A/N: I finally updated this! Hahaha sorry for being a lazy bum. I hope you people are still reading this and that you still laugh like old times.

Disclaimer: I don't own POT and the fanbook and their translations.


Chapter Eighteen: Pair Puri 6

Continuing from Zaizen and Sakuno's conversation, Ryoma was walking along the corridors to get ready for practice when he saw the two talking to each other in front of Room 218. He was about to head there and ask what's going on when suddenly, out of nowhere, he became a victim of a pitfall trap.

Ryoma deadpanned and thought while his lower body is stuck under the pitfall, 'Seriously? A pitfall trap made from cemented floors? Who the heck can make something like this?'

Suddenly, the door opened next to him and out came Niou.

Niou smirked, "You fell. It's well made right?"

Ryoma glared at Niou. He didn't notice that the room next to the pitfall trap was Niou Kingdom and who else would make a perfectly planned prank like this?

"Would you please stop placing pranks in camp, Niou-san?" Ryoma angrily said as he tried to get out of the stupid trap.

"No can do. Think of it as your training. Puri~" Niou smirked.

Just then, a camera snapped. Ryoma and Niou turned to look at Zaizen snapping a photo of the stuck Ryoma using his cell phone with Sakuno beside him looking at Ryoma worriedly.

"Are you okay, Ryoma-kun?" She asked.

"Which part of this makes me look okay? And Zaizen-san, delete that photo and pull me out instead of taking a picture. Please." Ryoma said with an annoyed expression on his face. He just woke up and this is what he gets?

~xoxoxoxo~

In Room 211 where Eiji, Oishi, Shishido and Choutaro are, a cell phone rings.

piro piro piroo~~~n

Oishi who was already awake at the time looked around the room to see where it came from while Shishido and Choutaro woke up from the sound.

"Eiji, wake up. Your cell phone rang." Oishi said, who finally found the source of the noise and shook Eiji.

"Nya?" Eiji groggily sat up and looked at his phone. Then he widened his eyes and laughed out loud.

"Hey, hey, look at this guys!" Eiji exclaimed excitedly as he held his phone up for everyone to see.

"Zaizen updated his blog saying ochibi fell into a pitfall trap made by Niou! It even has a picture! Hahahahaha!" Eiji laughed like there's no tomorrow.

Oishi, being the mother hen, asked, "Is he alright?"

Choutaro, being another worrywart, said, "I have bandages he can use if he needs it."

Shishido just sighed at his partner's kind attitude.

~xoxoxoxo~

While eating breakfast, most players looked at Ryoma with smiles on their faces. Ryoma, being the genius he is, already figured out what the reason was.

"Man, you really made our morning Echizen." Kenya laughed.

Because of Zaizen's dangerous updates, most of the players in the camp already followed his blog and the ringtone, 'piro piro piroo~~~n', would warn them that Zaizen updated his blog.

"I'm so glad I wasn't the victim this time." Marui sighed in relief.

"I was actually expecting you to fall for it." Niou said.

"Anyone could fall for that trap." Ryoma said.

"It was so well hidden and unexpected." Zaizen commented.

"Yeah. No one would even expect a pitfall trap made inside the camp." Sakuno added.

"But you two passed by Niou's room right? Why didn't the trap work before?" Eiji asked.

"Maybe Echizen is just too heavy?" Momo answered.

SMACK

Momo rubbed his head where Ryoma hit him while Niou answered, "Well it only works once the seventh person passed."

"Why seven?" Kirihara asked.

"Because there are seven days in a week." Niou answered.

"That makes no sense." Shiraishi commented.

"Everything in this fic makes no sense." Niou said.

"Me and Zaizen-san makes two. Who were the others who passed then?" Sakuno asked.

Kenya and Kirihara shuddered. Everyone noticed it and looked at them questioningly. Unknown to the others, they were the two who passed and their return trips make it four.

"By the way…" Zaizen suddenly said.

Everyone turned to look at him with confused expressions.

"I found this book under Kaidoh's pillow." Zaizen said as he raised the book up for everyone to see.

Everyone gasped. It was the fanbook that started this whole fanfic and stopped at Chapter Five because of lack of translations!

Kaidoh was the most surprised since he did find the book and hid it under his pillow only to be found by a dangerous person.

"Why were you snooping around under Kaidoh's pillow, Zaizen?" Kenya sweat dropped.

Zaizen looked at Kenya with a void expression and answered, "That's for me to know and you to not."

Everyone except the sadistic persons shuddered. Zaizen saying that with an emotionless face only makes it scarier!

Shiraishi sighed, 'When will we have a quiet eating time?'

Zaizen then began reading from the fanbook with his emotionless face.

Kaidoh Kaoru

Preferred Type: Someone who eats food like it's really delicious
Favorite Date Spot: Zoo (wants to see the polar bears)
Currently Most Wanted Item: New training equipment
Daily Routine: Roadwork, cleans his room
Something He's Bad With: Monsters, ghosts
Special Skills Outside of Tennis: General housework

Kaidoh blushed. Someone reading his profile out loud for the whole world to hear is really embarrassing for him.

"Nyahahaha!" Eiji laughed out loud for the nth time, "Kaidoh-chan will make a good housewife!"

"Who are you calling a housewife?" Kaidoh angrily shouted.

"Kyaa~! I would want Kaidoh-kyun to live with me~" Koharu said making Kaidoh shudder.

"Koharu! You're cheating on me again!" Yuuji whined.

"Like I always say, he always cheats on you. Just break up already." Zaizen said for the nth time.

"Still though, Mamushi's type of girl is weird hahaha!" Momo laughed.

"Shut up!" Kaidoh was about to throw bread on Momo's face when he was stopped by Tezuka saying, "Don't start another food fight, Kaidoh."

Kaidoh slumped down on his seat remembering the food fight incident.

Kirihara Akaya

Favorite Color:Primary colors

Something He's Bad With:Sanada-fukubuchou
Special Skills Outside of Tennis:
- Can eat a bowl of really hot ramen within 3 minutes
- Can fall asleep as soon as he decides he wants to

"Primary colors? Hahaha Akaya you're just too cute!" Marui snickered.

Sanada twitched at the mention of his name in the profile and glared at Kirihara who was looking back at him in fright while hugging his dear Catherine.

"His special skills, aren't special at all." Yuuta sweat dropped.

"Eating hot ramen in 3 minutes means you're just that hungry!" Kintarou said, "I do it all the time since I'm always hungry!"

"And you just like sleeping that's why you can fall asleep when you want. Just like Jirou here." Marui added.

"Don't make fun of my special skills!" Kirihara cried.

Common Questionnaire

What was your Christmas present last year?

Even though I asked for Wimbledon tickets last year, I didn't get them~. I wonder if Santa-san got mixed up? (Kirihara)

Most of the guys in the room stopped eating and sweat dropped.

Marui's snickering continued, "Too cute, he's just too cute. Hahaha!"

"He's beating Eiji-senpai in the cuteness category!" Momo commented.

"NOOO! I will not lose in that category, nya!" Eiji cried.

School Life

Kaidoh Kaoru

8:20 Cleans the teacher's desk, etc. on his day shift

Momoshiro: His cleaning is always excessively perfect. When that guy's on his day shift, he even makes the blackboard seem like it's sparkling.

19:00 Cleans his room, irons his shirts

"What a good kid." Shiraishi commented.

"Kaidoh can be kind of cute as well." Fuji said.

"Yeah, despite his scary face, his attitude is waaaay different!" Eiji commented.

"Just like our Akaya." Yukimura smiled.

Kirihara pouted, "I don't wanna be compared to someone like him."

Kaidoh vein popped when he heard that and countered, "Likewise here."

Commence death glare at each other.

Kirihara Akaya

6:40 Sleeps in late, rushes out of the house while biting into some bread

9:30 2nd Period: Mathematics (secretly texts)

10:20 Gets Jackal to look over his English homework during the 20 minute break

10:40 3rd Period: English (fast asleep)

Jackal: Even though I went through the trouble of looking over your homework, don't doze off! If your grades drop, I'm going to be hit by Sanada!

15:30 Cleaning Duty: Plays baseball with a broom and breaks a flower vase

22:30 Goes to bed without turning off the TV or lights

Sweat drops.

"What a troublesome guy." Ryoma muttered.

"I feel sorry for you Jackal though I don't really mean it." Marui said while rubbing Jackal's bald head.

"Would you stop that?" Jackal vein popped.

Suddenly, Zaizen raised the book up high for everyone to see the next part. It was in manga style entitled Jitaku 10: Jogging. It shows Kaidoh going jogging in the rain with his little brother.

"Well, at least Kaidoh-senpai's nice enough to train his little brother." Ryoma commented.

Just then, the doors burst open and Ryoga came in shouting, "I'm training you as well aren't I?"

"All you did was bully me when we were young!" Ryoma retorted and the brothers' quarrel continues.

Zaizen then showed the next, Jitaku 11: Akaya Angel Mode Plan. It shows Rikkai members riding a helicopter while wearing sunglasses.

"What the heck are the Rikkai members doing?" Kamio sweat dropped as they read the scene.

The next part shows Kirihara being shoved off the helicopter.

Everyone in the dining room gasped.

"They freaking shoved him off the helicopter!" Kai shouted.

"We can see that, Kai!" Hirakoba said, hitting Kai on the head.

"Rikkai's training is seriously scary." Eiji shivered.

Kirihara sniffed, "I know! I almost died that time you know!"

Then the scene showed where Atobe went to school on a Sunday.

Atobe spit out his coffee but like usual, he quickly composed himself and haughtily said, "Ahn~? I didn't know you were there seeing my rare mistake of going to school?"

Kirihara sweat dropped.

"Rare mistake? I believe you always make a mistake to come to school when there's no classes." Yuushi fearlessly said.

Atobe's eyebrow twitched, "Ore-sama suggests that you keep your mouth shut Oshitari."

"Monkey king is an air head huh." Ryoma smirked. Atobe vein popped. The kid is seriously getting on his nerves since Chapter Nine Episode Three.

Zaizen then raised the book once more showing Houkago no Oujisama where Kirihara and Kaidoh are shown interacting with each other. The first strip was Kirihara taking a picture of Kaidoh while he was playing with a cat who hates him.

Momo and Eiji burst out laughing.

"Poor Kaidoh-chin! Even though he loves animals so much, they hate him!" Eiji snickered.

Kaidoh frowned. It took all of his willpower not to start a food fight.

Kirihara: Geez, even though I said I was just kidding, how persistent. As expected of Mamushi.

Kaidou: Don't call me Mamushi!

Kirihara: Eh! What don't you like about Mamushi? It's poisonous, that's cool, isn't it?! It's a reptile, isn't it?!

Kaidou: Eh? Well ...

Kirihara: I get called Wakame Yarou, you know! It's not even an animal! It's a MARINE PRODUCT!

Kaidou:It's true that I'm not a marine product.

Kirihara: You-! This is where you're supposed to read between the lines and follow with something like "but seaweed is delicious, isn't it?"!

People in the room snickered.

"That nickname really gets on his nerves." Niou snickered.

"He said that Mamushi's nickname is cool? I can't believe this! Hahahaha!" Momo laughed out loud.

"They have so many similarities. Even in having a despised nickname." Yukimura smiled.

Kirihara and Kaidoh sighed, 'Why did that book show up again?'

Kirihara:Besides, your senpais seem kind over here, how nice. We have nothing but scary senpais at our place.

Kaidou:Really?

Kirihara:There's a senpai who doesn't get jokes and is super strict, right?

Kaidou:We have one too ...

Kirihara: And a senpai who seems to have ESP and is able to read your thoughts ...

Kaidou: ...

Kirihara:And a senpai who always seems to be smiling gently but is scary when angry.

Kaidou:It seems like we'd really get along ...

"The first ones are Sanada and Tezuka-buchou!" Eiji exclaimed with a laugh. Biggest mistake of his life.

SLAP!

"50 laps around the camp!"

Eiji jawdropped in horror, "I was just stating the truth! And it's such a nice morning too!" he whined yet went to do his laps while rubbing his aching cheek.

"Am I really that scary when angry?" Fuji smiled.

"Yanagi's the one who reads thoughts since he has this trademark of 'blah blah blah is what you will say.'" Marui said.

"Buchou is the one who seems to be smiling gently but is scary when angry." Jackal added.

Yukimura just smiled.

Next Generation Talk

Kaidou: It looks like he hasn't come. Che, as usual, that bastard lacks self-awareness.

Inoue: I see ... well, since it's a restaurant here, do you want something to drink while we wait? I wonder if I should get some soup.

Kaidou: Then, is it okay if I have the 100% Fruit Juice? ... even so, this is strange. That guy, he left the room before me saying "I'm going to the interview".

Inoue: I see. You guys are in the same room. I wonder where he could've gone, Kirihara-kun. It seems that there are some dangerous dogs around the area outside too ... I wonder if he'll be all right?

Kirihara: Cheers! Oh, it's here, it's here. Thank you, Uza Uza. You really helped me out.

Krauser: It was no problem. But Kirihara-san, why were you in the washroom?

Kirihara: But that was 'cause the interview place has RE-RE-REST-RESTO-something written for it.

Krauser: The place that you were in was the RESTROOM, Kirihara-san~!

Kirihara: Ah-, I thought it was strange for the interview to be in the washroom, hahaha.

Inoue: (Kirihara-kun, you really are bad at English, aren't you ...)

The players burst out laughing.

"He read the restaurant as the restroom? That's too funny!" Marui laughed like there's no tomorrow. He definitely is enjoying bullying the poor kid.

"Well sorry for not being good in English!" Kirihara pouted.

"Who in their right mind would do an interview inside the washroom anyway?" Kenya snickered.

"AHHH! Shut up!" Kirihara shouted, getting very embarrassed.

Yanagi: Inoue-san, our priority should be to let Sadaharu recover first. The method to cope with dizziness after a long hot bath is to drink some lukewarm soup, and then taking some Vitamin C should be effective.

Inoue: Thank goodness! I happen to have some cold soup! Let him drink this ... I wonder if the wakame (seaweed) in it contains any Vitamin C? Let Inui-kun have some wakame (seaweed).

Kirihara: *twitches* Wakame ... huh? Who are you calling "wakame yarou"! *more evil laughter*

Inoue: S-Shoot -! Even though I was that careful, I inadvertently spoke the word "wakame"!

Inui: Ka ... Kaidou, stop it. I've collected the data.

Kaidou: ... yes, Inui-senpai!

Inoue: Yanagi-kun! Isn't there something you can do to deal with Kirihara-kun!

Yanagi: When the situation becomes this out of hand, if I, Yanagi, had to say, it won't be easy to calm him ...

Inoue: H-How could that be? Just try anything!

?: What's this, I thought I could hear some really noisy voices from the outside, Kirihara-kun and the others, huh? Kirihara-kun's hair style looks just perfect even just out of the bath -. Really, you're pretty cool.

Kirihara: ... ha. Eh, really? Well ... that's 'cause I spent quite a bit of time fixing it up~!

Yanagi: Shiraishi!?

Shiraishi: Yanagi-kun ... It's tough to keep the Gontakure in order, it's the same no matter which school it is. Well, I'm also personally interested in how far Kirihara-kun can progress. We'll be on an united front for this matter.

Yanagi: Shiraishi ... sincerely, I'm indebted to you.

Kaidou: Inoue-san, let's use this chance to take Inui-senpai and escape!

Inoue: R-Right ... Inui-kun also has an interview soon. Let's carefully move him from here and take him to the Treatment Room!

Kirihara: Eh, you said "treatment", that's when they style your hair. There's a room here that can do something like that?! As expected of the U-17 Selection Training Camp!

Shiraishi: That's right! If you can fix up your hair there, Kirihara-kun, go make yourself even more cool than you are now. (That's way too much of a wrong guess, well, in these circumstances, anything is good.)

"What a messed up interview. We didn't even learn anything about them." Yanagi commented.

"Yeah, just when I thought I could gather more data. Those reporters are really useless." Inui said.

Sweat drops.

Marui laughed again, "Akaya mistook another word hahaha!"

Jackal sweat dropped at his partner, "You've been eating way too many sweets to make you this hyper Bunta."

"You're amazing, Shiraishi. You can really control our Akaya." Yukimura said.

Shiraishi scratched his hair, "It all started when we paired up for a doubles match."

"And buchou's used to it because of Kin-chan and Zaizen-kun." Kenya added.

"I'm not that much of a troublemaker." Zaizen muttered.

Words for the Two

Kaidou, I have countless newly developed Inui Juices I would like you to try out. Next time, won't you stop by my house? (Inui)

Kaidoh and the rest of the Seigaku regulars plus the people who know of the juice's powers shuddered.

Inui suddenly said, "Ah, I have that juice right now. Let me bring it out for you to drink."

"NOOO! Don't move another step Inui/Inui-senpai!" They simultaneously said.

Inui just tilted his head questioningly.

Kirihara-kun, your eyes are completely red! If it's fine with you, please use my eye drops. It's effective with bloodshot eyes. (Ootori)

"That's our Choutaro. Innocent and pure as ever." Shishido said, feeling proud for his kouhai with no reason.

"He's too innocent." Yuushi added.

Mamushi? Wakame? What, neither sounds yummy~! Eh? They're not food? (Kintarou)

Kaidoh and Kirihara vein popped. Kintarou tilted his head questioningly.

Shiraishi and the rest of Shintenhouji facepalmed.

"Here's another overly innocent guy." Kenya said.

Bandanna-kun, give me that bandanna. A~n, don't be so rou~gh! (Koharu)

The temperature in the room dropped. Kaidoh face planted on his food.

"Koharu! Are you seriously replacing me for that guy?" Yuuji whined.

"I told you guys to just break up." Zaizen commented.

Akaya! In this training camp, you're going to wake up together with me at 4 every morning! I'm going to take this opportunity to fix your bad habit of oversleeping! (Sanada)

Kirihara's face fell.

"NOOO! I don't like this at all! Let me sleep a good 10 hours of sleep!" He cried.

"NO! You will be running with me every morning! We shall fix that bad habit of yours!" Sanada scolded him.

The rest ignored them and continued.

Oi, Kirihara! If you're a man, don't make such a fuss over one or two hairstyles! That's shameful! (Shishido)

Kirihara vein popped, "How bout you try having a seaweed hair, you ass!"

"What did you say?" Shishido shouted.

"I'm still not done talking to you Akaya!" Sanada interrupted.

"NOO! I don't want to wake up early!" Kirihara whined.

"I dare you to call me an ass again!" Shishido shouted.

The rest ignored them and continued.

Akaya, if it's you, you'll be able to lead Rikkai. Good luck. You'll return my 100 yen before graduation, won't you? (Jackal)

Kirihara dead panned and shouted at Zaizen, "Why are you reading mine only? Read messages for Mamushi too!"

Jackal said, "When will you return my 100 yen, Akaya?"

Marui said, "It's just 100 yen, Jackal. Let it go."

"Yeah! What senpai said!" Kirihara said.

"I'm still not done talking to you Akaya!" Sanada interrupted.

"I'm still not done as well!" Shishido added.

"When will you two stop talking to me?" Kirihara shouted.

I can't decide if I want to get a nice perm like Kirihara-kun's. What do you think? (Shiraishi)

This time, Tomoka and An reacted, "NOO! Don't do it Shiraishi-san! Don't do it for the fangirls!"

Shiraishi just tilted his head questioningly.

Kaidou-kun, look, you need to smile more, smile more! Kirihara-kun, if you hit things like that, the bowls are gonna fall~! (Sengoku)

T/N: Sengoku could also mean that "luck" will fall

Momo laughed, "If Mamushi smiles, the world will end!"

"What did you say, peach head?" Kaidoh shouted.

"I said the world will end if you smile!" Momo vein popped.

The rest ignored the shoutings and continued.

You're a fun guy to mess around with. Let me be straight, the one who came up with "wakame yarou (seaweed bastard)" was Yagyuu. (Niou)

"So it was you! You started it all!" Kirihara shouted.

"We're still not done talking to you!" Sanada, Shishido and Jackal shouted. Kirihara flinched and sweat dropped, 'Why me?'

It looks like Koharu is aiming for you, but I won't hand Koharu, who has synchronized with me in shoujo glory, over~! (Hitouji)

"Seriously, just break up." Zaizen mentioned for the nth time.

Heeey, Akaya. I totally saw that you snuck in candy with you! Let me have some too. (Marui)

Marui smirked, "Oh! It's my turn to 'talk' to Akaya!"

"Please senpai, don't add yourself in this argument!" Kirihara begged but Marui didn't listen.

I accidentally saw Kaidou-sempai getting ignored by Karupin while strolling... this was actually the fifth time. (Ryoma)

"Poor Kaidoh-chin! Animals really hate him nya!" Eiji snickered.

"But you don't hate him?" Kintarou asked Eiji.

"Eh? Why would I hate him?" Eiji tilted his head.

"Aren't you a cat? Zaizen told me that you're really a cat in human form." Kintarou explained.

Eiji sweat dropped and glanced at Zaizen who was looking away and whistling innocently.

Suddenly, the door opened and out came the circuit coach, Tsuge Ryuuji!

"What are you all still doing here? Start practicing now!"

"SIR YES SIR!" Everyone shouted and scrambled to get outside.

Ryoga who was left behind then noticed something on top of one of the tables.

It was a book titled, "Pair Puri Volume Seven."