Equanimity, Chapter 9
"Go get a job." Loomed in the air above the heads of Jessie, James and Meowth.
The three of them sat bitterly at a bar, somewhere in Lumiose City, wrapped in their own thoughts as minutes ticked by. Their dreaded presence crashed the booming nightlife of the partygoers beside them, and while their antics were usually lively and boisterous, the trio was anything but. Caught up in their emotions, they licked their new wounds, and bandaged their egos quietly, sipping lukewarm beer, and losing track of time.
"Get a life." Misty chimed at them in a fit of rage. However, the redhead's insults were inspiring at best. Her digs into their psyche were nothing compared to...
"Move on."
Ash Ketchum's solemn agreement, that the nefarious, warmhearted Team Rocket, had truly overstayed their welcome.
Followed him since he was ten.
It had been eight years since then, and no matter how close they had gotten to stealing any of Ash's, or his companions pokemon, they never did. They either unconsciously sabotaged themselves, or intentionally sabotaged themselves. There were no alternatives, and frankly, their excuses were few and far between, especially this late in the game.
A few months ago, they literally captured Pikachu, they had the twerps trapped, they finally had the respect of Team Rocket by helping to infiltrate a party of high-ranking trainers and subdue them... And then they got cold feet. Backed out of helping Team Rocket, pretended it was an accident that they screwed up... But it wasn't.
It never had been.
Lately, Jessie, James, and Meowth, despite all their attempts to be such, were thinking they were not as evil as they once were. If they ever were.
At what point, did following young, Ash Ketchum turn into a guardianship, and less of a job? They trifled with him simply because they felt they had to have some relevance, but over the years, the trio, while following the brat, found many hobbies they adored and appreciated. Maybe, it wasn't being evil that kept them on his tail for so long, but the great sense of adventure that they, in turn, were always a part of.
Jessie was the first to set her drink down, dumbfounded by Ash's words. It wasn't that their colleagues and 'friends' hadn't all told them to 'move on' before. It wasn't that the words weren't uttered among the three of them several times at the hands of defeat. It was that the one person, who reacted seriously to all their shenanigans, accepted their attempts at thievery with open arms and genuine concern for the challenge...had told them to move on.
Eight years, this ongoing feud between the four of them brought them across seven regions, helped him save the world... and perhaps, made them feel needed. When times were quiet, they brought adversary, they brought challengers, they brought...
Jessie's shoulders slumped. Who was she kidding? They didn't bring much to the table, they used the excuse of catching pikachu as a reason to fuel their own agendas for years, the only difference now was that their scapegoat had finally caught on.
Worst of all, at first, they tried to tell themselves he didn't mean it. Then again, for the last few months, they hadn't even been more than an occasional blimp in his radar. He was officially above them in rank and experience.
He didn't need them anymore.
James put his head on the counter, seeming to have the same thought as Jessie before setting his untouched bottle of beer aside, and looking into her green eyes.
"What are we supposed to do now?" James' voice, when he was worried, was strained and still cracked like a teen. It used to make Jessie smirk because she would follow his concern another famous idea, but today, it made her heart sink, and she slumped her own shoulders.
"I don't know, James." She mused, resting her arms on the counter and dodging glances from the people around them. They weren't dressed in their rocket uniforms, of course, but they were hogging a portion of the bar that others clearly wanted, and the bartender was beginning to shift his anger in their direction.
James huffed and shook his beer bottle, sniffling.
Man, Jessie sighed, she hated when James started crying. She extended her hand and patted him gently on the back. It wasn't very reassuring, if anything, it felt like the cold hand of acceptance.
"It'll be alright, James. Don't cry about it."
"But Jess-"
"Listen, guys, either buy some more alcohol, or get outta my bar."
At that moment, Meowth, who had remained silent the entire conversation, leaped forward, claws extended, and scratched at the bartender, gnarling. The bartender put up his arms, and despite the less than intimidating presence Jessie and James gave off, Meowth still had a bit of rage inside of him as he turned to his compatriots.
"Herez' what's we gona' do." Meowth hissed, putting one paw under his own chin before lifting one chin at a time of his companions.
"We'sa gonna wipe our tears, we'sa gonna march outta here', and we's gonna catch ourselves a pikachu."
"-But Meowth..." James urged halfheartedly.
"No buts! Those punks think they're that much betta' than us, but we's only been goin' easy on 'em! We'll show 'em whose boss, 'ight Jessie?"
Jessie licked her lips, thinking for only a moment about what the cat pokemon said, before nodding reluctantly.
"Well, I don't have anything else planned for tonight."
"Then lets'a get outta here bef'a we have to punch 'dis guys ticket, shall we?" Meowth hummed, slipping between Jessie and James on his way to the floor, and out the front door. One at a time, Jessie and James followed suit only moderately dragging their feet.
XOX
While Jessie kept herself busy by helping Meowth plan the next big 'heist', insisting they would prove Ash wrong, James hung at the back of the group, hands in his pockets, and sighing when he knew Meowth and Jessie weren't listening.
It was all fun and games, he told himself. That this life was better than his life at home—however, this way of life was gnawing at the thirty-three-year-old. How many times were they going to repeat this same loop? He wasn't sure how Jessie and Meowth felt, but he was sick of chasing around Ash Ketchum, and sick of pretending like he enjoyed the life of a villain. The reason they couldn't catch pikachu was truly because they did not want to. He knew that Meowth and Jessie had both already come to this realization as well, only, they were less willing to admit it. Like him, this was all they had. The company. Jessie and Meowth were his only family, he'd be stupid to leave them behind, hell, he wasn't sure what he would do if he did.
So, he stayed. After all, it wasn't all bad. They had a blast coming up with new ways to trick the twerps over the years, opened several hundred different businesses, sold more ideas than they could imagine.
"...Sometimes I wonder if this is all worth the trouble." James muttered, whining from behind the duo. Jessie and Meowth stalled to walk beside him.
"What do you mean, James?" Jessie asked, her eyes squinted curiously at him while he sighed bitterly.
"Quit both ya' complainin'. Once we capta' that pikachu, it'll be worth it in da' end!" Jessie and James both tried to raise their fists in agreement, but then they drooped with equally less-enthusiastic sighs. Enthusiasm was hard to keep up after eight years of failed attempts, time after time.
"I just..." James inhaled, wavering in his step. "I just think that maybe the reason we can't catch pikachu is because we don't want to. Clearly, the twerps had a point and since that raid at Pallet Town-"
Meowth held up a paw to silence him.
"That was jus' a minor set back!"
Frustrated, James shuffled his hands into his pockets and dug his heels into the concrete below.
"I'm just saying that maybe they had a point! They've all moved on, why haven't we?"
The insufferable silence that sunk between the group at his comment left them wounded. Abruptly, the trio stopped, with Meowth jumping up onto James shoulders, to see him at eye level.
"Jus', jus', jus' what, James?" The cat mocked him. "Didn' we all agree das we fail the best? We can't be quittin' now."
Jessie, in her large, black coat sighed beside the two of them. She pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration and then extended her hand to level with them.
"Maybe James has a point, meowth." Jessie sighed. "Our plans lately haven't been more than appearing at random, inconvenient times. We've lost our edge."
"We're failures." James mouthed, running his hand over his face as he shrugged meowth off him.
Meowth, flustered, looked on at his teammates who lazily sulked to a bench, and then growled. They weren't failures. They were heroes and villains. They were great in any field of work they chose. They were masterminds, having thought up a million new ideas to capture pokemon. They turned events upside down. They were glorious bastards. Not failures. Meowth huffed.
"Don't ya' dare say that."
"Really?" James questioned, crossing his arms silently. "What do we have to show for our eight years following the twerp? More importantly, what do we have to show for our time with Team Rocket? We haven't accomplished anything."
"That... That's na true!" Meowth urged. "We've suc'sfully won competitions." He gestured to Jessie.
"We've built some of da greatest contraptions in da world that have only mina setbacks."
"We've traveled all around da world, even saved't once or twice and..."
"But none of that has to do with Team Rocket." Jessie acknowledged, cutting Meowth short just as he, too, was realizing this.
"We...we're not good at being bad." James huffed. "We're just...bad."
"But not at everythin'" Meowth tried again. "What about dos' restaurants we wanted to make! Or dat tea shop! We may not be very good at bein' bad, but we're good at somethins!"
His encouragement brought a smirk to both of their faces. Jessie and James shared a brief smile.
"Yeah, I guess that's true."
"So, what? Even if we can't catch dat pikachu, we can still prove to those twerps that it hasn't all been for nothin'! We've been more than successful. In small ways!"
"Yeah." James smiled earnestly, "We have been moderately successful."
"Then les' go show 'em whose boss!" Meowth cheered, finally rallying his team mates to stand up, and follow him back into the streets.
James smiled, and kept one foot in front of the other, but it didn't matter. They completely side stepped the real problem. They were still 'active' members of Team Rocket, who in their last meeting went turn coat, and hadn't received new orders in weeks. The problem wasn't that they hadn't had success in some areas—it was that their livelihood was not their passion...and showing up at Ash Ketchum's door wasn't going to fix that.
James felt rocks at the pit of his stomach as Meowth exclaimed that they would show 'those twerps' but gave no indication on how, or why it even mattered. There was simply nothing left at the end of this road they were walking on. This was not their first time falling into a rut. Usually, reminding themselves that they were the best at what they do, and taking pride in their short comings, or by finding glory elsewhere, they escaped their destitute. However, this time their ever-growing rut seemed to latch onto his esophagus and wouldn't let go.
XOX
When Team Rocket collected themselves, they were in better spirits; though not really. Jessie, even though she told James and Meowth that she was better, couldn't pull her mind away from the constant reminder that she spent years working, and had nothing to show for it. With the twerps each gaining success every day, Jessie was left to wonder if she had already passed her prime. James reflected these thoughts as they bordered the park where familiar jolts of electricity bounced corner from corner through the park. Ash battled Bonnie and Max with pikachu; and was winning. He always won now, it seemed. They had no chance.
They approached wearily as the battle seemed to come to a close with pikachu landing a devastating attack on Max's mudkip, following up with an effective tackle on Bonnie's pokemon that had both trainers catching their pokemon and Ash standing across the ways, smirking with his hands rubbed together.
"You two work really well together!" Ash complimented, much to Team Rocket's dismay as they ducked behind bushes.
"Wasn't he with the redhead?" Meowth noted quickly, scanning the area for her terrifying gyarados. When they saw that there wasn't one, eyes turned back on pikachu, who was still pumped up from the battle.
"We could attack 'em now, while their guard is down." Meowth suggested quickly, but the idea was met with silence of a defeated James, and a scowl from the frustrated Jessie.
"Guys?" Meowth whispered, turning to his long-time teammates, who looked away from one another bitterly.
Behind him, he could see Ash parting ways with Max and Bonnie, have a laugh about strategy, and promising to visit them later. He was leaving; but Jessie and James didn't seem to care.
"What are yous'a two doin!"
"...Maybe we should just take some time off to think." Jessie suggested bitterly, thinking over her own loose ends; while James nodded his agreement.
Meowth didn't have time to respond properly, as he turned to see Ash packing up the last of his things and motioning for pikachu to jump onto his shoulder—they had to act now before he had time to think.
"...Guys, you can't be serious. That was only one set back, we have plenty times to get 'em."
"But how many times have we already tried? We've failed hundreds of times!" James hissed quietly, with Jessie arguing behind him.
"And when we finally succeed, we end up releasing pikachu because we can't—we can't..." Jessie looked pathetically over to James, who reflected her words in his green eyes, and then they both looked at Mewoth, who was appalled at what he was hearing.
"I—a, I'a can't believe yous two..." he muttered, both of his companion's heads turned downward.
"...Meowth, we're in our thirties, and we have nothing to show for it."
"We do, too!" Mewoth argued.
"Like what?" Jessie hissed; a bit harsher than James' calm tone. "We do this every time. We complain, we realign. It's pointless!"
"Well...we..." Meowth started, but was stuck on any real success in the criminal field—simply because, they didn't have any. "We're getting' there. Da' boss wasn't made over night, eitha!" He suggested, but a grimacing Jessie and James shook their head.
"We'll see you at the hide out... We—I need to think." Jessie muttered, thinking over her time in the Kalos league showcases during her time competing to be Kalos Queen, and then turned away from the group, not even bothering to hide behind the trees anymore. James spared a short, sad glance at Meowth but nodded his agreement, and then followed after Jessie in jog.
Stunned, Meowth could only watch them leave.
"Well who needs the two'a!" He screamed, throwing out his paw. "I'll get pikachu myself!" He screamed, darting out from the bushes and running blindly in the night towards the fading figure of Ash, who walked down a poorly lit dirt path.
Meowth wasn't sure what to think; he only knew that he had to act, and fast. He needed to prove something, anything that Team Rocket still had a purpose! So, when he reached Ash, he did the only thing he knew how to do.
"Prepare for trouble!" He yelled, immediately catching Ash's surprised gaze.
XoXs
"Meowth?" Ash muttered, surprised to see the cat pokemon standing in front of him, tears streaming from his cheeks and through his tan fur as he rattled off the motto Ash had heard almost every day for the last eight years of his life. Only...without two key figures.
Ash laughed.
"What are you doing?"
"Stop interrupting!" Meowth shouted back, trying to make the best of his movements, deepening his voice for James, and raising his voice for Jessie's lines.
Ash tried to stifle his laughter when he realized Meowth was serious, and eventually, the giggles turned into genuine concern, followed with absolute confusion as Meowth wrapped up the motto. Breathing heavily, and slightly impressed with himself Meowth threw his paws up and pointed at Ash.
"Now, I'm gonna steal ya's pikachu, so just hand 'em over."
Ash looked glum, and found himself squatting, a few feet away from Meowth, to see on his level.
"Did something happen? Between you and Team Rocket?" he asked curiously, no hint of worry, or malicious intent, or fear that Meowth would be even slightly successful on his own. Insulted, Meowth scoffed.
"No! We're just...we're just..." Meowth started, eyes closing as he lowered his paw. "Whada kid like you understand, anyways?" Mewoth groaned, realizing it was pointless to battle Ash without Jessie and James to support him; he was likely to be K. in seconds, and blasting off didn't seem like a situation he wanted to face without his companions.
He looked sad, blue, even; Ash's eyebrows knit beneath his messy hat hair and he grimaced, sharing a look with pikachu, who could only shrug his small shoulders in response.
"I'm not a kid." Ash decided, arguing his point while Meowth glared at him.
"Nott'a kid, huh? What a bunch of crap." Meowth taunted, crossing his arms. If he couldn't win in a battle, he could at least win in a battle of wits.
"I'm not!" Ash argued, veins popping on his head. "I even work, unlike you!" He argued, recalling all the meetings, public appearances, and conferences he had attended in the last month. His head was beginning to hurt.
"We work!" Meowth bit back, but Ash grimaced.
"Stealing is not work!"
"We don't even steal anything" Meowth argued back and Ash rolled his eyes.
"So, you're really not working then?" He suggested, the tone of his voice harsh enough that he inwardly grimaced—perhaps Misty had been rubbing off on him in other ways, after all.
Meowth took a step back, appalled by such an accusation. "Well we woulda' been more successful if it weren't for ya' twerp! Just give us yous pikachu!" Meowth tried again, and at this point, Ash felt a pull in his heart.
Pikachu dropped from his shoulder, feeling his trainer's thoughts while Ash placed his chin in the palm of his hand. "...It's pretty obvious you'll never take pikachu." Ash said matter of fact, reopening Meowth's wound.
Meowth hissed, "What would you know!?"
"I know that if you were ever even temporarily successful, I wouldn't stop at the end of the earth to get pikachu back." He said with a warm smile that pikachu reflected through his own eyes as they looked at one another.
At his words Meowth had grown furious. "Well, what do you know! You live thousands of miles away from home, anyways! Ya don't even know what yous should be doing Mr. Champion!" Meowth yelled, his accent faltering only slightly as he turned to flee; Ash's face fell at the jab to his title, and he rubbed his stomach while pikachu's cheeks sparked in protective nature.
"No, it's okay pikachu." Ash calmed the mouse down while watching meowth take off back into the forest, where he disappeared into the darkness without another word. His behavior was… off. Ash wondered if what he and Misty said had gotten to them. It was strange seeing meowth without the other two.
"...I hope he'll be okay Ash muttered, moving on from his thoughts about Team Rocket quickly by turning back into the direction of the city.
Honestly, the pokemon didn't understand, either... but he did; and he knew that Ash did as well as he looked up to his trainer who seemed disturbed by the notion that he wasn't following his correct path.
"...Ah, what do they know, anyways? They're just a bunch of crooks..." Ash muttered into the darkness, straightening his collar to hide the more provocative marks left over from his time with Misty.
XOXs
"Do you think we were too harsh?" James asked Jessie who laid back on top of their dismantled machine while they looked upward at the dark sky. The stars were hidden behind rain clouds, but they didn't seem to mind.
"No. We never try twice in one day, anyways. We should have time to think." Jessie confirmed, tapping her foot endlessly on the metallic surface below them. James sighed in return.
"I just feel so...disappointed, Jessie." James whined, tucking his hand below his head as he turned over to look at the woman lying beside him.
Jessie didn't reply right away. She did too, but she wasn't ready to voice her concerns; simply admitting that she was giving up for the day still bothered her...but really, what were they supposed to do.
"Do you think we should try stealing other pokemon?" Jessie suggested nonchalant. "Maybe a rare pokemon?" She added quickly, and a small light left James' eye.
"...I'm not sure." he said honestly, having never been faced with the idea of trying to break outside of the twerp's box. Without Ash as their guide, James wasn't sure what they would do; or even where to start, it had been so long.
"Maybe we should just..." she sighed as James spoke, staring at James for a second before sitting up. "Steal something else?" James asked, emphasizing the word steal.
"...Maybe we don't even need to steal?" He added and Jessie seemed appalled at such a suggestion.
"Maybe we should..." James swallowed, looking at his teammate with a look of complete terror, right as Meowth appeared through the bush in the opening.
"...Move on?"
Author's Note: edited 2019-07-11
I didn't really change the content of this chapter, but more of the delivery of this chapter instead. Some of it may still read odd, like the battle between Ash, Bonnie, and Max—but I can't with this chapter anymore.
NINT
