I feel like he can see me. His eyes are so intense. I know it's just the sheen of mako, but it's unnerving. If he could see me, if he knew I was watching this happen to him, would he hate me? It's not as if I can do anything about it. I know this, but does he? I can't stand the thought of him hating me.
Hojo and Hyde are having one of their evening chats again. They sit in their cushy wingback chairs and brainstorm how they can force a grown man to submit to all of their tests and trials without question. They sip from the little crystal glasses in their hands and debate how to make a teenager feel terrified enough to show them something extraordinary. They puff on their overpriced cigars and scheme how to destroy a friendship.
"I don't know why you insist on keeping up this charade of treating them like patients," Hojo says, crossing one leg over the other.
"It worked for Sephiroth," Hyde reminds him. "Genesis and Angeal, too."
"They were trained to accept it as children," Hojo says dismissively, waving the hand holding the cigar. A trail of smoke follows his motions. "These two seem to think that they have some kind of rights in here. It's absurd."
Dr. Hyde lazily swirls around the dark liquid in his glass. "I still think it's best to let them believe they're willing participants. It's so much easier if they go along with everything."
Professor Hojo leans forward in his chair, his eyes piercing Hyde. "Is it really, Klaus? Or are you developing a soft spot for these boys?"
"Of course not," Dr. Hyde scoffs, but I think Hojo may be right. Now that I've been able to watch them, I can see why. Zack is irresistibly friendly and engaging. Cloud is quiet and thoughtful, intriguing in his own way.
Hojo raises one thin brow. "If we break them, they'll be just as compliant. It worked for the rest of the residents."
"Perhaps," Hyde says, "but only because their will was so weak. Besides, I doubt you will see the reaction you're hoping for from the boy if his spirit is broken."
Hojo ponders that for a moment. "Fine. We'll try it your way for now, but if it doesn't work, I will take control over these decisions myself." He takes a leisurely puff on his cigar. "Speaking of the boy, his performance on Friday was rather dismal. Fearing for his life doesn't seem to trigger the reaction as you posited."
Dr. Hyde shrugs, unconcerned. "Maybe you didn't trigger the right fear. Being immobilized seems to be especially trying for him. As long as he can move, he still has some control over the situation."
Professor Hojo taps his fingers on the arm of his chair. "Yes, we can try that next. But first, I need to measure his true ability against Zack. Why do they refuse to fight each other?"
Dr. Hyde laughs out loud. "They're friends, Horace. Is there no one you wouldn't attack to prove your superiority?"
Hojo frowns, as if confused. "Of course not. Why should I allow anyone to best me?"
"Yes, I thought you might see it that way," Dr. Hyde says, shaking his head. He drains his glass and sets it down on the table between them. He tents his fingers in front of him, resembling the evil scientist usually played by Hojo. "So I planted the first seed of distrust between them. Some kind of chemical interference may be required to give the final push, but it's important that their anger be directed toward each other, or we may well find ourselves as the target of their combined rage."
A smirk slides across Professor Hojo's face. "What exactly was this first seed, Klaus?"
Dr. Hyde shrugs and reclines in his chair, looking supremely pleased with himself. "I merely suggested that Zack might feel guilty for leaving the boy in the octo-room if he knew the extent of his injuries and how much time he'd spent in the mako tank." He chuckled, a deceptively gentle sound. "The boy actually begged me not to tell Zack. I'm quite certain that Zack will see through him and come to the wrong conclusion."
Hojo doesn't look all that impressed. "Really. That's it?"
"That's only the beginning. They may need some more encouragement, but eventually their relationship will self-destruct. Then you will be able to see the full extent of their abilities."
Professor Hojo appears to reconsider. "Alright. I have something to look forward to, then."
Chapter 3: Anger and Regret
Cloud couldn't figure out what he had done to upset Zack. He had been acting cold ever since Cloud had come back on Sunday evening. He wasn't exactly being mean, just distant. If Cloud asked him something, he responded with a short answer and then went back to whatever he was doing on his phone. He didn't initiate a single conversation the entire day. If it had been someone else, it might have been normal behavior. But for Zack to sit and do something quietly when there was someone to talk to, especially Cloud? No. Something was definitely wrong.
They had both started on their infusions that morning. Cloud felt a stirring of irritation as he watched Zack clicking away on his phone. He had already filled him in on their lack of connectivity in the building, so he knew he wasn't talking to anyone. Cloud's phone had apparently been smashed during his fight with Sephiroth, so he didn't even have anything to do to pass the time.
"Hey, you want to watch something?" he asked Zack hopefully.
Zack's eyes flickered up from his phone for just a moment before being drawn back down. "Not really."
"Well can you at least give me the remote so I can watch something?" he asked irritably.
Zack sighed like he was being forced to abandon a very important task. He reached over to the nightstand and picked up the remote, and then flung it at Cloud. Cloud reacted just in time to prevent it from smashing his nose. "Dude! What the hell?"
Zack's eyes slowly moved up to Cloud's. "Something wrong?" he asked innocently. "You wanted the remote, didn't you?"
"Yeah, but I didn't want it embedded in my face!" he snarled.
Zack shrugged and went back to his phone. "Sorry. I'm not used to dealing with people with such slow reactions."
Cloud's eyes narrowed as he looked at his friend. He actually had pretty good reactions, but they were still unenhanced human speed reactions, which Zack knew perfectly well. Besides, Zack may have spent a lot of time with some of the other SOLDIERS in training, but virtually all of their mutual free time was spent together. Cloud's reaction time had never been an issue. He bored a hole into his friend's head with his eyes, but Zack never looked up. Eventually, Cloud sighed and turned on the TV.
Things only got worse as the week went on. Zack's little jabs became even less subtle, and Cloud was snapping at him almost constantly. An endless current of anger burned inside of him, flaring up anytime he heard Zack's voice.
"Dude, did you use the last of the shampoo?" Zack demanded, storming out of the bathroom, still wet from the shower. Drooping black hair clung to the sides of his face, and rivulets of water ran down sharply delineated muscle.
Cloud was sprawled out on his stomach on the bed, reading a magazine. He looked up at Zack's outburst. "I guess. All we got is that tiny little bottle."
Zack scoffed loudly. "Thanks a lot. You could've at least told one of the orderlies so we could get some more."
The current of irritation flared up in him again. "Jeez, I'm sorry. I forgot about it." He looked back down at the magazine. Zack stomped back to the bathroom only to return a minute later. Cloud ignored him, keeping his eyes glued to the magazine until a sharp pain in his head made him jerk back up. He sat up, holding a hand to his head. Zack had hurled the empty shampoo bottle at him.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Cloud demanded.
"Are you stupid?" Zack retorted. "I just told you what was wrong with me!"
"What do you want me to do about it, Zack?" Cloud exploded. "I'll ask them for more next time they come in, but I really can't help you right now."
"Gah!" Zack made a sound of frustration and stormed back into the bathroom, slamming the door shut.
The next day, Cloud got out of the shower to find that there were no towels in the bathroom. Zack must have hidden them somewhere. What a stupid, childish thing to do. Zack wasn't even in the room at the moment, so Cloud had no idea where he'd put them.
His wet footsteps left a trail straight to Zack's bed. Zack's sheets would have to be his towel, then.
Blip-blip.
The brunette with the Tifa-like plait looked startled to see him, dripping wet on Zack's bed. Cloud hurriedly pulled the blanket over his lap. Her face went bright pink. "I—I'm sorry. I just need some blood from you," she said, holding up the tray of tubes.
Cloud nodded his assent and she came carefully closer. Looking at her face was better than the back of her head. Her face looked nothing like his Tifa. As she prepared the needle and his arm, her eyes kept being drawn to the vivid red scar on his chest. He really wasn't vain – not at all like Zack – but he couldn't stand that scar. It was a constant reminder of the most terrifying night of his life. It was the night he had failed Tifa.
The lab tech finished filling all of her little tubes and gave Cloud a tiny smile. "Thanks," she said quietly before letting herself out of the room. Cloud watched her go, and then he picked up Zack's pillow to dry his hair.
From there, it escalated to accusations. "Cloud, give me back my phone."
Cloud paused his movie and looked over at his roommate. "What? I don't have your phone."
"It was sitting right here when I got in the shower, and now it's gone. I know you took it, so just give it back and I'll drop it."
Cloud sat up, frowning indignantly. "I left to take a tread test. Maybe one of the orderlies took it."
"Right." Zack lowered his brows, something close to a scowl on his face. "Because the orderlies want my phone."
Cloud threw up his hands. "Look, I don't know! Maybe you took it in the bathroom with you. Maybe it fell on the floor. Maybe you should try to figure something out for yourself for once, and stop expecting me to solve all your fucking problems for you!"
He knew he was crossing a line. One of the reasons the two of them fit so well together was because they complemented each other's weaknesses. Zack was the strong one and Cloud was the smart one. It was an unspoken understanding that they wouldn't rub the other's nose in it, and Cloud immediately regretted his words, but it was too late to take them back.
Zack glowered and Cloud unpaused the movie, pretending to be oblivious. Even as angry as he was, the guilt dogged him for the rest of the evening.
He never did learn where Zack found his phone, just that he had it back the next day and the remote no longer worked. When they were stuck in their beds for the infusions for 12 hours a day, with Zack refusing to speak to him, the television was his only way to pass the time.
Cloud tapped the remote against his palm a couple times and pressed several buttons, but there was no response from the TV. He flipped over the remote and opened the battery compartment. The batteries were missing. "Zack," Cloud sighed, trying to keep his tone civil. "Come on. Do you really think you could make me believe that I misplaced the batteries?"
"Don't look at me," Zack said acidly. "You're the one who solves all the problems."
Every time they were in the room together, when they weren't actively arguing, an angry silence hung over the atmosphere. Dr. Hyde seemed to be amused by their constant bickering. On Friday afternoon, after one of the lab techs had removed both of their IVs, he mentioned that they would be testing in the octo-room again.
They both sat up and glanced at each other. "Testing…together?" Cloud asked cautiously.
"Yes," Hyde confirmed. "Now that you've had a week of the infusions, we should be seeing some improvement in your performance."
"Right…but Zack's had another week of infusions, too," Cloud said hesitantly.
"Indeed," Hyde said. "But his improvements will be less pronounced because he's already at a significantly higher level."
Cloud looked nervously at his roommate. Although they'd spent the week frustrated and irritated with each other, he'd never actually been afraid of Zack. His best friend would never hurt him. Right?
Zack scowled and flexed his fingers. "All right, let's do this."
The two of them stood and followed the orderlies down to the reflective metal room. Cloud stole glances at Zack, wondering if it would be more than a friendly spar this time. Cloud planned to give it his all, but surely Zack realized that it still wasn't a fair fight. He would hold back his full strength, if not his speed.
He had few advantages over Zack – experience being the main one – but Zack was stronger and faster, his senses sharper and reactions quicker. Even assuming Zack was holding back, Cloud would have to fight smarter to have any chance of winning.
The sleek metal doors slid open and granted them entrance. They walked to the center of the room. Zack waited for some kind of signal for the fight to begin; Cloud didn't. He barreled into Zack's midsection with his shoulder, catching the SOLDIER by surprise. Zack stumbled backwards and hit the floor hard, but he recovered quickly. He grabbed Cloud's arm and heaved, tossing him a good ten feet away. It was an artless move, doing very little to hurt Cloud, but it gave Zack time to get up.
"That was cheap," Zack said, cracking his neck.
Cloud sprang back to his feet and laughed bitterly as he warily circled his opponent. "This isn't a game, Zack. There are no rules to this kind of fight. You take whatever advantage you can use."
Zack laughed through his nose. "Good to know," he said, and then charged.
Cloud moved as fast as he could, but it wasn't nearly fast enough. The fist buried in his gut sent him flying through the air, and he landed on the metallic floor hard enough to jar his teeth. With the pain spreading outward from his stomach, he barely even noticed. He coughed, trying to catch his breath as Zack stalked him like a predator.
Cloud scrambled back to his feet, one arm wrapped protectively around his stomach, the other hand back up by his face. Zack was still telegraphing, and this time Cloud had just enough warning to block his punch with his forearm, but that was only marginally better. He could swear he heard the bone snap before he was knocked on his ass and slid across the floor.
He didn't jump up right away this time. His breathing was harsh and uneven, jagged with the pain shooting through him. Cloud cradled his broken arm close to his body, in front of his stomach. If Zack had tried to take advantage of his injuries, Cloud would have been done for, but Zack wasn't a dirty fighter. The SOLDIER casually walked closer, a smug look on his face.
Cloud pushed himself into a sitting position. He coughed again, harder this time, and spit out the gunk that came up, wincing at the bright red blood that spattered the floor. Zack leaned over him, leering. "Come on, buddy, I know you've got more than that in you."
Cloud stared back, unflinching. There was a green ring glowing around the outside of Zack's dark blue iris. He'd never seen anything like that during their training sessions; it was lit with unfettered fury. Cloud felt it, too. Rage tingled up the back of his head, demanding action. He whipped his leg around, knocking Zack's feet out from under him.
Zack landed hard on his back, giving Cloud an extra few seconds to get to his feet and kick Zack in the gut. Again, Zack was unprepared for Cloud's flagrant disregard for the rules of a fair fight, even less so for the extra strength he had been granted from his first set of infusions. Snarling, Zack grabbed the cadet's ankle and jerked, hurling him against the wall as if he were no more significant than a rag doll. Cloud slammed into the hard metal side of the arena, taking most of the impact with his head and shoulder. The world spun as he crashed in a sloppy pile on the floor.
Zack stood and approached stealthily, but Cloud barely even noticed. He raised his head slightly from the floor and blinked at all four Zacks, trying to make the room stop moving. "Come on. Get up!" the Zacks said, nudging him with their feet.
"Zack. Wait," Cloud pleaded, trying to sit up. It was hard to do when up was down, and left and right switched places every second. The motion nearly made him vomit.
"Wait?" Zack asked mockingly. "I thought there were no rules in this kind of fight. You take whatever advantage you can get, right?"
Cloud just shook his head, or at least he thought that's what his head was doing. Hell, he never had a chance in this fight. Zack leaned over and grabbed him by the front of his scrub shirt and picked him up, pressing his back against the wall. He had his opponent more or less in a standing position, which was apparently enough to satisfy Zack's sense of honor, although Cloud was swaying on his feet and making no move to protect himself. That seemed to make Zack even angrier, as if the cadet were intentionally leaving himself open to taunt him. He balled up his fist and punched Cloud in the face, feeling cartilage collapsing underneath his hand.
Cloud crumpled like a sack of flour. Zack lost himself completely to the rage, following him down and punching him, again and again. He ignored the blood splattering and the crunching he felt beneath his fist. He ignored the fact that Cloud wasn't moving. He ignored Hojo's voice over the speaker, laced with good humor, telling him it was enough. But he couldn't ignore the dart that lodged in his side. As his punches grew weaker and weaker, the fog of rage cleared. He looked down in horror at the mess he had made of his best friend. He only had a moment for the regret to grip him before he slumped down on top of Cloud.
When he awoke in his bed with a splitting headache, there was plenty of time for regret. Memories of the fight assaulted him. At the time, Zack had been blinded by rage. The images coming in through his eyes didn't really register in his mind. But now he replayed the whole scene over again, in gloriously crisp detail. What was wrong with him? How could he have done that?
Blip-blip.
Jax pushed through the door with his rolling food tray. "Hey Zack!"
"Hey Jax," Zack said dully. He stared blankly at the ceiling above his bed.
Jax looked at him with concern. "Are you feeling alright today?"
Zack ignored the question. It really didn't matter how he felt. "Please tell me he's ok," he said instead, rolling his head toward the orderly.
Jax came closer, pushing the tray ahead of him. "The blond kid?" he asked tentatively.
"Yeah," Zack sighed, sitting up. "I didn't…I mean, he's still…?" He couldn't even finish the question. He couldn't put it into words.
The orderly considered him, trying to decide how to phrase it. "Right now he's…well, you know what? He'll be ok," he said. "H&H wouldn't let you kill him."
Jax had probably meant it to be reassuring, but his words hit Zack like a train. How was it possible that Hojo and Hyde needed to save Cloud from him?
"Fuck," he whispered, his face crumpling. "I didn't mean to…I just…FUCK!" The last word came out in a yell as he slammed his fist into the mattress. "What is wrong with me?" He dropped his head forward and dug his hands into his hair.
Jax sat down on the bed next to him and put his head in front of Zack's, trying to catch his eye. "If it makes you feel any better, I don't think it was all you," he said softly, pushing back that one long strand that always fell in Zack's face.
"What do you mean?" Zack asked warily, lifting his head.
Jax glanced in the direction of the camera and then stood abruptly. "Well, here's your dinner," he said, switching to a cheerful tone. "I'll come back to get your dishes a little later." He left the tray where it was in the middle of the room and swept back out through the door, giving Zack only a moment to register the strange blue glove he wore on one hand.
Bringing his hands up to rub his temples, Zack stared at the camera in the corner. Was someone watching him right now, or were they just recording it? He wouldn't be surprised if they had him under constant supervision after he'd lost his mind in the octo-room yesterday. Cloud had forgiven him once for losing control, but that was different. There was forgiveness, and then there was trust. What if Cloud never trusted him again? Zack wasn't sure he would, if their positions had been reversed.
His vision blurred as he stared at the unidentified food substance on his tray. The very idea of food made him nauseous. In his mind, he relived the fight, over and over on a loop: the way Cloud's face seemed to collapse under his fists; the heat of his blood everywhere – on Zack's hands, splattering on his own face, flowing down to puddle at his knees; the way Cloud's jaw hung loosely in an angle that was just wrong.
Zack curled into himself and rolled onto his side. He didn't think he'd ever hated himself as much as he did in that moment.
Dr. Hyde came in the next morning, wearing the same strange blue glove as Jax had the day before. The glove felt a little strange when he touched Zack's skin, but didn't seem to have any other effect.
The doctor recorded his vital signs while Zack sat there listlessly. He began packing the tools back in his little black bag. "Where's Cloud?" he asked suddenly. Zack didn't really think Hyde would be more honest or forthcoming than Jax, but he also wouldn't try to sugarcoat it, and he needed to know how bad it really was.
Hyde looked up, a hint of a smile quirking one side of his face. "Don't you know?" Zack just scowled. "Well, let's just say I don't think he'll be joining us for a while."
"What does that mean?" Zack demanded. "Will he be ok?"
"On second thought," Hyde mused, ignoring his question, "perhaps it will be sooner than expected. Dr. Hojo wasn't impressed." He looked at Zack over his tiny spectacles. "Just enjoy your day off. Another week of testing starts tomorrow."
Zack grunted in frustration as Hyde let himself out the door. "Prick," he muttered. He flopped back on the bed and rolled his head to the side, looking at Cloud's bed. They had been roommates once before. The night of the disastrous graduation ceremony, the night of the Honeybee Inn, he had led an extremely drunk Cloud back to his apartment.
"Tap…tap…hey Zack, I think your walls are hollow!" Cloud announced loudly as they walked down the apartment hallway in the middle of the night.
"Shh! Cloud, be quiet! It's late!"
"Oh!" The look on Cloud's face was comical, and although he probably thought he had lowered his voice to an appropriate level, it wasn't much quieter. "That's right, SOLDIERs are sleeeeeeping. Hey, don't they have super good hearing anyway? I bet they—whoa!"
SOLDIERs did have exceptional hearing, including Zack, which is why he had abruptly shoved Cloud into a broom closet. "Hey Sephiroth! What are you doing up so late?" he said, leaning against the closet door.
Sephiroth did not look amused. "Zack, are you drunk again?"
"Uh, yep, yes I am," he said with a grin. "Sir," he tacked on belatedly.
A clattering crash sounded behind the door. Zack winced. "And you brought home a drunk girl, too, I see," Sephiroth said dryly.
"No, no, not at all!" Zack protested. "I don't do that anymore." It was true. He felt like a different person since the first time he saw Aerith's sweet smile. He would probably always be a charmer, but he really wasn't interested in accumulating notches on his bed post anymore.
Another crash sounded, along with maniacal giggling. Sephiroth crossed his arms over his chest, which was pretty damn intimidating, even in nothing but pajama pants. "You're going to tell me she's not drunk?"
"Um…that's not exactly what I meant."
The door pushed open an inch before Zack slammed it closed again. "Zack!" Cloud hissed loudly. "I'm stuck in here!"
Sephiroth's eyebrows shot to his hairline. "Not a she. I see."
"No, that's not—"
Sephiroth sighed and threw up his arms. "None of my business. Just keep him quiet, Zack."
"But I—"
Sephiroth was already almost back to his apartment when Zack realized that he was no longer holding the door shut. Cloud fell out of the closet into the hall. "Dude! Was that Sephiroth?" He started crawling down the hall on his hands and knees, catching a glimpse of impossibly long gray hair before the door slammed shut. "Oh my gods! Zack! You have to introduce me! He's my—"
Zack grabbed Cloud by the back of his shirt and cast sleep. If he wasn't in trouble already, having a drunken Cloud banging down Sephiroth's door in the middle of the night would definitely do it. Cloud's arms and legs went slack and he slumped down to the ground. Zack sighed and threw him over his shoulder. The drool down his back was worth it for the silence.
He juggled Cloud's weight to the side while he dug in his pocket. The kid really had put on quite a few pounds of muscle since they'd been training together. Pulling out his key, Zack jabbed several times at the tiny keyhole before managing to hit his target. He leaned against the door and turned the knob, taken completely by surprise when he fell through the doorway and Cloud tumbled onto the carpeted floor. "Ooh. Sorry 'bout that, man," he said, wincing. "Eh, you're fine. It's a soft landing. You cool with the couch?" There was no response from his sleeping friend – not that Zack had expected one. "Alrighty then," he said, patting Cloud's leg sloppily.
Zack used the coffee table to get himself back on his feet, then flicked on the light and closed the front door. He tossed his keys in the general direction of the ceramic bowl by the door. "Ok, come here little buddy," he said, bending down and sliding his arms under Cloud's back and knees. He carried him the few steps to the couch and laid him down gently. Then he stood and looked down at his friend with his hands propped on his hips. "Let's see...I bet you want a pillow, huh? And a blanket. Yeah, I think I've got some of those." Zack clumsily stumbled off to retrieve the bedding.
Once Cloud was situated with the pillow under his head, blankets tucked around him like a child, Zack smoothed the hair away from his face. "Sleep tight, kiddo," he said with a fond smile.
The next morning came far too soon for Zack. He smacked at the alarm and forced himself to sit up. His head pounded, but it was manageable. The mako in his blood burned through the access alcohol fairly quickly, which was why he never gave much thought to getting drunk on work nights. He slogged out of bed and into the bathroom. Before doing anything else, he dug in the medicine cabinet for something to quiet the jackhammer in his head. He popped a couple capsules in his mouth and stuck his head under the faucet to wash them down. The mirror swung back into view as he closed the cabinet. "Mm. Shit," Zack muttered. That's what he looked like.
A shower and a cup of coffee later, he felt mostly human. He stood next to the couch and looked down at Cloud. His face was scrunched up like he was dreaming. He looked beyond innocent with his blond spikes mashed around his head, and Zack couldn't help but smile. He was definitely going to feel worse than the SOLDIER when he woke up.
Zack fetched the pills from the bathroom and set a bottle of water next to them on the coffee table. He leaned down and shook Cloud's shoulder. "Cloud. I've gotta go to work, buddy."
Cloud scowled without opening his eyes. "m not hungry, Mom." He snuggled his face deeper into the pillow and was out again.
Zack laughed. Cloud probably wouldn't remember anything he told him now, anyway. He scribbled down a note and left it on the coffee table with the pills and water.
'Cloud, I had to go to work. Be back around 4. Eat whatever you want but DO NOT leave the apartment. I'll take you to the barracks to get your stuff when I get home. Stay out of the liquor.'
The last part was meant as a joke. He knew the thought of alcohol would make him want to throw up, if he wasn't already bent over the toilet. Zack laughed to himself and ruffled Cloud's hair before he left.
Blip-blip.
Zack's reminiscence was interrupted by the entrance of two green-scrub orderlies. It was the same two who had brought them down to the octo-room, and any good feelings brought back by the memories were immediately doused.
"Time for your session with Professor Hojo," the hairy one said dully.
"What session?" Zack asked suspiciously.
The orderly actually looked at him this time. "I dunno. We're just supposed to bring you. We gotta put these on first," he said, holding up two pairs of metal cuffs in his hands. They were double reinforced metal, suitable for SOLDIER strength. It seemed a little silly to Zack; he had no intention of attacking anyone, but he couldn't blame them for being careful after his performance the night before.
He sat at the edge of the bed with his feet over the side while one of them secured metal cuffs around his ankles. The other stood next to him with his strange blue glove on Zack's arm. Once that was done, they secured a second set around his wrists.
Zack was as docile as a lamb as they led him to Hojo's office. The chains jingled merrily with every step, mocking him with their cheerful tune. When the fancy door of the office slid into the wall, Zack walked forward without prompting. He sat in the chair and stared dully at Hojo.
Hojo looked ecstatic. He had his hands clasped in front of him as he smiled at Zack. "I never got the chance to congratulate you after your match. Brilliant performance. Well done, Zackary!"
Zack couldn't even summon righteous indignation. After all, he was the one who had made mincemeat of his best friend's face. He looked coldly at Hojo. "I don't know how you made me freak out like that, but if you ever pull something like that again, I'll make sure it's your face next time." He wasn't even completely sure Hojo had done something – it was entirely possible that he just snapped under the stress – but Zack needed to believe it for his own sanity.
Hojo lost his smile. "If you're ever to become the perfect soldier, you need to let go of those silly feelings. Human emotions make you weak. Once you learn to stop pretending like you care, those won't be necessary," he said, gesturing to the cuffs.
Zack glanced down at the metal encircling his wrists. "If I ever get to that point, please put me out of my misery," he said acidly.
Professor Hojo stood and straightened his lab jacket with a huff. "Well! I see how you respond to congratulations. Maybe negative reinforcement is more motivational for you."
"Probably," Zack muttered. At the moment, he would have preferred some kind of punishment. He didn't think anything could make him feel any worse than he already did.
A sly grin slid across Hojo's face. It was disturbing for some reason that Zack couldn't put into words. "Very well," he said. "Perhaps we'll talk when you're feeling more amicable." He pressed a button on his desk. A smooth sliding sound tipped him off to the opening of the office door.
"Don't hold your breath," Zack said. He stood and turned around to find the orderlies standing exactly where he'd left them. He wondered if they would still be standing in the same place if their meeting had taken an hour. Shooting one last scowl at the professor, he jingled his way back out of the office.
It looked different now. The gray place was no longer an expanse of nothingness. It was his childhood home. His mother stood at the stove, humming an unfamiliar tune. Cloud was stretched out on the bed with his hands behind his head, watching her work. He felt content in the warmth of the small hut. "Mom?" he said dreamily.
"Yes, love?"
Cloud sat up, frowning. She didn't sound right, and her accent was funny. Whatever she was cooking smelled unfamiliar, and her movements were not quite right. "You're not my mom," he said suspiciously. Instantly, he wished he could take the words back as the hut dissolved into smoke. "Wait! Come back!" Her presence was comforting, even if all the details weren't right.
Something not quite solid swirled around him in the gray mist. "Mother? Is that you?" he asked.
"Yes, I'm here," she said in her soothing voice. It was his guardian angel, not the mother who had tended to his childhood scrapes and fed him chicken soup when he got sick.
"Who was that just now?" Cloud asked the thickened mist.
"I don't know what you mean. I'm the only one here," she said serenely.
"But I…" Cloud shook his head. His brain felt scrambled. Maybe the whole thing was a product of his stressed mind; he felt like he needed his mother more than he had in years, and he ached for the comfort she provided. "Never mind. I'm glad you're here." He strained to focus on the faint form, but the harder he tried, the less certain he was that he had seen anything at all. He laid back and closed his eyes. "I think something's wrong with Zack. And maybe me, too. I know I was angry about something, but…" he reached for the memory, but it was slipping away from him through the mist. "I think he hurt me. And I think he meant to."
Putting his fears into words was disquieting. Before this strange hospital, he would have said that Zack would never hurt him. The gray almost-shape wisped in front of him again.
"There's nothing wrong with you, love," she said. But the Other…" she trailed off.
Cloud sat up. "You've been in his head, too."
"Yes," she said softly, regretfully.
"What is it, Mother? Tell me what you saw."
"He is…jealous." She sounded hesitant to tell him.
Cloud could have laughed out loud. "Why would Zack be jealous of me?"
Something touched his face softly. "You don't see it, but you are special. The Other sees it, too. It's why he chose you."
"Chose me?" Cloud asked skeptically. "For what?"
The mist started dissipating around him. "Wait! Don't go yet! " Cloud tried to stop her, lunging at her and wrapping his arms around nothing. The gray had shifted into watery green, and he was still frozen in his standing position. He heard the sound of the drain sucking the liquid out of the tube, and a moment later he hit his knees on the soft mat. Wendy stood next to Kyle.
Cloud grimaced. Any movement was hurting his face. The air was hurting his face. Wendy hauled him up by his arm and he bit his tongue to stifle the scream. "Come on, kid. Back to your room," she said.
They began walking back through the cement hallway. He reached up gingerly and touched his cheek. It was definitely still tender. His ribs and abdomen throbbed with pain. "Why are you taking me out before I'm healed?" he asked as she led him down the hall. The swelling around his mouth made it hard to form words.
"Boss doesn't think you've earned it," she said. She had one of those strange blue gloves too, and she kept it on his arm while they walked. "Broken bones and internal bleeding will throw off the testing schedule. Anything else…" she shrugged.
She removed her hand from his arm when they neared the door, just before the blip-blip sounded. Is that glove what they're using to unlock the doors? I wonder how hard it would be to get ahold of one of those.
He walked in the room ahead of Wendy. Zack jumped up from the bed as soon as he crossed the threshold, and Cloud took a startled step back, crunching her toes.
"Cloud!" Zack took a couple steps toward him, but stopped abruptly when he saw the look on his friend's face. "Cloud, I…I didn't…" He didn't seem to know what to say. His eyes focused instead on Wendy, who was leaning against the door with her arms across her chest, an expectant grin on her face. "Why are you standing there like that?" he demanded, directing his swirling emotions at her like a dart.
Wendy didn't seem to notice. "I missed all the fun last week. I thought I might get to see the encore performance," she said innocently.
Zack scowled at her. "Get out, Wendy."
Wendy looked like a giant baby pouting. Then she looked over at Cloud. "I should help you get changed anyway."
Cloud backed away fast. "Uh, no, that's ok Wendy. I got it." Between the two of them, Zack seemed pretty mellow, but Wendy was an immediate threat. He was wearing wet scrubs this time and he didn't even want to imagine what would happen if she tried to pull his shirt over his head with her trademark gentleness.
"Aww you guys are no fun," Wendy said sullenly before letting herself out of the room.
Cloud sat down gingerly on the edge of his bed, keeping a wary eye on Zack. He was still sore and aching all over, but he had to wonder how much worse it would have been if they hadn't let him heal some of his wounds in the tank. He supposed he should be thankful for the broken bones, because they were the only reason he'd been allowed to heal at all.
For once, Zack seemed at a loss for words. He took a few steps closer, but slowly, like he was afraid to spook him. "Cloud. I—I'm so sorry. I don't even know what to say. I don't know what happened." Cloud just stared at him. He wanted to believe him. He seemed like the Zack he thought he knew. The fight in his memory seemed so surreal. If he weren't so sore and battered, he might have been convinced it was all a bad dream. "I just…please…will you say something?" Zack pleaded. "Talk to me. Yell at me. Beat the shit out of me if it makes you feel better. Whatever you need to do. Ok? Cloud?"
Cloud blinked slowly. "I…" Zack leaned forward in anticipation of his words. "I need a shower," he said softly.
Zack's face fell, but he nodded and sat on his own bed. "Yeah, ok. We got some more shampoo and towels." He smiled slightly, hoping they could laugh about their silly fights from the previous week, but his roommate just blinked slowly before turning to walk into the bathroom.
Cloud shut the door and turned the shower on full blast. He wasn't even sure if he wanted to get in, but he couldn't sit out there with Zack anymore. He couldn't look at the sorrow in his eyes and not try to comfort him, and Cloud wasn't ready to do that yet. It wasn't that he didn't want to forgive his friend; he just felt so unsure about what was real and with whom he was sharing a room. Gingerly, he pulled his shirt over his head. He hissed a couple times when he lifted his arms and again when the shirt brushed against his face, which seemed much thicker than usual.
By the time he had managed to remove all of his clothes, the mirror was coated in steam. He wiped it away with his hand, leaving a reflection that wasn't entirely clear, and he was thankful for small favors. Cloud didn't even recognize himself. He'd been in plenty of fights in his youth and had been on the losing end of enough of them, but he couldn't remember ever being unable to see the color of his own skin. It was a palette of reds, purples, and blues. There was still a lot of swelling, causing lumps in strange places and pulling the delicate features of his face out of place. He reached his hand up to touch his cheek, wincing at the contact. It was the only way he could convince himself that the monster in the mirror was actually him.
"God damn, Zack," he whispered to himself. Cloud really only remembered being hit twice after banging his head on the wall. That meant that Zack must have kept going after he lost consciousness. More than anything, that convinced him that something was wrong. The Zack he knew would never have done something like that. He was obsessed with his ideas of fairness and honor. It was ironic because he'd been given a surgical advantage over most of the people on the planet, but he always, always held back unless it was a real life-or-death battle. The question that remained was whether the Zack out there now was the one he knew, or the stranger with the green-ringed iris from the octo-room.
The shower was more painful than he anticipated, but he pushed through it anyway. He might as well get used to it, because it sounded like Hojo had no plans of letting him recover before the testing continued.
He shut off the water and wrapped himself in the fluffy towel. Gods, I could really use some painkillers right about now. The mirror opened into a medicine cabinet, but it was bare. A strong sense of déjà vu gripped him. It was exactly the same as Zack's medicine cabinet. Cloud had gotten some liberal use of those pills the morning he awoke on Zack's couch with the worst headache of his life.
'Cloud, I had to go to work. Be back around 4. Eat whatever you want but DO NOT leave the apartment. I'll take you to the barracks to get your stuff when I get home. Stay out of the liquor.'
Cloud's stomach lurched in warning as he struggled to make sense of the words in Zack's hastily scribbled note. He stumbled to the bathroom just in time to avoid making a mess of the hardwood floor. He laid his head on the toilet seat and breathed harshly, sweat trickling down his face, swearing then and there that he would never again touch whatever Zack had given him the night before. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been so miserable.
He must have stayed in that bathroom for hours. When he finally felt that it was safe to go back out to the couch, he noticed the bottle of pills and the water sitting next to the note. He thumbed off the cap and poured several into his hand. Even the little bit of water he used to wash them down threatened to set off his stomach again.
Cloud eased his way back down on the couch and stared at nothing. Now that he was past the immediate distraction of the hangover, his future loomed drearily in front of him. He didn't know what he was going to do. He should be getting a bus ticket for his trip home. He should be packing up his few belongings in the barracks. But thinking of walking back into his hometown, admitting that he was a failure, made his stomach ache worse than the poison his body had just rejected.
Around noon, his phone vibrated in his pocket, startling him from the daze in which he'd been floating. He reached his hand down and retrieved it, reading the display before answering. It was Zack, of course. Who else would call him?
"Hey buddy! You still alive?"
"Uh. I'm not really sure," Cloud mumbled.
Zack laughed, sounding much too functional for Cloud's liking. "Yeah. Sorry about that. You drinking a lot of water today?"
"Mm mm," he groaned.
"Well, you need to. And try to eat something if you can."
"Zaaaack. Stop," Cloud moaned. "You're gonna make me puke again."
"Ok, ok," Zack laughed. He seemed far too amused by this. "I'll get take-out on my way home from work. Maybe you'll feel like eating by then."
Cloud rolled on his back and laid an arm over his eyes. "I doubt it. But I should get going, anyway. Maybe I can catch a bus back home tonight."
Zack paused. "There's no need to rush, man. You can crash as long as you want."
Despite feeling like death warmed over, Cloud smiled slightly. It was such a typical Zack thing to say. He was always speaking before thinking things through. "Thanks, but I—"
"Hey, we'll talk about it tonight, ok? I've gotta go. Just watch TV or play some video games or something. Later."
Cloud sighed and dropped his phone on the coffee table without moving the arm across his eyes. He actually felt a little better after hearing Zack's voice, maybe even well enough to go back to sleep. Within minutes, he had drifted back into blissful nothingness.
He awoke to the click of the door and the smell of food that actually didn't make his stomach churn. Zack's keys jingled as he pulled them from the lock. He tossed them into the bowl by the door and looked at Cloud through the late afternoon gloom. "You still sleeping? You're gonna be up all night," he warned, closing the door behind him. He tossed a duffel bag at Cloud's feet. "I got your stuff from the barracks."
Cloud sat up groggily. "Aw, thanks. You didn't have to do that."
"Yeah, I know, but you sounded pretty shitty still at noon. Plus it gave me the chance to go through all your stuff," he grinned.
Cloud pushed his hair out of his face with his hands and yawned. "Find anything interesting?"
"Just your porn stash. As a superior officer, I felt duty-bound to confiscate it."
Cloud laughed out loud, surprised at how much better he was feeling. He didn't have anything like that in the barracks, but he wouldn't put it past Zack to stick some in his bag just to taunt him about it later.
"Yeah, well, go ahead and add it to your collection, but I doubt you'll even notice. You must have confiscated it from tons of cadets to get such a huge stash."
Zack grinned and set down the bag of food on the table. "Feel like eating yet?"
Cloud thought about it. "I probably can manage some food." He rubbed his face with his hands. "Then I need to use your computer."
Zack removed several little cardboard boxes from the bag and spread them out on the coffee table. He tossed a plastic fork to Cloud and began opening the boxes, checking out the contents before settling on some spicy noodles. "Sure. What for?"
Cloud fiddled with his fork. "I need to look at the bus schedule."
Zack stabbed his fork into the noodles and twisted it around, wrapping the utensil in strings of pasta. "Hey, you really don't have to be in such a rush, buddy. You can stay here as long as you need to."
Cloud smiled, but it was tinged with sadness. "As much as I would love to be the unemployed homeless guy crashing on your couch, there's really no reason for me to be here anymore."
A serious look rarely seen on Zack's face settled as he looked up at his friend. "Cloud…if you leave…I don't know if I'll ever see you again."
That thought was one Cloud did not need added to the pile of painful emotions that stirred every time he thought about his future. "That's not true. We can visit each other. You can come see my little backwater town. I'm sure you'll be traveling all the time anyway, right?"
Zack just stared at him for a minute, but then he got that calculating look on his face. It usually meant he was up to something that would sound like a great idea at the time, but inevitably ended up being more than he bargained for. "How about this? You stay here for the weekend, and we'll get you a bus ticket for Monday."
It sounded like he was only getting a piece of Zack's grand scheme, as usual, but Cloud really wasn't in that much of a hurry to slink back home. They could have one last weekend together.
In the little bathroom of the hospital room, Cloud closed the medicine cabinet. That weekend was incredible. Even without the rest of Zack's scheme – which would only be revealed later – it would have been hard for Cloud to leave him behind to return to his sleepy hometown. He never felt more like himself, more alive, than when he was with Zack. If he'd gone home, his mother would have been the only person happy to see him. He would be the outcast again, and the smile that had come to feel natural on his face would be just a memory.
Even so, it would have been better than losing his friend the way he had here at the hospital facility. At least if he had gone home, he could have remembered Zack the way he was back at the academy. All of those happy memories were now tainted with anger and insults and the image of Zack's rage.
Cloud opened the bathroom door and began walking carefully across the room. Someone had put a clean set of scrubs on his bed, and food had been delivered while he'd been in the shower. Zack sat on his own bed with his empty plate. His eyes followed Cloud as he made his way across the room. Cloud averted his eyes and focused on walking without moving the muscles of his abdomen. It was still a deep purple from Zack's fist. The bruise stretched around the side under his ribs.
Zack's eyes landed on that dark purple patch and his face paled. He swallowed hard and looked up at Cloud's face, which really wasn't better. "They…uh…they brought our food," he said tentatively. "Are you hungry?"
Truthfully, Cloud wanted to lie on the bed and try not to move. Eating sounded like something that would require effort. "Not at all," he said quietly. "You can have it if you want."
Zack didn't make a move for the food as Cloud eased himself down on the bed. He pushed the clean scrubs to the side and carefully stretched out on his back. "I uh…I got some ice for you," Zack said, holding up a bag. He stood and approached Cloud's bed slowly. His eyes were their usual dark blue, without a trace of the spooky green ring Cloud had seen in the octo-room.
Zack sat down on the edge of the bed. Instead of just handing the ice to Cloud, he pressed it up against the most tender side of his face and held it there. The cold was a bit of a shock, but soon the welcoming numbness sunk in. Cloud let out a sigh of relief and released the tension in his muscles. His eyes drifted closed. A few seconds later, he felt a soothing hand carding through his hair. It continued in a regular pattern, starting at his forehead and tracing over the top of his head. It was fantastically relaxing, and he soon found himself drifting off to sleep.
The whispered words he heard may have been a dream, or they may have been from the man gently running his fingers through his hair. "I swear to you - I will never let you be hurt again."
Zack wanted to stay there all night. He couldn't blame Cloud for being skittish, and he wasn't sure if his acceptance of Zack's peace offering was sincere or if he was just too exhausted to fight back. What if he didn't want anything to do with him the next morning? What if this was his last chance to be with him? But in the end, his concern for Cloud's rest overcame his own selfish desires. Every time Cloud moved in his sleep, he bumped against Zack in the small bed. He didn't wake up, but his face scrunched up in pain.
Cloud had fallen asleep without getting dressed, and Zack was afraid to wake him up and hurt him more by pulling out the covers underneath him, but it got cold in there at night. He traced his fingers one last time through the golden spikes before easing himself off the bed. He pulled the blanket from his own bed and tucked it around Cloud's shoulders. At least it hid the hideous bruise that accompanied the angry scar marring his chest.
He ached just looking at Cloud's battered face. Watching his friend trying to move around the next morning hurt Zack almost as much as it hurt Cloud himself. Every wince or grunt of pain shot through Zack like a shock. "Do you need help?" he asked tentatively. "Getting dressed?"
Cloud's pained eyes looked up at him. "No. I'm fine," he said softly, and then went back to work easing on the yellow scrubs. He was so subdued, and Zack had no idea where he stood.
Blip-blip.
Dr. Hyde entered the room, looking chipper. He linked his hands behind his back and bounced a bit on his toes. "Good morning, boys. Ready for round two of testing?" Zack just glared at Hyde, and Cloud ignored him, continuing his slow work getting dressed. Apparently not expecting an answer, Dr. Hyde beamed at them. "Good. Cloud, you're first."
"What?!" Zack started forward, his fists clenching at his sides. "Are you crazy? He can't do testing today!"
"He can and he will," Dr. Hyde said calmly.
"Doc, look at him! He's still injured!" Zack interjected furiously.
Dr. Hyde shrugged. "Then he shouldn't have let himself get beat so badly."
Zack stormed toward the doctor. "You—"
"Zack," Cloud interrupted. The quiet steel in his voice cut through Zack's fury, and the SOLDIER stopped in his tracks, his eyes immediately drawn to Cloud. Cloud shook his head, saying nothing else. Then he turned to Dr. Hyde. "I'm ready."
Zack's fingernails cut into the palms of his hands. He felt helpless, furious, and guilty as hell. He clenched his teeth and watched Cloud follow Dr. Hyde through the door. "DAMN IT!" he exploded as soon as they were gone. He wanted to hit something. He wanted to scream. He wanted his sword so he could cut Dr. Hyde into pieces.
The thought was sobering. Zack fought who and what he was told to fight. His feelings had no place in his battles. He was just a tool, and if he didn't do it, someone else would, so he felt no guilt for his actions. On the contrary, it was thrilling, feeling the adrenaline pumping through his mako-thick blood, cutting down enemies. That's all they were – nameless enemies that someone else decided needed to die.
This felt different. He wanted to hurt someone. It was too close to the rage he'd felt in the octo-room when he lost control. It all came full-circle, then. He wasn't angry at Dr. Hyde. He was angry at himself, angry that Cloud was letting him off so easy. He wanted to be hurt as badly as he had hurt Cloud. It wouldn't make it better, but he deserved it.
Zack let himself fall to the floor and sprawled on his back. He found himself looking up at the camera in the corner. He wondered, again, if someone was watching him through it. A guard, maybe? Even Hojo himself? "I bet you're enjoying this, aren't you? You sadistic asshole." It just wasn't satisfying to yell at electronics, though, so he sighed and directed his eyes back up at the ceiling.
What were they doing in that place, anyway? Why were they being forced to fight each other? He didn't even have any real idea what they were putting in those infusions. He supposed he'd been conditioned to accept whatever Shinra gave him, but maybe it was time to start thinking for himself. After this, he was starting to suspect that maybe Hojo and Hyde weren't doing this "treatment" to help them. It wasn't an enhancement; it felt more like an experiment.
The familiar sound of the door unlocking pulled Zack from his thoughts. It was Jax with breakfast. Zack rolled back and flipped himself up on his feet.
Jax grinned. "Showoff," he said, letting the door shut behind him. He only had a single covered platter on his tray.
Zack pulled the tray over to himself and removed the rounded cover. He was just starting to realize that he was famished, but he really didn't want to eat alone. He didn't want the time to think and brood. "Hey Jax?" he said, catching the orderly before he left. "Do you have a few minutes?"
Jax turned around and shrugged. "Sure. What's up?"
"I just realized…I don't know anything about you. You got family in the area?"
A shadow passed over the normally cheerful orderly's features and he sank down onto Cloud's bed. "I did, but…well, not anymore."
"Oh. Damn. I'm sorry," Zack said, feeling bad about stepping into that.
Jax lowered his head. "I don't really want to talk about it."
"Sure, of course," Zack said, searching for another, safer topic. "How do you like working for Shinra? Is Hojo always such a bastard?"
A chuckle escaped Jax, and just like that, he'd locked away those bad feelings. Zack wished he knew how to do that. "Well, it pays the bills," Jax said with a shrug. "It's not bad. It keeps me busy. I'm stuck here for the duration of the project, so I try to make the best of it. I've never actually met Hojo, though. I get orders from my boss, who's down the ladder from him. He's got kind of a reputation as a mad scientist though, so I wish I could."
Zack made a face and finished chewing his eggs before responding. "Trust me, you don't want to. Back at the academy, I used to hear rumors about him torturing little forest animals for kicks. I thought they were just stories, but now that I've met him? Yeah, I could totally see him doing it. Plus he has the most obnoxious voice that—"
"Zack," Jax interrupted with a tone of warning. "You shouldn't say things like that." His eyes flickered in the direction of the camera in the corner.
Zack snorted. "Hell, I don't care. I'll say it to his face." He turned to the camera. "You hear that, Hojo? You're a crazy bastard and everyone knows about your sick hobbies."
Jax quickly got to his feet. "Well, I should get going. Nice talking to you, Zack." Before Zack could respond, Jax escaped through the door.
Damn, he really seems scared of Hojo. I wonder why… As angry as Zack was about what Hojo had made him do – and he had decided that it was definitely Hojo's fault somehow – he didn't believe he was actually dangerous, especially to his employees. Maybe he should re-evaluate that idea. After all, he was practically orgasmically happy about how badly Cloud had been hurt. If the stories about the animals were true, what did it mean for the two of them? How many different ways could he come up with to hurt them in the name of science?
