder.
"I passed her on my way here. I'll go find her now and see you guys later," he said easily.
Pettigrew and Remus exchanged glances, both hiding smiles and went back to their work. I wondered what that was all about, but couldn't be bothered asking.
"You two seem to have this Head student thing worked out pretty well." Mary told me. "You and Potter actually work well together."
"Why do you sound so surprised about that?" I asked her, my voice and face deadpan so she wasn't sure if I was being sarcastic or not. Pettigrew laughed.
"Because you've hated James since the day you met?" He said. The other two agreed, smiling.
"I didn't hate him!" I protested. "I just found him incredibly annoying." I was grinning now too. "But he's actually been quite good at the Head Boy thing so far." I thought back to his apology at the start of term and smiled to myself. Potter had grown up a lot last year.
"It is a bit odd though, don't you think, that Dumbledore made Potter Head Boy when he's never even been a prefect. I thought it would be you, Lupin," Mary said, looking directly at him. He looked a little uncomfortable and put down his quill.
"Well, Dumbledore always has his reasons, and I'm glad it's not me, really," Remus shrugged.
"So you weren't - you weren't upset that he didn't choose you" I asked carefully.
"No," Remus shook his head decisively. "I have enough to manage with studying for NEWTS, and well, I'm sure you've noticed that I get sick a lot. It would be hard to manage Head Boy duties when I end up ill or away so often. I nodded silently, looking down at my textbook and quickly flipping the page as I realised I had left it open on a page about werewolves. I had never actually confirmed with Remus - I didn't think it was my business, but I had noticed that his 'illnesses' and 'family emergencies' happened to coincide with the full moon suspiciously often. As much as I had vehemently shut down Severus' claim that Remus was a werewolf, when for some reason he had become certain of – and obsessive over – that fact in fifth year, I had come to think he was probably right. Mary however, hadn't come to same the conclusion.
"I've wondered about that," she told Remus, softly. "I don't mean to pry, but you are away a lot. Is it some kind of ongoing health problem?" Remus fidgeted uncomfortably, while Pettigrew coughed in surprise, and opened his mouth to speak but then shut it again, obviously not sure what to say.
"Sorry," Mary blurted." I didn't mean to ask such a personal question, you don't have to answer that, I just was curious is all," she was blushing madly.
I looked at Remus who was avoiding our eyes, staring fixedly at the table. I tried to figure out what to say to change the subject, but then he spoke.
"Yes," he said quietly, looking up but avoiding our eyes. "I have regular episodes of a certain illness; nothing life-threatening though, just a real inconvenience," he forced a smile and Pettigrew let out a loud, fake laugh.
"Yes, you're very inconvenient," he smiled.
Mary's curiosity wasn't sated. "Does your condition have a name?" she pressed. "Can it be cured?"
"No," Remus said quietly. "There's no cure. And yes, it has a name," he hesitated, and I wondered if he was going to confirm my suspicions.
Pettigrew was looking at him like he was nuts. "Moony, are you sure you want to -" he started, but Remus cut him off.
"Yes," Remus assured him. "I trust them." But his face was anxious in spite of his words.
"It's called lycanthropy." He said softly, staring his eyes flicking between Mary and I as he waited for our reactions.
Mary was mulling it over in her head. and I could see she knew the answer but was doubting herself. "Doesn't that mean - isn't that... are you a werewolf?" She asked in a whisper.
"Well, I prefer to say I have a furry little secret that rears its head once a month," Remus said firmly. "But yes, that is what I am."
I smiled at his terminology. "That must be rough," I told him.
"You - you don't seem surprised, Evans," Pettigrew told me, slowly. "Did Snape –" Remus gave him a look that clearly said; 'shut up!' and he stopped speaking mid-sentence.
I hesitated, trying to find the right words. "I had a suspicion that it might be that. The timing of your illnesses and family situations were a little too regular – I noticed when we had patrols together." I said quietly. "But I figured you'd tell me if you wanted me to know, so I didn't ask." I didn't acknowledge Pettigrew's comment about Snape, figuring it was easier to let sleeping dogs lie, and Remus seemed to agree.
"Thanks Evans," he said with a small smile on his face. "I appreciate that." He looked back at Mary, whose look of shock was now directed at me.
"You never said anything... " she trailed off slowly, but then suddenly seemed to realise that Remus was still waiting for her reaction, and turned back to face him. "I'm sorry to hear that," she told him earnestly. "Lily's right, that must be really tough. I had no idea"
"It is tough," he shrugged. "But there's not a lot I can do about it. So you two aren't afraid of me?" he asked, his face nervous once again.
"Right now, I'm more scared of getting a papercut from this book than I am of you," I told him. Mary nodded eagerly.
"I mean, I hope you don't mind if we avoid you on full moon nights, but other than that, why would we be afraid of you?" she added, smiling.
"Thanks," Remus told us both. "See, Peter I told you I can trust them." Pettigrew shrugged in apology, a smile on his face as he looked at Remus.
"Sorry girls," Pettigrew said earnestly. "And yes, I would recommend staying away from him on those particular nights." We all laughed and the tension broke somewhat.
"I'd appreciate it if you keep this quiet though," Remus said earnestly. "You can tell Prewett and McKinnon if you like, but please don't tell anyone else."
"Of course not," Mary reassured him.
I figured this was the best chance I would have to ask the questions I had been pondering for a while, so I decided to go for it. "I was wondering though, I hope you don't mind me asking, but where do you go during the full moon?" I asked. I had wondered whether there was a secure room in the castle where he could stay during his transformation.
"Well, actually," Remus grinned wolfishly. "You know that old house outside Hogsmeade, the one they think is haunted which they've started to call the Shrieking Shack?"
Mary and I both nodded, my mouth suddenly falling open as I connected the dots in my head. Awful howling noises coming from there occasionally, had only been happening since we had started school; it all made sense.
"Yes," Remus said, looking at my face. "I'm the one making the noise every full moon."
"But how do you get in there?" Mary asked. "And is it - well, I don't mean to sound rude, but it's very close to the village, so is it secure?"
"There's a secret passageway," Pettigrew told us eagerly. "It starts under the whomping willow, there's a trick to make the tree stay still while you get in."
"And yes, "Remus assured us. "It's quite secure. I've ever harmed a human during full moon."
"Well, that's good to hear," Mary said, hurrying to add. "Not that we'd blame you or anything, I mean."
"I know," Remus said gently. "I would hate myself if I harmed anyone, especially someone at this school. But it's very safe – Dumbledore wouldn't have suggested it otherwise."
There was a slight pause, and I wondered briefly how much we could ask before it would seem pushy. I didn't want to make Remus feel uncomfortable or judged but now he had brought it up, I was burning with curiosity.
"How long have you been - well how long have you had this condition.
Remus grimaced. "Since I was five. My dad had an argument with a werewolf he worked with at the ministry - lovely bloke, name of Greyback – so he came searching for us on the night of a full moon. I was his revenge on my father."
Mary looked disgusted, but I was too busy trying to place that name. Greyback, I had heard it somewhere recently.
"Why have I heard of him?" I pondered out loud.
"He was in the paper last week," Pettigrew muttered. "He was one of the wizards found in that Auror raid when they were trying to find the blood purity nutter, Voleymore or whatever he calls himself. Greyback didn't deny that he supports him so he was mentioned a few times in the article." We fell silent for a moment, not sure what to say to that.
"Anyway, to answer your original question," Remus said, looking back at me. "That's why Dumbledore didn't make me Head Boy, and I'm glad he didn't. It would be harder to play off my absences as occasional colds or family situations if I was in a position where people are relying on me. They would be much more likely to work out the timeline, like Lily did. Besides, I think it's actually good for James to have some responsibility pushed on him."
I nodded, mulling that over. "Yes, I think you're right actually. I'm enjoying working with him so far - I think he wants to prove Dumbledore that he deserves the badge, so he's actually being responsible which is nice."
"I think you mean boring," Pettigrew corrected me. "We haven't pranked a single Slytherin yet this year!" We all laughed at that and the serious tone of the conversation disappeared as we went back to chatting lightly about past Marauder pranks.
