Chapter 19: Touch of Gray
"First comes the day, then comes the night.
After the darkness shines through the light.
The difference, they say, is only made right
By the resolving of gray through refined Jedi sight."
―Journal of the Whills, 7:477
Felucia, Shaak's home, 0 BBY 9 months, 25 days, 6 hours
A few hours passed. Everyone – Shaak, Ahsoka, Hedala, Frehya and Darth Vader, now in a coma – were together on Felucia. The Dark Lord was taken to what Shaak referred to as the "clinic" for the Order, and she also held the "chief of surgery" title in this limited capacity facility. Vader had the equivalent of a private room, in that others were not free to look in on him. While he rested, his body slowly healing from the brutal electric blasts given him by Ahsoka and Maris, the two Masters had a long discussion at Shaak's private home.
After the two of them were seated, and were partaking of one of the GM's favorite herbal blended beverages, one that tended to focus the mind, Ahsoka led off:
"Master, I've been thinking over a lot of things. Can we just take some time tonight?"
"Surely, my darling. I know you've wanted that opportunity. What do you want to talk about first?"
"Well …" she looked around and took a sip, then took a deep breath and exhaled. "About this … Order, as you call it. How long have you been building it and what was your original purpose?"
"Ah …" Shaak smiled, then turned to gaze directly at her adopted daughter. "I of course did not set out to form such a group. When Maris and I first left Coruscant, we first had to settle on a suitable place. This planet was always a personal favorite."
"Really? I had a rather rough time here during the War. Perhaps you heard about it?"
"Yes. We in the Council were always kept abreast of the goings-on during those years. And I of course was always greatly interested in your progress as a Padawan. So I was most gratified to learn of how you handled that whole thing. Anakin had come back to report on what happened and you should have heard him brag about how smart you were and how brave too. He made it sound like you were a one-woman army." Shaak laughed softly.
Ahsoka's lekku changed color a bit at that. She was of course, quite proud of many of the battles and adventures she'd been part of during those days. It was good to know that someone like Shaak had been watching. "Yeah …" she sighed. "I'll always remember those times … So, Master, what about this place made you choose it?"
"For the most part, it was peaceful and quiet here, once the undesirable elements had been driven off. Maris and I settled in and then we started thinking about what we could do with this place as a base of operations. As you know, your old master Anakin was making it rather hot for us to live openly as former Jedi."
"So that was when you started the idea of training people?"
"Not right away. I of course had the beginnings of my collection of holocrons – which I've added to over the years – and there was lots of time to study. Always being rather fond of building things, I set about creating the various structures and facilities you see here today. My knowledge grew quickly and I realized I had to take control of this planet and start to make it safe from outsiders. Fortunately, the Empire seemed to have little use for it."
Ahsoka took another drink of the tea, and noted, "This is really quite good. I feel like I'm being made more alert, but at the same time relaxed."
Shaak nodded. "Yes. This is a blend that I discovered slowly, by experimenting with which herbs work best together. Not many Masters spend time studying plants and their relationship to the Force, but on many worlds, almost 99% of the life is vegetation. You see, as most Jedi will readily recite, the Force binds us and is said to hold the Galaxy together. But those are just empty platitudes unless you take the time to go deeper."
Ahsoka smiled and looked lovingly at her new mother. "I just love spending time with you. I feel so much smarter."
Shaak continued. "It wasn't long before I discovered the natural Force sensitivity this place has. You can feel it in the forests if you truly take time, and there were once a number of creatures that had natural Force abilities. Unfortunately most of them have died off. Not long before I settled here, a bunch of greedy charlatans from the Corporate Sector had some kind of mining scheme where they tried to dig up a lot of the land. They didn't find much of value, but managed to swindle a bunch of gullible would-be investors. And of course, there were those despicable Trandoshan hunters and their arranged safaris. You, my dear, did a lot toward driving that scum from the planet."
Ahsoka nodded and smiled. "So when did you start to train your acolytes?"
"Maris and I started searching the galaxy for places we knew had great promise. Many were on the Outer Rim, as you might expect, but there were plenty of exceptions. Our newest Knight, Xendar Silkaw, is one example."
"I like him. He seems strong and confident. A good choice Maris made to pick him."
Shaak nodded again. "So we were able to convince many possible candidates to come with us. One by one, we brought them here. And we built all of what you see here – the Assembly Hall, the Arena, the Clinic, the bunkhouse, and other things involving the security of our world. We have also slowly built a fleet of ships, and we are also planning to add more military craft and train pilots to fly them. Our acolytes now number over sixty, all with natural Force abilities."
"Very impressive, Mother. So tell me, how does one advance in the Order?"
"Well, the best acolytes are considered for Padawan status. Currently we have fifteen such individuals. The Padawan has three stages of development, each of which is more difficult than the one before it. Three people are now at that third stage. They will be competing against each other, soon, in a series of tests to determine their readiness for Knighthood. Once you make it as a Knight, there are five levels to progress. But these are not automatic and require full devotion and much diligence. Maris, for example, has made it to the third level of Knighthood, but that has taken her almost twelve years."
"So, how about becoming a Master?"
"Quite difficult. As you know, most Jedi Knights never came close to making it that far. Which is why I want you to be so proud of your achievement. For Masters there are also five levels."
"I see. So it means my Frehya and Hedala are at Padawan stage 1."
"Correct. But I feel they each have strong potential. It will depend on how much they want to go further."
Ahsoka then shifted topics. She was of course most interested in what might happen to Anakin. Would he leave behind his Sith training and join the Order? Would Shaak consider him worthy of Master status?
The GM stroked her chin for a few seconds, as if contemplating something of deep importance, then answered.
"It remains to be seen what we might be able to expect from Lord Vader. He sustained a rather serious dose of the current."
It seems that Maris's blast had been the one to incapacitate him. Vader was especially vulnerable to these types of attacks as his cyborg features could readily conduct the current and quickly short circuit. This process would leave him in grave danger of being unable to breathe. Ahsoka had meant her attack to mostly disable him but keep him in a compliant position. Maris, who was momentarily angered by Vader's attempts to throw her off balance, had done much greater damage. Ahsoka began to better understand how powerful Shaak's first apprentice had become. Maris always seemed outwardly humble and obedient, but her ambition was unmistakable. The Zabrak was rightly proud of her long association with the GM and held her in great reverence.
"So, Mother, do you think he will recover? And if so, will he accept our offer to join our organization?"
"I have begun considering the possibilities. Right now, I think it is unwise to openly challenge Palpatine. Although we could likely triumph, there remains the matter of the Imperial military and its substantial level of forces, in particular this Death Star they are close to completing."
"Ah, yes, I understand. We likely need to learn a lot more about our enemy. Do you think we will find the key to stopping the Death Star?"
Shaak took a healthy swig of her tea and seemed to shrug. She twisted her left hand somewhat, as if openly weighing ideas. Then she answered. "Yes, I do, my child. In fact, I think the time will come in the next few months. At some point they are going to get a successful test of these huge lasers they are completing, and once that happens, they will consider the station to be operational. And because I understand Tarkin, they will look to do extreme damage, as if to set an example for the Galaxy. Then they will look to find our bases and will start obliterating them."
Ahsoka visibly shuddered at the thought. "We just have to get those plans. But how? Are they really on the planet Scarif?"
Shaak nodded. "Yes, I believe so. But that may not be the only reason they keep that place under lock and key. We will devise a plan to get in there, but it will take a brave bunch of people to carry it out."
"Such people must exist, Mother."
Coruscant, 0 BBY 9 months, 25 days, 8 hours
At that moment, Emperor Palpatine was starting to wonder what had happened with his apprentice, Darth Vader. He was expected to find and bring back Ahsoka Tano, whom they would convert to the Dark Side as another valuable asset. Recent reports indicated her powers had greatly increased, but how reliable were these reports or was it simply conjecture on the part of Lord Vader? Palpatine had usually trusted the judgment and sharp analytical ability of his apprentice, though he well understood that, as a Sith, Vader might well be working at cross-purposes with him. What if he and Tano were forming a quiet alliance against me? And how long has he known that she was still alive? The answers to these questions evaded him and this was potential cause for concern. Furthermore, at the current time, he was unable to contact Lord Vader.
Appearing before him this day was the Grand Moff, Wilhuff Tarkin, who was there to report on the progress being made on the Death Star project. Tarkin reassured him that everything was going beautifully and soon the high intensity lasers would be ready for a test. He also noted the recent reports of the founding of a rebel alliance and that it seemed to be gaining ground. A completed battle station would be the answer to that and the Galaxy would soon learn the price to be paid for openly opposing the Empire in general and the Emperor in particular. But Palpatine was not satisfied with happy talk from subordinates like Tarkin, who would be expected to tell him what they thought he wanted to hear. People like that tended to discount the importance of the Force.
Another recent event a few months back involved the strange collapse of a Star Destroyer, one that was newly built and fresh from the factory. It had been explained away as faulty procedures and crew error but that didn't quite add up in his mind. If somehow the cause was due to the Force, then it would have been a rather powerful wielder of it that was responsible. I just cannot believe that Tano is capable of such ability, so who was helping her? There were, as of yet, no answers at all, even for one as powerful as the Galactic emperor. The galaxy was so large that many things could still be hidden – things that Lord Vader was expected to find.
Felucia, Shaak's home, 0 BBY 9 months, 25 days, 9 hours
Ahsoka still had additional topics to go over with her mother. Some things were starting to trouble her.
"Master Shaak, I've been thinking about these abilities that we are now using. Electrical current, and this talk of shattering our opponents. I realize that they would be happy to do the same to us, and building something like a Death Star is clearly proof of that. But the traditional Jedi teachings seemed to be opposed to such abilities, saying they were the path to the Dark Side."
Shaak shifted a bit in her seat, then smiled and gazed at her beautiful and cherished daughter.
"Darling, I am actually glad you decided to ask me about this. It marks your continued growth in understanding and the desire to know more. First, let me ask you a simple question. Do you believe the Jedi were the inventors of the Force or simply an organization that desired greater understanding?"
"Clearly the latter, Mother."
"Well, then. I firmly believe that there is no inherent limitation on our level of knowledge, nor are there things that we are 'just not supposed to know,' Shaak stated with a wink. "Now, can you tell me what your thinking is with regard to the Dark Side?"
Ahsoka pondered this for a few seconds. "Well, it's when you give in to anger and hatred and let greed and lust for power dominate you."
"Sure, that's a good working definition. So do you feel this happening to you?"
Ahsoka shook her head firmly. "No. But I must admit I feel anger at the Empire and at Palpatine for what they have done. I'm angry with Anakin over much of what he has done. But he is more of a lost soul, who was taken advantage of. I still blame myself for some of it. He depended on me more than I knew. And I left him hanging."
Shaak smiled sweetly and looked at her with pride. "You would not be my daughter otherwise. And you no doubt understand what it will take to defeat an enemy that builds something like a Death Star and over 20,000 Star Destroyers?"
Ahsoka nodded. "Of course, Mother."
"And you also must realize that the only way we can hope to win is by winning the hearts and minds of the people of the Galaxy?"
She nodded again.
"And because this is war, that many people will have to die – on both sides?"
Ahsoka rose from her seat and came over to her mother, who remained seated.
"Mother, of course I get all that. But does it also mean we use Force vortex, Force lightning, the Circle of Light, and who knows what else you haven't shown me to make it happen? So how are we different than the Sith?"
Shaak sighed softly and reached out to Ahsoka, who let herself be pulled into her mom's embrace.
"My sweet beautiful girl. We are different because we care. Because we have love – for each other and for the Galaxy and all of the wonderful people and things in it. This is our home and it falls to us to protect it. To protect it from all of the evil that runs rampant and threatens those whom we love. The evil that takes good people such as Anakin and turns them into faceless monsters. And that evil is large and it is strong. And it will take everything we have in order to defeat it. But defeat it we shall. Do you believe that?"
Ahsoka smiled and relaxed in Shaak's arms, then exhaled slowly. "I have to believe it. Or why fight? Almost all my life I was prepared to fight and be a warrior and I am proud to be one. But I want to fight for more than just those abstract things. I want to have someone to love and care for, someone to protect. It makes me feel wonderful to learn under you and become all that I can be. Maybe those dreams aren't crazy after all. Maybe I can lead people and inspire them."
Ahsoka rose from Shaak's embrace and sat in her chair again, taking a last drink of the tea and then a deep breath, and asked, "So are you saying that the reality is that there is Light and Dark in all of us, just different amounts?"
Shaak nodded. "Yes ... But it's more than that. We must realize that Light and Dark are symbiotic. There cannot be one without the other. Think about it. Without the darkness of space, the stars have no purpose. And without a light to inspire each and every one of us, what is our purpose?"
"A good way to look at it, Mother. It's not how things were explained to me, but I understand what you are saying. We shouldn't limit ourselves to old ways of seeing things. But I promised to myself, to use my new knowledge to help people and win the war. And if I do become a leader of people, I will lead with integrity. You have my trust, Grand Master Shaak – and you have my love."
Shaak smiled and stood, then walked over to Ahsoka and put a hand on her shoulder. "We will be victorious. I feel it. The Force tells me."
Felucia, 0 BBY 9 months, 20 days, 21 hours
A few days passed and everyone was still on Felucia. One night, Shaak, Ahsoka, and Maris had a holo conversation with Yoda. He was quite intrigued to learn that Vader was now in their care, at least temporarily. Ahsoka asked him directly if he thought Anakin could be brought back to the Light. His answer, as usual, was paradoxical:
"Deep in the influence of Palpatine, Skywalker is. A difficult path he must walk. Very dangerous your attempt may be, but succeed you can. Master Tano, trust in the Force you must. Bright, your future is."
Later, she mulled over his thinking in her mind. Yoda is worried that I am too deeply involved here but Shaak always tells me to trust my heart because it is the Force inside of me.
Shaak went to observe Vader's progress, and decided it was time to bring him out of the coma. She and Ahsoka went to his private enclosure at the clinic, while Maris stood watch outside. Vader's mask had been removed and he was now breathing on a ventilator. His damaged mechanical legs had been repaired but not yet reattached. As he awoke, Shaak raised the head of the bed a few degrees of incline, so he could face Ahsoka and herself directly.
Ahsoka looked at him sadly but tried to cover her pity. Mustn't put him in that position. Shaak addressed him first.
"Lord Vader. You are with us again. We are helping you to heal."
"Where am I?" His voice sounded much like Anakin's again to Ahsoka's ears.
"In a safe place. How are you feeling?"
"Better. What is your plan for me, Grand Master?"
Shaak took a breath and answered. "That will depend on you. We will provide you with a choice."
"What kind of choice?"
"Which master you wish to serve ... myself – or your current."
Without hesitation, he answered. "I choose you, Grand Master. Your power is clearly greater."
Shaak nodded, but her face remained expressionless.
"Ahsoka, would you like to say anything?"
Ahsoka looked around for a bit, clearly a little nervous. "Anakin – is it really you now?"
Vader stared back at her, and shook his head slightly. His range of motion was greatly limited.
"Ahsoka …" he heard himself say the name again, and it felt somehow right. "I do not deserve the love I feel from you."
She shook her head at this. "Of course you do, Anakin. I know what you have gone through. But I am here for you now."
Again he resisted. "No, Ahsoka. You do not know the pain I have felt. No one should know that."
Tears were coming to her eyes at this, and she tried, helplessly, to stem them. "Anakin, you must rest now. I will see you again soon." She reached out to touch his nearly lifeless form on the bed and gave him a slight bit of encouragement via the Force, which she could feel being returned. Feeling hopeful, Ahsoka turned and left the room. She joined Maris and they stood silently together, waiting for Master Shaak.
The GM stared at Vader for a bit, then asked, "Is there anything else you would like to tell me?"
He stared back, and found himself making the words come. "Only this, Grand Master. I once told Ahsoka I would never hurt her. I will keep that promise."
She clicked her tongue at that, not exactly believing it, but then thought. What if he is sincere? But she quickly scoffed at the notion internally. She'd seen too much.
"Lord Vader, I would like to believe you. So I propose to give you a means of showing your faith toward me. Allow me some time to devise a proper test."
He looked at her carefully, then probed with the Force, but Shaak's mind was unyielding. Impressive. He thought. She is like a fortress, only allowing what she wants to get in. When I was a Jedi she was much the same, but stupidly, I thought she was a dull old woman, not worth a second look. For a moment he saw Shaak Ti as potentially an extremely powerful Sith Lady, one that would strip Sidious bare if it came to that. Making an enemy of her would be most unwise, so he softened his glare at her and spoke.
"Master Ti … I wish to demonstrate my loyalty to you. Tell me what I must do."
Shaak's stare turned slightly benign. "I wish for you to rest now, Lord Vader. You have much more healing to do."
"As you wish, Grand Master."
Shaak nodded, turned and walked away, closing the partition to Vader's enclosure.
While she was with him, Ahsoka and Maris chatted briefly.
"Maris, I wish you hadn't used that electricity on him. You caused great damage."
"My apologies, Master Ahsoka. I was acting out of anger. He has done so much harm to so many innocents in the Galaxy."
"Well … all right, I understand."
"Ahsoka, can I ask why you care about him so much?"
"Because I knew him before all of this happened. He was my master and he looked after me like a brother. He taught me so much and we helped each other whenever it was necessary. Without Anakin, I wouldn't be the person I am today. When I was put on trial – for a crime I did not commit – he was the only one who believed in me. Yoda, Mace, even Shaak, thought I was guilty. If I can forgive them – which I have – I have to do what I can to help him."
Maris nodded in sympathy. "I guess I understand. Few today would ever see this man – Darth Vader – as being any kind of caring and loving master. But maybe he can change? I don't know. It will be up to Master Shaak."
"Yes, of course. But she seems to be open to giving him a chance."
They then kept quiet once Shaak rejoined them. She suggested they observe some training contests to be held at the Arena. As they watched a series of one-on-one duels, Ahsoka was again impressed with the energy being shown in the contests. It's like they know I'm here and want me to be impressed. It was simply another example of how she had become greatly accepted by the other members of the Order. After all, Ahsoka had become second in command and they were well aware of her reputation as a warrior, but they were also beginning to see her as a leader. Ahsoka had a natural way of winning people over as her sincerity was always in abundance.
Various locations, 0 BBY 9 months, 13 days
The next day, Vader continued to grow stronger. After another week went by, Shaak decided it was time to move him from Felucia. She went to his room and placed him back into unconsciousness for the journey. They had decided he would be taken back to Corporate Sector, so as to give him the proper cover story for when he would next see the Emperor. Upon being checked into a hospital there on Issagra, Shaak and Ahsoka then visited his room and he was revived. He understood that Shaak was not ready to trust him by divulging where he had been and who else had attended to him. He only was aware of the two Togruta masters, neither of which he would reveal to the Emperor until Shaak decided it was time. His spacecraft had been repaired so he could return to his galactic travels.
But they had reached an arrangement. He would begin to supply various information via the intra-galactic communication network that Shaak had set up, which was still unknown to Palpatine and the Imperial command. Timely information regarding the Death Star and other movements of Imperial forces was to be given. He also would not be permitted to know about Yavin 4 – or the ongoing effort to gain the Death Star plans. In return, Shaak and Ahsoka agreed that their relationship with Vader would be kept from the other leaders of the Rebel Alliance. Vader's body was in better shape than it had been in years, as Shaak had healed many of his old wounds originally given to him by Obi-Wan Kenobi some 18 years prior. His breathing apparatus had been made more efficient and he had a new spring in his step as his legs seemed to work better than ever. As they left him, he vowed to them both that he would not fail them, as they had shown him great compassion and now they needed him to help defeat the Empire. Vader also was still unaware that he had two children. Shaak decided that time would eventually come, but as for now it would be kept from him.
Ahsoka then returned to her home on Almania and was joined by her two apprentices. She had some catching up to do with Tri'ku Je'har and wanted to see what her pal Chelli Aphra was also up to. It had been a week to remember.
To be continued …
