Equanimity, Chapter 7

Dawn was smart, funny, uncharacteristically gifted in most forms of style, fashion, presentation, and loyalty. Her confidence was unwavering, her assurance unnatural-but never, never had she thought she would be in this situation.

Slowly, her crystal blue eyes darted to her right, where beside her, she could hear the quiet snore of her glaring mistake. Yep, mistake. She wasn't ashamed of it, this was her mistake. Completely. Slipping out of the covers, she pushed the fabrics of the comforter to her waist before climbing out into the cold air of the cheap motel room. The air hit her nude body like a whip as she shuddered, pawing around the floor for her underwear, and then her clothes.

May and Drew were probably worried because she didn't come back last night. They were supposed to meet at the park when he appeared once again. Dawn hadn't even planned to talk with him, but as most terrible decisions started, she couldn't just leave him alone.

So, now she was here. Somehow it ended up this way and she was still trying to wrap her head around it while she pulled on her clothes. He kissed her, and now they were here!

Stupid, stupid, stupid! Dawn barked in her mind while tugging on her boots. The sun hadn't even broken over the horizon yet, but the terrible room didn't have any form of clock to see the time and she wasn't completely sure where her bag was.

After getting dressed, she tripped along the barely illuminated walls, trying to find a chair, or something, feeling relentlessly for her yellow back pack. In the end, she found the pack tossed beside the door—but she couldn't say that was a surprise at all.

"Dawn?" the strangled voice rose from the bed where she had quietly slipped away only moments ago. She didn't make a sound, hoping that if she didn't move, didn't speak—he would fall right back to sleep. She saw the squint of his dark eyes as he moved to sit up, and realized playing statue wasn't going to work.

Her voice ran cold in her body and she shuddered when he spoke next, groggy. "What are you doing...?" He mumbled, rubbing his eyes in a way that was simply not his normal appearance.

Her voice left her, shaking and cold as she grabbed the door knob, panic racing into her chest. "I uh..." She started, swallowing hard. "...made a mistake." She hummed quickly, and threw open the door and ran.

Dawn wasn't even sure that she closed it on her exit, she was simply gone.

XOX

"So, where were you last night?" May chimed from their shared washroom, where Dawn had just cleaned up. Dawn was frantically applying foundation to her face, hiding her puffy eyes, while May watched with raised eyebrows.

Dawn didn't immediately reply, she had to think, and being as sleep deprived as she was, she wasn't doing a great job. She had to lie, but needed to be smooth. May wasn't always the brightest bulb in the box, but she had a way of knowing when people were being honest. Dawn couldn't say that she spent the night with Paul, and then ran away to sit in a diner, then panicked and called Ash all the way in Kalos for validation. She couldn't say that Paul confessed to her, or that she lead him on, or that part of her felt guilty. She also couldn't say that she was confused, or tired, or completely unsure with how she was feeling; or why she acted the way she did.

"I was up late talking to Zoey, and sort of lost track of time." Dawn tried to answer as modestly with her nose crinkled. "I came back pretty late."

"Late?" May chuckled, pulling her hair into a low pony-tail. "I heard you coming back at daybreak."

"Really? Man.. I must have just blanked out at the diner." She blurted out while applying a moderate amount of eyeliner and mascara. Perfect winged liner matched her straight hair once she let the damp strands fall back from the clip they were tucked away in.

"Why were you up so early?" asked Dawn.

May shrugged. "I don't sleep that great sometimes..." she trailed off, not wanting to focus on her own problems. Narrowing her bright, blue eyes, May crossed her arms, and leaned against the large counter.

"You were talking with Zoey... all night...at a diner?"

"You know, I don't give you the third degree when you're out all night." Dawn snapped, throwing up her hand.

Realizing she had apparently stepped over the line, May put up her hands and nodded. Quietly she backed away, allowing Dawn to brush out the wrinkles in her pink dress, and adjust her tights with a scowl over her pale features. Exhaustion made her snappier and hostile. Plus, she still hadn't given herself the time to think, believing that the show must go on. Eventually, she'd have a bed to lay in, and could wallow in it, then.

Part of her thought she should have pretended to be sick, but another part knew that was the same as admitting defeat.

However, being rude to May wasn't part of that so against her ego, she threw down her arms, and walked into the next room where May was getting her day-pack ready. They were going out to watch trainers, and practice some moves before their next contest, and Dawn was being a jerk.

"Sorry. Clearly I didn't get much sleep."

"It's alright." May smiled, at the lackluster apology. "I'm not the greatest when I'm sleep deprived, either."

Dawn sat at the small desk in their shared room, and rubbed her arms. Earlier, when she was in the shower, she tried to scrub away the feeling of his hands on her body, but she still felt the intense rush. The coarseness of his palms. Shuddering, Dawn had to get out of her own mind, so she nudged to May.

"So..." She started, earning a look from May, who narrowed her eyes. "...Can I ask you a personal question?"

"Sure." May smiled warmly, sitting at the edge of her bed, directly facing Dawn. She loved having these kinds of talks; girl talks though Dawn wasn't usually interested in her own problems. Dawn liked gossiping, she used to love sitting up with May, guessing who Ash would 'end up with' before realizing that May had a very short-lived crush on him. Really, Dawn enjoyed asking anyone else about their life, before talking about her own.

Her mouth twitched into a smile.

"...Have you ever... you know, freaked out, after you and Drew did it?" Dawn gestured with her fingers when saying 'did it' to imply the greater meaning. Somehow, it still took a few minutes to settle in May's mind, because she stared for along time, then a red blush crept up from her neck, and nestled onto her cheeks.

"We've never done it!" May shouted, covering her mouth, knowing that Drew was in the building somewhere. She glared at Dawn. "Why would you ask me that?!"
She asked because May spent an unprecedented time alone with Drew in the last few weeks. They were always a hand-length away, and they slept in the same bed, and went to sleep at weird hours! Apparently, she read that situation wrong. Strike two for Dawn.

Dawn put up her hands and muttered an apology. She wasn't expecting the embarrassed response from May, but then again, May's relationship made her weirder, if possible. While at one momnt she seemed emotionally wrecked and tired; if someone mentioned Drew, she turned into the same, giddy woman she grew into.

"I just... I wanted to know, you know?"

"No!" May screeched, face getting redder when Drew stumbled in because of the shouting.

"Everything okay in here?"

"It's fine!" May shrieked, not looking back at him while he bravely decided whatever the two of them were discussing, he wanted to be no part of, and retreated back to the entrance of the pokemon center—probably dealing with a bill, and getting breakfast. May hotly turned back at Dawn, wagging a finger.

"What kind of girl do you think I am!?"

Focused on May's finger moving, Dawn let that phrase sink into her chest, and settle there like a giant weight.

"I didn't think anything, you two seemed so close, I wanted to know how things were going." Dawn faked a smile, faked the sweet tone of voice, and May was so freaked out, she didn't notice. Instead, she sighed, and held a hand over her chest while Dawn closed her eyes.

"There hasn't been a 'good' time yet... and besides, he hasn't met my parents officially, and there's been all this stuff that I'm trying to deal with... It just... hasn't been a good time." explained May, who exhaled breathlessly.

Dawn pursed her lips, trying to shift the focus from sex to May's turmoil. "What are you dealing with?"

May blinked and met Dawn's eyes. Light blue met dark blue, and they reached a stalemate. Dawn had an increasing feeling that something was bothering May, but never found the strength to ask. However, if the woman was willingly opening up about the situation, Dawn wouldn't back away.

Except, May would.

"It doesn't matter, we should probably get going."

Before Dawn could pry, or investigate further, the brunette turned away, grabbed her backpack and was out the door, leaving Dawn behind. Dawn considered sitting there for awhile longer, getting her thoughts together and forcing out the assumption she thought What kind of girl was she?

Sometimes May really knew how to drive a point home, even if it was unintentional. If Dawn told May about Paul, would she ask Dawn the same question? Did Ash and Misty also believe that of Dawn? That she was a floozy because she slept with Paul? ...Did Dawn believe that of herself?

Did Paul think that?

Suddenly, the small breakfast she had at the diner wasn't sitting well, and with knots in her stomach, she followed May's footprints to the entrance of the pokemon center. She greeted the two of them with false smiles, the same enthusiasm to continue their travels, all the while ready to projectile vomit with her ears ringing. The sun made the beads of sweat rolling off of her forehead feel like ice and she shuddered at the cringing sensation forming through her gut into her spine and up her back.

Drew and May carried on their usual conversation, as if May hadn't just shoved a stick of truth into Dawn's stomach. The only incident that could make matters worse was...

"Paul!"

No... Dawn thought bitterly, her eyes connected with the person May waved happily at. The universe loathed her. Punished her.

There he was, standing in all of his glory, a stoic—no, wait—he was as surprised to see Dawn as she was of him. Of course, they both should have considered that the pokemon center would be the place they would run into one another. After all, they're both trainers. Based on the expression she read on his face, he wanted to see her about as much as she wanted to see him.

Suddenly, she could taste the bile at the back of her throat, and between May's ramblings and Drew's concerned look... Dawn twisted her hips and took a long stride in the opposite direction of the stunned Paul, and she didn't look back, even as May and Drew called back to her.

XOX

Drew and May were thankfully, smart enough not to bother Dawn about her response ot seeing Paul.

In May's own words: he probably did something stupid again.

And in Drew's own words: that's because he's an asshole.

Both of them were completely wrong, but Dawn didn't have the strength to correct them. She wanted to say that it wasn't Paul's fault, reiterating what Misty told her about Paul not being a terrible person just because Dawn regretted getting frisky with him. He could have simply been having a bad day... made worse by Dawn. His eyes weren't the stoic pools she grew used to, but regret and anger pooled in his eyes. Dare she say it, but she thought she could see the hurt and disappointment. Then again, maybe she was self-projecting.

Yet, according to May, he was scowling like usual. Dawn had nothing to worry about. Perhaps it was all in her head, and Paul wasn't here or there.

Ahead of her, Drew and May practiced their strategy and outfits for their upcoming tag-team battle. It wasn't very often that Drew participated in normal contests, since he was a Top Coordinator of Johto, but for the sake of his girlfriend, he was taking a plunge.

Before Drew mentioned the idea to May, Dawn considered joining the event with the young woman herself. They always had great chemistry on the field and if May was stuck in a rut, Dawn wanted to help to.

Unfortunately for the rest of them, Dawn was still doing her best not to vomit.

"Why can't we do what I want to do?" May whined, bringing Dawn back to the couples' conversation.

"Because... and no offense, May, but you haven't been making it through the preliminary rounds. This is for practice, remember? You're trying something new."

Bashful, May gestured to the plans, then to beautifly above her head, and then back to the plans.

"But we aren't using her full abilities."

"You don't always have to." Drew argued in an attempt to remind May that contests were not battles. There was more to them than showing off how powerful a pokemon was. All the while, trying to be rational, because as of late, May tended to stray on the side of psycho when it came to contests at all. Dawn sort of felt sorry for the two of them.

Unfortunately, Drew may not have been subtle enough, because May hissed and tore out of her seat.

"C'mon, beautifly, let's go somewhere where you will be appreciated." She grumbled during her storm off while Drew leaned back and cupped his face in his hands. Dawn curled her fingers around her skirt, and tried to think of something to say. However, watching them go back and forth at this for an hour was also grating on her nerves.

"May..." Drew finally sighed, stepping away from the table while gathering their battle strategy. "Wait up! Don't be so over dramatic!"

As Drew shouted and ran away, leaving Dawn and piplup behind, she finally eased her head onto the wooden table, and sighed deeply.

Usually, she would have tried to help the two of them, tell Drew he was clearly pushing her into an area of discomfort when May was used to having a safety net. He was also being a bit of a jerk by shooting down all of her ideas, even if some of them weren't great. That's why working together and being in a relationship could be tricky. More disagreements meant more arguing, and arguing stressed Dawn out as a viewer, she couldn't imagine being in a situation where someone argued with her all the time.

Maybe Drew should seek council with Ash—but that would probably open a whole different kind of wound in the shape of 'my girlfriend used to have a crush on you'. Dawn sat up and took her phone out, smudging her make up with her wrist.

"Hey, Ash, how are you?" she typed interestingly, while smacking her lips.

"I'm fine. Waiting for Misty to call to say she made it back to Cerulean City. How's life for you? Everything work out with you and Paul?"

Dawn surprised herself when she chuckled. Of course she wasn't going to talk about Paul, or how she was feeling over text with Ash, so instead, she ignored the questions.

"She didn't leave because of me, did she?"

"No, something with her sisters."

When he didn't add anything more, she started typing again, then deleted the message. Then, she started again, then stopped again. Eventually, she put her phone down beside her, and put her head down on the table as piplup curled at her side.

Suddenly, she was very tired. To the point she couldn't keep her eyes open, despite the warm, Hoenn sun raining down on her back. Perhaps if she rested for a few minutes... she would be more willing to work through her problems—or maybe, the dread feeling in her stomach would be gone after a decent sleep.

Maybe...she would feel better.

XOX

Dawn didn't feel better when she woke up, in fact, she probably felt worse, knowing that her shoulders, arms, and the back of her neck were bright red from a sun burn. Even piplup's white fur was burned slightly, and was the reason she woke up. He started complaining, and sprayed water before high-tailing it back into his pokeball.

Now soaked, sunburned, and alone in the park; Dawn finally believed she hit rock bottom. Perhaps that was just the headache talking. The only thing to make it worse, would be to start drinking, and she would be lying if she said that didn't cross her damn mind. Pinching the bridge of her no se and trying to collect herself, she glanced at her phone to read the time.

6:45... She had been out here for well over half the day, brilliant. Her last message was from Ash, asking if she was okay, right before she fell asleep. Apparently, thinking too much about her problems was so mentally draining, she couldn't even stand to be in her own mind, and had to check out to a dreamless slumber in the middle of a park.

Weirdly enough, she wondered more if anyone saw her asleep, than the fact that her neck and arms hurt. May and Drew were probably looking for her—or not. Who wouldn't check the last place they were all together? Then again, Dawn also snapped on May earlier today about prying into her business, so, more than likely, the duo wanted to give Dawn her space.

Which was fine, except the sun was fading now, and she was still a few minutes away from the pokemon center... Then again, maybe staying in the park to watch the stars wasn't such a horrible idea. It was peaceful out, and she could sit without anyone else bugging her. In the end, Dawn decided to move under a bench beneath a tree, but stayed outside.

She read over Ash's message again, then thumbed over the fact that Misty was at the Cerulean City gym again, and decided to look up her number in a quick google search. There were two listings for the Cerulean City gym, but the first didn't answer.

The second, however, answered right away.

"Misty Waterflower speaking." Direct. Just like the red-head, who ran the gym.

"Hey, Misty... It's Dawn... I hope I haven't caught you at a bad time."

A small pause, then shifting, and Misty answered with: "Not at all, I was just watching some television and waiting for Daisy to call me back... Is everything okay?"

Made sense why she answered so quickly she was already waiting for a call. Dawn froze a bit, and shifted her legs beneath the bench and pursed her lips, wondering what to say. She wasn't all that close to Misty, and talking to her was by accident because she meant to talk with Ash, however, she seemed to know a lot more than Ash about the subject, and didn't get so angry.

"Can...I talk to you about Paul?"

"Uhmm..." There was the uncertainty. "...I guess so?"

Then, when Dawn couldn't think of what to ask, Misty started.

"Are you really okay?"

"Yes, I'm okay." Dawn answered. "...but I'm just... confused, is all."

"Let's start there: what are you confused about?"
"Why I did it... and secondly, how I feel about myself now that I reacted the way that I did." Dawn sighed, brushing her hair from her face. "I feel really disappointed in myself."

"Why?"

"...Maybe I wasn't ready?" It came out more as a question than a statement. "Or maybe...I just feel ashamed of what I did."

"Oh, Dawn." Misty snapped, "Don't do that to yourself. You shouldn't be ashamed. It's not like it's a badge of honor, or your most defined trait. My sisters always said embrace your sexuality if that's what you want. It was never for me, personally, but it's not something you should be ashamed of. No one should tell you what you can and can't do with your body."

"Then why do I feel this way?"

"Well... I'm not you, so I can't tell you why you feel anything... but I can tell you, that if I were in your situation, I would feel guilty about my conflicted emotions, but not because of my actions."

Misty immediately followed it with: "Do you like Paul?"

"I mean, as a friend, I guess."

"Then why did you let it go so far?"
Dawn waited, hoping that the answer would come to her, but her reasoning felt more wrong the longer she thought about it.

"I guess... maybe I hoped that it would spark something else inside of me. Make me yearn for him—I mean, he's easy enough on the eyes, and I'd be lying if I said it hadn't crossed my mind but... After we finished...and you know... he said he loved me, it brought back all these horrible encounters we've shared over the years. The million times he blew me off, forgot my name, called me names..."

Dawn wasn't done, though, the knot in her stomach started to twist, and she felt like she was suffocating if she wasn't talking.

"How bad he treats people, how different his views on training pokemon are. He used to be so rude to Ash, Brock and myself, and that didn't really change until the last few years and... The two weeks we traveled together, I dragged him around with me, and he was miserable. I forced him to go into malls, and public events... and while I tried to tell myself I was having fun... I... I think I was trying too hard."

Then, Dawn started crying again, and she covered her face with her hands. "But it's like you said, I lead him on. I pretended that-" And before she could control herself, her words fell into sobs and tears raced down her face uncontrollably.

Misty was an angel, though, because she didn't remark—didn't call her names, barely reacted.

"It's okay, Dawn." She assured in a calmest voice, and it was no wonder that Brock used to compliment Misty's 'mother-like' traits while regarding that he missed her during their travels, mostly when Ash would throw a fit.

"No it's not." Dawn wailed.

"It is. You can't make yourself love someone... and further more, your partner shouldn't be someone you have to fix. They aren't a project, and it's not your job to fix them." While it brought some comfort to Dawn to hear that, as she was now the second person to refer to Paul as a 'project', doubt still swirled in her mind.

"Then is it me? Am I the horrible person?"

"No."

Dawn brushed her hand over her face, sighing. "Then why do I feel like this?"

"Because you're a good person, that made a mistake." This stopped Dawn's tears, and she heard Misty mute her television in the back before she continued speaking.

"When Ash and I were being stubborn and oblivious, for a lack of better words—who stepped in?"

Dawn sniffed, "I did."

"Correct. And when the group of us were taken by Team Rocket, who willingly jumped head first to help everyone?"

"...Well, technically all of us."
"What I'm trying to say is, you have wonderful intentions, Dawn, like Ash said, you're a good person... but you're also very bull-headed, and you may not always think things through. What you did with Paul happened, and you can keep beating yourself up over it, or you can learn from this, and move on." replied Misty, and the words hit Dawn like a roller coaster. She leaned forward, curling her fingers into the wooden bench, trying to ignore the pulling sunburn at her back.

"Move on how?"

"That's something you have to decide." Misty answered flatly, and the silence grew once more while Dawn stared into the now dark forest before her. Where did she go from here?

"Do you think that someday I'll find a relationship like yours?"

Misty snorted, "I hope not." but she laughed, shaking her head. "No, I'm kidding. You will. Just don't... rush into things so much."

Dawn chuckled. "I'll try not to."

"Hey, uh, thanks for listening to me. If you ever need anything, let me know." Dawn said, wiping away the last of the tears from her eyes while Misty sighed on the otherwise.

"If you have an Ash-translator, that's be great. But no, it's all good. I'm glad you called, and hopefully I managed to help."

Smiling, Dawn said: "You did, but I know that this is something that I have to figure out on my own."

"You're gonna be okay, Dawn." Misty paused, and Dawn thought she was going to add more, but instead she snickered. "I will talk to you later, stay out of trouble."

"Will do. Thanks."

That's what I want. Dawn thought, staring down at her phone once the conversation was closed. She wanted someone supportive, at the very least. She wanted something like Misty and Ash had, or like Drew and May... she wouldn't get that by jumping into the first relationship that would accept her. Yes, she felt terrible about how the situation with Paul went down, but she had to accept it. Move on.

Move on was a big step, and part of Dawn thought that the best way to do that, was to literally move. Jumping from her seat, she made quick decisions. She already had her five ribbons to compete in the next festival in Hoenn—which meant until that happened, she could move on. Venture to new horizons until the grand festival. Then, she could come back, and kick butt, and then repeat the process until she reached her goal of Top Coordinator.

After that, who knows where she could be? Maybe she's become a model—she did enjoy the small stint she had modeling with buneary. Marketers were always looking for new talent and honestly, what did Dawn have to lose? The sky was the limit!

This wouldn't stop her, this was normal behavior. She did nothing wrong... she probably owed Paul an apology but...her enthusiasm died the moment she thought of his name, and her trot turned into a slow, sluggish crawl.

Dawn took out her phone, but remembered that Paul was 'too cool' for a phone. Personally, she thought he didn't know how to use one. Huffing, she pushed her head up, and trekked back to the pokemon center in the dark, avoiding people the best that she could. Since it was dark, the city lights came alive, and sparked excitement through its citizens. People were bustling through the shopping districts and running many battles in the streets. Dawn loved Hoenn region for this reason.

It was a shame that this would be one of the last days that she stayed here... Dawn wondered if May would be okay without her.

Caught in her thoughts, Dawn nearly missed Paul, who was exiting the nearest pokemon center as she walked by. He didn't see her, or at least, she didn't think that he saw her, because he didn't stop. He was packed up, and ready to leave town, if the backpack meant anything. Off to the next gym badge. For a moment, she was going to let him walk. Be free without confrontation, but she couldn't stop herself when she reeled around, and shouted after him.

"Paul!" She called, watching his entire body go rigid and stiff. He exhaled quietly, and turned to her, standing just off the sidewalk, with her hands balled into fists. He didn't speak, but his eyes narrowed and his lips twitched into more of a frown when she approached.

"Can we talk?" Dawn offered, but at that, he did take a step back.

"No." he said blatantly, which was fair.

"Please... I just wanted to say that I'm sorry about what happened..."

Paul scoffed, "Why? So you can feel better about a mistake that you made? Pass."

"I'm trying to be nice." She offered, though the fact that he threw the word mistake back at her made her heart sting.

"No, you're trying to relieve yourself of guilt." Paul hissed when he spoke, and turned away from her. "Don't worry, as far as I'm concerned it never happened."

"Never happened? Don't be ridiculous." she shouted though Paul started to walk away, when he didn't stop, the rage boiling deep at the back of her throat started to spill out. Her blood ran cold and she stomped her right foot into the ground.

"This is why I left! You do this constantly! You could barely remember my name until years after we met!" She screamed, earning concerned looks from the occasional person passing by, but nothing that anyone stopped for. Paul didn't flinch, simply kept on walking.

"You're mean, and cold and you've been nothing but a jerk! You said you loved me but you don't know what love is!"

Dawn thought that maybe, just maybe, he flinched, but if he did, it was temporary, and he moved without hesitation. Kept his stoic, emotionless posture, and walked away. Dawn threw a fist down and tore her eyes away while stomping away with a hair flip.

There was a reason after all, that when she left Sinnoh, they didn't stay in contact—and it should have stayed that way.

XOX

Dawn was as livid when she entered the pokemon center, as she was when she left Paul initially. The walk didn't cure her rage in the slightest. She stormed all the way to her shared bedroom with Drew and May, threw open the door and started to not-so-quietly pack her things.

May sat up; "Dawn, what's going on?"

"I'm not sure anymore!" She admit. "What I do know, is that I need to be on my own for awhile." Dawn said exasperated, turning around to grab some charms from the desk and zip her back pack.

"Why all of a sudden? Did something happen?"

"No, well.." Dawn hummed, "Yes, but in a good way." Dawn breathed. "I'm learning to see things a little more clearly."

Both Drew and May gave her an earnest, puzzled look; and for a brief second, May looked worried.

"I'll be back for the Hoenn grand festival... but until then.." Dawn grabbed May's shoulders, to which the brunette grabbed her friends hands, and squeezed them tightly.

"Where do you plan on going?"
Dawn paused for a long moment, thinking of the last place she needed to visit. "To Johto, they're opening an advanced contest section there, and I'm going to be apart of it."

May looked to Drew, then back to Dawn as the latter threw on her bag and nodded to her friends. "You're leaving now?" May gasped worriedly, and without being able to express everything that happened, Dawn nodded.

"Yes. I'm going to take the late ferry to Johto." She explained. "I don't want to waste another minute!"

May inhaled at her enthusiasm, it was always inspirational how determined Dawn could be-even after acting so strangely the last few weeks. May shook her hand.

"I hope that you will find what you're looking for."

Dawn grinned. "I hope that you do, as well." She said in return, waved a good bye to Drew, and then without another thought, she exited the bedroom.

She could have said more, explained her thoughts, her reasons and logic, but instead, she held her head high. For now, she needed to think of herself, to think of her goals and her life—her dreams. She couldn't let herself get caught up in what was going on around her, because that would only weigh her down—for now, she needed to focus.

XOX

Dawn missed it because she left so quickly, but Paul watched her storm off. It was a foreign, painful feeling at the core of his chest. Dawn's words were actually hurtful. It wasn't like he was the one that left...but then again, he never gave her a reason to stay, either. Dawn was right, Paul had been nothing but a stoic asshole to the blue-haired coordinator, and for what? He stayed out of view of the pokemon center when he saw Dawn step out once more with her head high, her tears dried, and a destination in mind.

She bounced back so easily! Yet.. Paul was scowling with...feelings.

Author's Note: edited 2018-12-02

Dear past self: Dawn was OOC. Lord help us all.

Biggest changes:

BOY, there were a lot of them. First of all, I changed May and Dawn's interactions; Dawn was opening up sort of, until May asked her 'what kind of girl do you think I am', which shut Dawn down.

Then I took out some..weird foreshadowing? Added some inner thought, CLEARLY stated what was bugging Dawn because she's not an infant, her brain should work. How she chooses to handle it still is mostly the same.

Changed the interaction with Misty—it felt more 'real' this way, to be a conversation, not Misty flying to Hoenn because like omg. She's a busy person, why could she make time for that all of a sudden?

I took out the 'dawn is jealous' thing from this chapter...because it never played a part in later chapters? Idk what I was thinking?

I made the reason Dawn refused to talk with Paul more apparent because he was rude to her first. And over all I think I cleaned up Dawn's character.

Lastly, I... really did not like the shift in Dawn's character from spitfire to this one, where she went from "I like helping other people and doing what I want because why not" to "I WANT TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP D:" It didn't work. Lord and fanfiction readers, have mercy on my soul. I was being a dumb person.

Annnd those are the biggest changes.

Thank you, and...uh... good day -hearts-

NINT