Trigger Warning:
This chapter and the next one will talk about
postpartum depression (PPD)
I have no experience with PPD but I have know some people who have..
If you have anything you'd like for me to change or add.
PM me. I'm always up for learning more about it, and how to make it more real.
The Next Day:
Melanie got settled in at the Harlan's. Rick and Maggie talked to the council, and Harlan agreed to let Negan stay with him, and Melanie to keep an eye on him. He also had to report and work for Rick.
Melanie was sitting on her queen sized bed, nursing the babies. Sarah and Ford where playing downstairs, she had finished her schooling lesson with them. Charity was sleeping in her toddler bed.
She laid the babies in the cribs, after they fell asleep, she laid back on the bed, and fell asleep herself, as Sarah and Ford crawled into bed with her.
Melanie woke up later, with herself soaked, she had bled through her mesh panties and her jeans. She groaned, getting up and walked to the bathroom cleaned up, and put on the mesh panities, cleaned the bedding, and her jeans. She put clean ones on, a clean sheet on the bed, changed the kids. She walked downstairs, grabbed an apple, ate. She walked upstairs hearing one of the kids crying, and tended to them. She grabbed them and went downstairs.
Melanie was sitting on the sofa, cuddling with the babies, and kids, She was reading a book as Sarah held it. Sarah was on her left and Ford was on her right, listening. Charity was playing on the floor with some shaker toys. Negan was busy with Rick and Harlan was at the infirmary.
Melanie finished nursing the babies, and worked on dinner. She was about one day postpartum, and feeling okay, and wanted to keep busy, but was also exhausted.
She kept food warm for Negan, and Harlan. She fed the other kids, and cleaned them up, put in pj's. She cuddled with them on the sofa, telling them a story until they fell asleep. She placed Charity, Sarah and Ford on the other sofa, the babies in bassinets sleeping. She grabbed a blanket covering the older kids, then grabbed a small throw blanket. She laid back and closed her eyes.
Negan came home, with Harlan. He walked over seeing the kids sleeping. Harlan looked them over also, and walked over to Melanie. "She's out."
"Best she sleep." Negan smiled slightly, and went into the kitchen. "She left us food."
"Thank goodness." Harlan smiled letting them sleep. He went into the kitchen and ate with Negan.
A while later Liam started crying, Melanie sighed, rolling over, she sat up and picked him up. "It's okay bubba.." She pushed her top down sat back and let him go to town. Negan was carrying the older kids upstairs to their beds, and came back down. "Still out." He smiled.
Harlan brought Melanie over some tea, and something to eat. "Eat up." He smiled, sitting on the arm of the sofa.
"Thank you." She said softly, she ate and drank her tea. She could barely keep her eyes open, she moved Liam off her chest, along with Lucy.
"Go to bed." Harlan smiled taking the babies. "Go get some rest. We got them." He kissed her cheek.
She smiled slightly, nodded, got up and went upstairs.
Negan came over and took Lucy. "She's milk drunk." He laughed and cradled her close.
"So is he." Harlan smiled, letting out a soft chuckle, holding Liam close.
They walked upstairs and got them settled.
Two Weeks Later:
About two weeks later, Melanie had been home alone for 5 days straight. She hadn't seen Negan nor Harlan in that time. Rick was gone with Negan and Harlan for a supply run. Maggie and Paul stopped by for a short visit, but felt guilty asking for help, she knew they were busy. They were all trying to get the walls reinforced better, along with supplies up to get ready for the winter. She hadn't been feeling so great, she was in pain the past few days, also she was worn down mentally. She kept the house picked up the best she can, she might of been slacking the last few days, the kids are fed and taken care of, but she just wasn't feeling like herself.
"Stop!" She snapped at Sarah and Ford, grabbing the toy truck from them and threw it across the room. "Just. Stop." She tried to refrain from yelling as her voice went hoarse. Sarah stopped screaming at Ford, as they fought over some toy truck. They had been fighting constantly for the past week. Melanie never yelled at the kids. They both froze, looking at her. Melanie rubbed her face. "I'm sorry sweeties.." she let out a shaky breath and sat down. "Come here.."
Sarah bit her lip, tears flowed from her blue eyes, as she slowly walked over to her mommy, and stood in front of her.
"I'm sorry, I yelled." Melanie said softly. "I didn't mean it. Mommy is just really tired, and hurting." She felt heartbroken she yelled at Sarah, and Ford. Ford slowly came over also listening. "Mommy didn't mean to yell at you either Ford. I'm sorry." She wiped his face, and Sarah's, then her own. She pulled them into a hug, and kissed them. "Just.. try not screaming and fighting today.." She said softly. "Please?" She knew that was an impossible thing to ask a 7 year old and 3 year old, but they were learning.
"Can you, go find some books, to read? Mommy's going to work on lunch." She smiled slightly.
Sarah and Ford hugged and kissed, then walked to get some books, and sat in the recliner. They had been fighting a lot lately, more since Negan and Harlan were gone. Melanie rubbed her face more, and got up. The twins were sleeping, Charity was playing on the floor with an old doll, that Melanie made from rags. She walked into the kitchen, pulled out the rice, beans, and seasonings. She cooked the beans and rice separately, mashed up the beans and mixed them into the rice with onions, seasonings, and diced peppers. She combined them all together, and formed them into patties, and fried them in pig lard, they had been saving. She let them fry, and portioned out how much rice, and beans they had left, and was writing down how many meals that would make, along with feeding 6 people. She had enough for two weeks worth of meals.
Winter was coming in a month.
They had 30 days until the first snow fell.
Paul stopped by earlier that day and said Harlan and Negan would be home for dinner at 6..
Melanie leaned against the counter, closing her eyes. She didn't hear Sarah coming into the kitchen.
"Mama?" she said softly.
Melanie sighed softly. "Yes honey?"
"I….Brother had an accident."
"Alright." Melanie sighed, turned off the stovetop, she went into the living room cleaned Ford up, got him in new clothes, while Sarah and Charity played on the floor. She finished with him, got up washed her hands, and tended to the food.
6 o'clock
7 o'clock
8 o'clock
9 and then 10 o'clock at night.
They were still not home.
She fed the kids at 8, got them ready for bed. Sarah and Ford were fighting her. She laid them down it was almost 10 PM at that point.
"Go to bed." She said placing them both in bed. "Goodnight." She kissed them. They were still screaming, and crying. She shut the door, and walked to the bedroom put Charity to bed, and fed the babies. It was close to 1130 when she finally heard Sarah, and Ford fall asleep. They twins were changed, nursed, and put to bed. She walked downstairs, left the two burgers on the table covered with a cloth, on a plate. She wrote a note, and went to bed.
Around 1AM Melanie was awoken by Sarah. "Mommy.. Ford sick… so is I.." Melanie turned over, sitting up, she just fell back asleep after fighting with the twins to go back to sleep after nursing. She sighed. "Get in the bathroom, both of you." She said softly. She changed the sheets on their beds, put newspaper down, and fresh sheets.
She cleaned them up, put them in new pajamas and got them back to bed. She wiped the vomit off the sheets and blankets, filled the large metal laundry tub with hot water, and started washing them, then rinsed. She went outside, hung them up on the line. She dumped the water, and walked back upstairs. Sarah and Ford woke up three more times that night throwing up. Melanie got up with them each time, and took care of them plus the bedding and washing. She walked slowly back upstairs glancing at the clock. It was 3:30AM.
Her whole pelvic area was in pain. She took some ibuprofen, checked on the kids again, fed the babies again, and finally, laid back in bed, and fell asleep..
Negan and Harlan arrived at home around 4AM.
Throwing up in the middle of the night, didn't stop Sarah and Ford from waking Melanie up at 6AM. Melanie sighed, rolling over. She got up and worked on breakfast.
She didn't hear Negan or Harlan come downstairs. Sarah and Ford where teasing Charity about her shirt. "Stop!" She said scolding them. They stopped and sat down looking at the floor. She turned back to the stove, sighing.
"Good Morning Beautiful." Negan said walking into the kitchen, with Harlan.
"Morning Honey.." Harlan said softly.
Melanie didn't turn away from the stove, she had eggs cooking. "Charity, Sarah, Ford. Breakfast."
They came running in, Melanie put a plate down for Sarah, Ford, and Charity along with grilled bread. "Three scrambled egg's and toast." She smiled at them.
The three kids prayed and started eating.
Melanie turned back around, threw the egg shells away, and put the pan in the stove. Negan and Harlan watched her. She didn't turn back around, just looked out the window, and sighed.
"Mel… the truck's broke down - " Negan said, getting cut off.
She still didn't say anything, she turned around, she was in tears at this point from the past week, and being in pain. She looked she hadn't slept in days, she had only gotten an hour or two each night, last night she got even less.
She just shook her head, and moved past him and Harlan. She went upstairs.
"Melanie." Harlan said stopping at the foot of the stairs.
"It's..Fine.." She stopped, looking at him and Negan. "I've been up for 5 almost 6 days with maybe an hour of sleep each night….The kids have been fighting nonstop. Sarah and Ford threw up 2 times last night, but are fine this morning. Charity is currently getting her molars in, and being really fussy and biting. The twins, my gosh. The twins are super colicky, and didn't sleep at all.." She felt like she was breaking from being overwhelmed and exhausted "I yelled, at the kids 30 times in the past 5 days, for stupid shit.." She ran her hands through her hair, and looked a them both.
She felt horrible for yelling at them. "I..I'm doing the best I can but it still feels like, a shitty job, and how much of a shitty mom I am…" She stopped, feeling her heart racing, also like she couldn't breathe, she gripped onto the staircase, and like she was going to be sick. She wiped her face, and forced a smile, looking at them, and continued upstairs.
Negan glanced at the kids who where done eating. "Go play." He said, he looked at Harlan. "She's not okay."
"No kidding." He sighed.
They heard a thud upstairs.
Negan ran up the stairs. "Shit." He muttered and picked up Melanie, who was holding her stomach, and awake. He saw her pants where soaked with blood, running down her legs. "Fuck...Harlan."
"Melanie, breathe it's okay." Harlan saw all the blood, and nodded. They moved her to the bed.
Melanie got laid back and just cried, while panicking. She felt horrible for feeling this way, and that she was frustrated with everything. "No.. I'm a horrible person." She managed to get out.
"Sweetness." Negan said softly. "You are not horrible...You've been through a lot for the past few days. I'm sorry we were gone for so long and left you alone." He wiped her face.
"Mel...It's okay." Harlan said softly, and felt how warm she was, along with being pale. "Lets get her to the infirmary." He walked to the bathroom to grab a towel to wrap her in. He stopped seeing the pads in the bathroom. He kneeled down and looked at them more closely. He frowned seeing how bad it really was. Negan picked her up and carried her downstairs while Harlan talked to her. "How many times have you changed your pads?"
She sat back on the bed, laying back. "Every hour...sometimes every half hour."
"You're bleeding that hard all the time?" He felt horrible he hadn't noticed before.
She gave a nod.
"Oh honey We will get you taken care of."
She sighed and nodded.
"Are you having pelvic pain?"
"Yeah." she rubbed her face and sighed. Harlan stopped Tara. "Go watch the kids please."
"W…" She frowned, and stopped seeing the blood. "Alright." She took off to the house.
Rick was heading to the infirmary to grab a bandage for his hand. "Whats wrong with Mel?" He frowned.
"I need IV supplies." Harlan looked at Negan, ignoring Rick's question.
Negan nodded and got the IV supplies and got her IV started, and on fluids, while Harlan examined her.
Rick walked over and looked at Melanie. "What's wrong honey?"
"Just…. Everything." She started crying.
Rick's face fell watching her break down. He glanced at Harlan. "It'll be okay honey."
Melanie's face twisted in pain and screamed, while he did an internal.
"She's got some placenta left in her." He said softly. He gave her an injection of pit to get her uterus to start contracting, and started removing the placenta. He tried to be gentle, and quick.
Melanie breathed and tried to not cry out, but it hurt like hell. Negan watched, and held her hand talking to her through it, Rick stayed also and held her other hand..
A while later, Harlan managed to get the small piece of it out.
Melanie pointed to the bowl, Rick grabbed it and she threw up in it, and laid back, looking at the ceiling. Harlan was pressing on her stomach hard still.
"Melanie." Harlan said pressing more.
"Mel…" Negan rubbed her face.
Melanie blinked and looked at Negan for a second, her eyes went back into her head as she started having a really bad seizure.
"Fuck!" Negan cursed, and talked to her while she had it.
Harlan stopped, stepping back letting her have it. "It's alright, just talk to her through it." He kept talking to her also.
After a few minutes her seizure stopped, and she opened her eyes slightly, she was really out of it though.
Harlan had to end up doing a D and C on her to get the last piece of placenta removed and to stop her bleeding, he then started her on antibiotics and let her rest, he also placed cool rags on her and they changed them frequently, and kept an eye on her temperature, and bleeding..
