The Caveclan apprentice den was nice. Marigioldpaw and Oriolepaw were the only ones sleeping in it, since Briarflower's kits weren't six moons yet. Marigoldpaw didn't mind it, actually preferred it, even if waking up next to Oriolepaw reminded her of what she'd lost.

Better still, she reminded herself, to think of what you've gained.

"How are you feeling?" Oriolepaw mewed, blinking sleepily.

"Fine," Marigoldpaw assured her. "What about you? Did you sleep okay?"

"Fine," Oriolepaw echoed, the exchange just as it had been for the past four sunrises.

"What did you see?" Marigoldpaw mewed, continuing the routine.

Oriolepaw tilted her head, thinking about it. "Nothing important," she finally said. "Mostly nonsense." Marigoldpaw nodded in the gloom and they both sat up to give themselves a quick groom. "Is today the day?" Oriolepaw asked. "How are your paws?"

Marigoldpaw frowned down at her feet. "Fine," she mewed. "You'll be there with me, right?"

"Every step of the way," Oriolepaw promised. "Are you ready now? Fawntail and Ravenheart will be waiting for us."

Ravenheart- Marigoldpaw wasn't sure how to feel about her new mentor. He was different from Squirrelwhisker, that was for sure. He seemed to be willing to give her the benefit of the doubt and see how she did before passing any true judgement on her, though they hadn't had much time to spend together, with Marigoldpaw on orders to rest from Cactusleaf.

And now he'd be going with them to Cliffclan. Marigoldpaw hadn't even gone near the border since Oriolepaw had taken her to Caveclan, though Cliffclan knew where she was. A Caveclan border patrol had informed the next Cliffclan patrol they saw where she was. They had left out that she was staying, simply that she was injured and they were taking care of her. Marigoldpaw had wanted to tell Brightstar herself.

"Good morning," Fawntail said when the two were in the antechamber. "By the looks on your faces, I'd say you two were planning something."

"We'd like to go to Cliffclan territory today," Marigoldpaw mewed. "Is that alright?"

"Sounds good to me," Ravenheart said. "You should eat first, though."

"I agree," Fawntail said. "I'll tell Batstar the plan while you two get some food in you. Long trek, isn't it?"

"It is," Marigoldpaw mewed, knowing from experience. She waved goodbye to her mentor and followed Oriolepaw to the fresh-kill pile. Darkgaze and Astertail were already there.

"Hello!" Darkgaze mewed when she saw them.

"Hello little bird, little flower," Astertail said warmly. The nickname and affection it carried filled Marigoldpaw with warm fuzzies. Oriolepaw's parents had taken to her immediately, more quickly than Marigoldpaw would have expected. "There's still some good prey left, and a hunting party already went out," Astertail continued, stepping aside so the two apprentices could take their pick.

"We're going to Cliffclan today," Oriolepaw told her mothers.

"You're feeling well enough?" Darkgaze mewed. "Oh, good. I was worried about you," and again Marigoldpaw was struck by how genuine these two cats were. "I wish we could accompany you, but I think a patrol that big would be cause for concern."

"The smaller the better," Marigoldpaw agreed. "But thank you, really," she was quick to add. The four cats chatted amicably as they ate in a corner. Soon enough Fawntail came back saying Batstar had approved the trip, and soon after that Oriolepaw and Marigoldpaw had finished eating, and then it was time to go.

Marigoldpaw had a feeling of trepidation as they crossed the border into Cliffclan territory. She knew the layout- everything still felt familiar- but it no longer felt like home. She led the patrol around cliffs when she could, but there were some places they simply had to climb. Marigoldpaw always went first, picking out the easiest routes. Fawntail had less trouble, what with being named after her natural balance and agility, and all, but the others floundered.

And then, just over a rise, they ran into a hunting patrol. "Who are you?!" Ivyclaw snarled, and then, "Wait- Marigoldpaw? Is that you?" Her eyes were wide with shock. "We thought we'd never see you again- What are you doing with these cats? They're Caveclan, aren't they?" Sheepfur had dropped the bird he was carrying.

"Hello Ivyclaw," Marigoldpaw mewed with a sigh. "We'd like to see Brightstar, if you please."

"Er- Okay," Ivyclaw mewed. Sheepfur and the two other cats in the patrol still eyed them suspiciously. "Follow us, and don't try anything. And Sheepfur, you mousebrain, don't forget that bird."

Oriolepaw shifted beside Marigoldpaw. She seemed fascinated by the territory, judging by the way she kept looking around. Marigoldpaw saw nothing special about Cliffclan's views, but she could remember when she did.

Eventually the camp came into sight, the tall cliff with the ledges on the side, and the top, with the clearing. Oriolepaw murmured something beside her, and Marigoldpaw brushed her tail again her side in reassurance.

"You three stay down here," Ivyclaw ordered at the base of the cliff. "Reedpelt, stay with them."

"I'd like Oriolepaw to come with me," Marigoldpaw mewed immediately. Ivyclaw flicked her tail but didn't object, and together they scaled the slope. The top was exactly as Marigoldpaw remembered it. She didn't know why she'd thought it would be any different.

Brightstar was sunning herself outside of her den. She got up as soon as she saw them, and Marigoldpaw was surprised to see how much bigger she looked. She was obviously pregnant now. "Marigoldpaw," she mewed, eyes flickering to Oriolepaw. Her voice was relieved.

"Hello, Brightstar," Marigoldpaw mewed.

"It's good to see you're in one piece," she mewed. There was a pause as Ivyclaw explained how her patrol had found them, and that there were two Caveclan warriors at the base of the cliff. "Thank you for the report, Ivyclaw. Dismissed. Who is this?" she mewed, indicating Oriolepaw.

"I'm Oriolepaw," the apprentice mewed.

Brightstar frowned. "Ah. I remember you. The one who can see the future." Her tone was disbelieving. "Or so-"

"Marigoldpaw said," Oriolepaw mewed, doing the thing where she said what someone was about to say. She continued, "How did you- What?" with Brightstar, and the leader stopped. She glanced between them. "Ah, I see," they said together again. Brightstar's tail flicked, annoyed.

"So," she started, and paused to see if Oriolepaw would continue her trick. "You weren't lying. Or you're very good at guessing, anyway. What is this about?" Her relieved tone had gone. She seemed less amicable now. Marigoldpaw felt a little regretful at that.

"Brightstar, I'm in Caveclan now," she said, straight to the point. "I've left Cliffclan."

"What?" Brightstar gasped. "But this is your home."

"Home?" Marigoldpaw mewed. The despair she'd been trying to hold back since they'd entered the territory came rushing in. "This hasn't been my home since Hawthornpelt died."

"But Marigoldpaw," Brightstar mewed, concerned. "You were born here. This is where your friends are."

"Not anymore. I can't stay here. I'm sorry."

"Why?" Brightstar asked, and the despair swamped Marigoldpaw.

"Because every time I climb a ridge I think of how Hawthornpelt never reached the top. Because every time I look at the horizon I remember how he can't. Because my own mother doesn't love me anymore and Brightstar, Brightstar I can't live like this, I can't live here." Her voice was choked, the words barbed and sticking in her throat, but she got them all out. "I can't stay. I wish I hadn't come. I-" Oriolepaw brushed against her side. Marigoldpaw forced her stare from Brightstar to her friend, to her split-color face, and gradually the despair sank away until it was manageable.

When she looked back at Brightstar, the leader's eyes were shining with sadness. "I felt this would happen. I hoped it wouldn't, Marigoldpaw. You were getting so angry and your training was stagnating, but I hoped that the longer we waited, the more time we gave you.. I was wrong. I see that now. I'm very sorry, Marigoldpaw. If I had intervened sooner.."

"It would have been the same," Marigoldpaw mewed. She shook her head. "My path was leading here from the beginning. Oriolepaw needs me in Caveclan, and I.. I need to be there. I want to be there."

"I see," Brightstar sighed. "Would you like to say goodbye before you leave?"

Was there anyone she even wanted to say goodbye to, Marigoldpaw wondered? But she said, "Okay," and Brightstar took a step forward to lick the top of her head.

"You take good care of her," she mewed to Oriolepaw, who nodded, and then she and Marigoldpaw were walking away.

"There's something I need to get," Marigoldpaw said. She hoped they were still there. She didn't know who was cleaning the dens now that she was gone, but still she hoped.. She hopped down the ledges on the cliff face and waited for Oriolepaw. Together they jumped across to the apprentice's den and ducked inside. The den was empty. Shock and horror seized Marigoldpaw's heart.

"I saved them," a voice behind them said, and Marigoldpaw turned to see Lightcloud standing on the ledge of the warrior's den. "Your feathers. I kept them safe." She leapt across the gap and ducked inside the den, striding to the very back. Marigoldpaw followed her. Lightcloud overturned a rock Marigoldpaw had managed to miss, and there they were, a little rumpled but still in one piece.

"Thank you," Marigoldpaw breathed, gratitude welling from the words. "Thank you so much, Lightcloud."

"I know they mean a lot to you," Lightcloud mewed. Her voice was sad, and Marigoldpaw looked up at her. Her ears were drooping. Her eyes shone with sadness. "You're leaving, aren't you, Marigoldpaw?"

She didn't know how Lightcloud knew. Perhaps she'd just overhead. Or perhaps not. Either way, Marigoldpaw said, "Yes," and watched as Lightcloud's expression fell further.

"I'm going to miss you," she mewed. "I.. I'd hoped.." She laughed, a soft, sad sound. "Well it seems silly now. It wouldn't have ever worked. You and I." The confession sparked shock in Marigoldpaw. Lightcloud had liked her. She'd hoped they'd be mates.

And the surprising thing was, Marigoldpaw could see it. Lightcloud was pretty. She was kind. In another world, in another time, where things had been different, she saw it: Hawthornwhisker, not Hawthornpelt, and her, Marigoldtail, happy. That Marigoldtail, nuzzling Lightcloud and sleeping next to her in the warrior's den. Starting a family, maybe. Someday.

But that wouldn't ever happen, none of it. Hawthornpelt was dead and so was every other reason Marigoldpaw had for staying in Cliffclan. "I'm sorry," she mewed truthfully.

"Sorry for something that never happened," Lightcloud mewed. "What a silly thing to be sorry about. Goodbye, Marigoldpaw," she said, and Marigoldpaw watched her walk away and disappear out of the den.

"Are you alright?" Oriolepaw mewed. Marigoldpaw took a moment to get herself back in order, and nodded. "I'll take these, if that's okay," Oriolepaw mewed, and picked up the feathers. Muffled, she added, "There might be more cats you want to talk to."

"Thank you," Marigoldpaw mewed, and they left the apprentice's den. Squirrelwhisker was coming down from the plateau. They faltered when they saw her, and rushed forward.

"Marigoldpaw," they said, voice choked. "I was so worried, I- Ah. Oriolepaw." There was a tense moment, and Squirrelwhisker shook their head. "This isn't a homecoming, is it."

"No," Marigoldpaw agreed. "After this, I'm not coming back."

"I see. I suppose it's too late to say I'm sorry?" Squirrelwhisker asked. They sounded resigned.

"It isn't," Marigoldpaw mewed. "It isn't, and I'm sorry, Squirrelwhisker. I was so angry, and.."

"You had reason. I see that now. You had reason and I wish I had paid more attention," Squirrelwhisker mewed. "I got caught up in.. in mentoring, and forgot to pay attention to how you were feeling. I'm sorry, Marigoldpaw. I wish I had done better."

"You were fine, Squirrelwhisker. At the beginning I wanted to be the best apprentice ever but then.. Then I didn't care. I didn't care about any of it. It wasn't fair to you," Marigoldpaw told her, tone insistent.

"We both acted like mousebrains," Squirrelwhisker sighed. "I'll miss you. Caveclan, yeah? Maybe we'll see each other on a border patrol."

"I'd like that," Marigoldpaw mewed. She touched noses with her old mentor one last time, and then Squirrelwhisker stepped aside to let them pass.

The hopeful mood Marigoldpaw had slowly managed to cultivate during her talk with Squirrelwhisker died as they reached the top of the slope and stepped out onto the plateau. There was Poppyface, standing across the plateau. Marigoldpaw could see the claw marks on her muzzle, still visible, barely healed. They'd scar.

Marigoldpaw crossed the few tail lengths to her mother. Poppyface didn't say anything to her, which left it to Marigoldpaw. "I'm leaving," she mewed. Poppyface nodded. "I suppose Brightstar told you. You must be glad. Now you won't have to look at me. Now you won't be reminded that I'm alive and Hawthornpelt isn't."

Poppyface simply shrugged. Marigoldpaw fought down the rage she was feeling and took a breath. When she spoke next, her voice was flat and held none of the sadness she felt. "You know it didn't have to be this way." She stepped back two pawsteps, and then started around her mother. Poppyface stared straight ahead. "Goodbye."

She almost thought she heard her mother's voice, a whisper like the wind, Goodbye, but that was wishful thinking. Only wishful thinking.

Marigoldpaw crossed the plateau to Brightstar. Her expression was sad. "I'm sorry, Marigoldpaw," she mewed. Marigoldpaw only shook her head.

"It doesn't matter," she said. "It's.. I'm leaving now. Thank you for letting me say goodbye."

"I'll tell the Clan when you're gone," Brightstar mewed gently. "I don't want you to be swamped with questions. Goodbye, Marigoldpaw. Good luck."

Marigoldpaw glanced at Oriolepaw and smiled. Her friend blinked at her, the two feathers still gently in her mouth, and Marigoldpaw shook her head. "Thank you," she said again. "But I don't think I need luck."

They went down the slope together, ready to head home.

Later that evening, when their trip to Cliffclan had begun to fade just the tiniest bit, Marigoldpaw and Oriolepaw found themselves in the apprentice den. The feathers were tucked into a crack in the cave wall, secure and stable.

"There's still one more cat you haven't talked to," Oriolepaw said. Marigoldpaw's ear flicked in surprise.

"Is there? Who did I miss?" she mewed.

"Sleep," Oriolepaw mewed. "And you'll find out. I've been working this out for a couple of days."

"Cryptic," Marigoldpaw sighed. "But alright." She settled into her nest, and Oriolepaw did the same in hers. They were close enough that they might as well have been in the same nest; their paws brushed. Marigoldpaw felt her eyes blinking, sliding shut and then drifting open.

And then, on one blink, she opened her eyes to a whole different world. A sea of grass, shining and golden and waving in a gentle wind, and a pond, a deep, deep pond without a single ripple-

"Don't look," Oriolepaw mewed, pushing Marigoldpaw's head away. "Don't. Look over here, instead," and so Marigoldpaw did. She gasped.

"Hey," Hawthornpelt said. Marigoldpaw stumbled toward him and he dipped his head to catch her and stop her from falling. "Hey now, come on," he protested, and Marigoldpaw got herself under control. He looked exactly the same as she remembered him, white pelt, green eyes, but there was a shimmer to him.

"It's you," she whispered. "You, really, I can see you, I can touch you, you're here." She was taller than him now. Bigger in general. The thought made her sad.

"I know," he mewed. "I missed you," and they embraced, hooking their heads over each other's backs.

"I missed you too, so much," Marigoldpaw mewed. He felt solid under her, real and warm.

"I haven't stopped watching over you," he said. "I'm so sorry, Marigoldpaw. I wish I could have been there."

"I wish you could have been there too," Marigoldpaw whispered. "I wish that every day."

"It wasn't your fault," he said. He pushed her away, gently, to look in her eyes. "Okay? It wasn't your fault at all."

And the guilt she harbored drained away, just a little. "I should have been there. I should have helped you."

"That's not how it went," he mewed. "Neither of us will never know, and you can't tear yourself up over what might have beens. It was never your fault." He licked her forehead, washing away more of the guilt. "I'm proud of you, Marigoldpaw. I'm glad you've got Caveclan now." He glanced at Oriolepaw, and Marigoldpaw felt her ears heat up.

"Me too, Hawthornpelt," she said. "Thank you."

"I love you. I'll never stop loving you," Hawthornpelt said, and the way he said it widened her eyes and made her step forward. "I'll always be watching over you, Marigoldpaw."

"Can't we talk longer?" she pleaded, but he shook his head. "Please."

"I'm sorry for what Poppyface did to you," he mewed. His voice was sad. "It wasn't fair."

"None of it was," Marigoldpaw agreed. Her tone was helpless. "Will I see you again?"

"Someday, maybe," he said. "We'll see, okay? Keep that feather for me. Even without it I'll be there, but I'm glad knowing that you have them. I love you."

"I love you too. So much, Hawthornpelt." It looked like he was fading, the shimmer in his pelt glittering brighter. He looked like he was full of stars. She touched her nose to his, and as she pulled away she realized it wasn't just him that was fading. The entire area was, growing transparent and pale and disappearing.

"Goodbye," Hawthornpelt mewed a moment before he and the pond and the grass blinked out of existence.

"Goodbye," Marigoldpaw whispered in the apprentice's den. Oriolepaw's paw was still touching hers. "Thank you," she said to Oriolepaw. "So much." Oriolepaw pressed down on her paw gently.

In the darkness of the den, Marigoldpaw smiled.