"Well, I must hand it to you, Klaus. That was an amusing fight," Hojo chuckles. "Zack really does have some potential."

Dr. Hyde beams. "All week, they were arguing like children!" he says proudly. "The chemical I added to the serum worked even better than I thought it would."

"Indeed," Professor Hojo muses. "They did it all on their own after the infusions?"

"Mm, not entirely," Hyde says. He rises and walks to the wet bar, pulling down two crystal glasses from the shelf and pouring the dark liquid from the decanter. Hojo doesn't bother to get him anything anymore, but Hyde makes himself at home. It surprises me because it requires a certain amount of trust, and Professor Hojo is not known to trust anyone. Even more shocking is that he almost seems to respect the doctor. The camaraderie they share is extremely unusual. In general, Hojo treats his employees as unfit to lick his boots, but he seems to have found a kindred spirit in Hyde.

"I may have helped trigger a few fights," Hyde says. His modesty rings false with the haughty expression on his face. "But naturally, they blamed each other for everything that went wrong."

It was juvenile, really, the way he played pranks on those boys. It was painful for me to watch them discover each new trigger and fight over every one. Perhaps I've become immune to the physical tortures they inflict on most of their subjects by now, but the psychological assault is new. They are well practiced at breaking the body, but the mind is entirely different.

Dr. Hyde strolls back to his own overpriced chair and hands a drink to Hojo – more proof of his unusual trust in Hyde. Professor Hojo reclines with his spidery fingers wrapped around the sparkling crystal. He takes a sip of the dark liquid and sighs contentedly. "What now? I do hope you have more entertainment in store for me."

Dr. Hyde frowns, his smug demeanor fading for a moment. "This is supposed to be about science," he says, as if he just remembered that it wasn't playtime. It was a mistake for Hojo to refer to it as entertainment. Hyde's conscience may be lacking, but it's not completely absent.

"It is," Hojo says, a calculating smirk replacing his relaxed smile. "In fact, I've never studied this aspect of SOLDIERs and their trust in their comrades. Don't you think Shinra would be interested to learn how far one would be willing to go for another? Or what it takes to break that bond? It could be useful in captive situations and behavioral predictions in wartime."

I can almost see the cogs turning in Dr. Hyde's head. His eyes get wider and brighter as he considers the possibilities. "Just think of the papers I could publish!" He looks back at Professor Hojo, his eyes narrowing speculatively behind his tiny glasses. "Of course, these two are already involved in the S-cell experiment. We shouldn't introduce a new one. Obviously, your brilliant work can't be compromised."

"That's true," Hojo agrees. "The S-cell experiment must take priority. However, as long as you don't jeopardize the results, I don't have any objection to adding this new dimension to the experiment. We can accomplish both at the same time."

It's fascinating, in a way, to watch these two in their manipulative chess game. Hojo plays on Hyde's interest in psychology as a way to continue his sick entertainment and soothe the doctor's ruffled conscience. Hyde applies careful flattery of Hojo's overblown ego to get his approval to launch a new project. As much as I'm beginning to despise them both, I won't deny that they're brilliant men. They must be aware of the other's motives and the delicate game they're playing, even as they pat themselves on the back for their own brilliant moves.

Dr. Hojo fiddles absently with his tie as he thinks. "The specimens seem to have quite a strong bond. It will take time to tear down." An enlightened smile spreads across his face. "But don't be concerned, Horace. I have a plan."


Chapter 4: Psychology

Zack was a SOLDIER. He was using to being pushed to his limits. He was used to working his body so hard that he fell asleep, fully dressed, the second he got back to his dorm.

He was used to long missions. Extreme cold and heat. Pain, hunger, and lack of sleep.

Cloud was not. That was the only explanation Zack could think of. This kind of conditioning must have seemed extreme to Cloud. Whether he was intentionally exaggerating or not wasn't really important right then.

"Five days, Cloud?"

"Yes, Zack! Five days! I'm starving! They force me to keep running and they give me all the water I want, but no food. Look, I can't even stand without shaking. I'm not making this up!" Cloud laid back on his bed, fighting back tears.

"Ok, buddy, ok," Zack soothed him. He watched his young friend deliberately slow his breathing and calm down. A few weeks had passed since the assault in the octo-room, and Zack was going to extra lengths to keep Cloud happy. His wounds had healed faster than expected since he'd started the mako treatment, but Zack could still see them every time he looked at his face. It was a filter of guilt.

When he seemed as calm as he was going to be, Zack said offhandedly, "You know, when you go through training for SOLDIER, they push you pretty hard. They want you to condition your body so that, when you're forced into those kinds of situations during a mission or whatever, you can survive it."

Cloud turned his head to look at Zack. "You're telling me that they conditioned you by starving you while forcing you to run until your legs gave out?"

"Well…no, not exactly. But they did stuff like that, and it was for a good reason."

Cloud's face started turning red again. "Can you think of a good reason for this?"

Zack got up from his bed and went to sit on Cloud's. He rested a hand on his friend's golden hair, staving off the mounting hysteria. "Look, I'll talk to Dr. Hyde, ok? We can eat together, and that way they'll have to give you the same thing I'm getting or else explain to me why you can't."

Cloud looked away, but he nodded reluctantly. Zack was afraid that his friend was beginning to lose faith in him.


"Dude, you totally cheated!" Zack accused.

Cloud laughed. "It's not cheating. It's called reading cues."

"What are you talking about?"

The two boys sat on the floor between their beds with a deck of cards. Zack was fortunate that they weren't actually gambling.

"You know why they call it a poker face, Zack? Because you need to keep a straight face to be any good at poker. And you really suck, buddy."

Zack sputtered indignantly. "I am keeping a straight face. You can see my cards or something!"

Cloud laughed even harder. "I might as well be. They're written all over your face."

Blip-blip.

"Whatever. I refuse to concede defeat," Zack said, tossing his cards back by the deck.

Cloud wasn't even listening anymore. He had jumped up from the floor and was already sitting at the table, smelling food for the first time in days. His stomach knotted painfully in anticipation.

"Hey guys," Jax said as he pulled in the trays. "Looks like you get to eat together today."

Cloud took his eyes off the food long enough to glance at Zack, who threw him a wink.

"But Zack, you're scheduled for some testing in 20 minutes, so you'll have to stop talking long enough to shovel it down if you want to eat."

Cloud had eagerly grabbed his tray and was cramming food into his mouth by the handful. Silverware had no place on the express train.

"Damn, buddy," Zack said, watching his friend in awe. "Slow down before you choke or puke or something." He picked up his fork and stabbed it into a piece of broccoli.

Cloud knew that Zack thought he was either delusional or exaggerating, but it really had been days since he'd last eaten. Zack's voice only registered as a dim background distraction in comparison to the clamoring of his starving cells. In less than 3 minutes, the cadet's plate was empty. He sat back in his chair, trying to catch his breath, wiping his hands on a napkin.

Zack stared at him, wide-eyed, as he slowly chewed his food.

"Can I have whatever you don't finish?" Cloud asked, fidgeting with the napkin while he watched Zack's leisurely dinner.

"Um, why don't you just let that settle a little bit first?" Zack asked.

"It's settling, Zack! And you have to leave in 15 minutes anyway."

Zack finally shrugged. "Yeah. You can finish the rest when I leave."

Cloud nodded, but he was staring so intensely that Zack was too unnerved to continue eating in front of him. Zack set down his fork and shoved his half-eaten plate across the table. Cloud didn't hesitate to pick up his fork and continue stuffing his face, but at least he was civilized enough to use silverware this time.

Blip-blip.

Jax poked his head through the door. "Yo, Zack. You ready?"

Zack took one last look at Cloud cleaning his plate and shook his head. "Yeah, let's go."

Cloud polished off every last crumb, then slumped down in his chair. Finally, the constant ache in his stomach had been dulled. He had five minutes of contentment before a new feeling kicked up from his gut.

Oh…shit.

He clamped his hand over his mouth and bolted to the bathroom, barely making it over the threshold before losing his much-anticipated lunch all over the bathroom floor. He fell to his knees and crawled the rest of the way to the bowl, just in time for the next violent expulsion. There was barely time to gasp for breath before his stomach twisted in a painful cramp, forcefully emptying every last morsel of food. After ten excruciating minutes, his fashionable yellow scrubs were soaked with sweat.

Cloud rested his face on the seat and tried to catch his breath. His body had been so intent on ridding his stomach of its contents that he'd gotten dizzy from the lack of air. When his head had finally cleared, he pushed himself up on shaking arms and shuffled over to the sink. Gaia, he looked awful. His face was pasty white. His eyes held more red than blue. His hair was matted to his head with sweat. Turning on the tap, he cupped his hands under the running water and brought them up to his mouth. He slurped some of the water, trying to wash the bitter taste of bile from his throat.

His stomach muscles had been given quite a workout, but he didn't feel terrible otherwise. It didn't feel like a flu or anything. Maybe Zack was right about him eating too fast. Cloud wasn't in the mood to hear 'told ya so', so he decided not to say anything to Zack. At least he was getting fed again.

Then he turned around to face the bathroom door. Yep, he still had that to look forward to. A thick trail of undigested food led from just inside the doorway to the toilet, and he wasn't going to leave it there for Zack to find. He reached up to the high cupboard next to the shower and selected a lovely puke green hand towel.

After he'd finished cleaning up the floor, he peeled off the sweaty scrubs, deposited them in the hamper with the nasty towel, and started the shower. When the temperature was just right, he climbed in. The water pressure here was wonderful, so much better than the group showers and rusty water in the barracks. He leaned his arms and head against the wall, letting the water pound against his back, loosening the tension in his muscles.

A thumping on the door interrupted his pleasant haze. "Yo! Blondie!" Wendy's rough voice sounded through the wooden door. "Did you forget? Treadmill time!"

Cloud sighed and shut off the water. He hadn't forgotten, but his testing didn't start for two hours after dinner. Had it really been that long? Climbing out of the shower and pulling a towel from the shelf, he opened the door to Wendy's smug face. "Already?"

"Same time as always, kid. Come on, let's get you dressed."

Cloud didn't object to Wendy's help anymore. He wasn't injured and her rough treatment was no more than an annoyance. Moreover, he was weary and his stomach muscles ached; her help conserved the limited amount of energy he had, and he was going to need it for the treadmill.

Once he had been shoved into a clean set of scrubs, Wendy grabbed him by the arm with her blue gloved hand. Every step down the corridor felt like he was walking through mud, and he wondered if he had managed to absorb anything in the brief time the food was in his stomach. Cloud dragged himself along next to her, trying to keep up. She must have been walking faster than usual since they'd had a late start.

When they reached the treadmill room, she unlocked the door and waved him inside. Dr. Hyde was already there with his clipboards and pens and a fresh-faced assistant. He glanced up with disinterest. "Well, you know the drill. Onto the treadmill," he said.

Cloud stepped onto the treadmill and obligingly held up his shirt while the assistant connected half a dozen probes to his skin. When the belt started moving, he drearily began jogging. His steps were heavy and graceless on the platform. After about five minutes, his legs began to wobble. He used the railings to hold up some of his weight on his arms, and the trembling subsided for a bit, but his arms felt just as weak. Within another five minutes, the strength of both arms and both legs together wasn't enough to support him. They simply gave out, and he collapsed on the moving belt.

He was ejected from the base of the treadmill. He laid there limply on the floor, trying to catch his breath. Dr. Hyde frowned down at him. "How is it possible that your performance is getting worse, boy?"

Cloud was too exhausted to even muster any anger. "Because you haven't fed me in almost a week," he said wearily. "I can't keep pushing my body like this without food. Damn, I thought you were a doctor."

Dr. Hyde looked perplexed. "What are you talking about? All of our patients are fed three times a day."

Cloud summoned the strength to sit up. Despite the short run, he was dripping from the exertion. "Really? Because the orderlies said I wasn't allowed to eat on your orders. They said something about the first infusion causing some kind of reaction with food if I eat too soon."

"Don't be ridiculous," Hyde said dismissively. "I've seen them delivering both of your trays several times in the last week."

"What?" The cadet wanted to be indignant, but something in the back of his mind whispered: Are you sure? Cloud shook his head, hard. "Then you're mistaken. Talk to your orderlies. They're not bringing me food, and they say it's on your orders!"

"Certainly, I'll speak to them," Hyde said. "But…are you certain this isn't a product of your mind?"

"I'm not making it up!" Cloud said, feeling overwhelmed. "I can barely manage ten minutes on the treadmill! Do you really think I'm lying?!"

Dr. Hyde considered him closely, tapping his pen against his lip thoughtfully. "I believe that you believe it's true. The mind is a powerful thing, you know. Did you ever consider that maybe your mind is causing your body to act weak?"

"What? No!" Cloud yelled, finally losing control, his hair grasped in his fists. He wasn't sure if he was shaking so hard from weakness or anger, but his emotions were on a roller coaster. His head felt fuzzy. He felt like screaming and crying and throwing things. The lack of control was as disconcerting as Hyde's suggestion.

The doctor pressed a button next to a speaker on the wall. "Send Wendy down to the tread room to collect the specimen, please."

Cloud pushed sweaty bangs away from his eyes to glare at the doctor. "What did you just call me?"

Dr. Hyde looked over his glasses at the boy on the floor. "I didn't call you anything," he said calmly.

"Yes you did! On the speaker, just now, you told Wendy to come collect the specimen!"

"I think you're delirious," Hyde said, peering over the spectacles with concern.

Blip-blip.

Wendy entered the room and hauled Cloud up by his arm. "Make sure he gets some water please, Wendy," Hyde directed. "And he may need some help with a shower."

Wendy pulled him out the door. "I don't need help showering!" Cloud protested. The door closed behind them. "I don't," he told Wendy, supporting his own weight with an effort. "I'm fine. I could use some food, though."

"Sorry, Blondie, doc says you can't have any."


Zack was getting increasingly worried about his roommate. Cloud claimed that he still wasn't getting fed. "Cloud, I just saw you eating yesterday. Remember? Jax brought us both our food at the same time."

Cloud looked instantly embarrassed. "Yeah, but I…" he sighed. "Right after you left, I got sick and threw it all up. Ok? You're probably right, I know, I ate too fast, but that's the only thing I've eaten all week!"

Zack really didn't know what to think. He couldn't imagine Cloud would purposely lie about something like that, but maybe the strain of this place was getting to him. Of course, Zack didn't think it was particularly stressful (other than the last time in the octo-room, which he was trying very hard not to think about), but again, Cloud wasn't used to this kind of thing. Maybe he couldn't hack it in SOLDIER after all.

The disloyal thought left a bad taste in his mouth, and Zack gave himself a mental smack. "Alright, we'll try it again," he said, rallying his voice. "Hey, look, we'll be doing the infusions again next week, right? We eat all our meals together during the infusion week."

Cloud nodded slowly. "Ok. So only one more day," he said shakily. "I can handle one more day."

The next day, Zack and Cloud were again separated during meal times, but Zack was almost completely convinced that the problem was in Cloud's wiring. He just needed to be able to see it for himself so that he could convince Cloud of the truth.

The new week began. Both boys opened their eyes to the blip-blip of their door. Dr. Hyde strolled in with his little black bag as usual. He ran through quick examinations on both of them and re-packed the tools in his bag. Cloud seemed to be shaking in anticipation of his food. "Alright, Cloud, you're first," Hyde said briskly. "The orderlies will be here to escort you shortly."

"Escort me where?" Cloud asked suspiciously.

"For your next round of testing, of course," the doctor said calmly.

"But…we just did the testing last week," Zack protested.

"Yes, well, we're doing it again this week," Hyde said. "Is that a problem?"

Zack looked between Cloud and the doctor. Cloud was looking a little pale and exhausted. "Doc, can I talk to you, alone?"

Cloud frowned. "Seriously? What can't you say in front of me?" He seemed truly hurt by Zack's question.

"It's uh…don't take it the wrong way, buddy. It's personal," Zack said appeasingly.

Dr. Hyde sighed. "Fine. As soon as the orderlies come to collect Cloud, you can have a moment."

The three of them waited in awkward silence for a few more minutes, until a single blue-gloved orderly showed up. Cloud looked utterly defeated as he was led through the door, and it was killing Zack. "Ok, look," he said, as soon as the door closed behind them. "Cloud has been saying that he's not getting any food."

"Yes, he said the same to me," Hyde said with a frown. He crossed his arms in his lab coat. "It's absurd."

"Right," Zack said, feeling a flash of guilt for siding with the doctor. "But I'm sure I can talk some sense into him if I have some proof. Can't you just rearrange our schedules a little bit so we can eat together? I'll take some pictures of him eating with my phone."

Hyde studied Zack for several seconds. It seemed like an eternity to Zack. "I can't make any promises," the doctor finally said, "but I'll try to arrange it so that some of your meals are together. I'm counting on you to talk some sense into him, Zack."

Zack nodded gratefully. "I will. I know he'll believe it if it comes from me."


Dr. Hyde wasn't able to make the changes to their schedules that day, but the following day, he assured Zack that they could eat lunch together. It was a relief to hear. Cloud was really looking rough that morning, and he'd been taken for testing first thing.

He was waiting impatiently at the table when the noon hour finally rolled around. Jax strolled in with his two trays of food, setting them in front of Zack and Cloud with a flourish. Cloud immediately pulled off the cover.

"Remember, Cloud," Zack warned before he could dive in. "Don't eat too fast this time."

"Yeah, ok, fine," he said impatiently. However, he did take the time to use his silverware, and to chew and swallow each bite. It wasn't slow by any means, but at least he wasn't inhaling it this time.

Zack discreetly pulled out his phone and snapped a picture. Unfortunately, he'd forgotten to turn off the flash. He winced at the bright light and hoped Cloud hadn't noticed. Smooth, Zack. Really discreet.

"Uh, did you just take a picture of me eating?" Cloud asked.

Zack rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah. It's just so…in case you forget later."

His friend's face was a mishmash of expressions: anger, betrayal, hurt, and resignation. He didn't say anything, but he didn't have to. Zack felt every one of them like a kick to the gut. Cloud just shook his head and continued eating.

Blip-blip.

Wendy entered the room. "Yo, Zack. Time for your meeting with the prof."

Zack's eyes jumped between Cloud, Wendy, the food, and back again. "But I haven't even eaten yet. Can't it wait?"

Wendy snorted. "Yeah, no. I'm not telling Hojo that you were too busy for him." She grabbed Zack's arm with her blue glove and pulled him to his feet. He stood reluctantly.

"It'll be quick, Cloud, ok? I'll be right back," Zack said emphatically.

Cloud didn't look up. He just kept steadily eating. Apparently he was still upset about the picture. Zack allowed himself to be pulled out the door.

Wendy didn't seem to share his urgency to get there. She regulated his pace with her blue-gloved hand, and Zack knew it would only cause problems if he fought her. He had forgotten what a long walk it was to get to Hojo's office. When they arrived and the door slid smoothly into the wall, Zack walked quickly to the back of the chair and grabbed the top.

"What is it, Hojo?" he asked, words spilling out in a rush. Professor Hojo was writing something and didn't immediately look up. "I'm in a hurry," he said impatiently.

Hojo finished writing and set down his pen. "In the future, you will address me as 'Professor Hojo' or 'Sir'," he said crisply. "It's disrespectful not to use my title and I won't tolerate it."

Zack's hands clenched on the back of the chair. He really didn't want to waste time arguing. "I'm sorry, Professor Hojo," he said quickly. "What do you want to talk about?"

Hojo leaned back in his chair and folded his hands on the desk in front of him. "Have a seat, Zack. There's no need to rush."

Zack sat down in the chair to appease the professor, but he was in no less of a hurry. "I just got my lunch and it's getting cold," he said, the excuse sounding lame even to his own ears.

Dr. Hojo raised one thin brow and appraised the SOLDIER like an insect. The message was clear: he really didn't give a damn about Zack's food. Hojo outranked him, if barely, so Zack would have to play his game. He gripped the arms of the chair to channel his frustration, loosening them only when he felt the supporting wood begin to splinter.

"I merely wanted to find out how well you're adjusting to the enhancements," Hojo said calmly. "I did tell you that we would be having these monthly discussions. Do you…remember that conversation, Zack?" He raised his brows in mock concern.

Zack scowled at the not-so-subtle jab at his intelligence. To Professor Hojo, everyone was an imbecile, but Zack pushed back the irritation. Hojo was just trying to get under his skin. He couldn't let it distract him. "Fine," he said. "I feel fine."

The professor began writing on the notepad in front of him. It was shielded from Zack's view, but he was fairly certain that the oily man was just scribbling nonsense to take up more time. "Have you noticed any difference in your strength, speed, or senses?" he asked. He was speaking maddeningly slowly, as if to deliberately counter Zack's rushed words.

"You know, I really haven't," Zack said. "So I have nothing else to report." The professor stared at him, the slightest smirk tilting his lips as he took in Zack's tense posture and his grip on the armrests. He was purposely goading him. Zack scowled. "Anything else, Sir?" he asked, straining to keep his voice courteous.

"Hm. We'll have to make some adjustments to the infusions next week, I suppose," he said lightly. "You should certainly have been seeing some results, even with your previous enhancements."

Zack bit down on his tongue. Play his game. Don't let him see how much you want to leave. Don't give him any more excuses to stall.

The professor's smile widened. Zack felt like the creepy old man could see right through him. Finally, Hojo leaned back in his chair. "That's all. You are excused."

Zack stood and bolted toward the door, and of course Hojo took his time to push the button to open it. Wendy stood on the other side, waiting like a faithful mutt. "Let's go," he muttered, brushing past her.


Cloud was curled up on the bed, facing the blank wall. His breathing was shallow and the hair at his temples was damp with sweat. He should have known this would happen. How convenient that Zack had to leave before Cloud forcefully ejected his lunch. He was starting to think this was all some kind of conspiracy. They wanted Zack to doubt him. They wanted Cloud to doubt himself. If so, it was working on all counts.

Blip-blip.

Cloud didn't bother to move when Zack came back into the room. "Hey, buddy," Zack said cautiously. "Did you…uh…did you finish eating already?"

Cloud sighed. "Yes, Zack. I finished eating and threw it all up again, but of course you weren't here to see it, so you still think I'm making things up." He recited the sentence dully.

Zack was silent, staring at his friend in shock. He approached the bed slowly and sat down next to Cloud's back. "Well, actually, you look pretty sick," he said quietly. "I believe you."

Cloud rolled over onto his back to meet his friend's eyes. The SOLDIER's words were an immense relief. He had been prepared for another heartfelt conversation about his reality. "You do?"

Zack wiped at the cooling sweat on his friend's face. "Yeah. But…are you sure you didn't eat any of those other times?"

Cloud's mouth turned bitter. He rolled away from his roommate again. "Fuck you, Zack."

"Cloud, I…I'm just trying to…I want to understand but…" Zack's voice was pleading. He couldn't seem to find a way to say it that didn't come across as 'I think you're lying or batshit crazy.' Finally, Cloud felt the bed shift as he stood up and moved away.

The next few days passed much the same, with their meals never falling at a time when they were together, and the orderlies refusing to bring him food because Dr. Hyde wouldn't allow it. Cloud didn't have it in him to give Zack the silent treatment for that long, but their conversations were strained with an undercurrent.

You don't believe me.
I want to believe you but…
You think it's all in my head.
I just don't know what to think.
I can't believe you would take the word of some doctor over your best friend.
I'm just trying to help! It's not your fault. You're sick.

In the meantime, Cloud's movements slowed to a snail's pace. The ache of hunger was unrelenting, but he was so lethargic that he escaped into the unfeeling bliss of sleep at all hours of the day. His tests were practically useless with the little bit of energy he had to give, but Hyde never mentioned it again. He simply wrote down the diminishing numbers and summoned Wendy to half-carry him back to his room.

On Friday, their schedules finally aligned to allow them to eat together again. Cloud was slumped against the wall, looking at Zack as they waited for their food to arrive. "You think they're gonna come get you after the food gets here again?" Cloud asked dully.

Zack got a determined look on his face. "No matter what, I'm not going."

Cloud snorted. His eyes were half-lidded. "Doesn't matter. Just means you'll be here to watch me puke."

"Then I'll help you get through it. And I'll have some fuel to confront Hyde."

Cloud smiled slightly. It was hard for him to stay mad at Zack. His intentions were good, even if he was a bit misguided.

Zack sat forward with a conspiratorial expression. "All right, here's what I'll do. I'm gonna go shut myself in the bathroom. If someone shows up looking for me, you tell them I'm got the shits and they'll just have to wait."

"Ok, but then what if I get sick and I need to get in there?"

"Then just come in, dude! I'm not really gonna be on the pot."

Cloud laughed for the first time in days. He was starting to get a little excited about their tiny rebellion.

Blip-blip.

Zack's eyes darted to the door and he jumped up. "Gotta go!" He ran to the bathroom and slammed the door as Jax walked in, pushing his rolling table with two trays.

Jax looked surprised. "Was that Zack?"

"Yeah," Cloud acknowledged. "He said something about his stomach and then bolted into the bathroom. I don't think I wanna go in there anytime soon."

Jax made a face. "Alright, where you sitting, kid?" Cloud scooted over to his place at the table. Jax placed one of the trays in front of him, the other on the opposite side of the table. "Well, if you need to get in there anytime soon…it was nice knowin' ya." The orderly grinned and left him to eat.

It was tempting to wolf the food down again. In fact, his body begged for him to inhale it, but he restrained himself. If he was going to get sick again, he didn't want to have any doubts about the cause.

As predicted, about ten minutes later, another blip-blip heralded the entry of one of the green-scrub orderlies. "Hey, where's Zack?" the bald man asked.

"He's in the bathroom, but…I don't think you want to go near it. I've been hearing some weird noises coming out of there."

The orderly scowled and ignored his advice, stalking toward the bathroom door at the far side of the room and knocking with the back of his knuckles. "Yo, Zack? I've gotta take you down for a test."

"Uuunnggghhhh. Oh…oh gods, that's….uhhhh."

Cloud hid his grin and continued eating steadily. The orderly seemed to hesitate. "Are you ok, dude?" the man asked. "We need to go—"

"Ohhhhh. Uggh. Is there a vent or something we could open in here? The smell is…I think I'm gonna pass out." Zack was playing his role to the max, and Cloud had to muffle his laughter in a napkin.

"Maybe…we can reschedule…" the bald man said hesitantly.

"Mm. Good idea. Like, way, way later reschedule." Zack moaned.

Cloud's stomach started to twist in a knot. He swallowed his gorge and willed it to stay down, just long enough for the orderly to leave. It wasn't going to happen. He lunged for the garbage in the corner and wrapped his arms around it, forcefully ejecting everything he'd just consumed into the plastic bin.

The orderly looked at Cloud, wide-eyed. Between Zack stinking up the bathroom and Cloud puking in the corner, he was ready to get out. "I'll—I'll go get Hyde," he said, fleeing the room.


Zack heard the door slam shut. He laughed out loud. Damn, that was fun. He wanted to go celebrate with Cloud. "Dude, we—" Then he heard the new noise. "Oh, shit," he swore, flinging open the door. Cloud was in the far corner of the room, his body convulsing and heaving over the garbage can. He was leaning heavily on it, but the plastic wasn't made for that kind of pressure, especially tilted to one side. The bottom slid out and the can fell over.

Zack crossed the room in seconds, but when he reached his friend, he had no idea what to do. He picked up the can before the mess spilled all over the floor, but he could do nothing for Cloud. This wasn't a normal, everyday, slight-stomach-bug vomit. His whole body jerked with every heave. There was very little coming out anymore, but his body was still trying to desperately rid itself of something.

"Ok, let's…uh…let's get you to the bathroom, ok? You can at least lean on the toilet, yeah?" Zack looped one of Cloud's arms over his shoulders, grabbed onto the can, and stood up. He half-dragged his friend across the room, holding the trash can in front of him for any random bits of bile that were coming up along the way, and then lowered Cloud down next to the toilet.

Zack doubted that the kid even knew what was going on at that point. His face was dead white, soaked with sweat like the rest of him, and his eyes were rolling back. Zack had all kinds of training for dealing with blood loss, shock, and poison, but he had no idea what to do with this. Poison was probably the closest scenario, but he was pretty sure the cadet didn't need help getting anything out of his body.

He did his best to prop Cloud up with his back against the tub, resting his head on the toilet seat. Cloud must have been at least slightly lucid, because he threw his arms up on the seat, too. Satisfied that he wasn't going to fall on the floor, at least for a few seconds, Zack stood and pulled down a hand towel from the shelf. He ran it under cold water and then knelt back down, wiping Cloud's face and neck with it while putting a supporting arm around his shoulders.

The heaving was gradually slowing, reduced from body-wracking to hiccupping spasms. Cloud's blue eyes, previously foggy and unfocused, began to look a little more normal. Finally, Zack heard the opening of the door he had expected long ago. Hyde's short little steps stomped across the room and into the little bathroom, where both of his patients sat on the floor.

"What is the meaning of his?" Dr. Hyde demanded.

Zack scowled up at him. "Cloud's sick," he said, irritated at having to point out the obvious.

"And?" Hyde put his hands on his hips. "What does that have to do with you?"

"I'm not going to leave him like this," Zack said angrily, his arm still supporting Cloud's shoulders. "We're done testing today. And can't you do something to help him? There's something really wrong with him!"

Dr. Hyde snapped his mouth closed. "I'll…take a look," he said hesitantly. "As soon as he's…done…you bring him back to his bed. I'll be by later to check on him."

"No way," Zack snapped. "You need to check him out now. If he pukes a little on the sheets, you'll just have to have it cleaned." With that, he stood and picked up Cloud as if he were a child. Cloud didn't protest. His head rolled up against Zack's chest.

Hyde looked like he'd been forced to swallow something bitter, but he followed Zack back to Cloud's bedside. Zack laid his friend down gently, then crossed his arms over his chest and stared down the doctor. Dr. Hyde sighed and pulled out the few tools he had available on his person: stethoscope, thermometer, and penlight. "A little space, please?" he asked Zack.

Zack obligingly stepped back, but not far. He wanted to be able to see what Hyde was doing, because at the moment, he didn't seem like he had Cloud's best interests at heart. The doctor finished his brief examination and nodded, putting the stethoscope back around his neck. Cloud seemed at least coherent now, his eyes flickering between Zack and Dr. Hyde.

"His pulse is a little fast, but that's to be expected. He's probably a bit dehydrated. Pupillary reactions are normal and temperature is fine. He should be feeling better in a few minutes. Now, are you satisfied, Zack? Can we get started on your next test?"

"No," Zack said flatly. "I told you, we're done for today."

Dr. Hyde's eyes darkened. He looked beyond irritated now. If Zack were easily intimidated, it would have been a good time for him to back down. The two men locked eyes in a silent battle of wills.

"Zack," Cloud spoke up, his voice hoarse but otherwise sounding normal. "I'm fine. Just go do your test."

Zack's eyes shifted to him. "But you—"

"I said I'm fine," Cloud interrupted sternly. "I'm just gonna sleep for a little bit. I'll see you when you get back." He seemed to be trying to tell his friend something, but Zack didn't know what. In any case, he was clearheaded enough to manage by himself for a bit.

Zack sighed. Cloud was the only person for whom he would back down from a challenge like that. But after seeing that violent reaction to eating, he was feeling awfully guilty, willing to do just about anything to make amends. He pressed his lips into a tight line and looked at Hyde. "I'll do your test, but no more for him today. He needs rest."

Dr. Hyde looked triumphant. "Fair enough. Come with me, then."

Zack reached down and ruffled Cloud's hair. "I'll be back, kid," he said.

"Don't call me kid," Cloud muttered, pulling the covers up over himself.


It took approximately 3.5 seconds after the door closed behind the two men before Cloud was unconscious. Getting sick like that was worse than starving. It was exhausting. There were various other pains to replace the hunger pain, which rejoined them almost immediately afterwards. He no longer had the stores of energy to get through it, but his body tried to use them anyway.

The next time he opened his eyes, Zack was back, sitting on his own bed, watching Cloud sleep. "You know that's really creepy," he mumbled.

Zack smiled, looking relieved to see him with his eyes open. "Hey. How ya feelin'?"

"About the same as before," Cloud said, yawning widely. He stretched his arms above his head and then coughed dryly. "Oh. Gods. And ripe."

Zack laughed and stood up. "Yeah, you were really sweaty. Need help getting in the shower?"

Cloud snorted. "I'll manage, Wendy." He sat up and rubbed his eyes, stretching his legs off the side of the bed. Why did everything have to hurt so much?

"Hey now!" Zack protested. "I'm way more gentle than Wendy. I have dozens of witnesses who will testify—"

"Uh, no thanks. I don't need to see your little black book, Zack." Cloud got to his feet and lumbered unsteadily toward the bathroom. He knew exactly where his friend had been going with that statement.


Zack's smile faded as soon as the bathroom door closed behind Cloud. Although they'd defaulted back to their usual banter, he was still worried. Cloud's 'I threw up' statement didn't really cover what had happened that afternoon. That was more like a violent, full body war against lunch. The thought that had Zack kicking himself was that he should have known. Cloud had a tendency to downplay things when he was hurting. The weekend after the Honeybee should have been evidence enough of that.

They were both avid gamers, and most of Saturday morning had been spent on video games. Gladiators had been fun at first, but Cloud was probably sick of getting his ass kicked. Zack's reaction speed made him a formidable opponent at pretty much any game where speed mattered, and of course that was the only kind he owned.

"Let's go somewhere," Zack said suddenly, looking at his friend.

Cloud took the distraction as an opportunity to beat up Zack's avatar, but once he had destroyed the little pixelated man, he didn't hesitate to put down the controller. "Sure. Where do you wanna go?"

Zack grinned wickedly. "It's a surprise."

"No way," Cloud said, laughing. "Not after your surprise the other night."

"I promise, nothing like that," Zack said, standing up and digging in the front closet for his shoes. "It'll be fun."

Cloud sighed, but his smile was tolerant. "Fine. But if this turns out to be horrible, I'll never trust you to make plans again."

"Deal!" Zack said, tossing Cloud his shoes.

Thirty minutes later, Cloud looked up doubtfully at the building. "Cap'n Pirate's Bouncy Adventure?"

"Yep. Trust me, it'll be epic."

"Aren't we a little old for bouncy houses?" he asked skeptically as they went inside.

Zack looked at him like he'd uttered blasphemy and refused to dignify it with a response. They paid for their tickets and entered the arena, and sure enough, it was mostly young kids bouncing around with little foam swords in their hands.

The actual bounce area was huge, encompassing the entire room. Zack held out a foam sword to Cloud, who just looked at it and let it fall to the ground. "Not going to defend yourself?" Zack asked. *Thwack* He smacked Cloud with his own foam sword.

"Zack…" Cloud said. "Are you serious?"

*Thwack* " I never joke about swords." *Thwack*

Cloud finally picked up his silly little foam sword. He had do something to defend himself, didn't he? As soon as he picked it up, the chase was on. Zack took one more swipe and bounced away, flipping himself backwards, propelled several feet with the help of the bouncy floor. Cloud ran after him, but the unstable floor made running difficult.

"Come on, haven't you ever been in one of these?" Zack laughed, watching the blond wobble across the floor. "You can't walk, you've gotta bounce!"

After a few minutes, Cloud got the hang of the bouncing. It was actually thrilling, flying so high in the air. He laughed out loud and sprang at Zack, flipping over the top of him and pummeling his face with the sword as he passed. "Wha—hey!" Zack said.

Cloud gave an evil cackle as he landed behind Zack, flipping away as Zack took a retaliatory swipe. A few of the kids had stopped bouncing to watch the two talented swordsmen flipping around with ease, moving so fast that they were hard to follow. They were trying to stick to one corner to avoid trampling the smaller kids, and one particularly awestruck little boy stood in the very corner, watching with rapt attention. He was about the same age as the majority of the kids in there, but he was particularly small and had gotten tired of being pushed around by the other kids. Cloud held his hands up in a 'T' and gradually slowed his bouncing.

"What? There's no timeout in a sword fight!" Zack protested, giving him an extra undefended swat.

Cloud ignored him and made his way over to the kid in the corner. "Hey," he whispered, motioning for the kid to come closer. "Want to hit this big buffoon?" The little boy's eyes grew wider and he nodded emphatically. "Ok, climb up on my back. Then you take both swords and pummel him." The kid's shy smile became a gap-toothed grin. He climbed on Cloud's back and took both foam swords, his arms resting on the cadet's shoulders. "You ready?"

"Ready!" the kid whispered back.

Cloud bounced over to Zack, and the boy swung both swords wildly. Zack reacted dramatically when the first one hit him (and Cloud ignored all the accidental smacks he was getting to the face himself), throwing himself backwards onto the bouncy floor. But one bounce on his back and then he was up on his feet again. The little boy's cackle made them both laugh out loud.

"Not fair!" Zack bellowed. "If you get a champion, I get to choose one too! I choose…YOU!" Zack pointed at a little girl standing on the sidelines.

The girl pointed at herself and mouthed, "me?"

"Yes, you! If you're willing to accept the challenge, of course," Zack said, dropping to one knee in front of her.

"Yee-haw!" The girl yelled unexpectedly, jumping onto his back.

Zack burst out laughing and handed her his sword, narrowing his eyes playfully at the blond cadet and the little boy whispering furiously. "They're strategizing over there," he said to the girl on his back. "You got a plan?"

"Yeah," the girl said boldly. "Bounce over to them and hit a lot!"

"Solid plan," Zack agreed. "Alright, let's see if we can catch them by surprise." From his squatting position, Zack suddenly lunged up and jumped at the others. They were indeed taken by surprise, and the girl got a couple of good solid hits to Cloud's face before they bounced again, their momentum forcing him to jump over the top of Cloud and the boy.

The little girl's death grip on Zack's hair told him that it might have been a little too much for her, though, so he toned it down a little. He needed those hairs.

They played for hours, switching kids every 10 minutes or so, since everyone wanted a turn once they saw the first two kids riding the 'pirate ships'. Cloud laughed so hard that his stomach ached. It was a blast, until one particularly big boy jumped on his back. His legs were pretty tired already, but the kid deserved a turn, too, so Cloud stood up and bounced tentatively. He couldn't jump terribly high, and Zack and the girl on his back were wiping the floor with them, rapidly bouncing up, swatting him, and ducking away.

The smaller kids were able to lean and swing in any direction without impacting Cloud or Zack's trajectory, but this bigger boy was a different story. He lurched to the side to dodge a swipe and his weight pulled both of them over. Cloud tried to move his foot to catch them, but it landed wrong and they crashed to the bouncy floor.

The kid bounced on his side and landed harmlessly a few feet away, but Cloud was clenching his teeth in pain. Zack stopped bouncing. "You ok, man?"

Cloud nodded, but the color draining from his face and the corded muscles of his neck said otherwise. Zack gently lowered the girl to the ground. "Alright, that's enough for today. Thank you, young piratey lass," Zack said formally, bowing to her. She giggled and bounced away.

Zack made his way over to Cloud and the boy who was trying to climb on his back again, even though the cadet was sitting on his butt. "Not right now," Cloud said to the kid, softening it with a smile. "Pirate ships need breaks too."

The kid pouted and bounced off. "Seriously, you ok?" Zack asked.

"Yeah, it's fine," Cloud said dismissively. "Just landed on my ankle funny."

"Well, I don't know about you, but I'm starving," Zack said, helping Cloud to his feet. "Let's get out of here." Zack noticed that his friend was limping slightly as they reached the parking lot, but trying to hide it whenever he was looking. "Hey, we can go to the infirmary and have someone take a look at that," he said, eyeing the ankle of Cloud's pants.

"Ok, first? I said it's fine," Cloud said. "Second, I'm no longer enrolled here, so I don't think they're going to treat me in the infirmary." Zack looked at him skeptically. "Seriously, I'm fine," Cloud said. "Let's go get some food."

He was pretty good at hiding it, and Zack finally let it go. He might not have ever known how bad it was if he hadn't woken up in the middle of the night and found himself craving leftover pizza.

As much as Cloud had tried to pretend that he wasn't hurt too badly, he didn't believe it himself. How could he, with that giant purple thing glaring back at him? He was asleep on the couch, but had found himself a bag of ice (now a bag of water) and a pillow to prop his leg up.

"Holy hell!" Zack said loudly, and Cloud was startled awake. "I thought you said it wasn't that bad!"

It took a second for Cloud to figure out what Zack was talking about. "Oh, that," he said, sitting up and shaking his pant leg back over the top of the massively swollen ankle. "It isn't that bad. I just noticed that it was a little swollen, that's all."

"A little—" Zack's jaw dropped in disbelief. "Ok, you know what? Sephiroth has some cure materia." With that, he started toward the apartment door.

"Zack!" Cloud called after him. "It's the middle of the night!"

Zack paused with his hand on the doorknob. "Oh. Right. Yeah, he really doesn't like it when you mess up his routine." He spun back around to glare at Cloud. "Fine, but as soon as we wake up in the morning, I'm going over to get it."

"You don't need to bother him," Cloud said, looking down shyly. "It will get better on its own."

If there's one thing Zack should have remembered from that story, it was Cloud's stubbornness to show weakness or pain. So if Cloud looked like he was exhausted, he wasn't playing it up. In fact, he had probably been trying his damnedest to hide it from Zack, which meant that he was in even worse shape than he appeared.

*Thunk* A loud noise from the bathroom brought Zack to his feet. He walked closer to the door. "Cloud? Are you ok in there?" he called out.

No answer.

"Cloud? I'm gonna come in if you don't say something."

He waited a beat and then opened the door. The sound of the shower echoed through the steamy room. Zack grabbed the shower curtain and yanked it aside. Cloud was lying in the tub, blinking at the spray hitting him in the face, looking confused. "Zack?"

"Did you fall down?" Zack asked.

Cloud braced his arms on the sides of the tub to pull himself to a sitting position. "I guess I must have," he said, still looking lost.

Zack reached over and shut off the water. "Ok, let's get you out of there." It was impossible not to notice how damn skinny the kid had gotten, and the guilt stabbed at Zack. It wasn't as noticeable in his baggy scrubs, but still, Zack felt like he should have seen it sooner. He grabbed an arm and gently helped his friend to his feet. Cloud stood there shakily, and Zack didn't dare let go as he reached up to pull down a towel.

"I can walk," Cloud said, giving him an annoyed look as his friend helped him step over the edge of the tub.

"Yeah, well, you said you could shower on your own, too."

Despite the dirty look he was getting, Zack refused to let go until they'd reached Cloud's bed. He helped him sit down on the edge. But when he picked up the scrubs, Cloud snatched them away angrily. "Zack, please. I'm fine. I can get myself dressed without your mothering."

Zack held up his hands and backed away. Cloud did manage to get his clothes on by himself, but then laid back on his bed like the effort had worn him out. Zack scowled and stood up in front of the camera. "Yo! Send Hyde down here. We have a problem."

He figured the more vague he was, the more likely Hyde would come to investigate sooner. If he told him that Cloud was sick, he probably wouldn't bother coming at all. Even so, it was over half an hour before Dr. Hyde showed up, and by then, Cloud had fallen back asleep. He twitched slightly at the sound of the door opening, but didn't wake.

"Yes, Zack? What's the problem?" Dr. Hyde said impatiently.

Zack's brows lowered. "The problem is that Cloud isn't getting any food."

Hyde waved his hand dismissively. "We've been through this. He's just trying to get attention or sympathy or something. You've seen that he's getting food."

Zack put his hands on his hips and stood taller, looking down on the balding man. "Yeah, the times I've been here to see him eat, he gets really sick and can't keep it down. Have you even looked at him? He's lost like 10 pounds!"

The doctor sighed and glanced over at Cloud, then pulled Zack to the side. "Look, I don't know how to tell you this, but your friend is playing you. I spoke to the orderlies. They said he refuses to eat and sends back most of his meals uneaten. Then he's forcing himself to throw up when he has to eat in front of you."

Zack shook off his hand. "Why would he even do that? That doesn't make sense!"

"Because he has…some kind of psychological issues. I've been monitoring him closely, but I'm not sure how to get through to him. Zack, I'm afraid that we're going to need to put him on some kind of IV feeding."

Zack looked over at his roommate uncertainly. "Are you sure that's necessary? I mean, he wants to eat."

"That's what he says," the doctor said gently, "but his actions say otherwise."

"Maybe," Zack said, unconvinced.

"We'll have to restrain him," Dr. Hyde said gravely, "but he may still be able to get to it. Zack, it's up to you to convince him that it's in his best interest to leave the IV alone."

Zack ran his fingers through his hair. "I don't know. I don't really feel comfortable forcing him."

Dr. Hyde leveled him with a look. "If you truly cared about him, you would be able to make the hard decisions, even if it makes you uncomfortable. It's what's best for him."

Zack looked over at his friend again. He looked so fragile and exhausted. The doctor was right. He had to do what was best for Cloud. He set his jaw and nodded. "Alright, fine. I'll make sure he keeps it in. Just make him get better."


Cloud opened his eyes groggily. They were sore and scratchy. He raised an arm to rub them, but was halted with a loud clang of metal. Automatically, he tried the other arm, and the same loud clang banished the fog in an instant. His eyes opened wide, landing on the metal cuffs linking both wrists to the bars of the bed.

He sat up quickly, taking in the clear plastic tube running to the inside of his elbow. It looked just like the IV for the infusions, but why was he cuffed to the bed? He looked over at Zack, who was sitting on his own bed, watching him calmly.

"Zack! What's going on?"

"Don't worry," Zack said. "It's just some nutrients and calories and stuff, since you're having trouble keeping food down." His voice was calm, but for some reason he looked wary.

Cloud shifted uncomfortably. At the very least, he would hopefully get some strength back from this, but he was becoming aware of the ache pervading his body. "Oh. That's good, I guess," he said, grimacing. "But what's with the handcuffs? And…why does it hurt so much?"

Zack's brows furrowed. "What hurts?" he asked, ignoring the first question. "The IV?"

"No," Cloud said. "My body. It's like everything aches, but more intense. Like a really bad flu or something." Even as he said it, the discomfort increased, and he twitched and grimaced with the shot of pain flowing through his nerves.

Zack looked away. "It doesn't hurt, Cloud," he said softly.

"What?" Cloud was momentarily surprised enough to lose the pained expression on his face, but he couldn't keep it off when he next shot of pain made his whole body jerk on the bed. "Fuck, what is in this thing?" he gasped, looking up at the greenish fluid in the IV bag.

Zack's face hardened with resolve and he looked up. "It's something you need to get better. It doesn't hurt. It's just in your head."

"What?!" Cloud repeated, even more shocked to hear the rest of the explanation. "How can you say that?"

"I talked to Dr. Hyde. I know what you've been doing with your meals," he said gently.

Cloud gritted his teeth and tried not to react to the shocks of pain. "You already knew that, Zack. You know I've thrown up every time I've gotten food in the last two weeks, which is exactly three times." The next shock caught him by surprise, and he twitched violently. They were getting worse.

"Yeah," Zack said uncomfortably. "About that—"

"Ow! Damn it, Zack, help me get this thing out," Cloud said, jerking uselessly against the cuffs.

"No," Zack said firmly. "You have to leave it in, Cloud. It's the only way you'll get better."

"Zack, whatever this is, it isn't TPN. It—" he winced again. "It's really hurting me."

"TPN?" Zack asked, looking confused.

"It's not whatever Hyde told you!" Cloud said, losing his temper. He couldn't get to the IV with his other hand, but the IV line was in range of his mouth. He lunged for the clear plastic tube with his teeth, but Zack was too quick. He sprang over to his side and held the line out of his reach. "Damn it, Zack! Help me!" he cried, his face crumpling in pain.

The SOLDIER was obviously having a hard time watching Cloud struggling, but he shook his head resolutely. "I'm sorry, man. I can't let you pull it out."

The pain was intensifying. Cloud felt like his insides were being burned with acid. He struggled and fought against the cuffs for a few fruitless moments, then swung his feet around, catching Zack by surprise with a sharp kick to the jaw. It was pointless, he knew. He couldn't really hurt a SOLDIER with a socked foot, but at least he communicated his desperation. He had fallen half off the bed, his arms held above him by the rails. He squirmed and thrashed, turning his body to kick at Zack, who stayed just out of reach.

Feeling helpless and betrayed, every cell in his body burning, Cloud burst into tears. He stopped struggling, not even bothering to put himself back onto the bed. There was no getting comfortable anyway. Shame washed over him, but he couldn't stop crying. His body twitched and spasmed, but he had so little energy to begin with that soon he just let himself hang there, defeated.

Zack's feet moved into his field of vision. Cloud didn't react. He couldn't think about anything but the pain, and a familiar exhaustion was starting to wash over him. He felt muscular arms slip under his body, carefully lifting him up and settling him back on the bed. Zack's eyes hovered over him, swimming with guilt. "I'm so sorry. I can't let you take it out. It's for your own good."

The weakness was overwhelming. Cloud felt like his body was shutting down. When the darkness came, he welcomed it.