Friendships

- Mission Vao -


"Hah!" I crowed, slamming down a flip-card and shooting Dustil a smug grin. "Time to cough up. I just whipped you, again."

"This is a dumb game," he muttered, but there was a slight grin on his face as he nudged me another expired cred chit across the ship's grated floor. They were leftover plasteel chits from slimy Davik Kang's stores, the ones that'd been voided when I'd tried to cash 'em in on Manaan.

Sure, I woulda played for real creds in a flash, but no one on the 'Hawk felt like handing me their hard dosh anymore. It was lame.

"You're just sayin' that 'cause you keep losing," I teased in a sing-song voice.

Dustil rolled his eyes at me. It softened his face, chased away the suspicious look he so often sported. I liked teasing him. It's good for him, I reckon. Sheesh, an' he could do with taking himself a lil less seriously.

"It's a game of chance, Mission," Dustil said. "You won't give me any of your side-deck cards. There is such a thing as an unfair advantage, you know."

"Pffft." The air breathed past my lips in a dismissive sound. "Not my fault you don't have your own side-deck. Pazaak's like, what? The most popular gambling game in the galaxy? You gotta learn to be prepared, Dee."

His head snapped up; his brown eyes widened in shock. "What- what did you just call me?"

A furious blush flooded into my cheeks. Oops. "Um…"

Dustil blinked. He didn't look mad, or anything- just confused. And yet, as soon as he figured out I'd been snooping, this casual friendship that'd sprung up between us might be completely borked. Because of me and my big mouth.

Okay, maybe 'cause I was bored and started poking through the security feeds. My cheeks were still burning, and Dustil was still staring at me in puzzled expectation.

"I may have, kinda, been looking through the Hawk's external cams," I mumbled, shifting restively on the floor of Carth's quarters. It was the only room Dustil was easy in; he seemed to be avoiding the rest of the crew like they had the rakghoul disease or something. "Maybe, at the same time your friend turned up back on Yavin station."

We'd shot into hyperspace a few hours ago. Part of me wondered why Dustil hadn't stayed behind with his friend; I mean, sure, his dad was here- but we were going after freaking Malak, and Dustil'd only been part of our whole quest since Kashyyyk, really.

Didn't mean I wasn't glad about it, though. He was pretty freaking powerful, and… and it was nice to have a friend my age. That is, if I hadn't just stuffed it all up.

There was a slight narrowing to his gaze; the creeping in of wariness, mistrust- the same look he had around everyone. It made me sad.

"Look, I'm sorry, okay?" I wrinkled my nose and stared at him in appeal. "I didn't mean to snoop or anything. Honest. I was just- bored. I won't call you that if you don't want me too."

I wasn't gonna admit I'd centred the cams and amp'd the audio on him and his friend – that cute guy who'd told me to give Dustil another chance back when we were leaving Korriban, back when I'd been ready to dump a gallon of Peragian fuel on him in his sleep. The cute guy was right, though. About Dustil.

And Dustil, really, was just as cute, I thought. If he ever learned to loosen up a bit.

"I, uh-" Dustil broke off, his shoulders hunching up in an awkward movement that was overwhelmingly familiar. "It's- it's okay. You can if you want. It's just, only Mex and Selene ever…" He looked away, staring into nothing with a slight smile. His voice dropped to a whisper of remembrance. "It was damn Mekel who started those nicknames, you know, although Selene flat-out refused to be called Sel."

Dustil shook his head, eyes blinking, as if throwing off the cobwebs of his past. It was a shame- I found I kinda wanted to know more about it all. I knew it had to be bad- it was a Dark Jedi Academy after all- but it was his past. And I was finding myself more and more curious about him.

Dustil looked down at the mess of pazaak cards in his dad's room. He was still holding a 2-pointer in his hand that woulda won the round if I hadn't laid down a special. "This is a stupid game," he muttered.

"So you keep saying." I snickered. "Sheesh, you're as bad as Jen, y'know. All these excuses about the game, when in reality you got the card sense of a Wookiee on gree spice."

But his face hardened, then; his eyes narrowed and his lips thinned. It took me one sec to work out why- Jen.

"You don't- you don't really seem to get it, do you?" he forced out in a low hiss. "She's- I don't care if she's somehow lost her memory- you don't seem to get just what she was. How strong she still is."

"She's my friend," I said, frowning at him. "We've been through so much together-"

"She used to be the Dark Lord of the Sith, Mission!" His voice raised, edging high into incredulity. "Like Darth Malak is now, except she's the one who started the entire war! Her brain might be completely fried or something, but she's still got the same frakking Force-"

"Dustil, look," I cut in. "She's-"

"No, you look- she's killed millions of people around the galaxy. Destroyed planets. Turned on the frakking Republic with half their own fleet. And I don't know what she was playing at with Dad-"

"Um-" I shuffled back from him awkwardly. "I don't reckon that's got anything to do with anything, y'know-"

"How can you be so- so- so frakking calm about traveling with the likes of her? And now, Yudan Rosh, one of her faithful generals, has flocked back to her side-"

"Well, I'm not so sure about him," I muttered, lifting a hand to smooth a lekku behind me, feeling ill-at-ease as our conversation dovetailed. "But you can tell he's still screwed up, what with those weird eyes an' all-" I paused, staring hard at Dustil. He looked mad. "Jen's eyes are fine. I dunno how this Sith thing works, but surely that counts for something, right? And look, you can't deny that if it weren't for her, you'd still be back on Korriban. She's done some pretty amazing things along the way."

The pazaak card slipped from his hand. "If it wasn't for Revan," Dustil hissed, his voice twisting with venom, "Telos would still be intact. And I would still be living there, and my mother would still be alive."

I felt my face burn with embarrassment.

"You're a kid, Mission," Dustil said, sneering, his voice turning dark and nasty. With a sick jolt, I was reminded of the first time we'd met. How he'd, suddenly, flipped into this complete jerk- "You have no idea what the Sith truly mean. You have no idea what it's like to watch your homeworld destroyed-"

The embarrassment winked out, to be replaced with a sudden, sharp temper.

"My homeworld was Taris, you moron!" I yelled, jumping up to my feet. My fists clenched. "I had to watch the plasma falling and everything burning as our ship made it out only just in time! And I can't believe you, of all sents, have the gall to call me a kid!"

"Me?" Dustil blinked, taken aback. He slowly clambered to his feet in response, a handful of pazaak cards dropping from his lap. His cheeks were mottled red, and his gaze snapped sparks of anger at me. "What the frakk is that supposed to mean?"

But I was so sick of everyone dissing me, bringing up my age again and again. I hadn't expected it from freaking Jen when she'd tried to make me stay behind on Yavin – and yeah, I knew it was 'cause she cared an' all, but it'd still hurt. And now Dustil, who was only a year older-

I felt my eyes narrow in returned anger. "You might've spent the last few years playing bully games with your Dark Jedi mates, but my entire life has been tryin' not to die in the corridors of the Lower City! You had a family for most of your childhood! All I had was a sleemo brother more interested in making creds than keeping his baby sister safe!"

His eyes widened at that- like I'd slapped him. "You've got no right to talk about my childhood!" he snarled. "You know nothing about it!"

I snorted in disdain. "I know you had it easier than me," I shot back, glaring. "And I know you had it easier that Jen, too."

All I really knew about Jen's early past was that it'd been similar to mine. Harder, I'd gleaned. Hungrier. Poorer. Although probably, I shouldn't have tacked on that last comment. I realized this as Dustil's temper devolved into ice-cold fury. The look on his face was ugly; his eyes had pinched to slits of burning anger, and his lips were curled back in disgust.

"I don't give a crap what her childhood was like." He glared at me contemptuously. As if I wasn't worth another second of his time. "No amount of pity-story can make up for a hundredth of what she's caused. You're an idiot, Mission. A stupid, naïve idiot."

In a blink, he completely vanished; but I heard the tread of his boots as he stomped over to the hatch, opened it, and stormed out.

And I was left glaring at the closed door, standing in the midst of discarded pazaak cards.

"Screw you, Dustil Onasi," I whispered, blinking back tears.

xXx

"(Mission)," Zaalbar complained. "(You're sitting on half the workbench)."

He was lugging a panel of Calo's armour, the side piece he'd cut down to fit me weeks ago. I'd already pushed all of his repair tools to one side of the 'bench so I could sit, with my legs kicking against the posts.

I was bored. And miffed. Really miffed.

Maybe a lil upset, too.

Zaalbar huffed, as if to further repeat his point; so I shimmied to the edge of the workbench, knocking a fusion-cutter to the ground that made Big Z groan. I glared mulishly at the wall. I hadn't seen Dustil since he'd stormed off nearly a full day ago, and I was still fuming over our stupid argument.

"Stupid laser brain," I muttered under my breath.

'Course, Big Z being Big Z, he totally heard me.

"(Mission)." Zaalbar looked up from the panel he'd been examining. The blue-and-white exoskeleton still fit me fine, but some of the duranex clasps had been totally fried. Sure, the armour itself had protected my torso from that slug breath's lightning, but it seemed the resistance had stopped at the stupid clasps. And since Carth had chucked out near all of our spare parts to appease the trader back on Yavin, Big Z was having a hard time repairing anything.

"What?" I knew my voice sounded sharp and sulky, like a kid's, like the kid stupid Dustil had accused me of being-

I scowled.

Zaalbar was frowning at me, big bushy brows of hair bristling over his black eyes. It was a familiar look. For me, anyways.

"(You are not still mad at Jen, are you?)"

"What?" I blinked. "Oh! No. Not really."

She'd found me earlier, nudged me while offering a friendly apology, said she was glad to have me with her. I wasn't totally sure she really meant that, but I appreciated the effort.

One thing about Jen, she was able to front up and say sorry when she'd stuffed things up. Well, at least about the little things. Don't think anyone could apologize about the stuff she's done in the past.

I hated to admit that Dustil might actually have some reason to react the way he did. Jen's gonna fix it, though. And that's way better than an apology.

Big Z was still staring at me steadily.

I sighed. "I fought with Dustil," I admitted, before looking away to glare at the far wall some more.

"(Mission)," Zaalbar said slowly. "(I hope our last days in hyperspace are not going to be filled with arguments)."

"Hey, that's not fair!" I flared, jumping off the workbench to jam my hands on my hips. "Dustil was being a complete laser brain about Jen! I wasn't gonna sit back and just listen to all of that!"

Zaalbar knew me, and he wasn't one to take offence even as I glared my most righteous glare in his direction. He stayed silent for a moment, as if thinking about the whole thing, while I tried my best not to pout.

"(Carth's cub does not know Jen as we do, Mission. When I first met Jen Sahara, in the sewers after you both rescued me, I will admit that she made me uneasy. There was something about her I did not trust)." He placed the side panel down gently onto the workbench, still calmly holding my gaze. "(And, unlike Dustil Onasi, I understood nothing of her past then)."

"You don't seem to understand much now," I mumbled, a bit sulkily, even if I knew I was being the teensiest bit rude. It was true, though. Big Z just didn't really get the whole galaxy and everything that went on outside of Kashyyyk – despite having lived on Taris for years.

And Dustil thinks I don't get it. Stupid nerf herder.

Zaalbar huffed. "(What I am saying is that you cannot expect others to have the same opinion as you, Mission. Dustil Onasi has not had the easiest time of things. Perhaps you need to grant him a little leniency)."

"Easiest time?" I muttered, scowling – but it did make me think of how I'd thrown my childhood in his face. Sure, Griff had let me down… but I'd had Gadon and the Beks. Big Z had always been my shield. Maybe Dustil had had a rosy enough time in his early years on Telos, but I couldn't kid myself that the Lower City of Taris were as bad as living in a Sith Academy.

They probably had to hurt each other… kill each other… do all sorts of horrid things just to survive. That tortured Jedi, Belaya, came to mind… and Dustil's role in her death. I shivered. At least on the streets of Taris things were simple. People were only after creds in one form or another.

Maybe Big Z was right. Maybe I'd been a lil unfair. But then, so had he!

"Okay." I sighed, folding my arms. "I'll track him down later and try to make up."

Later. When I wasn't feeling so steamed.

Big Z gave me a shaggy-haired nod, before bending over the armour again. "(I may be able to weld one side shut and move the inner clasps to the outside)," he rumbled. "(It is not ideal, but it will work. I would like you to wear it before we approach this Star Forge)."

I took a moment to appraise Big Z; large head bent over the freighter's workbench as the halogen lighting shone around him, picking up brownish highlights in his ragged coat. Zaalbar'd taken to tinkering with the Beks armour, too; at first, it was a way to stay out of company, for in the early days on Taris Big Z had been even more ill-at-ease around sents of any species. And then, fixing things had turned into something he'd a bit of a knack for.

The Beks came to appreciate it, even if they'd never extended full membership to Big Z or me. They woulda, eventually. Maybe when I'd turned, like, sixty years old or something.

Stupid Zaerdra woulda stuck me in a crèche if she could've got away with it.

"What're ya gonna do, Big Z? After all of this?" The question had been on my mind for a bit, 'cause I couldn't really see myself going back to Taris. I… wanted to know if some of my old friends survived, I wanted to hear about the planet and I hoped the bombardment hadn't been too devastating- but I didn't want to go back to my old life. I'd seen so much since then. The Hidden Beks would view me as the same girl who'd left so many, many months ago- and I wasn't, not really.

Maybe part of me felt like I could do more, or better, than living on the streets again.

"(I will go back to Kashyyyk)," Zaalbar said slowly, straightening up once more to look at me. No matter how often I interrupted his work, Big Z never got irritated. He was a gem, really – I knew that. "(My father will be looking for a new successor; he may have chosen one by the time I return. It is a big thing, the choosing and the rituals, but Freyyr will be keen to bury the past and plant the sapling of the future)."

I frowned. "Do you… do you regret it?" I asked, in a tiny voice.

He coulda stayed behind. Part of me thought he should've.

Big Z took the time to consider my question. It was one of the things I liked about my old friend. Total opposite of me; he chose his words carefully and ensured they were what he meant before they spilled outta his mouth.

"(I do not. I was never raised for chieftainship, Mission)." His furry face was creased in a frown of concentration. "(There may have been a moment in Rwookrrorro when I saw myself as the future leader I could be; a stronger, healthier bough than my brother; a pillar for my people… but my heart would not have been easy. I would not have been able to ignore my debts to Jen Sahara and Bastila Shan, and those debts would have made a mockery of my honour. I am content with my choice, Mission)."

I nodded. I didn't want to think on Bastila much. I'd never liked her, but I couldn't kid myself about what she must be going through. I looked away from my oldest friend, one hand fiddling with the utility belt strapped around my waist. "I don't mind visiting Kashyyyk for a bit, Big Z. But… there ain't no way I'm setting down roots there. It's not- it's not the place for me."

I grimaced, and felt my shoulders hunch. I loved Big Z, I'd known him for years, I couldn't imagine us two not being a pair an' having each other's back… but-

"(I would like to return home)," Zaalbar said quietly. "(My exile has been overturned. And my people know little of matters beyond Kashyyyk. I do not believe Czerka could have gained a foothold on my planet had we better understood the motives of off-worlders)." He paused, before adding sheepishly. "(I hope I can help with that knowledge, given my experience away from home)."

"You could." I snickered. "Maybe one day you'll end up being a hairy grey Old One, telling all the little hairballs about your adventures with me."

Zaalbar blinked at me, his black eyes like round little pebbles in the midst of a face of snarled fur. "(Old Ones are revered amongst my people, Mission. I do not know if I could live up to something like that)." He nudged me affectionately. For him it was gentle, but I still stumbled back a pace. "(But all Wookiees share their stories with the young. And you would feature in every one of my escapades, my friend. I feel I already have a lifetime of tales to tell, and I am still a young Wookiee)."

I grinned at him. "We still got some to go, Big Z. It ain't over yet."

I tried hard to hold onto the moment, and not let the fear ice in underneath. After all my complaining to Jen, I wasn't gonna let anyone see I was scared of Darth Poodoo and his stupid factory.

"(If you will not stay on Kashyyyk with me, Mission, then where shall you go? Shall you return to Taris?)"

"No," I said, frowning. "I dunno, Big Z. But it won't be Taris. I guess we don't need to decide straight away, right? I mean, first we gotta get rid of Malak – and then, like, have the galaxy's biggest party to celebrate."

Zaalbar chuffed. "(Your ebullience has always warmed my heart, Mission. You are a rare soul. If we part ways I shall miss you sorely)."

I snorted before leaning against him. His fur was warm and slightly musky- sheesh, when's the last time he stepped in the 'fresher? I had to pick my battles with Big Z, there was only so much nagging that worked on the uncivilized throw-rug.

"Y'know," I began, resting the side of my face against his waist. "Just 'cause you're gonna go commune with your trees, don't mean I won't be visiting. Heaps. You can't get rid of me that easily, Big Z."

He rumbled in amusement, lifting one shaggy paw to rest around me gently.

xXx

Big Z didn't normally have much to say, but when he did – unless it was some trash about me staying behind – it was usually worth listening to.

So I'd been wandering aimlessly through the ship for hours, trying to track down Dustil.

The Ebon Hawk wasn't that big. Dustil Onasi might have some special magical hiding power, but it shouldn't be this freaking hard to pin him down.

I scowled, and stomped into the common room.

"…asteroids everywhere, but only one planet," Jen was saying, leaning over the table next to Canderous. Teethree was projecting that fancy Star Map again, although it looked totally different this time. Objects were bigger, and there were way less of them. It wasn't a map of a galaxy anymore. "It would be a logical place for a base or supply depot."

Canderous, too, was staring intently at the holo-map. Behind them both was Carth, his gaze fixed on the back of Jen's head.

I hoped he could get over things. Jen and Carth. It still surprised me. I'd thought Jen and Canderous made sense, what with them both being warriors and all that stupid sparring… but there was something about Jen and Carth that worked, too. Maybe Jen needed someone who would remind her of the right thing to do, and Canderous wasn't always so good at that.

Canderous raised a hand to swivel the translucent map around in the air. I spotted the Forge, then; a large object in the middle of the projection. The Star Map was just showing one sector, I realized – they'd zoomed right in on our destination.

"I dunno, Revan," Canderous said. "The Forge is a sizable structure in itself. It can probably work as its own supply run. And don't forget how remote and distant this sector is. There's no point in fortifying – and then defending – other parts of a system unless you mean to inhabit or exploit them."

Jen hummed; it sounded like agreement. "We're on the edge of the galaxy here." Her eyes met Canderous' through the map. "Malak's spent the last year attacking the Republic; parts of his fleet will be dotted around the current flashpoints-" She frowned, suddenly, and shot an enquiring look at the wall next to me.

My gaze slid sideways; I jumped as I focused on the still figure of Yudan Rosh, leaning silently against a bulkhead not more than two metres from me.

"I have been on a personal mission for the last month, Revan; my knowledge is hardly up to date," the Dark Jedi drawled. He shrugged. "The Rodian corridor was under siege when I left. Ando, Manda, Bothawui… it is an important trade route into the Core, and a difficult one to defend. It's switched hands more than once already."

"Huh." Jen looked vaguely disgruntled as she turned her attention back to the map. I took several steps away from the motionless Dark Jedi, and slid into a seat while keeping half an eye on him. I didn't care if Jen was at ease around the guy, I still didn't like him. I could feel my lekku curl around my neck defensively.

"This sector is days into the Unknown Regions," Jen murmured. "I can't think that Malak would hold back too large a slice of his armada this far out. And other than our brief stop at Yavin, we've come here directly. The defences of the Star Forge won't be primarily enemy ships."

"It is his stronghold, Revan," Yudan said flatly. His voice was still a monotone, like he didn't care about anything, even when he was disagreeing with Jen. I wish she'd kicked his ass to the curb back at Yavin. "Malak would be a fool if he left it unguarded. And Malak is many things, but he is not a fool."

"No, not unguarded," Jen mused, her green eyes clouding with thoughts. "But not at his full strength either. It will take time for him to pull his forces back to the Forge now he knows the Republic are on their way. The quicker they can get there, the better their chances." She grimaced, one hand rubbing at her face. "As long as they don't get there before us."

My gaze flew to Carth; he'd tensed at that comment, his eyes narrowing as they burned into the back of Jen's head. She shifted uneasily, but didn't turn. "This unknown planet," Jen murmured, leaning closer to lift a hand through the shimmering sphere and rotate it much the same as Canderous had. "I feel like there's something I should know. See, here – the map plots out the solar trajectory of both the planet and the Forge. The Forge orbits the planet, but in heliosynchronous fashion; it always has line of sight to the sole star in the system. There'll be a reason for that."

"Power source," Yudan said flatly.

"Probably." Jen was nodding. "But there's something about the planet itself…" She frowned, rubbing at her temple. "There's this twitching in the back of my mind, like if I could just find the right word or thought I'd recall something- if I could just force my damn mind to remember-"

"Don't," Carth said. His voice was abrupt and loud. Jen jumped, before turning to meet his gaze. He looked- torn. There was no other word for it. "It's a bad idea, Je- Revan. It's- it's a terrible idea! Forcing your old memories… just don't."

I couldn't see Jen's face anymore with the way she'd craned around, but I saw her shoulders tense before she slowly nodded. "It doesn't work anyway," Jen whispered, so quiet I had to strain to hear. "Every memory that's resurfaced has been unexpected. Sometimes things trigger them… but never from a deliberate action of mine. It's like my mind doesn't want to remember anything… and I don't either, Carth, I truly don't." There was a soft sigh that echoed around the room before she continued in that same, deathly quiet voice. "But I don't want any of you to die, either."

"It's not worth losing your soul over," Carth replied, and part of me thought the two of them had completely forgotten there was anyone else in the room with the way Carth was still staring at her. "It's not worth becoming what you once were again."

A shadow passed his face, then; and his gaze moved over the rest of us. His lips thinned; he suddenly looked grim and old and, without another word, he turned and left for the cockpit.

"You know," Canderous said, swinging his boots up to rest atop the table. One of them merged through a larger asteroid in the holo-map, and Teethree squawked in complaint. "You Republic lot make things a lot more kriffing complicated then they need to be."

"Republic?" Jen said in a dry voice, turning back around to raise an eyebrow at him. "Not sure that's the best label for me, Canderous."

"But it's the side you're on, Jen," I said, shuffling along the bench to nudge her affectionately. Sometimes, I thought it might do her good to remember that some of us were with her, no matter what.

Canderous snorted. "Well, Jedi don't fit you, and neither does Sith. You'd make a damn fine Mando'ade, you know."

Jen stilled, staring at the older warrior in silence for a moment, before tilting her head in recognition of the compliment. Even I got that that was high praise from him.

I was looking up at Jen, so saw the speculative grin as it formed on her face. She was aiming it at Canderous. "Yudan made you believe he was Mandalorian for some time, too, Canderous. And I don't get the feeling you're easily tricked about such matters."

My gaze shot back to the far wall; but at some stage the Twi'leki Dark Jedi had left the room.

Canderous grunted, but didn't answer. I frowned. "Jen, are you sure about him?" I asked, keeping my voice quiet in case the marsh toad was, like, doing some super-secret listening in or something. I didn't think they could do that sort of thing – but then I'd never expected one of them to turn invisible like Dustil, either. "I mean, he's still a Dark Jedi, y'know. More than you, more than Dustil… I don't wanna deny someone a second chance, but I'd rather he had his somewhere far, far away from us."

Jen had turned to face me, sighing. "Truly? No. I'm not sure about him." She quirked an eyebrow at Canderous, as if asking his opinion.

The Mandalorian shrugged. "He saved my life, but I don't count that as any sort of debt. He only did it to get my approval for him to board this ship. Yudan Rosh followed you once before, Revan; and then he followed Malak. I ain't sure what his end-game is, but I know one thing – he doesn't give a kriff about anyone on this ship other than you. And whether it's to kill you or fight by your side once more, I couldn't tell you."

"Yeah," Jen breathed. "That's more or less what I think. He vowed to ally with me, but then he almost killed…" she trailed off, frowning into space.

"Well, I still wish we'd dumped him back on Yavin station," I said, somewhat tartly.

Jen shot me a half-smile, but I could see her thoughts were elsewhere. "I'll keep an eye on him," she said quietly.

"And I'll keep away from him," I muttered. Suddenly, I was sick of talking about Yudan Rosh. It was more boring than all that waffle about orbits. "Look, Jen, I actually came here 'cause I'm trying to find Dustil." I scowled. "He's hiding from me because we had a stupid fight, and it's not fair that he can go all invisible like that. Is there- is there some way you can tell where he is? Or, I dunno, do something to stop him?"

Jen blinked, looking visibly startled.

Canderous snorted again. "Kids," he muttered, shooting me a derisive look. I stuck my tongue out at him.

Jen laughed. "Sometimes, it's nice to be reminded that not everything is a life or death matter around here." She closed her eyes briefly. A peaceful look crossed her face, before she smiled and raised a hand to point to the stern of the ship. "Dustil's in the engine room, Mission."

"Thanks," I said, before slipping back to my feet. If Jen could find Dustil so easily, then there was no way he'd be able to keep hiding from me anymore.

xXx

I pulled my bio-scanner out from my belt, and pressed against the hatch control.

"Hah!" I crowed to the empty engine room as I took a step inside. I brandished the 'scanner in mock-triumph. "I knew I could tweak this thing to sense you, Dustil!"

"What?" Dustil snapped, and an instant later he was right there, standing in front of me, eyes blinking in shock. "Really? That thing- that thing can find me?"

"Nah," I said, slipping the 'scanner away. I shrugged. "Jen told me where you were. It's not fair, y'know, that you can go all invisible just 'cause we had a lil argument."

His jaw snapped shut with a click, and a frown creased his forehead. He stepped back, looking awkward. "I- uh, Mission, look-" he paused, like he didn't know what to say, and ran a hand roughly through his brown hair.

"I reckon we both said things we didn't mean to," I said slowly. Somehow, I had the feeling Dustil was crap at making up and I'd have to do all the legwork. "And I reckon Jen might jus' be one of those topics we have to agree to disagree on, y'know?"

"You don't understand," Dustil muttered, breathing out loudly in frustration. "You really don't understand. As a kid, I used to hero-worship the lot of them, okay? Frakk, I even had a holo-poster tacked up in my bedroom of the Jedi Thirteen. I'd read the 'Net news, follow the Mando Wars, look up the latest battles- frakk, Mission, they used to be my heroes!"

I blinked. "A holo-poster? What, really?"

A gust of air escaped his lips; almost a chuckle. "Yeah. The Jedi Order kept trying to shut all the merchandise down, but different ones kept cropping up. It all seems stupid, now. My idol was Talvon Esan- he was from Telos, you know? But I knew all their names. Could rattle them off by heart; their backgrounds, the battles they led, their species and gender… Well, except Revan, she was always masked. But…" Dustil sighed. His gaze turned bleak. "The Wars ended. And then they came back. Telos happened. I met Nisotsa Organa at Korriban- she was one of the Thirteen, once. But she wasn't a hero anymore."

His gaze held mine, wary and intent. "I heard stories, at Korriban," he said softly. "Of all of them. Talvon was killed by Revan, you know? Although I heard he'd gone stark raving mad first. The rest all turned on each other. My childhood heroes, turning on each other, turning on the Republic. And then there's Malak…" His eyes shut, and he shook his head briefly. "Bandon almost took me, last time he visited the Academy. If things had turned out just the smallest bit different, I'd be loyal to Darth Malak right now, killing people in his name. People like you. People like Dad."

My breath caught in my throat. "But- but you're not," I whispered. I wanted to reach out, hold his hand, maybe; but I worried it might break the spell between us. "You got a chance to turn everything around, Dee. And so does Jen."

His eyes snapped open. His gaze had firmed, intense and dark, as it bored into mine. "I've been the cause of unnecessary death before, Mission, and those deaths hang over me. Four. Four sents total. Do you have any idea how many deaths Revan is responsible for?"

"Lots," I said simply. "But she's always been there for me. She laid her life on the line against a rancor of all things, for no reason other than to save Big Z and me when she barely knew us. She rescued my brother, when he was captured- and he's a jerk that probably didn't deserve it. These sleemo Gamorreans on Tatooine woulda killed me if not for her. And- and- in the Shadowlands… you know I ran into that Bandon fella, right?"

There was the slightest twitch to his head, and I took that as a yes before continuing. "He had her captured. Restraints, this Force collar… she'd given up. Completely. I could see it on her face, even if I was totally freaked out at the time. And then, when she realized I was there and Bandon was about to- to-" I snorted, not wanting to finish that sentence. "-to be a complete ronto turd, she somehow escaped and killed the bastard. Because I was there."

We stared at each other in creeping silence. The frustration was still obvious on Dustil's face; and heck, it wasn't like I needed him to like Jen or anything, but if he could just see the sort of person she was now-

I breathed out through my nose before continuing, in a quieter voice. "I know you reckon I don't understand – and maybe I don't, the way you do – but what I do understand is that she's the only one who can sort all this crap out. And yeah- Jen scares me too. But she's also my friend. And I love her, y'know? Scary Force powers an' all."

There was the slightest softening in his face, the disappearance of sharp lines around his mouth. Dustil didn't smile much; it was like he never let his guard down, never let himself just relax. And I could get that – what with his past an' all – and I knew it all came back to Jen in one way or another… but I also kinda thought that everyone in the 'verse would be quick to lay the blame on Jen – herself included.

I wasn't gonna. She was my friend. I wouldn't see her as anything beyond that.

"Maybe she's the only one who can stop Malak, but I wish you'd stay away from her," he said quietly. "You don't have any defences around her… and she's dangerous. A lot more dangerous than you seem to realize."

I rolled my eyes at that. "Okay, now you're insulting my smarts. Wouldn't matter if I had freaky Force powers like you, Dee – Jen just blasts anyone in her way no matter how strong they are. But she trusts me. And I trust her." I frowned. "Although if she tries to leave me behind again I'm gonna stick fire-spice in her caffa."

That loosed a surprised laugh from Dustil. His eyes widened, like he'd never heard anyone crack a joke before. I guess no one would've dared, not about Jen. The thought made me sad.

"I'm serious, y'know," I muttered. "I'm not above getting my own back if people try to make decisions for me – Jen included."

There was a slight look of awe around Dustil's face as he stared at me. He probably couldn't conceive of pranking someone like Jen, no matter if they deserved it. Maybe he'd never get over Jen's past – and I couldn't blame him, not really – but it'd be nice if he came round to seeing her as just another person rather than the scary Darth Revan she used to be.

I didn't expect it would happen anytime soon. But I knew it would never happen if he kept hiding away.

"Come on," I said, motioning to the hatch. "Stop hiding and come play another game of pazaak."

"I was not hiding," he mumbled, folding his arms and scowling at me half-heartedly.

"Okay, well stop not-hiding and come play pazaak." I reached my hand out to him in invitation. "Bet you can't win even one of five games."

Dustil stared at my outraised hand for a sec, the corners of his mouth curving upwards, before he reached forward to slip his larger one into mine.

"We'll see about that," he replied, before following me out of the room.

xXx

Author's Note:

Back to the shorter chapters! Hopefully that means more frequent updates :-) Thanks for all the reviews, guys, you make my day.

Coming up next [proviso: subject to change]: Revan sticks her nose in, Jolee tells a tale, and the crew finally exit hyperspace.

Thanks as always to kosiah for the read-through. Any and all errors left behind are mine!